EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO MY OPINION

Ben Folds: Singer, Songwriter, TV Judge?

2009-12-16T21:58:00.000-08:00

First, a shout out to Nick, my fellow Ben Folds fan. Ben's been classing up NBC this week. Have you seen him?

The best reason to watch the newest talent show The Sing Off is the multi-talented Mr. Folds, my all-time favorite piano rocker and now my favorite TV panelist. His judging flows as whimsically from his distinct musical perspective as does his catalog of personal, ironic and sometimes twisted songs. He instantly elevates a program that would otherwise be just another forgettable singing competition.

You can catch up with missed episodes at Hulu and enjoy his music videos on YouTube.

Here is a sampling of the many moods of Ben Folds, which are often sweetened with a bowl of sugar spiked with salt.

Vengeful: One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces.

Self-effacing: Army.

Bitter and bilingual: Song for the Dumped.

Mockingly envious: Battle of Who Could Care Less.

Mocking his southern heritage: Your Redneck Past.

Wistful and wishful: Where's Summer B?

A romantic cynic: Fair.

A poetic romantic: The Luckiest.

O Come, Emmanuel

2009-12-15T21:12:00.000-08:00

I first saw Amy Grant on MTV in her 1985 Find a Way video. She radiated a wholesome, winsome innocence that was as rare as it was appealing. Her coltish dance moves only added to her authenticity. By the making of this video, Grant had already recorded seven albums and formed a successful songwriting collaboration with Michael W. Smith, whose heavily synthesized keyboards - typical of 1980s pop music - dominated their hit singles.

Emmanuel from 1986 is one of my favorite Christian contemporary and Christmas songs. The lyrics consist of a simple, repetitive praise to Jesus.

Emmanuel, Emmanuel.
Wonderful, Counselor!
Lord of life, Lord of all;
He's the Prince of Peace, Mighty God, Holy One!
Emmanuel, Emmanuel.

This Christmas by Elliott Yamin

2009-12-13T21:20:00.000-08:00

In the history of the American Idol franchise, there has never been a more memorable character or more soulful singer than Elliott Yamin. Elliott was the poor, down-on-his-luck kid turned overnight star based strictly on pure, raw talent. In a contest dominated by veteran performers grasping for one last shot at the brass ring, Elliott came the closest to fulfilling AI's purported search for undiscovered talent.

Just seeing Elliott makes my heart melt. Hearing him jam on a Donny Hathaway classic like A Song for You or This Christmas lifts my spirits and restores my hope.

If you missed season 5 the first time or just miss Elliott like I do, you can relive the magic on American Idol Rewind.

The Friendship Waltz Inspired by Brian Wilson

2009-12-10T22:45:00.000-08:00

I don't blog; therefore, I have a social life.

Well, I haven't blogged for a week - and what a busy week it's been. I have been blessed by wonderful friendships, some of them enduring since childhood, some forged by our young children and aging fitfully like our now adult children, some with Christian brothers and sisters sent by God to hold me up during my marital trauma. One advantage of separation from Mr. Jealous Controller is that I can renew my friendships without fear and feel free to socialize again on work nights - even three work nights in a row. Gasp!

More than six weeks ago, I made a Declaration of Independance - and now I am waltzing with angels again, Brian Wilson style.

Here's to my faithful friends, whom I love, and Brian Wilson, who wrote so many cherished songs that formed the soundtrack of my life, including the following - although he doesn't appear in the video recorded during his infamous reclusive years.

T Party Express: Time Is Running Out

2009-12-03T21:48:00.000-08:00

My T Party Express has finally arrived at its destination. My STBX (soon to be ex-husband) is out of the house forever and I sure don't want to run away from home any more.

I have more cool videos to post than I have grievances, so this format minus the gimmicky title will continue until I tire of it. Time is running out for the T Party Express and my STBX. I have a fun bus to catch.

Muse - Time Is Running Out

Fallin Angel | MySpace Video

Previous stops:

Drive That Fast by Kitchens of Distinction (1991).

Vapour Trail by Ride (1990).

We Gotta Get You a Woman by Todd Rundgren (1970).

I Saw the Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Hello It's Me by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Cold Morning Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).

It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Can We Still Be Friends? by Todd Rundgren (1978).

Time Heals (1981).

Weather with You by Crowded House (1991).

No Blue Skies by Lloyd Cole (1990).

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak (1989).

Blue Skies by Eva Cassidy (1996).

What a Wonderful World by Eva Cassidy and Katie Melua (2008).

Pick Yourself Up by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (1936).

Special by Garbage (1998).

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Kitchens of Distinction

2009-11-30T20:04:00.000-08:00

The T Party Express has a question for you. Do you remember where you were the first time you heard the band Kitchens of Distinction?

Maybe right here, right now, this is your introduction to the alternative trio from South London that recorded four albums from 1986 to 1996. If it is, then I have done my job.

Perhaps you have heard of Patrick Fitzgerald? No, not that Patrick Fitzgerald, but the bassist and lead singer of KOD. His voice sounds familiar, especially if you listen to modern rock radio. There is an uncanny aural resemblance to Paul Banks, the lead singer for Interpol.

