Online Insanity

When Searching For "Goblin the Pug"

2007-10-30T21:54:00.000-05:00

So....Greg and I are going to be acquiring a puppy pug in the near future, her name shall be Goblin. Which is why I decided this would be a nice search to search for. When I first started my search I came across many pugs, goblins, and cats named Goblin. However down the line these lovely men showed up. The suits they feature are astounding and they have wonderfully large ears. I don't know who they are, what they do but they sure know how to dress.

When Searching For "Jack the Clown"

2007-10-29T00:28:00.000-05:00

Generally, the search results posted here have nothing to do with the search term.... Well, in this case, the image does relate, but is just freakin' creepy. I was unaware that there ever was a clown magazine... but apparently so. How unsettling is this image? Very.

When Searching For "Balloon Attack"

2007-10-28T14:42:00.000-05:00

Alright, I'm back too. I figured I would search for something inspired by some events that transpired last night. You probably can't tell from the smallish picture above, but those soccer players are constructed from balloons and are also huge. There are two humans standing next to the soccer ball for reference. The very strange part of the picture, though, is that it came with an explanation unlike almost every other post I have done. It is the world's largest non-round balloon sculpture, and it's pretty big. I don't know if a bigger one has been made since they finished construction on these soccer guys, but I'm not going to put any effort into finding out. I'd imagine it isn't a very competitive pastime.

When Searching For "Freddy Krueger"

2007-10-27T01:11:00.000-05:00

With Halloween around the corner and Horror Nights on my mind, I searched for Freddy Krueger and came across another Golden Retriever suckered into a halloween prop.

When Searching For "Halloween"

2007-10-26T11:15:00.000-05:00

I figured I'd do a quick "Halloween" search. After numerous pictures of pumpkin's throwing up their insides, this appeared. I don't think it was the image itself I found funny, but the person who named the image file:

gbs_halloween_party_dog_with_fake_butt_h.jpg

Very descriptive.

When Searching For "Bandwidth Overload"

2007-10-26T02:10:00.001-05:00

So yeah. Apparently this blog has been getting thousands of hits over the past few months we have ignored it. People are finding it while searching for all sorts of creepy stuff. This caused the bandwidth to go temporarily over the limit, hence this search. Maybe we'll all start posting again, maybe not.

Who knows...

When Searching For "Guitar Bot 666"

2007-04-21T17:18:00.000-05:00

Last night we went and saw Captured by Robots....my favorite was Guitar Bot 666. I decided in honor of him to do an image search and this is was I found. There were only about 5 images that showed up and this was the very first one, and it is also the very best. I thought that this man was very nice to needle point his mom something and know you will too.

When Searching For "Money I Wasted"

2007-04-16T08:54:00.000-05:00

I think this may be the creepiest one I've come across yet. I was thinking about all the stupid crap I've bought and never used. This of course runs the gamut from textbooks that I never read to Confederate Army pocketknives from Flea World that I never cut or stabbed anything with.

I expected a bunch of pictures of assorted gadgets, clothes, and maybe women. These were indeed present, but right there on page 1 was this little head-scratcher. It comes from a purported Futurama "fan site", but I honestly don't know how you can create this and still consider yourself a fan of the show.

Of the many things wrong with this "fan art", what struck me the most is that Leela's personified egg doesn't know how Fry's Frerm got there. Is this implying that Fry drugged and assaulted Leela? Is that why the middle Frerm looks so sheepish? I hope that instead Leela and the Leelegg do not have a very strong line of communication, thus causing the confusion.

Friday the 13th

2007-04-13T16:23:00.000-05:00

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

2007-03-29T23:03:00.000-05:00

Not nearly as interesting as it sounds, but it does in fact exist:

http://blogs.enotes.com/decision-blog/

When Searching For "Skippers"

2007-03-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

I owe my "job" to Sarah for finding the picture for this tag-team post. Also, big thanks to the punk assholes who skipped us in line last night for providing the inspiration. You may have saved 5 minutes by jumping ahead, but we figure you'll need it after smoking away your life on the way out. Enjoy the lung cancer!

I guess I should at least try to relate this picture to this post, so turn on your speakers and enjoy:
http://www.theminiman.co.uk/index.html

When Searching For "Song Stuck in My Head"

2007-03-20T11:12:00.000-05:00

So I've had about 3-4 different songs getting stuck in my head over the past few days. One of them is from being at Disney too much... the others range from bad pop music to catchy synthesizer breakdowns (sound familiar, Alex?). I realized nobody has posted since Saturday, so I googled what was on my mind and found this.

I then searched Napster to see if I could find any of Eddie Murphy's dancetastic songs... but only found his standup... which track one of his CD is titled "Faggot" and has him calling an audience member a "faggot"... and then discussing randomly driving by people on the street calling them "faggots". I am not kidding.

What a waste of time.

Andy Richter's New, Yet-To-Be-Canceled Series

2007-03-17T21:19:00.000-05:00

Andy Richter and Tony Hale starring in a new series created by Conan? Sounds like a cancellation in the making. Andy Richter plays Andy Barker, a CPA turned PI. I don't know, sounds like it could be good, but I didn't have the patience to sit through much. All six episodes are streaming in full. More than anything it makes me miss Andy Richter Controls the Universe (every single episode of which now seems to be available on YouTube).

