Rhoadie's Place

Some things should be kept between you and God

2009-10-21T06:58:00.002-05:00

I am learning that some things should be kept between you and God. Even in prayer situations where there is a group of people, some things shouldn't be divulged especially if it will turn the listener's heart against another saint. If you don't have the appropriate person (like a Pastor/Minister) to advise you on certain situations, maybe you shouldn't share them so freely.

Why do all the "bad girls" get the attention?

2009-10-20T11:37:00.002-05:00

Young guys fascination with bad girls is something that boggled my mind in college since it was so prevalent, but now I see it more often with social networking sites. I was looking at a popular artist's twitter page, and couldn't help but noticed that about 15% of the people he was following were half naked video models. I also noticed that most of the people he replied to were the "groupie type".

I first noticed young males being fascinated with fast women when I was in college. I recall one guy having a different girl on his arm every time I saw him. Often times to compete you may switch your style of dress just to attract attention. I did that also but didn't feel comfortable about it.

However, young women, this will pass with guys for the most part. They are drawn to those women because they are easy sex, but in the long run they don't wife those women. Are you going to be the "good girl" who doesn't give it up, or the jumpoff who is being passed around like a bag of Doritos.

What can we do to encourage our Black Men to complete school and establish successful career paths?

2009-10-20T08:17:00.003-05:00

As I drive up and down the street on any given day at any given hour I see many black men my age and older roaming up and down the streets without direction. The same faces in the same places. This could be on my way to church, work, or the store. Why aren't these brothers working? Why aren't they in school? Why are they hanging on the corner?

Then I see a new breed of sistas, independent sistas by default. Women who's forced to be the mother, father, pastor, deacon, doctor, nurse, accountant, teacher and basically "every woman and man". I see many women playing the man's role and men stuck in a perpetual state of adolescence. There are even cases where women have already obtained a house, career, and began building wealth and the man moves in with her. What ever happened to the man establishing himself as a man first so he can be suited to provide for a family? Why is it backwards? Doesn't the Bible state that the man should leave his mother and father (and establish himself) and be joined to his wife Gen 2:24? Why is the woman leaving her mother and father (establishing herself) and the man is joining unto her? That's backward.

So what can we do to help our brothers become more established in society instead of under the radar, or on the other side of the law?

Has Today's Woman become Selfish and Misguided?

2009-10-16T14:21:00.004-05:00

Recently I listened to a radio program about relationships. A caller wrote an email to the station asking if it was ok to cheat on her significant other while he was being imprisoned for 5 years. Three of the four women present said yes because he shouldn't have gotten in trouble. Two of them even went further to say that you should abandon the man while he is in prison. The only male present exclaimed "You can't keep your legs close 5 years!!!" and the women said NO.

My heart was sadden by the state of women in general. We have lost our morals and what it means to be a lady. Even though the woman's movement did much to help advance our causes, it has also been taken to the extreme and started a new breed of "independent, don't need a man for nothing, Sex in the City, Living Single" type women. We have become very promiscuous and very bullheaded. We have put careers over family; and wonder why our children are running around shooting the school up, the block up, and everything in the middle up.

We must return to those seasoned ladies of old, the Proverbs 31 woman. A woman with a meek spirit, industrious hands, and gentle words.

We need to really pray for employment opportunities

2009-10-15T16:08:00.003-05:00

I was reading an article about a set of twins in New York who graduated from Rutgers University 17 months ago with a degree in Journalism. Since their graduation, they have put in over 150 applications with no results. One of the twins did luck up and found a bartending job making a good amount of money, however they are still not living their dream.

We must pray because putting in 150 applications and not even getting a single phone call is very discouraging. I know how brutal the job search is after college, and I know a few people who went years without any employment opportunities.

Lord I lift up the employment situation to you in the US. There are many people out there looking for jobs and have had no luck. They aren't sitting at home doing nothing, they are actively searching but just can't get their foot in the door. I pray for employment opportunities. I also pray for opportunities for self-employment, as well as entrepreneurship. There are people who want to start businesses, but have very little financial resources. I am asking for miracles today. I thank you that there will be an abundance of employment opportunities as well as entreprenership opportunities in the very near future. Help us to hold on to our faith in You and not let go. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

Click link to read article

Hagar's Provision

2009-10-04T14:01:00.002-05:00

We have all read the story of Hagar in Genesis 16 and 21. Hagar was Sarah's servant who was given to Abraham (by Sarah) to bring forth a child. Sarah was barren at the time and instead of waiting on God's timing she took matters into her own hands. Hagar had a son named Ishmael and Sarah had Isaac shortly thereafter. One day Sarah saw Ishmael taunting Isaac and put Ishamel and Hagar out. God agreed that this was best and Hagar was left on her own to take care of Ismael.

