Questions, Comments & Insults

Sigh...

2009-12-07T10:32:00.000-06:00

QCI Update with Special Correspondent, Harrison Young

2009-12-03T16:03:00.010-06:00

Alright QCI-ders... today is really kinda slow... news wise... 3 campaigns sent me updates... but everyone else is covering that... so... I figured I'd see if my nephew Harrison would help out with today's update... Good news! He agreed! Basically... He's gonna do his H Man thing... Now... my nephew lives down in the KC area... so... he really doesn't follow the Iowa stuff... well... unless its updates from Grandma/pa, Auntie April and Uncle G... he justs hangs out being awesome... So... here's a quick update from the H Man to brighten your day... Take it away H Man!

Hey everyone, I'm Harrison. Uncle G$ asked me to do a quick update for you... but I don't know much about this political stuff... but I know about other stuff...

I mean I'm a Republican and all... but I can't vote... can't really make calls for candidates... and I'm just starting to walk... so going door to door is out for me... so I just do what I do best... Being awesome... Just like Uncle G$... Wait a minute...

OH NOES! I've been doing this update and I've had drool all over my shirt the entire time!?!?! OH NOES!! How embarrassing!

Oh... I know. It's OK... other than being really good at being awesome... I'm really really good at drooling.

Trust me! I'm an expert at this stuff!

OK... I can hear my sister Ainsley down the hall... so I gotta get going... but before I roll... I thought you might like some tunes! Here's one of Uncle G$'s favorites! Stay thirsty and keep on drooling friends! Crank it!

Elections, Awesome and Echo... Eh Eh Co...

2009-12-02T14:00:00.007-06:00

Turning out to be junkie week QCI-ders... here's a few more things... because I know you're jonesing for some more randomnous.

CITY RUN OFFS - QCI high fives to Halley Greiss and crew. Hu hu hu hu huge upset. After chatting with a few peeps... there's definitely some anti incumbent feel to some of the results statewide. Peeps here at QCI HQ are smellin some momentum. Lots of work to... stay tuned.
CONGRESS ANNOUNCEMENT TIME - Alright... so out in the 2nd... 3M is out of the gate... but since they ain't doing blogger outreach... we have a question that peeps might be able to helps us outs... Did we saw via FB that Barbara Grassley was out with her yesterday... Is this an endorsement? Wouldn't know... but sure looked like it. Also... Brad Zaun is announcing... at his old hardware store... Thursday... 10am... See? You sends me's these stuffs... we's posts its.
MORE PEEPS IN? More and more peeps are jumping in these races. Makes it more easy to chirp about...
THERE'S OTHER BOOKS ABOUT BEING AWESOME? Wha?? Seems that my crack PR staff is starting to find some competition in the "awesome" book genre... but is it epic? Ummm... don't think so. But we disagree with the title of the book above that was found by my agent. Basically... being awesome... is a lifestyle... much like the mullet. I mean... I guess you could practice being awesome... but... that's like practicing livin'. But... all will come out in my book, I'm Sorry... I'm Sorry That I'm Awesome. Of which we made some progress in the project. Can't tell you now... (but, man I wish I could)... but that's why I pay my peeps the big bucks. I have never written a book before... and these peeps are smart about that. Also, they can spell and make complete sentences... how cool are they?? Yeah... awesome.

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY

"So and so... I'm updating my status to state that I ate lunch at Tasty Taco solely so I can "Like" my own status. Because, it. is. that. good."

Yes. Yes! YES! YES!!!

AND FINALLY... because... we just straight chillin' here at HQ... so... crank the smoothness of Gorilla Zoe... Stay thirsty friends....

Drama, Hoodie and More Drama

2009-12-01T09:06:00.008-06:00

Kind of a hodge podge of stuff going on today, QCI-ders... kind of a wierd day... wierd being... good wierd... but... we're just wierd on our own... If you are a political junkie... love drama... and football... today is your day ERR week... Hit it...

FONG OUT - The first buzz of the day is... Christian Fong has suspended his campaign... thus, he is no longer running. This guy actually had staff and campaign swag... some sort of volunteer base... Unlike others in the race. That being said, who will be next one to drop out?
HOODIE? STILL THERE? Holy smokes QCI-ders... you see MNF last night. *jaw drops* Whoah... Does this loss mean the beginning of the end of the best Boston sports decade ever? And do the Aints ERR Saints gotta shot at going undefeated? Indy for that matter? Call me Bob Griese because I'm not sold yet... NOLA has a complete month to deal with this... and Indy has no easy road... the red hot Titans and Jax are on the sched... But NOLA does seem to have the easier path... but when you are saving players and watching injuries for a month... are they the same team that whooped up on the hoodie last night? Anyhoop... here's a small portion of Saints humor from SCH...

MORE FONG - Now... there is a little chatter out there about his future ambitions. I'd say its way to early to start chirping... but... then again this is politics. Also... there's chirping about different tickets... nah... way, way too early to start that bit... plus, in all due respect to Fong, he's really new... not sure adding him to the ticket gets you to 35%... I mean if he did... he'd still be in... Will he someday have that street cred? I'm certain this isn't the last time we hear from this guy... stay tuned.
SWIFT BOAT WHAT? Yeah... the peeps over at the Iowa Progress Project gotta be feeling giddy today... The IDP says their new ad is was put out by the same folks who swift boated John Kerry. And now have an online thinger... to stand up with the Big Lug. That's it?
3RD DISTRICT UPGRADED - CQ has upgraded the race... We said it yesterday... but we'll say it again... the 3rd is gonna decide the primary up and down the ticket... Stay glued to this one...

CHARLIE AND BOBBY - Wait a minute... isn't that the name of an episode of Dallas? Anyways... sounds like Stoops is the front runner at Notre Dame... and Bowden ends the long run in Tallahassee. Question is... and it will be happening soon... when does the discussion begin with JoePa? 2? 3 years?

JAMISON IN - One of our favorite County Electeds and loyal QCI-der, Dave Jamison, is running for State Treasurer... officially. Man... there's lots of peeps stepping up to run lately... who's next? Makes for a great cycle...

WANT TO KNOW HOW LOW HAWKEYE BASKETBALL IS? Um... Yeah... per a tweet from the UI Athletic Office... Students can get into tonights game... for free... just by showing your student ID... um... tonight's game is a part of the Big Ten/ACC Challenge... versus Virginia Tech... Wow... I mean double wow... I had student season tickets back in the day. Dr. Tom era... and they weren't free... wow... Is this as low as it gets? Holy smokes... how do the kids who actually bought their seats in the Hawks Nest feel? You know... all 3 of them?

CULVER HITS STATE HOUSE GOPs ON NO BUDGET PLAN? You can call Josie Albrecht... Josie Ocho Cinco... because her response today says... "Child please, Governor. C'mon son, check yo email! Your budget told taxpayer dollars to kiss the baby..." THEN....

LUG CM QUITS - As if your day of drama don't stop... Culver's campaign manager resigns... whoah... what's gonna happen next?

ANYTHING ELSE? Buckle up QCI-ders... I have a pretty good feeling that things will begin to heat up a little more...

Don't forget to vote in city run offs today...

Stay thirsty friends....

3rd CD, New Pope ER Coach and Epic...

