Crisatunity

Stop Reading This

2009-03-01T22:08:00.001-06:00

Stop reading this. Read this => http://crisatunity.com

Copyright © 2009 Michael John O'Neill
http://twitter.com/crisatunity

Tweets for Today

2009-03-01T00:06:00.001-06:00

all I have left to do are the xml feeds and tightening the belt on some boilerplate text #

Reading: Unbeaten Ireland edge out England tinyurl.com/bx7lgb #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-28T00:05:00.001-06:00

I never knew my wife was "the one". She was on the path I was already taking. #

Listening to new U2...apparently they've succumb to Grandma Syndrome. What a Ben-Gay smell-fest. #

Twitter tip of the month: Stop recycling what others say. It makes you a vacant schmuck. #

Fuck it. You are all vacant schmucks. #

Is there anything ailment Makers Mark can't cure? bit.ly/qwo1t #

Reading: ORA-08177 can't serialize access for this transaction tinyurl.com/auzj3c #

Doing the simplest thing that will work is the best course. Unless, I'm covering the tracks of my murdering, then I like to trick it up. #

If you are thinking about blogging your latest hand-wringing experience in the retail sector, please please please die first. #

I'm going to tackle and tickle the first person I see when I walk in the door. #

One of the new interns starts tonight. Slavery is back, baby! #

Ditching SQL Server in favor of MySQL for crisatunity.com. Why? Because. #

Fun fact: my puppy only has 19 toes. #

It turns out School House Rock comprised 43% of my overall education. #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-27T00:06:00.001-06:00

I've got nothing today. Going dark. #

redoing crisatunity.com into something I can cry into #

How I turned out to be a such a dazzling individual is a complete fucking miracle. #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-23T00:05:00.001-06:00

Caught the end of Escape from New York, can you believe Snake switched the tapes and screwed up world peace? #

For a diary entry 500 words is a better barrier than 300, but then I'm unable to write them down for fear of them actually being read. #

Somebody is going to talk me into Paul Blart today. I just know it. #

When I don't dangle my toes in the stream, I'm most decidedly all the way out. #

Reading: when a card just won't do tinyurl.com/crca2t #

As anticipated, I've been Blarted. #

Whiskey doesn't kill that sinking feeling. #

Braving some sausage tonight. Yesterday's fish sandwich was more disappointment than generated by my son's disdain for football. #

I don't believe you can be free of debt and be an adult. My kids are just kids and they owe me big time already. #

Grilled onions and mushrooms, bratwurst sausage, heart-attack at fifty. Bring it you bastard. #

Is swallowing the pill of mediocre done well and long easier than the pill of brilliance too shortly lived? #

The problem with my debt is that I didn't know I didn't need those things until I was already over laden. At the time I really believed. #

I think I'm about to drop an f-bomb in my strip. #

Following through on some genuine surliness in today's strip. tinyurl.com/dlmf5g #

No one has ever commented on one of my titles. #

It's icewater and fighting off the kitten's witching hour to get some more rest for me. P.S. Oscar talk is as boring as Superbowl talk. #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-22T00:04:00.001-06:00

Not sure how it happened, but anyone under 30 is now under the umbrella of the label "kid". #

I'm making shutins look adventurous. Time to hit the road, rob a bank, something... #

Tyler Perry for 24 straight hours on TBS? There is no doubt, the terrorists have won. #

I wonder if I could sell a business plan. I'm really just too tired to do anything with it. #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-21T00:04:00.001-06:00

Reading: Music DRM xkcd.com/546/ #

What is an optimist? Waking up in a puddle of my own sweat is as good a mysterious puddle as I could hope to meet in the middle of the night #

Despite all assurances, Baby is most definitely and utterly in a corner. #

I really should get one of those retro hats that makes me look like a total prick. #

braving a cheeseburger. even if it makes me hurl. i'm so hungry. #

what I really want is a fish sandwich. #

Hindus are really missing something when it comes to a kick ass cheeseburger. #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-18T00:04:00.001-06:00