This story is a hard pill to swallow because Hagar was victimized on all fronts. She was used as a breeding device, and then forced to a life of single motherhood. However, God did not allow here to go into the wilderness without provision. When her own substenance ran out she sat down and cried unto God with despair. All of a sudden God provided her with water that was there all along, but she was too hurt to see.

God is still the providing God that He was in Hagar's day. There are times in our life where we are thrown into a situation due to no fault of our own. Our provision runs out and we see no way to have our needs met. However, God steps in and provides for us. And sometimes our provision is right before our faces but because of circumstances we fail to see it.

Black People We Need To Stop This....

2009-09-23T08:57:00.002-05:00

Black people, why is it every time someones favorite rapper gets locked up we want to scream out 'free them'. Lil Boosie, a Louisanna rapper, was recently sentenced to 2 years for a drug and weapon charge. Now people are screaming "Free Lil Boosie". When is this nonsense going to stop?

First it was "Free T.I.", then "Free Gucci Mane", and now it is "Free Lil Boosie". These rappers better be glad their prison sentences weren't longer. These are not first time offenders, but habitual offenders. I got to call a spade a spade. If you did the crime, you must do the time.

I "betta not" see a Free Lil Boosie t-shirt either. It is especially time for our black men to take responsibility for their actions. Especially being a celebrity, you can't be living the hood life carrying a literal gun shop and drug house in your car. Haven't you learned anything from "The Wire".

Enemies in your own Household Pt3

2009-09-21T05:19:00.002-05:00

Submission is a word that many people are allergic to. We as a culture, especially in the U.S., is used to being a dominant world power. It is ingrained in us, consciously and subconsciously, that we should always be in a position of power. However, Christ teaches us differently, in order to lead you must be a servant to the people. Just as Christ washed the disciples feet, we must be willing to serve one another. Being a submissive vessel does not mean that one is weak. It means that the person is humble, sensitive, and has the fear of God within them.

Often within households family member have "power struggles" with one another. The kids may be unruly, the husband may abuse the headship position he has, and the wife may feel that she can run the household best since she manages it closely. We must not fall into this trap of wanting to be in control, remain humble and willing to serve one another.

Enemies in your own Household Pt2

2009-09-16T08:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I posted the first part of my series "Enemies In Your Own Household". Let's look at the word strife. Strife can be describe as the lack of agreement or harmony, bitter conflict, violent conflict. How can two walk together unless they agree? Amos 3:3 In life it is normal not to agree about some things. However, you must work together to iron out issues that causes strife.

What causes strife?

I believe one of the main causes of strife is Pride. Pride is the desire to want to look big in your own eyes, as well as in the eyes of another person. Pride is having an unhealthy preoccupation about what people think of us, what they say about us, trying to kiss up to 'powerful' people, and trying to outshine everyone. It is our mistaken belief that we are more than what we really are. Pride is wanting to have our way, and get the last word.

The Word says that pride can lead a person's downfall and even their destruction. 2 Chronicles 26:16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Pride breeds quarrels and causes disgrace. Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 13:10 Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

To combat pride we must have a spirit of humility. Humility is being meek (patient and gentle), modest (not showing off) submissive (willing to follow leadership/advice).

Next post I'm going to discuss humility in more detail.

Enemies in your own household Part 1

2009-09-15T11:01:00.004-05:00

For a son dishonors his father, a daughter rises up against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law--a man's enemies are the members of his own household (Micah 7:6, Matt 10: 35-36). Everytime I think of this verse of scripture a scene from the Color Purple flashes in my mind. It was the scene where Sohpia says she never thought she had to fight in her own house after Harpo beats her.

Sometimes we have enemies in our own house that are thorns in our flesh. You may have recently got saved and now your house has more drama than a soap opera. Your mother in law, and sometimes your own mother might be jealous of you. Wives and husbands may be in competition with one another. However, we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places(Ephesians 6:12).

We may even have to physically distance our self from that situation, however, we always seek God first for direction. I will be speaking more on this issue in tomorrow's post.

15 year old pregnant girl shot at the bus stop

2009-09-14T14:19:00.003-05:00

It is really praying time. I read on the internet about a 15 year old pregnant girl shot at the bus stop. Her baby was delivered and the last I heard was stated to be in critical condition. My prayers goes out to the family of this young lady, and I pray they catch the killer. This happened in Charlotte, NC by the way.

