27+n

Don't judge me for you do not know who I am.

2008-05-14T21:12:00.003+08:00

I am very demotivated today. Sometimes I really don't understand how can someone judge you so easily when they don't have full knowledge of your entire life and you you you. I was told not to take it personally, but sometimes I wish that she is more understanding. I've got a lot of stuff going on in my life but that doesn't mean that I place less importance on any of it. Every part is important to me, and I'm trying to make everything work at the same time.

After thinking about it while driving back home, I've decided that it's my life as it has always been, and no one can measure my level of passion, except for me. I will give the best that I can to meet the goals that I've set. Not some goal that some other people have set for me. I got out from the rat race because I'm tired of it, and I am not about to be plunged into another one against my will.

I know what I'm doing, and I am on the right path to be where I want to. At least I'm still on the right track at the moment.

Been working on a research that will lead to something big, hopefully. I will make it work. I will make it work. I will make it work.

Widen the gap please thank you.

2008-05-13T04:37:00.003+08:00

All sort of praises are sung for technology, internet, bla bla but I tell you sometimes having easy access to all this information are just... way overwhelming. Sometimes it's better to not know about certain things, and some things are better left undisturbed. With stupid internet, that invisible string that link everyone together is gaining shape and losing the length and I DON'T LIKE THAT.

I prefer to remain in an ignorant bliss. I can get myself away from unpleasant situation and I will, because I have done it before and I can do it again. I know I have a choice.

/emo off

This weekend my family (all 40 of us) will be going down to Pg. I can't wait to makan nonstop... and makan and makan and makan. Will drop by Ipoh for breakfast, but no chicken rice so early in the morning. Wondering where else is good to makan in Ipoh.

Just did another ASQ photoshoot today. The kids kinda grow on you. After a while they seem quite decent. Maybe it's just the maternal side in me showing, haha. 5 of them will be going to some singing competition reality show in Taiwan... all expenses paid... so lucky... I told them that they cannot miss going to the night market. It is zeee bombb I miss Taiwan I wanna go again... So yah, about a month before they start again. Then the elimination will continue again. *sigh* Somehow this attachment is inevitable I think. It's in my nature to get emotionally attached to the things I do or experience.

Sighs sigh sighs

2008-05-09T21:59:00.003+08:00

I noticed that the hair plucking comes back when I'm stressed out. I haven't done so for the longest time since I got the short haircut. In fact I thought that trich can be 'cured' by having short hair, but apparently not.

Need 60k in 1 years time. Any fast money making scheme?

It is a Friday. I think I'll put on some nice makeup and go out. It's the Tiesto weekend but don't think will be going. Maybe tomorrow. Really wanna go before n turns 3. But if he's coming back next year, then not going this year is fine. Otherwise must go, cos I don't want to go see him lugging my kids if he comes back in 5 years time.

Parents meeting parents dinner postponed because everywhere is fully booked as this weekend is mother's day. I haven't gotten anything for mom yet. But the other day got free pink teddy bear from The Ship. A bit cheap la... Dunno what to get for mom la, sighs.

Photoshoot for ASQ Top 10 next week. 5 girls and 5 guys. Rather, 5 guys, 1 'guy' and 4 girls. Shouldn't be a prob.

ASQ

2008-05-08T06:59:00.004+08:00

It is now 7 am and I'm dead tired but am just gonna note down some stuff that I do not want to forget.

1. Time and tide wait for no man. Move it move it.

2. I changed my mind about the guy who bugged me at Astro Star Quest. Usually he seemed overly confident and showy, but today he mellowed down a lot from the pressure. He seemed almost depressed. It is now towards the middle of the show. In the earlier recordings, the contestants were happy, all hyped up and singing everywhere all the time. Now that nearly half the contestants have been eliminated they seem somewhat more grounded. Today it was quiet with hardly any singing around backstage. In someways it was almost as if everyone was mourning with sorrow. I guess making new friends, living with them and then having to deal with your friends being eliminated shows you a part of that grown up life, fast forward. I almost felt sorry for them, but am glad that they are more mature and ready for life's challenges now. Somehow Asian reality shows are different from Western ones. The Western reality shows contestants cheer for joy when the others are eliminated. They want to get others eliminated. In Asian reality show they cry when their fellow contestants get eliminated. When they give their goodbye speech they wish others success.

