NONTALK

Good Commercial

2008-05-07T11:36:00.001-05:00

I found this via Jim Bass-y

Lasagnacat changed my life.

2008-03-04T22:07:00.004-06:00

A few of my co-workers poat and orion shared the lasagnacat videos with me and life has never been the same. I feel like I have been in Plato's cave all my life until this point.

You really must go and watch all of these videos. You will die laughing.

Speak the Hungarian Rapper

2007-11-29T09:13:00.000-06:00

Lyrics

I pray for god
May people make the right decision
I dont want a war
I just want apeace
Stop the war, check this
I hope my black brothers feel the same like me
Dre, Snoop, Puff, Al, Tupac Shakur, rest in peace
he was the best, my respect
yeah come on
I hate terrorists, and i understand
September 11
I never forget you
Rest in peace
Catch the bad men
Stop your plan
Bin Laden
Thank Allah
Yeah come on
Stop the war, thats right

Chorus:
Sometimes people make a war
Don't know what it's for
Business...
Say you stop the war
Yeah come on, once again

Sometimes people fight the war
Don't know what it's for
Business...
Say you stop the war
Yeah thats right, come on

I dont want a war
I just want to live and love each other
My family, my friends
Nobody wants war
Life is short
Yeah, come on, that's right, check

They just simple people, one simple life
Simple land, simple thing
We have so many places
World is big
There's place enough
Yhat's right, come on, yeah

Don't make war anymore
Show the right way, I pray
don't kill each other
I don't want a war
Stop your business
I pray for god: stop the war
Yeah, come on, that's right

Chorus
We don't want a war:
Takács Tamás
Varga Miklós
Bebe
Nal C
My respect. SPEAK.
I'll be back, peace.

'45 Things That Make You Feel Bad' by Jeff Gavin

2007-11-26T12:08:00.000-06:00

No one ever reads this great blog by Jeff Gavin (no relation).... except for me. So I thought I would post one of his funniest items. Enjoy.

Falling in a manhole
Punching your face till it hurts
Being sprayed with cold water
Being shot at the supermarket
Not having eyes
Getting mail... full of anthrax
Taking a nap on a busy road
Hearing that your favorite song doesn't exist
Lying in the rain outside
Really hot towels fresh from the oven
Chocolate milkshake poured on head
Eating soap
Whooping cough
A good conversation with a frenchman
A beached whale
Finding a bloody finger in your coat from last winter
Laughing at a one-legged dog
Poison
Midnight vampire fights
Sprinklers running through you
Laughing to stay alive
Having someone tell you to cover your face
Laughing at a person caught in a cement mixer
Ugly Friends
Accidentally overhearing that your dog died
Waking up and realizing you only have a few hours left to live
Your first kick in the kidney (either the very first or with a new partner)
Making mud pies and having to eat them
Not kicking a new puppy
Having some play with your hare, without asking
Bitter acorns
Cold brisket
When the road is your only friend
Swings swinging on you
When a cute stranger gleeks in your eye
Being a chocolate chip cookie for Halloween
When your friends get to live in a house made of cookies
Holding hands with Edward Scissorhands
Running into an old friend going 60 miles an hour
Watching someone throwup when the recieve a present from you
Watching the sun eat your mom
Not being able to get out of bed
Knowing that you're wanted in 51 states
Getting the measles from someone you don't like
The fear of not knowing

Best Icons Ever

2007-11-08T14:28:00.000-06:00

Mentioned in an earlier post and referring to this rant.

In The Know: Is The Government Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough?

2007-10-29T11:56:00.000-05:00

Here's some more non-original content to make your life better. You will/should pee your pants when you watch this.

Via The Onion

The true cost of an iPhone: $17,670

2007-10-12T12:42:00.000-05:00

Here is a funny take on the iPhone by a guy named Brett Arends.

A $599 iPhone comes with a minimum service plan of $60 a month for two years. Outlay: $2,039.

But if it's not a work expense, a customer in, say, the 25% tax bracket actually had to earn $2,720 to pay the bill.

Take an iPhone customer who's 30 years old and is not maxing out contributions to his or her 401(k) retirement plan (few are).

In that case, the $2,720 could have been invested tax free. Earning a pretty reasonable 5.5% after inflation over the next 35 years, it would have grown to ... $17,670.

Then again, you could say the same thing as a car or a hamburger or a shoelace.

You Alright! I learned it by watching you!

2007-10-04T13:53:00.000-05:00

Anyone remember this? I do. I actually repeat this phrase quietly to myself often. Probably like 20 times a year. And I am not kidding I actually do.

Another Chinese toy recalled...

2007-10-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

Ok, so my father-in-law sends a lot of funny emails. And my wife forwarded this one to me. Too good not to post.

