Fabulously "Broke" ...in the City

Yes, we have windows!

2009-07-19T18:29:00.006-04:00

Auditioning for Adulthood says: I don't see any windows. PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE WINDOWS!

Yes, yes we do! :) In fact, the ENTIRE apartment has a FULL WALL of floor to ceiling windows.

It's why we save so much money on electricity and lighting -- we don't need it during the day at all. There's a constant stream of light coming in.

I just didn't take a picture, because that would have given away our location.

Suzie Wuzie asks: Do you ever get bored with the clothing you have?

You have no idea. I totally do. But that's where accessories come in!

Easy to wear, carry and use to dress up an outfit. I should also mention that I DO have more clothes, they're just packed in that one suitcase (really, really packed in).

And I find that with an ENTIRE suitcase of clothes, and half a suitcase of purses and shoes... I'm more than happy to stick with what I've got, mix and match, rip and re-fashion, and love what I have.

If I want a change, I troll Etsy and buy more necklaces rather than clothes, shoes or bags. (See: What FB Wants)

LAL mentioned that the futon hurt her DH's hips and now they sleep on a Tempurpedic mattress

Actually, that Tempurpedic mattress is a lot like our futon. You can get futons in that style and softness. We opted for the green, organic cotton option, but they had tempurpedic-like futons.

The one we have is REALLY thick and soft, and normally, you'd use double what we use as a futon-style bed. I have a post on that coming up soon.

A real Japanese-style futon on a floor (as opposed to a college-style futon) isn't as hard as what some people think. It just takes some getting used to, as it isn't as soft as most people's beds, and it's quite a thick mattress.

Candace remarked: It seems harder than it looks to get everything in harmony with the right colours and feelings

Yeah. I agree. It's why BF and I stick to white or beige walls -- neutral walls go with everything. We also find that a slight splash of colour is nice, but too much.. and it feels like too much energy to be calming for us.

Remember, this style is only for now. When we move (permanently I hope!) to Dallas, we're going to definitely get a hard couch (like a bench style..) and maybe a soft side chair for me to chill out on.

I want to show you a dream green apartment I trolled on Apartment Therapy that looks ideal for our lifestyle!

Isn't it awesome!? It's small, compact and ideal for us.. with a couch for guests :) And we could repurpose every single room...

Have I killed BF yet? (aka FB's New Apartment)

2009-07-19T05:00:00.001-04:00

As promised, our new apartment!

To recap, these are the changes we've made this month.

Metscan asked: Why is it that you're chopping down the budget? Is it just a challenge for you?

Kind of, yes.

Well, for the grocery chops, BF was actually noticing he was getting a bit pudgy around the waist (I liked it.. like a built in pillow for me).

But he has actual health concerns with weight and when he notices it getting a bit out of control, he immediately takes action, instead of 50 pounds later.

So, it was mostly a health thing to start looking at what we eat each month, and we noticed that we were eating DOUBLE what we could eat, just because we liked to eat.

So instead of putting in double the amount of meat, or making an extra large cake, we just cut the portions in half (immediate savings) and from there, he became a demon at chopping the budget down, lower and lower.

As for the other cost saving measures, it was to be more eco-friendly (using less electricity), and the moving to a smaller studio was an experiment to simply see if we could do it and to start seeing what kind of space we need if we were to buy a home in the future, and how much we actually need to spend, to eat well, live well and be happy.

So here are the basic living breakdowns again, all amounts are per person for each month:

BIGGEST SAVINGS

Rent: moved from a 1 bedroom to a studio
Internet: switched providers from Bell to Rogers
Groceries: BF was on a hell of a warpath since last month to cut our bill down. Totally not my idea.

SO HOW DOES IT FEEL?

To save money? Freaking awesome.

Now I can definitely say that a $1000/month budget works for me, because I have extra money left over for spending on eating out or whatever I choose to spend my $300/month on, if I decide to.

NO, NO.. I MEAN LIVING IN A SMALL STUDIO..

Er.. well the good news is that I haven't killed BF yet.

No, seriously... we actually prefer a smaller studio over the large 1 bedroom for a couple of key reasons:

The kitchen has a bar top area allowing for added space and freedom to be in the kitchen at the same time. It means that while BF is in the kitchen I can be on the other side in the living area, preparing a meal, instead of jostling him in the kitchen for space.

We don't have much furniture, so the room now feels "juuuuust right", instead of too spacious. That may sound odd to some of you, but too much space, felt too empty. We didn't feel comfortable with such an open space, after selling our furniture. It seemed like such a waste.

Didn't spend much time in the bedroom during the day in the old apartment, so being in a studio where the living room IS the bedroom, it's perfect for our little futon as a bed & couch lifestyle.

And we love the little closet/storage room just off the bathroom, because we can come out of the bathroom and have a little private area to dress in and dry off instead of walking straight into an apartment, or feeling cramped.

LET ME TAKE YOU ON A TOUR...

Walking in, this is what our front hall way looks like.

The front closet is actually my clothing closet. I don't have much here, and I packed my winter stuff into storage. You'll see.

Here's my closet, in the front closet.

My clothes are on the far right. BF took the other side.

Kitchen to your right...

And just above the right side, near the sink area, there's a bar top counter where we keep all of our fruits and veggies.

This really frees up a TON of space on our dining room table.

On the other side is our other walk-in storage area with a fridge (don't ask) and more shelves, plus a little storage room (straight ahead).

Here's the storage closet in the walk-in storage area.

The walk in storage area also leads into the bathroom on the right.

We don't have towels in there because we hang it up in the walk-in storage area

I love the little cubby thing that goes across. All my potions and lotions are hidden in there, as well as BF's electric razor.

Heading out of there completely, you are immediately in the dining/office room area..

(see? clear, empty table! It's great.)

.. and the view from the other side is where we sleep on our futon, and our "bedside" is the floor space beside the bed.

I am clearly the side with the teddy bear. :)

That rack on the side also turned into a electronics station.

We have our folders for our companies, our mini netbooks, BF's Macbook that he uses occasionally, and an iPod is set up in the middle of the two speakers (not pictured) that we use as a music center.

Printer is below, with items we have to scan, plus blank paper.

And below that, is more files, and our hard drives in cases.

That's it!

Small eh? But we love it. We don't feel cramped at all, it feels cosy and spacious at the same time.

BUT... HOW?

Well, the big things are that we don't own a TV, and therefore don't have a couch, nor do we have much furniture. Our dining room is also our office, and our bedroom is also our living room.

Wabi sabi* and all that.

*wabi sabi is the Japanese art of essentially making things and rooms have more than one purpose.

I think that when people say "I need a bigger home", what they should be saying is "I need to re-think what I have, and maybe pare down".

There are a lot of homes I've been to, where I just.. feel so cramped and cluttered, and the space was triple or four times the size of what I was living in!

There is just too much STUFF everywhere in people's homes, and as I drift deeper and deeper into a minimalist lifestyle, I am noticing all of it in great detail.

Stuff on the walls, dysfunctional pieces of furniture that aren't useful, everything in a mess, boxes stacked up to the ceiling....

This is a disease, people! :)

It's called Affluenza, and if you ever think you need MORE space when what you have should be enough, you're just fooling yourself. You just need to re-evaluate the space you have and make it work.

WHAT ABOUT IF GUESTS VISIT?

In our other apartment, we had space for guests. That was nice.

But to be honest, how many people really visit us each year?

I'd say we get less than one visit a year, because people just don't have the time to come to Montreal and chill for vacation when they could be in Vegas or NYC instead.

Sad, but true. I sometimes use food as an incentive to visit me.... and it only worked on my sister!

But seriously, having a guest room is nice, but it's a luxury, and not really needed. If we get guests, we'll get a Japanese folding panel or something, and put it up in the middle of the room, and set up a second futon on the other side as a bed.

And since guests are supposed to be temporary visitors anyway, this will be a nice way to get them to understand that they can't overstay their welcome. :P

However, if you ARE a family that hosts a lot.. by all means, a guest room is a MUST HAVE for you.

But for us? Not so much. Kind of a waste.

Are you a geek?

2009-07-18T11:00:00.000-04:00

Wired asks if you are a geek, and lists out the 100 Essential Skills for Geeks.

I am apparently not a geek. LOL But I think I'm pretty geeky for a girl, so... does that score me brownie points?

The problem is I am more of a need-to-know, practical geek. If I don't need to know how to take apart a laptop because it serves no purpose in my life, I don't bother learning it.

The brain can only hold so much, people...

Here's the complete list (And they aren't all computer-related)

Anything in red, is a no go for me!