Soleil is actually growing and thriving. His unwillingness to jump up to or down from anything is fascinating. Runs like the devil. #

Coffee Additive Preferences: cinnamon, turbinado sugar, egg nog, whipped cream. #

Tiddlywinks and fiddlesticks, I lost my coffee cup at the office. #

Doesn't New Zealand have a democracy? Stop drinkin all the whine and vote on some cheese of change. #

So why does that lady in Connecticut get to keep a chimpanzee and a goat is off limits in my neighborhood. Anti-goat laws are out of whack. #

Reading: CSI: Denmark tinyurl.com/bqqhcg #

You know what would be awesome? Having the gas turned back on at home. #

Apparently I suffer a Twitter coma sometime around midnight tweetstats.com/graphs/crisatunity #

eternal hate is always a player tinyurl.com/by6kqc #

wht f twtr chgd b th lttr? #

This seems like the least noticeable Black History Month ever. #

Sucknopsis™ ( @melissablue13 ) #

Just learned it's milquetoast not milktoast...all my previous publications must be recalled. #

my son called me at the office (where I'm stuck) to play rock-paper-scissors. his passive aggressive guilt trips won't work on me. #

twitpic.com/1jmjo - Anyone know what this picture is of... 3000 Romulan credits for a correct answer #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-17T00:04:00.001-06:00

corporate; do more with less. me: go slow not fast. #

weirdest thing: my brain damaged kitty doesn't remember anyone day to day nor does he realize the world is three dimensional. #

I've found something more obselete than newspapers...business cards. #

I like answering questions, interesting questions. #

Seriously considering Grover tattoo ... tinyurl.com/97c3t #

Obviously, I'm not seeking feedback. Take your anonymous feedback and place it gently in your cramhole. #

Even if you yell crazy shit on a street corner, you and your mug has to be there. #

Something, I don't know what, is amiss in the Twitterverse. Methinks there some sort of automatic find-and-follow tool on the market. #

My day's dose of Bliss was a tease and a flirt. #

facebook: all your comics R mine. me: you might want to get a boy to start your car in the mornings. #

nothing says twitter-d-bag like "welcome @you @you @you and @you..." #

Having blind faith in today's leader is subjugation to tomorrow's dictator. (no I don't mean @CrissWrites - she's a dictator we can trust) #

I should have went home for lunch. Missed out on some creme brulee. #

My Plan for the Olympics to Matter Again: Introduce two new events: Pancake making and Pancake eating. I would medal in both. #

"Help! I can't swim in jelly, as far as I know." #

Checking luggage is for suckers. Who wants their clothes and stuff going down in flaming wreckage? #

me: RobMcNealy you are a mindless vacant tool. RobMcNealy: Thanks. We should connect on Facebook & MySpace. #

what's up with all the black avatars? that nz thing? #

hey all you marketing internet tools that started following me today: hire me to tweet for you so you come off less like a tool. #

my unfollow trigger finger is as itchy as it has ever been. returned follows liberally today and totally regret it. #

Reading: In case you have forgotten the rules tinyurl.com/b8d2aw #

I'm still trying to get my head around why facebook threw away their future today. Greatest affront to content-creators ever? #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-16T00:04:00.001-06:00

someone just purred, wow. #

before i have coffee thoughts race through me like, why don't we just open source minnesota and maybe canadians will start working on it? #

twitpic.com/1i8gi - one dose of packer espesso #

twitpic.com/1i8hr - where's my coffee? #

so kevin caught and killed his first wild "trash" rabbit in the yard...going to have to keep on eye on his blood lust in the house. #

the funniest part of mactards making fun of windows is that they have absolutely no technical understanding of anything #

due to kevin's status as a minor, all photographic evidence has been sealed #

time for a short beer and a long movie #

Reading: O'Driscoll praises improving Ireland tinyurl.com/dlddpn #

if I had better liquor in my cabinet, perhaps the end of the world could have been averted. #

