The Engine Room

POST-OFFICE PICK-ME-UP

2009-11-25T21:22:00.005Z

The London Evening Standard today ran a feature on "multi-tasking beauty treatments" ('Party Season Pit Stops', page 36). One of the crossheads was rather ambiguous:

FOR MEN WHO NEED A POST-
OFFICE PICK-ME-UP

I'm a man, and the only thing I'm likely to pick up in the Post Office is a book of stamps.

Granted, putting the crosshead in caps (a trap that the online version avoids) doesn't help, but couldn't the Standard have run with 'post-work' or 'after-office' instead?

Access was denied after it has been already asserted

2009-11-24T22:13:00.005Z

So I just tried to log into a certain program and got this error message:

"Access was denied after it has been already asserted." What does this mean? I can't log in because I've already logged in?

And surely the tenses are wrong too. Access was asserted first, and then denied, so "Access was denied after it was asserted" would make more sense. Or perhaps "Access has been denied after already having been asserted".

I'm still not sure what it means, though.

I'm planing a Barking facility

2009-11-23T20:39:00.005Z

A couple of snippets of raw copy for you today, chosen for the interesting images they bring to mind.

First, a simple typo:

The proposed regional distribution centre is currently at the planing stage, but Morrisons is confident that the site, just off the M5, will be operational by mid-2011.

Is the distribution centre made of wood?

And then there's this:

Since January, the company has opened a 273,000ft2 Barking facility, invested in electronic proof-of-delivery technology and won several significant contracts.

A doggone Barking facility! I think that "facility in Barking, London" would be clearer...

Scraper + scoop + ladle = scrudle

2009-11-22T20:16:00.006Z

On Friday, Metro ran a story about the Scrudle, a plastic device which is "said to allow cooks to seamlessly scoop up equal amounts of ingredients without any spillages".

It added:

Scrudle, which rhymes with strudel and is a mixture of the words scraper and ladle, was the brainchild of Margaret O'Callaghan.

A mixture of the words scraper and ladle? Surely that would be 'scradle' (or 'scraple') rather than 'scrudle'? So was there a third word contributing to the name - and if so, what? 'Stew'? 'Ooh'?

Fortunately the Mail Online (also published by Associated Newspapers) had the answer:

Described as a cross between a scraper, a scoop and a ladle (hence its name, a hybrid of the three), the Scrudle was invented by middle class housewife Margaret O'Callaghan, 65, at her suburban home.

Incidentally, it's surprising just how much media attention the scrudle has received in the UK. A quick search uncovered the following (in order of Google ranking, from highest to lowest):

I love the way the Telegraph.co.uk threw in 'spatula'... as if three implements weren't enough.

Why is the TV show 'SMart' called 'SMart'?

2009-11-20T17:04:00.005Z

There's a long-running BBC TV show called SMart. It's about art and it's aimed at children. So why the name 'SMart'?

Well, obviously, the word 'smart' contains within it the word 'art'. So far, so good. It's just that capital 'M' that bugs me.

I would have gone for 'SmArt'. I can also see the argument for 'SmART' - or even just 'Smart'. But 'SMart'?

Perhaps 'SMart' stands for 'Super Magic Art' or something similar. Wait a minute, though, that would give us 'SMArt'...

So many alternatives!

The city of Derby, Iowa: population 131

2009-11-19T21:08:00.005Z

The Wikipedia page on Derby, Iowa begins:

Derby is a city in Lucas County, Iowa, United States. The population was 131 at the 2000 census.

A city with 131 inhabitants! That made me laugh. Even St David's, the UK's smallest city, has a population of 1,800 (ish).

But then I dug around on Wikipedia a little more and discovered this: "In Oregon, Kansas, Kentucky, North Dakota, Minnesota, and Iowa, all incorporated municipalities are cities."

So that explains it.

'No More Big Gaps'

2009-11-18T20:56:00.008Z

The company behind the adhesive 'No More Nails', UniBond, also makes a foam filler called 'No More Big Gaps'. What a great name.

However while 'No More Nails' is a substitute for nails (in certain circumstances), 'No More Big Gaps' is not a substitute for big gaps.

Looking at it another way, 'No More Big Gaps' eliminates big gaps, but 'No More Nails' does not eliminate nails. It only eliminates the need for nails.

