Vampire Hours

Berlin, Germany

2009-07-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

For a city that has a very dark and turbulant history, Berlin really has a lot of beautiful art, rich culture and friendly people around to make any trip well worth the effort.

The architecture is an interesting mix of old and new. After the city was practically destroyed many years ago, people began designing a lot of very modern structures amidst the existing historical buildings.

The city is also remarkably green and clean, with countless small parks and restaurants scattered throughout the city almost every couple of blocks. It really makes walking around quite relaxing and encourages you to keep going or just to sit on a bench for a few minutes to sip a tasty beverage and admire the greenery.

But, one of the best parts of the city are the many historical buildings, statues, and art that you encounter along the way. It really is amazing how much detailed craftsmanship went into every structure that was created so many years ago.

And, as much as I prefer old architecture to modern, there really are some very nice newer creations out there that catch the eye.

Overall, it's a surprisingly beautiful and walkable city filled with great food, museums and courteous (and suprisingly reserved) people with a lot to offer. There is no shortage of sights to see or fun to be had.

You might even find, like I did, that a new bar will be opened in your honor while you're there.

I would have been happy with a free snack, but I appreciated their gesture none the less.

After staying out far later than we had planned, having to pack early in the morning and, during all of this, discovering that I had somehow deleted or lost my entire folder of photos from Berlin on my laptop (thankfully I had just uploaded these in the morning before we headed out), our flight back to Los Angeles yesterday went well.

Not sure what happened to my photos, but I plan to pay a little visit to the Geek Squad at Best Buy soon to see if they can locate them somewhere in the bowels of my Berlin-eating computer.

My laptop doesn't realize just how close it came to taking its own early morning flight right over our balcony...

For now, I'm just going to settle back into life in LA and catch up on stuff here at home.

Be it ever so humble...

Zzzzz Gallery

2009-07-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

This was my walk to the restaurant on the water that had internet a few days ago. You can see a giant church in the background...more about that in a minute.

It's 2 am and I'm blogging while listening to the soothing sounds of the Snoreman Tabernacle Choir (Edgar upstairs and Oscar downstairs). I so wish I could record it for you all to enjoy, but I can't...so you'll just have to imagine the lilting warble of wild animals with nasal blockage echoing loudly inside a vacant warehouse to get the full effect.

Although Edgar got wi-fi in his condo the second day here, we still enjoy walking over to this little restaurant for snacks, the view and relaxing. It's really an amazing place to sit, admire nature and fill your pie-hole.

Yesterday, we took a walk across the street to see the church. It dates WAY back and had, at some point, been hit by a bomb...which destroyed the roof and all the interior, leaving just the outer shell of the church behind.

Here is the view from the right side of the church (notice the missing roof).

Here is the view from the left side of the church (you can see the outline where the roof used to exist).

I love old churches and architecture, so it's sad to see such an amazing structure in such disrepair. However, it's still quite beautiful even in its current state. From the front of the church, you can see the back tower through a giant hole that used to be filled with stained glass.

There is also a beautiful angel statue on top of the church....I love me some angel statues! I wish they had smaller replicas of some of them for sale here in the city. They are stunningly detailed and life-like.

I have taken over 1,000 photos of Berlin alone in the past couple days (the rain finally stopped), so I hope to have some of those posted sometime tomorrow.

Berlin is really a very beautiful city and not at all what I expected. When you see the photos, you'll know what I mean.

Hmmm...the snoremen appear to be in sync at the moment.

I need to find my earplugs.

Bye, bye, bye.

Oh, we were supposed to see the leaning tower of Pisa before we left Italy last week, but we were running so far behind schedule there just wasn't time. Thankfully, I saw a replica of it here in Berlin...

I'm sure seeing it in person is just about the same as staring at a model of it in a small plexiglass box, right?

That's what I choose to believe anyway...

Party people

2009-07-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

Berlin has had rain and clouds since we got here. So, we haven't done much sightseeing yet. But, you know where it's not raining?

The bars.

So, Oscar, Edgar, Celio and I went out for drinks down the street. Beer is quite cheap here and we consumed mass quantities of it throughout the night.

Edgar and Celio left around 11:30, so Oscar and I decided to check out a nearby funky-looking bar called "Rose". And that's when Oscar met...

Helga.

Well, that's what we called her anyway. She was the bartender, but looked like she also might work in a German correctional facility. She gave you your drinks when she felt like it and you liked it!

Blucher!

We then made friends with a group of German kids in a booth and spent the rest of the night drinking and hanging out with them. They were very friendly, fun and could speak English too, which is always a pleasure.