I remember the first time I heard KOD's 1991 single Drive That Fast. I was in Bogart's, a cool little club in Long Beach, California, that hosted artists on their way up the wobbly ladder of success and on their way down the swift slide to oblivion. Nirvana played there in 1990 just before Smells Like Teen Spirit broke big. I missed that concert, but enjoyed seeing Concrete Blonde, Screaming Trees, Evan Dando, Julianna Hatfield, Poi Dog Pondering, Steve Kilbey and Marty Willson-Piper of the Church, Material Issue and - last but not least - Jellyfish in such an intimate venue.

Bogart's would show music videos in between live sets - the sort of videos that played randomly on MTV's 120 Minutes but never during the channel's prime time rotation. When the first images of Drive That Fast appeared on the monitors, my interest was immediately caught by the chord-driven guitar lines and Fitzgerald's dry, astringent vocals.

During the 1980s, the rock music industry seemed like a factory for mass-produced hair bands with loud amps that wanted to emulate Van Halen - Eddie, that is. Meanwhile, Johnny Marr of the Smiths single-handedly resurrected the Roger McGuinn school of jingly, jangly lead guitar licks. The Smiths' 1987 breakup left a void that clamored to be filled. KOD never became the second coming of the Smiths, but Drive That Fast has been a cherished favorite for 18 years - and counting.

The lyrics advocate free love between consenting adults as long as it's mutually convenient in the "I like you, but hey I don't want to tie you down or make you uncomfortable" way that never seems to produce long-term happiness. Kids, free love ain't free. Somebody always pays.

Drive That Fast by Kitchens of Distinction (1991).

Previous stops:

Vapour Trail by Ride (1990).

We Gotta Get You a Woman by Todd Rundgren (1970).

I Saw the Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Hello It's Me by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Cold Morning Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).

It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Can We Still Be Friends? by Todd Rundgren (1978).

Time Heals (1981).

Weather with You by Crowded House (1991).

No Blue Skies by Lloyd Cole (1990).

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak (1989).

Blue Skies by Eva Cassidy (1996).

What a Wonderful World by Eva Cassidy and Katie Melua (2008).

Pick Yourself Up by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (1936).

Special by Garbage (1998).

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Vapour Trail by Ride

2009-11-29T09:57:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up in a lovely, smiley, serene mood. It's been less than two weeks since my STBX (soon to be ex-husband) left, taking with him the chaos and emotional violence my family had lived with for four months. When we changed the locks that same day, there was an immediate sense of safety, but peace can be a bit harder to find among the rubble and memories he left behind.

Right now almost anything different than what I associate with him is good and healthy. I have been listening to old mix CDs that hold favorite songs from the time before I knew him - an audio only version of some of the videos I've been posting. I reorganized our bedroom and am now working on other areas of the house. We are broke but far from broken - and fixing to build a stronger life.

One of the songs I am listening to is Vapour Trail by Ride. It's a lush, ethereal, forlorn sort of song, but it doesn't make me sad. I am heartened by the reminder that my STBX is finally gone, leaving only a vapor trail that is already dissolving.

Ride - Vapour Trail

.:Çésar:.™® | MySpace Video

Previous stops:

We Gotta Get You a Woman by Todd Rundgren (1970).

I Saw the Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Hello It's Me by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Cold Morning Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).

It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference by Todd Rundgren (1972).

Can We Still Be Friends? by Todd Rundgren (1978).

Time Heals (1981).

Weather with You by Crowded House (1991).

No Blue Skies by Lloyd Cole (1990).

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak (1989).

Blue Skies by Eva Cassidy (1996).

What a Wonderful World by Eva Cassidy and Katie Melua (2008).

Pick Yourself Up by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (1936).

Special by Garbage (1998).

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Todd Rundgren Relationship Song Cycle

2009-11-28T11:18:00.000-08:00

When I was a teenager, I was blessed with several career options from which to choose and parents who never pushed me in a predetermined direction, including toward matrimony - which was all the more remarkable considering that they were conservative traditionalists in their late 50s. I always enjoyed reading and writing to clarify my thoughts, which developed into a creative writing hobby. I won my share of student author awards, but my first love was music.

After many years of dance and music lessons, I knew for certain that I didn't want to be a public performer. I was fascinated with the behind-the-scenes aspects of studio craft - production, songwriting and arranging. My idols were the exceptional few artists who produced and composed their own work, like Brian Wilson. Lacking confidence in my ability to break into the male-dominated music industry of the 1970s, I chickened out and opted for a safe college major instead. My window of opportunity to follow my dream closed, but music remained the constant companion of my life.

Todd Rundgren was one of the 1970s rock pioneers who most influenced my musical sensibility. A well-rounded prodigy, he produced, composed, arranged and performed his own material and sometimes played all the instruments himself. He embraced technology in the studio and brought it to the stage without sacrificing the emotional intimacy of his often intensely personal lyrics.

