The Best of All Possible Worlds

2005-10-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

The older me is also a shittier poster. Four months! Thankfully, the two or three of you that harassed me about it are good harassers indeed. Where to start? There were school festivals. The first was in July. Each class had a theme and decorated their room accordingly (ie. Okinawa, Japan Soccer, Haunted House...I would've gone with Apocalypse, these days being what they are). Then they sold all kinds of things, mostly food. The students know I'm an easy mark, so I ended up buying something to the tune of seven parfaits, three beef donburi bowls, five syrup drinks (and not the cool Houston kind either), two yakisoba plates, and several tickets for numerous carnival games, none of which I won. It was the most fun I've had at school. The students were so happy and excited about the whole thing. Oh, and it was warm then, too. Now, the cold has returned, and the piles of snow are right around the corner. But I digress. After that festival, I went to Tokyo with some other Yamagata foreigners and saw the Indianapolis Colts play the Atlanta Falcons. We saw some Japanese kids with a sign that read, "Do It Ron Mexico," a reference to Michael Vick's alias when he allegedly transmits herpes. We thought it was funny, so we took a picture with them. Hmmm. Now I'm tired. Anyway, I'm fine. I'm enjoying work a lot these days. This could be because I have learned to harness my powers. It could also be in part because I also escaped to Kyoto twice in those last four months. Most beautiful women in the world, in Kyoto. Yep. I'll see if I can't update again in the next four months.

itunes shuffle!
Dexy's Midnight Runners-Ryan Adams-Grandaddy-Aphex Twin-Gravy Train!!!-Sufjan Stevens-Rammstein

2005-07-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

27. Mid-twenties? Late twenties? Mid-to-late-twenties? Not that it matters much. I hardly consider myself a full grown kid yet. Working at a high school manages to remind you daily of your age, yet also makes you forget it. Or, rather, not worry about it...being surrounded by youth, death doesn't exist. It's the opposite of working in a nursing home or a funeral parlor. Anyway, my birthday is on Saturday and there's two major parties going on that have nothing to do with my occasion, so I have plenty of opportunity to get filthy drunk and do stupid shit in celebration.

Random thought of the day: How the O'Jays did both "Love Train" and "Backstabbers" and how those are on complete opposite sides of the love emotion spectrum, and how rad that is.

P.S. Send me presents.

El Torito Tastes Better Over Here

2005-06-15T03:10:00.000-07:00

Wow. This blog has dramatically turned down the rock and turned up the suck to 11. And the comments have somehow become disabled. This is not my doing. Luckily for me, I decided long ago that loss was romantic and character-building, so this is a good thing. Speaking of losses, the girls made it to the final 8 at the prefectural tournament, where they got hammered by Yamagata Kita High School, 7-0. The opposing pitcher was throwing these ridiculous sliders that broke right before the plate. They were almost like cut fastballs. We don't have anyone who can throw that pitch; we live and die by the changeup. The girls didn't stand a chance. Fortunately, I had a train to catch, so I didn't have to witness the waterworks all the way back to Nagai again. Tokyo was rad, as usual. More on that later; I'm off to get me a Loco Moco (awesome rice/egg/hamburger bowl) at Hokka Hokka Tei.

Top 5 Albums To Listen To While Driving In The Okitama Region of Yamagata Prefecture
1) Arlo - Up High In The Night
2) Coachwhips - Bangers vs. Fuckers
3) Mobb Deep - The Infamous
4) Pixies - Bossanova
5) Digital Underground - Sex Packets

It's Like A Koala Bear Crapped A Rainbow In My Brain

2005-06-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Tsuruoka for the prefectural softball tournament, then to Tokyo for a few days for a conference. I might actually update this thing again when I return. Things have been good. The new first-year students are real smart, so school has been easy. The third-year kids seem much more happy, now that I'm not teaching them. It's been nice and warm, which means it's beach time real soon. I envision purchasing a giant inflatable whale and floating and basking. Mayhaps with beautiful women who realize that the whale is not a metaphor, but a flotation device that is not to be feared.

