STILL HOT: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After

Revenge Options - Go Public!

2009-10-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

Post Divorce: He’s At It Again

2009-09-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

Three and a half months since the divorce was final, Mitchell, that never-ending source of wacked out behavior, decided to file yet another complaint against April, his ex.

This makes 5 complaints he has filed in the 97 days since their marriage was officially over. Which, if you know Mitchell, really isn’t a lot considering that during the 20 year marriage he began each day by complaining that April bought the wrong soap for the shower, or that the coffee was regular when she should know that he really wanted hazelnut. Or that April had parked in the side of the garage he preferred. He ended each day complaining that the sheets didn’t smell the same as his mother’s fabric softener, that he resented April for “forcing” him to go to Parents Night at the high school, or that she knew he wanted steak for dinner every night so why did she insist on cooking fish and chicken just because his doctor said he was at risk for a heart attack?

The most recent complaint? Foosball. He wanted his Foosball game back. Well, yes, they bought it for their daughter, and no, it was never technically his, but now he wants it. And, yes, he agrees it was not on the comprehensive list of 437 items he wanted--and took--from the house already--including but not limited to the computer his daughter had been using to do her homework, and all of the lawn furniture, despite the fact that he had moved into a fourteenth floor condo.

April was taken aback that Mitchell wanted to waste yet another day with a court mediator and a judge over Foosball of all things. She would have gladly given it to him except that their daughter made her promise not to give away one more item from their now almost-bare house.

After four hours in a court mediation room, April asked Mitchell “How do you have time for this? Don’t you have a full time job?”

“This is my full time job,” he shot back.

Enraged that April was not found in contempt of court over the Foosball game, Mitchell shouted his mantra: “ There is no justice!” and stormed out of the courthouse. He then screeched off in the brand new Lexus LX10 his girlfriend bought him for his 50th birthday. She'll learn.

Divorce Cakes

2009-08-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

Awesome divorce cakes are definitely the way to commemorate this mixed blessing occasion. Here are some of the best we've seen. Cut thin slices to maintain that divorce diet svelte body!

Keeping the Marriage Going: A Model Husband

2009-06-01T11:39:00.001-07:00

I just got off the phone with Alan, a photographer colleague whose twelfth wedding anniversary is today.
He was so excited to report on the wonderful anniversary dinner date that he and Lori shared at their favorite restaurant, the Grocery, in Brooklyn on Saturday evening.
He dreamily described the perfect slightly breezy, warm, bug-free air they enjoyed while dining al fresco in the garden. He easily remembered that she ordered lamb (medium rare) and that he had the sea bass. And that he snuck off to tell the hostess that it was an anniversary so that Lori would be surprised when dessert arrived at the table.
Later at home, he gave her a digital photo frame filled with their wedding photos, shots of all their former anniversaries, and quite a few adorable images of their Schnoodle puppy whom he referred to as “our son”. Absolutely thrilled with his thoughtfulness, she cried, and then he cried because she cried.

I congratulated Alan on making it to a dozen years and he replied that it isn’t always so easy, and that you really have to work at a relationship. He said that, like anything precious and valuable, you need to continue to work hard to make it succeed. If it doesn’t entail a lot of work, it’s probably not worth having, was his conclusion.

Alan should be the poster boy for all husbands, don’t you think?

Evil Ex? Cast A Spell on Him.

2009-05-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

When all else has failed and you have to deal with an evil EX like Mitchell lurking around and being a nasty SOB, you may have to resort to amateur witchcraft to improve his behavior, or at least get some satisfaction.

Try the THREE NIGHTS OF HELL CANDLE SPELL:

This spell will inflict serious pain and sores on your obnoxious
ex for a period of 3 days, after which the spell is lifted, and he will be well again. And maybe a humbled, nicer guy. Well,hey,it's worth a shot....

Take a lit black candle, place a full body photo of him in front of you, and tilt the candle so the wax drips on several critical places on his picture. Visualize the wax burning sores into his body. While doing so, recite the following incantation 3 times...

As I do this candle spell
Bring mine enemy 3 nights of hell
Candle black, black as night
Bring him pains of flesh tonight!