A song cycle is a musical sequence unified by a common theme. For example, Brian Wilson's exquisite Pet Sounds is a self-contained song cycle that documents the phases of a relationship from its early promise to disillusionment and heartbreak. Over the course of several albums and decades, Rundgren recorded a series of songs that fit into a similar cycle.

We Gotta Get You a Woman from the album Runt (1970) begins with romantic advice from a worldly wise friend - or so it seems.

In I Saw the Light (1972), two pairs of eyes meet and magic ensues.

Doubt, complacency, fear of being changed by a relationship and a fashion homage to Ziggy Stardust show up in Hello It's Me (1972) to dampen the romance. I blame Liv Tyler's mom, Bebe Buell, for the 1970s gender bender makeup.

In the Cold Morning Light (1972) comes a dawning realization that there will be no happy ending ...

followed by recrimination and regret in It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference (1972).

The 1978 album Hermit of Mink Hollow asks the musical question Can We Still Be Friends? The Magic 8-Ball says, "Outlook not so good."

During the anger or revenge phase of a breakup, a quote attributed to Groucho Marx may temporarily bring some grim satisfaction: "Time wounds all heels." But Time Heals from the 1981 album Healing offers hope to the resilient heart, as well as some nifty early 80s dance moves. Is there anything that Todd Rundgren can't do?

If you were present at the birth of MTV music television, like me you may have a fond remembrance of Todd's video, which played in heavy rotation with the likes of Billy Squier, 38 Special, REO Speedwagon, Rainbow, plus a whole lot of Pat Benatar and Rod Stewart.

The sudden, swift disintegration of my marriage has been more traumatic and disturbing for me than heartbreaking. It makes me almost nostalgic for the poetic angst and uncomplicated pain of lost love. Almost.

Previous stops:

Weather with You by Crowded House (1991).

No Blue Skies by Lloyd Cole (1990).

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak (1989).

Blue Skies by Eva Cassidy (1996).

What a Wonderful World by Eva Cassidy and Katie Melua (2008).

Pick Yourself Up by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (1936).

Special by Garbage (1998).

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

I Am So Thankful

2009-11-26T21:28:00.000-08:00

All my blessings begin and end with God. Thank you, my Alpha and Omega.

Thank you to all my angels - the family, friends and helpers who have redeemed a difficult year and make my life worth fighting for. I love you.

Thanksgiving Day Menu

2009-11-26T15:57:00.000-08:00

This is the Thanksgiving feast I am feeding my family of foodies.

Brunch:

Creme brulee french toast with raspberry maple syrup

Niman Ranch ham steak

Dinner:

Roast turkey (Trader Joe's organic brined turkey)

Homemade cornbread stuffing with chicken apple sausage and fresh sage

Mashed potatoes with turkey gravy

Sweet potato soufflé with hazelnut praline

Green bean casserole with bacon

Fresh cranberry sauce

Peach champagne

Dessert:

Chocolate pecan pie

Pumpkin mousse pie with white chocolate whipped cream

T Party Express: Rockin' the Climategate Scandal

2009-11-25T22:17:00.000-08:00

We at the T Party Express - meaning moi - might be preoccupied with prepping for our Turkey Day feast tomorrow. But I'm never to busy to blog a storm as potentially damaging as the Climategate scandal. Hackers broke into confidential emails generated by the University of East Anglia’s Climatic Research Unit, an organization that promotes global warming policies based on knowingly faulty data.

The Herald Sun in Australia published excerpts from hacked "emails suggesting conspiracy, collusion in exaggerating warming data, possibly illegal destruction of embarrassing information, organised resistance to disclosure, manipulation of data, private admissions of flaws in their public claims and much more. If it is as it now seems, never again will 'peer review' be used to shout down sceptics."

Weather has been employed by songwriters and other poets as a metaphor for changeable romantic conditions - and their approach is just as subjective, arbitrary and emotional as the aforementioned tactics of the manipulative climate change scientists. At least songwriters are generally less inclined to insist that their opinions are indisputable facts - except for the voluble few who prefer the soapbox to the stage.

I heart Neil Finn like few other modern day musicians. He followed older brother Tim into the charmingly ironic and iconic 1980s band Split Enz and soon eclipsed his sibling. Then Tim joined Neil's nearly incomparable quartet-turned-trio-turned quartet, Crowded House, to collaborate on their superlative third album, Woodface, that spawned the single Weather with You.

Always remember and never forget these lyrics: everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you. It's your choice if you rain on somebody else's corn flakes. This video features the brothers Finn backed by drummer Paul Hester, who supported them in Split Enz and Crowded House. Hester was an incorrigible joker who hid the tears of a clown. He hanged himself in a park near his home in 2005.

Another prodigiously gifted yet insufficiently heralded singer-songwriter is Lloyd Cole. I always thought he resembled a younger Tim Finn, but his moody music was more like a folkier guitar-driven take on Jimmy Webb. The lead guitarist is Robert Quine who earned his legend playing with Richard Hell & the Voidoids and Lou Reed. I still don't understand why No Blue Skies wasn't a monster hit. The label won't let me embed the official video, which you can view here, but below is a live version fairly faithful to the recording.

