The Bucket 'Blog

Seen and Not Reviewed - May 31 to June 26

2008-06-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

The Foot Fist Way (2 Buckets) - Much of this indie-comedy, which is spearheaded by a committed performance from lead Danny McBride, is downright mean-spirited. But to dismiss the entire movie as such would show arrogance that equals that of the aforementioned passages themselves. There's a lot of hilarious stuff on display here; the most outrageous of which comes from a certain scene in which McBride's white-trash Tae-Kwon-Do-instructing protagonist delivers a beating to client "little Stevie" because the kid's dad has allegedly slept with his "sensei's" wife. The Foot Fist Way may not be a success on all counts, but it'll be worth a home-viewing for a chuckle (and perhaps a shock or two) when it is released on DVD.

Get Smart (3 Buckets) - Steve Carell is funny, Anne Hathaway is hot, and "Get Smart" is an inspired choice for a retro-TV-show-to-film-adaptation. That all being said, the movie isn't as good as it could've been, but it's still an enjoyable and entertaining experience. The plot may be paper thin and the action may be derivative, but I repeat: Steve Carell is funny, Anne Hathaway is hot, and "Get Smart" is an inspired choice for a retro-TV-show-to-film-adaptation. How could one go wrong?

The Happening (1-1/2 Buckets) - I've prided myself for sticking with M. Night Shyamalan through thick and thin--I even kinda-sorta liked the critically-lambasted Lady in the Water for its abstract values--but this is a piece of crap. Liberal-guilt meets bad dialogue meets unmoving apocalypse-plotting. Wish ya the best of luck next time, Shyamy.

The Love Guru (2 Buckets) - Not as bad as everybody seems to be proclaiming, but still pretty useless nonetheless. Meyers at least manages to milk a few laughs out of the otherwise-lifeless material, which has supposedly been sitting on shelves and enduring dozens of unsuccessful test screenings over the last few years, but proves nowhere near as consistent as he has been in years passed. At least Jessica Alba and Meagan Good look as good as they ever have.

Then She Found Me (3 Buckets) - Helen Hunt's directorial debut doesn't even approach the realm of plausibility, but it's a mostly-endearing experience for its well-crafted melodramatic values. Hunt herself is terrific in the lead-role and, despite awkward characters, Matthew Broderick and Colin Firth do the best they can to support her.

When Did You Last See Your Father? (2 Buckets) - There isn't anything inherently wrong with this British-import from Anand Tucker, but the movie is presented in such a dark, morose tone that it becomes downright coma-inducing. Sure, I thought Colin Firth's portrayal of a man who realizes he never really knew his dad right before losing him forever was compelling, but only enough so to prevent me from nodding off. A little light onscreen next time, please?

"Sex", Anyone?

2008-05-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

"And they thought that middle aged women didn't go to the movies!? Ahahaha!"

Unlike so many other members of the Internet film-commentator community, I never doubted that Sex and the City would be a phenomenon in the days leading up to its release. Sure, I would've been shocked to hear that the picture would open to the tune of over $26 million on its first Friday back when it was low on the radar in March, but the movie's fate seemed very clear to me with each passing day of this month: It would be an undeniable hit.

The facts of the matter were clear: 1) Sex and the City was being hyped on every American Media outlet in existence, with several of these throwing parties and screenings for contest-winnters and 2) it boasted just as many (if not more) advanced ticket sales than mega-hit Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull did a week before.

Still, folks kept doubting that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samatha could draw in any huge amount of viewers beyond the roughly 6-million regular viewers of their HBO show. Prominent 'blogger David Poland speculated that the sellouts were merely the result of women planning better and being more-commonly able to afford a $1 online service-charge for advanced tickets than teenage boys. Steve Mason, head of the popular Box Office Predictions site Fantasy Moguls, thought he was crazy to forecast a figure so high as a $35 million weekend for the picture. Even Nikki Finke's infamous "box office gurus" called It wrong.