joyless obtuse dim uninteresting photocopied people make my nads swell and hurt #

tonight's excision was altogether undifficult #

if friday is #followfriday then sunday should be #seversunday #

I learned all I'm going to learn for today even if Grover started in on me with hypnotic songs, it wouldn't help. Holla' #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-15T13:00:00.001-06:00

i can't ever seem to read captcha. does that mean i'm a spamming robot tool? #
stockard channing is my valentine. now you know. #
off to Central Market to buy some snooty groceries, because who doesn't need an $9 bag of potato chips made by trappist monks? #
can't find my debit card...i am now indistinguishable from a hobo...how will i obtain overpriced goods and services now? #
Valentine's Day has been delayed until tomorrow due to idiocy. Please visit cancellations.com for up to the minute status changes. #
sandboxing facebook app development is a little tricky #
jazz cafe, downtown dallas, poetry, BET *and* CNN personalities....let's just say i'm `reluctant` to attend and leave it at that. #
someone just purred, wow. #
before i have coffee thoughts race through me like, why don't we just open source minnesota and maybe canadians will start working on it? #
twitpic.com/1i8gi - one dose of packer espesso #
twitpic.com/1i8hr - where's my coffee? #
so kevin caught and killed his first wild "trash" rabbit in the yard...going to have to keep on eye on his blood lust in the house. #
the funniest part of mactards making fun of windows is that they have absolutely no technical understanding of anything #
due to kevin's status as a minor, all photographic evidence has been sealed #

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Tweets for Today

2009-02-15T11:55:00.002-06:00

going simple for tonights hallmark-induced dinner: buffalo steaks in mushroom sauce with peas. #

Just in case you need it today, some breakup background music. ♫ blip.fm/~26trr #

i can't ever seem to read captcha. does that mean i'm a spamming robot tool? #

stockard channing is my valentine. now you know. #

off to Central Market to buy some snooty groceries, because who doesn't need an $9 bag of potato chips made by trappist monks? #

can't find my debit card...i am now indistinguishable from a hobo...how will i obtain overpriced goods and services now? #

Valentine's Day has been delayed until tomorrow due to idiocy. Please visit cancellations.com for up to the minute status changes. #

sandboxing facebook app development is a little tricky #

jazz cafe, downtown dallas, poetry, BET *and* CNN personalities....let's just say i'm `reluctant` to attend and leave it at that. #

someone just purred, wow. #

before i have coffee thoughts race through me like, why don't we just open source minnesota and maybe canadians will start working on it? #

twitpic.com/1i8gi - one dose of packer espresso #

twitpic.com/1i8hr - where's my coffee? #

so kevin caught and killed his first wild "trash" rabbit in the yard...going to have to keep on eye on his blood lust in the house. #

the funniest part of mactards making fun of windows is that they have absolutely no technical understanding of anything #

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Locust Park

2009-02-14T11:28:00.004-06:00

Marbled milky harbor ice resting upon
restless winter black currents,
twisting and cracking
opaque cold steam wisps                escape
friction without heat
wilted brown oak leaves
slowly swallowed        sinking
into the ice        as
tears offered for spring salvation.

A selection from LSD49.
Copyright © 1994 Michael John O'Neill

http://twitter.com/crisatunity

Tweets for Today

2009-02-13T18:01:00.001-06:00

yeah! I defeated the facebook connect monster with my +1 bastard sword. #

i can't believe this kitten. he appears to be fighting on for another day. he's my new hero. #

my hero just peed on me. but that's a good thing. #

diverting the company's nuclear pile to generate energy for the time machine. destination: beer o'clock #

don't be a slave to high priced web comics eternalsunshine.crisatunity.com #

even a broken clock...gets binned like the pos that it is #

that candy i just ate went bad sometime when craigslist was just a twinkle in a swinger's eye #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-12T22:05:00.001-06:00