1. Properly secure a wireless router.
2. Crack the WEP key on a wireless router.
3. Leech Wifi from your neighbor.
4. Screw with Wifi leeches.
5. Setup and use a VPN.
6. Work from home or a coffee shop as effectively as you do at the office.
7. Wire your own home with Ethernet cable.
8. Turn a web camera into security camera.
9. Use your 3G phone as a Wi-Fi access point. (In my defense, I don't own a 3G phone)
10. Understand what “There’s no Place Like 127.0.0.1” means.
11. Identify key-loggers.
12. Properly connect a TV, Tivo, XBox, Wii, and Apple TV so they all work together with the one remote.
13. Program a universal remote.
14. Swap out the battery on your iPod/iPhone.
15. Benchmark Your Computer
16. Identify all computer components on sight.
17. Know which parts to order from NewEgg.com, and how to assemble them into a working PC.
18. Troubleshoot any computer/gadget problem, over the phone.
19. Use any piece of technology intuitively, without instruction or prior knowledge.
20. How to irrecoverably protect data.
21. Recover data from a dead hard drive.
22. Share a printer between a Mac and a PC on a network. HELL YES!
23. Install a Linux distribution. (Hint: Ubuntu 9.04 is easier than installing Windows)
24. Remove a virus from a computer.
25. Dual (or more) boot a computer.
26. Boot a computer off a thumb drive.
27. Boot a computer off a network drive.
28. Replace or repair a laptop keyboard.
29. Run more than two monitors on a single computer.
30. Successfully disassemble and reassemble a laptop.
31. Know at least 10 software easter eggs off the top of your head. WTF are these?
32. Bypass a computer password on all major operating systems. Windows, Mac, Linux
33. Carrying a computer cleaning arsenal on your USB drive.
34. Bypass content filters on public computers.
35. Protect your privacy when using a public computer.
36. Surf the web anonymously from home.
37. Buy a domain, configure bind, apache, MySQL, php, and Wordpress without Googling a how-to.
38. Basic *nix command shell knowledge with the ability to edit and save a file with vi.
39. Create a web site using vi.
40. Transcode a DVD to play on a portable device.
41. Hide a file in an image using steganography.
42. Knowing the answer to life, the universe and everything. (I am assuming it's 42)
43. Share a single keyboard and mouse between multiple computers without a KVM switch.
44. Google obscure facts in under 3 searches. Bonus point if you can use I Feel Lucky.
45. Build amazing structures with LEGO and invent a compelling back story for the creation.
46. Understand that it is LEGO, not Lego, Legos, or Lego’s.
47. Build a two story house out of LEGO, in monochrome, with a balcony.
48. Construct a costume for you or your kid out of scraps, duct tape, paper mâché, and imagination.
49. Be able to pick a lock.
50. Determine the combination of a Master combination padlock in under 10 minutes.
51. Assemble IKEA furniture without looking at the instructions. Bonus point if you don’t have to backtrack.
52. Use a digital SLR in full manual mode.
53. Do cool things to Altoids tins.
54. Be able to construct paper craft versions of space ships.
55. Origami! Bonus point for duct tape origami. (Ductigami)
56. Fix anything with duct tape, chewing gum and wire.
57. Knowing how to avoid being eaten by a grue.
58. Know what a grue is.
59. Understand where XYZZY came from, and have used it.
60. Play any SNES game on your computer through an emulator.
61. Burn the rope.
62. Know the Konami code, and where to use it.
63. Whistle, hum, or play on an iPhone, the Cantina song.
64. Learning to play the theme songs to the kids favorite TV shows.
65. Solve a Rubik’s Cube.
66. Calculate THAC0.
67. Know the difference between skills and traits.
68. Explain special relativity in terms an eight-year-old can grasp.
69. Recite pi to 10 places or more.
70. Be able to calculate tip and split the check, all in your head.
71. Explain that the colours in a rainbow are roygbiv.
72. Understand the electromagnetic spectrum - xray, uv, visible, infrared, microwave, radio.
73. Know the difference between radiation and radioactive contamination.
74. Understand basic electronics components like resistors, capacitors, inductors and transistors.
75. Solder a circuit while bottle feeding an infant. (lead free solder please.)
76. The meaning of technical acronyms.
77. The coffee dash, blindfolded (or blurry eyed). Coffee [cream] [sugar]. In under a minute (I don't drink coffee).
78. Build a fighting robot.
79. Program a fighting robot.
80. Build a failsafe into a fighting robot so it doesn’t kill you.
81. Be able to trace the Fellowship’s journey on a map of Middle Earth.
82. Know all the names of the Dwarves in The Hobbit.
83. Understand the difference between a comic book and a graphic novel.
84. Know where your towel is and why it is important.
85. Re-enact the parrot sketch.
86. Know the words to The Lumberjack Song.
87. Reciting key scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
88. Be able to recite at least one Geek Movie word for word.
89. Know what the 8th Chevron does on a Stargate and how much power is required to get a lock.
90. Be able to explain why it’s important that Han shot first.
91. Know why it is just wrong for Luke and Leia to kiss.
92. Stop talking Star Wars long enough to get laid.
93. The ability to name actors, characters and plotlines from the majority of sci-fi movies produced since 1968.
94. Cite Mythbusters when debunking a myth or urban legend.
95. Sleep with a Cricket bat next to your bed.
96. Have a documented plan on what to do during a zombie or robot uprising.
97. Identify evil alternate universe versions of friends, family, co-workers or self.
98. Be able to convince TSA that the electronic parts you are carrying are really not a threat to passengers.
99. Talk about things that aren’t tech related.
100. Get something on the front page of Digg.

39/100 is my score.

Erg.. :) A lot of the stuff on there is impractical though. I should make a list for PRACTICAL geeks.

HOW DID YOU DO?

Another big thanks & a sign up code to get $5 in Swagbucks to start

2009-07-18T09:36:00.003-04:00

Another big thanks to everyone who joined up using my Swagbucks referral!

So far, I've earned $35 in cash in the past week just by searching using Swagbucks.com, and that means if I had wanted, I could have had Amazon gift cards for up to $70!!!

($5 in cash is more "expensive", using 70 Swagbucks, whereas and Amazon gift card is 45 Swagbucks for $5)

So I chatted with Swagbucks and got my own code to give you more Swagbucks when you sign up as a new member.

If you sign up here at: swagbucks.com/refer/FabulouslyBroke

....and enter in the code BROKEINTHECITY

You will get $5 in Swagbucks to start off.

Valid only until Thursday July 23rd!

Thanks again everyone! :)

Youz got questions? Iz got answers.

2009-07-18T08:16:00.006-04:00

Lots of you loved and tweeted to me that you loved my post on minimalism!

Good to hear :) But I don't know what else I can tell you except to give you organizing tips and to show you what we own (a post on that coming up)

But there were a lot of questions that maybe... can be answered in a separate post to help others who may have been thinking the same thing and don't want to delurk.

So here goes!

Debtor in NYC asks: When you sell or donate, how do you do it? Ebay? Craigslist? Do you make a significant amount off your items?

The short answer is when I sell, I used eBay a lot but I am not sure I'd use them again. I hate the fees they charge and the rules have changed to really f*ck sellers, for lack of better phrasing. I understand that some sellers are scammers, but I don't want to have to deal with buyers who are liars!

(Whoa.. the rhyming and alliteration is fired up in me today)

And the last lot of clothes (everything else) went on Craig's List for $500, even. I just wanted it GONE.

In total, I made around $1000, and donated a portion of that to charity. A large portion in fact. I think I said 15% on the site, but ended up giving 25% and putting the rest towards my monstrous $60k debt.

I could have stayed until the very end, listing every single piece on eBay, but it was getting too tiring with the listing, the scanning at night and then the travelling to see my BF for 10 hours a week after working 10 hour days.. it was exhausting.

The long answer, is that if you want a post on how to sell things on eBay, tips on shipping etc.. I already have it in the works as requested by candybeee and Krystal!

Concojones remarked that it must have been a hell of a time, 3 months of scanning to get rid of paperwork!

Yes, yes it was.

But you have to understand, I worked 10 hour days, was gone on the weekends to another city, and was also selling stuff in my closet (taking pictures, listing, describing, measuring, estimating, worrying).... so scanning was a bit of a relief.

I did it while talking to BF on Skype, and it was 3 months at maybe an hour or two each night, 4 days a week.

The total is around 96 hours spent scanning (on the high end)... which I don't consider awful, because now my filing cabinet is SO light. I'm going to give that to my mom as well, to help her organize her mess of papers.

Several of you asked: NO FURNITURE? Like no dishes, no bed, no.. nothing?

Well we have that stuff now to live with. Of course we have a place to sleep, eat and to put food on! :)

Don't worry, I have a post coming up on my apartment, and you're going to see what we actually have as of today.

But when we move, yes.. nothing except our futon that can be rolled up and used to travel (I have a post on futon sleeping coming up as well as requested by Concojones).

We won't move with dishes, racks or anything major that we have, that we can repurchase in the States, because we're going to give all of that stuff to my parents who desperately need an organizing system and extra plates/dishes, etc.

As for the lone table, we are going to sell it. And the 2 bikes. And electronics we don't use.

So yeah. 3 Suitcases, 2 Carryons. It can be done.

eemusings wanted to know if all of the shoes in that post were mine

Hell yes!! :)

I only (look at me.. "only"..) had about 50+ pairs of shoes. It looks like a lot, but it isn't. I sold off a lot of them, but I have quite a few left out of necessity for everything I do.

Doing a count, I currently have around 22 pairs of shoes (including winter boots, rain boots, running shoes, everyday trash-em shoes, biking shoes and flip flops).

Got any more? Throw 'em here..

Interview: G&D from All Things G&D

2009-07-18T05:00:00.018-04:00

Today, I am interviewing the stunning Dusty of G&D from All Things G&D.

No joke, this poor girl filled out the interview and sent it to me in APRIL 2008 .. no 2009. Sorry.

And I am only getting around to posting it now.

How pathetic am I? Seriously? ... wait, that was a joke, don't answer that.

