my life, or something like it

Please Advise

2008-09-05T20:47:00.011-04:00

I'm flummoxed. And appalled. It's S.

I'm concerned about his lack of motivation and initiative. I feel some of that has been influenced by me coddling him, not being as demanding as I should be. He is responsible for his actions entirely, of course, but I'm afraid I make life too easy for him.

He is 18 years old, will be 19 in November. He dropped out of high school about a year ago. He has been employed twice in the past 18 months (more or less), both times for a fairly short period. After he got himself fired from the last job he has not earnestly looked for work. He will deny that. Yes, he's looked for work, but not earnestly. He doesn't want to work.

He also hasn't done anything significant about getting his GED. He talks a big talk, but there's nothing to show for it. There are a few different places in town he can go to get ready for the GED. At least one of them is free. There is a cost for the test, and his current excuse is that he doesn't have the money to register for it. It all boils down to the fact that he just hasn't made much effort.

So what does he do if he's not working or going to school? Mostly, he stays up all night playing video games or the card game Magic. Then he sleeps most of the day. Occasionally he'll do a bit of his and C's laundry, and he likes to cook. He baked a few pies last night, and left some of his dirty dishes in the sink. Recently he hasn't been leaving as many dirty dishes in the kitchen. But he doesn't thoroughly clean when he's finished, either.

S is cute and charming, but that doesn't go far enough in real life. His greatest talent is making excuses. He's very good at it. And I get so frustrated with him that I often don't know how to respond.

We have a counter in our laundry room for the purpose of folding clothes. Mostly what happens, though, is that stuff gets pulled out of the dryer and piled on the counter to wrinkle and get dusty. It had gotten pretty bad again, so I had Diva and Sproing clean off the kitchen table, then Superman told S and the young'uns to get everything off the counter and take it to the table, where they were then to fold it all. All of them. S dug through the pile and got his things, then tried to escape to his room. I told him he needed to help fold all of it. He argued and made excuses, saying that over half of the stuff in the pile had been theirs, so most of it he was going to fold in his room.

That wasn't my point. I want for him to take a more active role in household maintenance. He needs to make a larger contribution. Not just to take care of "his" stuff, but to help out throughout the place. He needs to earn his keep, basically.

Remember the thing about them paying rent? Guess what. They didn't pay the $50 they owed on the 21st of last month. S mowed the yard, and we took that in exchange for $15 of it. Superman said that on the remaining $35 there will be interest, compounded daily. (I don't remember how much) What they plan to do right now is pay for last month, this month ($75) and next month ($100) all at once when C gets his college loan check. That is supposed to arrive on the 15th, a week from Monday. That's NOT the way it's supposed to work out. The plan was for them to get serious about looking for gainful employment, not to pay us with borrowed money. And really, only C got real worried when we started charging rent. S didn't seem to care much. I don't know his true feelings, but I saw no change in his actions, so what does that mean?

But I digress. Here's where I need some specific advice. Tonight when I was arguing with S about folding the clothes, he got all sassy with me. He said I am not his mother. I said no, but you are living in my house. He said "don't patronize me," and the next words he spoke to me were patronizing. I pointed out that he is neither working nor continuing his education, therefore he needs to be more involved working around here. And then he had the gall to accuse me of sitting around doing nothing! I said to my husband, who was in the room also, I said "Honey? Did you hear that!?" He turned and laughed at S, and said "No, no, you do not understand." I don't remember exactly what he said after that, but the upshot is that S went in to help the other kids fold clothes. I'm steamed.

And shocked beyond words. How do I respond to that? OMG. I don't think it necessary to defend myself. It is true, for the last few months I haven't been very active around the house. I've been on the computer, blogging mostly, since I quit driving the bus last spring. I've also had a mild nervous breakdown or two. I'm looking for myself. I've spent the last 25 years working to raise these kids and care for this family. Who the hell is he to question my activities when he is living in my home under my good graces??

Superman has been chewing on this as well. He just informed me that he's decided S will mow the lawn, front and back, every week. And he will clean up the kitchen every day.

Honestly, I don't think I should defend myself against S's accusation that I am not doing anything. It is totally beside the point. A diversionary tactic of his. What do you think? Besides which, just this week I have begun to be more active around here. He isn't aware that I applied to Lander. And I'm not going to parade that information out just to show I've not been idle. OMG. The gall. And I'm rambling again.

In summary:

How should I respond to his accusations and excuses?
Should I defend my recent level of activity?
What next?

Morning conversation with a teenager

2008-09-05T10:55:00.006-04:00

It's almost time to leave for school. I look at Twitch and say
"Do you have a comb or a brush?"
"No. Do I need to brush my teeth?"
"Have you brushed your teeth?"
"Yes."
"Do you have a hair brush?"
"NO!"
"Well, go into my bathroom and use my brush."
"Why?"
"You need to brush your hair."
"Why?"
"Because it looks disheveled."
"I like it this way."
"Just go brush your hair."
"Who's going to care what my hair looks like?"
"I do."
"So?"
"So, I'm the one who's taking you to school."
[Look of dismay and a gutteral "humph"]
[Goes down the hall]
[I eat my toast and sip my coffee]
[Returning, says with a sarcastic flair]
"Is this better?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"I look like a damn dingleberry."

I DID IT!

2008-09-04T13:46:00.001-04:00

[Java],
Congratulations! Your application has been received and processed. We're excited about your interest in earning a second degree at Lander University. You are welcome to log back in and keep tabs on the status of your application anytime.
Please have your college transcripts from any and all previous colleges sent to Lander.

Looking for myself

2008-09-03T14:11:00.012-04:00

I have a love/hate relationship with the excuse "I'm trying to find myself." On one hand, it has been used as a sorry excuse for shirking responsibilities. On the other hand, there is some truth in the need to learn to listen for the whispers from one's soul (or from the Deity) in order to fulfill one's purpose in life.

And a life's purpose changes over time. Of the things I have given great attention to in the past 10-20 years, some of those responsibilities are no longer relevant in my life. There is more out there I need to do, and can do. And should do.

I feel I haven't been fulfilling my potential as a strong, intelligent woman. I drove a school bus for 3.5 years. But I graduated magna cum laude with a degree in Sociology a few years back. (OK, 22, but who's counting?) I'm intuitive, sympathetic, creative, don't run with scissors and play well with others. I should be using my talents better than I have been. With my oldest children out (or almost out) of the public schools, and my youngest now old enough to be more responsible (if only they will), the time seems right to move onward and upward.

It's a bit frightening.

Part of the needed change is to see myself as more than "just" a wife, mother, homemaker.* I need to envision myself as more mature, perhaps professional, as one who can carry her own in the company of strong, intelligent, influential people. I need to get out more!

