monkey bonnet

Reading: Third Chimpanzee

2007-09-25T22:53:00.000+01:00

Actually, I've nearly finished it.

It's pretty good - again, as with a lot of books I read these days, it suffers from not being written by the same person who wrote the previous one, which is totally unfair, especially when they are completely different. But it is interesting, and thought provoking, although it covers a lot of farily familiar ground. I've read most of it in more detail in two of Jared Diamond's other books, Collapse and Guns, Germs and Steel, and the rest of it is a coverage of evolution both by natural and sexual selection, which I have seen in Matt Ridley and The Dawk-meister books too.

So the main thing that stands out is the bleak nihilism and almost total conviction that we're going to kill ourselves: he's studied a lot of human societies, found the explanations mechanisms behind their rise and ultimate fall, and applied that to our current behaviour. And we're going the same way as most of them, and faster and harder. Yay! We're all going back to the stone age.

New Art

2007-09-21T12:27:00.000+01:00

I should also mention that while I was eating my lunch on Trafalgar Square and musing on the drastic reduction in pigeon numbers (good work, Ken) I was fortunate to see some guy working on an incredibly detailed biro sketch of the square and its environs, apparently from the perspective of the top of St Martins in the Fields (which isn't really accessible right now due to scaffolding). He must have been working on it for days, because his rate of progress was infintesimal, and he'd filled 2/3 of a sheet of A3 sketch paper. I'd love to see the finished article, but I doubt I will.

Also, I saw a rather lost looking tern, trying to figure out what the pigeons were doing and where all his mates had got to. Good luck, tern dude.

National Gallery and Trafalgar Square

2007-09-21T11:46:00.000+01:00

Trafalgar Square - distractions in a tourist spot

To continue my holiday in London, I travelled on Wednesday to the National Gallery. I was somewhat surprised on emerging from Charing Cross tube station (a) to be on Trafalgar Square itself, and not in Charing Cross station (I'm not very good at subterranean navigation and I never really know where I'm going to pop up) and (b) for Trafalgar Square to be covered in a photographic maze in the name of "Lomography".

However, there was nothing to explain it that made any sense. I guess if it was all translated from Austrian then that might go some way to explain why. Anyway, the result was a mildly diverting patchwork maze of photographs of all sorts of things that was aesthetically pleasing if utterly devoid of relevance. I didn't spend very long there.

Then at the top end of the square was something that might have been connected (I still didn't know what Lomography was) but probably wasn't - a Tom Dixon light bulb amnesty where people were handing out free energy saving lightbulbs along with the means to post an old lightbulb back to Tom, whoever he is. Since all the lightbulbs in the flat are energy saving anyway, I walked past. The display was complemented by a very low hanging outdoor chandelier of giant energy saving bulbs which looked unusual but was fairly pointless, as it was lunchtime and relatively sunny.

National Gallery I - in which the gallery leaves a visitor awestruck

So I went into the National Gallery, having negotiated these diversions successfully. As the desks were rather crowded, I decided to wander in aimlessly and see what I could see. I think I ended up in the 1500s-1600s section, and jolly good it was. It's often an overwhelming experience, unless you are very focussed on what you're looking for/at, and this was no different. So many pretty pictures, with helpful notes that link the contents of each room. There isn't really (or I couldn't find) a route that links all of the rooms of the display in any thematic or "history of art" sense. I guess I need to do that research outside of the gallery and then go and find the illustrative paintings. Although they might be in different rooms and require a lot of criss-crossing. After an hour or so, I felt suitably awed by the use of light and space of the renaissance lads, so I went for a wander to find some lunch in nearby Covent Garden.