And without further ado, Dusty!

In your line of work, does fashion play a huge role?

Not at all. We have a very casual office—I could wear jeans to work everyday if I wanted. If anything, when I do dress up my boss gets nervous thinking I might have a job interview.

Pick 4 dishes you could eat for the rest of your life!

This is a lot of pressure.

And I’m suddenly feeling the urge to binge eat over the thought of cutting out any food from my life!

(FB: It's a common casualty of being interviewed!)

After much deliberation, here are my top 4 dishes*:

Boneless buffalo chicken wings

(FB: Nice call on the "boneless" part)

Caesar salad

Teriyaki filet
(FB: This is what I got for "teriyaki filet". I hope it isn't disappointing...)

Fish & chips

*Wine not included in my Top 4 because it’s not a dish—it’s an essential.

Why is fashion and style such an important subject for you?

The right outfit can set the tone for your day and have a major influence on your mood. Putting effort into putting yourself together also tells the world a lot about you.

And the bottom line is—fashion is inspiring!

Name your 3 best buys/investments, and why do you consider them so?

1. Shoes.

Shoes make an outfit. I’ve seen women dressed in gorgeous outfits that just fall flat when you get to their feet.

On the flip side, basic jeans and a tank top is a knock-out look with the right pair of stilettos.

2. Handbags.

First of all, handbags always fit—so that’s a plus. A good handbag is priceless and timeless. And just like shoes, handbags can also make an outfit—and turn heads!

3. Coats/Jackets/Outerwear.

I live in Wisconsin were you need some type of outer layer during most months of the year.

Most people see my coat more than they see my clothes—that’s why I think it’s important to have great outwear pieces.

And a nice variety. I like to switch my coats up depending on my outfit, handbag, mood—and of course, the weather.

What are the 3 worst fashion trends....EVER?

1. Fake designer handbags.

I think they are a waste of money and look ridiculous.

I have a friend who spent the same amount on a poorly made, poorly done, designer knock-off that I recently spent on a genuine, well-made bag at Coach Outlet.

Same price—two completely different results.

2. People who do not dress age-appropriate.

This applies to all ages, but what really chaps my ass are young girls dressing to look older and sexier. A 10-year-old should not bare her midriff. A 6-year-old should not know what a thong is. Period.

3. Hyper-colored anything.

If we learned anything from the 90’s it’s to just say no. This applies to color-changing cotton as well.

Do you have a signature touch?

My style is casual, simple, and classic. I don’t have a “signature touch” other than possibly my lack of accessorizing. I almost never wear jewelry—I just don’t prefer it. That’s probably why I put so much emphasis on handbags, shoes and other kinds of accessories.

(FB: Total opposite of me. LOL! I love jewelery)

My fail-safe outfit is a solid black top, jeans, and a pair of stilettos---perfect for nearly every occasion.

What are the major things that define who you are and inspires you?
My biggest fashion inspiration lately has got to be Jessica Schroeder’s What I Wore blog. I love how this girl throws an outfit together!

She’s inspired me to try and be more feminine with my clothing choices—lighter colors, floral patterns, girly accessories—which I especially need now that spring is here!

What's are 5 top things/services you can't live without?

In addition to my handbags, shoes, and outerwear, I’d have to say:

1. Mascara

2. Cover Girl Simply Powder Foundation

3. SPF Moisturizers—for my face, body, and lips.

4. Sunglasses

5. Wine

You have $1000 to spend. Where would you go and what would you look for?

With $1,000 to burn on fashion I’d probably blow most of it on shoes, maybe pick up a handbag, and try to find one classic, timeless outerwear piece—all things I’ll have forever.

With any leftover money I’d hit up my favorite clothing stores which are GAP and The Limited. I’m not much of an experimental shopper. I like to stick to the same stores because I know what works for me and what fits—and I don’t like to dig.

What's on your "Must-Buy" list right now?

Sadly, nothing. I have very little willpower. If something is a “must buy” for me there’s no time for lists. It must be purchased as soon as possible. It’s a curse.

Name 3 of the most frustrating things about going shopping

1. Parking

2. Crowded stores and lines at the fitting rooms

3. Finding something fabulous on the clearance rack, only to discover they don’t have it in my size.

What's behind your blog name and what made you want to start blogging?

My blog name is All Things G&D. G&D has been my “online name” for years—it’s the first initials of my husband (G for Greg) and me (D for Dusty).

I started my blog planning to write about home decorating, but knew I didn’t want to be locked into that niche since I have so many other interests.

I wanted to blog about whatever came to my mind and wanted a title that was all-inclusive. I thought of All Things G&D and it was perfect!

(FB: It is. Thanks, Dusty! Sorry for the late post *ducks head*)

Toronto's Garbage Worker Strike

2009-07-17T07:49:00.006-04:00

In case you don't know what the fugg is going on, Toronto's Garbage Workers have gone on STRIKE.

What for, you ask?

For more MONEY of course!!!

I found out via Ginger Won't Snap, and saw an excellent comment by a Miss Emma that says what I was thinking when I heard the news:

But as Ginger said, maybe this is the silver lining to get people to reduce their trash as a result of seeing it pile up in the streets?

Gross.

I also think that the garbage workers are just causing more trouble for themselves in the end.

The Sanitation Department has to go around and help them sanitize a city, tourism is going to hurt because no one wants to be walking around in stinky FILTH, and they're going to have to pick up ALL OF THAT ISH sooner or later.

IT IS ALL GOING TO COST US EXTRA MONEY, TIME AND EFFORT that we cannot afford to waste right now.

I think Emma makes a great point about thinking of others in these times of recession.

Do these garbage workers REALLY want to lose their cushy unionized jobs at this time?

And there are others out there hurting who may become freelancers and just offer private garbage removal services to the City instead, screwing everyone who doesn't want to work for what I think is decent pay in these times (I think they get something like $30/hour?).

Or what if cheaper workers come in and work for minimum wage just to make ends meet? These garbage workers are now going to be broke assed, unemployed workers standing in a Food Bank line just because of a couple of sick days and a whine for higher pay in this kind of economy.

It's going to become a habit! The teachers almost strike every 3 years in this city also aggravate me because they do the same damn thing!!!!

The pressure is on.

(P.S. I hear in France, groups of union workers take turns striking during the year, sometimes taking the summer off. Confirm?)

Becoming a Minimalist: The Journey & Primer

2009-07-17T05:00:00.002-04:00

Everyone seems to want to know the secret to becoming a minimalist.

So here's my behemoth once and for all overview.

How did I become one to begin with?
How did you get rid of all your sentimental items?
How did I cut down my wardrobe by more than 50%?
How am I going to fit everything I own into 3 suitcases and 2 carry-ons?

All very good questions.

How I became a minimalist

It sounds so simple, it may be stupid.

I just decided to.

It's the same thing as deciding to start taking care of your finances, start reducing the amount of chemicals you use every day, to quit smoking (I never started), or to lose that stubborn 15 pounds.

I looked around my home, and asked myself something along these lines:
Do I feel stressed out by all this stuff?
Do I feel bogged down by everything I own, to the point of feeling sluggish?
Do I own multiples of the same thing - like a Jacob sweater in 4 different solid colours?
Do I want a cleaner, more zen sort of quality of life?
Do I need all this to live?
And that's when I decided it was time for a change.
I had filled up a good 4 closets packed tight with clothes and purses.
I had drawers full of jewellery I never really loved or wore.
My books were clogging all my bookshelves and spilling over onto the floor.
I could never find anything.
I had half used pens that had dried up long ago but I had kept for sentimentality.
I had so much paper in my filing system, I almost wanted to buy a second one.
It also didn't hurt that I was heavily in debt, and I wanted to sell everything I had just to get out of debt.

How I decided to pare down on everything

It was pretty easy for me.

I set a goal to eliminate half of my wardrobe so that it would fit into ONE closet, rather than the 2-3 closets I was taking up.

THE GOAL

WHAT I HAD TO PARE DOWN

MY WARDROBE STRATEGY

1. I tossed the following items:

Torn
Stained
Irreparable beyond belief
Unwearable

2. I was left with everything else, so I quickly and ruthlessly sorted the rest of the items into two piles:

Sell/Donate
Keep

3. I sold/donated the following items:

Items that didn't fit
Colours I don't wear any longer (like black)
Duplicates

The questions I asked while going through the rest of the pile:
Is it something I'd really wear again? No - Sell/Donate.
Does it look good on me and my body type? No - Sell/Donate.
Does it fit any longer? No - Sell/Donate.
Have I worn this in the last year? No - Sell/Donate.
Is there a duplicate that I can get rid of? Yes - Sell/Donate.
Are there tags still on it? Yes - Sell/Donate.
Am I keeping it just for sentimental reasons?* Yes - Sell/Donate.

*The sentimental part was difficult so I had another set of questions:
Do I really need to keep this?
Why am I keeping this?
Can I just photograph it?
I allowed myself to keep only 5 sentimental items - baby blanket, hand-painted t-shirts made by my mother, and hand-tailored garments she had tailored for me when I was born.

4. I set the items to donate/sell out of sight and out of mind.

I didn't donate or try to sell the items until a month or so later, just to make sure I didn't want to wear it again. If I kept it out of sight, I wouldn't be tempted to pull it back into my wardrobe.