When Searching For "Banana Stand"

2007-03-16T20:16:00.000-05:00

So I'm cheating a little bit with this one. I was thinking of Arrested Development, so I searched for the famous Banana Stand. Many pictures of the Banana Stand were present.... as well as many bananas. Then there was this band... (see above)

The actual image that came up with the search is on this page:
http://www.alleged-iguana.com/rn/afghanistan_banana_stand.htm
But then I saw the other image and decided to share it....

Afghanistan Banana Stand?! I'm going to leave it at that and not even begin to try to explain... mainly because I can't think of any explanations.

When Searching For "The Good Old Days"

2007-03-14T15:25:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry, but this only represents the good old days for sadistic orthodontists, that dude from A Clockwork Orange, and guys who have an unnatural fetish for abraded genitals.

Oh yeah, back in the good old days when candy cost a penny, we had to hide under our desks in case Cuba bombed the shit out of us, and people put crazy contraptions like this crap in our mouths. Pardon my nostalgia.

When Searching For "The Final Countdown"

2007-03-14T00:08:00.000-05:00

So, Nikki tells me that her and Robert were skiing and they heard the "Final Countdown" playing on the slopes. I figured that I could do a search for it. Well, I had to travel through 12 pages to find this beauty but I do believe it was indeed worth it.
Don't know what it is, what it's for, or why it "pops up" when searching for The final Countdown....but it did and I'm glad.

When Searching For "Biggest Flea Market"

2007-03-13T00:10:00.000-05:00

Two separate posts influenced this one. Obviously, the last "Flea Market" video was the main inspiration, but as you may recall an earlier post involved "Sausage on a stick wrapped in a chocalate chip pancake." As far as I can tell, this looks to be some sort of meat on a stick wrapped in a pastry, maybe cinnamon sugar? In any case, this hardly looks appatizing. It came from some random asian flea market, too.

The other thing that I need to say is that nearly every flea market calls itself the "world's biggest" or "largest in the country." I'd like to see some facts, man.

YouTube "Flea Market"

2007-03-10T01:21:00.000-05:00

Not much explaining to do. Its a real commercial (this is the extended version) that has turned into an internet fad. Enjoy.

Its just like... its just like... its just like a mini.... mall.

When Searching For "Explosion"

2007-03-08T18:35:00.000-05:00

This is probably the most accurate Google Image Search has been in terms of results. It took several pages to find the image above. There were indeed many pictures of fire and explosions... as the search term would lead you to believe.

As for the image I found... I was just so impressed with the graphic prowess of the designer that I felt the need to share....

Random: Ruining The FedEx Logo

2007-03-06T11:57:00.000-05:00

This isn't really a regular "when searching for" or "youtube" post, but whatever...

Here is the FedEx logo. We've all seen it many many times. I'm about to point something out to you that will ruin it forever. I'm serious. Every time you see it from now on you will think about this. It will haunt you forever.... Look at the space between the E and the X. The empty space forms an arrow... see below...

See? They have a nice little hidden arrow in their logo. Trust me, everytime you see it now, you will think about it. I apologize in advance.

When Searching For "Greg Johnson"

2007-03-05T23:49:00.000-05:00

I was so inspired by Alex's previous search that I felt I should try to incorporate it into my own. This picture pretty much just makes sense. All the pieces come together. What can I say?

When Searching For "Not the Grossest Thing Ever"

2007-03-05T22:34:00.000-05:00

I was so inspired by Alex's previous search that I felt I should try to incorporate it into my own. Also I remember a very in depth discussion at Chilis about how we shouldn't turn our searches into a bunch of "not" searches so I wanted to rebel. Besides when this photo came up and I saw what it was, I thought it was pretty gross looking. So why would it be under "not gross"?

When Searching For "Grossest Thing Ever"

2007-03-05T12:57:00.000-05:00

Rest assured, this is not actually the grossest picture ever. I suppose I'm lucky, because tubgirl and goatse didn't show up. I was pretty surprised. I think too many people label their own photos as "Grossest Thing Ever" when really they're only kind of gross. I mean, a giant blister on your foot is gross, but I've seen pictures in which the skin is falling off of the foot. So I mean, show some class and label your photos "Pretty Gross" or "Really Gross, But Not Compared to Consumption Junction."

Anyway, about the picture. I think it's pretty funny. I'd like to think that the guy just walks around town like that all the time. And that he gets really upset if you laugh at him. That'd be quite a combination. And oh man, look at that hair.

When Searching For "Clean Family Fun"

2007-03-02T12:53:00.000-05:00

The first word that comes to mind is "classy"... Fun? Probably not. Family? Negative. Clean? Hell no... I'm thinking several shots of penicillin would be required after a visit.

I'm just glad they didn't try and copy the Toys 'r' Us logo...

When Searching For "Love Monster"

2007-03-01T00:32:00.000-05:00

I don't want to be fired from the site so I did a search for "Love Monster". I chose this particular search because that is the name of the stuffed animal I got Greg for Valentine's day. I glanced over on his desk and there it was. So, I figured it would make for a good search. I was very reluctant at first because I thought I would come across a lot of images I didn't want to see.....which I did, but also found this. I thought it was pretty good because we all enjoy Jurassic Park and it was fitting.