Harukimashita

2005-04-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

School is back to being all regular. Well, sort of...two of the English teachers transferred, and adjusting to the new ones has been an adventure. We're cool so far. They both like Britpop. But Oasis and Suede, not Blur and Muse. That was puzzling. I'm fairly certain that I'm the first Californian they've met. Lucky them! Spring has sprung, and the cherry blossoms are beginning to happen. In no time, everyone will engage in "hanami," which is basically picnicking near famous old cherry trees and getting drunk. The English Conversation club wants to partake in hanami, hopefully sans the aforementioned drinking. As the advisor, I need to make this happen, and soon. The blossoms only hang around for a couple of weeks. The incoming first-year students quadrupled the membership of the club, so it has been a nice change, coming up with activities for the group to do. Softball is also in full effect. The prefectural tournament is in June, and we've been stepping up practices to prepare for it. We've been playing scrimmages against some of our tougher opponents outside of the county. It's kind of hard to watch sometimes. Since we want an advantage come June, we aren't giving the other teams looks at Noriko, our ace. Better for us if they don't see the fastball with filthy movement and the kneebuckling changeup until they have to. However, this means we use other pitchers in the scrimmages. Harumi and Shino did fine, but Hitomi and Tsumugi got torched for five-plus runs each. Worrisome. Other concerns include Ikumi's release re: baserunners stealing and Chisa's fielding at third. Recently, she's had the range of a truffle. This issue would be more relevant to me if I was the infield coach, but I work with the outfielders, who are more or less perfect as a result.

Top Five Albums of the Week (Thank You Hellen Edition):

1) Sufjan Stevens presents Greetings from Michigan, the Great Lakes State
2) ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Worlds Apart
3) The Ging Nang Boyz - ...young alive in love
4) Mastodon - Leviathan
5) The Descendents - Milo Goes To College

Randy Is Awesome: Yonezawa Gaijin Flag Football Game Statistics
Offense: 12/15, 6 passing TDs, 0 INTs, 2 rushing TDs
Defense: 7 passes defensed, 2 INTs, 1 INT returned for TD

What I Did During My Winter Vacation, By Randy

2005-04-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

Does listening to the Killers' "Smile Like You Mean It" on repeat count?

I remember this conversation:
Me: What a shitty dad that guy is. Look, he's not driving, he's not paying attention to the kid, he's doing nothing.
Tom: Maybe he's drunk.
Me: Oh.

Griffin and Hae Eun, Ming, Claire, Dirty Mike and D are all awesome, for different reasons.

I saw Kat, and we had a high-class meal at the T.G.I.Fridays of my people, P.F. Chang's. She was all pouty-lipped and red and hot.

Heather sang this most beautiful version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart".

I saw Julia Loafandbra and Jen Heller. I think it was on Saint Patrick's Day.

The Oakland A's should be alright, after Barry Zito stops leaving pitches up in the zone and they remember how to hit with runners in scoring position.

I bought a car yesterday. It is so rad. I keep turning on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal. I look forward to driving, now that the snow is melting.

The new school term begins tomorrow, and I've already been giggled at by my new 1st year kids. Good start.

Back In The World

2005-03-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

I'm in Pleasanton, and I'm exhausted. The flight wasn't too pleasant. Friendly skies? Not when the dude sitting next to you needs to get told what to do with that elbow. Anyway, I'm off to get a burrito.

Things I Likely Won't Hear Here

"Let's skiing!"
"Your English is easy to understand."
"Why won't you marry my daughter?"
"Yes, I would love to give you my phone number...let's drinking!"

It's the End of the School Year As We Know It

2005-02-28T07:27:00.000-08:00

I am fairly certain that my kerosene heater is killing me slowly. Something about the fumes. I'm not too concerned, though. I reckon I could lose up to 20% of my brain ability and no one would notice. Both here and in the States.

The new Decemberists song I have sounds like late 80's/early 90's R.E.M. It's even named "Engine Driver." Hmm...like, "Driver 8"? Like, "Auctioneer (Another Engine)"? Yes, this is a good thing. Bonus: An entire verse alluding to The Merchant of Venice!