5. I re-sorted again going through those questions above:

I went through the process again and again until I was satisfied with my super small keep pile's goal of cutting it down by 50%.

6. I re-sorted my keep pile into:

Kept for sentimental reasons
Take to tailor (taking in the darts to make it fit better on the bust)
Repair at home (sewing button on)
Keep as a favourite

The result was that I'd keep all my favourite items, and only pieces that I'd truly love and
actually wear on a regular basis.

As for my jewellery, FB Read: A Minimalist's Jewellery Box.

I've since added about 5-10 necklaces, but I'm reasoning that out because I don't buy shoes any more, and jewellery is much easier to pack. :D

MY PAPER/FILING/BOOKS STRATEGY

I only kept books I loved to read (See: FB Library), and sold the rest. I sold my manga (no X-Men, sorry!) to comic book stores, and only kept Usagi Yojimbo and Lone Wolf & Cub.

As for my papers, I basically did a major scan-a-thon. I purchased a cheap Canon LiDE scanner for around $100, and spent 3 months of my free time (not including weekends), scanning.

Every night. I scanned in everything I didn't have to keep a paper copy of, and shredded the whole lot.

I must have gotten rid of about 50 lbs of paper. I kept everything, so I scanned it all.

And that's how I did it.

How I am going to fit my life into 3 suitcases:

No furniture
Not more than 2 coats - light summer coat and a fall coat

What I am going to bring:
All my electronics
All my jewellery
All my clothes
All my shoes
All my purses
Not many books (c'mon I have to bring my manga and some books at least!)
So now, everything really does fit into three suitcases after I did a major pare down.

I have two purchased already:

N-Motion Duffle Bag - 30"
Will fit my clothes since they expand a lot, and some books for support
Purses too
And shoes so they'll be properly cushioned.

N-Motion Rolling Suitcase Bag - 30"
Almost everything else.
Books will go in here since there are strong sides on this thing.

And I'm going to carry my electronics in my 2 carry-ons (purse and rolling mini suitcase).

I may need a third suitcase just to even out the weight of everything since it may be over the limit after the books go in the one suitcase.

United Airlines Breaks Guitars (the song)

2009-07-16T15:56:00.000-04:00

Hilarious!!!

I am not even kvetching over the fact that it's a country western song. It's pretty catchy.. United.. breaks.. guitars..

Personal Finance Mad Lib

2009-07-16T10:52:00.006-04:00

Hosted by Punch Debt in the Face!

MY FILLED IN VERSION

Hi my name is FB . I currently have $180.25 dollars in my wallet. When I started managing my finances I was worth around -$53,000 ($60k of debt included that I cleared in 18 months), and now have a net worth of +$70,341 at market rates.

I currently work as an IT Consultant and have been doing it for 3.5 years. I make roughly $60,000 up to $250,000 per year.

I want to have $6 million in liquidity waiting for me when it comes time to retire.

Aside from learning about finances, I really enjoy blogging or reading. I think the world would be a better place if laziness didn’t exist.

I had homemade paella and cheesecake for dinner last night and it was the best meal BF has ever made, to date.

I have had 3 significant others over the course of my lifetime (counting awkward middle school relationships). One thing that makes me different is my eco-friendly/conscious spending but fashionista/yuppie perspective on life.

Now that I’m done with this mad lib, I think I’m going to take buy some beef to make short ribs.

THE BLANK VERSION

Hi my name is (blank) . I currently have (blank) dollars in my wallet. When I started managing my finances I was worth (blank), and now have a net worth of (blank). I currently work (blank) and have been doing it for (blank) years. I make roughly (blank) per year. I want to have (blank) waiting for me when it comes time to retire. Aside from learning about finances, I really enjoy (blank). I think the world would be a better place if (blank) didn’t exist. I had (blank) for dinner last night and it was (blank). I have had (blank) significant others over the course of my lifetime (counting awkward middle school relationships). One thing that makes me different is (blank). Now that I’m done with this mad lib, I think I’m going to (blank).

If you do it on your blog, you can link it back to his site, or to here. Fill it out, yourself!

Smashing Darling - A new independent store obsession

2009-07-16T05:00:00.001-04:00

I just discovered this independent designer site! Other than Etsy, this is going to prove to be one of my favourite places to shop at now.

I immediately ran to the Jewelery > Necklaces section because that's my "thing", and this is what I found right away.

Persia - $280
Strangely enough, it appeared under Men's Necklaces... but it's too pretty and girly to be there. :\

There was also a heart necklace under Men's Necklaces.. as if a guy would wear that :|

Black Disc Necklace - $42
Cute, but I just wish it wasn't in black.

Silva - $130
Simple. And bold.

Goldfish Necklace - $46
This is just too freaking adorable, but modern. I like the quirkiness of this.

Concerto Necklace - $174
I love the looping of circles and the toggle clasp.

N16 - $350
I find it a bit much, but I just find the shapes pleasing. Maybe if there were less petals that'd be better.

Sierra Ms. Trout - $80
Fishy, fishy.

Sterling Silver Lariat - $45
I like how it loops together like a lariat

Sterling Leaf Necklace - $47
Leaves. My love.

Arabella Venus Scarf Necklace - $125
I am not sure I am 100% on board with this necklace, but I like the fun aspect of it.

#N-78 - $64
I wouldn't wear it as a choker, but I like the chains.

Flock - $59
I love the birds swooping down.

Floret - $95
Pretty, modern, simple.

Blue Lace Agate Stripes - $148
Very bold. I like v-neck tops so this is sweet.

Agua Azul - $62
I don't like it to be a choker style, I like it to hang a bit lower, but I like the mix.

Mmm... Am going to have to stay away from this site.

Any bad experience can be a good one

2009-07-15T05:00:00.003-04:00

Bla bla bla.

Silver lining in a cloud and all that horsesh*t is probably what you're thinking right?

What about the fact that I lost my job! Lost my home! Ended up having to move to a crappy part of town where I'm getting shot at! Eating rice with soy sauce to make it through the day!

Yeah, ALL of that sucks. Don't get me wrong. IT ALL SUCKS.

Life has hit rock bottom for you, and you've had to do some things you aren't happy about and normally would not have done had you done X, Y and Z.

But that's all in the past now. It's moot. Emotionally heart wrenching, painful beyond belief .... but MOOT.

The real question is: What are you going to do now? TODAY.

Are you going to sit around and moan about your life?

Maybe take up begging (what I call the lazy way out for people who are educated, but too proud to take ANY job that comes their way) to ask for money from strangers who may be facing similarly horrible problems, like this woman? (Pictured on left)

Don't get me wrong. It's a sad situation. Why did it have to happen to you? And why not to someone else?

I don't have the answer to that, but what I CAN tell you is that if you are a fairly healthy, educated person with no visible or mental disabilities, and you are resourceful and hardworking, you can get off your ass, take your hat off from the pity party and pick yourself up off the floor.

This woman, went from a bookstore owner to being homeless. She lived on food stamps. She couch surfed. And was a former accountant.

Great!

Take what you've got and RUN WITH IT.

She had food. She had shelter (even temporary) and she has marketable skills that don't have to be used or pigeonholed into one industry -- accounting.

She wasn't a former housewife, unceremoniously dumped on her ass, lacking ANY skills whatsoever and she has OPTIONS, even unemployed and homeless.

As a former accountant and business owner, she can do anything that relates to the skills she has learned:
Organization
Bookkeeping
Accounting Principles (GAAP)
Marketing/Advertising Skills
Dealing with Suppliers/Vendors (Accounts Receivable/Payable)
Managing Employees
Payroll
~~Running the numbers and seeing the signs when she's in trouble~~

And that's just off the top of my head. Heck, who knows? She could be a closeted web designer too!

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ME, FB?

You're thinking: What the hell do you know? You haven't lived in despairing poverty, or been shot at, or lost your home, your job, your sense of identity!?!

And you're right. I haven't. I totally give that to you.

But what I do know, is that your sad situation CAN be turned into a good one if you have the right perspective, even if my experiences were nowhere as awful as yours.

A lot of things I've been given in life, were out of luck. But I do have the mindset that I make my own luck (which in other words, can be called hard work).

When I wanted money to pay for rent and my tuition, I hustled around town, knocking on store owner's front doors, and asking them if they were interested in having a website done for cheap for them.

Many politely declined, but after weeks, I started to get tentative calls about a couple of website jobs here and there. It wasn't much money as I was starting out, but the small amounts helped pay some of the bills.

So no. I don't know what it's like to live on KD day after day. Or to live in poverty. Or to dress like a cast member of Roseanne's. Or to beg for food using food stamps.

But what I do know, is how to deal with MY problems in life that may seem daunting to some, easy to others, and overall still a challenge for ME because we're all at different places and stages in life.

NO ONE DESERVES ANYTHING: GOOD OR BAD

Look, I'm not trying to say: You DESERVE to be poor. You DESERVE to have had lost your job. You DESERVE to be eating only rice and beans.

Nobody deserves ANYTHING. Good or bad.

What's dealt to you in life, is by stroke of luck and how you handle a devastating blow, turning a bad situation into a positive one.

I'm going to sound all cheesy on you right now, but take this experience you are going through as a GOOD one. Look for the positives in it and understand that it was partly your fault (maybe), but also the fact that life just happened to deal you a rotten hand.

