Lattice of Coincidence

Our long metropolitan nightmare is over

2009-12-18T15:19:00.003-06:00

A reminder

2009-12-14T10:44:00.000-06:00

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

It's phokking cold here

2009-12-10T14:21:00.003-06:00

Smiff was complaining about 32 degrees. Well it's 0 here. 0 F, not 0 C that you're whining about. We've also got snow n $#!+. With more of both to come. So la di frickin da Smiff, your weather is positively balmy compared to da city of da Daleys. We know how to run winter up here.

Fung has his knit hat on in da office. Dat's how cold it is up in here. I knew I shouldn't have cut my hair...

Which reminds me, perhaps I should take a pic for Briggs to add to his knit hats collection. Where's the phone?

Ineptitude

2009-12-10T12:55:00.003-06:00

So we're on pace for what, under a quarter of the number of posts in 2008? Yet we have more authors now than we did then? Wha happen? I know W is gone n all, but, was he really that instrumental to the content on this blog? No healthcare debate? No wars debate? Maybe more stats from K-Mad would inspire us, but somehow I don't think they've changed much from the last time he ran them. No Tweets? No Facebook page updates? Is everyone, like, getting a life or something? How many questions can I ask in a row?

Birthers? Palin selling a book? Blago selling a book? Daley selling annudder part of da city? Bearzzzzzzzzzz........

That's a spicy zettabyte

2009-12-10T12:42:00.004-06:00

The American Diet: 34 Gigabytes a Day

A report published Wednesday by the University of California, San Diego (Smiff's people? ed), calculates that American households collectively consumed 3.6 zettabytes of information in 2008.

Clearly, this chart is inaccurate. There should be a large slice of the pie going to the Lattice of Coincidence. No word as to whether we need to cut down TV or computer in order for us to lose weight.

News item: It gets cold in Chicago

2009-12-10T09:33:00.008-06:00

News item: City parking meters freeze up

(Crain’s) — The city’s newly privatized parking meters weren’t prepared for Chicago’s first cold snap.

Some of the new parking meter kiosks operated by LAZ Parking (Ok, was that really a good choice for the name of the company? Was that the first decision they made at their first meeting around the conference table, and it all went downhill from there? Just askin... Ed.) under a controversial lease deal that has already experienced operating difficulties froze up overnight as temperatures plunged into the single digits.

Bacon and chocolate can relieve gift-giving stress

2009-12-09T20:10:00.004-06:00

Salty and sweet collide in these chewy cookies

Maple Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies
~

Brain-Dead Americans (cont)

2009-12-03T11:03:00.005-06:00

So I got this joke in my inbox of my emails on the Internets...

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common?

They are both in danger of being beaten to death by a Norwegian with a club !

'Course, she's a SWEDE, but you know, don't let FACTS get in the way of a lame joke. Besides, who even knows the difference between Norway and Sweden? Aren't they, like, in Finland or something? No, that's Denmark...

How does that saying go?

2009-12-02T13:31:00.001-06:00

Acorn doesn't fall far from the tree? Like father like son? Dollar dollar bill y'all? If it's not one thing it's another?

Wirtz lawsuit over booze tax hike holds up CTA capital dollars

LoC=Spam? (cont)

2009-11-30T16:01:00.003-06:00

Apparently the new big thing is to post a spam comment in a post we made last year. That way if you just go to the blog you don't see it (Briggs & I saw them coz we subscribe to the RSS feed for comments), but we then become one of them spamming blogs that Google hates sooo much. So I's made a coupla changes unilateral style - no more anonymous commenting (sorry brain dead bob et al) and comments on older posts will have to be approved before posting. If anyone thinks I've overstepped my authoritah, you suck, if anyone has (a) better idea(s), you suck, and if you are a spammer, you especially suck.

Even A Caveman Can Do It

2009-11-25T14:49:00.002-06:00

Newly signed Chargers OT Jon Runyan plans to retire after the season.
Runyan will run for Congress in New Jersey's 3rd district in 2010. "I look forward to a successful end to my career on the field," he said, "and a spirited campaign against Congressman (John) Adler." He will run as a Republican.
~

Could dis be Da Berz fate?

2009-11-25T11:58:00.002-06:00

School Northwestern is often confused with shuts down American Football program

Better Wear Shades

2009-11-24T19:35:00.001-06:00

World's Most Garish Candidate Website

~

What can we sell off for short-term gain next?

2009-11-24T14:47:00.001-06:00

Maybe da Bears?

Company Piles Up Profits From City’s Parking Meter Deal

My new intern

2009-11-23T11:19:00.001-06:00

Not quite ready for primetime...

Night of the Living Dead Hoosier Wingnuts

2009-11-20T12:35:00.005-06:00

Maybe she had to rush back to work... Oh, right...