As a bonus, I'm posting the infamous video of Chris Isaak's Wicked Game, which was a contemporary sound-alike of No Blue Skies. Cole's tune was released the year after Wicked Game but actually charted before David Lynch's film Wild at Heart relaunched Wicked Game as Isaak's breakthrough hit. Both songs soar on atmospheric guitar lines that flirt with flat notes in a surprisingly appealing way.

This video always frustrated me a little. Chris Isaak never wavered from his focus on Helena Christensen, but she was way more into the camera than into him. I know which of the two I would choose. Chris Isaak and I were born the same summer, but he is aging beautifully. Back in the early 1990s, my girlfriends and I concert-stalked him, but darned if he wasn't a repeat no-show. We concluded that Chris Isaak is merely a TV and film character and there is no one cool enough to play him in real life.

I saved the best message for last. Eva Cassidy, another underappreciated singer-songwriter, died of cancer in 1996 at the age of 36. She excelled at every genre she attempted, including the 1926 American classic by Irving Berlin, Blue Skies. I hope you will take the undeniably hopeful lyrics set to a deceptively forlorn melody to heart. I do. If you are so inclined, remember to thank He who created the weather and is the only power who can destroy the planet.

I was blue, just as blue as I could be
Ev'ry day was a cloudy day for me
Then good luck came a-knocking at my door
Skies were gray but they're not gray anymore

Blue skies
Smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do I see

Bluebirds
Singing a song
Nothing but bluebirds
All day long

Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days
All of them gone
Nothing but blue skies
From now on

I should care if the wind blows east or west
I should fret if the worst looks like the best
I should mind if they say it can't be true
I should smile, that's exactly what I do

Previous stops:

What a Wonderful World by Eva Cassidy and Katie Melua (2008).

Pick Yourself Up by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (1936).

Special by Garbage (1998).

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

Video Faceoff: Muppet Guitar Hero vs. Hand Farts

2009-11-24T23:51:00.000-08:00

The Muppets Studio recently posted a YouTube video featuring their colorful cast of critters performing Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. It's their best work in ages (h/t Allahpundit).

Then Hot Air commenter Chickyraptor contended that this is a better version.

I watched one of them repeatedly and found it brilliant every time. Then I struggled to finish the other. However, I've got to hand it to Gerry Phillips, the so-called manualist. He earns bonus points for level of complexity.

Which do you prefer?

T Party Express: What a Wonderful World

2009-11-24T22:42:00.000-08:00

On my worst day, God is more gracious to me than I deserve and I have more blessings than time to count them. Today was a good day - my brother Richard's birthday.

As is our family tradition, Richard picked the venue where he, my son Chris and I dined. He chose Old World in Huntington Beach, a German restaurant in a faux village of apartments, shops and other businesses that is best known for its annual Oktoberfest celebrations. Our maternal grandparents were German chefs and we grew up on recipes from their homeland.

Grandma Rosina was the oldest of 11 children from an impoverished Munich family. She boarded a ship for New York in her teens when she was sponsored by a German-American couple to be their cook and governess - and she never returned. She was the toughest person I have ever known, but she spoiled me rotten - buying me a piano and paying for my lessons. As an 8-year-old tomboy, I infinitely preferred the great outdoors. One day I balked at my daily keyboard practice, on top of rigorous dance lessons. With silent haste, Grandma packed a suitcase, called a taxi and made a grand show of moving out until I was compelled to offer an apology and very specific promises.

I never knew our Grandpa William (né Wilhelm) who died 9 months before I was born. Apparently, whatever birth control that worked for nearly 8 years after my brother Bob was born was forgotten in the fullness of grief. Grandpa was a highly successful chef, no doubt with enormous help from his sous chef, Grandma. Together they established a family-run restaurant that catered to the German community in 1920s New York, plus a store and assorted real estate enterprises. For a short time he owned a Gutenberg Bible, which was stolen after he displayed it in the foyer of their large home. He was also a playwright who produced German musicals and an alcoholic whose sense of shame led him to briefly abandon his family after all the businesses failed during the Great Depression. After Hitler rose to power, Grandpa received a letter from the German government asking him to come home and help the cause. My mother and two uncles vetoed the move.

At dinner tonight, we were the only party in the restaurant. Our waitress was warmly friendly and talkative. We discussed her German heritage and ours, how Richard became deaf and disabled, our shared appreciation of Ronald Reagan and concern about President Obama, and anything else that caught our interest. She brought Richard a complimentary slice of Black Forest torte with a candle. My son Chris, our lovely waitress and I serenaded Richard as I signed the Happy Birthday song for his benefit. Before we left, there were lots of photos and hugs all around. It was a special experience. Here is a picture of the birthday boy and your humble blogger at dinner. Chris prefers not to have his photo published.

Richard and I have different fathers and his sire was a raging alcoholic. The marriage was doomed after Richard's dad, whose family was comfortably well off, forced our mother to give birth in a charity teaching hospital. The attending doctor, a student really, used forceps to deliver Richard, thus damaging his brain and killing his auditory nerves - rendering him deaf and disabled at birth. Shortly thereafter, Mom hit Richard's father over the head with a frying pan and fled.