National Gallery II - in which the gallery fails to explain things properly

After lunch, I picked up a map so that I could make sure I didn't go back into any of the rooms I had already visited. (Another feature of my random walk was that I had visited a lot of rooms in a weird order.) I decided to go through the 1700s-1900s rooms and see how art had progressed. To be honest, a lot of it was crap. For some reason, faces didn't seem to be attached to the heads they were painted on. Several paintings were unfinished - Gainsborough seems to have had an aversion to painting hands (I can't blame him, but he was supposed to have been one of the Great British Painters). Also, the "helpful" notes displayed beside each painting were often ridiculous. There was one painting (don't remember the artist, date, nationality or anything) which showed a fight in a tavern, where a soldier in armour was being assualted from behind by a dude with a knife in the act of drawing his sword. There were several other characters in the painting. One was falling away in shock, but two were engrossed in a game of cards (and probably drunk) and another soldier was ignoring the whole thing. Now, I don't claim to be an art expert, but it seems that this is quite likely to be an allegory, and the characters represent states. I'm fucked if I know which ones, and I can't work them out because I don't know any of the circumstances. But I would be amazed if the story wasn't that there was or would soon be a peasant uprising in one country (France?) that caught the army off guard, and the two other countries (England and Netherlands, as a guess) had better stop arsing about playing cards (stock markets) and watch out for peasants behind them. But the note beside the painting said something like "for some reason, the other figures seem not to notice". I can see that. Explain it to me!

Epilogue - in which the hero departs somewhat deflated

And there were others like that, so I grew slightly disillusioned with the whole experience. I was going to stick around, but there were a series of room closures due to "industrial action" (what industry? All the employees do is make sure people don't steal the paintings and direct them back to the street through the ridiculous maze) including some of the rooms I hadn't visited in the 1700s-1900s, so I left. By which time the lights on the Tom Dixon energy-saving candelabra were on. It still didn't make much sense.

First Emperor

2007-09-19T23:09:00.000+01:00

The exhibition at the British Museum which started a week ago. I figured, they've gone to the trouble (quite a lot of trouble) to ship these fellas over, I'm not at work, I might as well go.

Oh my god, you guys, you have to go.

_{Image from the British Museum website. Where you can get tickets from.}

Seriously. This shit will blow your mind. You've got about six months to see it, the exhibition closes in April, but don't delay. You may want to go more than once. I do.

OK, so what is the deal?

I guess you've heard of the Terracotta Army, buried to protect the First Emperor of China's final resting place. Which consists of 7,000 mass-produced (but individual) warriors, chariots, horses etc. It took thirty years to create and lay undiscovered until some farmer was digging a well in 1974. It's over 2,000 years old.

I don't think any of it has ever been out of China before. Even if you do go to Xi'an and see the site with the warriors in place, you have to stand well back from the pits, and can't get anywhere near the actual troops. In London, you can get to within touching distance of them. (Although actually touching them would probably land you in serious trouble).

I had heard there were 4 warriors on display (don't know where from). There are, I think, twenty characters in total. The first one you see is in a little glass case. He's a kneeling archer. You can see the plaits in his hair and the detailing on his armour. (Which was made of lacquered squares of leather stitched together with cord, and modelled in terracotta). Then you wander around some other exhibits showing coins, swords, arrowheads, roof tiles, model palaces and other sundry contextual items, before going through a small door and seeing a small formation of troops.

It's almost breathtaking - I mean, everyone has seen photos of them, and you know they're there, but to actually see them, lined up and ready for battle - it's astonishing. (And then there's the headspinning moment when you realise that these things were made before the birth of christ and the whole western european civilisation thing).

As well as that, there are dozens of new discoveries - a pit full of acrobats was found in 1999. There are clerks to administer this nether empire, also made of terracotta. There was an artificial river system built, with bronze birds and terracotta musicians. There were rooms full of stone armour, that no one really knows what it's for. Protection from spirits? It's a theory. And no one has ever opened the tomb itself. Based on a relatively contemporary account (still 2,000 years old) the current theory is that the lad had himself built a replica of his empire, with the seas and rivers represented by streams of mercury and the stars above picked out in pearls. Scientists claim to have found a lot of mercury in the burial site, so it's possible.

This is an absolutely unmissable opportunity for anyone who has ever been interested in history. There is no excuse not to go. If you fail to go to it, you just fail.

Announcement at Waterloo

2007-09-19T22:50:00.000+01:00

"Customers please note the train approaching platform 15 will not stop at this station"

Not entirely convincing, since the track does stop at this station.