But they all were making excuses for the picture not to be a sensation, not logically looking at the facts of the matter. They--consciously or otherwise--couldn't believe that such a vapid, glitz-filled picture could open to $26 million in one day. They had evidence before them that would suggest a huge opening; they just chose not to believe it. I was able to logically assume the flick could muster up to $75 million over three days and I don't have any "gurus" to advise me -- only sellout-info courtesy of MovieTickets.com and Fandango and a view of the public's enthusiasm-level as I perceive it. Heck, I didn't even have any sisters who could've tipped me off by constantly screaming about how awesome the movie would be. Despite being aware of the appeal of the series, I don't think the aforementioned commentators could get their minds around what will now become a $60+ million opening.

And I suppose their aversion was kind of justified. After all, it's pretty hard for a non-believer to understand why anyone would want to watch 2 hours and 20 minutes of nothing but surface-value relationship-talk and ooo-ing and aaa-ing over designer-fashion-labels. But at the core of said aversion was a much more misguided and troubling assumption: that women could not open a movie.

Now I'm no feminist--far from it, as my columns and reviews handily reflect--but I'm not in denial in regards to the power of women in America (Hollywood included). If they weren't so powerful, then a certain New York Senator would not be able to keep fighting in a Presidential Race--today winning over the half-votes of a majority of primary-delegates of states that shouldn't have counted in the first place--that she has been completely counted out of by the Mainstream Media. And if women weren't so powerful, then Angelina Jolie's new twins certainly wouldn't be at the headline of every American gossip-column and maternity-magazine.

Yes, it may be a stretch to liken Hillary Clinton's determination or Jolie's broad-celebrity to females' desire to see Sex and the City on the big-screen, but the issues are linked by a uniting lesson: never underestimate American Women in the Media Marketplace. Despite historically not going out to the movies as often as most teenage boys (or older males, for that matter)--substantial evidence certainly supports this notion--the demographic's many members will damn well sling out $10-and-change to see something that they really want to. And they'll make it every bit the sensation and event that they want it to be. In fact, I think I've seen more coverage of Sex and the City this weekend than I did of Indiana Jones last weekend. Just sayin'.

Many doubt that Sex in the City's success will lead Hollywood to make more movies for women. And they may be right. But one thing's for sure: it's not impossible to make these movies for this audience at all. Oh, and it will at least cause the production of one more Women's Flick: Sex and the City 2: The Makeover.

Seen and Not Reviewed - April 15 to May 30

2008-05-29T22:19:00.000-07:00

As many of you loyal readers know, I am not able to review every movie I see (in fact, sometimes I don't even get to half of them). There are a number of things that go into the decision as to whether or not I will write up a full 500-1,500 words on a New Release. To name a few: how much spare time I have at the given moment, how many viewers the review will attract, and how much I have to say about the film in question. I try to devote more time to the reviewing process during the Summer, but even that goal has been a challenge for meas of late. The most prominent reason for this is that I have seen many advanced screenings of future releases and I like to review them before they flee my memory, despite the fact that the reviews won't appear until a week or two before release. Secondly, the impending site redesign is taking up a lot of my time devoted to Bucket Reviews.

Things will likely remain this way until early August. The redesign won't be complete for another two-and-a-half months; I begin taking 5-hour-per-day Summer Classes next week; and I will have the added workload of covering the Los Angeles Film Festival and San Diego Comic Con, respectively, to deal with in June and July. In the meantime, expect me to be able to review about 2-3 "normal" releases per week; they will usually be the big Blockbusters. (For example, this week I will chime in on Sex and the City and The Strangers.) If I feel truly passionate about a smaller picture or think that it will find broad success in the near future, then I might write a full review for it, too.

Because many of you have e-mailed me asking what I think about several recent pictures, I have decided to begin what will be an ongoing 'blog entry. Every two weeks, I will update it with new releases that I have seen but not reviewed. (Of course, you can always head over to my Screening Log to keep up with this on a more regular basis.) Included will be my rating of the film and a 1-2 sentence blurb on my thoughts. Without further adieu, here is my first post of the sort:

88 Minutes (1-1/2 Buckets) - What begins as a mediocre thriller that may provoke an "It's not as bad as they say! Yay!"-type reaction soon turns into a dreadful one that will, indeed, confirm for viewers that it is as bad as the critics have touted by its third act. What a waste of Al Pacino and (to a lesser extent) Leelee Sobleiski's worthy talents.

The Children of Huang Shi (2 Buckets) - The opening few sequences are genuinely fascinating, but this war-set drama tries way too hard for its own good to be a tearjerker. Tacky melodrama seeps out of every inch of the picture despite its noble intentions and several good qualities.