Richard came to live with Luis, Chris and me in 2003 after our sister Donna died unexpectedly. Although he is 16 years my elder, we were always very close. From the time he moved in with us, Richard rebelled against Luis's numerous rules. Like Richard, Luis and my son Chris are also children of alcoholics, so we kept almost no drinkable alcohol in the house except for mouthwash and vanilla extract. Richard was also 75 lbs. overweight. We put him on a series of diets that worked at least temporarily and Luis would weigh him randomly and, in retrospect, not very respectfully.

I believe that he had Richard's best interests at heart for the most part, but Luis can be a controlling tyrant who disdains subtlety and tact. There were several confrontations and Richard, who can become frustrated but has mastered his temper considerably, even head-butted Luis once. Richard also used to mime the moves of a prisoner, acting like Luis was handcuffing and even hanging him. Luis, Chris and I would laugh about it, but it always made me uneasy. Richard's objections were not unfounded and I am sorry I gave Luis so much leeway over him, over Chris, and in numerous other ways. Since Luis left, Richard has been visibly relaxed - very relaxed - and much happier. Chris is blossoming, too.

Tonight I let Richard slowly enjoy one glass of dark German beer with his entree after he already had Diet Coke, bread and a salad. I made it clear that this was an exception tied to a rare occasion. I monitor how much money Richard carries and where he goes, so it would be practically impossible for him to go on a bender.

This was our first outing as a new threesome. During his Christian phase, Luis never let us listen to secular music as a family. Although these days I truly prefer Christian Contemporary radio, music in all its ear-tickling glory has been an essential ingredient in my life since before Grandma forced me to play the piano. Chris is a fan of the classic hard rock from my youth, so I tuned into his favorite FM channel. Together we sang along raucously with the Doors, AC/DC and Foreigner. Our only regret was that Richard could not join in, but he never complains about his deafness and certainly doesn't think of himself as handicapped or different.

God gave us a world seeded with small wonders and life affirming joys. Listening to the lovely Katie Melua duet across time with the late, lamented Eva Cassidy, I can almost forget its vast wickedness.

Previous stops:

Pick Yourself Up by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (1936).

Special by Garbage (1998).

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Start All Over Again

2009-11-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

Finally, my SBTX (soon to be ex-husband) is oot of the hoose, as our Canadian friends might say. That is cause for some kind of celebration and the only one I can afford until payday is the party in my head featuring deceased VIPs. Y'all come now.

For my money, which is mostly of the coin variety right now, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were two of the most entertaining, talented performers ever to grace cinema. At a time when generations devastated by the Great Depression needed hopeful diversion, they danced and romanced our collective troubles away.

There has never been a dancer more gifted than Astaire, but he doesn't get near enough credit for his vocal skills. The most successful composers of his time chose Astaire to introduce many songs that became American standards and classics. Fans are quick to point out that Rogers did everything Astaire did but backwards and in high heels, and she did such an admirable job keeping up with him that they seemed evenly matched.

Until they were teamed by RKO, Astaire was a Broadway star with an appeal more aesthetic than sexual. Rogers spent much of her career playing down-on-her-luck heroines. Katharine Hepburn famously observed of them, "Astaire gave her class, and Rogers gave him sex."

The premise of their 1936 collaboration, Swing Time, is that Rogers is a dance school instructor and Astaire a hoofer who pretends he isn't. At the beginning of our song du jour, we find Rogers giving Astaire a pep talk in Pick Yourself Up.

In part 2, Astaire realizes he is risking Rogers' job and decides to show her boss what a great teacher she is by breaking out his moves.

The lyrics serve as a reminder that we might get knocked down, but we get up again and you're never gonna keep us down - unless we choose to be victims.

FRED:

Please teacher, teach me something.
Nice teacher, teach me something.
I'm as awkward as a camel.
That's not the worst.
My two feet haven't met yet.
But I'll be teacher's pet yet,
'Cause I'm going to learn to dance or burst.

GINGER:

Nothing's impossible, I have found.
For when my chin is on the ground,
I pick myself up, dust myself off,
Start all over again.

Don't lose your confidence if you slip.
Be grateful for a pleasant trip,
And pick yourself up; dust yourself off;
Start all over again.

Work like a soul inspired
'Til the battle of the day is won.
You may be sick and tired,
But you'll be a man, my son.

Will you remember the famous men
Who had to fall to rise again.
So take a deep breath;
Pick yourself up;
Dust yourself off;
Start all over again.

FRED:

I'll get some self assurance
If your endurance is great.
I'll learn by easy stages
If you're courageous and wait.

To feel the strength I want to,
I must hang onto your hand.
Maybe by the time I'm fifty,
I'll get up and do a nifty.

Pick yourself up; dust yourself off;
Start all over again.

Previous stops:

Special by Garbage (1998).

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Good Riddance to Bad Garbage

2009-11-19T22:02:00.000-08:00

The T Party Express just passed its last toxic dump site and now the terrain ahead is clean and smooth. My STBX (soon to be ex-husband) took possession of his new home on Tuesday and I changed our locks the same day.