The third year students are graduating on Wednesday and are going on to brighter and less snowy futures in universities all over Japan. Except for them kids going to Hokkaido University. That's snowier. Anyway, they've worked so hard for what they've achieved. I'm very proud of them.

You all better send me any requests you have, because I have no idea what to bring you, besides Kitty-chan stuff. And hentai.

Here's the Sun, And It's Alright

2005-02-27T06:44:00.000-08:00

I had this serious discussion with myself the other day: "Which drink box do you buy from the drink man today? If you buy Ichigo Milk (strawberry milk; also the name of a popular porn starlet), you will acquire valuable calcium, which is good for your soon-to-be-degenerating bones. However, if you buy apple juice, you will get a more true source of vitamin C, which is important if you don't want scurvy. Or scabies. One of those."

Kai sent me an email about how one of Korn's guitarists left the band because he found God. I liked that. I then spent all day listening to Korn, Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Mastodon.

I've been listening to a lot of Snoop Dogg lately. His new album is absurdly good. I've also been listening to Lionel Richie a lot. Mike sent me his greatest hits collection the other day and I couldn't help myself. I had no idea that he sang "Sail On" and "Stuck On You". I thought those were by Willie Nelson or Bob Seger or somebody else. Does anybody have any idea what "Say You, Say Me" is about?

The principal retires at the end of this term, and we had a big party the other night for him. I found out a lot about who hates who in the staff room, though I had a pretty good idea about it.

I'm excited about seeing all of you soon. Even Nick. Well, not so much excited, but resigned to the fact. I miss Kat. Our reunion meal will be really delicious and cheesy.

Yasumanebane

2005-02-23T07:42:00.000-08:00

The Good Doctor is dead. I was curious as to what he thought of the government arming robots, and whether he thought it terrifying or exhilarating that the inherent madness of war was being taken from the human soldier and given to a robot with a gun. And a guy with a transmitter. I miss him because he could have taken a subject like that above mess of words and written something, but it would have been something disastrously beautiful instead.

I am finding creative writing in general to be a problem these days. Communication is not much of an issue anymore, with my Japanese improving (!) daily and my condescending tone and need for validation proving wildly successful here. But writing is just not happening these days. Maybe it's because I've had to re-learn English grammar in order to teach it to the kids, and see every mistake I make. Maybe it's because the staff room explodes into applause when they witness me type a page-long essay in an hour or correct a student's composition in less than half a minute. Whoa! "Randy can English!" Whatever. The point is, the scant strings of aspiration I had in becoming some sort of literary artist are snapping. And how! Look, I've even fallen in love with the exclamation point. That's a cardinal sin, folks.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not melting into some emo hissyfit here. I love my job and am so incredibly lucky to be here. I'm just saying that my already less-than-stellar motivation as far as writing goes has taken a hit here. Yeah.

On a completely unrelated note, does anyone want to pick me up from SFO on the 9th and over the course of about nine or ten hours, take me to San Jose Airport so I can fly to Arizona? It could be awesome.

A Termite Walks Into A Bar And Says, "Bartender"

2005-02-16T03:01:00.000-08:00

Top 5 Albums of my Sapporo Vacation

1) Bloc Party - Silent Alarm (#2(!), Sendai HMV Hit Chart)
2) The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
3) Supersuckers - Must've Been High
4) Al Green - Let's Stay Together
5) Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