2009-11-30T12:50:00.007-06:00

Whew QCI-ders... What a holiday! Man I loves myself some Thanksgiving... get to see family... great friends... epic. Just freaking epic. But... we're back to your usual randomnous. So... let's get to that...

3RD DISTRICT HEATS UP - Haven't talked much about this yet... but looks like we're getting some good candidates to take on GMLB. A good full slate of peeps from different backgrounds... We're calling it right now...the 3rd will be a bell weather. This primary will huge effects on the rest of the candidates on the ticket... I'm talking Governor too. Huge turn outs in this district may decide a few other races... stay tuned on this one.
OH NOES... WE STINK AGAIN - Oh the humanity QCI-ders... The lovable Kansas City Chiefs didn't take one on the chin... um... they were blind sided... (of which, you gotta see that flick)... You heard it here first... the Chiefs will sign a center this week. It's how they roll...
PICKING A NEW POPE ERRR NEW COACH AT NOTRE DAME - You're gonna wanna be watching the sky above South Bend... once they send him packing... the frenzy (per our pal Chris Faulkner) will turn into a huge media circus on who the new coach will be at Notre Dame... Remember... white smoke means we got a new Pope... ERRR Coach at ND.
SPEAKING OF CHARLIE - Word on the street is that 6 plus NFL teams have already called Weis to be their offensive coordinator... Including the Chiefs as rumor has it... Which totally makes sense if you know the family tree... The Parcells family tree that is... who is Scott Pioli married to again? 10 points if you know the answer.

QCI POST THANKSGIVING FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY:

"So and so... just so there are no surprises, my cranberry sauce is a red, gelatinous clump about yay-high, and shaped like a can."

That sounds pretty standard to me...

FACEBOOK AND OLD HOME WEEKEND - Man... got to see a bunch of peeps I hadn't seen in a longtime this weekend... And got to see a ton of loyal QCI-ders and Facebook stalkers... ERRR friends :) Thanks for reading... and it was great catching up with all of you. Now... if we can get you all on Twitter! That would be hella awesome! *smirk* Nah, but for real... it was an awesome time... and seeing a lot of you this weekend totally was the reason why it was such an epic week... #goodjoboutofyou
EPIC BOOK UPDATE - Alright... got the OK from my agent and PR peeps to talk a little more about my upcoming book, I'm Sorry... I'm Sorry That I Am Awesome. Writing this book has been fun so far... learning more about this than I thought... The subjects and stuff is turning to be completely random. Which... for some reason is really working... much to my agent's surprise. So we are happy with the direction of the over all project... it just takes a long time to get everything in... I mean... I wanna get it right... and hopefully... we'll get there... then you all can buy like a couple hundred copies a piece. How awesome would that be? Pretty freaking awesome. So to answer the question that is really on the minds of QCI-ders... Yes. This book thing is for real. And will be ready for your review in the Summer 2010.
TIGER TIGER WOODS Y'ALL - For real... call me Ricky Ricardo... because it sounds like Tiger has some essplainin to do. Yikes...
PARTY CRASHERS - Alright... huge thumbs up to all of my former DC peeps who Tex Mexed me when you heard about this... yeah... we were known to crash a party or two ourselves back in the day... Kind of funny actually... and sad at the same time... someone pass me some purple stuff! And... mix up some of that yellow stuff too while we're at it...

AND FINALLY... Let's get this week off to an awesome start... crank this up! Stay thirsty friends...

Turkey Lurkey Live, part deux...

2009-11-26T17:26:00.005-06:00

Yups... We've stuffed our faces... napped... now its all clear to put up Christmas stuff over at 525 Edwards Street... So what do I do? Go hide in my Pop's den! Alright... Time to do an obligatory "what am I thankful for" post... some are given answers... some very random... come on peeps, I'm trying to get out of decorating! Let's see how fast it takes me to get to at least 100 things amongst the millions of things I am thankful for... In no particular order...

1. My family
2. My friends
3. Decent health... key word on the decent
4. A-Team reruns at 8pm on week nights
5. Growing up in a small town
6. Still not forgetting that I'm from a small town
7. The people who take the time to waste their time reading this
8. Being awesome
9. Metallica
10. Working for a GREAT team
11. Getting to work with great co-workers
12. Mentors... you know who you are
13. Learning something new everyday
14. Diet Mountain Dew...
15. Having cool Grandmas... and awesome Grandpas
16. Having a million cousins... and all of them awesome
17. Having a sense of humor... or at least being amused easily...
18. Rooting for the Heart Attack Hawkeyes
19. Speaking of heart attacks... thankful I didn't get one after eating an Emmenecker...
20. Physically having a ginormous head... but mentally being able to keep myself grounded
21. Epic garage sessions
22. Being raised on KIOA...
23. Gas station coffee
24. Pretty much any pork product in general
25. Remembering good times
26. Creating good times
27. Having cool and hilarious aunts and uncles
28. Being a Republican
29. Being Catholic
30. Being able to see a little good in everyone
31. Liking just about everyone I meet
32. Drag racing
33. Having some cold beverages with my favorite people
34. The Kansas City Chiefs
35. Andy freaking Studebaker
36. Getting to meet some of my heroes at least once
37. For being able to draw
38. For general creativeness
39. Seeing old friends for the first time in a long time... and picking up like we just saw each other yesterday
40. For "always posting"
41. Knowing way too much random knowledge
42. Knowing there's always more to learn!
43. Haters... yes, I'm thankful for haters... they will empower you
44. Dreamers
45. Great tunes and the people who create them
46. The game of football
47. 2nd Chances
48. 3rd Chances
49. 4th Chances
50. Never ever, ever, ever giving up
51. Knowing what its like to be an under dog
52. Good conversations with complete strangers
53. Brightening someone elses day
54. Never really growing up...
55. Being able to grow an awesome mullet
56. Frosty malts
57. This great country we live in
58. Keeping expectations low
59. The two party system (2 parties every night!)
60. Surprises
61. Best friends
62. The small things
63. Laughing
64. Crying
65. Wearing your heart on your sleeve
66. People who run for office
67. The people who help people who run for office
68. Freedom
69. Veterans and anyone who wears the uniform
70. Junior high humor
71. That somethings never change
72. That somethings do change
73. Being able to rock a karaoke machine on an instant
74. For talented people
75. For being inspired by others
76. For random acts of awesomeness
77. Trying new things
78. Being able to throw left and right handed
79. God's Country, Iowa and everyone who lives there
80. Being Midwest in general
81. Helping others achieve their goals
82. Good days
83. Bad days... make you remember why good days are good
84. That everyone always has a chance
85. That notion of "That's why you play the game."
86. Being in situations where no one give you a chance in hell
87. Hotdogs... with ketchup and mustard
88. Iowa sweet corn on the cob... with salt and butter
89. Being able to laugh at yourself
90. Having great teachers
91. Cheeseburgers
92. Differences and being different
93. Agreeing to disagree
94. Books about random subjects I enjoy
95. Great bosses
96. Farmers
97. Worthy opponents
98. A hat that fits...
99. Understanding
100. And not totally understanding a thing at all...

Wow... that didn't take that long at all... could go on for a while... I know... very random type of list... but that's how I roll... more Turkey Lurkey posts in a while... I think I just got roped into hanging lights... Yikes! Until then... stay thirsty friends...