What, Wednesday?

2007-09-19T22:16:00.000+01:00

Yeah, so my cold really kicked in at the weekend, and I was pretty much laid out Saturday and Sunday. I utterly failed to do anything except stare vacantly at the rugby on TV and shiver until about Sunday evening. Fortch I have this week off as holiday and had nothing planned for Monday, so that became my new weekend - it makes a kind of sense.

Reading Quicksilver made me think sitting in a coffee house in London watching the People of Quality pass by would be glamourous and exciting. But it doesn't apply on a Monday lunchtime in Battersea. Unsurprisingly. Most of the people passing by were unemployed. Never mind, I had my bowl of mocha and my newspaper, so I was happy.

TFIF

2007-09-14T19:37:00.000+01:00

Yay! Friday! Only yesterday was pub quiz night, which dragged on a little longer than advertised and also my cough has yet to clear up so I'm feeling somewhat drained. Last thing I wanted this morning was for the Waterloo and City to be shut again, but it was, so I had a walk which didn't do much to help my hangover. And then (skipping over being at work entirely - nothing worth mentioning happened) it was shut again when I wanted to go home, so I walked from Bank to Mansion House, District Line to Embankment, across the bridge to Waterloo and then a train to Clapham whereupon I encountered

Irritating couple
On a normal day, they wouldn't have been too bad, I suppose. I would have had my headphones on and not been annoyed by their prattle, voices, tickling, whining about computer delivery people who don't turn up on time, broadband speeds &c. But I was also feeling tired and trying to read my book. So no marks for you, please go away.

However, bovs on your tees*, ladies of London. Today was an excellent day for boobs. I saw many sets of really great boobs, and that helped me get through to this evening in a much better mood than I would otherwise have been. (It seems churlish to mention that as soon as I noticed this trend, it abruptly dried up - but the memories will last at least until I fall asleep.)

*whatevs - RIP? - actually, not dead! Who knew? The feed I'm subscribed to doesn't update, but Grambo lives, so I've got some catching up of phc to do.

The Rugby
So I'm at home to watch it. It's not started yet. We're going to get dicked on. (Worse than the cricket team, about which, the less said the better. "Humiliate" Australia by setting a target of 136? No, I don't think so.)

Rob has advised Ryan to have a go on SA to beat an 11.5 point handicap, which they ought to do with ease. I hate watching rugby with rugby boys in London, they are mostly utter arses, so although it might have been nice to see them as England are humiliated (KP should be made to watch to learn the definition of the word), I am going to be watching from the safety of my sofa, where there will be a supply of Kronenbourg and curry (once I have cooked it).

Speaking of which...

Reading Diary

2007-09-12T22:32:00.001+01:00

Inspired by a book I haven't read yet, although my boss has offered to lend it me (by Nick Hornby) I'm planning to keep a record of what I'm reading on a not quite daily basis. Hornby apparently does this and says it's very good. His book collates one months entries into a chapter, I think. Like I say, I haven't read it. I may do that, or I may not.

Anyway, at the moment, I am ceaselessly reading The Confusion by Neal Stephenson. Words fail to sum up how good this book is. The characters are great - without giving too much away, Half-Cocked Jack Shaftoe, L'Emmerdeur; La Comtesse de la Zeur; El Desemprado (spellings not guaranteed) are all genius creations. The word play and wit are similar to Terry Pratchett only better, the plots (and the Plan) roam across a ficticious but reality-adjacent late 17th century Europe and North Africa, and are laden with twists and subterfuge. Subjects such as financial marketeering, slavery and naval combat all appear and are decribed with elegant and efficient prose. There are baddies, goodies and in-betweenies. Some of the phrases used are poetic - "Ireland was a mentality, not a place" and "In memoriam, Earl of Upnor, finest swordsman in England, beaten to death with a stick by an Irishman". And so on. Almost every page has a new delight, and I really should get back to reading it instead of waffling on about it on here.