Lesions on his skin will grow
Afflict him with a painful blow
Sores and pain afflict him now
For 3 nights he'll wonder how

Dukes of darkness, toll your bell
Smite mine enemy, bring him hell
When 3 nights of pain have passed
Make him well, and nicer at last.

After sitting and thinking about the sores and the pain he will suffer, extinguish the candle. Pour yourself a glass of Chardonnay.

When 3 nights have passed,
tear up the photo and say the following...

When 3 nights of pain endured
I lift this curse, rest assured
Darkness leave him, go away;
The curse is lifted now, today!"

Repeat as needed.

Email the Ex

2009-05-13T14:54:00.001-07:00

I would add to those excellent tips: Stick with email and avoid talking to your ex. Communicating with him via email offers several advantages:

Instead of firing off an angry verbal retort, you can get your thoughts down in an email and vent as much as you want without further angering and alienating him.

Then reread and rewrite the note so you sound cool, calm, and mature.

Let it sit, re-read it again from his point of view. Look for signs of anger, provocation or edge. Rewrite it and eliminate those. Pissing him off won't get you what you want -- which is his cooperation.

Once you send it, you have a written record of your communications, and you never know when you might need that.

Mother’s Day: What to Do When Your Ex is a Total Jerk

2009-05-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

When your ex is a complete and total jerk and does everything he possibly can think of to ruin your Mother’s Day celebration with the kids, what can you do about it?

Mitchell, the monster ex from Mass., who was recently divorced from Joy, pulled a doozy this past Mother’s Day. He gifted their only child, Melissa, with two tickets to a Mother’s Day performance by her favorite comedian and even offered to loan her his car, with only one caveat. Melissa could take whoever she wanted to the performance as her guest so long as it wasn’t her mom.

Poor Melissa was beside herself with indecision: favorite performer/Mom; Mom/favorite performer. Though livid at Mitch, Joy helped her daughter out by suggesting that they have an early brunch together and then Melissa could go on to the performance with a friend. What Joy really wanted to say isn’t printable. Even on the internet.

Joy has had more practice than most of us dealing with a total jerk of an ex.
Here are her rules:

• While you can’t possibly control your ex, you can control yourself.
• Limit contact with the ex to the barest minimum.
• Change the way you interact. Throw him a curve ball--Don’t react the way he expects you to.
• Think of your relationship with your ex--and yes for better, or worse, usually worse, it is a relationship--as a business one, not a personal one
• Choose your battles -- only bother to fight those that truly matter
• Always script yourself before you talk to your ex--and stick to the script
• Always give yourself an out such as “It isn’t legal for me to talk now, I’m driving…”
• Never let your children hear you argue

The Real Reason French Women Aren’t Fat

2009-04-28T16:33:00.000-07:00

Last summer I spent a week on vacation with extended family which included a seventy year old French woman with a sylph-like figure. Back then on this very blog site I chronicled what I observed about her eating habits in order to learn and share her secret. I obsessively noted what foods she ate, when she ate, portion size, wine consumption, carb counts.
But now a French friend has shared with me her take on the real reason French women of all ages are slim. It’s underwear. French women adore sexy, expensive underwear, and once you wear the silky luxurious stuff, you simply don’t want blobs of lard seeping out around the edges. So I guess the lesson is-- go out and buy yourself some fabulous lingerie and you’ll automatically lose a few pounds and feel gorgeous. Tant mieux!

Recession-era hair coloring tips

2009-04-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

Like many women, I've been stretching the weeks between visits to my colorist. When money was flush, I showed up every four weeks, nipping those gray roots in the bud. After the market collapsed, I extended the wait to six weeks, but couldn't stand the little salt-and-pepper yarmulke that sprouted on my head. Now I'm going every five weeks, but even by then, my roots look nasty. And it doesn't help that I'm only 5'4", which allows most people to look down at the top of my head!

Drug store products don't usually cover those color-resistant gray strands, and of course, there's always the risk of my ending up looking like Lucille Ball. Now there are root touch-up products that are applied like wax crayons, lipsticks, mascaras and combs and range from $5 to $25.