Budget constraints

2008-05-05T02:57:00.003+08:00

need to stick to budget need to stick to budget...

BUT I WANT A BATHTUB..... AND SOLID WOODEN FLOOR, AND 6 AIR CONDS...

check out this informative article about Jacuzzi. Yes the Jacuzzi, the Panadol of paracetemol, the Maggi mee of instant noodles..

it's sad when you can only have 3 airconds instead of 6.

:/

I IS BACK

2008-04-27T23:59:00.004+08:00

I have not been writing for the longest time. So little time, so much to do!!

For a start, some good news! I got engaged! He proposed in the craziest way, and (being unbiased :P) I really don't think it's easy for other guys to top it. You know what guys are like... competitive and all! But it was the effort put in that really touched me. It was a really nice night, and we had friends celebrating the joyous day with us. I am thinking of throwing an engagement party thingy and invite all our friends, simply because it'll be a nice thing to share this happy news with them, and also to thank friends who also helped so much! The video is crazy ass funny :)

Anyhow, here's a pic taken from Ting's site. She was going around taking lotsa pics with her professional camera haha. Thank you Ting, you know for what :) I look damn tarpao in all the pics but who cares!!! Remember that I fell flat on my ass and back at the end of the night,hee haaaa haaaaa

Aside from getting engaged, I've been pretty busy with the whole house renovation thing. IT. IS. NOT. EASY. TO. GET. A. HOUSE. DONE. Been getting quotes from 3 main contractors, looking at tiles, bla bla, drawing up floor plan. Yes, I actually did up a floorplan by myself using this awesome software called SmartDraw. Available free for 7 days trial, but after that it's like USD200 or something. And being Malaysian... you know la... I think it's past the 7 days trial but I cheated by not closing the window. Yes, it's been many many days since I last shut down my laptop. I just put it on hibernate mode.

Am also working on this new research. Basically about people's TV habits and all. Speaking of TV habits, I've never indulged so much time in the idiot tube (is that what's it's called?) and OMG I just can't tear myself away from all those stupid TVB series on Astro on Demand. It's damn addictive and REALLY I can spend those time doing more productive stuff. Like I actually got webhosting two months back and it's just there doing nothing. I could have used those hours spent watching TVB to migrate to the new webhosting... sighs....

OH, am also doing makeup for this Astro Star Quest previously known as Astro Talent Quest. Those dudes are young!!! Really really young I feel like a jie jie to them. Like we were backstage doing the press conference and this young contestant called out to me 'lenglui' and I just stared back at him and said 'Cass. My name is Cass'. Hahahahah so attitude but it's true what. Those 18 year olds... and me... 27+n. hahahahhahaha

Well, it's all about time management, isn't it. And rship management la. Cos usually when my bf and I discuss stuff about house, we usually got this damn tulan look and tone but till now managed to control it. Only argued once, but after that we went to makan Thai Style Chicken and then everything is okay again.

:) Will post again soon. :)

love technology

2008-04-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

Damn technology is wonderful. Am in the car now waiting for the bf to shower and I'm on my iPod now typing this out. Now it doesn't matter anymore how long I have to wait cos I'm leeching of his wifi so I can just surf n surf n surf. Best!! Also love it during sleepless nights cos I can just whip up the iPod n surf while cuddling :) :)

Put on my makeup just now only to realise that my face is full of rashes. Must be the sotong kerang n prawns. Going on detox after tonight. I gotta celebrate the completion of report!

KAOTIM SAI!!!