Yes, this means I bought a Bright Eyes album. In Japan. I can hear Pancakes laughing already. On the topic of the Shins, did my eyes deceive me? The other day, Mike alerted me that he knew very few of the current Live 105 top 10 songs. I checked, and indeed there were some interesting new bands. Kasabian was on there 4 or 5 times. Those guys remind me of the Stereo MCs for some reason. The Shins were number 3, and the song was "New Slang". Eh? Great song, one of my favorites, but strange that it would be a "modern rock" hit. 4 years after it was released. Hmm. The Shins are one of the only bands I know that sound better the less straightforward they are. Them, Nilsson and Roxette. Anyway, moving on...I went to Sapporo with about 80 another teachers, and now I think I want to move there. You can never get lost! It has a grid system, with the zero point being this giant tower near all the fun stuff. So if you're wasted, you can navigate either with the tower or tell a taxi the numbers where you want to be (example: minami ju-ni(south 12), nishi yon(west 4) onagaishimasu). This is convenient. Also, Sapporo has delicious crab and lamb. It would take me years to get sick of that. The skiing is real nice, too, though when I was there I spent a good deal of time helping my friends who had never snowboarded before. Sapporo also has a horror movie-themed karaoke palace named Thriller. It's so goth. And they have Smiths songs. D would love it. The Sapporo beer factory is full of beer and the aforementioned lamb. All you can eat and drink for about 30 bucks. Sapporo also has hot girls who when you say, "Anata wa kirei desu (you're beautiful)," smile excitedly and exclaim, "Arigato!" I heart Sapporo.

In other news, Tom sent me bad beef jerky and if I want my Terrell Owens book and mysterious "calendar" that came with it, I need to send a letter to Osaka's International Post Office Center telling them it's okay to incinerate the jerky and rid the world of possible cow evil. I'm stalling, but I figure I need to do it at some time. Such a waste of jerky. I talked to D the other day but it was kind of stupid because I was all, "Let's go to Emeryville" and she's like "Okay" and then we sort of ran out of things to talk about. I suppose I realized that the D experience requires Korean chicken in your grill and Foreigner on the stereo. I can't wait to go to Emeryville. I'll be back on March 13th for a couple of weeks, if anyone wants to buy me a beer.

Realizations: Lonestar's "Amazed" rips off Bryan Adam's "Please Forgive Me". Ted Leo's "Parallel or Together?" has the same chord progression as My Bloody Valentine's "Sometimes".

P.S. I'm staying here another year. Surprise!

It Just Wasn't Cold Enough Here

2005-02-07T19:11:00.000-08:00

I'm off to Sapporo, on the northern island of Hokkaido, for the next four days. They have this famous snow festival there now, with giant sculptures made of ice...I decided it was high time for me to get my culture on. The softball girls want me to bring back butter candy. My neighbors have requested Sapporo's famous crab, chocolate, and ramen, which put together, sounds quite unappetizing. I am going to spent this evening on a ferry. It leaves the city of Sendai at 8:00 PM, and gets to Hokkaido at 9:00 AM. I'm guessing that the other foreign teachers and I might do a bit of drinking on the boat...I was surprised to see my name in Sexpigeon, and with a Peter Cetera song reference, as well! Very exciting. The only other time I can think of my being in there (Beach Boys covers aside) was something about giving head to the sounds of Dire Straits' "Walk of Life". That too was awesome. Anyway, only other news I can think of is that on Saturday I sang Evanescence at a snack bar with a 22-year-old named Mika who was wearing the most ridiculously short semi-pleated skirt ever. She looked and sounded incredible. Just like Amy Lee, if not better. Mika's mother was there too, and the Scotsman was offering to be my wingman because, well, her mom was hot. Anyway, what surprised me is that none of this (Evanescence, hot girl in skirt with mom, Scotsman) surprised me. Hmm. Okay, I'm gone. Do yourselves a favor and download the new Electric Six from Teaching the Indie Kids.

Oh, I Can Smile About It Now, But At the Time, It Was Terrible

2005-01-24T23:39:00.000-08:00

Top 4 Amusing Things About My Friends
1. Pancakes in the medical profession
2. Jesse feeling left out when he already has wine, women and song
3. Kai in Jamaica
4. Gabe lamenting over dashed hopes and dreams

Top 5 Reasons Why Japan Rules
1. Short skirts in winter
2. Going skiing with your students on school days
3. 100 yen stores
4. Getting wasted with co-workers and singing "Babe" by Styx
5. Cosplay

Top 5 Omissions From the Other Top 5s
1. A.C. Newman - The Slow Wonder
2. Megumi
3. 1-3
4. The Smiths - Louder Than Bombs
5. Relearn English grammar