But hair pros have other remedies that are cheap, temporary, and well-worth trying. They include touching up with the right shade of regular eye mascara, especially for auburn or dark hair. For brunettes and redheads, stylists suggest foundation in a color for dark skin -- just dab it onto your finger and blend it into the gray. Or buy cream eye shadow in a neutral color and brush or smudge it over the grays for blondes or brunettes. All of those sound relatively foolproof. The worst that can happen is that they don't work or they look weird, in which case you simply wash them out. I'll definitely give them a try during week # 5.

Lessons From A Recessionista Biatch

2009-04-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

You know, you can learn something about creative investment strategies from almost anyone these days. Take Susan for instance, that mean-spirited, but money-savvy Massachusetts midget. We personally know two women whose husbands she has stolen, and we have heard of three more marriages she has decimated. She has always been very open minded, disregarding age, belly size, ear hair, and flatulence--she’ll turn a blind eye to any male flaw, so long as there’s plenty of money to compensate.
That said, and all scorn aside, Susan like a lot of women about to break off her marriage with a wealthy man, decided to squirrel away a stash of cash before she made her next move. Decked out in her platform mega-heel mesh boots, and inappropriately young mini skirt and leggings, and newly-platinum blonde to boot, she got herself a secret commission-only job as a personal shopper at Neiman Marcus in the nearby mall. When she wasn’t busy picking out the latest Miu Miu handbags for her customers, she shopped till she dropped with her husband’s credit card using her 35% off employee discount. Once the trunk of her Mercedes SUV was full of merchandise, off she’d schlep to the resale shop. As soon as her stuff was sold and she got her rebate, she started a rainy day savings account, FDIC insured. Designer clothes add up fast! After six months she had $250 K put away, which gave her the confidence to trade in the fat old fart-factory for a younger guy she’d been shacking up in motels with for the past year--who just by the way was going tooth and nail after his wife’s inheritance and stood to make a pretty penny without ever putting in a day’s work.

Men have biological clocks too

2009-04-08T15:39:00.000-07:00

A host of new studies are showing that just as women's eggs age, giving rise to fertility problems and birth defects, so does men's sperm. The children of older fathers scored lower on tests of intelligence, concentration, memory, and reading skills, and had lower IQs, than those of younger fathers. They also had a higher incidence of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and autism. The author of one of the studies concluded: "It turns out that the optimal age for being a mother is the same as the optimal age for being a father."

That evens the playing field a bit. It never seemed quite fair that our biological clocks stop ticking by age 40, while geezers like Tony Randall get to play stud. In the last few years we've seen a growing number of "start-over dads," that is, older men who divorce their wives and start a second family with a new, young wife. Now that this information has emerged, 30-something women may think twice about marrying and having babies with 50-something men.

Dating: Reciprocating on the Cheap

2009-03-26T11:55:00.001-07:00

Dating can get expensive. Whether your arrangement is that your guy pays and every now and then it’s your turn to treat, or whether you split each and every bill, it can all add up.
Here are some ideas for when it’s your turn to pay from our cost-conscious girlfriends out there in the dating world:

• Find out when there is a free wine tasting event at your local wine shop
• Invite him over for a Netflix movie and popcorn
• Ask him to dress up for an elegant dinner at your home (see our $10 ideas) and then go downtown to walk off dinner. Stroll into an ultra fancy restaurant for drinks and split a dessert.
• Check out the free concerts at the local music college
• Ride to the beach and go on a seashell hunt (okay, so we have some hokey friends…)
• Buy a selection of toppings and invite him over to make a pizza together. Follow that up by starting a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.
• Go apple picking and later bake a pie together. Ditto for berries or peaches.
• Schedule a Saturday afternoon of art gallery hopping followed by lattés
• Check the public lecture series at any local colleges
• Volunteer at a soup kitchen together
• Get tickets to a local high school basketball or hockey game
• Go to a driving range and hit a bucket of golf balls
• If you both own bikes, go cycling, and take it leisurely—respect each other’s endurance levels.
• Go for a hike on a nature trail. You bring the sandwiches.