But what you shouldn't do, is give up. Like this woman. As I said on Madame X's blog post about her, I couldn't bleed a heart for her.

I was sad and sympathetic for her, but slightly annoyed.

To me, she took the easy way out. Sitting in front of your store for a while, begging for money is something I'd do if I was in horrible, horrible shock. Numb, dazed...

But she seemed pretty sound of mind. She was a former accountant, then a bookstore owner. She saw all the signs before she had to abruptly close her store, what she called "little OH SH*T moments"....

She was getting behind on rent. She just.. (in my opinion after reading the article)..let it all slide down to hell in a hand basket.

When you start getting behind on rent.

Or you start seeing numbers grow bigger and bigger (like your debt), I know that people can't all be flexible enough to spot the problems and go: Oh. OH. We need to re-assess the situation and make a Plan B Exit Strategy before this gets out of control.

But you gotta admit. She turned into an Ossie the Ostrich instead of panicking like Chicken Little, the way she should've.

YOUR SITUATION IS USEFUL FOR EVERYONE TO LEARN FROM

And your bad situations can actually help others. Like me for one.

I read that story, and renewed my resolve to keep finding ways to balance out my life so that I could live on very little each month, learn how to curb my tendencies to upgrade my lifestyle, sort out my priorities and have a rich, fulfilling life without putting ALL of the emphasis on material goods (what? I still like to shop.)

I also learned how to spot moochie, parasitic people, learned to NEVER get into debt for a car loan I cannot afford, and how not to buy more house than you can afford.

After reading these articles, BF and I sometimes talk about them... and we like to re-assess our life every 6 months or so.

Recently, we moved to a smaller studio apartment and started implementing other strategies to cut back on our budget (BF is heavily invested in saving on food for some reason).

But we did it. We chopped our budget by around $400 EACH when all was said and done.

Yet, with a different mindset, we don't feel like we've lost anything at all, or feeling imprisoned. In fact, we feel like we've GAINED a perspective on life -- that it can be simpler, less stressful and even better than before.

I also read many other blog posts about really CRAPPY things that happen to people, like having to agonize over losing a home, or having to file for bankruptcy.

And I feel terribly bad for everyone.... but I do take it in stride and reflect upon the situation, and apply it to my life to see if I could come up with a contingency plan to make sure that I NEVER get into that position.

I even have these quiet moments, when I look back at how f*cking lucky I got in some situations.

And I think: Wow, I scraped by the skin of my teeth with getting what I might term lucky with choosing the right job, being put on right projects and just being at the right place at the right time to clear my debt in such a short amount of time.

But now that I have perfect 20/20 hindsight, I'm re-adjusting my situation constantly, to make sure that I never have to say something like: That was a close one, again.

Some, weren't even in my control.

Like how my parents managed THEIR finances, gave me a bad start in life, but there has to be a turning point where you say: Enough is enough, I gotta take control and clear this noose of a debt.

And my parents being such financial misfits, helped me get to where I am now.

You can't always be going up in life. You gotta come down sometimes. And learn that you need emergency funds to help cushion that fall.

And you gotta know when to pull the plug on a bad investment, be it the stock market or your home hobby.

TAKE ON LIFE'S CHALLENGES HEAD ON

Not everyone's situation can be easily solved.

But that's the challenge of life. That's YOUR challenge.

To sit down, dig deep into your psyche and soul, and list out ALL of the things you are unhappy with, be it your body, your career, your love life, your home, your rent, your bills... and listing them in priority of the most stressful to the least, make small actions towards improving your situation.

Even if nothing major comes of it, at least you're doing SOMETHING. You're being proactive rather than throwing up your hands and saying: WHADDYA GONNA DO? *SHRUG*

How many times have we watched debt repayment shows (okay, maybe just me... Slice.ca, look into it) and only after being told that they HAD to make an extra $900 a month to make their budget balance, did these people get off their asses and start searching out for creative ways to generate the money?

One guy was so into gambling that he got himself $30,000 in trouble. To make an extra $2000 a month or whatever it was, he channeled that love of poker into becoming the dealer at poker games, collecting a couple of hundred bucks each night.

I don't know if that's entirely legal, but my point is that creativity bursts out at unexpected times when you are faced with a Do or Die situation.

And why is it that we need some stranger to come in, mentally slap us, to take action?

The financial adviser (Gail Vaz-Oxlade) never actually goes out and finds ways to help people make money. Instead, she tells them they have to do it. Period.

And they do.

They canvass family members for odd jobs, take on extra shifts, start a side business, start delivering papers.. and they find a way to squeeze water from the proverbial stone.

DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL ON YOUR OWN

Burying your head into the sand will not help. My Cheap Opportunist sibling didn't pay taxes for 8 years.

Can you believe that?

He didn't pay taxes for 8 years and ignored his student debts until they ALL went to collections (All $76,000 worth of debt) and buried his head into the sand like a frightened ostrich.

We had NO IDEA what the situation was, and when we found out, we were both angry, disappointed and most of all sad that he didn't think he could ask us for help.

I know not everyone has the personality to be a tiger. I know.

TRUST ME.

I'm related to the King of all Ostriches.

But when you feel overwhelmed, ASK FOR HELP from a tiger you know. They're more than likely happy to sit down with you and pen out a rough plan, and maybe do even more, like coach you.

All it takes, is a simple, polite request. It's really that easy.

So don't give up and resort to the lazy way out -- begging, mooching, lying, stealing... you have to really look into yourself and ask if that's the person you want to be, and if you can be happy being who you are.

And this is the reason why I can't bleed a heart for her.

Call me a bitch, and you're right, I can see where you're coming from, as we all have our own biases and different points of view.

But I grew up with a different mindset than yours. I've noticed that people who grew up rich (and well educated, not spoiled.. etc), tend to be the nicest people in the world, because they never had to want for anything, and have had a really wonderful outlook on life from birth.

They're so wonderfully sweet, and sympathetic to every person, and they truly, vehemently try their best to make things right because they feel like everyone should have had their outlook on the world.

I have so many friends like that.. that it's hard not to get caught up into their rosy outlook on the world.

That's nice, but not for me.

I'm not saying that's wrong or bad, but since I didn't grow up rich, I don't blame my parents (except for lying to me) for what happened in life.

They're who they are and I cannot change them, only love them, and mitigate the risk.

What I am happy about, is hearing my parents' stories of how they struggled through WWII and all I can think is: Thank goodness I didn't grow up during a war. How awful it must have been!

I prefer to think of it as a difficult lesson to learn about life, and to be tough on myself NOW (as I have seen firsthand what can happen when you don't take charge of your life) so that the world doesn't come crashing down around me in a rosy blur.

I still have a long ways to go, and I revel in the challenge of cutting down a budget or REALLY asking if I want that new necklace I've been eying lately.

But I'm saving my heart for people who really need it -- the ones who grew up in the ghetto and can't catch a break, the people with no marketable skills whatsoever, stuck in a never ending cycle of poverty and despair, and those who have physical or mental disabilities to limit their earning potential.

So? Is your heart still intact?

FB's Odd Middle-Class Existence
FB's Brother #1: Cheap Opportunist
FB's Brother #2: Mr. Jones
FB's Sister #1: ....Nothing yet. She's just focusing on trying to steal my yellow purse :P
Sometimes bad parents... are good
Gossip Girl & Gratitude
Parents & Finances: What have you received?

I carry cash but I don't use it

2009-07-14T13:07:00.000-04:00

I usually have about $130 - $200 worth of cash on me at any given time.

But the problem is that when I carry cash.. I never use it.

I always use my credit card for points LOL..

In fact, I always end up depositing all the cash back into my bank account to put back into savings, to use it to clear the card each month.

I do find having cash handy at times though. Once I had to pay for some bill in full, and they asked for $200 in cash. I had the exact amount so it was easy.. but phew!

Imagine if I didn't?

How about you? Strictly cash? Mostly Credit (with clearing it later)? Or a bit of both?

Top Chick Flicks of all time

2009-07-14T05:00:00.000-04:00

I thought about putting some action flicks in here with a romantic kind of twist like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but I thought the better of it and stuck to the 'classics' of what I like to watch over and over again.

Did it in chronological order.

The Sound of Music (1965)

Something about this singing nun gets me. That, and falling in love with the master of the house, being the governess is such a tried and true formula to love, don't you think?

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

It has Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, who meet 12 years ago, and occasionally bump into each other through different parts of their life and end up with each other in the end. The whole film is centered around whether or not men and women could be friends, and introduced a lot of concepts like the high-maintenance girlfriend, or transitional friend (a.k.a. fuck buddy or rebound boyfriend in today's terms).

For me, the best scene has to be where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in the restaurant. It was amazing.

Pretty Woman (1990)

Ah. The whore who became a lady. It's like My Fair Lady! Anyway, love this movie because my favourite part has to be when she goes shopping for clothes, they snub her on Rodeo Drive and she comes back all dressed up and rubs it into the shop attendants' faces.

Note: I've just noticed that 1998 was a BLOCKBUSTER year for romantic comedies.

Ever After (1998)

A true Cinderella story. 'nuff said.

You've Got Mail (1998)

Meg Ryan is like the queen of romantic comedies. This is my favourite one that she's done (the other one is Sleepless in Seattle). It's just grabs at your heart without even knowing it. Especially the ending.