Turkey Lurkey Live on QCI

2009-11-26T14:59:00.003-06:00

LIVE! From God's Country... another year of live blogging over the holiday... so you can still get your fill of horrible takes and crappy updates... maybe escape the realitives for a bit... we think of it as a public service. Anyways... here's your first of many holiday briefings of randomness...

WEDNESDAY NIGHT UPTOWN - Yups... sure enough we hit the uptown scene... per traditon. Ever since there are 3 bars in Jewell... it just seemed spread out. But good to see the peeps getting an early start on spreading some holiday cheer... Highlights? The Band at Axis Lane, solid as always... the 'Bu blasting your metal favorites... and lots of late night singin' out at Jewell Golf and Country... good times and #goodjoboutofyou.

TO BE THE MAN, YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE IT: So this is minor... but I noticed Thanksgiving messages from both TEB and BVP... and nothing pushed out by the others. Like I said this is minor... but this is what governors do. So #goodjoboutofyou BVP and TEB... and #badjoboutofyou to the rest... Even if you did do one... gotta send it out so peeps see it... just saying.

ANOTHER THING WE NOTICED - Yes... politics is a serious thing... The issues are important... The stakes are high... we agree. Absolutely. BUT... some of you candidates are being WAY too serious with your social media... your speeches... too stiff... too angry... too not personable... this IS supposed to be fun peeps... if you appear not to be having fun? Peeps aren't gonna vote for you. Loosen up the tie a little boys and girls... We have a complete post coming up on this soon. This is a problem...

MY MOM HAS THE SIDE DISHES THAT WOULD MAKE MILLIONS ON THE BLACK MARKET - Holy freaking smokes QCI-ders... I know this is completely biased... but man... My Ma can make the stuff that'll make your eyes spin. Wow...

Alright... more to come... stay... (yawning) thirsty... (yawning more) friends... off to a food coma.

DHMIL: The Emmenecker

2009-11-25T14:34:00.004-06:00

Way way long time since we did one of these… but I thought I would share an epic journey in food… Thanksgiving came early for all of us here at QCI HQ…

You know… because we are very impressionable and are influenced easy… a loyal QCI-der inspired us to do this… (Thanks Humpy Bumpy!) Totally scored an Emmenecker at Jethro’s… what’s and Emmenecker? Here’s the deets from Jethro’s menu:

The Adam Emmenecker
The Missouri Valley Conference most valuable Player of 2008 loves this sandwich. It's big.. "really big".. just like all those really big shots Adam in the Bulldog's magical MVC Championship Season of 2008. Start with our huge tenderloin, add our Angus steak burger, top it with a slab of Texas brisket and apple wood bacon, finish it with buffalo chicken tender, smother this mountain with melted cheddar cheese, and white cheddar sauce, serve it with your favorite choice of side. This could hurt you! A sandwich fit for the MVP.

Now… all of us here at the HQ give Jethro’s a way thumbs up for everything… but for some dumb reason… we were all GAME! FREAKING! ON! I mean… look at the description… this is about as an epic sandwich you can get…

Did we finish it? Awe hell no… that wasn’t the goal. Just another day of being awesome… of which will be a chapter in the book entitled… “Why did you do that? Uh… Because It’s Awesome”.

Anyways… I Tex Mexed the pic to some of my peeps… reactions were the following:

“WOWWWWWW!” I know! “Epic.” Yes, epic. “You’re insane, get some help.” Insanely awesome! “Yes please!” Yes. “That’s revolting.” “That just made me sick.” Haters…“Holler.” “Good God G$, don’t eat it.” "Dude your heart is going to explode." Too late! “When I grow up, I wanna be awesome. Teach me master” Watch and learn grasshopper. “I miss your face.” What the… and finally “You have medical insurance, right?”

So yeah… here’s a pic of the Emmenecker…. Enjoy. Now off to Jewell before the snow hits!

CC: Upon Further Review Wednesday...

2009-11-24T16:15:00.006-06:00

It's baaaaack... header and all... Alright... a little Governor themed CC today... Plus... it's Wedenesday... Which means it's... Upon Further Review Wednesday...

Always random and always awesome tho...

NO POSSESION OF THE BALL - Going for a quick booth review check on this play from Team BVP. So I get it that Team BVP is hitting TEB on the Ben Nelson thing. It's a good hit... where it fails is how it was played. We should blame TEB for Obama-care? Upon further review the reciever did not have possesion of the ball, the pass is incomplete. Unfortunately, won't be able to replay the down on this one. TEB is the reason for Obama-care? You had a perfect play. A great hit... and its incomplete.

JUDGE OFF THE ACTIVE ROSTER? I really thought this was crazy... and far fetched... but rumors are intenisifying. So for another booth review... from our off field official... Upon further review... this thing is happening. We're hearing all sorts of stuff on this. And... wouldn't be too far off for an anouncement soon... on either or... you know... if the Governor ever plans to have a press conference. But we won't hold our breath... better chance of catching me in West Des Moines... yeah... I said it.

QCI PROGRAMMING NOTE - Yups... we'll be open for Turkey Day... as we for the 2nd year in a row will be live blogging Thanksgiving. Think of it as our small little efffort to help you get away from your realitives... awkward conversations... and of course the horrible takes from the world's crappiest blog... plus... it will almost like you are spending the holiday in God's Country, Iowa.... how epic is that? I know!

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY

"So and so... Can't decide if its good or bad karma to serve papers to an ob/gyn between deliveries..."

Um... so you got that going for you... yikes.

WHO WILL BE THE NEW COACH AT NOTRE DAME? Charlie's on his way out... so who's it gonna be? I smell a QCI Pool... hmmmmm...

AND FINALLY... Since we are headed up to God's Country, Iowa... thought we'd crank a little something you can always hear in the background once you make it to the Hamilton County line... crank it... and talk to you tomorrow for some Live Turkey Horrible Updates.

#EPICFAIL The Gift That Keeps on Giving...

2009-11-23T13:40:00.002-06:00

OK… so the JJ Dinner was Saturday. Didn’t catch it… usually I’ll actually watch it if it was on C-SPAN… yeah… nerd alert…

I saw a few tweets from it and saw C-Raigs recap and live blog on it… At first… I’m thinking… “OK… nothing really Earth shattering here. Just the usual JJ with the Veep.” Then… an article really got me thinking… Peep this from O. Kay Henderson.

Then I’m like… you gotta be kidding me, right? Judge not on their ticket? You think SHE is the one keeping the Lug down? This is a joke right? Man, this Culver guy really can’t catch a break. I mean it’s the JJ Dinner… the night you get basically a free night of politics… coverage… press… and this is the hang over from it?

I’m not gonna go all Krusty on Team Culver and call them idiots… but I’ll throw an #EPICFAIL on it. This was your free night of press Team Culver and now you are having to answer if Judge is still on the ticket… when she clearly is, I mean it’s on your site.

Not sure if Judge is your problem. Other than her official duties and being your attack dog… politically speaking, I’d say you’re good to go.

It’s stuff like this that just makes you shake your head. Makes you wonder how he even got in… Dayam. But... Team Culver is still the gift that keeps on giving... giving away Terrace Hill that is...

So yeah… Earth to GOP candidates, campaigns and staffs… Learn from this and Team Culver’s other mistakes and miscues. Because if you don’t… no way you/we have a chance.

I Still Believe in Them...