EastEnders and the 'Beale-L-T'

2009-11-16T23:36:00.006Z

It looks like the ~~Eastenders~~ EastEnders crew has been having some fun with language.

The cafe in the BBC soap opera is owned by a character called Ian Beale. And instead of the traditional BLT, Ian's cafe offers a 'Beale-L-T'.

I've even managed to get a screengrab from the BBC's iPlayer as evidence:

The Beale-L-T seems to include a burger, but I can't quite read that first word in brackets. Anyone?

Art criticism from Metro

2009-11-13T17:49:00.005Z

According to Metro, a paper not renowned for its understatement, this portrait of Gordon Brown's wife Sarah "would struggle to make it on to the fridge door if it was painted by a three-year old".

I'm fairly confident that any three-year-old producing art like this would be acclaimed a genius.

(The portrait is taken from Carla Bruni's website, and was not created by a toddler.)

'On a scale of 1 to 10 where 0 is poor'

2009-11-12T21:16:00.005Z

I've been on a training course called 'Managing High-Performing Teams' for the past couple of days. I've enjoyed it, and maybe I'll write some more about it tomorrow, but for now I just want to share this extract from the course materials:

Scaling: On a scale of 1 to 10 where 0 is poor and 10 is world class, where would you put performance today?

Is it possible to have 0 in a scale of 1 to 10? Or is it just that I'm not allowed to choose 'poor' as my answer?

Google Wave, turbulence and Serenity

2009-11-11T08:50:00.006Z

So I'm all signed up with Google Wave after wangling an invitation out of one of my senior colleagues. It's fun to play with but I'm getting a bit tired of seeing this error message:

Apparently the wording is based on a quote from the Joss Whedon sci-fi movie Serenity (which I haven't seen).

If you're on Google Wave too, you can wave to me at engineroomblog@googlewave.com.

Update 23/11/2009: And here's another Google Wave error message I've encountered, again inspired by Serenity (apparently):

Headlines: 'Major massacres'

2009-11-09T22:32:00.003Z

On Friday, I walked past a folded, discarded copy of Metro and caught the first deck of its two-deck front page headline. It read: "Major massacres".

This left me wondering what massacres it was referring to, and when exactly a massacre became a "major" massacre.

Later, I picked up a copy of Metro for myself and saw the full headline. It was:

Major massacres
11 at top US base

Oops.

How long ago is 'a long time ago'?

2009-11-06T16:40:00.004Z

How long ago is 'a long time ago'? The answer, my friends, is 2006 - at least according to my PC.

I've been uploading some video files to our publication's YouTube account. The videos are show reports dating from 2008, 2007 and 2006 - here's the full list:

So either 2006 is 'a long time ago' or my PC just can't count up to three...

'Nick Griffin, you f** w*'

2009-11-03T20:47:00.005Z

Replacing swear words in a news story with a string of asterisks may protect the sensibilities of easily offended readers but it doesn't always aid understanding. For example, Metro's front page lead today begins:

British National Party leader Nick Griffin found himself in the centre of a racism court case today - in which he claimed to be the victim.

The far-right leader and North West MEP alleged he was racially abused by a driver who made threatening 'gun gestures' towards him and called him a white 'b*****d'.

But, while defendant Taquir Khalid admitted being at the scene of the incident, he insisted he shouted only 'Nick Griffin, you f****** w*****' and flicked a V-sign.

It's that final asterisked word that caused me problems. When I first read the paragraph I took it to mean that Khalid had called Griffin a 'whitie' - after all, it's an offensive term that begins with 'w', has six letters, and ties into the story's theme of racial abuse.

Of course, calling someone a 'whitie' would be as as racist as (or possibly even more racist than) calling someone a 'white b*****d', so admitting to it wouldn't be much of a defence against a charge of racial abuse.

Within a few seconds my brain had done the processing and come up with 'wanker' instead.

Incidentally, if Metro can give the first and last letter for 'b*****d', why can't it do the same for other swear words?

Grammar Girl: Swear Words in Text

Spelling: 'Sameday disptach'

2009-11-02T18:03:00.005Z

At the weekend I went to order a particular product from the Amazon website. But I hit a problem: the product in question was available from a number of sellers, all of whom had almost identical prices, ratings and returns policies. I'd never used - or even heard of - any of the sellers before either. How to choose?