2008-04-04T16:44:00.002+08:00

YES LA I IS KAOTIM THE REPORT OREDI!!!!

TWO BLOODY DAYS STUCKS AT MY LAPTOP!!! so stressed and so difficult to concentrate but finally got it done!!!

the sense of achievement is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo wonderful! will continue with another report of the same study later. doing the whole thing makes me realise how much i loveeeeee doing researches. learn this, learn that. suddenly feel like going deep sea fishing now. i told bb that i cannot possibly live and die without ever going deep sea fishing.

woooootttt

TVB is evil! The Internet is evil! Eating is evil!

2008-04-03T13:39:00.007+08:00

Why ah why ah two days oredi I'm trying to complete this report but I still cannot! All the distractions in life! TVB is evil! The Internet is evil!

Two days oredi I makan nasi lemak for breakfast. Tambahhh sotonngg tambahh kerangg!! Now I'm experiencing all this weird rashes from eating too much 'poisonous' food. Bla bla bla kerang is the best!! Eating is evil!!

Okay, must rajin a bit to complete report today cos I wanna go out tonight!! Also because it's due today also la hehe

It's Friday again tomorrow and yay to weekend! Last Friday was like a mini gathering for Shuz before she got hitched forever and ever. It was realllyy crazy catching up with those crazzzzyyy people playing this cool uno like drinking card game called 'Beer' and drinking and smoking. After a while we got tired of the game and just picked a card randomly making drinking rules such as biggest card drinks, red drink, even drink. Fun! Got pissed drunk! Actually the best part is catching up with uni mates that we haven't seen for so long. Different sort of enjoyment. You even laugh a different sort of laughter.

Congrats Shuz. :)

okay now that i'm done writing this maybe i can concentrate on writing the report!!

Another pool tournament coming up.

2008-03-28T13:35:00.004+08:00

I love playing pool. I really really love playing pool. I didn't realise that I feel happy playing pool until he suggested that I don't play this time.

There's a tournament coming up in Baywatch soon. I played in the one two years back and we got second place. Not bad for a team full of newbies. I was asked to play again this year. But... he doesn't want me to play this time, because there's a certain someone that he isn't too comfortable with. I understand his point of view so I shall skip this one. Anyways the money prize is not a lot for this one. But I'm thinking, what if the person is there for the Dewar's one as well? Does that mean I will skip that one too?

I have abandoned my cue for too long, and I can't wait to go there and show the people so that they can go waaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So how?

Quality times sigh

2008-03-28T10:01:00.002+08:00

Why oh why can't I just stop procrastinating... mom's helper (a politically correct way to put it) finally came back from some gorgeous island in Philippines and I've regained my freedom again. So I damn semangat, woke up at 7, had breakfast and watched some tv before setting up my laptop to start those researches. Of course, having been deprived of reckless surfing of the net without caring for the time for so long, I just couldn't stop myself from surfing and surfing and surfing.

So I was online from 9 am to 3 pm *trying* to get a headstart on work and I just couldn't stop reading and surfing about everything to politics to renovation to... god knows what else. Well, am still trying right now... hopefully can start immediately after this...

BTW, since Ruth is back, I have so much time on hand and I can finally spend quality time with the bf!! It's nice cos it's been sometime since we had quality time together. A month? Since she left? Anyhow the day before we had quiet night at home just chatting about everything and drinking brandy. We used to do that very often, sharing the small details of our day or week and I'm glad we had that night. I especially love talking about work, management, strategies, politics, because then we get to debate and see what the other person is really like. FOR EXAMPLE, I'm always the follow the rules sort of person, while he's less so. Bla bla.

Yesterday we went to pasar malam to have his favourite asam laksa. Again, we used to do that a lot but somewhere along the way we just stopped. Eating fried food from sticks, having mata kuching from the plastic bag. I like that. It reminds me of my childhood. In fact, yesterday I told him that I saw a lot of uncles and aunties whom my mom used to buy from. That was at least 15 years ago and today they are still there. In a way I felt a bit of pity for them, but then again, who am I to feel that way because for all I know, they are probably happier than a lot of other corporate ladder climbers or wealthier people.