2009-11-23T08:53:00.004-06:00

Say it together QCI-ders... How 'bout them Kansas City Chiefs!!!! Holy smokes... man... this is a great week already... I mean... short week... loading up on some good food... a trip to God's Country... and to start the madness? A WIN for te Kansas City Chiefs.

Now... I've probably lost most of you already on this post... but I could care less... this is a big victory... "G$, you're crazy... its just the friggin Chiefs... laddie freaking dah..." Nah... this let's do our very own QCI Chiefs Wrap... Notes, news and a little whooping it up. Here we go...

- The Chiefs are now 2-0 since they released Larry Johnson. Hmmm... also, the Bengals are 0-1 since signing him...
- First OT win in six years
- Coach Haley keeping his promise that he COULD find 22 guys to line up and win more than 2 games in the NFL
- Andy friggin Studebaker
- Cassell is starting to look great... and Haley says he'd go to battle with him any day. Good confidence boost for him.
- The system is starting to happen... and the players are buying in
- Andy friggin Studebaker
- Succop is clutch... Don't ever call him "irrelevant" anymore
- Remember this win... this will be known as the game that started the push to greatness.
- Why you play the game... no one in the World gave these guys a shot...
- Andy friggin Studebaker
- Guts, guts and guts... these guys have a heart.
- The future is bright... are we headed to the playoffs this year? No way. But look out... a strong finish... a good off season... its gonna get better.
- Oh and... Andy friggin Studebaker

And finally... Chiefs fans can start to take the paper bags off of their heads. It's funny... made a grocery store run after the game... proudly wearing my Chiefs gear... and I'm not even joking... I had at least 10 people shout at me in the aisles... "Hey! How 'bout them Chiefs!" "These guys aren't so bad." "Chieeeefs!" It was awesome... and its gonna get more awesome... Chiefs fans can hold their heads up a little higher... The Chiefs Kingdom is rising... we're gonna start beating more teams we aren't supposed to... and yes... they will be contenders... Chieeeeeeeeeeeeefs!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you bleed red on Sundays, hum the tomahawk chop in your sleep and yes... you still believe in the magic of the loudest stadium in the NFL... crank this up! Hey look! It's Eddie Money! Chieeeeeeeefs!!!!!

The QCI Slow Jam: GOP Primary & Party Unity Explained... Smoothly

2009-11-19T19:33:00.013-06:00

Yeah… so stuff is kind of dead around the LBC… “OH COME ON G$! THERE ALL SORTS OF STUFF! CHET’S SHIRTLESS! WE HAVE RACES! PALIN’S TOURING!” Yeah… I hear ya… anyways… I mean… kinda slow out there… I mean… it’s no real big surprise… stuff is winding down … peeps are in Turkey mode… but since it is slow… and... hmmm… let’s try something… A slow jam… try to attempt… ATTEMPT… is the keyword… to slow jam a post about what’s going on… Kind of a… state of the race… and teach a little party unity to one another… “This won’t work G$!” but… “No way.” But wait a minute… this could get good… so I’m gonna need your help QCI-ders… yeeahh… Let’s do this… together… alright… let’s start the mood…

[lights dim…]

G$: So… let’s see if we can start this… *snap… snap… snap…*

[everybody snapping their fingers]

G$: *snap… snap… snap…* Alright now… yeah that’s alright… you guys are good at this… yeah… Now… let’s a get good bass groove going…

[smooth bass groove]

G$: Oh… that’s nice… #goodjoboutofyou… yeah… now let’s welcome my band… the Edwards Street Mullet All-Stars (ESMA)…

[ESMA begins a guitar groove… drum groove… ect. ect.]

G$: And their leader… and my backup man… Mista… Frost…Eze Funk Malt (FM). How you feelin’ Frosty?
FM: [singing] G Mon-ee you know man I’m chilleehilleehillilling…
G$: Dayam right… * snap.. snap… snap...* Alight now… got the mood set… band is groovin’… now QCI-ders… we’s ready to slow jam this post… uh… yeah… uh… Shut the front door!

[ESMA busts out a quick jam… then…]

FM: STOP!

[ESMA pauses… then begins the slow groove]

G$: *snap… snap… snap…* Awe yeeah… good to see you Q. C. I… Derrrrs… where we uh… on this post… it is not like the most… it’s a… slow jam… yeah… oh… but don’t you worry baby… and uh… don’t you cry… [singing] because we get random, all the tiiiime… !
FM: [singing] You stop to read this stuff ev-er-y day, It’s a slow jam post baby just be-have. You get the scoop and the pub-lic matters, but Grant can’t spell and has horr-i-ble grammar…

[ESMA pauses with a drum snap… *snap*… then continues the slow jam]

*snap… snap… snap…*

G$: *snap… snap… snap…* Hey… So we got ourselves a Guv race… that’s a… getting a little in yo face… but with no disgrace. You see… the peeps in the G.O.P. are… feelin’ some love… they are feelin’ some soul… I’m means… the DMR gots themselves a good poll…
FM: [singing] You know it was a good poll…
G$: [singing] Hmmmm baby it was a huge poll…
FM: [singing] Talkin’ ‘bout a big poll…
G$: [singing] She said it was a big poll…
FM: [singing] A good poll.
G$: [singin] Large poll.
FM: [singing] Lord it was a huuu huuu eee-uuuuge poll.
G$: [singing] Damn right we gotta big poll.
FM: [signing] It’s all right.
G$: [signing] Alright.
FM: [signing] It’s all right.
G$: [signing] Nothin’ wrong with a big poll.
FM: [signing] Damn right.
G$: [signing] GOP is pumped now.
FM: [singing] Tha Geee yee eeah.O.P. is stimulated…

G&: [singing] Hmmm.. #goodjoboutofyou y'all

[ESMA pauses with a drum snap… *snap*… then continues the slow jam]

G$: So easy… very easy… easy to say that peeps are… a little… excited… the Rs are aroused… But… some peeps are sweatin’… they feel some of that… heat… I’m talkin’ about the other side… you see… KMac, Murphy Murph and the funky bunch… and of course... the Big Lug…
FM: [singing] Chetty sweatin’ now…
G$: But… you know… he ain’t sweatin’ because… he's got a little junk in the trunk… nah… he's sweatin' over time now... because his digits… they be diving…
FM: [singing] Chet Culver’s approval is startin’ to dip, so he cooled down off on a fitness trip. All wonder... from the VBC to Audubon, why’d he go skins... in that triathalon?

[ESMA pauses with a drum snap… *snap*… then continues the slow jam]

G$: *snap… snap… snap…* While we are feelin’good… like a… good back massage… But our peeps… they are gettin’ a little feisty… I mean… trying to get that vote… And our guys are… a… working it… Bobby V scores…himself some endorsements… Roberts… gives good… speeches… Then Jerry Jerry posts… and coasts to events… And… uh...
FM: [singing] C Rants twitters, starts old school Google, Hits the road, fills the car wit Biofuel. Christian Fong shows he can raise some cash, and T-E-B still rocks an awesome mustache…

[ESMA pauses with a drum snap… *snap*… then continues the slow jam]

G$: Damn right… *snap… snap… snap…* But uh… nothin’ wrong with a little drama… a little competition… a primary… get our candidate… get a good one… to win in the fall... next year… but babies… we’s gonna have to get… together…
FM: [singing] Ohhhh we gonna have to get together…
G$: [singing] Unite as a party now…
FM: [singing] Do the group thing
G$: [singing] Ohhhh eee ohhh we gonna get together now
FM: [singing] For the group thing
G$: [singing] Come together baby.
FM: [signing] Group thang.
G$: [signing] It’s alright.
FM: [signing] Alright.
G$: [signing] It feels right
FM: [signing] Feels so right
G$: [signing] Do the group.
FM: [signing] Do it as a group.
G$: [singing] As group... a group... a group, gotta be a group... you. got. to. be. a. gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta be a group, gotta be a group… oh yeah... you gotta... do it as one y’all

FM: [singing] Families will fight and disagree, but baby baby baby baby don’t you leave. Support your guy and support your man, but don’t make June 8th a one night stand.

