SHED THE WEIGHT BY '08

Predetermination

2007-12-19T11:03:00.000-06:00

It is all about motivating your soon to be scrawny ass up until Monday, December 31st. Why would you even think about giving up even an inch to your opponent now? After this bet is over, you can cram all the blazin' buffalo wings you want into your face. Hell, you don't even have to set foot in a gym the rest of 2008. Start gaining back all the pounds you've lost over the past few weeks, we don't care. Our interest lies in seeing one of you guys turn into a loser, while the other becomes a champion, a champion of Shed the Weight by '08.

There should be no excuse not to work out after every time you visit this retarded web page. There will be a superabundance of motivational videos and clips that will force you to get out there do some serious damage to your opposition until you end up looking like Skeletor.

UPDATE: With little time left, Lloyd has attempted to once again sabotage Team Mike D. In an audacious act, Mr. Gasdia attempted to solicit team leader Mr. Jackson into joining Team Gasdia. To much surprise, the offer was immediately rejected by Mr. Jackson. Lloyd must now face the fact he is an asshat after this failed negotiation. Did he not recall Mr. Jackson's dedication and loyalty to Team Mike D as the Team Leader?

Nonetheless, if Team Gasdia should prove victorious, Mr. Jackson will be humbled into the fact that his decision was not wise.

The negotiation between the two must have been intense.

Pivotal Point

2007-12-18T08:21:00.000-06:00

Dieting must be one of the hardest tasks that you can attempt to tackle. The gyms will be filled with a whole lot of numb-nuts right after the new year, trying to promise themselves that they can shed those last few holiday pounds. Bullshit, it never lasts. They will be right back on their couch the middle of February eating wings, meat lovers pizzas, and washing it down with a six pack of beer. However, the feat that these two retards are trying to accomplish is of mammoth proportions. Who in their right fucking mind would diet through the Holidays? Inspirational.

With about two weeks to go, it is coming down to the wire. You have no fucking time to cheat yourself and sneak in that one last meal. From here on out you will keep your nose to the grindstone. If you choose not to, you will lose this fucking bet and be labeled as a big fat loser with no pun intended.

The past few weeks have been hard. Don't let anything stand in your way and get you down. Tough it out for thirteen more days, push yourself, and crush your pathetic opponent. You will need all the help you can get.

Disappointing

2007-12-06T10:14:00.000-06:00

Let it be known, when you are on a stupid fucking diet, you do not go and eat at Caddalic Bar, Buffalo Wild Wings, T.G.I.F., or Woodrows. It makes perfect sense for Lloyd and Mike D to stay at home, eat iceburg lettuce, drink water, and do jumping jacks until this birdbrained bet ends. But not them, not these guys. These fucking guys hang out at all the super hip, super greasy parts of town, stuffing their faces while blabbing about how they are not eating the food at the places they visit. Then why fucking go? Don't give your team members the same 'ol shit, "but all I had was vodka and water and celery sticks." It doesn't matter, they don't want to hear it. You are letting your teams down and you fucking know it.

A lot of people are starting to get really pissed. You've asked for their support, they gave it to you, and now your reckless behavior is becoming a concern. Go ahead, lie to yourself and your team. Tell yourself that it's just fine if you just gobble up that last quesadilla. Wolf down that last fried green bean. Wash it down with a "light" beer, who fucking cares? You obviously don't. Diet? Sounds like you can eat what you want, pathetic.

Have fun this weekend eating your 96 oz. steak, losers.

Nothing inspiring about today, very disappointing.

Never Show Your Hand

2007-12-04T11:08:00.000-06:00

The gloves are beginning to coming off. As of late yesterday, Team Gasdia and Team Mike D have officially disclosed confidential information on their progress of Shed the Weight '08. Dumb asses. Team Mike D must have felt the pressure after Team Gasida's foolish move. It also seems that Mr. Dumoit is stepping up the showboating.