Save these last three for when you’ve been dating him a good long time:

• Sign up for salsa lessons for two
• Buy a selection of scented massage oils and invite him over to choose his favorite
• Give him a manicure , or a shave

2009-03-24T14:48:00.001-07:00

Many divorce lawyers are taking a beating during the recession. Not only are couples postponing divorce until their home values and stock-portfolios recover, but many who have filed for divorce and reached settlements are refusing to pay their legal bills, according to a friend who is a divorce attorney. But there are still a few couples whose matrimonial matters are recession proof.

A 36-year-old countess is demanding that her husband double her divorce settlement to $100 million as she hasn’t enough to cover weekly expenses of more than $53,000. Marie Douglas-David wants to tear up a postnuptial agreement with George David -– a former corporate bigwig who is 30 years her senior and worth an estimated $329 million. Under the agreement, which she claims he coerced her to sign, she would receive a mere $43 million. They were married for six years and had no children together. (George had previously divorced his wife, with whom he had three children.)

The Swedish countess, previously an investment banker, says she has no income and has listed her weekly expenses in a court document. These include $4,500 for clothes, $1,000 for hair and skin treatments, $1,500 for restaurants and entertainment, $8,000 for travel, $700 for limousine services, $2,209 for an assistant, $1,570 for horse care and $600 for flowers.

She is asking for nearly $100 million in cash and shares, plus about $130,000 a month in alimony payments. Her expenses include maintaining a Park Avenue apartment and three homes in Sweden.

In response, her husband lists weekly expenses totally $200,000.

Mr David’s lawyer, Anne Dranginis, accused Ms Douglas-David of nagging and hounding her husband with “extensive, long diatribes” over little things “like how he held his fork or how he drafted invitations”. She accused him of having an affair with a younger woman.

They shouldn't get divorced. They deserve each other.

Recession Dates: Inexpensive But Not Cheap

2009-03-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

After you’ve been dating for a while, even if your new beau has been picking up the bill for all the early dates, at some point good manners will dictate that you need to reciprocate.

Once you know you really like and trust him, invite him to dinner. You can make each of the following main courses for under $10. Add a simple salad, pick up a bottle of your local wine store’s bargain vintage of the week,and some berries for dessert, and wow him for under $25. Plus you’ll save more money--bring the leftovers to work with you for lunch.

Super Easy Meat Loaf for When You’re in a Time Pinch
Prep: 10 minutes
Cook: 1 hour, 20 mins.
1 can condensed tomato soup- low sodium
1 ½ lb. ground beef
1 packet dry onion soup mix
1/c cup dry bread crumbs
1 egg, beaten
¼ cup water

Mix half the can of tomato soup with the beef and the onion soup mix. Add bread crumbs and egg. Place mixture in 8"x4”loaf baking pan. Bake at 350 for 1 hour and 20 mins. or until done.
Remove drippings from pan. Mix with the remaining tomato soup and ¼ cup water. Heat and serve with meat loaf.

OR
(This one takes a while to prep but it is both healthy and impressive)
Low Fat, Low Sodium Baked Stuffed Cabbage
1/2 cup brown rice
1 cup water
1 large savoy cabbage
1 tbsp canoloa oil
1 onion, chopped
2-3 cloves garlic chopped
4 tbsps. fresh squeezed lemon juice (plus a dash extra)
1 pound lean ground turkey
3 tbsps. chopped dill
1 ½ cups low sodium tomato sauce
1 cup low sodium chicken broth
½ tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
1 tbsp honey
Cook rice per package directions until water is absorbed- approximately 30 minutes.
While rice is cooking bring a Dutch oven full of water to boil. Take the 12 largest outer cabbage leaves,rinse them and and place them in the boiling water for 6 minutes. Drain and rinse with cool water.
Chop some of the remaining (uncooked) cabbage to make 2 cups. Set aside.
Heat oil in large saucepan. Add onion and chopped cabbage. Cook, stirring for 3 minutes until soft. Add garlic and cook ½ minute. Add 4 tbsps.lemon juice and cook until liquid has almost evaporated. Cool.
Mix turkey, dill, salt, pepper, and cooled onion-cabbage mixture and cooled rice in large bowl. Coat 9 x 13” baking dish with cooking spray. Lay one cabbage leaf on cutting board. Cut out thick stem. Place 1/4 to 1/3 cup turkey mixture in the center of the leaf. Fold the sides in, then roll closed. Place seam-side down in baking dish. Repeat until all 12 cabbage leaves are filled and rolled.
Whisk tomato sauce, broth, honey, and the leftover dash of lemon juice in a bowl. Pour over cabbage rolls. Cover pan with foil. Preheat oven to 375. Bake for one hour. Uncover and bake additional 20 minutes.