[ESMA pauses with a drum snap… *snap*… then continues the slow jam]

G$: *snap… snap… snap…* That’s right… just because we will have a little fight… a little spat… between friends… we all know…. making up… is… so much more fun…
FM: [singing] ohhh making up is fun.
G$: Heal the wounds… unite… and take back that Leadership… So pick your guy. Show your might. Keep fighting the good fight. Go to these events, the chili suppers… put up a sign, slap a bumper sticker…
FM: [singing] Slap it good y’all.
G$: I said slap it.
FM: [singing] Slap it on…
G$: Slap it.
FM: [singing] ohhh… slap ‘em on now.
G$: [signing] Ohh yeah slap
FM: [singing] Slap a good one y’all.
G$: [singing] Smack it baby
FM: [singing] One more time
G$: [singing] Thank you may I have anotha now
FM: [singing] ohhh… slap it babe
G$: [signing] Smack it good
FM: [singing] Baby with a car antenna...

G$: Because no matter how big our poll is now… it can all go… down… soften up… and we’ll need everyone… to bring this State back… to make the comeback full circle. To there’s to much on the line… so much this time!

[ESMA escalates the jam]

FM: [singing] There’s too much at stake, for this Hawkeye State, we need a new leader, for goodness sake. So pull for yo fella, pull for you guy, Annnnnnd come together post primary… tiiiii eeee iiiime!

[ESMA pauses with a drum snap… *snap*]

G$: And that… is how we come together… with a slow jam… for the primary…

Stay thirsty…

EDITORS' NOTE: If you had a hard time following this, are from Story City, have no soul and/or lack the funk... peep this… <-------------- Meaning, click on that link. This should explain...

Upon Further Review Wednesday

2009-11-18T08:32:00.005-06:00

A little something different today... mostly because of the awesomeness of QCI-ders. You see, like a great Grunge Band, we loves ourselves some feedback... and our loyal readers are chirping. We're not sure if you're actually stimulated by the topics here... possibly really really bored... or you just are humoring the World's Crappiest Blog... but its good to hear from you.

So... maybe... just maybe we could have a steady new feature here on QCI... Upon Further Review Wednesday... basically... where we revisit a subject or newsie thing that you are still talking about after the fact... or if we did a lame job on it... or everyone else is slobbering about it still and we're just jumping on the bandwagon...

Let's try this then get a little random...

CHET CULVER - OK... lots of stuff on him lately. So lets disect this. The fat thing... stop it. I know there's a lot of peeps who love a good joke and such... but let's review it. Number one... remember how the whole "Big Lug" thing in '06? How'd that go? Number two. New Jersey this year? Yeah... now we chatted about the pics and such yesterday... let those speak for themselves. That's basically really horrible staff work there and terrible planning. But focus a little better QCI-ders... I mean... if we're gonna channel our inner Mortal Combat and "finish him" next fall... quit talking about weight and more about how bad of a manager of government he is. The dude's tanking... he's been on TV for like 3 weeks now and his numbers still continue to dive... Seriously QCI-ders, everytime there has been a test for this adminsitration they have failed worse than me trying to win a spelling and grammar contest... so yeah... upon further review... don't talk about the fat... talk about the facts... and we'll win a year from now.

THE QCI TWEET UP - Should have some deets nailed down this week. It will be fun... informative... (snicker) and awesome. Be on the lookout. Epic.
EPIC BOOK UPDATE - Wow... backlash! So... some of you were pretty upset when we were told not to talk about the soon to be dead last on the list I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry That I'm Awesome. Well... I got the OK to tell you what we're up to now... basically working on the layout of the thing... subjects... story boards... ect... QCI HQ looks like most of you peeps' places before a fantasy football draft... white boards... note cards... epic.
HOLY CRAP, ALMOST 40,000 - Seriously... you people have nothing else better to do. But thanks for taking the time for reading this abuse of the 1st amendment... abuse of the english language... giving a bad name to bloggers and people who write every where... Anyways... we'll be at 40,000 hits soon. Thanks for everything on that.
FUNNY TAKE... BUT TRUE... I GUESS - Over heard something the other day... Dude was talking about how all of the cool things start to suck after while... say Facebook for example... Dude was like "Urgh... Facebook is starting to suck." And his buddy goes, "Dude, its the boomers man." Dude was like, "Huh?" And his buddy goes, "Yeah man, the baby boomers... they take stuff that is cool and ruin them." Dude was like... "Whoah... you're right." Heheheheh... oh yeah... kind of like our benefits we put money into that we'll never see... oh this could be a good Damn It Rant if I were more motivated...

AND FINALLY... Since we probably just pissed off every Baby Boomer who checks in here... why not go with it... keep the theme... and crank some Limp Bizkit... its just one of those days... crank this and bring it...

Dwayne, Zach, Everclear... and Shirts versus Skins

2009-11-17T15:33:00.004-06:00

Alright… a little more G$ish stuff today… Of which I know totally annoys most of you… But for real… kind of a weird day like that. Anyways… we hit another day of highs and lows here at the QCI HQ… Let’s get to it.

WTF, WTF, WTF… DWAYNE! You have to be f’ing joking me. But per the Chiefs PR tweeter…. Its true. Star receiver Dwayne Bowe is suspended for 4 games for PEDs (performance enhancing drugs). This is so friggin awesome… no it isn’t you moron. GRRRRRRRR… You think I’m pissed? How about Matt Cassel? Better yet… wouldn’t want to run into Todd Haley right now. Dude would rip your head off. Urgh…
WOOT! ZACH ATTACK! Just when we are getting let down by teams we follow… some good news… Kansas City Royal Zach Greinke is your 2009 AL Cy Young Award winner. This dude is epic. Crazy thing is… if you know his story… he almost quit baseball… now he’s… sing it Tina… “Simply the best!” Oh yeah… that was totally dripping with Cheese Whiz… get over it.
CONGRATS MR AND MRS OLD BOY! Direct from the Amazing Crappy Not-so-breaking news Tex Mexing Thinger… We can report that Old Boy is now a father. I know I can collectively speak for the entire QCI-der community when I say, “Holy crap! Old boy is a baby daddy!?!” Just kidding here. Per a tex mex… It’s a boy! Max Russell Johansen, 6 pounds, 9 ounces, 19 inches… born this morning. Again congrats to Eric and Tara… #goodjoboutofyou

It’s been a while… so lets do one of these…

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY

“So and so… ran into the ‘twisted firestarter’ last night. She set fire to my Jeep back in the day. And yes, she was a dancer. ‘was’ being the key word. She is not so pretty, but still twisted.”