Gyming while ill

2007-09-12T22:26:00.001+01:00

Not that ill, obviously. Maybe I will sweat the fever out. I don't know, I'm not ill very often.

Did 14 minutes at 10.5 kph and then 1 minute at 15... not very fast overall. Then did 10, 12, 15 reps (I read that somewhere) on the chest press at 55kgs, my shoulders and back are killing me. I think I did some sit-ups next, but I got distracted when a girl came to do her stretches next to me (she was the one I saw out of the corner of my eye doing some weight lifting while bent backwards over a stability ball. I damn near fell off the treadmill). Then some skipping, not much, some chin-ups and dips and six minutes on a bike to cool down. Result: death, shooting pains in the back of the shoulders and death.

Rainbow girl was there again, this time wearing black. Perhaps she is in mourning for Ian Porterfield, who scored the winning goal for Sunderland against Leeds in the 77(?) cup final at Wembley. Or maybe not.

England 3 - 0 Russia

2007-09-12T22:15:00.000+01:00

So I'm having another Bombadier to celebrate the resurgent England victory against Russia that puts us into a... well, less weak position than before the weekend. Which is nothing to scoff at. Michael Owen has three goals in two games, scoring 2 again tonight, Gareth Barry looks like the central midfield general that Frank Lampard is not and even Emile Heskey looks world class. My only regret is that my 2-1 scoreline didn't come to pass. Not like I had money on it anyway.

The tiredness I put down to a coffee at lunchtime yesterday is the start of a cold or something, probably not helped by sleeping in a room with drying sheets in it last night. A washing line would be good. Or an efficient tumble drier. Something.

Felt like I acheived a great deal at work today too, although this is probably just because I delegated a couple of things which makes me feel all managerial. I may have to sort them out when I get back off of holiday in a week or so, but for now I can probably forget about them. Or at least try. For some reason I've not been sleeping very well (possibly the cold) and I tend to get work dreams when I almost wake up.

Dude, that was, like, 5 hours ago

2007-09-11T22:26:00.002+01:00

Seriously, I have finished thinking about my day at work by 10pm. Do not bother to ask me about it.

If there is anything to report, I will announce it. Don't be afraid you're missing out.

Yeah, I had a coffee at lunchtime and now I'm wiped out. Maybe I should have had a beer, spent the afternoon asleep and be awake now? Nah, I can't see that flying well with the man.

I am drinking a fine Bombadier*, by the way. It's pint-tastic. And still listening to Beastie Boys.

*Not to be pronounced like the beetle, more like the artilleryman.

Gym news

2007-09-10T23:15:00.001+01:00

Briefly, I joined up 6 or 7 months ago to combat the potatoity of not having anywhere to skate and to get in some form of shape for snowboarding, and I am now clearly addicted. Helps that it's free and in the same building where I work. I'm going to try to keep a record of what I do and how well I do it to see if there's any progress (I may have plateaud somewhat, though). I am now gaining weight, which is either down to: more effective strength training, less effective cardio, or more effective beer and pie consumption. Hmm.
Today I tipped the scales at just over 79kgs (jumped off when I saw it going up) so that will be the baseline. Or something.
Anyway, I forgot that I'd be writing anything down about it, so I've forgotten what I did exactly, but I know it was 20 minutes on the bike on level 12 (longer, lower resistance than normal), 2 sets of 10 chin-ups and tricep dips at -0 and then 10 of each at -20kg, 5 minutes of very slow rowing, a lot of heavy breathing, then about five minutes fairly slow skipping. Overall result: christ, I'm sweating to remember it. No: good.
How I'm going to measure progress when I do such a mixed bag of stuff I'm not sure. Perhaps my time for running 2 miles on the treadmill, which I do from time to time. Or chin-up count.
Anyway, on a side note, Rainbox Girl was there again, as always. And it was hella crowded, possibly because everyone heard the old instructor has left to write more articles about working out in high heels and be rude to other people. She was always too chunky to be taken seriously as a gym instructor. Hey! Feel the burn!