Deal (1 Bucket) - Not exactly unbearable, but not really a movie, either. Poker-fans may find it mildly involving; everyone else will be lost. I wish I could say Burt Reynolds deserved better, but he probably doesn't.

Deception (1-1/2 Buckets) - What begins as an intriguing thriller progressively loses credibility for every minute of its duration until turning into a completely laughable crapfest. Regardless, it admittedly has a keen sense of eroticism and features a daayaaam sexy performance from Michelle Williams.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (2 Buckets) - Ben Stein raises some good points in regards to the academic-shunning of Intelligent Design Theory in this "documentary", but ultimately stoops to using too many Michael Moore-esque tactics to support his central thesis. Had the picture explored I.D. theory itself, it would've likely been more effective. Then again, it's worth a rental for the fact that you get to see Stein trick Richard "The God Delusion" Dawkins into admitting (for a nanosecond) the existence of a Divine Creator.

The Fall (1-1/2 Buckets) - "Either you are drawn into the world of this movie or you are not," Ebert's hot-of-the-presses review reads. I fall into the latter category, to say the least. Director Tarsem carries out the near-impossible task of making a movie more self-indulgent than his single-name moniker.

The Forbidden Kingdom (2-1/2 Buckets) - Rob Minkoff's latest picture doesn't have quite the same ability to balance goofy cartoonishness and mythical folklore as his last effort, The Haunted Mansion, did. Nevertheless, with Jet Li and Jackie Chan supporting promising young actor Michael Argarano in the lead, how could one really go wrong?

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (0 Buckets) - This sequel has made the impossible possible by being worse than the original. Not only do leads John Cho and Kal Penn deserve more, so do American moviegoers. That this trash, which will undoubtedly provoke teenagers to become addicted to marijuana in its deliberate glamorization of the drug, is allowed to be released with a mere R-rating is disturbing.

How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer (3 Buckets) - This wonderful film, which boasts three wonderful performances and a natural understanding of everyday American life, may end up the most criminally-underlooked film of the year. I wanted to review it in full, but given that it was gone from most theatres in less than a week, I barely had the chance.

Made of Honor (1 1/2 Buckets) - Starts off OK, but quickly descends into common romantic-comedy-inanity-ville. I gotta say, though: this may be the first time I haven't hated Patrick Dempsey in a leading role.

OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (3 Buckets) - If the upcoming Get Smart is even half as funny as this similar spy-parody, I'll be in heaven. Big laughs aplenty--especially during a hilarious beach-set paddle-ball sequence--this picture is a true gem.

Redbelt (2-1/2 Buckets) - You won't find a bigger David Mamet fan than me, but even I'm not crazy about the guy when he isn't spouting his trademark spicy-hot dialogue, as is the case in this picture. It's overcomplicated and, in the end, highly unsatisfying. Good work from Chiwetel Ejiofor and (particularly) Emily Mortimer, though.

Roman de Gare (3 Buckets) - French auteur Claude Lelouch deliberately toys with his audience's perceptions, and to a surprising degree of success at that. Great performances all around, too.

The Ruins (1-1/2 Buckets) - Lazy, dumb, and wholly predictable horror with the added so-bad-it's-good bragging-rights of villains coming in the form of vicious plants. Jena Malone is decent as our central damsel-in-distress but, then again, looking like she does, how could she not strike me in a favorable manner?

Son of Rambow (3 Buckets) - A sweet, everyday fairy-tale from Garth Jennings, who (somewhat peculiarly) also directed 2005's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Non-professional child-stars Bill Milner and Will Poulter deliver career-making performances.

Standard Operating Procedure (3 Buckets) - Errol Morris' latest doc on the Abu-Grahib scandal is much too long and sprawling for its own good, but nonetheless stands as one of the few unbiased and entirely-fascinating films made about the War on Terror. Through a simple desire to understand the photos taken at the now-infamous torture site and the willingness to provide his subjects a financial incentive to candidly discuss them, Morris captures some great stuff.

Under the Same Moon (2-1/2 Buckets) - Despite the fact that it's a dead-wrong and dangerous mouthpiece for an Open Southern Border in the United States, the movie is nevertheless emotionally-involving in terms of its narrative and its tremendous performances by Kate del Castillo and Adrian Alonso.