no gnus is good gnus. glad i'm in the office today, safe from the real world. #

off brand toaster pastries are the devil #

If you don't know why My Tea is Rich, you should. #

just saw Tasks in my Gmail, yeah like I need email to whip my ass with things to do #

alt+0153 means i can own the world one tweet at a time #

i'm resisting temptation but if i tell the someone i'm resisting that i'm resisting then i won't be resisting any more #

interesting demonstration of cross site scripting #

kera radio is doing sesame street deliciously #

kermit was the ultimate alpha male #

what is corrupt, bloated, boring, and drug-addled and needs to die? rush limbaugh? no, the olympics. #

if you click only one don't click this year, don't click this is.gd/jkdN #

Don't Click™ #

i just realized i have a reasonable claim on the nickname "jack" #

yeah! I defeated the facebook connect monster with my +1 bastard sword. #

i can't believe this kitten. he appears to be fighting on for another day. he's my new hero. #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-10T18:05:00.001-06:00

now my son is fake sick because he's concerned about the amount of attention he's not getting. yes i said it: fake sick. #

ES: Liquor Cabinet Lockdown tinyurl.com/bh8neb #

wrote a new strip: Liquor Cabinet Lockdown ping.fm/Q3jeh #

mr fake sick just hurled all over my bed. damn you hubris. #

comic strip dialog and twitter posts involve similar strengths and limitations #

(a rotting mushroom left in a baggie in the fridge for far too long) = (helen thomas) + (actual talent) #

my sore throat is cinching in upon itself due to guilt, remorse and helplessness #

i swear i will lob a nuclear grenade at the next person that mentions a what-the-fuck-ever 2.0 #

bacon in the morning. that might make whatever is going to happen not so bad. #

beware fantastic samples that belie the terrible whole #

my old ratty worn shoes need polish. plz RT #

readership up 4% today. booze humor always sells #

if i use my papermate classic pencil on my papermate white pearl eraser, will the universe explode in irony? #

declare, begin, end. the story of my life. #

the part about holding people's hands at work that i don't like is that subsequently i must scrub with a hard to find brand of pumice #

the sole proprieter of my own business just fired me #

twitter is like a really crappy, held together with rubber bands and paperclips, blogging and comment systems mashup. #

number of facebook friends i've had pants down experiences with: 3 #

number of facebook friends i've had pants down experiences with (in the last 20 years): 1 #

what i hate most about east coast people is that they start drinking an hour earlier than me #

taking erepublik.com for a romp #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-10T17:08:00.001-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

now my son is fake sick because he's concerned about the amount of attention he's not getting. yes i said it: fake sick. #

ES: Liquor Cabinet Lockdown tinyurl.com/bh8neb #

wrote a new strip: Liquor Cabinet Lockdown ping.fm/Q3jeh #

mr fake sick just hurled all over my bed. damn you hubris. #

comic strip dialog and twitter posts involve similar strengths and limitations #

(a rotting mushroom left in a baggie in the fridge for far too long) = (helen thomas) + (actual talent) #

my sore throat is cinching in upon itself due to guilt, remorse and helplessness #

i swear i will lob a nuclear grenade at the next person that mentions a what-the-fuck-ever 2.0 #

bacon in the morning. that might make whatever is going to happen not so bad. #

beware fantastic samples that belie the terrible whole #

my old ratty worn shoes need polish. plz RT #

readership up 4% today. booze humor always sells #

if i use my papermate classic pencil on my papermate white pearl eraser, will the universe explode in irony? #

declare, begin, end. the story of my life. #

the part about holding people's hands at work that i don't like is that subsequently i must scrub with a hard to find brand of pumice #

the sole proprieter of my own business just fired me #

twitter is like a really crappy, held together with rubber bands and paperclips, blogging and comment systems mashup. #

number of facebook friends i've had pants down experiences with: 3 #

number of facebook friends i've had pants down experiences with (in the last 20 years): 1 #