SlapNuts™

2007-08-29T15:40:00.000-05:00

I would do anything for LOST

2007-07-25T16:44:00.000-05:00

UPDATE: Jared Lukes purchased Season 3 for me in exchange for a little help with a website! I am really enjoying it. Thanks Jared.

My wife and I really enjoyed watching LOST seasons 1 & 2 on dvd. I really, really want to watch season 3 now, but it doesn't come out on DVD until freaking December! The good news is that I could download all the episodes from this little known program which I have installed code-named iTunes. The bad news is that it would cost about $35 to purchase all episodes.

For some reason I just can't justify spending $35 on this. But I would LOVE it if someone else did. So... I am pretty much willing to do anything if someone will buy me the iTunes season pass. The most creative idea wins.

P.S. Why do people (like me) think that it is ok just to ask people to give them stuff on their blogs?

Favorite Books in 2007: The Psychic Sasquatch and their UFO Connection by Jack "Kewaunee" Lapseritis. M.S.

2007-06-01T11:45:00.000-05:00

The Story of Evolution

2007-05-18T15:31:00.000-05:00

Street Evangelist Saves 300 Souls From Enjoying Park

2007-04-24T09:20:00.000-05:00

This made me laugh hard. The title is funnier than the article.

Read article at The Onion

IRS Joke

2007-04-18T14:01:00.000-05:00

The IRS decides to audit Rick, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Rick shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, and you explain this by claiming that you win money gambling. Simply put, the IRS does not find that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Rick. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. You’re on."

Rick says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Rick removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

Rick says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Rick isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Rick removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Rick's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Rick asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Rick stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

Rick's attorney, however, moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when my client told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

Got this joke in an email from Siloca Sneek

300

2007-03-28T17:11:00.000-05:00

Found this online somewheres. It made me laugh.

Gnome Chompsky

2007-03-26T17:00:00.000-05:00

Props to the Master Chompster

SNL - TV Funhouse: Maraka

2007-03-26T15:54:00.000-05:00

OK, so I don't post any original content anymore. Oh well.

Just say "Yes" to drugs

2007-03-05T19:12:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it. The Reagans are total drug-promoters. Makes me totally want to say YES to drugs.

VIDEO: Monkey with Robot Arm

2007-02-21T12:27:00.000-06:00

OK so honestly, this is something I am really fascinated by. I remember reading about some scientists hooking up sensors to a quadriplegic man's brain enabling him to operate a computer mouse after training his mind to do so [Link]. What is cooler than that? Answer: NOTHING is cooler than that.

I really think that in 100 years we might not have to do much manual labor anymore. We could just put on our brain-caps and have our robots do everything. Also, I doubt that we will have keyboards and mice. We could browse the web with our thoughts.

As for the monkey in the video. I am not sorry for him. He gets to sit in that cozy box and eat as much fruit as he wishes. Just like Caesar.

Blocks Series: Railway II

2007-02-15T16:32:00.000-06:00

I don't think I have ever laughed harder in my entire life as I did when I read this description of the packaging for this children's board game which I stumbled upon.

Seriously, stop what you are doing, and read this post from top to bottom.

Mormon Temple

2007-02-13T10:43:00.000-06:00

My wife and I recently took a vacation to Hawaii. I'ma post some photos here and there so that you, yes you, can also enjoy our vacation.

The beach house we stayed at was very close to a Mormon temple, so we thought we would make a visit. Here is one of the photos I took.

A Chat with Chris Brenna the Holocaust Denier

2007-02-12T16:38:00.000-06:00

Christopher:: do you want to here my holocaust joke?
Jesse:: yes I want to here (sic) it
Christopher:: Knock knock
Jesse:: who's there?
Christopher:: more like WHAT'S there
Jesse:: I don't get it
Christopher:: I mean, I want you to ask "what's there" instead of "who's there?"
Jesse:: oh ok
do over
Christopher:: knock knock
Jesse:: What's there?
Christopher:: the Holocaust!
Jesse:: the Holocaust who?
Christopher:: no, no, no...you're supposed to say "the Holocaust what?"
Jesse:: crap
do over
Christopher:: knock knock
Jesse:: What's there?
Christopher:: the Holocaust!
Jesse:: the Holocaust what?
Christopher:: that's my point...what Holocaust?
Jesse:: I am laughing
Christopher:: get it?
Jesse:: I get it... you are a holocaust denier
Christopher:: I heard that from my Iranian friend
Jesse:: I'll bet you did

Edward James Olmos

2007-02-08T11:56:00.000-06:00

A 7 Deadly Sins Diagram

2007-02-06T12:18:00.000-06:00

This chart is better than 97% of all seminary papers written this year. My favorites are BG, CD & CF.

I found this while reading boing-boing on my netvibes page.