Be prepared to be asked on another date immediately!

Cheap dates

2009-03-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

Apparently the recession has been good for dating, and in particular, internet dating. Single people are motivated these days to find a partner with whom to share the misery, and online dating is cheaper than bar-hopping and ordering drinks. It costs about $35 to join match.com for a month, while Jdate and eharmony are even pricier. But free dating sites have proliferated, including speeddate.com, plentyoffish.com, loveawake.com, and connectingsingles.com. Beware of sites that claim to be free and allow you to browse, but demand membership fees the minute you want to email someone. The best bet is to sign on with a site that doesn't ask for your credit card information.

If you meet someone online and decide to go out, stick with coffee or a drink for the first date. It's cheaper and it spares you from spending a protracted evening with a miserable date. At our recent reading, one woman commented that she always winds up going dutch on dates, particularly because she always asks the guy if he'd like her to pay! But the other women who attended -- ranging in age from 26 to 60 -- unanimously agreed that they expect the guy to pay for the first few dates and that he does. We agree, recession or not!

Meetup-- Meet people who share your interests

2009-03-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

We had a great time at our reading and discussion at the JCC on the Upper West Side in Manhattan last week. Billed as a 39+ workshop, we ended up as a group of women ranging in age from twenty something to septuagenarian, each with her unique view of dating.

The topics ranged from who should pay on a first date, a third date or whenever, to how to avoid the pitfalls of internet dating. One new thing we learned is that there are websites out there which help you find groups of people in your local area with similar interests. One of the participants in our workshop shared her experience that meetup.com is great way to meet people in general and prospective dates in particular.
We had never heard of meetup, but we have since learned that you can have an interest, say practicing your conversational French, and there are meetup groups in several geographical areas devoted to spending a couple of hours a week in French conversation.

We all know that the best way to meet someone special is when you are busy getting on with your life, pursuing your own interests rather than combing through piles of internet dating profiles always looking for a better prospect. So check out meetup and let us know what you think!

REVENGE: Spite after Divorce

2009-03-02T10:07:00.001-08:00

We all know that living well and getting on with your own life is the best revenge, but sometimes even after the divorce decree is in hand, you can’t help feeling like a nice dose of spite would be oh so comforting. And there is no reason to feel alone or ashamed--clearly everybody feels the same way. Revenge businesses are all over the internet on sites like sweetrevenge.com, revengeguy.co.uk, xrevenge.com,and
the payback.com, to list just a few.
These sites offer a range of suitable “gifts” to send that cheap, sleazy ex-husband who raked you over the coals in divorce court. Or,maybe you'd like to gift his nasty shyster lawyer, or his girlfriend who slept with him in your bed while he was still married to you and you were out shlepping his mother to her podiatrist appointment. Or, there is always a chance that you may want to send the gift that says “This is what I really think of you” to your ex-best friend who has dumped you, and now hangs out with your ex’s new girlfriend, her new bff.
So what are the choices? We have narrowed them down to the two best categories- dead flowers and dead animalia. We say, “Say it with roses.” One dozen dead wilted roses can be sent either anonymously or with a nice little note for $24.99. Shipping is free. If the jerk is not worth the flowers, there is a stems-and-thorns-only option for less.
Our hands down fave, though, is the dead smelly fish, shipped in a sealed package and giftwrapped for $19.99. Free shipping. Maggots are another option, as is a bag of dog poo. For real!

