Johnny Knuckles

Hussein Economic Policy

2009-07-14T23:42:00.002-04:00

The current Hussein Administration is following a troubling economic policy. (And no, not the troubling economic policy of Hussein shoving banana republic socialism up the American body politic like a teamster reaming a convention hooker.)But Johnny digresses.The troubling economic policy is this: Islam does not tolerate usury or paying interest on loans.When you borrow money within an Islamic

European-Style Socialism Would Be An Improvement

2009-06-09T13:30:00.003-04:00

Conservatives who fear Obama push for a European-style socialism are wrong.Obama doesn't have that much class.What Americans can look forward to is South American-style socialism.

Stat

2009-05-20T23:08:00.003-04:00

This says that 1 in four Americans text while they drive. Do 1 in 4 Americans even drive? Or did they mean 1 in 4 Americans who drive?This report is yet another attempt to influence more legislation using sloppy research.Texting while driving should not be illegal.However shoving the PDA far up the rectal cavity of any drivers who cause an accident while texting should be.h/t Drudge

Paying Back That American Debt

2009-05-20T11:13:00.003-04:00

You know all that multi-trillion debt you, your kids, and grandkids, great-grandkids, ad infinitum owe the government?If you can't pay off a debt, you have to work it off and/or pay huuuuuuge interest rates.So this is what Americans can look forward to in the years ahead:(a) Crippling South American-style inflation as the government prints money faster than a whore wipes herself between johns.

Mrs. Obama Get Ironic

2009-05-08T09:10:00.005-04:00

“Everyone should have a chief of staff and a set of personal assistants, (Mrs) Obama said with a laugh as she spoke before a crowd of business executives...”Ha ha ha.It’s funny because she’s finally first in line at the public trough and she's doing something the bourgeois have been excoriated for since 1964.No word from the Washington Post whether the “crowd of executives” shared the

Next Photo-Op: Strangle Kittens

2009-05-06T13:11:00.003-04:00

Was Brown visiting Windsor Castle?Pity the hapless aide who allowed the nearly blind Brit PM to be photographed in the same room as a swastika.

The Conservative Challenge

2008-11-19T12:50:00.002-05:00

Does the world needs another “What Republicans Need to Do Next” think piece? And does it need it from an obscure blog written by a recovering poster child for Tourette Syndrome?Hell yeah. No one else is.So here is Knuckles way for Republicans to stop behaving like asswipes* and start becoming leaders again.As a note, there will be a lot of marketing analogies. They are somewhat limited analogies,

Whaddabunchafuckingoofs Pt. 3

2008-11-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

Originally written 7/27/04Via AP/Yahoo...Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, demonstrates the set-up on a 12-foot-tall effigy of U.S. President Bush (news - web sites) with fake flames shooting out his pants. (AP/Jeff T. Green)Because Ben is a Democrank, his assclownery isn't technically news. But if Ben were an outspoken conservative and the effigy was a dues-paying member of the

“Senator Kennedy on line one, sir.”

2008-11-17T11:00:00.001-05:00

Brit billionaire Sir Richard Branson crossing the English Channel in a Gibbs Aquada amphibious car. (AP photo)Until Thanksgiving, Knuckles will be ladling out the Pre-Thanksgiving Leftovers: all the Drafts From The Past that weren’t originally worthy of blog publication.This one probably wasn’t in bad enough taste in 2004, but it is now. So here ya go.Bon appetite!

Bringing Back The Draft

2008-11-15T02:10:00.003-05:00

While weeding past posts, Knuckles noticed a lot of unposted drafts. A lot.So in the interests of cleaning up the debris of half-baked thoughts and drunken rants, Knuckles will post the best of these sullen outbursts until Thanksgiving.As enter the Obama Era of Brightness Hope Change, let us clean up all the wicked thoughts of war, Bush, and jihadapalooza.So for the next several days:•Forget that

House Cleaning

2008-11-15T00:33:00.002-05:00

Knuckles is atoning for putting this lovely blog up on blocks for so long.First, losing the great readers that once pounded the bar and demanded high octane straight shots.The other is going through old posts and purging the spam comments.Jesus, that takes a lot of clicks. But if a broken, bloody stump of an index finger is price that Knuckles has to pay, then dammit, he’ll pay it.