Er, so you may want to skip most of these posts, unless you would like to find out how my silent relationship with Rainbow Girl develops. (We did actually speak in the lift once. Oh, and I think I said hello when I saw her outside the offices. It's not exactly DH Lawrence.)

Unusual ingredients

2007-09-10T23:13:00.000+01:00

So I was on my way home from the gym, trying to buy my fix of salty pig fries, but Tesco's didn't have them on sale today. No, bad Tesco! In your bed!

Instead, I bought some Nobby's Nuts Sweet Chilli Flavoured Peanuts. I like them - often call them beer nuts, because the Saharas version goes so very very well with a nice pint of ale. But I find it tricky to eat them while carrying my book and bag and so forth, so I hadn't finished them by the time I got home. I was starting to prepare my stir-fry for the evening - you know, chopping onion, garlic, celery, frying some soy sauce and ginger, all that. Shaving slivers of chicken off a frozen leg, like all the top chefs. Then I looked at the chilli nuts and said: in you go. Satay style. I had some left over peanut butter in the cupboard, so a couple of teaspoons of that went in too.

And jolly delicious it all was (with noodles and rice, if you have to know). Consider Nobby's Satay an addition to the menu chez Phil.

Excuses

2007-09-10T23:08:00.000+01:00

So it hasn't really gone great so far, this relaunch. But that's because I was out on Wednesday at the Beastie's gig. Then on Thursday I had to go out for a guy at work's leaving do. The responsibilities of management weigh heavily sometimes on my soul. Especially when I have to endure ice cold London Pride in the Worst Pub On The Thames. Not to mention several idiotic conversations, the content of which I have largely removed from my memory. "I only ever had one console. An Atari ST" No no. And more of the same, sadly.

Being a frail old man now, I was determined to have a quiet night on Friday. This meant only 5 pints (of Young's delicious and potent St. George's to begin with, then progressively colder Prides) but it still didn't get home before 11. Well not much. Then all day Saturday I was watching sport, despite it being a glorious day outside (and that I wasn't watching the cricket, unless reading the scorecard counts. I do like the BBC interactive presentation of cricket. It is, however, just about the only thing that works on our shitty NTL box). Splendid victories for all of our boys over demanding oppostion (3-0 vs. Israel who looked like they had no idea what football was, 28-10 vs. US who can't play much rugby and a 7 wicket win vs. India who have the world's least consistent one day team.) And I only did the same thing yesterday.

Bah. What a wasted weekend.

Beastie Boys Brixton

2007-09-10T21:55:00.000+01:00

There are many words that begin with a B, but they don't do justice to the Beastie Boys live, so I'm stopping the alliteration there.

Brixton was full of middle class white dudes dressed in jeans and t shirts, again. Never mind, at least I didn't feel out of place. Went for a pint in a Wetherspoons - very nice. Anyway... the beer was better there than in the academy. Who'd have thought? As a late sub, I wasn't exactly up on all the jokes that had been on the email all week, mostly involving Beastie lyrics (another thing I hadn't had time to brush up on. I don't think they were giving marks.) So we got bored of that, plus we could hear the warm-up act and thought it was time to head in.
We drifted to the front of the stage and ended up about 5 rows back, dead centre, next to some damn fool kids skinning up and freestyling. If their joint was as bad as their rhymes, it probably fell apart before they could smoke it.

50 cups of coffee and you know it's on...

The Beasties opened it up with Super Disco Breaking and everything went mental. It not easy to capture the feeling of jumping up and down and bellowing rap lines to the people who wrote them about twenty feet away, but suffice it to say: it is a good feeling. There was more jumping, quite a lot more moshing than I expected and then everyone stopped as they started playing some instrumental stuff.
To be honest, I wasn't really sure what to expect - I generally tune out when the instrumental tracks come on, and I haven't heard their new album, but they showed they still have some hardcore chops, played some old old school stuff, but kept it lively by going back to what everyone wanted - all the hits so we could jump up and down again. Seemed to me that they were mashing it up by playing some different beats under the raps, but I've heard so many Beastie mash-ups that I could be well wrong. And who cares, really?