His contemptuous disregard for me and my family reached its nadir this past week. Nothing can compete with his daily campaign to convince me to stop my chemotherapy so I would die sooner, thus enabling him to start his new life faster and easier with his new family and my pension. But on his way out of our lives he emptied our bank account, expected me to continue paying his bills, came home every night between 11:00pm and 1:00am only to awaken me to his verbal abuse, showed up immediately after my chemo treatment with one of his future stepsons to collect some furniture after I specifically asked him to let me rest quietly that day, left a big mess in his wake, and yet still paused long enough to mention for the umpteenth time how happy I seem that he is leaving. My son and I cannot help noticing that he who appears to be getting everything he declared he wants is acting pissed off, tormented and restless.

Yeah, I am happy or relieved or serenely grateful. As I was leaving work tonight, I thought about how not so long ago - although it feels like another lifetime - I looked forward to his nightly phone call as we sped home to be with each other again. And now I leave work with a new sense of contentment, knowing that I won't see or hear from him henceforth unless it's on my terms, too.

In July my life took an unexpected, bizarre turn. My beloved husband became a wicked stranger. After I realized that his metamorphosis was not a temporary meltdown, my feelings adjusted fairly quickly. Pain evolved into anger and a need to comprehend what was happening. Only a fool or a masochist would tolerate such behavior and I am neither.

I was fortunate to be dumped only once before, but the circumstances were completely different. That gentleman never completely let go and spent much of the next 10 years trying to keep me tied to him. I let myself remain in a state of emotional limbo, which was deeply hurtful and unsatisfying in its own way. But, oh, what bittersweet romantic angst we generated.

I loved Luis more than anyone in this world. I was not unaware of his faults, but I teased him about them and found them charming. I am far from perfect myself and thought he loved me just as unconditionally. But every awful thing he has said and done in the last four months now recasts the previous 9-plus years in a light marred by shadows and hints of trouble to come. There is nothing romantic or bittersweet about my feelings now.

He shocked everyone with his 180 degree turnaround, not just me, so I am not beating myself up over being blindsided by it. It's nigh impossible for me to remember the good times and maybe someday I will mourn their passing, but I don't trust those memories any more.

I still can't find just the right song to fit my situation. Maybe I will have to compose it myself. Tomorrow is garbage day and this week I said good riddance to bad rubbish, so Special by Garbage is appropriate enough for today.

Besides, Shirley Manson is one of the best female rock vocalists ever in the ballsy tradition of Roni Spector and Chrissie Hynde. Enjoy.

Previous stops:

The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Moon Day, Moon Day

2009-11-16T06:41:00.000-08:00

The T Party Express has been on auto pilot while I attend to housekeeping issues. Things are looking up - and so am I. Behold the moon, for which the first day of our traditional work week was named.

In the storied history of rock music, there are epic songs that hold an almost supernatural power to command our attention. Typically, their special or momentous qualities were acknowledged by contemporaneous popular acclaim, but some of my most cherished musical treasures were and are largely unheralded.

In the 1980s, the Waterboys sprang from the Celtic folk rock tradition and achieved moderate chart success in the U.K. Their full-bodied sound, augmented by strings and horns, soared aloft the poetic lyrics of band founder Mike Scott. The Whole of the Moon from 1985 remains their signature achievement. Reportedly inspired by C.S. Lewis, the song is a lament about two people perpetually at cross purposes and works as an ode to romantic regret.

Previous stops:

Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).

So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: So Long, Mr. Selfish

2009-11-11T21:30:00.000-08:00

The T Party Express is chugging through the Valley of Deep Thoughts. Don't worry - we'll be out of here in no time.

The act of denying yourself or dying to self is necessary for submission to God's will. Putting your partner first is also an important element in a happy marriage. My marriage deteriorated so quickly since July because one spouse plunged willfully into an extremely selfish fantasy phase, thus renouncing every pledge he made to God and to his wife, leaving said wife with a bad case of spiritual and emotional whiplash. I can only imagine how God feels.

The good news is that, after I engaged in what politicians call opposition research, I got my STBX (soon to be ex-husband) to admit what he is doing in his parallel universe. I am by nature a dogged troubleshooter and problem solver. Exhausted by his lies, I finally put all the clues and tidbits of information together to understand why my STBX changed 180 degrees in such a short time and where it is leading him.

Can you say plop-plop-fizz-fizz? Oh, what a relief it is. I have done what I can to safeguard his soul, albeit with no apparent success, and am no longer transporting his numerous burdens on the T Party Express. I dumped them at the intersection of Mommy Issues and Self Delusion.

My faith in the act of denying yourself is steadfast as ever. Two of my favorite Contemporary Christian Music songs explain the concept better than I can.

Chris Sligh is the most talented American Idol contestant in 8 years never to make the top 5. He was my season 6 favorite and is building a solid career as a singer/songwriter in the Christian, country and pop crossover genres. His composition Empty Me explains how even the perks of fame are no substitute for God.