"Moose -- holding eyeballs of"

2009-11-19T15:58:00.007-06:00

Page 32.

Another indication that the world is ending

2009-11-17T20:08:00.012-06:00

The Main Stream Media says it isn't.

Is Doomsday Coming? Perhaps, but Not in 2012

Apparently, the New York Times isn't impressed that the current 5,125 year cycle of 13 bak'tuns will end on December 20, 2012. (Did the Mayans have to make the world end right before Christmas? Why did they hate Jesus?)

"If you want to worry, most scientists say, you should think about global climate change (I think this blog has successfully debunked that myth - Ed.), rogue asteroids (NOW we're talking! :-) - Ed.), or nuclear war (tried it - didn't work - Ed.)."

Why didn't I think of that?

2009-11-17T16:04:00.003-06:00

Taiwanese online hunk lures 20 women into bed
With his dad, who turns out to be him

A Taiwanese man has been cuffed for allegedly posing online as a "youthful male model" and persuading up to 20 females to have sex with his father, the China Daily reports.

Hsu Shian-ming's internet pitch got a lively response from women "interested in romantic liaisons". The 55-year-old scammer convinced his victims that his old man was suffering from prostate cancer - a condition which meant he needed constant sex to stay alive.

The angels of mercy obliged, administering life-saving treatment to dad in various Taipei hotels. Pop's cancer was evidently serious, because the women were "persuaded into unconventional sex acts varying from putting foreign objects in their private parts, anal sex, or threesomes", the China Daily indelicately puts it.

The wheels came off the audacious ruse after one of the women failed in her attempts to meet the son.

She called in private investigators who revealed that father and son were one and the same person. Police arrested Hsu on Saturday, and a subsequent search of his house revealed "dozens" of photos of the handsome young man used as bait.

They also found "hundreds of female pictures each with detailed descriptions on the back". During his medical treatment, Hsu had photographed his victims nude, then used the snaps to "threaten them into doing future sex favours".

Hsu allegedly also relieved his targets of cash and goods to the value of 200m Taiwan New Dollars (£3,725,000).

The worst hit was "a cougar surnamed Yu", who handed over gifts including seven iPhones, a £1,862 monthly allowance, diamond and pearl necklaces, a Porsche, and a "limited-edition watch valued at a staggering £145,000".

Hsu, described by police as a "divorced bald man" and "physically unattractive", faces five years in jail on each of multiple fraud raps. ®

Who is K-Mad going to kick around now?

2009-11-16T16:19:00.004-06:00

Lou Dobbs is outta here.

100% of Lou Dobbs 35 viewers are sad.

~

Oh! For a smooth, creamy cupcake!

2009-11-11T22:41:00.007-06:00

Monday! Syracuse 75, Albany 43
Today! Syracuse 100, Robert Morris 60

Should they be medicated?

2009-11-11T11:54:00.008-06:00

The delicate science of ensuring that Wal-Mart shoppers don't kill you, or each other

A year after an unruly crowd trampled a worker to death at a Wal-Mart store, the nation’s retailers are preparing for another Black Friday, the blockbuster shopping day after Thanksgiving. Along with offering $300 laptops and $99 navigation devices, stores are planning new safety measures to make sure the festive day does not take another deadly turn...

Let's see, how can we destroy Thanksgiving for our employees?

The most significant change at Wal-Mart is that the majority of its discount stores (as opposed to its Supercenters) will open Thanksgiving morning at 6 a.m. and stay open through Friday evening. Last year, those stores closed Thanksgiving evening and reopened early Friday morning. By keeping the stores open for 24 hours, Wal-Mart is hoping for a steady flow of shoppers instead of mammoth crowds swelling outside its stores in the wee hours of Friday.

Let's see, how can we take away my family's favorite holiday tradition?

In another new twist this year, shoppers at Wal-Mart will not have to sprint toward a pile of flat-screen televisions and scuffle with one another to get one. (But this is what Christ was ABOUT! ~ Ed.) Rather, customers will be able to enter the store at any time and line up at merchandise displays for the must-have items on their lists. When the products go on sale Friday at 5 a.m., workers will supervise the lines, giving shoppers the merchandise in the order in which they joined the line — until the goods are out of stock (zzzzzzzzz... Ed.).

God's Hand

2009-11-07T03:20:00.003-06:00

This was hilarious at 3 in the morning. Let's see if it stands the test of time...

The Onion? Or The Inevitable?

2009-11-04T13:26:00.000-06:00

United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood

Mismatch? Or Zzzzzzzzzzzz......?

2009-11-04T12:52:00.001-06:00

George W. Bush vs. Bill Clinton; Former presidents to debate in New York -- chicagotribune.com