And I'm trying. I told you about volunteering with the community theatre. The lovely woman who told me about that opportunity invited me to a lunch meeting of the Greenwood Women's Forum. Yep, a women's club/group. Ugh!! However, this is a fairly small group (20 maybe?) of local professional women who gather once a month for lunch and an informational talk about something happening in the community. I think. Last month they heard a presentation from the art director of the community theatre. Today the executive director of the Art's Council gave a talk about what's going on in the arts in Greenwood. Yes, I went. It was lovely! I enjoyed myself! I'm as shocked as anyone!

As an interesting juxtaposition, the Greenwood Woman's Club (note name difference) also met today. I read about it in today's paper. This is what the Greenwood Index-Journal had to say about it. From the "Community Calendar" column:

11:30 a.m. - Greenwood Woman's Club, luncheon catered by Aramark Food Services (Lander University). Lillian Holschen, of Doncaster Apparel of Newberry, presents "Don Yourself in Fall Classics."

I did not go to that meeting. Those are the kinds of women's clubs I avoid. It just isn't my kind of group.

*Not that there's anything wrong with that. Or that those roles aren't incredibly important.

addendum

2008-09-01T22:25:00.003-04:00

I took a nap. Woke up feeling more rested. Went to the kitchen to "do" supper. There was a variety of food, from onion soup to chocolate chip cookies. Twitch had made the cookies, S had made the soup. Everyone in the house was in the kitchen once I arrived. It was a happy chaos, but chaos nonetheless.

We began the clean up. S and Superman and I did most of it. I was trying to prepare for some baking tomorrow, and I had trouble finding things I need. Superman was putting away the food, and had trouble finding things he needed. Stuff wasn't put in the right place, things had been left out, dirty. Consumable products had been consumed without our knowledge. Empty boxes were left in the cabinets, giving a false sense of existence.

There is a box of zip-closure bags in the cabinet. But wait, it's just the box! No bags inside. Where did all our bags go? Superman just got a big box of bags very recently. There were a lot in here. Where did they all go? How is he going to put away the (whatever it was he wanted to put away)?

Dammit, why can't I just go into the kitchen and do what I need to do? I can't even walk into the laundry room right now because there are plastic hampers full of clothes all in the way. I'm too old for this sh!t. I try to get out there and participate in the opperation of this household, but everything I try to do ends up costing so much extra effort to do. I get very frustrated. And flustered. And stressed. And I lose focus. And I come back in my room and hide while the chaos out there increases.

And then I blame myself for not keeping a closer handle on things, not effectively managing the household. That is my job, right? To keep order and take care of home and family? I don't do that well. Frankly, I suck at it. Then the voice in my head (not literal. Don't call the straight jacket forces on me) begins to tell me that I'm a failure, which means I'm worthless. I can now recognize the voice, and know he has a distorted concept of truth. This is huge progress, really. I should be very glad of that.

Anyway, I'm very, very tired again. I'm going to get ready for bed now. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Everyone goes back to school tomorrow, including C, so that increases my chances of having a peaceful morning.

Goodnight

Briefly

2008-09-01T14:58:00.002-04:00

Quick update here. Too tired to go into detail. Plan to give more detail later.

Ruby-
Superman had a chance to examine her body in the light of day Saturday. He found no evidence of any physical trauma. No scrapes, no smudges of dirt or grease, no obvious broken or misaligned bones. So we now suspect she had a stroke or heart attack while she was out sniffing around in the evening air. We gave her a very nice burial in the backyard Saturday. It was helpful for me, anyhow. I may say more about it later, I don't know. Too tired right now.

C in the jailhouse-
He was arrested at approximately 11:00 Friday night, was finally released around 3:00 Saturday afternoon. He and S spent a little bit of time with their friends and the other mom who is involved in their life right now, and got home about 7 or 8 Saturday night. C and I had a good hug, which we haven't done in a while. Relations have been tense for a while. He told me all about the experience. I may give details later. Too tired now.

Light-
...was home for the weekend. She picked up her new spectacles. When I saw her after she returned home I couldn't tell she had new glasses at first. They look so similar to the pair she's had for 3 years. Well, except the nose bridge isn't broken and superglued back together. They also don't sit crooked on her face. That was the hardest to get used to. She's looked through crooked glasses for so long that the distortion has become normal. The new ones, sitting straight on her face, gave her a distorted view. She was having trouble walking through the yard because of the distortions. It was kinda funny.

I drove her back to school yesterday afternoon. We stopped by TC's house on the way. That was nice. If you recall, Superman and I were supposed to stop by and see her on our way back from taking Light to school last week, but Sproing's concussion nixed that plan. It was a long trip to school, with the detour and all, and I didn't get home until 9:30 last night, after driving most of the way back from college town in the rain. I was very tired.

Tired-
I was tired Saturday. Friday night was a very late night, what with my life falling down around me once again. I tried to go to bed early Saturday night, but was foiled in my attempt at least 3 times, so it was close to 11:00 when I got to sleep. But then I woke up at 4:30 Sunday morning. I don't know why. I took a brief nap before Light and I left, but it wasn't much. I stayed online until after 2:00 this morning, don't know why. I slept until 11:00 today, but have been very sleepy since I woke up. It is 3:30 now. The Braves are tied 3-3 with the Marlins in Miami at the top of the 9th. I like baseball. I like the sound, the modulation of the announcers' voices. It is calming, soothing. Baseball is not an action packed game. It's more about strategy, psychology, physics. I can sleep through psychology and physics. Nap time.

An upsetting evening

2008-08-30T01:30:00.000-04:00

I have two items of bad news, and I'm not sure which one to share first. I'll tell you in the order Superman told me.

Our dog Ruby died. She was outside for her late evening constitutional and was evidently hit by a car. There are no obvious signs of blunt trauma on her body, but her neck appears to be broken. I think it was quick and relatively painless. She was an old girl, about 15, and in poor health. Her hearing and sight were just about gone, and the way she moved indicated she had arthritis. She has not been very comfortable for months now. This is an ugly way for her to go, but in a way I'm relieved she's out of her misery. It was soon going to be time to consider putting her down. The decision has been taken out of our hands now. May she rest in peace.