So Long Self by Mercy Me is a hopping, rocking tune that covers the same territory, but it contains one of my favorite lyrics that applies to my situation. Heh.

Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)
There'll be better days (there'll be better days)
Don't go away mad (but by all means)
Just go away, go away

Previous stops:

Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Sundays on Sunday

2009-11-08T21:14:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday and it's too Novemberish to eat a sundae, so let's listen to the Sundays instead.

Here's Where the Story Ends transports me back to 1990 and a relationship that supposedly ended the previous summer, except that a certain someone wouldn't commit to leaving or staying. I cranked it up whenever he was around.

He got the message but chose to ignore it.

Still, this is a lovely, forlorn little song from the transitional period between New Wave and Alternative. Enjoy.

Previous stops:

Broken by Lighthouse (2009).

God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Broken but Not Broke Down

2009-11-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

Broken is the latest single by Lifehouse. I prefer the original below to the official radio version.

Lifehouse has a knack for penning lyrics that have crossover appeal, working in the secular as well as sacred sense. My SBTX (soon to be ex-husband) relates to the story of a wretched sinner who lost his way. We are all like Humpty Dumpty after the fall. If we are lucky or wise, we understand that the world cannot put us back together again.

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm handin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

God Shaped Hole by Plumb mirrors Broken in its message and availability in alternate versions, albeit in a snappier, bouncier way. The song was first featured on the soundtrack of Bruce Almighty, but a 2010 retake is getting some radio airplay. Here is the original.

Previous stops:

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: The November 2009 Election Edition

2009-11-04T07:36:00.000-08:00

The T Party Express question of the day: What do Obama and I have in common?

We will return to our regular programming tomorrow.

Previous stops:

Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).

Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Deacon Blues Edition

2009-11-03T06:29:00.000-08:00

The T Party Express continues to celebrate music coming out of the U.K. in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Yesterday we enjoyed selections from the Beautiful South, a British band that featured rotating vocals among two male and one female vocalist.

Deacon Blue was a Scottish pop band that gained a large regional following on the strength of its energetic live performances. Deacon Blue is often confused with Prefab Sprout, a British quartet from the same era that we will explore someday soon. Both groups featured a male lead backed by a prominent female vocalist – in Deacon Blue's case, the husband and wife team of Ricky Ross and Lorraine McIntosh. Their wonderful 1989 album When the World Knows Your Name hit #1 in the U.K., due in no small part to its tales of bittersweet love and hard luck, including Love and Regret and Real Gone Kid.

Deacon Blue took their name from the epic Steely Dan ode to the spoils of romantic loss. When did lead singer Donald Fagen turn into Ray Charles?

Previous stops:

My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).

A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: No More Tears

2009-11-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

It was a dark and stormy weekend, but the T Party Express is chugging full steam ahead toward the light at the end of the tunnel. If you have a little time, we have a little comic relief.

The Beautiful South was a pop British outfit that formed on the cusp of the 1990s from the Housemartins, a 1980s new wave band. TBS featured three distinctive singing talents – Paul Heaton, Dave Hemingway and Brianna Corrigan – who shared rotating lead vocals. Their lyrics were informed by a common sense of self-mocking irony and biting wit. In the modern era, the British music charts have always been more diverse and tolerant of multiple genres than ours in America and TBS enjoyed their share of 1990s singles success.

My Book from 1990 purports to tell the singer's life story with vocals by Heaton and Corrigan. Can these lyrics really be autobiographical?

This is my life and this is how it reads
For every chapter, a thousand memories
A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds
A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease

Diary entry 9th of May '62
We've had some ugly babies but none were quite like you
Diary entry '62 end of May
It looks as if the nose and chin are definitely here to stay
They're here to stay, they're here to stay

If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)

This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in 'Gone with the Breeze'
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese

Diary entry '68 end of the year
A cardboard Apollo 6 has given the all clear
11th December '68 Captain's log
Proposed trip to Mars is cancelled due to fog
It's due to fog, it's due to fog

If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)

This is the play, it was I who wrote the script
Terry meets June in 'Tales from the Crypt'
It was going to be a film but the camera person slipped
They later found him scolding a banana

Diary entry 10th of April '89
The world is going mad but me I'm doing fine
I'm doing fine

Back to bed, back to reality
Just fine.

A Little Time, also from 1990 and their only #1 hit, documents the breakdown of a marriage from each spouse's conflicting perspective as Hemingway and Corrigan split the vocals.

Previous stops:

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Day of the Dead

2009-11-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

Here on the T Party Express, sometimes we put the cart before the iron horse.

Yesterday my STBX (soon to be ex-husband) asked me how I feel. It's a deliberately vague question phrased to avoid recriminations. He was looking for an answer he could live with comfortably, but I couldn't oblige and chose to remain silent.

This is how I feel. I am living with stage 4 metastatic cancer and a husband in name only who stopped caring about me several months ago, except to the extent that I am useful to him before he is ready to leave. I don't know which enemy is worse, but neither can be good for me. Without God, I am helpless and hopeless against them both. Naturally, my mind goes to the worst case scenario, but God pulls me back from the brink again and again.