The bar walls and ceiling were covered in fur and adorned with a variety of interesting props, tacky religious figurines and paintings, and lighting that would even make Barbara Walters comfortable.

Nothing says "Welcome to my bar" like a giant silver pistol on the wall.

Or a plastic moose head and floral mirrors (and no...I'm not pulling my undies out of my crack in this photo, although it does kinda look like it).

Around 3:30 am, the kids decided that we were going to be joining them for Karoake. Not tomorrow, or "sometime this weekend"...

NOW.

Most people know that I hate Karoake almost as much as going to the dentist. But, we are in Germany and had been properly liquored up by Helga...so, I just went with the flow.

We all piled into cabs and headed to a bar on the other side of town. When we got there, it was empty and I was praying that they would say "We're closed, get out ya' bastards".

But no...

They assigned us one of those Karoake rooms you see in every movie, gave us a song book, more drinks and then we spent the next hour butchering just about every pop hit that came up on the screen.

Around 5:00 am, we headed back to our side of town, de-cabed, said goodbyes, and walked back to Edgar's condo and crashed into bed (almost literally in our condition)

Good times.

Florence...not Henderson

2009-07-09T05:16:00.000-07:00

What a way to end the day...

After working all weekend at the castle, we were only left with one day to see all of Florence, which is really impossible. Oscar and the other four people on our team decided to drive to Rome (three hours away), rather than see Florence. Since I have already been to Rome, I decided to stay behind and see Florence on my own. So, I got my boots out (cause they were made for walkin'...and that's just what I planned to do) and prepared for the day in the city.

When I woke up, it was windy and POURING rain...so I put on long pants, took an umbrella and got on the train anyway. Thankfully, when I got into town, the rain had stopped and it started to clear up. It also got very hot and humid, which made me a very sweaty American mess for most of the day.

The city is full of so many churches, statues, historical buildings and wonderful restaurants...it's almost a cultural overload. You really need a couple days to see it all. But, I didn't have that...so I just kept pushing my sweaty tits through the crowds and enjoyed the sights along the way.

The three largest main structures in the city are the Piazza Duomo (a large church, dome and tower)...

The Palazzo Vecchio (a huge square with a vast selection of ginormous scantily clad detailed statues)...

As much as I wanted to go in and see the real statue of David...the line was just too long and I didn't have enough time to see that and the rest of the city. Thankfully, his stunt-double hangs out with the other statues here...so, that was free and allowed me to keep moving.

And, finally, the Biblioteca Nazionale (a giant library that I didn't have time to visit up close).

Along the way, I discovered that Betty Boop has obviously made a career change and is now a sassy waitress in a small cafe downtown. But, she was still very friendly looks like she hasn't aged a day.

I also saw a couple of mimes who were wandering around behind random tourists and doing what they do best...scaring and manhandling people, which amused the unstalked to no end. I waited a few minutes to see if anyone would punch one of them and, when they didn't...I sadly moved on.

This gold "historical figure" was not amused by the mimes either, because they were stealing attention away from him (people normally pay to have their picture taken with him), so he just brooded nearby smoking bitterly and turning away from people who tried to take his photo from afar for free (like me).

I ended my trip by walking up a very steep hill to a large lookout over the city. There is a big statue of some naked guy whose perky stone butt cheeks provided the only shade I had for a couple of hours while I waited for the sun to set and the city lights to come on.

Nearby, this young couple proceeded to vigorously makeout as if they had just reunited after several years apart (rather than just meeting the night before after many bottles of wine). It was sweet, romantic and annoying all at once...

While resting on the only stone seat near a breeze, a woman came over and asked if she could take a photo of the collection of padlocks that had been jabbing me in the back for the past twenty minutes. She then proceeded to tell me that people in love from around the world leave locks with their names on them attached to this area of the balcony fencing. The story says that people who "lock their love" above the city remain in love forever. Very romantic sounding, but not the most ergomatic back support for the lock-less visitors just trying to air-dry.

As the day begins to wind down, people start to gather along this set of large stone steps to eat, drink and watch the sun set over the city.

Then as the sun finally disappears, the city lights begin to come on...which provides a breathtaking view of the whole city and the river running through it.

It's a really a beautiful city and if you ever get a chance to come to Florence....do it.

I'm in Berlin, Germany now...so, soon I'll be donning my Lederhosen with camera in tow and venturing out.

More to come soon...

Storming the castle

2009-07-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

Here...kitty, kitty.

The reason Oscar and I came to Italy was to help his friend Edgar set up a wedding reception here in an a castle in Florence. So, we spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday putting things up (and then tearing them down and packing up the materials to be sent back to LA).