"I don't know how many more pounds I can lose." - Mike Dumoit

Peer pressure at it's best, one sucker after another.

Nevermind that. The two teams have begun a powerful form of psychological warfare. Both claim they are telling the truth. Fucking liars. It is important to realize that whomever is in the lead now is obviously vulnerable and possibly lying. After full disclosure, Lloyd's feathers must have been ruffled just a bit, Mr. Dumoit seems to be in the unofficial lead. However, It is much easier going forward knowing where your opponent stands in this stupid competition. There will be an impulse to sit back, eat a fucking roast beef sandwich with pickles and watch Judge Judy. During this mini-victory phase, your opponent will have the luxury of gaining momentum without notice. When you least expect it, New Years Eve rolls around and then whack, you get blindsided with a sledgehammer to the face. Loser!

Team Mike D is clearly in the lead on a 2-to-1 ratio by 5.5 pounds about halfway through. Somebody is about to get fucked. Keep your composure, do not falter, and just remember, winner takes it all.

Reckless

2007-12-03T08:40:00.000-06:00

With a slight, unforgivable hiatus on updates, it seems that one team refuses to take a breather. In a bold, fucktarded move, Team Gasdia has ceremoniously shown their hand in the competition, with 28 days to go. What the fuck is that shit? This changes the sediment of the whole wager. It would have been clever to down play your fucking progress, sheltering the upper hand from your opponent. Fuck that. Not Mr. Lloyd Gasdia, undoubtedly a barbarian in his own right.

That's right, 221.6 lbs. after about a month into the competition. Intimidation at its best with a net loss of 18.5 lbs.

"There's no wall in sight on my end, you're going to need every ounce - I'm bringing it and I'm bringing it double, bitches." - Lloyd Gasdia

Pay attention Team Mike D, Lloyd is boasting and posting his progress, will you? Despite stuffing your fucking face with blackened tilapia and shrimp, eating my queso, and munching on hushpuppies; you have a lot on your plate this week, literally. Do not let this image interfere with your sediment, you have the 2-to-1 advantage in this competion. From the latest reports, it seems as though you will begin training hard with your team leader, Mr. Jackson. With a plethora of Jiu Jitsu and boxing lined up, there is no reason you shouldn't be neck and neck with Team Gasdia with a little less than a month to go. Go get 'em tiger.

Jiu Jitsu, Kickboxing- the effort is the same. Train your hardest to defeat Tong Po, or Lloyd Gasdia, whomever comes first.

UPDATE I: In an unforseen move, Team Mike D... whether they like it or not, has disclosed their weight as of today. With a total loss of roughly twelve pounds, it clearly reveals their lead and accomplishments over the past few weeks. Team Gasdia, you better wake the fuck up. With a brazen attitude and audacious rhetoric, you may have overlooked your opponent's progress. No longer can you sit on your ass, eating rice cakes and spinach salads expecting a win. It is the hard numbers that will eventually call this bet.

Tensions Mount

2007-11-27T08:20:00.000-06:00

There have been multiple emails and phone calls in the complaint department the past twelve hours or so. It seems that posting a picture of Mike D's belly before posting a picture of his opponent, Mr. Gasdia, is a lopsided way of doing business, almost extortionate. The consternation between the two teams is apparent. Considering we have viewers from around the world, we would like to make everyone happy. I'm sure the people in Bat Yam, Tel Aviv; Pangkor, Malaysia; Kaskinen, Finland; and of all places Howell, Michigan would agree. You know who you are, Site Meter does not lie.

Now, before the picture is revealed we must examine the fucking story behind this pathetic commitment to Mr. Gasida's obligation. I would assume that everyone knows that Zapp's Cajun Dill Gator-Tators are nearly irresistible. They are tastier, crunchier and even cholesterol free. However, does that mean you have to fucking sleep with them? No. But what we have here is a man sleeping on the fucking job, literally. Those chips are so damn good that he took them home that night and went to bed with them. While Team Gasdia is known to have the dedication of a freight train, this picture exposes a vulnerability that has gone unnoticed, until now. Team Mike D, observe, it appears that Gator-Tators are a form of Kryptonite.