C is in jail tonight. What I heard was that he was riding in a car with two or three other friends and they were pulled over by law enforcement for speeding. One of the guys in the car had been smoking pot and the officer smelled it. So all of them were arrested and taken to the county lock-up. S said C hadn't been smoking pot, and he's probably telling the truth. The law in this state is written such that in these situations, everyone gets arrested. I don't know what will happen. S has gone to spend the night with one of his friends, and I think the friend's mother will take them down there tomorrow and see what can be done. I have no earthly idea what to do or think. I fear, though, that C will lose his state scholarship. We have an "education" lottery, and he is/was receiving scholarship money for at least part if not all of his tuition. I know that he could lose the scholarship, but don't know the law well enough (at all) to know the details of what exactly has to happen for it to be taken away. Does he need to be convicted? If so, of what? If he wasn't imbibing in the drug himself, what exactly can they arrest him for besides suspicion?

Anyway, there are a lot more questions than answers right now, and my brain is reeling from the onslaught of grievous news. That is all.

Let's see what comes out of my fingers tonight

2008-08-29T22:15:00.004-04:00

Went to college town to pick up Light for the weekend. I know, we just took her back to school on Sunday. She had an eye exam (passed with flying colors, of course) the week before she went back to school. She ordered new glasses, but they didn't come in until after she left for school. So she's back to get her spectacles.

I was online briefly this morning, but was in a rush to get out of town and did nothing but zip through my email. Didn't answer all the emails I wanted to. When we got home this evening I was eager to check the blogs. But alas, my computer wouldn't connect! Superman to the rescue!! He called tech service for our ISP, something else I think, and finally got tech support for D-Link. That was the magic number. After quite a while on the phone he finally got it working. He says he had to download some new firmware for the router. Thankfully our desktop was online. So I'm online again, thanks to my wonderful Superman!

Which is ironic. Because we had a discussion last night. A discussion about the time I spend sitting here blogging. He thinks I'm spending too much time here at the expense of my responsibilities to home and family. Frankly, he isn't wrong. It was an interesting discussion. We actually laughed a lot. The upshot, though, is that I need to figure out how to manage my time better. Be more responsible. Exercise self discipline. Not easy stuff for me. Stay tuned to see how successful we are at this adventure in self restraint.

I've been watching the Atlanta Braves get their butts beaten by the Washington Nationals. It's embarrassing. I like baseball. I like it even better when my team plays well.

"So," you may be asking, "what's up with Sproing these days?" I'll tell you. He's a stinker. His forehead is still slightly sensitive to the touch, but he's otherwise fine from his bonk on the noggin. He is experiencing some allergy symptoms, though. The nose is snuffly, eyes are watery; you know the drill. He really is uncomfortable, and I sympathize. We've been medicating him as best we can. This morning he woke up with a sore, hoarse throat and a slightly croupy cough. He played it up well, sounding so pathetic. So his dad and I decided to keep him home from school. He barely managed to hide his glee.

Superman went to work, I took the other kids to school, then went to Le Grand Retail store and the gas station. When I got home the poor pathetic child was eating a bowl of cereal and watching TV. I brought a small package of muffins from the store and shared a couple with him. (I got those adorable little mini-muffins.) He took one and popped the whole thing in his mouth, then asked for more through the crumbs on his tongue. Eh. He doesn't look too sick to me. I came back to my room to spend what little time I had left of the morning to be online. He came bounding into my room, nagged at me, then jumped up on my bed and began to bounce. I said "Sproing, go get dressed. I'm taking you to school." Oops. He didn't even fuss too much. I think he got bored here alone, just the 1.5 hours he was here. So I took him to school and I'm proud of myself for doing so.

Randomness

2008-08-28T01:00:00.003-04:00

Why isn't frightening spelled like lightning?

Giraffes are my favorite wild animal, elephants being a close second. I'm also rather fond of the large land tortoises.

Sometimes I think I'm too sensitive for my own good. When my friends grieve, I grieve.

We've had a couple of days of rain. The rest of the Fay system seems to be slowly passing over us. The rain is good, we desperately need it. Humidity is high, the days are damp and heavy. It feels very tropical. Temperatures are a good 10 degrees lower than they have been, with highs in the mid 80s and little or no sun. Except for the humidity, it would be almost comfortable.

But my indicator tells me summer is not over. The water coming from the cold water tap is still tepid, not cold. This is yet another thing I don't like about The South.

No, I still haven't applied to Lander U. for spring semester.

This evening I watched The Women for the first time. I can certainly understand why it is a gay classic! If ever you want a lesson on how to be a catty bitch, this movie will show you how.

Superman has another case of shingles. By that I don't mean he has a box of roofing material. Have I mentioned his shingles episodes before? The poor dear has been suffering shingles outbreaks for years now, usually when he is under stress and over tired. This time it is manifesting as pain along his right side from just above the knee to the armpit. It hurts to touch it. It hurts to not touch, it, too. He saw the doctor today and got a prescription for Valtrex. He gets so tired when he has a shingles episode. I think the pain wears him out.

I had another chance to feel old today. I was waiting at the pharmacy for a prescription to be filled. As I sat in their uncomfortable chair a fairly sexy bear came in to pick up his meds. He wore baggy cargo shorts and an unremarkable t-shirt. He didn't seem particularly tall, but wasn't short. He was packing a few extra pounds, not much, enough to make him snuggly. He had a scruffy beard that looked like the work of maybe 3 weeks growth, and it was shaped to cover much of his face. He had a small tat in the center of his left calf. I thought he might be in his early to mid 30s. When the pharmacy cashier pulled his meds, she asked him for his birthdate. He answered (number/number)1980.

1980 is the year I graduated high school. 1980 was two years before I met Superman. 1980 was 28 years ago, which seems like a long time. But in 1980 I was 18 years old, certainly old enough to procreate. This young man standing at the pharmacy counter was young enough to be my son. He looked way too old to be my son!

Yesterday would have been my Grandmama's 102nd birthday. She has been dead for about 11 or 12 years now. I miss the old girl.

That is all. Thank you.

Pride Celebration begets Blog

2008-08-27T01:00:00.001-04:00

"Lesbian hair cut" sounds like a good name for a song or poem. I would link to the post where I got that idea, but he's afraid of my spam-stalker, so I won't.

Sproing is doing well. The bump on his head isn't noticeable anymore. The whole forehead is slightly puffy, but there is no specific bump like there was Sunday. He still had a headache yesterday, but it's gone today.

Some of you asked how Sproing managed to knock his knoggin. I'll tell ya'. He was running. (I bet you guessed that.) The kids like to run circles around the perimeter of the house. The back yard is fenced in, and on the driveway side there is a large double gate wide enough to drive a truck through. I know. I've driven a truck through it. On the other side of the house are the bedrooms. The side yard there is maybe 15 feet wide, and the air conditioner box (whatever that thing is called) is over there. The fence on that side has a small gate in it. Sproing was running through that side of the yard, heading for the narrow gate. He looked behind him for some reason (I'm not real clear about that part of the story) and turned back just in time to run face first into the metal gate post. He says he fell down and had to lie there for a few minutes. I've heard that Diva found him and brought him inside. I suspect Diva was chasing him and that's why he turned around in the first place. But I really don't know.