And Stay Out

2008-11-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

Deadwood that drifted into the Leftist weedy pond.Ken “Cakewalk” AdelmanScott “What Happened?” McClellanColin “Wind Finger” PowellChristopher “Standing Athwart History Yelling, Wait For Me!” Buckley (pity)Names will be added.

What Did Pakistan Do To Piss Off Our Lord?

2008-11-14T16:59:00.013-05:00

Knuckles has a good number of readers from Pakistan. Senga yai!Well, they’re either readers or twats leaving comment spam.In any case, may you guys can tell us what do you think of Lord Obama waving the United States Armed Forces in your direction?In our range-of-the-moment society, this could just be considered “old” news. Even electioneering pandering. (Obama: Supporting the invasion of

Standing Our Ground

2008-11-14T12:02:00.006-05:00

The fight to define conservatism continues.We all know a crapulent liberal when we hear one. These creatures are not the problem facing conservatives.The problem facing conservatives is conservatives.Knuckles came to two realizations today.First, liberals will never lower taxes. They will never expand the power of citizens. They will only expand powers of government.Now, they will campaign as

Self-Administered Prostate Exam

2008-11-13T10:25:00.002-05:00

Don’t like the sound of that, chum?Then here’s a movement you may prefer:

Nice Predictin’, Johnny

2008-11-10T21:29:00.005-05:00

This is why you get your straight shot of Knuckles. Howard Dean is stepping-down-to-spend-more-time-with-his-family-no-really-he-is!-even-though-they-can’t-stand-the-sight-of-his-mirthless-smirking-gob.Key graph:The disagreement broke into open warfare in 2006, when Dean clashed over money and strategy with New York Sen. Chuck Schumer and Illinois Rep. Rahm Emanuel...Today it’s new. Two days ago

Big Tents Are For Freak Shows

2008-11-08T09:34:00.011-05:00

Every political leader must define his power then consolidate it.These powers are over and above the statute power of his office.*For instance, John McCain’s power is his close relationship with Democrats, often at the expense of Republicans. However he could not consolidate his power because of his, let’s put this nicely, “fuck you” attitude towards conservatives. And for Knuckles’ foreign

Wreckers

2008-11-05T22:32:00.002-05:00

By the late 1920s, most of Russia’s skilled workers such as engineers and technicians had either fled or been purged.Filling the gap were skilled workers and theoretical Marxists from Europe, particularly Germany. Engineers Without Borders types.They went to Soviet Russia to help build the New World. Change and Hope kind of guff.What they discovered was a shitshow.They were expected to meet

Personality vs. Character 2

2008-11-04T17:34:00.001-05:00

Well, shit in Johnny’s beard and punch it. According to Google, Johnny Knuckles is a Global Authority on personality vs. character.Actually, this site would rather be a Global Authority on doing tequila body shots with your best friend’s fiancé.But then you can’t have everything.

Shout Out to Pakistan

2008-11-04T11:14:00.007-05:00

From Sitemeter.com. Looks like folks all over the world need that hard shot of wisdom they can only get here at Knuckle’s Whiskey Tango Bar.Question to Pakistan: What do you think when Obama says that U.S. troops should concentrate on Afghanistan and Pakistan?Do Pakistanis think Obama would come in with troops or cruise missles? Or do Pakistanis hope He is just blowing smoke when he threatens an

One Last Vote!

2008-11-04T10:13:00.006-05:00

First Show: July 4, 1776 Slot Time: Prime TimeGenre: Republic America••• Never Jumped Day One OtherResults