The Visitor (3 Buckets) - Thomas McCarthy's follow-up to The Station Agent isn't as relaxed or as downright warm as that great film was, but it's deserving unto its own. Richard Jenkins gives an unbelievably affecting lead performance by an aging professor who discovers two illegal immigrants living in his long-vacant Manhattan apartment when traveling on business. What unfolds is rich and thought-provoking, even for those of us who dislike the movie's leftist political stance on the immigration-issue.

Where in the World is Osama bin Laden? (1 Bucket) - I want to like Morgan Spurlock. I really do. But when he goes abroad and does things like, oh, try to paint the Israeli-Palestinian conflict into a propaganda-piece in favor of the Palestinians, his likability-factor seems to drop in my book. That the central point of his near-two-hour-long film is to prompt viewers to sing "Kumbahyah" and ask "Why can't we all just get along?" makes it all the worse. At least Michael Moore has the decency to recognize the fact that he's a liberal nutcase in his films.

Zombie Strippers (1-1/2 Buckets) - "It's Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund hamming it up for the camera! How could the movie go wrong?" I thought to myself. Well, turns out it had a lot of ways to do so, not the least of which was decide to turn itself into an out-of-place anti-Bush polemic... Most of all, though, the movie is B-o-r-i-n-g. Still, marginally better than Rodriguez' Planet Horror as far as grindhouse-recreations go.

Ch-ch-ch-changin'

2008-05-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

So I noticeably haven't been as good as I could have been in keeping up with this 'blog, only posting two entries in the past three months. In fact, the main page is still scarred by my once-fearless prediction that Hillary Clinton would cruise to the Democratic Nomination in the current race to the White House. To say the least: it's time to get updating.

What a better time than now to announce that Bucket Reviews will soon be remodeled! Yes, that's right. It's been nearly five years since I took on any type of major redesign of the site, and I figure that it's about time. Graphics and such will remain the same, but the following prominent changes will go into effect on or before August 15:

All reviews written from 2007-present will be indexed in their own archive and reformatted to fit a more reader-friendly layout. The rest of the reviews in the archives will remain unchanged and be placed in their own unique section of the site, which will include all of my writing during done middle school through high school. This will create a clear distinction between what I consider acceptable-quality writing and lesser writing.

The "Exclusives" Section of the website will be eliminated and archived, as will all of the "Extras". There is really no reason for these to exist, other than for novelty-value. All future "Exclusive" writings will be published to this 'blog and prominently linked on the main-page. The only exception will be Top 10 lists, which will have their own special place.

This 'blog will be updated on a regular basis, meaning at least every-other day. It will become an integral part of Bucket Reviews as I try to ride the ever-growing wave of the 'blogosphere. New 'blog entries will be listed on the main page, providing for easy access.

I may add a few other touches, but this will be the gist of the updates. The goal is to form a more professional, simpler-looking interface that can be more easily navigated. As usual, questions and comments are appreciated and can be e-mailed to me at webmaster@bucketreviews.com.

DVD Picks: March

2008-03-07T08:41:00.000-08:00

With no Presidential Primary in sight for another month and a half, the political scene has finally cooled down. Whether Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton will be the DNC Nominee is, at this point, anyone's guess.

For exactly this reason, my return to the 'blogging scene will only involve sparing political commentary between now and the Pennsylvania Primary. (That is, if I can manage to write another entry between now and the Pennsylvania Primary; I would've failed had that been the task last month.)

So it's time to concentrate on something a little less (or a little more, depending on your point of view) pressing: movies. Because I was largely absent from criticism in the months of June and November last year, there are quite a few movies being released on DVD from those months that I would like to single out.

Note that you won't see anything that I've reviewed or anything high-profile on here (sorry, Into the Wild and No Country for Old Men). With that being said, here are a few criminally underseen pictures being released on DVD in the month of March.

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (available now on DVD!) - Number 10 on my Top 10 of 2007 is now available for the mass market. It was criminally underseen last winter, and now deserves as wide an audience as it can get. In a grave tale of morality, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Marissa Tomei, and Albert Finney all deliver some of the best performances of their careers. The film, directed by seasoned veteran Sidney Lumet, represents that rare find that will both leave you on the edge of your seat and thinking at the same time.