I'm getting excited about the advent of September. August is usually one of my two worst months of the year. February is the other. This August has been long, but the dreariness was interrupted by interesting interludes. Superman and I went camping without the kids earlier this month. School started and I mostly have days to myself now. I get to blog! I check on my blog buddies, and I feel more connected with people now than I have in past years. It has been raining for the last couple of days. This is a welcome break from the searing sunshine of earlier in the month.

Last August was hot and miserable (as most Augusts are around here). Early in the summer I had applied for a job in the library at Lander U. I was hoping to get that job, as it would put me in a challenging academic environment and keep me inside in climate controlled comfort. My other option was to continue driving the bus for another year. August on an un-air conditioned school bus is, to put it mildly, 3 degrees hotter than hell, and just as unpleasant. I found out 3 weeks before school began that I did not get the job at Lander. It was all I could do to psych myself up to get back on the bus. I was depressed. I had no outlet for intellectual stimulation in my life besides my husband and eldest daughter. And Eldest Daughter was about to head off to college for her freshman year. It was a bleak time.

All this came to pass. It was hot, I was driving the school bus, Light was away at school. September came around heralding South Carolina Gay Pride Celebration toward the end of the month. I forget exactly when, but it was in September. I'd been learning about homosexuality for just over a year, and still the only gay people I knew were a few of the teenagers living in my house and a couple of their friends. None of my gay acquaintences was over 22 years old. I knew I needed a more mature perspective on The Gay. I was excited about Pride.

We went. S and C and Sproing and I. (Superman got sick, if I recall, and I took Sproing to keep him out of his dad's hair. Not the best move I could have made, considering where we went, but we do what we must and it wasn't at all bad.) Sproing and I left to come home around dinner time, but S and C stayed until very late and enjoyed a lot more of the festivities. The boys said it was good that I took Sproing away. The evening brought a new level of bawdiness to the picnic. The crowd was very family friendly during the day.

That was the first time I had seen gay couples openly affectionate in public. There was PDA all over the place!! It was wonderful! (As I said, all quite appropriate during the day.) I had learned enough, become comfortable enough with the idea of homosexuality, that when I went to Pride in Columbia last year it all seemed so good and right to see same sex couples wandering all over the park. Ironic, perhaps, but I felt so comfortable, so at home among the gay majority in the park that day. I realized I had in a sense become more gay. I'm heterosexual, and I don't pretend to know what it is like to live as a homosexual in this society. But I had embraced The Gay so much that being in a park full of gay people felt more natural to me than being in any other group of random people anywhere else.

Then I left the Pride celebration and came home. Back to Greenwood. Back to hidden homosexuals. I was empty, but more eager than ever to meet real, live gay people. They are hidden in Greenwood. Where the hell do I find them?

Then it hit me. The Interwebz! I'm an old lady, you know, and it isn't yet natural for me to immediately go to the internet when I wonder about something. I'm getting better. Google is my friend. Google is my homepage.

So I Googled. And I discovered blogs!!! The first one I remember seeing was Michael in Norfolk. I commented or emailed, I don't remember which, and he wrote back. We had a little dialogue going. I asked questions, he had answers. I checked out his blog roll. I found other great blogs. Each of those blogs had blog rolls. And interesting commenters. I clicked link after link. I discovered some I didn't feel very comfortable with. I didn't go back to those. :) But OMG!! I discovered a whole new HUGE world full of gay men (and a few women).

I read blogs for a few weeks. I commented. (I like to spread my opinions around. I have so many to share!) In the beginning I think I asked more questions than anything. But it got to the point pretty soon that I was writing very long comments on other people's blogs. It was time to start my own. So I did.

It's not my blog's anniversary yet, and this subject seems more appropriate for that occasion. But I was thinking about these things today, and this is where my train of thought brought me. So here it is.

Refreshing

2008-08-26T11:00:00.002-04:00

Today is garbage day. The garbage guys come by and tote our trash away. Our lovely little puppy, Ruby, is getting so old that she doesn't bark at them anymore. I don't know if it's because she can't hear them now or that she just doesn't care that much.

So this morning I spent some time emptying the trash. I don't know about you, but I feel better.

This or that

2008-08-25T00:53:00.009-04:00

I want to go into more detail about what was said at Sproing's therapy session on Friday. But I won't do that right now.

Because it has been a busy weekend. Well, really, I think it's only today that was busy. A lot happened today. Let me tell you a little bit about it. (By "today" I mean Sunday. Technically it's now Monday, but I haven't been to sleep yet, so I consider it still Sunday.)

Light moved back into the dorm today. She packed up her stuff over the last week or so. She and her dad got it all crammed in the back of the van yesterday. We left home this morning, Superman, Light, and I, at about 8:15 to head up to her college town. It takes about an hour and 15, maybe 25 minutes to get up there. This morning we stopped at the big Krispy Kreme place to meet one of her roommates before going over to the college. I only mention this because, Oh. My. God. Are you familiar with the phrase Hot Fresh Now? Wow! Warm delicate doughnutty goodness with a sugar glaze. There are no other words.
But that's not what I came to tell you about. I just got distracted. I mean, aren't they gorgeously shiny?

We went to the college, found a tactical unloading position, and began to empty the van of everything Light-related. I stayed with the van and unloaded stuff to the lawn near the sidewalk. Light and Superman were the runners. It took a long time but not long at all (depending on one's perspective and the angle of the sun) to get everything up to her room. I sweated. It was horrible.

Finally got up into the air conditioned goodness of her room. She is in a triple this year. She and her roommate from last year (Monkey, you may recall) are joined by a third girl and are in an entirely different dorm on the other side of the campus. Much farther from most of her classes in the art department (boo) but situated between the student center and the dining hall (yay).

There we all were, Light and her two parents, Monkey and her two parents, and the third roommate. (I'll not name her, rather give Light the opportunity to find a moniker to fit the young lady) And one or another of various friends who dropped by added to the population of a rather small area. There was much discussion about proper arrangement of the furniture, mostly between the two mothers. Though I told the girls I realized that whatever wonderfully efficient arrangement of this furniture, I know they will move things to fit their purposes after we leave. Light, the darling, has learned to humor her mother for a time, and make changes when I'm not there. It's like a game we play.

In the midst of all this, as I'm sitting on one of the beds trying to stay out of the way, my phone rang. It was S, telling me he was concerned about Sproing. This surprised me because S usually tires to avoid Sproing as much as possible. It is better for S's blood pressure that way. I moved to a quieter area so I could hear this.