what i hate most about east coast people is that they start drinking an hour earlier than me #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-09T17:07:00.001-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

thinking about time for work tomorrow makes me feel like rock biter #

propaganda is important. you can't win without it. but it is still just that no matter how much your faith upon the substanceless depends #

i can barely handle a special needs kitten. if i weren't unfuckingbelievably lucky, i'd be screwed #

when i see through propaganda, i'm sad that i'm not getting fooled. basically i'm tired and i want to give up. #

time for my sunday night twitter tradition #

quoting other people on twitter? not cool unless you make it up. i don't need your hand me down witticisms #

wisdom shmizdom #

why am i different? i have no illusions that i'm much more evil than you. #

top three items in my tweet cloud: i'm, me and my #

i'm confident that my tomorrow will destroy me #

kind of sad i don't know what today's special is #

the more passionate the agenda, the less vigorous the honesty #

figuring out the next great thing. yup. right now. #

not that. been done before. omg, there's nothing left to do. #

is there a market for children's books that are just for cool kids, not those noisy sheltered ones? #

even the webcomic world has no echo chamber cannibalistic bounds, which is terrible when you aren't being eaten by anyone. #

prediction for 2010: you will have to have a facebook credential to get mainstream things done on the web #

if i am matter, then @david_n_wilson is anit-matter. or vice-versa, who's to judge who is which? #

always feels like playing with fire to type fuddruckers in any office correspondence #

i just put that clear "tint" on my phone's display. now it looks like a hooptie with a home-made tint job. (sobbing a little) #

dark chocolate m&m's® just fell from the sky into my lap. yummers. #

time for some lunch so i can give my bowels some homework #

for lunch i did not dine on food but rather sustenance #

it seems to me that i could best this...is the hard part staying up 72 hours or just suffering through so much TV? bit.ly/5aWE #

stupid fucking kitten. i hate you. #

added wishlist widget to my site. that would be so cool if i ever got something. #

my day just ended. thud. #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-08T17:10:00.001-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

when god calls us home, i sincerely hope he intentionally leaves the sprint, network, phones, customer support and executives behind #

i would bet my house on the likelihood the mother of two by 19 is having lots of sex and lives under the delusion of "why me" as life motto. #

i ventured into google groups for something...a great lesson in why new social media is crushing old stinky usenet #

please die already blockbuster, race-bating dolls should just about do it #

the strip has a new character! #

ES: What's New Pussycat? tinyurl.com/aoxf8r #

throat seizing up with scratchy phlegm and i'm capable of feeble muffled coughs, afraid of permanent damage #

convinced after a couple weeks that wordpress ain't all that #

despite reassurances, i'm certain death from lung crud is imminent #

i really want you and your fake mad to go fuck yourself #

blog comments should be restricted to 140 characters too. people blather so. at least the damage could be contained. #

sick is making me ugly. here's to a nap making me pretty. #

spruced up the site a bit. almost looks dignified now. #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-07T17:10:00.001-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

Reading: More Lemon Socialism -- And Why The Limits on Wall Street Pay Are For Show tinyurl.com/da37qp #

is doing a webcomic supposed to feel like i'm the talent in a piano-bar situation? #

how many people do you know that can outwit you, easily? #

ES: Fixed the IE problem tinyurl.com/d6w2t2 #

i find @twitpic unacceptably slow, time to roll my own #

twitpic.com/1d67t - just a test. look away. #

i think @twitpic just chokes on inbound email is all. email has been eliminated from the equation. #

violence and cursing rights a lot of wrongs #

damn you, boyle's law #

caller id hardly ever fucking works for me, another scam #

finished my twentieth strip, sadly balloons did not drop from the ceiling #

ES: Lasers Are in the Eyes of the Beholder tinyurl.com/c67x8j #

i haven't made rice in *years* #

today is breakfast rice, pot boiled then fried in bacon grease with onions, bacon, ham - and today - a smidge of pickled jalapenos #