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

Very romantic and chick flick worthy. The tortured artist falls for the upper class noblewoman. So sweet!

The Wedding Singer (1998)

Adam Sandler makes me laugh! And Drew is incredibly cute in this movie planning her wedding, then realizing that he's the one.

Amelie (2001)

This is an odd choice for a chick flick, I know, but I really think the movie has a kind of complex romance. Amelie is just one of those movies that makes you feel so good about the world and about the goodness in people. Audrey Tatou is a FANTASTIC actress in this. Even better, watch it in French with English subtitles.

Love Actually (2003)

This movie went through all the different lives, thoughts and emotions of all the characters. It was just so sweet, uplifting, heartbreaking but sad in some parts. Humour of course, plays a role throughout the movie, but the real theme of it is that Love is all around. It's a good Christmas movie actually, because it's set around that time and it brings out a lot of the same emotions.

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

I love, love, LOVED Jane Austen's book. It was just such a rollercoaster of emotions for me with all the relationships of each of the Bennett sisters. And my favourite relationship of course, was with Darcy and Elizabeth.

I almost want to watch it again right now.

Sex and the City (2008)

Clearly one of my favourite movies now because it really shows that girlfriends are really there for you when you need them. The worst and best part of the movie was Charlotte getting mad at Big, and Carrie smashing those flowers all over his head in the middle of NY. And all the girls were helping hold Carrie to get her into the limousine and took her on her trip to make her feel better and to heal the wounds. So sweet.

2 HONOURABLE MENTIONS: QUENTIN TARANTINO
BUT MAYBE NOT EVERYONE'S CUPPA

These may seem like unusual choices, but I see them as empowering chick flicks and not your usual "boy meets girl, boy and girl cannot be together, girl finds boy in the end"...

With a lot of gore and realism. Quentin really knows how to bring out raw emotion in a film and these are quite graphic, but so very well done.

Grindhouse: Death Proof (2007)

It's a story about 4 girls in the beginning who were brutally murdered (quite graphic) and the second set of girls who wreak revenge on the guy who kills girls with his car for kicks.

Sounds weird, but it's a well done movie and one of my favourites because the dialogue is amazing.

Kill Bill 1 & 2 (2003)

I just love her yellow jumpsuit. I think this movie is what started my love affair with the colour yellow.

I think we all know the plot, girl (Uma Thurman) is brutally assaulted at the altar where she was about to marry a man while pregnant, and they leave her for dead, but she ends up in a coma, and comes alive near the end to seek revenge on the ones who set out to kill her and her baby girl inside.

AWESOME movie. My favourite scenes are too numerous to count, but I liked the whole storyline with Lucy Liu in it, and when Uma fights Copperhead in the kitchen.

(S

sad face

2009-07-13T16:00:00.002-04:00

Every blog I read gets some pretty funny Google Search queries.

I unfortunately, am not one of those blogs.

Check out what brings people to my blog:

MY BORING QUERIES

46% of you are searching fabulously broke in the city
21% search for fabulously broke

Actual Clicked Through Queries

zenni optical review
Wow I had no idea it got so popular. I've used the site personally and they really do rock.

http://fabulouslybroke.com/
Success!

broke in the city
Success!

fabously broke in the city
Spelling fail.

fabulouslybroke.com
Success!

shoe wardrobe
Quite popular, this shoe thing...

stacy london oprah
Stacy brings me mad hits.

stacey london jeans
See? She shows up again for a second time. Stace, if you're reading this.. let's do lunch.

botox nightmares
Ooer. Hope they aren't personal.

fabulouslybroke
Success!

www.fabulouslybroke.com
Holy cow people, this totally rocks. My name brand is all over the blogosphere..

average family size
I think it's 1.5 kids. Don't ask me how it works with half a kid (baby?).

Then here are the weirdest ones I found:

wet nipples
I think you want a porn site for that, you pre-teen boy.

stacy london's legs
Stacy! I'm alarmed for your safety. We really must do lunch.

girl dildo
I hope she's wearing the strap on version and not the other one I have in my head.

i live with my parents
My sympathies. I did too. Then I got a job and got the hell out.

everybody loves fillan
Did they mean "filling"? Because I love me some pie FILLING.

i still live with my parents
Dude, I know, you've already said that! Maybe you should start budgeting to get outta there.

city and guilt
What kind of guilt are we talking about here? *suspicious* Spending guilt?

I think my favourite is wet nipples. That is just.. so random.

Why your manager is a monkey

2009-07-13T05:00:00.004-04:00

Via Technology Review called: "Why Incompetence Spreads through Big Organizations"

Summation of the Article

According to a recent simulation, the old tried and true practice of promoting the most competent person in each organization (otherwise known as Peter's Principle) is actually a bad idea because the simulation showed that it reduced efficiency in organizations and promoted incompetency.

Instead, what companies should be doing, is either to promote the most competent person and the least competent person or to promote people randomly.

I think a couple of points have to be addressed first before analyzing the situation

People are promoted based on other factors than competency

The simulation assumes that it is always the most competent person that gets promoted, when in fact it's a mix of charisma, politics or just being the only person available.

I'm sure all of you are aware that it's never as cut and dry as "you are the best person we've got at this level, and we think it's time for a promotion".

Competent people are assumed to be promoted using good ol' common sense

I think you know where I'm going with this.

Let's just say, common sense ain't so common no more and leave it at that.

Now onto the analysis

I find the ideas in this article particularly intriguing because as a former corporate cog, I was always irritated at how incompetent my managers and bosses seemed to be at their jobs for certain things.

I mean, I once had a manager who FORGOT to submit my employee review and almost got me fired by default just because she forgot to get something so dreadfully important done.

She was disorganized and totally flaky.

She'd forget meetings with us and end up having to waste our time because she'd have to reschedule.

She was also a bit of a liar, all in the name of saving her ass.

I mean really! Does that sound like a Dilbert manager or what?

I just couldn't muster up any respect for her as a manager. I liked her very much as a person, but it wasn't what I'd have called a good manager by any means.

I'm not really a person to care about a manager's personality -- I just want them to do their jobs: Fight for me when you believe in me, don't lie or sugarcoat the truth, be organized, be on time, do what you promise, and don't be flaky. That's it.

But I could never figure out HOW and WHY she got promoted, and I later realized that it was because no one else wanted the job and/or she was the only one available. *shrug*

Maybe managers should be paid less, not more?

If managers were paid less than expected, or the same as consultants (sorry, I'm going to speak from an IT consultant's perspective), then maybe the incentive to lie to get the next promotion will not be as desirable.

Now, for you managers out there reading this, don't get your panties into a twist.

I'm not saying you don't deserve your job or deserve to be paid less, but let's admit it -- there are less than scrupulous people out there who would lie just to get a promotion to manager so they can get the extra cash to clear their debts, regardless of whether or not they'd enjoy the job more than what they're doing.

I know a lot of people who would sell their eye teeth to become a manager, just because of the $10,000 raise. So they schmooze, they lie, they glad hand and they work their way up to be a manager into a fairly cushy job in the sense that they don't have to do the actual job of a consultant any longer -- they're busy managers now who can't be expected to go on projects all the time.

Motivation should not be all about $$

My solution would be to try and make a managerial job less about the money and more about a change in skills rather than a promotion.

And then, within that skill set of being a manager, if they excel, then they TOTALLY deserve bonuses as they do better and better.

For me, I find that being a good, or effective manager (even a project manager) doesn't mean you have to be able to do everything.

I never expect a good PM to ever know how to do my job (why should he/she?) or to know every single intricate detail of every system known to the world.

That's just ridiculous.

I wouldn't want to effectively lose the best [insert job title here], just because they're too good at their jobs

If that above PM was a genius who knew how to do everything in every system in the world, she wouldn't be a manager! She'd stay where she is and make a freaking KILLING off being one of the most highly sought after systems analysts in the world, as an independent (incidentally, a goal of mine...)

But seriously, I wouldn't want to take a genius at his or her job out of that level, just to promote them because I think they're doing too good of a job. Hell, I want to keep them there so they can do even better!

Don't force people to accept a promotion just to get a raise

If you're good at your job, you get a pay raise. Period.

If you're not good at your job, be honest, admit it, and move to something else that fits better into your skill set but not necessarily just because it pays more.

I think it's silly to have to force brilliant people into accepting a promotion with a job that they may not like as much just so they can make more money.

I don't want them to look up the ladder and get confused as to why their manager is an idiot and they're making less than he is, making more money for the company with their work, but doing the work of a genius.

Someone who SUCKS at being an employee may be an awesome manager

For me, the crux of the issue is that each role in a company uses different skill sets.

We cannot always expect an accountant to be an awesome CFO (Chief Financial Officer), nor can we expect a programmer to be a great head of IT.

In some cases, yeah.. they rock.

And in something like maybe a sales manager's role, it would be helpful if they were a good sales person, because they would understand the day-to-day job and would be the most effective as a manager because they've experienced the job before.

Interestingly enough, TELUS (a Canadian telecommunications company) does something similar in their company -- they make everyone who becomes an employee, go through customer service support roles (awful, nasty, customer-yelling-at-you-making-you-cry kind of jobs), to understand what it means when something doesn't work right in the company and these tech support people get the sh*t stick.