I learned that Sproing had hit his head pretty hard and was showing a sizable knot on his forehead. I prescribed ice, 15 minutes at a time, every half hour or so. But wait, says S, he's acting kind of strange. Like he's in a stupor. He's acting tired, and wants to go to sleep. Oh oh. Red flag. "Don't let him go to sleep!" I had S check the boy's pupils. Are they the same size, or is one more dilated than the other? Uneven pupil dilation. Oh, boy. I told S to wait by the phone, I'd call him back. I informed Superman of the events unfolding at home. Major change of plans afoot. We quickly said our goodbyes to Light and the other girls, ran out to the van, and I tried to get the doctor on the phone.

He finally answered his page, and I told him the symptoms I'd been told. He said to get the boy to the ER right away. Well, here at home we have my wonderful truck Manny, and the only two people who know how to drive him are in the van on their way back from college town. Also in our driveway is the Escort station wagon (old model year) that C and S own. It's down for the count. Inoperable. Oops. I had Twitch go next door to ask the sweet little old widow woman if she would be kind enough to drive Sproing and Twitch to the hospital. Blessed lady, she agreed.

By then we were away from the city and almost on the interstate. It's amazing how long the drive is from there to here when one is in a hurry and we catch every damned red light between the college up there and the hospital in Greenwood!!!

We got to the hospital and into the treatment room where my darling sons were playing together so well! They played rock/paper/scissors in between visits from the medical people. The doctor came in to talk to me, said that Sproing is OK. The concussion is mild. He can go to school tomorrow. Tylenol for the headache is a good idea. Ice on the noggin knot for 15 mintues every few hours will help reduce the swelling. Relief :)

I got to fill out the registration information and sign those papers right before the nurse came with the discharge papers and instructions for follow up care. Sproing was pretty much finished by the time we got there. So we all went out to lunch, as none of us had eaten since mid morning and it was now 3:00 in the afternoon. (1500 hrs)

The original plan had been for Superman and me to spend a little time alone, like kinda on a date sort of thing, then stop by to visit our new friend TC (who we met on our camping trip a couple of weeks ago) on the way home. We got home from our after-hospital lunch about the time we were supposed to meet TC. I called her and explained, then turned on my computer. I've been here reading blogs ever since. And did you look at the time? I have to get to sleep!! Why do you keep me up so late?

Updatey Stuff

2008-08-23T03:00:00.001-04:00

Yes I did go to the volunteers meeting at the theater. Sproing asked me why I had to go out. I told him I need to meet other adults. I don't think he understands. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

The meeting was fun. I was the only newby. I saw a couple of people I have known from around town, seen before, or have otherwise been remotely associated with. Most of the folks there I'd never met. Somewhere between 15 and 20 people were in attendance. I had the best talk with a very elderly gent named... I forget. Cliff, maybe. He was quite engaging. Another fellow I just saw from across the stage (we met up on the stage) had what I believe is a Scottish accent. Don't know his story. He and his older teen age (or early 20s) son were there together. The second in command of this operation is a slight thin man, approaching middle age. It's difficult to tell his age. I'm sure I've seen him from time to time, but can't remember where. He is the only one who pegged my gaydar meter. Kinda swishy, but subtle. We shall see. Seems nice.

I signed up to work with costumes. This is community theater. If you know anything about community theater, you are aware that they desperately need volunteers to help out in just about any and every way. I heard some task descriptions that I could probably do well, and others in which I would like to gain experience. I restrained myself from volunteering for anything besides the sewing. I figure as I get more comfortable with the people, with the way the operation works, and my limitations, I may step up and help in a few other areas. I just didn't want to jump in over my head at the first meeting. I have been known to do that, believe it or not.

Diva was under the impression that I was going for a job interview, that I would be getting a new job, for pay and everything. I had to disillusion the poor child. Then today I talked with Sproing about it. He seemed flabergasted that Iwould do something like this and not get paid!!!

Sproing did much better today. I slept through the entire morning routine, not waking until they had been in school for over 2 hours. So I didn't see Sproing pitching any kind of fits before school today. And I didn't ask. Ignorance is bliss.

I picked the boy up early from school to take him to his therapy appointment. We only had a half hour slot. We needed much more! We have another appointment next Tuesday for an hour long session. The therapist also said if things get as bad as they were earlier this week, I should call the office and she would squeeze us in somewhere. She was perhaps a bit distressed that I hadn't called when things were falling apart early in the week.

There was a lot of discussion between the therapist and me. Sproing was not very active in the session. He talked to me more afterwards though.

I want to tell you about our discussion, but I'm too tired now. Deity willing, I will elaborate further in the next day or two.

Appointments and Disappointments

2008-08-21T09:51:00.017-04:00

You know I don't get out much. This town doesn't have a very large or active cultural community. I've mentioned before that I would like to move away from here. My therapist is trying to get me to find the local community in which I can be comfortable. Her reasoning is since I'm stuck here for now, I might as well make the best of it. The best of it can be much better than what I currently know. The idea of attending Lander University is part of that plan. I have yet to fill out the application. I'm gonna do that soon, really. Ask me about it. Keep me accountable, please. That's one of my shortcomings.

A friend of mine forwarded an email to me yesterday notifying me of an opportunity to get involved in something interesting. It said:

Can you pass this on to anyone who might want to be part of our sewing team at the GCTheatre? I am working with some of our volunteer leaders and would love to have you involved. We are having a Volunteer Party and a short planning meeting at the Theatre tomorrow night (Thursday Aug 21) from 6-7ish/7:30ish. Please drop by if you can.

I believe I'll go. I like to sew, am fairly good at it, and don't take the opportunity to do it very often. And I think this will be very good for me. My friend said "...if you don't already know her, bet you would LOVE [the artistic director]. She is really smart, funny & down to earth, like you!" This is about as much theatre as we have in this town. If I want to meet local gays, this is probably one of the best places to do it, eh? ;) More than that, though, it will get me out of the house, away from the computer, and force me to interact with people! (Not that you aren't people. I just need to see some other live faces occasionally.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another harbinger of fall: spiders. Superman and the kids were cleaning up some of the junk in and near the back yard yesterday. They turned over a large piece of something and Superman found a huge black widow spider! He reports she was at least 1.5 inches across. He gently picked it up (with a stick, not with his bare hands) and relocated it to the very back of our lot, behind the old tool shed. I wish he had told me about it before he moved it. I would love to have taken a picture of her.