Nancy Drew (available 3/11 on DVD) - What many critics dismissed as a standard confection for twelve-year-old girls was actually one of the most fun movies of the year. In the lead role of the famed title child-detective, Emma Roberts sparkles and charms in a performance that proves that she may just be the next big star in Hollywood. This is pop-entertainment at its best, enjoyable for kids and adults alike. On this instance, I'm prepared to say what I always scrutinize others for saying: screw critics.

August Rush (available 3/11 on DVD and BluRay) - Another picture that was unfairly scrutinized by critical elites, August Rush is a good, old-fashioned weepy that is nearly impossible not to like. Sure, there's some clear manipulation committed on behalf of director Kirsten Sheridan (Jim's daughter), but that's to be expected. Communicating the true power of music through a conventional but well-done lens, the movie works despite its formula. In the lead role, Freddy Highmore is a near-revelation and supporters Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Kerri Russell, and Robin Williams are darn good, too.

Wristcutters: A Love Story (available 3/25 on DVD) - In art-houses across the country, this little gem discovered at Sundance gained something of a cult-audience. In other circles, nobody saw it. Now that it's on DVD, they'll have their chance. Despite an awkward-feeling tone in its second and third acts, the movie comes together with an unpredictable, killer ending that perfectly justifies its surreality. On the acting front, lead Patrick Fugit does a solid job, but the real miracle is Shannyn Sossamon, who does turns in some absolutely wonderful work.

New Hampshire Thrills

2008-01-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

Friends and foes -- I have begun a new chapter in my failed attempts at 'blogging on the night of the New Hampshire Primaries because, frankly, I cannot withhold my gleeful thoughts from paper (or a computer-screen, if you realistically prefer a less-Colonial medium). With a thoroughly depressing, utterly insignificant start in Iowa under its belt--nice as it was to see a truly exciting candidate like Mike Huckabee prevail--the 2008 Presidential Race has just found redemption.

No, I'm not speaking of Sen. John McCain's victory in the Republican Primaries. While somewhat gratifying that McCain, who was just months ago ousted from the Spotlight due to poor fund-raising returns, could come from behind over Mitt Romney, the feat was not unexpected in context. Instead, I’m talking about the triumphant victory of Sen. Hillary Clinton in the Democrat Primary.

Triumphant? -- you ask. My regular readers know that I have not exactly been kind to Sen. Clinton in the past, finding most of her flagrant propositions ridiculous, guilt-ridden, and naive. Additionally, it may not exactly seem like a small wonder that Clinton, who in several November polls was charted to win the Granite State by 30 percentage-points, was able to pull out a victory.

But I think that the Clinton Win represents one for the American People, particularly those with conservative ideologies. Not only do most polls show (Rasmussen to the strongest extent) that Clinton can be beaten by the Republican front-runners, they also show that staunch-competitor Barack Obama would be able to rip most of the aforementioned Republicans to shreds.

With this, we conservatives, the people who generally know what's Best for the United States, can be thankful for the Clinton Political Machine. Killed in Iowa--Hillary should have followed her Campaign's best advice to not even attempt to seek victory there in the first place—it has truly rebounded. Sure, New Hampshire voters showed vast signs in Clinton’s favor early on, but to compete against Obama's recent raging, roaring, change-promising (...but never delivering) message was no small feat!

We're starting to see the Clintons of the 1990s come back, terrific campaign-tactics in-hand... only this time, they won't win the Presidency. For this, we can all be grateful. Unless something truly unsightly happens, however, Hillary will ride a wave of success on Super Tuesday, and take the Democratic Nomination by storm. With this nomination in tow, she will only collapse against her sure-to-be more-foundation-based Republican-competitor. After all, a stunning majority of Americans state that they would never elect Hillary into Office. I would like to think we've all learned a lesson since we allowed Bill to take over the White House.

Hillary's brilliantly-written, dignified victory-speech tonight merely signaled the start of her success at the Primary-level. Instead of merely sitting back and expecting victory, as she unfortunately did in Iowa, she is making sure to stay smart now on all counts. With eloquent, never-too-polarizing messages, Hillary finally delivered an address that made her look more Presidential than tonight's deer-in-the-headlights-looking unexpected-loser Obama. She was firm, assertive, powerful, slick, and unflinching. These qualities, primarily, ensured that she never seemed too womanlike, establishing a campaign where her sex could finally not be considered an issue by the yellow-journalist American Media. (Unless, of course, having a vagina was to work in her favor with female voters -- a pitch no smart-minded Clinton could ever turn down.)