THEN WE TARPAO FOOD AND WENT BACK TO MAKAN AGAIN WHILE WATCHING WAR OF IN LAWS, THIS TVB SERIES THAT I'VE SEEN AND AM FORCING HIM TO WATCH. I bought the dvd because I want to pass it on to my kids. Like heirloom. Except that it's not so expensive. hehe. There are quite a few DVDS already that I've collected. One of them is this Korean movie, Daisy. THAT SHOW IS SO ROMANTIC I cry everytime I see it. sigh.

Ok. time to start work. tonight got hen's night. btw, i got a haircut. it's really boyish on one side and more feminine on the other. the guy was so enthusiastic about the cut.

helpppp

2008-03-27T11:40:00.002+08:00

urm, i think there are ants living in my laptop. how the hell did it get there and HOW DO I GET RID OF IT??!!?

freedooooommm

2008-03-26T21:47:00.001+08:00

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you god!!! Ruth is finally back and now my life can get back to normal again!!!

ahhhhhhhhhh i am reborn!!!

screwed up

2008-03-17T07:33:00.002+08:00

I can't seem to do anything right. I'm as useless as a rubbish bin next to a rubbish dump site. I will keep to myself and learn learn learn how to do it right and if I still can't do it right, then I guess I'm really incapable of doing it. I might as well be dead then.

First step in buying a house - shop for mortgages

2008-03-17T06:43:00.005+08:00

It was quite tedious when we first started shopping for mortgages. Thank God for the Internet I was able to check for mortgages rate online but even then I did not fully trust the rates posted online by the banks. I guess it is because I have this perception that the local companies just don't bother to update their websites with the latest information. Anyhow it was quite a tedious experience calling up the banks to find out more about their mortgage packages. The most terrible experience I had must be calling the Hong Leong Bank hotline. You know how they have the IVR system (press 1 for bla bla press 2 for bla bla)? Well, Hong Leong Bank's IVR is the crappiest!! You end up going in circles and finally you just slam down the phone because you get so bloody frustrated going round and round.

After finding out the rates on the phone comes the negotiating time. It is actually possible for you to negotiate the rates because the banking industry in Malaysia is so competitive. If they say it is not negotiable, they are either lying or have already met their quota for the month so they don't give a damn whether you use their services or not. They = mortgage sales executive.

Just found out few weeks back that the guy responsible for our account has left the company.

Anyways in the end, after careful comparison and all, we ended up getting a mortgage with Hong Leong Bank because it offered the best rate despite the shitty hotline they have. I also got the direct line number to whoever it was I needed to speak to so I don't have to torture myself with the stupid HLB IVR again. In the future if I need to get a loan for small business incorporation, I really don't think I'll consider the bank again.

Less than 2 weeks to freedom.

2008-03-14T05:44:00.002+08:00

The world is just too damn small. Just when you think you have left bees in the past doesn't mean that it won't come back to zzzz at you. Sometimes it's better if I had just left things and stop digging. Too much knowledge isn't that good all the time.

I need to prioritise and stop procrastinating. Sometimes I feel that I am just here to fulfill her ego requirement. I need to put my foot down and say, that's it, I need to do things that I need to do because it is important that I don't lose this lifeline. It has reached that level of seriousness. Sometimes it's unbelievable how the things she say can hurt me so much. I've seen how she practices her subtlety so I know she's capable of it. Why is she being so insensitive to me then? Do I portray myself as someone who is thick skinned and won't be hurt no matter what is hurled at me? My Chinese horoscope said something about taking a step back and looking at things objectively. I'm trying, i'm trying.