You may wonder why he moved her instead of dispatching with her altogether. Spiders can be very useful. They eat other undesirables. Black widow spiders are not aggressive, but tend to leave people alone as long as people leave them alone. And if we tell the kids there is a huge black widow spider behind the tool shed they are more likely to stay way from there. Hey, maybe I should "put" spiders in a few other places around the house, just to keep the younger ones away from my stuff!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There seems to be a theme with me and Chicago. It goes as follows: I want to go to Chicago for some specific reason, but I am unable to get there. Yes, it has happened again. Superman and I were planning to go to Chicago the second week in September. There's a biennial trade show in town then, one that he's been to almost every other year since the 1980s. Every time he goes he says "I wish you were here with me, I (saw, did, ate, etc.) the most wonderful things!" This year was going to be my year to go. But alas, our plans are foiled again.

Part of the prohibitive issue is economic. You all know the story, and are living it yourselves. Gas prices are up, along with pretty much everything else. Yada yada, whatever. There is an even more pressing issue, though. Sproing. Oh, boy.

This is my lovely son. He is very special.

I mean that in a number of different ways. Some days he is short bus special. That's the way he's been acting ever since school started on Monday. Monday morning he woke up in a bad mood. This was not an ordinary "I don't want to do anything you say" bad mood. No, it was an "I'm going insane and taking you with me" bad mood. There was screaming, irrational thrashing, complete melt-down at the very idea of putting on shoes, for example.

And it keeps going. He was like that Monday after school. And Tuesday before school. And Tuesday after school. Yesterday morning Superman completely lost his temper after dealing with it for about half an hour. He (Superman) came into the bedroom, totally dejected, and claimed to be a failure as a father. Oh, do I ever know that feeling! I called Sproing into my room and had him sit on my bed. He couldn't sit. He sprawled, he thrashed, he dug his head under the covers. He was complaining of being too cold, of his finger being infected (it isn't, although he has a small but painful scrape on his pinkie knuckle. He then refused to let me put a bandage on it.) He thrashed around like a fish on the dock. Nothing I said could calm him down. I was very calm, addressed each issue he mentioned with a low, even voice. I told him I love him, offered a hug and a back scratch, neither of which he accepted. After about five minutes he said he wanted to go see Dad. I wouldn't let him out of my room until almost time for Superman to drive them to school. He flailed a bit more because I wouldn't let him loose.

Yesterday afternoon he was a little more under control. We talked calmly, and I told him how much I liked his calm behavior. Everything went well until we came to math homework. They are reviewing things he could do well last year, but his skills have gotten rusty over the summer. Since he doesn't remember exactly how to do it, he's frantic. It's impossible to help him when he gets frantic like that, because he can't hear a thing I say.

I'm not sure I am portraying his behavior adequately. When he does this thing, there is no getting through to him. He can't hear. Nothing makes any sense to him. It's ultimately frustrating! I fear there is something chemically or physiologically wrong with him. Twitch and I were wondering if he has a brain tumor or something. It's such strange behavior.

And I can't leave him with anyone when he acts like this. A substitute care giver would need to be a behavioral health professional to deal with this crap. Hell, I need to be a behavioral health professional to deal with it! (He sees his therapist tomorrow afternoon) We left Light in charge when we went camping a couple of weeks ago, and that worked out moderately well. But Light goes back to college this Sunday. Besides, Sproing was not freaking out like this two weeks ago. I'm not sure I would even leave him with Light right now. Light, I am positive, doesn't want me to!

We will talk to his therapist tomorrow. I plan to ask her if we should take him to the physician for a thorough check up. He used to see a child psychiatrist, but the only one in town moved to the Midwest this summer, so we no longer have a psychiatrist for him. I suppose we could go to one of the large cities within 100 miles of here. That would be a real drain, but we will do it if we have to. We shall see.

As a result of all this we will not be going to Chicago next month. ::Sigh::

The earliest signs of fall

2008-08-19T01:26:00.006-04:00

I've been moaning about how long and hot August is, despairing of fall ever arriving. Well, the Bradford Pear tree out front is shutting me up. Today as the late afternoon sun was lighting this side of the tree I noticed two small spots of red among the green canopy. Behold my first hint that summer will be over, fall will indeed come to the middle of nowhere, South Carolina.

Our temperatures haven't been as high this week, either. We didn't even see 90F degrees today. It was miserably humid. Sweat poured off anyone who exerted himself outside. But it wasn't quite as hot. Still, I'm glad I am not driving the bus now!

Bliss

2008-08-18T10:12:00.004-04:00

The children are at school. Ahhhhhh!

I got these gooey chocolatey caramel rolls to celebrate the day. Light is still here, but she sleeps late and is quiet and helpful. I shared one of my celebratory goodies with her. She is also very glad her siblings are at school today.

She's flashing a bit of thigh, there. Controll yourselves, boys and girls. :)

School starts tomorrow!!

2008-08-17T12:44:00.009-04:00

It has been a long summer. I am fit to be tied with my two youngest children.

Where did that expression "fit to be tied" originate? I have no idea. I learned it from my parents.

I'm trying to learn how to keep my emotions under control. Right now I am tempted to lose all patience and decorum with Diva and Sproing. They have been instructed to clean the living room and the kitchen. I was there with them for a while, trying to point out what needs to be done. I ended up just fussing at them.
Good mommy points:

I did not scream. I kept my voice firm and commanding without screeching or getting too loud.
I didn't touch either one of the. The temptation to spank was strong, but I kept my hands off of them because I am too angry to control myself

Sproing is grounded for all eternity because last week he stole money from my wallet, went across a busy 4 lane highway to buy himself some candy. He then lied to me about where he got the candy. That was last week.

Yesterday the two of them got into my truck, which was parked in the driveway. To give you perspective, our driveway slopes gently toward the back yard, and I back the truck into the parking spot. The kids said they wanted to sweep the driveway and needed the truck moved. That might be true, but they lie a lot. They got into the truck, released the parking brake, and were incredibly surprised when it began to roll. Diva jumped out of the truck and ran behind it to try to stop it. She's not very bright. Light happened to walk out the back door about then. Sproing heard the door close, so he jumped out of the truck and ran around to the front yard, removing himself from the scene of the crime. Light saw the empty truck slowly rolling toward the back yard. She jumped in the cab and set the parking brake.

Did I mention that school starts tomorrow?

But wait, there's more! Yesterday afternoon Diva went to spend some time with a friend of hers who lives about a 10 minute drive over toward the lake. She called the house late in the afternoon to ask if her friend could spend the night over here. Daddy said NO! The friend's dad brought Angel home around 8:30 last night. Somewhere in the chain of communication a lie slipped in. Angel and her friend told the dad she was able to spend the night. We didn't realize it immediately, because they sneaked in the house while we were otherwise occupied. The kids started getting ready for bed, told us they were fine and didn't need us to come check on them. I'm so naive. We gave them kisses and they went off to bed. It was only when they got loud half an hour later that Superman went to check on them. Lo and behold, who should he see in the room but this other sweet little girl!?