Caster Semenya

2009-09-13T14:53:00.002-05:00

My heart really goes out to Caster Semenya, the South African runner who has been having an ordeal concerning her gender. For those who have not heard, she won a race and her gender was brought into question. Some leaked tests claimed that she is inter sexed which has brought Semenya much shame. Male, female, or in between she is still God's child and the media should not put this young girl on display to be crucified for something that is beyond her control.

When you do everything right....and things still go wrong

2009-09-09T08:16:00.002-05:00

Last week in Bible Class the teacher was discussing guilt. One of the statements he made really stuck with me. "In life there are situations we face where we did everything right, we did it by the book, and things still go wrong". We sometimes feel guilty and get into self blame. We often blame God, "I did everything right Lord, and this still happened".

This happens alot in relationships. You gave the person the world, but they still dumped you. You may have been pregnant; done everything by the book, ate right, rested well, but your baby miscarried. You went on a job interview; was perfectly qualified for the position, gave your best interview, but still did not get hired.

All of these things will have you full of self pity and doubt. I don't understand these matters, and there are some matters that only God understands. However, just as He spun creation into existence, He's in control of every detail of our lives. We may fall on our faces every once in a while but doesn't mean that we have sinned, or in bad standing with God. It doesn't mean He no longer cares about us. Our lives is not just some chaotic ball of energy, God views our lives as being precious to Him. When terrible things happen in spite of our efforts we are often confused and discouraged. We will question God and His love for us. But know that these tests are a trying of our faith. Satan's main job is to attempt to separate us from God's presence eternally. We must not let him do that saint's, we must lean and depend on God through the good times and the bad. Stay focused on God, and remember, prayer changes things.

Failure to Launch....in Life

2009-09-09T08:09:00.004-05:00

Last week I was flipping through the channels and looked at this movie called "Failure to Launch". It was about a 35 year old single man still living at home with his parents. He hung around with other slackers his age still living at home. They had no intent of moving out and was comfortable staying where they were.

Sometimes in life we encounter a failure to launch. This could be in our spiritual walk, personal relationships, career, etc. We get to a place where we are stuck. Sometimes our normal development is hindered. We may have intents of being successful in something, do everything right, and things still go wrong. However, with God all things are possible; just get up, dust yourself off, and try again.

Perseverance

2009-09-08T09:19:00.003-05:00

A couple of years ago I started research on my family tree. I began researching my African, Native, and European roots. The European roots were the easiest to trace, and only took a few weeks to establish their place of origin. The Native American roots were more difficult, but at least I have enough history to know my tribe and clan and establish a place of origin. However, the African roots were and still is the most difficult side to trace. I have no place of origin, it seems as though people just fell out of the sky, and I was becoming discouraged about it. I know that their are DNA tests out there (thank God for that), but I would just love to know their story. Also, many of my African roots are intertwined with the Native Americans that they lived among, so establishing their place of origin has been difficult. I was looking through courthouse records and saw women with no father named on birth records which was even more frustrating.

However, God reminded me of having the spirit of perseverance. This week I had a breakthrough in finding a member of an extended branch of my family who is doing research also. This relieved me that I now have another piece of the puzzle.

Some experiences can cost you your life

2009-08-31T08:31:00.005-05:00

I was listening to a radio show this morning and the topic was Bad Boys vs. Good Boys. One of the hosts, a self-proclaimed relationship expert, stated that every woman needs to experience a bad boy at least once in her lifetime (preferably in her 20's). She reasoned that they would appreciate good men after being "dogged out". WHAT FOOLISHNESS!!! This is the world's way of thinking, the "trial and error" theory. However, God's thoughts are much higher than our own (Isaiah 55:6-9) and we must not abandon the teachings of our elders. With obediance to the Word of God, we won't have to make the same mistakes other people made.

Unfortunately, you even see this kind of thinking in the Kingdom of God. How many testimonies have a theme about being with the wrong person, addicted to drugs, etc. And at the end the person says that God took them through all of that in order for them to go to their next level, or to give them a testimony. What does some of this nonsense we PUT ON OURSELVES, have to do with a "next level"? Your "next level" comes from obeying God's Word. Did Yeshua have to rob someone and get arrested to go to his "next level" or to have a testimony? We better stop putting our own foolishness on God, your testimony lies in your obedience to the word of God. It does not have to always be that story brought on by our own rebellion and hardheadedness. Yes, I've been hard headed too, but can I at least spare my future generations drama and time wasted?