The castle is gorgeous and has all of the decor that you've seen in a thousand movies. Medieval design, lush gardens, stone architecture and statues akimbo.

They even make wine here...wish I could take a couple of these back with me to LA.

So, the past three days have been dedicated to focusing on the party. It's been very busy and we've all been functioning on small doses of sleep, but it was a lot of fun and well worth it in many ways.

We had to unload materials from a huge metal container that was shipped over, then take it to the castle (along with the other three members of our team, plus additional local helpers).

This is the rest of our main group, plus Monica the party planner (who is also the daughter of the Villa owners where we're staying). Monica and her husband, Max (on the right in the photo below), have also served as wonderful guides and hosts while we're staying here (they made both of the delicious meals for us the first two nights and have shuttled us around and given directions, rides and so much more.

They have been great during this very busy weekend.

Decorating a room, to many, sounds like a fairly easy job. It's just a large space, fabric and furniture all thrown together, right? Well, it takes a LOT of hard work by many teams of people to transform a room like this...

Into something festive and unrecognizable as this...

Here is a before picture of one of Edgar's round mirrored tables (with a cool reflection of the castle above), followed by the end result.

It's really amazing how all the materials, planning, design and grueling work all come together in the end. It really makes me appreciate, more than I already did, how many skilled and talented people it takes to put an event together.

Everything worked out very well and the client was happy, which is all that counts. It must have been a very big client because you know who stopped by and sang a couple of songs during the reception?

Sting.

Yes...THE Sting.

Of course, that happened during the only four hours (out of twenty four) that we weren't at the castle. But, Monica got to meet him and said that he was very nice.

Now that work is done, it's time to relax and enjoy the rest of our time here. I spent all day in Florence today...so, that will be showing up on the blog very soon.

It's four a.m. now...must sleep....

Ciao Bella

2009-07-03T12:55:00.000-07:00

We got into Florence last night and are staying at a beautiful villa in the countryside. The weather is pretty warm and a bit muggy...but we're in Italy, so who's gonna complain?

We are staying in one of four main living spaces (the last image above). There is a main house, our house, a house on the backside of ours and another on the hill. The countryside is beautiful and the people who have put us up have been wonderful. They have cooked us dinner both nights...amazing company, food and wine (and lemoncello...no wonder Danny Devito goes crazy for it).

The grounds are vast with a variety of gardens, statues, olive fields, and amazing architecture everywhere you turn.

We are working a party tomorrow at a castle, so everyone has to get up early...so, this will be short.

Hopefully I'll have more time in the next couple of days.

Pasta Tower Kraut

2009-07-01T00:27:00.000-07:00

I am off to Florence, Italy tomorrow for six days...

Then, fly out of Pisa (hopefully with enough time to see that vertically challenged tower)...

To Berlin, Germany for 6 days.

I'm not sure what my internet connection situation will be, so I'll post when I can over the next couple of weeks.

Ciao!

Tilt Shift Photos

2009-06-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

If you want to do something fun with your photos, there is this great site where you can take a photo and make it look like the subject is a toy-sized version of the real location. You can see how it looks in the photo above of a cityscape in Greece.

The process is called Tilt Shifting and you can do it for free on this site.

With the right photo, the results can be a hoot.

Enjoy!

Style over substance

2009-06-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

If you want to make $201 million dollars in 5 days, here's all you have to do...

Make sure you have a ridiculous amount of robots for the kids.

Add some gratuitious booty and cleavage for the ovulating boys and men.

And lots and LOTS of things blowing up.

If you have enough of the above, the whole plot-thing is really irrelevant.

The next Transformers movie should just focus on Megan Fox as a scantily clad robot who explodes every five minutes.

Box office gold!

Boldly moving on

2009-06-26T11:34:00.001-07:00

With all of the sad celebrity news the past couple of days (and the media's nauseating focus on every tiny detail about Michael Jackson and the world's apparent inability to cope with his passing), I thought I would just post a few entertaining Star Trek-related clips that I've seen over the past couple of weeks.

Here is a clip of Zachary Quinto (Spock/Sylar) freaking out last week while walking his dog...along with a man dressed as meat and a bloody butcher.

It's just one of those things that brings about more questions than anyone could possibly answer.

Here is a clip of Taylor Swift on the Country Music Awards talking about how she wants to be in the new Star Trek movie.

And, finally, here is a clip of the original "Star Trek" cast studying a very interesting phenomenon...

Maybe George Takei and William Shatner could finally resolve their longtime feuding by doing a CD together.

It would certainly sell tens of copies.