To complicate matters, as if they aren't complicated enough, we had a violent thunderstorm last night. We all like the lightning and thunder. It's energetic and thrilling. Of course this little uninvited guest is scared spitless. What a wonderful excuse to take the child home! Superman tried to call her home, but no one answered. So she ended up spending the night.

The darling's dad picked her up around noon today. He and Superman discussed what had happened with the purposeful miscommunication. I think Tinkerbell might be in some trouble, too. But let me tell you, Diva and Sproing are both in deep trouble! Sproing was in on the deal, and actually did a huge chunk of the lying when he talked to Diva on the phone yesterday and told her that Dad said "yes" when that was not, in fact, true. No sleepovers for either of them, here or at someone else's house, for the rest of the year. They are cleaning the living room and kitchen now and for the rest of the afternoon. I'm working them all day today. Bedtime is 7:00. I hope they had fun last night and this morning, because that's the last bit of fun with friends either of them will have for weeks. Grrrr.

But I didn't hit either of the, and my voice has remained at an almost normal conversational volume. And I had about 3 glasses of wine. We might take a nap this afternoon. :)

And school starts tomorrow. We'll get up at 6:00, get bathed, dressed, and fed. At 7:15 I will take them to the school. Happy joy!! They will walk home in the afternoon, probably not getting here until almost 3:00. Isn't that wonderful? I'm very excited.

I am blessed

2008-08-15T02:11:00.003-04:00

An old friend of mine sent one of those "pass it on" emails to me. I never pass these things on, especially if they implore me not to break the chain. Occasionally I will forward something I find particularly funny. But the message I got today was sappy with strong religious/political overtones and I deleted it. However, out of morbid curiosity I read the reward/warning message at the end of the propaganda.

Pass it on to everyone and pray. Something good will happen to you tonight at 11:11 PM. This is not a joke. Someone will either call you or will talk to you online and say that they love you.

Right. The thing is, I have people in my life who tell me they love me all the time. The people I live with, even the frustrating ones, tell me regularly that they love me. In the past 24 hours I have received personal emails, comments, and chat messages from a lot of different people, almost every one expressing love to me. Ironically, this old friend who forwarded this bit of tripe didn't add a personal comment at all, much less an expression of love or friendship. If I were really jaded I'd mention that she is a Christian, but I may be above that. Or not.

I am truly blessed. Blessed with a loving family and so many far-flung friends who have touched my life and my heart with love. To those of you; you know who you are - thank you.

A needful meme

2008-08-12T21:07:00.010-04:00

I saw this over on Uncle Zoloft's blog, and decided I need to see what I need. This is fun. Go ahead, try it yourself. Just go to Google and enter "(your name) needs" and see what pops up.

Java needs an overhaul - Is it that obvious?
Java needs closures - closures or closure? Either one works, I think
Who needs Java anyway? - Ha ha ha ha!! I'll let others answer that one!
Java needs more fertilizer - what, I'm not already full of enough shit?
Java needs to be open sourced - sounds kinky
Java needs perspectives to grow - a truer truth I do not know
Java needs a CRUD framework - look, it's nasty enough around here already
Java needs a Barista to join the team - obviously
Java needs to escape Sun's clutches - it has been too bright out here recently. My nose is sunburned.
Java needs our help! - Amen, brothers and sisters!!
Java needs all the help [she] can get - again, it's obvious
Java needs to be augmented with a distributed object infrastructure - huh? I don't know how to refute this, or even if I should.

Using the name "Java" makes this all the more interesting. I state my disclaimer right there in my profile in the sidebar that Java refers to coffee, not that geeky computer thing. A lot of the Google results of course are for the java computer language. I don't understand any of it. Java is also, as I mentioned, a slang word for coffee. But Java, especially when capitalized, is an island in Indonesia. There's a little bit of everything present in these results. I could have added a bunch more. There were about 898,000 results of my search.

Glad to be home

2008-08-11T10:25:00.005-04:00

A list of reasons I'm glad to be home:

Flush toilets in real bathrooms: At camp we had port-a-johns

Hot and cold running water

Shower facilities: I washed off with warm soapy water and a wash cloth, but had no shower or bath for 5 days. Ick.

Shampoo: Did not wash my hair the entire time I was gone. Double ick.

Climate control: Though it was quite nice, there were times in the middle of the day when it got a bit too hot. The sun was intense. It got quite cool at night, cooler than we prepared for.

My own mattress: memory foam, not inflated plastic. Big difference.

Scrambled eggs

Internet access

Reliable cell phone service: Verizon was the only service that had any signal, and that was spotty. Thankfully we use Verizon.

Eating from my plate without sharing with yellow jackets

The debriefing

2008-08-11T08:00:00.010-04:00

Well, we seem to have survived the camping trip.

Actually, for the most part it was quite wonderful. The weather was fantastic. Oh, and my tooth stopped hurting. I don't know what the deal was with that tooth, but it seems to be fine now.

We didn't arrive at camp until after dark on Wednesday. It's kinda tricky finding a spot to camp in the dark. This was not a commercial camp ground. No, it was a large field on the side of a mountain, surrounded by woods with sparse clumps of trees here and there. Shade was abundant and there were lovely open areas of meadow where one could bask in the warm sunshine. Except at night. At night it was just dark. It was dark the way nature is supposed to be dark. You know, with very little light pollution so watching the night sky was pleasant. I could see the thicker star clusters of the Milky Way. On Friday night I was outside for a while and saw a few meteors as well.

(These photos of the Conestoga on the truck are from my camping trip a couple of months ago. I didn't take any pictures this trip.)
When we arrived Wednesday night around 9:30-10:00 the sky was clear and the air was comfortably cool and dry. One of Superman's friends had arrived the day before, so knowing the lay of the land he helped us find a good spot to set up. We got the Conestoga assembled with a canvas drop cloth over it and one blue plastic tarp covering part of the canvas. I asked two of the fellow campers if they knew whether it was supposed to rain. Both of them looked up at the stars, looked back at us, and said "No." So of course it rained that night.

Yes, we got wet, but only our feet. Thursday morning we got up early and spread out another couple of tarps to keep our camper dry. It rained off and on most of Thursday. That was a bummer, but by the end of the day it cleared up, cooled off, and was beautiful the rest of the week. Thursday night was so much cooler that we were shivering under our sheet and thin blanket. On subsequent nights we used the canvas drop cloth folded in fourths as an additional blanket. That was warm enough.

There were a lot of people there!! This is an annual camp-out for this group, and our second year attending. This year attendance was up from last year.