Picture by: JaseMan
Site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bargas/3695903512

Asserting yourself

2009-08-29T04:57:00.002-05:00

I am so proud because I asserted myself in a particular situation this week. I used to be the kind of person that didn’t like to say no to people. This is because I do not like for people to become offended at me. So I would just say yes just to keep the peace. However, as I am maturing in Christ, I don’t feel that way anymore. A person asked me a favor that I was not willing to fulfill because it was putting me in an uncomfortable bind. I simply told them no, and as they kept trying to convince me to do the favor I kept saying no and stood by my word. I have to admit I felt really strange afterward and felt the need to justify my answer to them as well as myself. However, you do not need to justify your "no" to anyone, people should just respect your wishes.

I said all of this to say, don’t ever feel like you have to do a favor for someone if it doesn’t agree with your gut instinct. I do not care who it is. We as believers can be easily manipulated because we feel that it's our God given duty to come to the rescue, or be a person’s personal cheering squad. God will never put you in a position where you will take a fail. You can not help anyone if you need some help/deliverance in that particular area also. God will use you in a situation, once you have become victorious over the circumstance yourself. Will an army send out soldiers that have not completed basic training just to fill a need? No, because they would literally be suicide. Remember that the show goes on without you. You don’t have to overextend yourself. Next week I will be discussing "Self-Preservation".

Prayer Request

2009-08-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

Leave your prayer requests in the comment section.

Ted Kennedy died...

2009-08-26T12:18:00.004-05:00

As I woke up this morning to learn of the death of Ted Kennedy, I could not help but notice that quite a few celebrities have passed away this year. I know that people die everyday, but every time I turn on the TV I hear about someone passing.

From Michael Jackson to Ed McMahon and countless others, these deaths are making me more aware of our short time on Earth and the need to carry out the Will of God for our lives. We don't know if tomorrow's promised to us. So make it your business to seek God for your lifeplan, and operate in it.

Waiting on God for a mate Pt.3

2009-08-26T04:09:00.002-05:00

When will I get married?

I would not concern myself with agonizing thoughts of "When will I marry?" . According to the Census, (http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam/cps2008.html) most people get married in their 30’s (look at table A1, ALL races under above link). God is practical and He knows all about your biological clock, and need for companionship. Don’t fret over talks of “advanced maternal age”. That concept is man’s calculation but did that stop Sarah from having a child?

I would be concerned more with the “how”. How will I get married is important? This does not refer to wedding planning or reception hosting either. The definition of how is “In what manner or way; by what means, in what state or condition, to what extent, amount, or degree, for what reason or purpose” (http://www.answers.com/topic/how). Let’s hone in on the “in what state or condition, and for what reason or purpose. What state or condition needs to be nurtured in me right now that would better prepare me for marriage and motherhood? What is the reason and purpose for my marriage? What life work does God want my marriage to accomplish?

I want to leave you with this scripture, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Picture by: suchitra prints(Away for a few days) http://www.flickr.com/photos/chitrasudar/

Photo link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chitrasudar/2574447715/

Waiting on God for a Mate P2

2009-08-25T03:56:00.005-05:00

Immaturity

Immaturity may be another reason we are waiting on God for a mate. Either we are not fully developed in a particular area of our life, or our partner is not fully developed in a particular area of their life. You may look around and see other people who seems not to have what it takes to sustain a marriage, but are married. Maybe they married without God's consultation. It is easy to find someone who will marry you tomorrow if the "passion" is there. However, we as believers should not make critical decisions based on our emotions. If you are truly waiting on the Lord to send you a mate you have to trust His judgment and timing.

Circumstances

We have no idea what circumstances God needs to smooth out in order to bring forth a marriage. Just as a mother would not give her child raw meat to eat, the Lord will not allow us to marry under "raw" circumstances. There is a time and season for everything Ecclesiastes 3:1. God waits until circumstances are fully ripe and developed before bringing forth His Will.

Don't compare self to others and Seek God yourself

Never compare yourself to others when waiting on God for a mate. God's ways are higher than our own ways (Isa 55:9). When we compare ourselves to others we often feel that we don't measure up or that the other person does not measure up. This leaves us with thoughts such as "if they can get married, why can't I? I come to church more than they do, they have a bad attitude, they have three 'babies daddies'". Both thoughts can lead to jealousy or envy. However, we do not know what that person had to endure and overcome with God's strength. We also need to realize that God will not put more on us than we can bear (1 Cor 10:13). God allows some people to marry at a time that might seem "unreasonable" to us in order to bring stability and peace into their lives. I have seen people who were struggling with kids, loneliness, and a host of other issues receive a mate who seemly rescued them from the madness they were in. God's merciful like that. Christianity often promotes this teaching that two people have to be complete, whole, and perfect as individuals before God will allow them to marry. As if you are somehow promoted from singleness to marriage, like we're in grade school. However, I beg to differ. I have seen people, especially women, who appeared to be rescued by their mate. I have seen countless times of a single mother struggling to raise her kids, and provide for them and a Godly man comes into her life and helps her. This is very similar to what Boaz did to Ruth. Ruth was broken when she met Boaz. God used him to uplift her in her time of need.