King of Pop

2009-06-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

More sad news today...

Michael Jackson, the show-stopping singer whose best-selling albums -- including "Off the Wall," "Thriller" and "Bad" -- and electrifying stage presence made him one of the most popular artists of all time, died Thursday,

He was 50.

He collapsed at his residence in the Holmby Hills section of Los Angeles, California, about noon Pacific time, suffering cardiac arrest, according to brother Randy Jackson. He died at UCLA Medical Center.

The world is obviously in shock and the media vultures are milking it for all its worth (as expected). Regardless of how people might feel about him and his erratic behaviors over the past couple of decades, you can't deny that he made an impact on the music world that will last for many lifetimes to come.

He lived in a manufactured world of his own for most of his life...

I hope that it was a happy one.

Farewell Angel

2009-06-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

Very sad news today...

Farrah Fawcett, the blonde-maned actress whose best-selling poster and "Charlie's Angels" stardom made her one of the most famous faces in the world, died Thursday. She was 62.

Fawcett's beauty -- her gleaming smile was printed on millions of posters -- initially made her famous. But she later established herself as a serious actress. She starred as a battered wife in the 1984 TV movie "The Burning Bed." She appeared on stage as a woman who extracts vengeance from a would-be rapist in William Mastrosimone's play "Extremities".

It's been very difficult following her battle with cancer over the past few years. Watching someone go through such a challenging time is always sad. But, she leaves behind a legacy that few in Hollywood ever attain.

The smile, the hair, the Angels...she was the IT girl of the 70's and lived a very full life because of it. Struggles aside, she took what she was given and lived the best life that she could with it. Thats all that any of us can hope to do with our time here on this planet.

She will be missed.

Here's...Johnny!

2009-06-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

Ed McMahon passed away yesterday...

McMahon, known to generations of Americans through "Tonight," "Star Search," "TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes" and as a commercial pitchman, died Tuesday. He was 86.

Ed certainly made a name for himself working with Johnny Carson all of those years and he continued to work during and after Johnny left the show on a wide variety of projects.

I remember his Publisher's Clearing House commercials and always hoped that one day I'd see him at my door with that large check. Unfortunately for me, it looks like Cang Ta mailed hers in a bit earlier than I did that year.

In his later years, Ed ran into some financial trouble (from bad investments and a divorce) and ended up taking a variety of "interesting" pitchman jobs to help cover the bills. Dressing as a rapper for FreeCreditReport.com was one of them...as was his last job promoting Gold4Cash.com.

It shows you that he, like everyone, was human and prone to some of the same life-stuff that everyone faces in the world. But, he handled it the best he could, found options, and moved forward.

I'm sure Johnny would be proud.

Move inland

2009-06-23T11:48:00.000-07:00

The new trailer for the end-of-the-world epic, 2012, was released this week. From the looks of it, I'd say we should all consider moving to Montana sometime before December 2012.

The coastal cities don't appear to fare as well when disaster strikes...

Wonderland

2009-06-22T10:25:00.000-07:00

This movie should be a lot of trippy fun.

Tim Burton is directing his version of the Alice in Wonderland story called, simply, "Wonderland". As you can see from these recently released character shots and concept art...wonderland has never looked THIS good. Plus, with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter...

Anne Hathaway as the White Witch (don't recall that character myself)...

and quirky Helena Bonham Carter (or Mrs. Tim Burton) as the Queen of Hearts...

I think Alice (and the audience) is going to be in for quite an interesting journey down the rabbit hole on March 5th, 2010.

Anderson loves the Lady Gaga

2009-06-19T11:32:00.001-07:00

"Our friend", Richard Simmons, stopped by "Anderson Cooper 360" last night and was his usual bedazzled energetic self (which is always entertaining)...

I'm thinking "Single Ladies" might have been a more appropriate song choice.

The Proposal

2009-06-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

The manscaping trend continues...

The new Sandra Bullock movie, The Proposal, opens this weekend and the PR machine is in full gear. In order to get as many girls and gays into the theaters, they've managed to get Ryan Reynolds on, not one, but FOUR covers of Entertainment Weekly.

Is it a good idea?

Abs-olutely!

Of course, Sandra Bullock will bring in a certain amount of people on her own (she is Sandra Bullock, after all). But, it never hurts to add a dash of Betty White tweaking your teets to help ease all age groups into the cineplex. After that hilarious spoof "interview" Betty, Sandra and Ryan did a few weeks ago...there is a chance that the movie just might be funny.

I actually like all three of those actors and, as much as it looks like rental material, I just may head to the theater this weekend for a wee bit'o wacky comedy and silly shenanigans.