Above and beyond these revenge giftings, you can go onto spellmaker.com and shop their voodoo boutique for the ultimate revenge kit--a curse of your choosing. Have fun and don’t forget to write in and let us know how it goes.

Still Hot in New York City March 12th

2009-02-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

The Still Hot Ladies will be in New York City for a fun-filled women only evening. Please Join Us!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
7:00 PM
at the JCC in Manhattan
334 Amsterdam Avenue at 76th Stret
New York City

to register, call 646-505-5708 and ask for program #JFOHOT00W9, or register online at JCCManhattan.org/39plus.

Still Hot: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After

When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt? Join Sue Mittenthal and Linda Reing, authors of Still Hot: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After, for a women's-only evening of wine and cheese and dating tips. The authors will read from their book, take questions, and explore the lighter side of life after divorce. Still Hot is a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek romp through the journey women take while processing divorce. Bring your questions, share your stories and hear priceless tips on how to meet new men: "Get a job in a urologist' s office!"Learn first-date don't's: "Never call your divorce lawyer from the dinner table." Then spend an uproarious evening marveling at how far you've come. For women only.

Thu, Mar 12
7 pm
$15/$20
JFOHOT00W9

Single Mom's Savings Tips

2009-02-21T13:28:00.000-08:00

I just got back from having coffee with my newly divorced friend Bettina. She is totally excited about sharing her latest moneysaving tips for single moms.

She wanted me to remind our readers that you may be single again for now, but you’re not dead to the adult world--you are a grown up human being who needs to be in adult company at least sometimes. If you want to maintain your sanity and continue to enjoy your children, you’ll need to get out of the house on occasional evenings. Instead of letting prohibitive babysitting costs ($15 or more per hour!) turn you into a stay-at-home hermit, Bettina advises starting a babysitting co-op. She started her own by organizing the families in her building to take turns sitting for each other’s kids entirely free of charge. The couples and single moms in her building and in buildings close by are enjoying their evenings out,feeling safe and secure. Each new co-op member family is informally interviewed by current members be sure that everyone is generally philosophically on the same page. And,the best part is that not only are your kids with neighbors you trust, but when you’re out to dinner,you're not obsessively checking your watch imagining that babysitting meter ticking off the accumulating dollars.
Bettina, a paralegal in a high-pressure law firm, is very organized so she finds it easy to track her co-op's babysitting requests, assignments and hours banked on a spreadsheet. If you need a sitter on Saturday night from 7 to 11 pm, you e-mail Bettina who then sends your request around to the co-op members. Once a member signs up to watch your kids, you work out the details with that member who then earns four hours of babysitting time.
Last week Bettina racked up major hours. Her sons are 7 and 9 and are friends with the son of a co-op member who lives down the block. Bettina hosted a sleepover for her two kids and the other little boy from 5 pm on a Friday until Saturday at 2 pm. She’s now got 21 hours of babysitting credit to use at her convenience.

Her second savings tip was one we hear over and over again--the clothing exchange. Women all over town are hosting clothing swaps. Bettina's babysitting co-op members have two kinds of swaps going. In addition to"shopping" at occasional mom's clothing swap evenings, they also swap out gently used baby and kid equipment such as high chairs or tricycles, as well as clothing, snow suits, boots, skates and sporting gear.

Bettina estimates that she’ll save over $4,000 this year in babysitting exchange and swapped items.Time to start your own co-op!

Upshot of Valentine's Day Singles Party

2009-02-19T07:09:00.001-08:00

Here are the results of the Feb 14th party, in which my son's friend Amanda attempted to play Cupid by inviting all of her single girlfriends plus a bunch of single male friends, including my son and his pals. (See previous post, Feb 13th.)

I called my son the following day, thrilled that he had gone to the party and excited to hear how it went. He offhandedly remarked that he and his pals decided not to go at the last minute because the party was "too far away" -- i.e. in a different borough. Is that not like men, or what? These guys are 22 years old, but apparently they're all the same. I hope that the girls had more fun without them!