March 11, 2008

2008-03-12T04:30:00.002+08:00

Today we finally got the keys to our home. Yes, OUR home. I'm a bit overwhelmed from the thought of the necessary renovation to make it our living place. There will be tons to do, I'm sure. I'll just cross the bridge when I reach it, I guess.

A reminder to all

2008-03-10T05:35:00.001+08:00

Not to sound like I'm suddenly damn into politics, but this is a damn good warkah to 'Barisan Rakyat'. Have they adopted the name officially?

PRU 12 2008

2008-03-10T03:26:00.002+08:00

This is from an email that I wrote to a dear friend. Just wanted to stick this here to remind me of the first election that I was an active participant of.

elections fever is on. every damn one was and still is talking about elections and results. going to vote was a very... somber experience. i woke up at my bfs place at about 2 pm and thought shit sure damn late oredi so i told him to send me to the polling station and ask him to immediately drive to sri aman so that he won;'t be late for voting. i even walked home okay from the polling station but it's only 2 streets away from my home. walked in, every one quite. a lot of ppl walking in a manner that is like how ants move. all follow invisible line wan. everyone looked serious. i went to the stream (classroom) that i'm supposed to vote in.show them my ic. then the woman announce my name and ic no and some other no. to other ppl for checking purpose. then i'm given an orange ballot paper. wah, felt like damn grown up and at the same time felt giddy with excitement and unsure of how to really do it. a bit kancheong la in case undi rosak. so i went to a counter with that barrier cover and put my cross on it. no prize for guessing where my pangkah was at. i even double checked just in case i pangkah wrong okay. damn embarassing if pangkah wrongly k...

anyhow my area is now DAP area! a malay area, now a DAP area. u can just guess how dissatisfied everyone were with the govt. at night my bf and i stayed in just to watch the results on tv. i think if u were up to check the results online u probably would have gotten the updates faster than i did because GODDAMNIT the results on tv damn slow. I think because those ppl damn inefficient and also because they didn't wanna create havoc by showing so many loss so early. i went online to get update too but my wifi was bit cuckoo so that didn't work out v. well. my dad got updates by phone calls though through some uncle who's quite pro mca. was damn happy when i heard that opp won few states. hahaha imagine me cheering at home at the tv.

a political analyst invited by tv3 was being quite an idiot towards the end, maybe around 2ish. it was damn obvious he's either stupid, or trying very hard to incite racial riot. the results were out that 2/3 majority has been denied, then the stupid analyst kept saying things like oh now it's very hard to continue the policy of using bm as the national language as stated by the 'undang2' because now 'WE' don't have the 2/3 majority. is he stupid or what for using the word we? i mean, he's on national tv, and he's supposed to be an independent analyst. that asshole oso brought up some other malay issues la that i obviously cannot remember oredi. my bf and i were so fucking stunned okay!!

Some senseless ranting.

2008-03-04T02:03:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I totally lost my temper trying to find the way to my aunty's place in Shah Alam. I literally screamed on the phone asking for her address because I was given the wrong address. I feel so bratty but really I can't help it. When I reached her place, I had to try really hard to control my facial expression so that everyone couldn't catch on that I was damn pissed off. After a while I felt better. I even layaned my grand aunties playing blackjack. The moment I left the place I felt my mood souring again. I really don't know what's the matter with me so I went to bed but the crappiness returned again this morning and resumed till a while ago. I asked my bf whether I am due for that time of the month. Don't know why I asked him because it's not like he's my menstrual calendar keeper. I think it's probably because I haven't had much time to myself. I like to have my own time doing my own stuff. Maybe just surf the net a bit, or read a book/magazine. And I haven't had that for a bit. Hope tomorrow will be better.

And I thought I can do anything.

2008-02-29T15:52:00.004+08:00

Few years ago my dad decided to buy two new computers without consulting me. Okay, I'm not much of a computer expert but at least I know enough lah. On the outside the computers lookdamn high tech with the flat screen monitors but inside its all crap! I mean, who the hell spend so much on the monitors but only installed 64 MB of RAM? It's not even enough to run Windows XP. I was damn bloody pissed at the guy who sold us the computers because we've dealt with him for so many years and he dared to cheat us.