I have no idea how many tracks they actually got through in their 90 minute set, but I certainly don't remember them missing anything I wanted to hear. And for the encore, something (could have been anything) and Sabotage.

And so, happy, crackling with adrenaline and drenched with sweat, we went off into the south London night. I don't think I actually slept at all.

Spitfire Ale

2007-09-04T22:58:00.001+01:00

Named after the famous plane, stationed throughout the second world war in the fine county of Kent. The beer is somewhat unfulfilling, though. It's a bit sharp, and not very full-bodied for my tastes. I only have it because I was in Kent for a barbeque on Saturday and they didn't have enough Badger Beer in the shop, so I thought: why not? I will think twice next time.

I'm drinking it now because yesterday I didn't drink anything (for the first time in at least three weeks) and I woke up at 5:30am after a disturbing dream in which I was skating on a very small skateboard when I found my brother wandering around looking a bit lost. I was concerned, because he should have been at work. I asked him what he was doing, and he answered, a bit shakily, that he'd hurt his hand. I asked him to have a look and he'd lost all of his fucking fingers down to the first joint. I was like "Oh, Mike, Mike..." and he started crying and saying he didn't know what to do, and I wanted to go and find them and get him to a hospital so they could fix him. Cos, you know, he likes to use his fingers. I think the most disturbing thing was how lost and quiet he seemed, because it was just so unlike him.

Anyway, I'm pretty damn keen for that not to happen again (I'm reasonably confident the dream has no basis in fact - I think I would have heard) so here I am drinking again. I don't know whether I should take this as an indicator of my over-reliance on alcohol, or just as a sign that I have an unusually tender soul and a great deal of love for my brother.

Also, speaking of excessive alcohol consumption: Ryan's Steady Drip - a blog about gambling, now with a guest spot by Robin, who should be good, as he's already a published journalist.

Fabriclive 30 - Stanton Warriors

2007-09-04T22:49:00.000+01:00

Just finished listening to the Stanton Warrior's Fabric Live offering, and I've got to say it was disappointing. It just doesn't kick at all. Plus I didn't get any sense of flow from one track to the next, which is odd, because if it was there, I would have thought I'd have noticed after two weeks (possibly more) of listening to nothing but random play. It just doesn't feel like a live dance album. Maybe it will grow on me. I'm just excited because I get to see the Beastie Boys tomorrow.

On the same subject, I did listen to an album that was put together properly yesterday (came in the same amazon order from months ago that had been waiting for a book to turn up, which still hasn't turned up) and that was the new Scratch Perverts CD, Watch the Ride. Now that, I did like. I'd put it on again now, only it's late and you have to turn it up.

Caution: Amazon links.

Shock - Shirehorses actually copied

2007-09-04T22:19:00.000+01:00

OK, the Shirehorses based their careers (loosest definiton of the etc.) on the premise that all of the popular music of the 90s was copied from their superior original compositions. Or something. I think they may be onto something, though. Not Doofergrass's "Feel Like Shite" or Dave Lee Travisty's* "Why Is It Always Dairylea?" although both of these are undisputed classics.

While I was listening to Ed Harcourt's Storm Is Coming (from his well-worth-checking-out album Strangers) I noticed a distinct similarity between the opening guitar wail and the intro to If You Tolerate This Piss, Your Bitter Will Be Next by the Manic Street Sweepers.

See what you think:

Shirehorses | Harcourt

*I think the Shirehorses changed their names more often than their underpants. Probably a lot more often.

(Inconsistent use of italics not exactly deliberate, but it's not going to bother me)

Overheard at Waterloo

2007-09-04T22:11:00.000+01:00

Ticket Inspector: Sorry you can't go past here without a ticket.*
Bird, following her fella: But I'm not going anywhere!

Damn right you're not going anywhere. You're staying on the fucking concourse with everyone else who hasn't got a ticket. I don't pay my £105 a month so anyone can blag their way onto a train. Mind you, ticket inspectors at the moment aren't the most welcome people at the station. With the tubes not running thanks to ~~lazy bums~~ RMT members striking (for job guarantees - what kind of logic is that?), more congestion at the exits of the station aren't really what's required.