This is epic if you really know the deets... epic.

WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH THERE BIG LUG – Now… I’m gonna be the last one to poke fun at Culver on this stuff. I mean, in case you haven’t heard… I have would doctors call…. A little bit of a weight problem… So yeah, hi kettle, my name is black. How are you? But my man… holy schnikes on the pics on the DMR now... ERRR no longer on the DMR... I mean… I have done a Chris Farley routine a time or 2… yups the Swayze one… but, I’m not the Gov. Yikes… his week, not so much for him. But come on dude... you didn't think someone was gonna snaps the pics with your shirt off? Holy smokes... again, nice to meet you kettle, I'm Black... nice to meet you. Um... who gets fired now for letting this happen to Governor is the next question...
CHRISTMAS AWESOMENESS, GOD’S COUNTRY STYLE – So if you been a long time reader, you know my Pops is putting on an addition to the Garage. Yes, the Legendary Garage… the best place in the World. But get this… for Jewell Christmas tour of homes on December 6th… the garage is on the tour… not the house… the garage. Email me up for the deets if want to hit the Christmas garage tour. Epic.
EVERCLEAR UNDER INVESTIGATION – So… the State peeps are now saying that want to discuss Everclear… due to the Drake kid going to the hospital and such. Ummm… where were these dudes during most College Republican functions in the mid ’90s? I know at least 10 people at the ole CR parties I could call on for a report on Everclear… I bet all of the conclusions on their reports end… something like… “Get this… Everclear will f you up. I mean they clean lab tools with this shit for Christ’s sake. Duh.”

AND FINALLY… A quick little plug for one of pals who will be performing at the Funny Bone over Thanksgiving weekend… (dude, we’ll be there) Old school NIACC pal Josh Alton… saw the show a while back… epic. Good stuff… oh and weird enough… here’s his bit on Community College… here's all the deets on him and his stop back in Iowa. Until then, stay thirsty friends….

Yo yo yo like Paulie during the Holidays...

2009-11-16T15:50:00.011-06:00

Whoah QCI-ders…what a weekend. It was down…then up… whoah… Let’s get to it…

LOOKIE LOOKIE – So in case you’re living under a rock… the DMR has a new poll out. This is some good momentum. For real… we saw this thing retweeted more than a couple of dozen times… This is huhuhuhu huge!
BOAL TO TEB - This is a bigger pick up than the average bear QCI-ders… Former State Rep. Carmine Boal has signed up with Team TEB. “Why is this key G$?” Glad you asked. This is big because… not only does she have good conservative street cred… but 2 other things… 1) She was a part of the Team Huckamania Leadership in Iowa… so the whole “so goes Team Huck, so goes Team BVP” theory, not so much… 2) When Carmine gets involved in a campaign… look out, good things happen… stay tuned there.
HEART ATTACK ERRRR HEARTBREAK HAWKS – We’re still feeling like a beaten puppy after that one… I will just stop now before I type the 33 new cuss words I created during that game. Still have a pretty huge opening in my chest... urgh...
CHIEEEEEEEFS! Oh hell yes! You know what makes us feel better? The frigging Chiefs won! Even more sweeter? They beat the Raidas…. Yes it was ugly… but what does ugly mean? Say it all together QCI-ders… “Ugly still means you have a date to the prom.” So… we got that going for us.
EPIC BOOK UPDATE – OK… sorry to be all "sell out" on you… but at the advising of my agents and promotional team… I have been told to keep details on the upcoming soon to be dead last on the New York Times Bestseller List… I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry That I’m Awesome… off of QCI... But… I have been given the OK to tweet about it… so you may stay tuned there… look for requests, ideas and the whole process of creating the most horrible book of all time. Epic. Yeah... sorry for being a sell out... but face it... We're sell outs like Metallica... we sell out every time... holler! Stay thirsty on this one.
THAT BLASTED BARNES II – So late last night… we’re watching Sound Off… And all we hear and see is this stupid… very misled bit that Harrison Barnes was seriously considering ISU and/or ISU was a contenda… If you think or thought this… you can start to hit yourself in the head with a tack hammer… Also... how many stolen top Iowa made recruits does it make for ole Roy Williams? Hmmm...
COOL BLOG(s) ALERT – One of our favorite Celeb bloggers and former Iowa City drinking pal, Super Liz Crokin, is starting a new political blog? What!?! Super Liz, this mean no more Celeb hunting or being called a Parasite by John Cusak? Say it ain’t so! For all things celeb, check out These Boots Are Made For Stalking… and stay tuned to LizCrokin.com for more epic updates. Sup-er! Liz! Who's up for table dancing at the U Bar?
LJ TO CINCY? You heard it here first. The Cincinnati Bengals will not make the Super Bowl. If they sign LJ, this will seal their fate.
COOL EVENT ALERT – QCI Tweet Up – Awe yeah… you likes to tweet? You likes the QCI (or at least humor us)? Then… let’s get together… PLUS! Yous gets to play one of the MOST EPIC games in history. Nah… ever. Deets to come. So tweet tweet bitches! Oh… and follow my horrible crappy updates at @grantyoung72. Treat yo tweeter good nah. Details to come... Stay thirsty on this one too...

AND FINALLY… Holy smokes! How did we miss this cover? This is beyond epic… I don’t care what is going on in your office… what you’re doing online at home… or if you’re about to download some naughty naughty time… do yourself a favor (and everyone within listening distance)… stop what you’re doing… and crank the shiznit out of this!!!!! DO IT NOW!!!!

Weekend Update... That blasted Harrison ERR Cliff Barnes....

2009-11-13T16:56:00.003-06:00

Crank the Tears for Fears because we’re rolling out a Weekend Update. As we know… everybody wants to rule the World… So let’s get to some updates.. random as always…

DID MCKINLEY JUST CALL THE CULVER ADMINISTRATION STUPID? Um. He just might have… Per spam from the Paulster here... Whoah, I get guess he did.
OH HELL YES!!! So we gets ourselves a down ticket statewide primary. Not that we aren’t disappointed with the field… but now since Eichhorn has jumped in… and possibly Pate… We get to bust out Ace Ventura pics again… FInkle and Eichhorn… Eichhorn or Finkle!!?!?!
GMLB ON TV – Weird… we thought we saw ole GMLB up on the air the other night… but it was just some lobby group trying to get you to call him and say thanks for some thing they spend a lot of money to pass. So.. yeah thanks GMLB… for uh.. never mind.
SEPAKING OF GAYS – So Joy Corning is making phone calls… telling peeps to support Gay Marriage. Wonder if GMLB got himself a call. Loves himself some gay marriage.
THEN THE SHIT STORM – Now the ICA and IFPC are getting all huffy and puffy. Got spammed by the ICA peeps and Hurla Hurley (our new nickname) sent out thingers… Not sure if there’s a crowd of folks assembled outsode of the TEB HQ with torches and pitch forks… but I’d be on the look out.
WHICH IS ALL GOOD RIGHT? So… now the focus in the GOP Primary is all gays all the time… and peeps on Fleur Drive and Terrace Hill are smirking… because everyone has stopped talking about the mismanagement of the Big Lug.
HARRISON BARNES TO UNC – Yeah… not a shocker. Oh come Iowa Staters…did you really think you were going to get him? Child please, I have a better shot of Elizabeth Shue stopping to see me at Vets Auditorium over lunch hour for a Nooner… yeah… never was or never will happen.
HUHUHU HUGE TAKE FROM THE TWITTER - #goojoboutyou to one of our favorite peeps John Gilliland over at ABI for when he Tweeted: “YIKES - if Braley is right and Congress passes public option in health care IA's 60,000 insurance jobs @ risk.”
RAIDER WEEK – Raider week!!!! Actually feeling good about this one. Methinks that we actually got a shot being Larry-less for a week. BTW… good luck to you sirs who pick him up on wavers… #horriblejoboutofyou
EPIC BOOK UPDATE – Yeah this thing is getting off the chain. Basically this book is gonna take all of the coolest things there are… and smoosh them together. Epic.