Top 5 Needs of the San Francisco 49ers
1. Running back
2. Offensive linemen
3. Defensive back
4. Quarterback
5. Everything else

Top 5 Japanese Conbinis (Convenience Stores)
1. Lawson Station
2. 7-11
3. Family Mart
4. Yamazaki
5. Save On

Worst Conbini: Sunkus

Top 7 Things Right Now
1. Slipping on the ice and turning my hands and right knee into meat
2. Appreciating that Yamagata weather prevents you from feeling pain
3. Visiting Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka and the States in March
4. Sapporo Snow Festival February 8th-12th
5. Keiko winning the speech contest
6. Playing Weezer's "Photograph" (with the entire English department) at the school assembly to motivate 3rd year students, based on the inspiring phrase, "If you want it, you can have it"
7. Rock

2005-01-24T08:29:00.000-08:00

I have been so busy the last couple of weeks. Things have been really interesting...for some reason, they keep entrusting me with more responsibility at the school. Say what? I keep on telling them it's me, to no avail. I already had 15 classes a week last year. Randy 2005 is busier. I've been leading the composition supergroup for some time now, I've got two classes I'm teaching all by myself on Wednesday, and I'm giving a presentation at a all-girls high school in Tokyo in March. And here I thought I'd be all bored in the country. I promise to update further tomorrow.

Rock Over Tokyo, Rock Over Shinjuku

2005-01-02T08:38:00.000-08:00

I am sure glad to have Hughie as a friend. Not only is he a great person, but he is so keen on the scene, I always get my rock/metal fix while here in Tokyo. My goodness, New Year's was fun. In lieu of details, I give you lists:

Top 5 Albums of 2004:
1. The Arcade Fire - Funeral
2. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Shake The Sheets
3. Claire's Holiday Mix
4. Hot Snakes - Audit In Progress
5. Orange Range - Musiq

Top 5 Classes:
1. 2-3
2. 2-5
3. 1-5
4. 1-1
5. 2-6

Top 5 Japanese Idols:
1. Rina Uchiyama
2. Chinatsu Wakatsuki
3. Aya Ueto
4. Yui Ichikawa
5. Rena Tanaka

Top 5 Albums To Listen To When You're an American in Yamagata-ken:
1. Jawbreaker - 24 Hour Revenge Therapy
2. The Decemberists - Her Majesty
3. Jay-Z - The Black Album
4. Exploding Hearts - Guitar Romantic
5. The Jesus Lizard - Goat

Top 5 Things To Do In 2005:
1. Learn Japanese and stop talking like an infant
2. Get Tomorin, the cute Japanese teacher, to tutor you
3. Help sannensei get high scores on exams, help ninensei and ichinensei learn to speak and write better
4. Start emo-core post-punk band with students. If not that, metal
5. Decide if you are going to stay here or not. If so, buy car

Dear Santa

2004-12-28T06:14:00.000-08:00

I know you were very busy on Christmas Eve with all the Playstation portables and Friends DVDs for the kids, so I can sorta understand why you couldn't make it up here to lil' ol' Yamagata Prefecture and Randy. Besides, I was a naughty boy this year and you were probably better off avoiding all the snow here. It would've made your sleigh malfunction or something. Yes Santa, I imagine this is what Buffalo, New York feels like. Do you visit there? I hear its extremely cold and snowy there too. Except they have chicken wings. Delicious wings. Yes. Anyway, I do hope that you did give the proper love to all of the peeps out there who truly deserved it. Like Beeby, who is the kindest of souls. She could always use something shiny and baublish. Kat could use someone who appreciates car mixes and chain restaurants. Did you get her someone? Good hair is a must...D could do with a little joy in her little dark heart. Baby Jesus isn't helping her. You know what to do. I think it would involve someone whose name starts with M and ends with Orrissey. Make it happen, Lord knows it would be the first time...I hope you left a butt nugget in Dave Eggers' stocking, for reminding me of pretentious literary scenes and the people who love them, with his oddly mainstream Best American Nonrequired Reading series. It was like I was in Berkeley again. Indie comics, essays about transsexuals and language as a control device...it's a love/hate thing. Moving on...I hope you gave the band rawk, Eric water wings, Martens a haircut, Emma a country twang, Ming something beautiful to write a song about, Punkin and Mandapants gossip, Gabe a Chargers playoff victory, Claire sass (oh wait she doesn't need it), Oscar 40s and Pho, Pancakes some knitting stuff, and Heather a pastry job. Oh, and Kyoko something to make her less accident prone. Anyway, this is my way of saying no worries about that present thing. I don't take it personal like. My parents brought me the new Hot Snakes record and my short fiction anthologies, which was sufficient rock and read for me. Plus, I feel pretty blessed to have had a number of things this year: great friends and family back home, the best and genkiest students in the world here (not to mention a kickass softball team), a bunch of local nogoodniks in my area who can appreciate nomihodai (all you can drink) and tasteless baby jokes, and all in all, a little bit of significance added to this floating existence. And run-on sentences and fragments. I always have those. Happy holidays, everyone!