We should just recognize that someone who is fabulous at their current job, may not have the best skills to be a manager, and someone who is awful at their current job may very well excel at a role of being a manager.

It's a question of skills, more than competency at any given level.

And there you have it. My vague, rough, 3 a.m. thoughts on how people should be promoted and rewarded.

I still think it would be an interesting experiment for a company to implement either one of the researchers' strategies above: to promote the best AND the worst (law of averaging out) or to pick people randomly for promotions, and to see in a real life situation if efficiency would fall, stay the same or rise.

So, is your manager a monkey?

(Just kidding. I see him looking over your shoulder. Act normal. ACT NORMAL!)

Rather annoyed.

2009-07-12T13:52:00.005-04:00

I'm not just talking about 2 personal finance blogs, and the 1 commentary on life (I won't name them) that I've just stopped reading completely after hoping for the past couple of months that they'd get back into the groove of ACTUALLY WRITING real content again.

*gasp*!

All the posts were something along the lines of:

Welcome, new readers from XYZ newspaper!

My new book is on Amazon! Buy it today!

My book from Amazon hit #274 on their list of best sellers!

I was featured on XZY today as one of the best blogs, EVER!

Umm. Actually, not so much any more.

You don't actually blog about anything any more so.. best blog? Technically? No.

You get the idea.

And it's really only by sheer laziness that they stayed on my blogroll for so long after their book/television/marketing/special world offer deal consumed their world and made them neglect their readers who got them there in the first place.

Anyone feel the same way out there? Or am I the only one feeling a bit offended by their cavalier attitude?

And to all my favourite blogs out there, I selfishly hope (in the very kindest, sweetest way) that you never, ever reach blog fame, so that you continue blogging wonderful content and to keep me entertained.

Love always, FB.

I'm starting to love cucumbers

2009-07-12T11:00:00.000-04:00

really, really REALLY used to hate these veggies.

Something about that odd sweet but aloe-something-foreign-and-not-in-a-good-way to me flavour of cucumbers was never appealing.

I hated eating them with a passion and would move them to the side of my plate when my mom served them fresh with this really heavy pork dish to add some fresh crunch to the plate.

Gross. Totally gross. Even the smell sickened me.

Until one day, I tried a bit of salt on them. It was like an explosion in my mouth!

I couldn't believe that all it took was a little fleur de sel and this stuff would actually taste good.

So I decided to go a bit further.... and I dipped them experimentally in my sushi soya sauce today.

In case you don't know, Sushi Soya Sauce is not JUST plain soya sauce.

I used to buy an expensive $4 - $5 bottle of this mix of soya sauce (see left), just to dip my sushi in (it makes a difference in the taste of the sushi, trust me)... until we decided to try and make our own version.

My mom's sushi soya sauce is a mix of castor (powdered) sugar and soya sauce until the right blend of sweetness and saltiness is achieved.

BF and I prefer a mix of HONEY and soya sauce to taste.

And after dipping the cucumber slices into that sauce....?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can we say, the Holy Grail of cucumber dipping sauces for me!?

The sweetness of the honey and the saltiness of the soya sauce, when dipping a cucumber stick in there, doesn't really absorb into the cucumber, but coats it lightly instead.

Now I want to cut up a whole cucumber, pour a little of that sauce out (we pre-mix it in a bowl and pour it into the old container we bought the sushi soya sauce in) and have it as a light snack.

Pop into your mouth, and .. damn. It's an explosion in your mouth and on your tastebuds.

Either that.. or I just really, really love soya sauce. LOL

Soya sauce ice cream? Anyone?

Review: As the Romans did

2009-07-12T05:00:00.009-04:00

I have always been .. shall we say obsessed or enamoured with Roman and Greek history.

I admired Alexander the Great of Macedonia, I eagerly followed Caesar's exploits and his eventual downfall, and who could not love the practical Emperor Hadrian even though he was a bit of a stick in the mud?

Their society is fascinating and full of so many interesting customs and rituals, that I am sure if any one of them were resurrected to try and live in our society, they'd have a hell of a time adapting.

As a result, I have taken lots of Roman and Greek history courses, read a lot of books, source books and was crazed with finding out MORE!!

Out of all of that, what I consider to be one of the best source books on Roman life is the following book:

As The Romans Did: A Sourcebook in Roman Social History by Jo-Ann Shelton

The book is filled with quotes, interesting conversations and tidbits that give you such an insight into Roman life and how they thought as a culture.

Some of my favourite quotes were on beauty and health.

A Roman sartorialist of the time lamented about his girlfriend, asking her WHY she was so vain to try and dye her hair a bright red when it was a beautiful, natural blonde to begin with?

Now, the dye had burned off most of her hair (umm.. yea, it doesn't sound safe), and she has to wear wigs made from captured blonde German prisoners to cover up her balding scalp.

Funny stuff.

And it rings true, even in today's modern society.

I sometimes felt modern hair dye burning my scalp, and that was one of the reasons why I stopped dying my hair; I just kept thinking of this poor, vain, naturally gorgeous blonde Roman who burned off all her hair by trying to dye it red!

Anyway, out of all of the books I have ever read on Roman and Greek history (except for the legendary "The Rise & Fall of the Roman Empire" of course), this was the most interesting one, and the only one I've kept all of these years, and keep re-reading just for fun.

They also (as you know), were into patriarchy, where Roman women had no rights whatsoever and always had to be under the thumb of a man.

It's why Roman women who broke the mold were so interesting (to me), and also called shrews by their culture, as it was unthinkable to have a husband who felt his wife was his equal.

Great stuff. Makes you think about your own life and how lucky you are to be a woman in today's society.

Centaur to the rescue!

2009-07-11T20:34:00.004-04:00

SPONSORED POST

I gotta say, the idea of an equestrian cupid is kind of interesting.

I just have the idea of a well built Centaur cocking a bow at two lonely singles...

By the way, if you have no clue what an equestrian is, it is a person who rides horses, which is NOT to be confused with a pedestrian (a person who walks) although I am sure the word has the same Latin origins.

(Did you know that equine means "pertaining to horses" from the Latin equinus and ped .... well ped(ine)?... must have something to do with people walking.)

This dating site, Equestrian Cupid is different from other dating sites because .. well, you don't have to pay!!

And that, is something my wallet enjoys hearing.

You can get a FREE sign-up, without having to pay for any dating site fees, and you get to connect with people who share the same love of horses as you do.

But really, this site doesn't have to only be about finding love, you can even make friends to go horseback riding with, discover uncharted trails, get the feel of a country lifestyle riding in the best areas and meeting a friend or a special someone who shares your interests.

Imagine!

You could have the same happy ending as the fictional equestrian lovers Tarquin and Suze from the Shopaholic Series, complete with the happy riding into the sunset on their beloved horses, touring the country estate.

Who could ask for anyhting more?

5 ways to negotiate almost anything in life except death and taxes

2009-07-11T05:00:00.012-04:00

Be willing to walk away

GOLDEN RULE:

Don't have the colour you want? The size? The style? The model? The right price?

Walk away.

Easier said than done (trust me), but very effective.

I saw a great necklace when I was in NYC. Blue, chunky, really weird and interesting at the same time. It was $27 USD, but it also came with earrings.

I went to the counter and asked if I could buy the necklace separately (if they were an independent store and REALLY wanted to sell something, especially in this recession they should have said: YES! No problem.)

Instead, the storeowners said "No. It comes with the earrings FOR FREE!. You can wear them!"

These people were just like my dad when he worked. Always out to get you to spend more money than you want to, and to angle things differently so that you think of the purchase differently (Wow now that you mention it, the earrings ARE FREE! Right. *snort*)

FB: I don't wear earrings. I don't have pierced ears, I need clip ons.

Owner: *undeterred* But you can give them away to a friend!

FB: How nice. But what I'm really asking for, is a reduction in the price. A discount if I just buy the necklace.

Owner: No. No discount *glare*. The earrings are free.

FB: Actually, they're not. If they were free, they'd be an option to purchase and not included in the package. I'm paying for those earrings in that $27 USD price tag.

Owner: So are you taking them?

FB: No. Not if you're not going to knock money off the price for buying just the necklace.

Owner: No! They are free earrings!

FB: Fine. *walks away*

Owner: Wait! Where are you going?

FB: You don't want to sell anything. I'll keep my money, and you keep your necklace and earrings.

Sure, that's a kind of lame example, but that's how I act in all situations.

I'm not trying to be rude, or unfair and cheat them out of a livelihood, but I wanted them to give me a discount, keep the (very nice) earrings and let me just buy the necklace.

If they really wanted to sell you something they'd find the way.

Besides, they could've even just given me $3 off, stacked them on the shelf, priced them at $6, having sold the necklace for the bulk of the price, which more than covers the cost of the necklace + earring set.

To me, that was just bad business to not even be open for discussion.

It was easier with a necklace by the way, than with a car or a home where you have more emotionally invested in it.

But what I always say to myself and remember is that there are thousands of necklaces in the world. I am bound to find something else I'll like, from a seller who is willing to sell to me.

You can always negotiate something and if not, it never hurts to ask

A 10% discount in stores, there's a slight scratch on the shoes, you get $5 off, or a free polishing. If you aren't happy with your drink, you can get a free coupon for a free drink the next time you go out.

Or maybe, 25% off your next purchase because you weren't thrilled with the service this time around.

Just ask. It never hurts to ask.