*Or words to that effect. It's hard to eavesdrop when you're listening to your walkman.

New layout, new blog

2007-09-03T22:57:00.000+01:00

Inspired by Ryan (linky later) I've decided to come back to blogging again. We'll see how long it lasts, but since I really want to do some more writing, (and inspired partially by Samuel Pepys's appearance in Neal Stephenson's marvellous novel Quicksilver some diary stuff too) I hope to be posting rubbish here most days.

I did spend most of this evening reading The Undercover Economist and cooking a rather disappointing curry though, so I don't have a lot of time to write now. How lame is that?

Busy in the kitchen (part II)

2006-02-07T08:53:00.000Z

Chicken in ginger and orange juice.

My dinner on Sunday night. I didn't have much stuff in, so I made this up.

First fry some curry powder and chilli powder in oil over a low heat, for a minute to release the flavour. Then throw in some ginger and finely chopped garlic and fry for a little while longer. Take off the heat, add a splash of water and mix until you get something resembling a paste. Then add the orange juice, a dash of soy sauce and a tiny bit of mustard and stir over a low heat until it's fairly evenly mixed. You should have a fairly thin sauce. Score the chicken breast, and marinade for an hour or so, turning occasionally. Roast/bake it at 200C or so until it's cooked. Serve with rice and peas. Or chips, if you like.

Busy in the kitchen (part I)

2006-02-06T14:25:00.000Z

Made a small wax thing to wax kerbs with on Saturday, using a pan of water, an irn bru bottle and a couple of candles.

I cut the bottle in two below the neck and jammed the top down inside the bottom, which I also filled with water. I sat the whole thing in the pan on the cooker and set it to simmering. Then I put the broken up candles in the inverted neck of the bottle, and waited. I read the paper, did some of the crossword, drank some coffee, listened to the football.

And the candles melted all down to runny, so I took the pan off the cooker and filled it up with cold water. The wax cooled and I cut away the bottle. I now have a slightly better lump of wax for kerbs.

I tried it out yesterday, and it works better than taking candles out with you. Now it seems that I should have photo-documented the process, but maybe I will next time.

Monopoly route map

2006-02-02T14:09:00.000Z

Don't know what this will look like, but it's taken me long enough to create it. I might add photos to the map if I can figure out how. There's a route guide available soon.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

2006-01-04T14:46:00.000Z

Go buy it here, or don't.

It's genius, that's all you need to know. I don't know how Wes Anderson does it. My brain would fry if I had to try to make all those characters up, let alone fit them all together in a film. He gives each of them enough hooks (wearing shorts, calling people "Intern", always being topless and curt) to sketch them out, but they feel really rounded because they're always actually interacting with each other.

And the environment they're put into is so otherworldly - much more obviously than in Royal Tenenbaums, since it's on the sea - it concentrates the characters and their relationships more. It's hard to express how this works, but if they were the same group of people going to work in an office, you'd have to look harder to see past obvious comparisons you might make to people you see every day.

The music is perfect. I've heard that Wes Anderson knows exactly what music he wants to have in the background of every scene before he starts shooting. I don't know if that's true here, since he's got a lot of funky noodling keyboard music going on here, apparently original to the movie. Maybe he played it himself. And the other music is provided by the undisputed star of the film, Seu Jorge, who plays David Bowie covers in Portuguese on the acoustic guitar.

So - if you like films, you should like this. If you don't like this - sorry, you actually don't like films.

Media Overload

2006-01-04T14:40:00.000Z

I realise I've been a bit quiet here for a while. I hate only being able to get on teh internets at work, because I never have enough time to write anything here. Well, that's just one of the reasons.

Anyway, over Christmas, I acquired lots of new stuff that I can watch and listen to, so I'll be writing about them here. This is due in large part to the generosity of my family, but also because I went shopping one afternoon last week after a couple of beers and instead of buying new headphones, I bought DVDs and CDs.

Apart from that, in case you're wondering, I did very little over the last couple of weeks, because I had to come to work. Bah.