The Saddest Day In Metal History

2004-12-09T06:51:00.000-08:00

It was about time to make this giant post about how my parents were here for five days and how they drove me crazy because they're as stubbornly American as I am. However, it was going to end on an uplifting yet saddening note because eventually I got used to them and remembered I loved them, and when they left I was homesick and wanted to go to the taco trucks with you people. But that part of the post was abbreviated severely because of several happenings today. The best thing that happened was that Kat updated our blog with a sweet e-letter and I officially love her more than EVER. Which is a lot, friends. The worst thing is that some crazy fuck went onstage and shot Dimebag Darrell five or six times, and now he's dead. For some reason this is more upsetting and shocking than Elliott Smith's death. Pantera was one of those distinctly high school bands. There is a special place in my heart for them and Primus and Laibach...as much as one wants to remember their high school soundtrack as being only the Cure and the Dead Kennedys, I recall somebody getting so excited when they bought Cowboys From Hell, and playing it nonstop for weeks. Pantera rocked young minds. Even though a lot of those minds belonged to assholes named Vince or Brock who ended up joining the Marines after beating the shit out of you in high school, that wasn't Pantera's fault. Not entirely. The point is, I think they were a better band than a lot of people gave them credit for. This may have something to do with me being raised in the suburbs.

Kakowarui

2004-11-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

I've been really busy at school, preparing the kids for composition tests. Next week, they have four days of tests, and they left me in charge of teaching them how to write effectively. Could have been worse, I guess...they could have left me responsible for speech instruction again. In my spare time, I do a lot of stuff other than blog: practice my Japanese with the cute teachers in the staff room; wonder if Putin wants to overtake Bush as Biggest Jackass in the International Community; make tentative agreements on staying another year; mull over this decision and freak myself out; pour myself coffee; lament the temporary stoppage of softball practice because of the impending tests; design lessons for the students. I also listen to a lot of music, courtesy of my favorite music blogs. The new ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead sounds like Sunny Day Real Estate, sort of. It's epic, and I'm into epic these days. The new Gwen Stefani sounds like New Order. This is a good and bad thing. The Arcade Fire are brilliant. Yes. I find out random things, like how Ted Leo recorded his latest record at James Iha's studio in Manhattan. And how snow monkeys (saru) are very populous now, so much that they're considered a nuisance. People are attacking the monkeys before they destroy their crops, with cool things like dart guns and slingshots. So yeah, things are pretty much the same around here. How are you?
P.S. I finished Battle Royale in about two days. It reminded me of Gabe, who revels in human frailty. That book is all about human frailty.

Job Responsibilities

2004-11-14T06:57:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a while...last week I was in a nearby city for a prefectural mid-year conference. During the day, I attempted to be as outwardly professional as possible. My nights were spent getting way too drunk with way too many people. I sang the Smiths and Al Green at karaoke. Matty and Peter were convinced that I had an opportunity for wonderful things with a beautiful girl named Mio, but this was sadly not the case.