Well, the seller that was advertising its "sameday disptach" service ruled itself out of the running:

After all, if it can't spare the effort to spell correctly, how can I be confident that it will spare the effort to send me the right product, on time and in good condition? It's like the Panasonic logo says: "Everything matters".

Even the best finishers...

2009-11-01T18:31:00.004Z

Footballer Frank Lampard recently appeared in an anti-obesity advert (pictured) with the caption "Even the best finishers need someone to start them off".

At a party yesterday, someone pointed out to me that this caption could be taken as rather rude. And yes, I believe it could.

Any other unintentionally smutty ads out there?

Wikipedia vandalism and old folks in Tolworth

2009-10-29T22:20:00.006Z

I use Wikipedia quite a lot, and only occasionally spot acts of vandalism. But here's one possible example, from the entry on Tolworth (check out the final sentence - and click on the image to see a larger version):

Yes, it says: "I have been here and its not all that to be honest just a bunch of old folks".

Wikipedia defines vandalism as "any addition, removal, or change of content made in a deliberate attempt to compromise the integrity of Wikipedia". However on the same page it also makes reference to "unintentional vandalism". Huh?

Anyway, I'm not sure whether the Tolworth edit is deliberate or unintentional vandalism - or whether, in its own way, it actually adds to the article.

'I assumed that it was a suicidal note'

2009-10-28T21:20:00.006Z

BBC News is running a story today about a French love letter in a bottle that washed up on a Cornish beach.

The man who discovered the bottle, Martin Leslie, is quoted as saying: "I assumed that it was a suicidal note that we came across."

Suicidal note: a note that tries to kill itself...

Associated Press: Former child actor Joe Pichler missing, suicidal note found; was in `Beethoven' comedies

Bags of fun at Marks & Spencer

2009-10-27T18:35:00.007Z

So Marks & Spencer charges 5p for each of its regular carrier bags, partly "to encourage customers to reduce the amount of bags they use".

Today I bought a few groceries at Marks & Spencer, and the cashier persuaded me to pack them in two small carrier bags "because they're free" rather than in one regular bag.

Go to Marks & Spencer and use more plastic bags!

Image courtesy of FreeFoto.com.

My metrics tool is feeling optimistic

2009-10-26T17:06:00.007Z

So the tool we use at work to track our website's page views is feeling wildly optimistic today (click on the image to see a larger version):

There's a clear weekly pattern, and when I took the screengrab at 3pm today we were on track to hit (or slightly exceed) the average for a Monday. Where the forecast of 50,000+ page views came from I don't know. Not least because it would be 14,000 page views above our site record...

Nihari is best eaten

2009-10-25T19:50:00.005Z

So my local Indian takeaway has an interesting item in the 'specials' section of its menu:

Nihari £9.95

Lamb on the bone is slow cooked to release all its flavours making a rich, very distinctive curry. Best eaten.

"Best eaten"? Does that mean that the other dishes are best avoided?

Funny, but I've found a very similar description on another restaurant's menu - only this one ends with "Best eaten with garlic naan"...

A Generation Hat is Ignored and Scorned

2009-10-23T19:25:00.010+01:00

I did mention this great typo on Twitter yesterday but I think it's worth recording for posterity on the blog. You never know, the Daily Express might get around to fixing it at some point:

Daily Express: A Generation Hat is Ignored and Scorned

2000A post may have at most labels.

2009-10-22T21:49:00.004+01:00

Two things have annoyed me recently.

Firstly, the discovery that Blogger blogs can only have a maximum of 2,000 tags (or 'labels', if you prefer).

Secondly, the error message that Blogger gives you when you exceed that number:

"2000A post may have at most labels." Very clear.

Free translations, guides, books and, er, sex

2009-10-20T18:44:00.003+01:00

I've been meaning to share these links for a while:

Bab.la Phrases: translations of useful phrases to and from any two of 14 languages - with a special focus on formal writing (business and academic). Bab.la is also offering downloadable travel survival guides - but they don't contain any information on pronunciation, so in my view their use is limited.

Lit Drift: a website about fiction-writing, notable for its 'Free Book Fridays' - "the best titles in indie publishing for the low low price of nothing". Oh, you can also follow Lit Drift on Twitter. Somewhat surprisingly, the site is blocked at work:

Photo special: infer / imply

2009-10-19T17:13:00.006+01:00

Today I took an online course on competition laws ('antitrust' to some of you), and I was pleased to see it contained this example of infer/imply confusion:

Great photo too.