BEHOLD!!!

EMERGENCY UPDATE I: It looks like Team Gasdia had a deceitful plan over the Thanksgiving holiday persuading Sara LeBlanc a.k.a. Mystery Sponsor, to overfeed and coerce his opponent, Mike D to consume mass quantities of casserole. Now, if you are too retarded to remember from last night, Sara is Mike D's cousin. This is blood vs. blood, not even a sanctuary from your own fucking family. You will be ambushed. If you guys were smart, you won't even talk to your parents for the next 34 days.

A Case of the Mondays

2007-11-26T14:27:00.000-06:00

It just wouldn't be a good start to the week unless you started it with a good diet joke and a picture of Mike D's belly. Now, we do not yet know if the Mike D belly sighting is pre-turkey, or post-turkey but regardless of the time frame, the picture in itself is astonishing. You have been forewarned, this picture is alarming. However, you'd be a fool not to figure out that one of the reasons this stupid site is up and running is because of his growing belly.

BEHOLD!!!

This joke is to make you slightly chuckle, not laugh.

A guy calls a company and orders their five-day/ 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program, "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your mine." He lost 63 pounds that week.

Mondays are not for motivational videos. Let it be noted, Mondays are for remembrance on your idiotic mistakes, decisions, and the overestimations you have made throughout the weekend.

UPDATE I: Lloyd has secretly changed his goal for the competition. Details cannot be divulged.

UPDATE II: Lloyd's mystery sponsor has finally come out and revealed herself. It is Mike D's cousin, Sara LeBlanc! This has officially turned into a battle against blood. Some would say, similar to the Civil War, the deadliest in American history. Developing...

No Excuse

2007-11-23T10:12:00.000-06:00

If you are shopping with grandma this fine Black Friday morning, your chances to victory are slim to none. Without a doubt, the Friday after Thanksgiving is the consequential time to stuff your fucking face multiple times throughout the day. A plethora of Turkey sandwiches and college football, naturally. The fixins'? White bread, spread with mayo, dark meat, and pickles will consume this day. However, not you. You understand that the Thanksgiving holiday is one day, not two. It is essential that you maintain discipline.

In your team's best interest, you must work out tougher than a steel town girl on a Saturday night.

UPDATE I:

Anonymous: what did you have for dinner?
Lloyd: a little here and there.
Anonymous: what does that mean?
Lloyd: just that, and I had no dessert.
Anonymous: oh.

UPDATE II:

Anonymous: what did you have for dinner?
Mike D: I fucked up.
Anonymous: what does that mean?
Mike D: I ate a ton.
Anonymous: oh.

Day of Reckoning

2007-11-22T10:50:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving Day will exhaust the weak at heart. The urge to drink yourself into a stupor with some Chivas, watch football, and stuff your fucking face with a greasy turkey leg is potent. You will be enticed to devour Butter Ball turkeys smothered in gravy, stuffing, and a side of sweet potatoes with Land O' Lakes butter on top. Furthermore, how could you forget some good ol' pumpkin pie?

The courage it takes to maintain the regiment of Team Mike D and Team Gasdia's diet on a day like today is immeasurable.

Without further ado, we give you inspiration for today.

Tumultuous Times

2007-11-21T10:01:00.001-06:00

From what I have heard, these two numbnuts are still on speaking terms, for now. In the coming future, the turn of the tides... as some would say, will ensue.

No more acquaintanceship, no more slaps on the back. Not even a "hey bud." Most likely communications will be very limited to fuck you's, quit texting me's, and long, drawn out fucktarded voicemails. The rumors are flying and the shit is hitting the fan. Contestants are already starting to embark on huge sacrifices. Not since the history of man has Team Mike D turned down free beer, until last night. Impressive.