I cannot know what He has planned for us, but these song selections are as good a guess as any.

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).

If I am compelled to lose my partner and helpmate, I want to suffer as beautifully as the couple in this video.

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).

The movie She's Having a Baby employed this song as the soundtrack for the climactic childbirth of an estranged couple, but Bush's video is open to other interpretations. She is one of the most gifted performance artists ever to grace popular music.

Kate Bush - This Woman's Work (Official Music Video) - Funny blooper videos are here

Previous stops:

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: Love Lies Bleeding

2009-10-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

The T Party Express slows down for no holiday.

Luis, my STBX (soon to be ex-husband), and I are spending our last Halloween together greeting the costumed masses with handfuls of premium candy and reminders that Jesus loves them. Can you imagine asking Him "trick or treat?" Christ is the only man who can truthfully promise to never disappoint or fail us.

For the past four months, I have spent too much time trying to understand how suddenly and unexpectedly a steadfast soulmate can become a sadistic stranger. If I drive by a trainwreck without acknowledging that there but for the grace of God go I, then I avert my eyes from the depths of despair and wickedness that characterize our sinful human nature at my own peril.

This ends the first week that I have been posting songs of heartbreak and survival. I have been happily surprised so far by how little I relate to most of their lyrical scenarios. That is not necessarily true of this weekend's creepy detour, but some secrets are best left unblogged.

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).

This is the song credited widely for launching the New Wave genre. Lead singer Ian Curtis committed suicide one month after its release on the eve of Joy Division's first American tour. The remaining members formed the influential electronica band New Order.

Reptile by the Church (1988).

Australia's The Church crafted several albums of lush loveliness that were undermined by lead singer Steven Kilbey's ugly heroin addiction. The serpent never sleeps.

Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).

Among Elvis Costello's numerous accomplishments, he has been one of the greatest practitioners of the lost art of the song fade-out since Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys. I heard Costello claim that this song was inspired by the cycle of resentment and guilt in his first marriage. The haunting refrain "I know, I know, I know, I know, ..." gives me chills.

Luis, my STBX, is a Calvinist, which means he doesn't believe in "accidents." His view of God's sovereignty over all His creations means that God micromanages all His creations. A few months ago, Luis was careless with his personal security, which resulted in his wedding ring, watch, GPS system, iPod, and bluetooth earpiece being stolen from his SUV. He interpreted the theft as a sign from God that our marriage was over, although somehow not as a sign that God doesn't want him to tell time, find locations on a map, listen to music or talk on his cell phone.

Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).

Marc Almond is more famous stateside for his work in Soft Cell on Tainted Love, but I have a soft spot for this solo outing.

Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).

Fate up against your will. What a poetic way to describe forcing something that was never meant to be to a regrettable conclusion.

I wish I could embed the official video, but the record label won't let me.

Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).

Hey, jealousy.

Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).

A fretful lover commits a frightful act over a fretless bass line.

Songwriters Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford have often been compared to Lennon and McCartney. On this record and others, I especially like when the tenor Tilbrook and baritone Difford sing the same melody one octave apart. The little details mean a lot to me.

Previous stops:

Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).

Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

T Party Express: The Hounds of Love

2009-10-30T21:31:00.000-07:00

Fasten your seat belts as we begin our steep descent. It's going to be a bumpy weekend aboard the T Party Express.

The death of love is a common theme in popular music, but rarely has it been explored in the mainstream beyond the most bittersweet of cliches. Love hurts. Love is a battlefield. You give love a bad name.

The graveyard of broken hearts is not an amusement park dressed up for Halloween. It can be filled with secrets so haunting that they won't stay buried.

The Afghan Whigs were alternative rockers who resided in the shadowy underground at the intersection of soul and grunge. Greg Dulli's voice, more fierce than melodic, was like the tortured howl of a trapped animal.

One of the band's early videos, Conjure Me from their 1992 album Congregation, hints that the singer's most enduring relationship is with self-loathing.

i smell your blood, my love
but i can't taste it yet
i have your mind, my love
but i can't waste it yet
please understand my love
i find this sickening
my head is ice my love
my skin is thickening
but oh! my love
we could still be friends
and oh! my love
with me you must contend
i'm gonna turn on you before you turn on me
i'm gonna turn on you can you conjure me?
and walk the mile into this web of my conspiracy
i'm gonna turn on you before you turn on me
i'm in a hole
but i don't feel the safety net
i have your soul
but i am wasting it
but oh! my love
we could still be friends
and oh! my love
with me you must contend

Debonair, the Whigs' most successful single, includes this coda to co-dependence – an obsessive neediness that can masquerade as love.

And once again the monster speaks
Reveals his face and searches for release
A little boy is tied to you
Attracted only 'til it comes unglued

'Cause it don't bleed and it don't breathe
It's locked its jaws and now it's swallowing
It's in our heart
It's in our head
It's in our love
Baby it's in our bed

Tonight I go to hell
For what I've done to you
This ain't about regret
It's when I tell the truth

Previous stops:

Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).

Total Recall by the Sound (1985).

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).