gmail should filter chain letters, even when they come from my mom #

correction: especially when they come from my mom #

already seeing my weekend crumble away #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-06T17:09:00.001-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

atlas wouldn't be strong enough to return netflix envelopes #

fake-deep yuppies just made my stomach clinch #

nuking facebook friends that aren't friends but contentless drivel monsters #

i think my web comic is just a cosby stand up reduction #

new strip is posted #

no i haven't drawn the kitten yet, get off my back #

ES: tinyurl.com/blvyc8 #

not enough dynamite to blow up my life, yet #

sallow and withdrawn appears to be the order of the day, on a friday no less #

who remembers being ten years old, running to the liquor store for their mom with a personal check to buy her smokes? #

pepperidge farm remembers #

today is the day i ran out of ideas, time to regroup #

presenting irrelevancies diminishes our points of views #

be a mother fucking laser beam #

i can't believe i still know people that use caps lock #

ES: Site looks like crap in IE tinyurl.com/bcpsv9 #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-05T17:07:00.001-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

witnessing another corporate dick move this morning #

now i feel itchy, great #

getting hardcore tool treatment #

Little Debbie Nutty Bars should be repackaged as breath mints #

so who is the real Dallas Observer @Dallas_Observer or @ObserverDallas ? #

itchy Itchy ITCHY #

nothing is more disappointing than the undervenomous "goodby" workplace email #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-05T10:04:00.002-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

deleted a bunch of stuff, one thing at a time, like i was cooking ants with a lense #
Reading: PUFF by William Wondriska tinyurl.com/d8faj3 #
i still get freaked out every wednesday at noon, like the city wants me on edge #
my faith in the beauracracy has been unrewarded again #
i am so done for the day #
does anyone know how to send mobile photos to facebook without using MMS? my phone's seams are bursting. #
witnessing another corporate dick move this morning #

Tweets for Today

2009-02-04T12:02:00.001-06:00

There is no rhyme, reason or direction to any of these. Your teeth will fall out if you attach meaning to any of this.

i have an astonishing lack of understanding of what standard deviation actually means #
thought creeping in wishing i had one something going i could be arrogant about. i wouldn't be arrogant. i just want that one something. #
$10 for a paperback? are you out of your fucking gourd? #
let me see...where did i put my hot toddy recipe? #
my work badge has a distinct peanut butter smell #
if you know how to spell pico de gallo, does that make you authentic? #
little secret: i have three voicemail boxes (work, cell and home). i have never listened to any of them, delete is the only function i know #
it would be great if irish coffee were waiting for me right when I got home #
my good deed for the day... tinyurl.com/bog5nl (wall post) #
if a charity is fed through unsolicited phone calls, then screw that charity #
i'm getting hopelessly deleriously lost and found in the bbc sports compartment of the night's news #
figure skating: it's not just for girls and sissy boys anymore. oh wait, um, still is. #
canada has an attitude problem #
deleted a bunch of stuff, one thing at a time, like i was cooking ants with a lense #
Reading: PUFF by William Wondriska tinyurl.com/d8faj3 #
i still get freaked out every wednesday at noon, like the city wants me on edge #

For Those of You Remaining

2009-02-04T10:11:00.005-06:00

I admire your tenacity (or sheer laziness) to remain (or fail to unsubscribe).

I am no longer blogging, obviously. It just didn't work out, blogging and me have gone our separate ways. However, I have wired up this blog to receive a daily drop of my Twitter activity (minus the "@" replies) with LoudTwitter service.

Knowing that this place exists, I've put more ass into my tweeting.

This blog used to be http://blog.crisatunity.com, which is now a 301 redirect to my webcomic, Eternal Sunshine. This blog is now http://twitter.crisatunity.com because that's all that's going on here (mostly).

Copyright © 2009 Michael John O'Neill
http://twitter.com/crisatunity