The main reason Mike D is in this retarded competition is due to his love of beer. Kegs, cans, bottles, bring it. He loves it. It drives him, it motivates him, it makes him fat. However, without it, the monster transpires.

If Team Mike D's trend continues, it is imperative that Team Gasdia take this into consideration. Steamed crabs and hiking with the family just wont fucking cut it.

Upcoming Challenges

2007-11-19T17:20:00.000-06:00

What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a rough and trying week for the contenders. This is one of the worst, if not the most strenuous times of the year, the holidays. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, and 41 days left, allow no room for error.

It has been a rough start for Team Mike D. One of his main sponsors and benfactors, Mike Jackson cannot be found. Not even reachable by cell phone, unacceptable. This is alarming, Mike D may have no guidance. Having already desperately tried to set up a dinner last night with his opponent Mr. Gasdia, it looks grim. However, to Mike D's surprise, the dinner was put on the backburner while Lloyd is off to visit family in the North East. Family? Doubt it. If weather cooperates, sounds to me like Lloyd's taking a little time off for some cold weather training.

If Team Mike D has the strength to endure this upcoming week, keeping pace with Team Gasdia, he may have a fearsome upper-hand in the following weeks. As Lloyd gets back from the Boston area, he will begin to have Tex-Mex withdrawls. It is inevitable. They just don't make that shit up North like they do down here in Texas. You are fucked Lloyd, watch yourself.

Cold weather training, the crusade to victory has begun.

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that Mr. Dumoit has been having a slight case of insomnia due to migrating motor complex (or migrating myoelectric complex), either way it sounds excruciating.

UPDATE II: There have been recent talks of sabotage, this malicious behavior must continue.

UPDATE III: Seems that Team Gasdia may have something up their sleeve in the introduction of a new, and very important sponsor. Developing...

UPDATE IV: In a surprise move, Team Mike D's leader and principal, Mr. Jackson has made a stunning change of events, leaving "The Island" which was abundant with Pintail, Redheads, Buffleheads, and Gadwall. He has made the decision to head back to Houston to support his team through the holidays, increasing the pressure on Team Gasdia. A true dignitary indeed. Most should be aware of his nimbleness, and maybe even be alarmed. Take notice.

Welcome Teams

2007-11-19T11:45:00.000-06:00

It makes sense to establish a place in which team members of both sides can do a little mudslinging. This allows teams to get as much information as possible on the progress of the two fucktards, Mike D and Lloyd G. I will do my best posting on this site without divulging significant information of the team I am affiliated with, Team Gasdia. Doesn't that sound a little one-sided? Maybe, nevermind that and go eat a sandwich.

While striving to reach their goal, this will be a place for betting, character assassinations, smear campaigns, backstabbing, and all out war on each team. There will be up-to-date news, pictures, dirt, and most importantly; motivational videos to push the two for the next six weeks. Feel free to email me any important pictures and information and I will get them posted. If you are new, and have not chosen a team to sponsor please post a comment below and disclose your allegiance. Enjoy.

Once again, welcome Team Gasdia, weighing in at 240.1 lbs.

...and Team Mike D, weighing in at 195.0 lbs.

The goal, to shed the most pounds by January 1st, 2008 12:00am. However, Team Gasdia has agreed to lose two pounds for each one of Team Mike D's. Good fucking luck, and Godspeed.

"There is one thing we want you guys to do for us... win, WIN!!!" This is truly inspirational.

UPDATE: It seems there is already a discrepancy in Lloyd's starting weight, unacceptable.

UPDATE II: The man, the myth, the ledgend himself, Lloyd Gasdia has confirmed a final weigh-in of 240.1 lbs. crediting Michael Brazan for using the age old trick of upping the scales right before weigh-in. It seems to have been a clever little trick unknown, and not adopted by Team Mike D.