Check out Betty White on the "Chelsea Lately" show talking about the movie and being a slut.

I love me some Betty White!

Kathy on King

2009-06-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

Kathy Griffin was interviewed on Larry King this week and, as usual, was hilarious and kept Larry about five minutes behind everything she said. They're always entertaining together...

Also, although the first episode of "My Life on the D-List" with Bette Midler seemed a bit off (Bette seemed bored at times and it was the first episode without Kathy's assistant Jessica), I actually really enjoyed this week's episode with Lily Tomlin (they both appeared to be having a lot of fun...perhaps all the wine helped).

Here's hoping the rest of the season is more Lily than Bette.

Manscaping

2009-06-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

I guess if girls can grace fashion magazine covers wearing very little...so can the boys.

Bruce Willis and his new bride are on the cover of "W" magazine and have done a risque S&M-themed layout inside for all to see. He's certainly in amazing shape and, I suppose, if faux-humping his bride is the way he wants to introduce her to the world...then have at it.

Sometimes a simple wedding image just isn't enough to fully express your newfound love.

Also, GQ has just started promoting their first nude cover and, of all the people they could have chosen...Sasha Baron Cohen's cheekage won the slot (so to speak).

I guess Mario Lopez, LL Cool J and Abe Vigoda were busy.

Maybe having his crack in Eminem's face at the Grammy's wasn't considered enough publicity for his upcoming movie.

Sometimes you just have to bare it all to lure people into the theaters these days.

I blame Sharon Stone.

You should go

2009-06-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

I loved this movie!

A friend and I went to see the new movie, "Away We Go", this past weekend and it turned out to be one of the best films we've seen in a long time.

It's a sweet, touching, slice-of-life story about a young couple trying to figure out their place in the world and where they should settle and raise their baby.

John Krasinski (from "The Office") and Maya Rudolph (from SNL) are both great...especially Maya, who shows a range and depth of emotion that you'd never expect from a gal with her wacky sketch comedy background.

Allison Janney (she of "Juno", "West Wing" and the play "Nine to Five" fame) gives a hilarious performace as a friend of Maya's who drinks more than she should and is far more inappropriate than she should be around her poor kids. She has a couple lines that I'm still quoting and laughing about today.

So, if you need a break and want to put a smile on your face....get thee to this movie.

You'll be glad you did.

Dynamic Duo

2009-06-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

Kathy + Dave = Funny

Oh...she makes me laugh.

Photo Class Two

2009-06-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

This image is from a wedding I shot recently. I thought she was too young to get married, but who am I to judge?

I just finished my advanced photography class at the local college. Thankfully there was no written exam at the end (my brain holds so little information these days), so we just had to do a portfolio of some of our best shots from this quarter.

This was from the "close-up abstract" assignment.

This one was from our "Wet" assignment. Incidently, it's of a spider web that, no matter how many times I try to get rid of it on the patio...it keeps coming back.

This was from our "Perspective" assignment. It's looking through the concrete bases of three picnic tables in the park.

This was from our "CD Cover" assignment. Thankfully, we had this glass head hanging around the house (you just never know when you may need one).

This was from our "Body Parts" assignment. My "models" were Ebony and Ivory...

This was from our "Urban Landscape" assignment (photos of city life).

And this was from our "Using Flash with Motion" assignment.

Overall, I learned a few new things and, for me, that is a small miracle that I've come to appreciate.

Now, retaining that information is always the challenge....

Literal Music

2009-06-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

I've seen a few of these creative "re-imagined" music videos over the past year. What people do is take a popular music video and re-sing the lyrics to match what is actually going on in the video.

They're pretty entertaining, as you'll see...

Total Eclipse of the Heart (by Bonnie Tyler):

Take On Me (by A-ha)

Head Over Heels (by Tears for Fears)

Shocked and Appalled?

2009-06-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

No one should be "shocked" by this announcement in the new Rolling Stone issue...

“I don’t think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I’m gay,” Lambert says in the new issue of Rolling Stone, hitting newsstands this week.

However, I am appalled by this new International condiment...

Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!

I don't think I need to subtley insinuate what Squeez Bacon looks like on these images...

Do I?

D-lightful!

2009-06-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

My summer has officially begun!

The new season of "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" is finally starting tonight on Bravo. It's always one of the highlights of my summer and always ends much quicker than I would like.

If "Two and a Half Men" is allowed to air twenty-two painful episodes each season, so should Kathy!

In case you missed this, here she is surprising Anderson Cooper last week for his birthday.

I love me some Kathy Griffin!!