Don't be the first to offer a price

This works especially well in job interviews.

Don't offer them what you are currently making or asking for because it may end up not only being too LOW (and then they have big Cheshire grins on their faces and accept immediately), but it may also end up being too HIGH and pricing you right out of the pool of candidates (true story).

Sentences to stall them:
"Let's talk about the job some more, and my qualifications and fit before we talk about the money."
"Well tell me what are you offering and I'll let you know if it's what I expected." (this can end up being a round robin thing, where you 2 beat around the bush)

Be patient, and refuse to give a number. They want you, they'll tell you what they think the job is worth.

And if they are already asking about salary, they may have already have you as the shoo-in perfect fit for the job so you have a bit of an edge.

FORCE THEM to give YOU what they think your job is worth.

If it isn't close (by $20,000 is what I consider close) to what you were expecting, decide the pros and cons (quickly) about whether or not it's worth it to take the offer (are you unemployed and desperate?) and then decide how much more to ask for.

You may end up surprising yourself because it may be exactly what they had expected you to say, and if you didn't ask for more money or a free perk (or even a discount), and they'll be surprised they're getting such a deal --- You.

With respect to your career, it's true, you could negotiate for a higher salary later, but you're missing out on a year's worth of extra income.

Which brings me to my next point.....

Try negotiating up to 10%

So if you want to ask for more money and be careful not to pigeonhole yourself and only ask for money.

Sentences you may want to use to weasel more out of them:
"Based on my research, I was expecting $$$$$ instead for my skill set, is that the best you can do?"
"The salary is fine, if we could talk about changing the benefits. How about that salary, and an extra week of vacation?"
"That is a bit on the low side from what I researched. Make it $$$[insert decent increase here that is reasonable and not $100k]$$$ and I'll accept"
"Is that the best you can do?"

But let's not just focus on job, this 10% rule is especially true in buying homes and actually.. anything in retail except very low margin items.

For real estate, most homeowners are willing to negotiate down 10% just to sell the home. Any more, and they really feel insulted and ripped off.

$300,000 home? Offer $270,000 and work from there.

This however, will not work in a hot market where it's a seller's market, or in very in-demand areas like NYC, SF, Vancouver, London England...

Paying in cash speaks louder than credit

Not just for your financial health, but if you pay in cash, people give you a discount because they don't have to use the machine to swipe your card, wait, take the time to punch in everything and then get charged for the privilege of using that machine!

The hassle is avoided with cash.

Not only that, returns are easily made when you paid in cash - you just get the cash back instead of having to monitor your credit card for the correct amount refunded, in a timely manner, and so on.

Conclusion

Those are my top 5 favourite tips. There are plenty more, but these ones are tried and true.

With a little practice, it'll become easier and easier to ask for things. It's hard at first, but worth it once you get over this ingrained shame of asking for a deal because you don't want to come off as being poor.

Now, I should mention that there is a difference between being poor and being miserly.

Don't rip a shirt sleeve with the intention of repairing it later (or rip off a button) just to get a discount. That is cheating to me. But if the button was already coming off, then ask for a little discount in return for your having to repair the button at home.

Display items are usually good for discounts. Anything below 10% for items below $100 is not really worth it. You can get big savings if it's $1000 or more, but really -- consider that display items are constantly abused (like laptops on display being banged on by little kids and adults alike), so use your judgment wisely here as to what you are buying.

Don't try and ask for a discount on $1 if you don't really care, nor should you at any point, make the person feel bad for not giving you a discount -- maybe they really can't afford it, no matter how prosperous they seem to you.

Stay calm. Stay polite. Don't cheat anyone. And be willing to walk away (Golden Rule #1).

Any other favourite negotiating tips?

Men & Strippers

2009-07-10T05:00:00.001-04:00

Totally my opinion all over this post but I am not surprised that guys have (or do) go to strip clubs, but I definitely don't approve of them if they have wives or girlfriends...

Sure, they may go when they are single, fine, whatever (I still find it a bit disgusting)... but once they get a girlfriend or a wife, I am of the opinion that they should stop the behaviour because it's not real.

Not real in the sense that those women up there are dancing naked for money which is totally cool for them, since they're fleecing you suckers!

But you've got a woman, ready to be naked for you at home! And she's not doing it for the money (well, not directly anyway, there are some women who are financial parasites)....

Anyway, imagine this: you get home alone, turned on, and look at your wife or girlfriend who may not be what you lust after (we're talking unrealistic bodies here, with pumped up breasts, and women who dance all day for money so are in fantastic shape), and you feel disappointed.

That's sad. Very, very sad to think about actually.

To feel DISAPPOINTED when you look at your woman when you get home.

Men may not feel disappointed to what I'm imagining, but they'll sure feel something negative, since going to a strip club must have SOME negative effect - including unrealistic expectations of what a woman's body should look like (trim, flat stomachs, inflated boobs, super tight muscles... please. Who has time and money for that if it isn't your job?)

Worse, is if you have children and you frequent strip clubs.

It's just me. But I don't like the idea of guys looking at porn alone, going to strip clubs with the guys... I'm sure it may seem natural to a lot of women and a few of you are like: FB, shut up! It's totally liberating! I even go with my man sometimes!

But I just can't be that kind of girl.

I even find it a disgusting to the point where if he were to go out with the guys and then go to a strip club, I wouldn't want to know about it (ignorance is bliss), and/or I wouldn't want to have sex with him for at least 2 weeks.

My body would just reject him.

Man, I sound like a freak now! But it's totally psychological and what I feel that I'd go through mentally.

What do you think? Strip clubs OK when you're with a girlfriend/married/with or without kids? Or not?

Maybe it's time to watch hummingbirds instead of our neighbours...

2009-07-09T21:10:00.005-04:00

SPONSORED POST

Being people without TV to watch or any other sort of big screen entertainment, we either watch our neighbours (I saw one flash himself on the balcony, and like a car wreck, I couldn't pull my eyes away to stop gawking in horror), or all the birds landing on our windowsill.

BF says there are a lot of birds around the area it's because it's near the water, so a lot of birds like to nest in the area because of the insects that fly around.

So far, we've seen a heron, a whole bunch of local birds (don't know their names), sparrows and of course, crows.

What we haven't seen, are HUMMINGBIRDS!

And this is totally the time as hummingbirds migrate across North America heading from East to West. And like many Floridian pensioners, hummingbirds migrate because of the weather.

Hell, I'd like to be a hummingbird in that case.

The guys of course, go first (mostly the ruby throats).. followed by the girls. I have a feeling the females are sending the men into battle to test the waters so to speak, before committing themselves :P

Hummingbirds are very small and easily missed, but if I had the best hummingbird feeders hanging outside my window.. maybe one or two would drop by once in a while to say hello?

Ben Stanford's Dub FX music is the BOMB

2009-07-09T21:10:00.000-04:00

I usually don't get very excited over music. Seriously.

Beyonce, Black Eyed Peas.. yeah, their music is fun and interesting (especially the BEP), but I'm always on the look out for something new and interesting and I'm usually bored with many artists, liking only one or two of their songs.

This guy, BRINGS IT. His name is Ben Stanford and the music is Dub FX where he makes the beat and records the layers of sounds and then sings over it.

And he changes and modifies the background beats as it is playing.

It is INCREDIBLE.

(Note : If you don't like rap or techno beats.. you will not like this music. I happen to like drums, bass and rap so this is a perfect blend of music for me)

Here is one of his song's "Love Someone"... I want to buy his CD now. It's $20 USD including shipping, found here.

Dub FX 'Love Someone' from Ben Dowden on Vimeo.

Dub FX 'Step on my Trip' (video remix) from Ben Dowden on Vimeo.

(Sorry. Last post. I promise. Today has just been a freaking fantastic posting day)

Reader Help: I can't get a student loan!

2009-07-09T16:50:00.003-04:00

Hi drawnfromlife. I couldn't get a hold of you.. and since you read my blog, I'll just talk to you via this post.

This is what you wrote:

Here is the situation: I'm in college and I still have to use my parents on my financial aid forms.

Well, I was surprised to see that they had been approved for a Parent Plus Loan (a loan parents can take out just for the childs education). They had never been approved before so I asked the financial aid office to make sure it was right.

All was well, so they had me submit the pre-application and once again it was approved. I came to find out that the school keeps your loan listed as approved, whether or not it's really been approved...and once all the credit checks are done they switch it to denied!

I was really relying on this aid to cover the difference this year and now I found out that they were never approved in the first place! The financial crisis has made it almost impossible for me to get a private student loan, even with a co-signer. My credit is about average, and all lenders want spectacular!

Now I'm about $400 short for tuition and I have no money for books or supplies. I only make about $350-400 a month, and my bills are about $215-230. At this point, I have hit a couple of snags financially and I have no savings.

Any idea on what I should try to do to find some money? I don't want to charge tuition and books, that's just asking for trouble. Thank you, FB!

Don't thank me! Thank the readers who are going to comment and give you advice.

I have no experience with this whatsoever, because I just got public student aid from the government and my college had a policy that no one would be turned away based on financial hardship.

All I can gather from here, is that you need to get yourself another job pronto to make the cash, since $400 is not such a huge amount.

But if that is truly impossible... then I am up the creek right now.

Can someone from the States please help out? This is something I am not familiar with. Thanks in advance.