AND FINALLY… Over at QCI HQ… we’re beginning to become real big fans of the Jimmy Fallon Show… basically because of the Roots… Last night they slow jammed the news… we’re totally doing that soon… so stay thirsty friends… and crank up… Oh… and that’s the news and I am out of here…

Wait... this thing is for real?

2009-11-12T11:57:00.004-06:00

Whoah… what a day QCI-ders… you all are freaking awesome. Ever since I announced my upcoming book… things started to get off the chain! Emails, texts, tweets… and phone calls? Yeah, you people are crazy. Crazy good that is. So… since you are all in on this thing… I thought… Man… I’m gonna need some help. I’ve never written a book before… So immediately… there was a QCI HQ Staff meeting… Everyone got their moleskines out and the brainstorming began… Here’s some of our current action items we are working on… you got any ideas? Tex Mex me up… Here’s our to-dos… and their statuses…

GET A KICK ASS AGENT – Yeah… gonna need an awesome agent… Like better than Ari Gold. Basically… hook me up with a huge deal… then… (and this is key)… once we sell a gazillion copies… hit the speaking circuit… then we’ll find some sucker political organization to pay me $100,000 to show up and speak… then what will I do… oh hell yes… sell more freaking books. I’m a freaking genius! How awesome is this? So… if you are interested, I’m taking applications now… so if you know some peeps… hit me up. Also, we’re creating a list of morons who would actually pay $100,000 for a speaker… so send those suggestions too! You guys are awesome.

GET A REALLY GOOD EDITOR – Yeah… I totally suck at spelling and grammar… Like I’m really freaking bad. Yeah… if I had a gun to my head and was told to write a paragraph… with no mistakes… spell things right and use the correct words… BANGBANG. Down goes G$... So since my sister April is basically the QCI Spelling/Grammar monitor…. She gets the gig. Yeah… she’s always on my case on that stuff. But she said it’s gonna cost me… so you can blame her for why the book will cost too much… you’ll still buy it though…

OH YEAH… WRITE THE FREAKING THING – So… I actually started putting pen to paper… burning up the keyboard… Epic. For real… But since you all are loyal readers… I’ll give you a sneaky sneak preview of what I’m planning to include in the book:
- 72 Chapters of awesomeness… 3 of them will be chapters of coloring pages… so really 69 chapters… hahaha… 69…
- Collectible stickers and sticker pages. EVERYONE LOVES STICKERS! I’m a genius… I know. It’s like peeps will buy this… just for the cool stickers.
- Format? Random… Dude this thing is turning more into a cool workbook for being awesome… and other random things… Epic. This book will change your life.

So yeah… that’s the update on the book… Thanks for all of your ideas and kind things to say… this thing is gonna be awesome… and you all get to come along for a ride. Got ideas? Tex mex me, email it, Facebooker or Tweet Tweet, bitches… Send it my way.

Totally have more stuff coming… our horrible takes and thoughts that you enjoy reading like you like enjoy watching train wrecks… epic.

Stay thirsty friends… And have yourself a helping of the Darkness… Enjoy…

Dude... I'm Writing a Book...

2009-11-11T09:04:00.006-06:00

I’m selling books… No for real… How freaking cool is the cover of my book? Freaking awesome.

So… I was keeping this on the down low… but since only about 5 people read this (Hi Grandma!)… I thought I would share that I am writing a book. It’s gonna be called… “I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry That I’m Awesome”… When will it come out? Hmmmm… Not sure… maybe when I need to make a convenient visit somewhere to get some earned media… oh… that’s not how it works? For real… you’ll want to buy it. It will be epic. I promise to put a ton of pictures in it so that you people reading in Story City will enjoy too! How awesome is that! I love books with pictures! Maybe even coloring pages! I know… pretty freaking cool.

Plus… I’m totally doing this. I’m not joking. And you county parties… and State Party? Yeah… no dice for you. This is me time… 24/7 me… so yeah, stick it… why would I want to help you out? Sure you may have chances to win back majorities in the House… possibly Senate… But how many books does that sell me? None. None at all. Chance to take back Terrace Hill? Well… maybe I’ll kinda help with that… hmmm… nah… I gots books to sell.

Again… what’s in it for me? Seriously? (hugest smirk of all time)

Anyways… since this is the “in” thing to do now… you know, write a book… sell it… get on all the TV shows… Maybe host SNL… or get a cool funny spoof… that’s why you write them… right? Well… since everyone is pushing books… Let’s chirp about it.

OMG OMG SARAH PALIN IS COMING! OMG! Here’s the deets… might be harder to get tickets to a Rolling Stones concert… And yes… I can’t believe I typed that. *scream like a little girl* OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

HUCK-A-BOOKS – The Huckster made stops for his new book. BTW, dude sure does write a lot. Anyhoop… says that the trips and or schedule have nothing to do with 2012… riiiiight… *wink wink*… *nudge nudge*… (ginormous smirk) Yeah… and BREAKING NEWS… I love West Des Moines… Loves me some West DeMo… Yeah… its great… I do everything there… yeah… Its my favorite… WRONG.

So yeah… who’s gonna buy my book when it comes out? It will be awesome… Epic. I mean… probably the worst book ever… I mean.. worst for you… kids will be trying to read it behind adults backs… Yeah that awesome… and I told you… PICTURES!!! Lots and lots and lots of pictures!!!!! It will be epic…

Plus, have no fear… on my book tour… You can totally buy as many as you want…. And I’ll sign em all… I’ll even personalize them… hell… you want a stick figure drawing on it… I’ll do it… of course… this will all cost you extra…

More news to come on my epic book...

Until then… Stay thirsty friends... and crank this…

A Sad Story of Justice...

2009-11-11T08:50:00.004-06:00

This was forwarded on from a loyal QCI-der... So I thought I would share...

Kansas City, MO (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Jackson County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Kansas City Chiefs, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

What's next...

2009-11-10T08:50:00.004-06:00

Alright… man you people have nothing else better to do than to read this stuff… But… since you’re stopping… And we aim to please… What’s the next part of this who Guv race on the GOP side? I mean… there was a ton of hype for Saturday… now… its just back to the road... So call us Jed Bartlett because we’re asking “What’s next?” Alright… let’s get to work on a horrible and even more crappier break down of what’s next…

EVENTS – Speeches and showing up… now, we’re prolly gonna get some sort of debates and forums… Some by the newsies… some by County Parties which will spark more straw polls… “Me next! Me next!” mentalities of every county party to follow… Ect. Ect. Ect… So the rubber chicken circuit will be booming…

But key large events? Well, there’ll be the Spring Dinner at RPI… Precinct Caucuses… County Conventions… and the Districts… from now on… these events will have to show the flex in the muscle in these campaigns… which segways perfectly to the QCI Crappy Keys of the Game. Organization.