It Was Just Like It, Except Scarlett Johansson Was A Couple Of Guys With Hoodies And Shaved Heads

2004-11-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

Tokyo was so much fun. First of all, the 2 1/2 hour shinkansen ride was much better than I thought it'd be. My seat happened to be located next to an attractive young woman named Hiroe, who, I found out, loves Britpop, artsy novels and pub games. She also happened to work in Nagai City. Oh yeah, and she also spoke very good English. So that was nice. I met up with Hughie and his friends Jane and Ryoko at the Akihabara station, and we proceeded to search the area for a notorious cosplay cafe. It was not nearly as cool as we thought it was going to be; just a bunch of girls who dressed up in maid outfits and were super polite, even by Japanese standards. The coffee was really good, though. We then went to Ueno Park, where we drank beer, ate takoyaki and peoplewatched. Hughie and I then split for the 20,000 Volt club, where Melt Banana was playing. There was, sadly, no Japanese Cramps. However, Vivasick, Freaks, Senseless Apocalypse, Nice View, and No Value played. And they rocked so hard. They all played in this style Hughie called "fastcore", which sounded like a mix of thrash and grindcore. We spent a good deal of the evening harassing the lead singer from metal band Fuck On The Beach because he wears his own band shirts and thinks he's the next Axl Rose. I stole a stage pass from the club with the name "Chinpira" on it, which means, "Punk ass bitch". The next day, Hughie decided to call in sick and humor me and my super tourist self. We went to Shibuya, where they filmed the scene in Lost in Translation with all the umbrellas in the street and the giant dinosaur on the side of the building. Sadly, there was no dinosaur this time. But Hughie and I got to be pixels on the screen, since they have a camera that films and projects whenever the people cross the intersection. We went to the massive English book section of Tower Records and I bought the new short story collection by Stuart Dybek, conversational Japanese books, Spin magazine, Alex Garland's The Beach, and the English translation of Battle Royale. This was super exciting for the inaka boy from the mountainlands. I almost cried. But I don't play softball. I am simply the advisor/mascot. We then went to the Harajuku area, where girls and boys dress up super goth and let foreigners take pictures of them. We bought more alcohol at the convenience store first. I caught myself saying, "There's no public in drinking laws". We stood around for a while and drank chu-hi and ate onigiri, since I wanted to go to the Meiji shrine nearby and get a gift for my co-workers. But for some crazy reason, they don't let you eat or drink in the shrine. So we mingled amongst the goths and the gaijin. After I got the gift (a special pack of red bean things and a box of cookies), I remembered that I wanted to buy the new Kings of Convenience album. We went to this place called Disk Union (Hughie's favorite, since they have a floor called "Punk Market"). I walked in looking for the Kings and the new Hot Snakes, and left with the new Elliott Smith and Pinback records instead. Not bad. But so much more emo. I hate myself already. To finish off the day, we went back to Shibuya and sold out. On the second floor of the building with the giant screen is a Starbucks. All the other coffee places were full, I swear. The view was incredible.

So

2004-11-01T06:20:00.000-08:00

Y'all doin' that voting thing? Might be prudent. I am spending stupid amounts of money to get my ballot in. Something about being in another country puts the idiocy of an administration into focus. Probably all the extra time on my hands; sometimes I actually read newspapers and stuff.

I'm going to take the bullet train down to Tokyo this weekend. On Saturday, Hughie and I will experience rock in the form of Melt Banana and the Japanese Cramps. We have much excitement and reservation about the latter. Sunday, Hughie has to work, so that means wandering time in the giant city. Should be awesome.

Too Bad He's Too Busy Fixing Toilets To Fully Enjoy It

2004-10-28T02:54:00.000-07:00

They did it. They actually did it. The Red Sox won the World Series. I'm guessing Kai will drink lots of Red Stripe in celebration. It was strange, but it felt good that a bunch of former A's contributed mightily in that historic comeback against the Yankees and subsequent sweep of St. Louis. How can you not like Johnny Damon, Keith Foulke, and Mark Bellhorn? Foulke's a non-prototypical closer whose career was almost dead two years ago (until the A's saved it); Bellhorn is just, well, unspectacular in every way EXCEPT hitting clutch as fuck home runs during an unprecedented World Series drive. And Damon? Well, we'll probably still make fun of his metrosexual swing. We being Gabe, Tom, and I. But Damon's the best because after he clonked his head last year in Oakland, motherfucker went crazy. Straight up. Best hair in sports. That includes Pedro, Grant Wistrom and Ben Wallace.