Tonight, I think we've seen the real Hillary unleashed, a Clinton and a Rodham who is as feisty as Godzilla and as falsely-compassionate as Debra Messing on “Will and Grace”. This is precisely why her political-machine-like tactics will win her a nomination. The thought that Obama will be able to rebound in the South, for one, is entirely naive. With Arkansas-homebody Bill and an improvised Southern-accent at her side, Mrs. Clinton will be able to take her own stab at the states that many believe are slam-dunks for Obama or third-wheel John Edwards: South Carolina, Tennessee, Louisiana, Mississippi. After all, the first instances of polls in which African-American voters (a strong group in the deep-South) showed strong support for Obama occurred only very recently, when he became a truly viable candidate.

But Obama won't be considered so viable as soon as he begins to lose frequently and often (coming in the near future). People will realize that he has no substance to his "Change"-campaign and turn back to the seasoned Clinton for promised Progress. (This postulation, of course, presumes that John Edwards does not drop out of the race, which would provide the incorrectly-assumed-to-be-Hard-Left Obama a huge block of Southern voters.) When this happens, it will be all Clinton, all the time. You know Rudy Giuliani’s campaign-effort to take as many “late”-States as possible? Well, that’s Hillary’s strategy too, whether she knows it or not.

Sure, Obama will still carry some support. He has beer-binging college-aged voters behind him, as well as more than a few pompous celebrities (Oprah, Halle Berry, Matt Damon, George Clooney, and others all drank the Kool-Aid). But so what? As seen in New Hampshire, which is home to both Saint Anselm University and Dartmouth College, these blocks didn’t pull through for him as much as he had hoped. Obama’s reliance on young Independents is proving especially tough given the group is rapidly--and in large quantities--hopping on the John McCain Train. Let’s be real: Hillary was the favorite going into this race and her ardent, persistent staffers are going to ensure that she comes out of the winner. (NH is just confirmation of this.) They’re now in full attack-mode, and many are joining their ranks out of patronage to the Clinton Brand.

The result of a Clinton Victory is, as I said, a Republican Victory. Various Rasmussen polls show Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, and Mike Huckabee--the three frontrunners now that Mitt Romney is pretty much a non-story---all beating her. And what a terrific group of candidates these three make for! Giuliani has strong principles when it comes to National Security, John McCain understands the realities of bi-partisan policymaking, and Huckabee would do a great job of bringing the Family back into American life. I would be happy to see any of them as President, and I think all true, realistic conservatives also view them all as viable (if imperfect) candidates.

Heck, even if Hillary were to win the Presidential race, it would be nowhere near as much as a disaster as an Obama-victory. Whereas Obama’s liberal-propositions are actually moderate enough to pass in a left-leaning Congress, Clinton’s are so out-there that they wouldn’t even come close to cutting the mustard. Sure, she’d probably try to create a more-neutral Universal Healthcare Bill than the one that she has already proposed in order to see it through, but I doubt that it would actually make it into legislation. Sure, she might appoint another Ginsberg-esque judge to the Supreme Court, but that wouldn’t do enough to overthrow the strict-constructionist foundation set forth by George W. Bush in John Roberts and Samuel Alito. And, sure, she might withdraw some troops from Iraq, but she would certainly listen to Military Leadership more than the senseless Obama or the clinically-insane Edwards. Hillary might be a terrible choice for President, but she would be nowhere near as awful at the job as her cohorts in the Democrat Party.

On this crisp January evening, we can all be glad that the 2008 Presidential Race is finally coming into its own. We can be also hopeful that we will not be voting out of “convenience” as we did in 2000 or 2004, but because we truly admire a candidate. (It will mark the first instance of this in my lifetime, as I was not around to see the full-glory of the Reagan Administration.) Whether this candidate comes in the form of Rudy, Mike, John, or even dark-horse Fred, the Republican nominee will no doubt reign victorious so long as they are competing against Everyone’s favorite political-genius of an ultimately-unwanted candidate, Sen. Hillary Clinton.