Anyhow one of the computers died few months ago. After many failed attempts to fix the computer, I got really frustrated because I didn't understand why he couldn't get it working again. So one morning when I was feeling smart (or so I thought), I took out the hard disk and put it into a computer that was working. When I turned the power on, there was this loooonnggg beep from the CPU. Okay, not working. So I put the old hard disk back into the CPU, and STILL THERE WAS the long beep. Crap. Now both the computers are screwed.

This is a lesson for me to not think that I'm so bloody smart and can do anything if I put my mind to it. :P Also a reminder for me to call qualified computer technical support to fix the TWO ruined computers...

Sighs....

Ipoh 2008

2008-02-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

Am in Ipoh right now. There's free wifi everywhere in Ipoh so I could check my email everywhere. Not that I got many important emails to check lah but needed to coordinate a meeting to cut lipsticks. Since I'm a poor person without a 9 to 5 job I gotta save as much as I can lah. Anyways it's a bit wasteful for me to buy a whole tube of lipstick since it's highly unlikely that I will finish using a whole tube EVER.

Ipoh is filled with coffee shops. Why are there so many coffee shops I can't say, but I definitely ate damn a lot. Today I went to have the famous curry mee located opposite MGS Ipoh on Jalan Kampar. It is so bloody yummy k!!! Thick tasty curry soup with lots and lots of liu (chicken and charsiew). It's relatively pricey by Ipoh standards, RM 3.70 but definitely damn worth it by KL standards. Damn lots of liu!! In KL for RM 3.50 you get NOTHING!!!

Will be going back tonight. Miss my bed...

Need to relax a bit.

2008-02-22T16:31:00.004+08:00

Information overload.... too many windows open at the same time...

BTW, if New Zealanders are called Kiwi, isn't it hilarious if people call Malaysians Durians, or Rambutans?

Huge picture of Edison Chen today in The Star. I'm gonna cut it out and get er jie to laminated it for free at work. Hee heeeeeeeee edison so yummyyyy

Edison Chen back in HK

2008-02-21T19:17:00.004+08:00

Edison Chen finally went back to HK and had a press conference. He admitted that it is he who took the photos. Apparently his conquests include wives of rich hongkie businessmen.

Here's a video of the press conference. He looks so sincere, doesn't he? But he's also an actor... Sigh so sad he'll never be in the HK entertainment industry for a longngg longgg time. Still think he's hot... Droopy eyes tho. Don't think that the charity part is necessary. I mean, will people really think that he's a better person after devoting time to charity?

Poker is fun too

2008-02-21T17:48:00.003+08:00

Everyone keeps using the Chinese New Year as an excuse to gamble. As far as I can remember, they've been playing poker since way before CNY, so I don't see any reason they should stop playing even though today is the last day of CNY.

Even the kids are not spared. All the kids at home are kaki judi. They start as early as 8 years old, and yes, they all know how to play mahjong too. Nobody taught them. Kids are really smart. All they do is watch, and when the table is available, they just find a gang of 4 and start doing their stuff. Luckily the kids gambling is limited to only the CNY period, unlike the adults.

For some reason it's quite common to hear people playing poker these days, compared to before. Is poker an 'adult' game? Highly likely. Probably because you gotta have so much capital and when you're still studying or during the early part of your career you can't afford to take a gamble on that much of money. Anyhow, I play a bit, and it's quite fun. I can't believe I lost so much to Ben the other night!! I really thought I had a good pair, but he got two :( It's nice to throw chips around, feel as if we are real high rollers haha. The other time we didn't have poker chips with us, so we played poker using groundnuts as chips. Each chip is RM 1. That was funny throwing peanuts around. My bf the weirdo gave away only the fat groundnuts, he wanted to keep his groundnut chips uniformly small....