P.S. Today, I played "Hey Jude" as part of a demonstration class for a professor visiting from Tokyo Gakuen University. And totally fuckin' rocked it. They're calling me "Randy McCartney" now. I've never been more offended. And the girls do that shy giggle thing more than ever when they see me now. It's a rough life. In tribute to Claire, I played some Mark Mothersbaugh from the Rushmore soundtrack as the background music to the "Make your voices louder, fuckers" reading practice. That was cool. But not as cool as finding out that the visiting professor is a Stanford alumnus and talking shit about Palo Alto, the Big Game, BART, Telegraph, and that stupid tree. Yeah, that was cooler. Especially making him concede that Stanford is a lost football program with Buddy Teevens in control. And that Jeff Tedford is a genius.

P.P.S. Other good news: Yui and Yukika, the percussion section of the brass band, are going to teach me the drum parts of Interpol's "Obstacle 1". They insist that it's easy. Considering that I've never been able to play more than two things at a time (ie. bass drum and snare), it may be more of a challenge than they think.

P.P.P.S. I seem to have severely underestimated genmai group. Iide Agricultural School's brown rice is now officially the best brown rice in ALL OF JAPAN. Yes. That's right. They won the national competition about a week ago. And maybe I'm making generalizations here, but I'm thinking that Japan's got a few rice growers here and there. So I'm pretty happy for them kids.

Mosh Pit Steamroller, You Are!!!

2004-10-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

It seems that the earthquake the other day was bigger than I thought. I was near the epicenter when it happened and it didn't seem like a big deal, since nothing fell on me. Nothing fell on anybody. So I wasn't worried. But apparently, things fell. Like houses. Now I understand why Kendra and Amy wrote me emails inquiring about my health. I'm fine, sitting here, being ignorant and listening to Rock.

Born Slippy

2004-10-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

Pancakes told me I don't update enough. I always listen to Pancakes.

I rented the Underworld live album the other day and can't stop listening to it. It makes me want to fill my duffle bag with money and walk with purpose. It was a typical weekend. I did laundry and went to the city. It rained. Girls looked good. There was an earthquake. I spent a lot of money on beer and fried octopus.

The softball team beat up on Yonezawa Higashi High School this morning. Ace pitcher Noriko is worried that the other teachers will discover that she dyed her hair a little red. I suppose that's justified, since I noticed. At the academic high school, dyeing your hair means you're a troublemaker or something. Yet they don't have a problem when I shave my head. Strange. The 49ers have a bye week, so I get spared comments from Gabe and Kai for once. Speaking of Kai, I keep waiting for him to post about the Sox and their historic comeback, or their victory in Game 1 of the World Series. Maybe he doesn't want to jinx it.

I Can See You Now, As Though Through A Screen/A Smile on Your Face, Your Fingers Dripping Kerosene

2004-10-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

I was listening to the Mountain Goats' "Going to Tennessee" today, and thought of Emma. And how even though I'm in Japan, and others are in Jamaica and New York and Seattle and whatnot, her culture shock may be the worst of all of us. The teachers at my school are crazy; they are leaving me in charge of 2/3rds of the 2nd year students on Wednesday. All by my lonesome. I can't decide whether to show Remember the Titans or Rudy. I rented them both though, so I'm covered. The kids were really fun today. They taught me some useful Japanese, such as "Kirena onesan wa suki desu ka?" ("Do you love beautiful young girls?"...the softball team is all excited about that one, they want me to say it to other teachers) and I also know the dance steps to some Disney techno remixes. Disney remixes are huge here. Disney rules. It's not uncool to like them when you're a high school student, therefore you have CD releases such as "Disney Mosh Pit" featuring Andrew W.K. covering "The Mickey Mouse March".