Valentine's Day: A fun opportunity for singles

2009-02-13T17:16:00.000-08:00

Here's another great idea for the unattached on Valentine's Day. My 22-year-old son, as well as many of his male pals, don't have girlfriends at the moment. Their friend Jon has a girlfriend named Amanda, who has a number of single female friends. So Amanda is throwing a party on Saturday night, February 14th, which she has dubbed "Single Ladies Night." She invited all of her single girlfriends, and Jon invited my son and all of his single guy friends. The odds are good that a few guests will actually hit it off, and no matter what, it promises to be a fun Saturday night and a swell way for singles to spend Valentine's Day.

Best Valentine’s Day Gift Girlfriend to Girlfriend

2009-02-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

The best Valentine’s Day girlfriend to girlfriend gift we know of is a copy of Still Hot: the Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After. First order a copy of Still Hot on Amazon. Then, sit down at your kitchen table with your favorite kindergartener, some scissors and art supplies and make your best friend an old fashioned home made valentine complete with glitter and glue and the works. Just ask the kindergartener- nothing is too over the top on a valentine. Include an IOU for the book. She’s your best friend and she already loves you, but this kind of thoughtfulness will reaffirm what makes your friendship so special.

Valentine's Day: How not to break your budget

2009-02-10T11:52:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day gives many of us a welcome excuse to do a little stimulus spending, but it can also be a ripoff. In researching restaurants for a dinner that evening, I noticed that in my vicinity most are replacing their regular menu with a special Valentine's Day prix fixe dinner. The typical cost per person: $70. But further investigation revealed that the more ethnic restaurants -- for instance, Greek or Asian -- don't pull that little scam. So go Greek for Valentine's Day!

Another recession-proof tip: Instead of buying an expensive Valentine's gift, give your partner a small bottle of scented massage oil and deliver it with a full-body massage. It's less fattening than chocolates, lasts longer than flowers, and is cheaper and sexier than both!

Valentine's Day: How Not to Wreck Your Diet Just Because You're Lucky Enough to Have a Date

2009-02-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

For those of us who are lucky enough to have a dinner date with someone we love, or even like, for Valentine's Day- here are 6 easy Weight Watcher's tips on how not to wreak havoc with your diet plan:

1. Relax
Don't approach the dinner with trepidation. Watching your food intake does not mean denying yourself anything-- you're just making choices about your life. And the really wonderful part is you're sharing a meal with those you love, whether it's your honey, or a group of girlfriends.

2. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want
Scan the menu to create your own dinner. If you want the fish, but don't want the cream sauce, ask for it to be served with the salsa that comes with the chicken. The same goes for the sides: that shrimp dish you want might come with potato gratin, but the roast chicken comes with grilled asparagus. Just ask for the shrimp with asparagus.

3. Order simpler food prepared light
In terms of calories, grilled is better than fried; baked is better than braised.

5. Cut things out during the meal
• Forgo the cocktail, which can be loaded with sugar, and have a glass of red wine instead.
• Ask for lemon juice or vinegar on the salad.
• Ask for cocktail sauce or chutney on your baked potato, rather than butter and sour cream.

6. Share
You can split an appetizer or a dessert, or both. It's very romantic to share a dish with someone you love-- and in these recessionary times, it's likely he will appeciate the savings when the bill arrives!

Single on Valentine's Day

2009-02-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

Men and women who have experienced being single on Valentine's Day know that it can be even harder than being dateless on New Year's Eve. Let's start the dialog with 7 Valentine's Day Tips from Dr. Laura S. Brown, professor of psychology at Argosy University/Seattle:

1. Do not define yourself by your relationship status. Your relationship status is not your identity.
2. If you are single because of a recent loss, allow this to be a day of grieving. Do not pretend that it’s not a hard day. Get support and sympathy.
3. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
4. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of billing and cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
5. Get together with people who do love you -- friends, family members, the people who already have relationships with you.
6. If you are single and you don’t want to be, start now to think about what is in the way of you creating the relationship you want. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Begin to volunteer. Create art. Make meaning. Act to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
7. If you are single and you like it, now is the time to affirm your choice. People who never marry or partner have close, loving, emotionally intimate relationships and lives worth living. Do not let a couple-driven culture define your choice as something wrong.