Stay tuned for Pt.3

Picture by: suchitra prints(Away for a few days) http://www.flickr.com/photos/chitrasudar/

Photo link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chitrasudar/2574447715/

"Thug Lovin" Pt 2 (Caution Vulgar Language at the Very End)

2009-08-24T07:05:00.003-05:00

In this video the late Tupac talks about being rejected by women because he was "too nice". I know that women of all races love bad boys, but I want to particularly address black women where this attitude runs amuck in our community. Watch the video and leave your feedback.

Waiting on God for a Mate Pt 1

2009-08-24T06:24:00.006-05:00

Waiting on God for a mate can be one of the most agonizing challenges ever. In one of my previous blogs, I emphasized having an enjoyable life in your singleness. However, let's touch on some of the realities of waiting and specifically why we are waiting.

WHY ARE WE WAITING FOR SO LONG JUST TO RECEIVE A MATE?

One of the main reasons we are waiting for so long to receive a mate is because today's culture is different than in previous times. Years ago men and women were reared to marry young and start families. Women didn't have the freedoms we enjoy now, and many women could not compete with men in education and career. Women were also more moral and did not have sexual exploits as a whole before marriage. However, things have changed, for the good and for the bad. It's wonderful that women can become educated, establish careers, own and operate companies, and exercise our gifts and talents . Unfortunately, some of us may become overly driven and don't put that same time and effort into securing a mate. If you don't have balance, some men may find it as a turn off. They may not even realize that you desire a mate. The Proverbs 31 woman was very industrious, however she had balance.

Economical

Uncertain economical times is making home ownership and financial security more difficult than it was in previous years. People who would usually be excited by marriage and make good partners, may now be turned off by money issues surrounding marriage. Some never feel that it is the "right time" for marriage, so they temporarily "opt out" of marriage until they feel they are established. This leaves more single people without a mate for longer periods of time.

Picture by: suchitra prints(Away for a few days) http://www.flickr.com/photos/chitrasudar/

Photo link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chitrasudar/2574447715/

Jesus is Lord of our Life, not a Genie in a Bottle

2009-08-23T11:39:00.005-05:00

In my last post I spoke about Satan planting thoughts of laziness in God's children. One area where mainstream religion has clearly erred is in the area of work. Many people feel that hard work is punishment or even the result of the "Curse of Adam". However, was Adam really cursed? Did God give work as a "curse"?

Genesis 3:17 clearly states that it was not Adam that was cursed, but the ground. This meant that it would be harder for him to reap food from the Earth because it would not produce abundantly like it did before the sin. Genesis 5:29 and 8:21 also speaks of Adam and his descendents toiling the Earth vigorously. We see that Adam toiled the Earth before he sinned, as Gen 2:15 stated that God placed him in the garden and he was to "dress and keep it".

However, as a result of sin, we have to work harder to get just the basic of necessities. We may have to work two jobs just to make ends meet instead of one. We may not have family inheritance, have to work 3x harder just to secure one for our future generations. To remedy this we need to realize that working is not a sin, and God is not our genie. We must understand that it may take more toil and longer hours to reach our goals, but God will lead us in the right direction if we follow him. We may have a few extra bumps in the road, but God is faithful to get us over them. We can't use laziness as an excuse to justify getting what we want from God without any effort on our part.

“Is this Satan Talking?”

2009-08-23T11:38:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had an “inspired” idea that you know only the Lord could’ve given you? However, a thought or even a word from an outsider plants a seed of opposition? Well that very thing happened to me recently. God gave me a creative idea and someone gave me an idea that was the exact opposite. But here is the kicker, they said that God told them to give me the idea.

As I pondered the new idea, I noticed certain things weren’t adding up. First of all, the message contained a theme of laziness which the Word of God speaks against. This person was sincere in their intention, but they were wrong. They were basically telling me that God said I did not have to apply hard work and diligence to my dreams but I could sit back and watch the Lord work on my behalf. Yes, it is true God does work on our behalf, but it takes action and effort on our part. This thinking was in direct contrast with scripture “faith without works is dead” James 2:17. God is not in the business of moving Heaven and Earth for you while you just sit back and sip lemonade. God is not our slave.

So when someone gives you a “Word” always test it 1 John 4:1. Even if the Word sounds sweet to your ears, still test it against the Word of God.