ORGANIZATION – Spin me until you’re blue in the face about who gave the best talk… best on the issues… Spin to me that a sub par speech just cost you the primary… come on now… you believe that? Hell nah… foot soldiers, chairs, precinct captains… city captains… yeah. You don’t got ‘em… Good luck to you sirs.

Issues yes are important. Absolutely. No doubt. Yes, Pope Benny is still Catholic… got it. But… Organization, Organization and uh… Organization is going to get this bad boy. “G$, why are so sold on this?” Well a few things… First, we predicted here… that this thing is gonna go to a convention. If you don’t think so… you have to at least give me that it’ll get damn close… thus… Organization becomes more important than a bad speech. Second, (and this is for the people in Story City reading) that’s how you cash in the votes… meaning identify, motivate then turn out. Third... this will be a part of the healing process once we get a nominee… Everyone in Iowa has a 2nd and 3rd choice. The smart campaigns will keep track… once the win… follow up and reach out. Fourthly... not the smartest guy in the world or most successful but I dabbled at this... just a little....

“G$, you moron… [insert issue that’s most important to you] is the most important factor! That’s how you will win!” Oh yeah… I hear you… (smirk) whoever supports the Monday after the Super Bowl as a National (or State) Holiday… that may sell it to me… but how will they know it is an issue for me? Oh yeah… having the peeps (volunteers) who found me and reminded me that Candidate X supports Super Monday…

THIS IS WHEN STAFFERS AND PEOPLE MATTER – I have always said, staffers don’t win or lose elections… candidates do… but this is where all these people start to earn their money… Working the counties… getting out there… making so many phone calls that they hear these conversations in their sleep… its hard ass work and usually taken for granted… and usually not given much credit… but this is when it happens…

WHAT TO WATCH – Releases on who’s signing up. Yeah… I know the ones on issues and such… nah the key we will be watching here at the HQ… are who is getting on board. This stuff matters more in most cases… I’m not talking about who signs on as staff or consultants (still a big deal but we’ll talk about that another time)… Activists… non paid activists… they are giving something worth more… their time and their street cred.

We know most of these peeps… and we’re anxious to see who signs where… Think of it as the NFL Draft… There’s a lot of first rounders out there… be on the look out.

But hey… that’s our horrible opinion… we’re probably way off…

More horrible updates to come… Stay thirsty friends…

Monday Morning QuarterHACK...

2009-11-09T11:20:00.003-06:00

OK... Chairs have been put away... staffers have taken down their signs... peeps high tailed it back to West DeMo... so we're gonna need a wrap up of the low down from Saturday night... It will be random... it will be crappy... but you'll still read it. Why? Because it’s awesome... not really... I'm paying you to read this... paying you in awesome.

If you want to catch all of our horrible updates from Saturday, click here... this link is your huckleberry.

SO WHO WON? I think that whole idea of who won is... well... non applicable to this (whoah that was a huge word)... I think "Who met expectations" is better… Did they? Eh… upon further review… we’ll say average. Everyone is chirping about TEB’s speech… BVP… as expected… But as an over all if there was anything… Rod Roberts prolly helped himself the most… we said it Saturday… there’s a reason this guy wins a County Straw Poll on the other side of the state.

EXPECTATIONS: They were set way to high… self inflicted by campaigns and the media peeps bought it. That’s what you’re reading today and read yesterday… yeah we’re talking TEB… and while were at it… everyone else too. You think peeps have their minds made up on the field of candidates before TEB entered in? No. That’s what raised the expectations Saturday… no one would have cared about his speech if they were indeed satisfied with the current field.

MORE BRANSTAD: OK… yeah… wasn’t the best. But in defense, this is the way he gives speeches. There are tons of peeps in that crowd… who weren’t around when he was an actual candidate back in the day… so… there’s that. Also, even if the delivery was off… I heard a great take on Branstad from a loyal reader… “He was fired up… he has ‘the voice’ when it comes to the Iowa GOP… As in, kind of like your Pops… when your Pops raises his voice… you usually listen.” Just thought that was an interesting take.

FACT CHECK: Per Christopher Rants’ speech… there were more people at the Tea Party thing than at the RPI event? Uh… from multiple sources… we heard that wasn’t true. We’re told Rants himself had a hard time finding enough peeps to talk to as HyVee Hall was pretty empty. Not to say that the event wasn’t successful or anything… just saying.

DROPPING OUT? So… we heard peeps chirping that someone might drop out that night… well, no one did. So our whole Separation Saturday hype… fizzled. But… if we go at the current rate we are now. You heard it hear first… there will be a convention to decide the nominee. Saturday provided no real runaway stuff. This thing just turned into an epic Big Ten football game… be on the lookout for smash mouth.

T-PAW – Nothing like quoting Ricky Bobby to get your visit to Iowa noticed… #goodjoboutofyou

QCI’S CHEESE BALL QUESTION BUCKET – For real… #goodjoboutofyou to peeps who stopped by and answered them. #horriblejoboutofyou to peeps who didn’t… what were ya scared of?

SHOUT OUTS – Yo… huhuhu huge wasssups to all the peeps in Bloggers Row. Art “Spell Checker” Smith… “Insane” Shane Vander Hart… “You Can Call Me Al” Al Bregar… “C-Raig” Craig Robinson and The "Cooler than you" Cool Conservative… (yeah… I like to make up and hand out nicknames… word). Had a tons of fun… and hope you all were entertained… Let’s do it again soon kids…

Anyway… this is our horrible wrap up and Monday Morning QuarterHACKery…

Are we off? Chirp away in the comments….

Don't the door hit ya....

2009-11-09T09:35:00.002-06:00

....Where the good Lord split ya.

Buh bye Larry Johnson. No all time Chiefs rushing record for you... oh basically... no career left for you.

With Johnson gone... the Kansas City Chiefs can officially call them selves cancer survivors.

Wrapping it up...

2009-11-07T20:34:00.002-06:00

Alright.... We're wrapping this up...

Peeps are telling us... you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here....

So... we'll do a recap sometime...

Thanks to the State Party for this very fun deal.

Epic if you will.

Alright...

G$ signing out...

Everyone safe travels... and crank the Metallica....

I'm out...

Rants and we're almost done...

2009-11-07T20:20:00.003-06:00

Almost done with the shindig...

RANTS

- Started good... funny lines...
- Clearly showing why we call him the Newt of the state of Iowa... dude is smart.
- Good outline of stuff.
- He's all in for sure.

Show of Support: Again... more people are curious...

Quick Thoughts: The dude is uber smart... did a good outline... the firery Rants is back... Good speech... if he wants to be in this deal... he gonna keep hitting the road.

Fong time...

2009-11-07T20:06:00.002-06:00

Only two more to go... and both named Chris...

FONG

- Telling the "American Dream: story...
- Talking economics...
- Gave good stats and had their attention
- Cut cut cut cutty govt.
- Gretzky quote? Decent...

Show of support: People were curious... Gave a good speech has signs ups and such... Barn sign spotting... #goodjoboutofyou Victory :)

Quick Thoughts: You know... I don't know... a lot of peeps saying he's too young... But, peeps were listening... We shall see..