The food was excellent! We provided our own breakfast and lunch, but dinner was prepared for us Thursday through Saturday. We had hamburgers and hot dogs, beans, chips, etc. on Thursday. It was good in the way hamburgers and hot dogs are good. Nothing spectacular. Until Friday night. The cook, a HUGE mountain of man-flesh*, slow roasted pork all day for some truly excellent pulled pork barbecue. It was roll-your-eyes, stand-in-line-for-seconds good. He roasted chicken quarters for Saturday's dinner. There were sides and such, too, for a complete meal each night. The evening meals were excellent.

We had access to fresh pancakes every morning. We were camped next to a family from Oklahoma. The man had a super sweet kitchen set-up with a large propane griddle. (similar to the one pictured here) He had a huge bag of pancake mix and fixed pancakes for everyone in camp who wanted some. Being right next to him, we had access to the hot pancakes and an opportunity to meet with the people who came for breakfast. It was fun!

This organization holds meetings and informational gatherings at these camp-outs. Friday night was a fireside chat moderated by one of the members. We discussed world events, specifically economics and the decline of the value of a dollar. 'Twas intellectually stimulating!! And you know how rarely that happens for me outside the blog world! I got in on the end of a demonstration of alternative medicine one afternoon and met a fascinating older woman who practices some of this. She's very sensible about it; doesn't avoid traditional medicine when that is appropriate, but tries to maintain general good health, physical and emotional, through healthy diet and vitamin combinations. She and her husband are interested and somewhat knowledgeable about healing touch/massage.

A friend of ours gave a demonstration on bee keeping that I wanted to go to, but I slept through it. I took a nap every afternoon we were there. It was wonderful!

Check this out, y'all. I made a new friend on Saturday. A real life, face to face, not virtual friend. A friend I first met in person, not someone I've ever communicated with online (yet). She (yes, a woman friend!! I don't have many of those) is a year younger than I am, never married single**, works in a college library in the same town (but not the same school) where Light attends college. She's a strong, independent, intelligent woman, a rare find in my experience. Her name is TC. She lives in a small town on the outskirts of Greenville, which is a little less than an hour from here (I think).

There were a few campers from Canada. I spent an hour or more Saturday morning talking to a really nice guy from Owen Sound, Ontario. He's a nurse there, and has done some work in the hospital psych ward, though he's typically on the medical ward. The conversation turned to lgbt and he told me about a good friend of his who is a lesbian. He sounded so much like me in a lot of ways. He loves hanging out with his lesbian friend because they enjoy the same kinds of things, and like to check out the sexy ladies together. He really enjoys watching her cruise the girls. But, like a typical guy, he was quick to point out that he is straight and is dating a really hot girl. Straight guys are so funny.

This is a fairly conservative group of people. Many of them observe Christian religious traditions. However, these folks are mostly gay friendly, at least the ones I've talked to. If not enthusiastically gay friendly, they are accepting and tolerant. For a bunch of conservatives they are really quite nice. Unlike the religious right fundie wackos around here.

*The guy is really big. He must be at least 6 feet tall, and I don't know where he finds clothes that fit. I'd guess he weighs probably 400 lbs. He could only sit on one of those really big 3' wide coolers. All camp chairs tremble with fright at his approach.

**I didn't get a lesbian vibe from her. Not real sure, especially since my lesbian gaydar isn't as reliable (except in obvious cases) as my m2m gaydar.

Adios

2008-08-06T13:47:00.005-04:00

According to Weather.com, the current temperature in town is 99F, with a heat index of 104. Poor ol' Superman has been out packing up the truck. He got sopping wet with sweat. Right now he's taking a cool shower. When he's dried and dressed we will head toward the mountains. From here it takes at least 2 hours to get to a high enough elevation to significantly affect the temperature. Of course old Manny doesn't have air conditioning. It'll be a rough drive. The sun is brutal in brightness and heat. I really hope the weather forecast for our camping location is correct. Current temperature there is 83F, heat index 86. Oh so much better!!! Forecast through the weekend is for high temperatures similar to or slightly lower than that. I am really looking forward to it!

News from the camp reports no internet access and very limited cell phone access. This will probably be good for me, a test to see if I can pretend to be normal without electronic connections to the outside world. That's the positive spin. On the other hand I'll miss you all terribly!

Wonder Woman

2008-08-05T01:02:00.004-04:00

I've been meaning to ask you about Wonder Woman. What's the allure? Is there some specific gay attraction to Wonder Woman? I've seen reverent references to her on a few gay blogs. (Hello, GayProf) Superman says "It's Linda Carter! Of course there's interest." Honey, that's a straight man's reason. For me, I'm envious of her waistline.

What about you? Is Wonder Woman near and dear to your heart? If so, why?

New Post

2008-08-02T19:52:00.003-04:00

I'd like to post something new here. However my thoughts are scattered and I don't have anything specific I can say without spending a lot of time and thought writing it all out. There are issues I want to address, places my brain is going that need some illumination. I don't want to spend the time doing that this evening. I have other things to do.

Superman and I are going camping next week. We'll be at a much higher elevation and a more northern latitude. Checking the weather forecast for the area I see that high temperatures are predicted to be a good 15 degrees (F) lower than what we've had around here this week. If the humidity is commensurately lower, I will be extremely comfortable. We are leaving the children here. I have high hopes for a lovely time.

We will not be entirely alone. It's a group camp out with a loose association of people with similar interests. Mostly it's Superman's area of interest. I sort of go along for the ride. You know how I feel about groups of people, right? We've discussed that here a few times. This association is big on togetherness. Camaraderie. All for one, one for all, I've got your back, etc. These are noble concepts. It works well for a group such as this. But, um, I don't feel comfortable that close to most people. And as far as I can tell, none of them is gay. You know how I'm all about the gay these days. So I am eager and hesitant to go on this adventure. I hate when I'm of two minds about stuff. It's complicated.

The best thing for me to do is put on my happy face, sit down with this lovely group of people, and find the similarities. I must get to know the individuals, learn what motivates him or her. I should reach outside my present area of concentration (some might say obsession) and connect to each person where our similarities collide. That would be the noble thing to do. That would be the grown-up thing to do. I should work on that attitude between now and Wednesday when we leave for the camp. Yep. I sense a need for chocolate. I'll add that to the list of necessities for the trip.

Well, what do you know? I seem to have found something specific to talk about! That often happens when I open this application and start moving my fingers across the keyboard.

Happy weekend, everyone.

On the other hand, Mama sometimes sends some good stuff

2008-07-31T17:46:00.003-04:00

This was in my inbox today.

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace. A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies , tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr ha fkin gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece