Church Planting Wives

I've Been Carjacked?

2009-07-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

A perfect stranger just drove away in my minivan...

Vince has a new book coming out in February called, "Guerrilla Lovers." The premise of the book is that as Christians we need to love people in a way that surprises them. Guerrilla warfare is a type of warfare where you "sneak attack" your enemy (think Vietnam War). In the same way we need to "attack" people with God's love. It's an awesome book that's challenging and inspiring.

So when was the last time you loved someone in such a way that shocked them; that made them question your sanity? A love with no strings attached and no creepy motives...

I came home from the gym this morning and found an old man in the street by my house. We said hello and I headed up my driveway. He stopped me in my tracks and said, "Do you have any jumper cables?" I thought I did so I started to look in my trunk. Once I found them I brought them over to him where I saw a younger girl working on her car. She asked if I could jump start her car. After several tries it wouldn't work. Her battery was deader than dead.

She was totally frazzled and upset. She had to bring her Uncle (the old man) to the bus station and her car was dead. Without even thinking I said, "Why don't you take my car?" She said, "What? I don't even know you!" (She just moved into the neighborhood with her cousin this past weekend) I said, "I don't care, you need to take him to the bus station and you need to buy a new battery, so take my car!" She finally agreed, jumped in and drove off. As I walked away she said, "The world needs more people like you in it."

What could you do this week to show someone God's love in a really practical way? Could you make cookies for your neighbor? Could you buy your garbage man a gift card to Home Depot? Could you shower your kids' teacher with presents for no reason?

People will think you are crazy. They will wonder what in the world you've been smoking! Even Vince questioned my sanity when I told him about my car. But it's worth it anyway! So here's your assignment. Do something Guerrilla Lover-ish this week and tell us about it in the comment section on this post.

Happy Guerrilla Loving!

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Seriously????

2009-06-29T16:17:00.001-07:00

I took this picture today on my iPhone! There aren't really any words to say...

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I've Been Strobel-ized!

2009-06-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend Lee Strobel preached at Central Christian Church in Vegas. If you get a chance, go to Central's website and listen to the message. It's a good one. For those of you who, like me, can't imagine sitting down and listening to a sermon on the computer I thought I'd give you some highlights. I think it's especially important for church planting wives.

The theme of the sermon was based on his new book, "The Unexpected Adventure." He posed the question, what if Jesus physically lived in my house? Would He treat my neighbors differently than I do? What would He and I do the same? What would we do differently from each other? He had three points:

1. Before Jesus talked to his neighbors about God, he talked to God about his neighbors. He talked about how important it is to bring our relationships before God. He used the example of Jesus being crucified and how, even during His agonizing pain, He prayed for those who were crucifying Him. "Father forgive them..." Even on His deathbed He was talking to God about the very people in his life that were killing him.

He also told a powerful story about the importance of praying for our lost family and friends and not giving up...ever!

2. Jesus would make it clear that His door was always open for questions. It's pretty clear in the Bible that Jesus doesn't mind people asking him questions. We sometimes get the idea that God is annoyed by us and our questions, lack of faith or understanding, etc. In Luke 7 John the Baptist questioned Jesus' identity. Jesus didn't get mad at John for his questions, and later even said that no one was greater than John.

He shared an awesome story about a debate between a Christian and an Atheist that took place at Willow Creek. Click here if you want to watch the debate.

How open is your "door" to questions about God? We don't have to have all the answers; we have to listen, pray and be available to our non-Christian friends and family.

3. Jesus would be authentic in His relationships with His neighbors. He would be 100% authentic, full of integrity, with no signs of hypocrisy. He talked about how non-Christians scan the lives of Christians (especially those in ministry) for discrepancies and in-authenticity.

He shared a story about a girl named Maggie who hated church because she had been abused by people who called themselves Christians. After joining a small group and hanging around Christians she became a Christian. She said that she decided to become a Christian because , "I ran into a bunch of people who were like Jesus to me." They were humble, gentle and they loved her.

So a few questions ran through my mind during the sermon. I thought I'd share them with you.

How's my prayer life? Do I regularly pray for my lost friends and family? Is there anyone I've given up on praying for?

How accessible am I to people? Is my schedule so full that I don't have time to sit down with a neighbor and talk? Am I known as someone who is a good listener? Am I approachable?

Are there any signs of hypocrisy in my life? Is there anything I do that I would be embarrassed if people knew? Is my private life consistent with my public life?

Do I live a life of love?

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Various Updates and Ramblings!

2009-06-26T19:54:00.000-07:00

This has been a really busy week! I'm so excited for a nice, relaxing weekend. Just wanted to update you on a few things:

* I have potential meetings with two different organizations in Vegas that work in the sex trafficking industry. Please pray that I'm able to meet with them next week and that it's productive and that God really gives me wisdom about getting involved.

* Logan Sekulow has started a new ministry called the Be Heard Project. You donate $4 a month and 4 different ministries get $1 each. I'm pretty sure the ministries change every month. Verve is one of the 4 featured ministries this month. Go to the website for more info.

* I started leading some girls in Jennifer Rothschild's book, "Me, Myself and Lies." It's a 6-week study. Beth Moore is facilitating the study on her blog. I'm super excited.

* Any girl born in the seventies has a special place in her heart for both Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Charlie's Angels made me believe that I could fight crime and still look hot. Thriller made me believe that I could dance and destroy monsters at the same time. Both died this week; what a bummer. I saw Michael Jackson in concert in 1984; that was one of the highlights of my childhood. I also collected Charlie's Angels trading cards (they had a piece of a puzzle imprinted on the back of every card. If you collected all the cards, you were able to finish the puzzle. As hard as my sister and I tried, we never completed the puzzle).

* I went on a field trip with my son today. There's something unsettling about driving in a bus full of kids past billboards of Holly Madison's boobs and strippers in thongs. I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore.

* We've had Matt Caron living with us since the beginning of February. He's from Virginia Beach and attended Forefront. He's headed home to spend the rest of the summer with his family and then he's coming back in August to go to UNLV, where he'll live in the dorms. He took Vince and I to dinner last night at an amazing restaurant that overlooked the whole city. The food and view was out of this world!

* My new "best" Vegas friend's name is Melissa. Her son and my son are in the same class (and both their names are Dawson...how crazy is that?!) and on the same baseball team. I went to a Pampered Chef party at her house on Tuesday night. I got to meet lots of women; it was so cool. I decided to have a Pampered Chef party at my house for my neighbors. Vegas is known as one of the most un-neighborly cities in America. It's weird...everyone drives up, opens their garage doors, pulls in, and closes it behind them. People don't hang around outside; it's not very easy to get to know your neighbors. So, my idea is that I'm going to invite all the ladies on my street to my house for a Pampered Chef party (with no obligation to buy, of course) and hopefully we'll all get to know each other. Please pray that this actually happens and that people actually show up. It's on July 22nd.

* Vince is headed to Sacramento, CA this weekend to preach at Adventure Christian Church. One of my oldest and dearest friends lives there; I'm incredibly jealous of Vince!

* Tickle (A.K.A Junior) died a few minutes ago. He was a darkling beetle that my daughter raised from a mere larva at school. She loved that beetle (and even held it, which makes me want to barf), but got over his death within a few seconds. Which makes me wonder why our world has revolved around that stupid beetle for so many weeks. And, the number of cockroaches that enter my house on a daily basis is enough to make me throw up. If Tickle entered my house uninvited I would have killed him. Which again makes me wonder why our world has revolved around that stupid beetle for so many weeks.

* If you have an iPhone and haven't downloaded the free update, do it now. It's awesome!

* The fact that most of my friends and family live on the east coast makes telephone calls a little challenging. For instance, I didn't call my Dad on Father's Day. What kind of daughter am I? I kept reminding myself to call him and when I finally decided to dial, it was after 11pm on the east coast. Unbelievable!

* One more thing...I am in the middle of Beth Moore's, "Esther" study and it's awesome. I am a Beth Moore addict and have literally done every study she's ever put out. This one is one of the best. Go buy it!

Have a great weekend!

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A Little Perspective!

2009-06-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

I came up with this phrase several years ago: "People come in and out of your life like underwear!"

If you've ever started a church you know that one of the places that this happens the most is in your launch team. People get excited and join your team. Some are there for the long-haul, but a lot of people come in and leave shortly thereafter. Some people join your team and then realize that it's not the place for them. Other people stay with you, but as soon as the church launches they take off. There can be theological differences, personality conflicts, schedule conflicts, and a multitude of other issues that cause the person to leave.

As a church planting wife, this can be really hard on us emotionally. We invite people into our lives, we open up our hearts and homes to them and then they leave. Unfortunately, it's just par for the course.

We've already had several people leave our launch team and we're not even launching until February. We've still got a long way to go...

I thought of a few things that have helped me along the way. I'll share them in hopes that it helps you. Please feel free to add to the list by adding a comment!

1. Stay close to God. He's really the only person that won't leave you. He's with you for the long-haul. In the end, He's the only one that will stick with you. Make your relationship with Him a priority now. He's also great at comforting the brokenhearted. So when you are struggling emotionally, He is not only there, but can help you in a way that no other person can.

2. Love people, but don't cling to them. Obviously we need to love people. But because people come in and out of your life it's important that you love them with boundaries. If you put all you've got into a person and they leave or let you down, you're in for a heap of pain and trouble.

3. Don't put heavy expectations on people. Don't expect them to fill a void in your life, meet your every need or be your "saving grace." They are just a person who is flawed and broken like you. They will disappoint you in some way at some point. No one will love your church like you do; it's your baby. Don't expect people to love it like you and be as committed as you are. You will be sorely disappointed.

4. Stick close to your husband. Talk to him about how you're feeling. Share your sadness and disappointments with him. If you don't feel like you can be honest and open with him, consider getting some marriage counseling. Open and honest communication with him is so vital on this journey. (Side note: Sometimes your husband is the reason why the person has left. He has said or done something or didn't do or say something that has made the person leave. Take sides with your husband, at least publicly. Nothing can ruin a church like a divisive marriage. Trust in his leadership. If you totally disagree obviously share your feelings with him, but at least support him in public.)

5. Talk to one or two close friends who you know will respect your privacy and protect your heart. Vince and I are going through a bunch of stuff right now and to be honest I miss my girlfriends in VA. I want to get some coffee and verbally barf all over them. For now I have to rely on the telephone. Either way, talk to them.

6. Realize that God will fill the void the person has left. He knows that people come in and out of our lives. He provides for us when people leave. Ministry areas get filled, new friendships form, etc. Try to see the big picture instead of focusing on the loss.

7. Don't let bitterness creep in. It's easy to allow resentments to build when we've been hurt. We've got to live in forgiveness-mode. We've got to give people grace!

8. Along with number 7, don't build emotional walls around yourself. We've got to give God the opportunity to knock down the walls we've built. In order for you to have healthy relationships you've got to be wall-free.

9. Have a life outside of your church. Do things that are fun to you. Sometimes we just need perspective. It's easy to allow the church and the people in the church to consume us. Take a break, go on vacations, join sports teams and clubs that have nothing to do with your church. I guarantee you'll breathe easier!

10. Enjoy the journey. How many people can say that they were part of starting a new church? You're part of an elite group of people that, if the Bible were still being written today, would probably have a few verses written about them. Don't get bogged down with the negative stuff and the drama. You're on an adventure of a lifetime!

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What Happens In Vegas...

2009-06-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

It's so weird living in Las Vegas. This place is insane. I've heard a lot of local people say that living here is just like living anywhere else in America, with the exception of the Strip. They are liars. Let me give you some examples:

1. One of my new friends, Melissa, owns a gym. They gave me a one-month free trial membership. I've been working out and getting ripped! Ha Ha! We work out with strippers, porn stars, cocktail waitresses and dealers. These people don't look like normal people. They wear practically nothing to work out in, and they are "perfect" looking; think Greek gods and goddesses. I bet that if I went to a gym in VA Beach it would be hard to find someone who was a stripper or a porn star.

2. Vince and I went out to dinner on Saturday night. We got dressed up and hit the town! I have never seen so much butt and boobs in my life...at dinner! The stiletto heels were causing so much pain. These poor girls were practically limping. The price we pay for fashion! I've been out to dinner plenty of times in VA Beach and have NEVER seen women dressed like this.

3. My kids go to a good school in a good neighborhood. From the distance it looks like a totally normal school, with pick up and drop offs by lots of parents. The difference is that a lot of the moms don't look like regular moms. You've got moms in Daisy Duke shorts, cut off shirts and I'm pretty sure the majority have boob jobs. Again, not typical to anywhere else I've ever lived.

4. Billboards are a normal sight in America, but billboards in Las Vegas are a frightening sight. There is a local internet porn company that pays people $500 to "drop their trunks" for their website. According to a recent article, they get 200 calls a day. They have billboards up all over the city. I guess that explains all the phone calls. There are also hundreds of billboards for casino night clubs and topless swimming pools.

I say all this not to bash Vegas, but to ask for your prayers. Because this is unlike anywhere else we've ever lived, our ministry needs to have aspects that are unlike anything we've ever done. Starting a church by simply sending out some postcards isn't going to work here.

We had lunch today with a pastor from a large church in town. He kept calling us "missionaries." At first I was like, "What are you talking about? I'm not a missionary. Missionaries are people who leave their country and immerse themselves in a foreign culture." Then I realized that except for leaving my country that's pretty much what we're doing.

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The Trophy Wife #2

2009-06-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

On June 6th our newspaper printed an article about the wife of the UNLV (University of Nevada, Las Vegas) president. It goes along so well with the last post that I couldn't resist sharing it with you.

"Bonnie Ashley, the wife of UNLV president David Ashley, apologized Friday for her clashes with campus staff that have been characterized by others as abrasive, rude and intimidating. In an email to the Board of Regents and Chancellor Jim Rogers, Bonnie Ashley-who had referred to herself in emails as the university's 'first lady'-said she did not realize she was 'causing so much distress' in her efforts to carry out her hostess duties."

It turns out that the Board of Regents is going to meet later this summer to determine whether or not to renew her husband's contract. I'm sure there's more involved in the decision, but I bet his wife's behavior will play a part. Can you imagine if your behavior cost your husband his job?

We know someone whose wife would sit in the car on Sunday mornings while her husband went to church. He was the pastor. She sat outside and waited for him.

Let's take a minute and evaluate ourselves (me included). Do you act in a way that negatively reflects on you or your husband? Could your actions or words cost your husband his job? In the article Ashley said, "I am most apologetic, as in my quest for improvement I was not always as gracious as I could have been in the carrying out of those plans." Are people turned off by your treatment of them? Could you be described as someone who is gracious?

After reading the article I don't think that Ashley intended to hurt people. She was just a woman on a mission who lacked tact. So often we don't realize how we come off to people. Which is why I think it's important to ask the people closest to us to answer the above questions about us. Prayerfully consider their answers and make sure that you are "gracious" in your response :-)!

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The Trophy Wife

2009-06-03T10:13:00.001-07:00

I just started a new Bible Study by Beth Moore on Esther. Today I was reading about Queen Vashti and her refusal to literally be a "trophy wife" before the King and all his drunk guy friends. The king requests her presence so he can show her off and she says, "NO!" I can't say I blame her. It'd be like your husband having a bunch of guys over to watch a football game. They are all drinking and acting like dorks, when your husband calls you into the room and asks you to put on your old high school cheerleading outfit and perform a cheer for them. Just the thought of it makes me want to slap someone!

So the king is infuriated and calls together his closest friends and asks them what to do. The voice box of the groups says, "Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. For the queen's conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands...There will be no end of disrespect and discord." (Esther 1:16-17, 18)

I have to admit that this story makes me angry on so many levels. But along with that anger comes conviction. As a church planting wife I am an example to other women. There's no way around it (I wish there was). Because of my "position" I am watched. If you are a church planting wife, the same holds true for you (or a pastor's wife, ministry leader, or pretty much any woman in some kind of leadership capacity). Queen Vashti's behavior had an affect on the women of her day. So much so that they made a law in response to her behavior that "all women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest." (Esther 1:20)

How many times have I done something that totally disrespects my husband in front of others? How many times have I said something that completely cuts him down while others are listening? Unfortunately, when I act like a jerk and other people are watching or listening it has an impact on them. Whether they verbalize it or not, someone is probably thinking, "I can't believe she just said that!" or worse yet, "Jen talks to her husband that way. Why can't I?"

I'm not saying that we have to be perfect and act like robot slaves to our husbands (or prance around for our husband's friends...yuck). I'm just saying that given the choice I would rather be a positive example to women than a negative one.

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I Need Some Help!

2009-06-02T13:10:00.001-07:00

I've been praying about what my ministry will look like in Vegas. How will I best be used by God here? Every time I pray about it "broken women" keeps coming up. It makes sense because there are so many women here who are broken, and also because this is what my background and ministry experience is in. I'm praying about getting my Master's Degree at UNLV in the area of counseling, social work, etc.

Here's where I need your help!Edit

1. Can you recommend any ministries that deal with broken women that have volunteer opportunities in Las Vegas?

2. If you have a Master's Degree in Psychology, Counseling, Social Work, etc., can you tell me what degree you have and what sort of job options are open to people with that degree?

3. Would you please pray for me and for direction and clarity?

Thanks!!!!

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A Real Important Day

2009-05-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

I love old people. The older you are, the more I love you. I took Marissa to an assisted living home every week for almost 4 years. The only bad situation I've had is with my brother-in-law's 90 year old uncle. I met him at my sister's wedding and he told me about his Playboy subscription and then flirtatiously said, "I will see you in my dreams tonight!" After vomiting in my mouth, I quickly ran away from him!

I sat with Vince and Dawson during the 12:00pm service at Kensington Community Church this past Sunday. There were two empty seats between me and a very old man. Because it was Memorial Day, they did a tribute to people in the military. They sang a beautiful song and showed tons of touching black and white images of the military.

Because of my love for old people, it wasn't surprising to me that my attention was fixed on the old man next to me. He sat slumped in his chair, looking sad and depressed. The deep sadness showed in his eyes. His wife put her hand over his. I was sure he had served in the military because of the way the images and song were affecting him. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I imagined his life and the pain that he had endured. The friends he had lost. The experiences of war that had stuck with him.

Things got weird when all of a sudden I pictured Jesus sitting in the empty seat next to the old man with His arm around him saying, "I've been with you through it all." I was brought to tears. And then I pictured Jesus saying to me, "Can you tell him that for me?" I thought I lost my mind. Did I faint or something? What was happening? Like I'm going to walk up to this total stranger and tell him that Jesus has a message for him! AWKWARD!

After debating with myself during Vince's whole sermon, I decided that I would talk to the old man.

After the service ended I took a deep breath and sat next to the old man and told him the whole story. His eyes got full of tears and he said, "Thank you." We talked for a while and he told me that after attending church for most of his life, he finally understood God's love for him. He said that Vince's sermon was so easy to understand and that he finally got it! He thanked me again for passing on the message from God and said, "Today is a real important day in my life."

He bought one of Vince's books after the service and had me sign it. I wrote, "I've been with you through it all" and dated it.

It was seriously one of the most powerful experiences of my life. I'm so glad that I decided to talk to him. I'm so glad that I listened to God and stepped way out of my comfort zone. Just like that old man, it was a real important day in my life.

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Weekend Update!

2009-05-26T11:13:00.001-07:00

We had a great trip to Michigan this weekend. We got to hang out with Chuck and Juli Cason, two of our best friends from VA Beach. They adopted 3 year-old twins from Haiti and they are a riot! They also have a 9-month old baby who is adorable. I loved watching my kids interact with the twins. They were so encouraging and helpful; totally putting the twins above themselves and their comfort. They had the best attitudes!

Vince preached at Kensington Community Church 4 times this weekend. We also got to spend time with the McGlassion family from Paradox church and Nick and Amy Boring from Kensington.

Detroit reminds me a lot of Buffalo, NY, where I grew up. The city is totally run-down, the population is diminishing, and they both have easy access to Canada. Because of the Canadian connection they both have Tim Hortons Donuts! This is big plus for me because of my love for peanut donuts. I had about 10 this weekend!!!!

One of the highlights of the weekend was actually seeing green grass and trees! I miss the color green so much!

Our flight home was a mess. I was near vomiting the last part of the trip. We had a launch team pool party scheduled at our house at 5pm. We arrived home at 5:30pm. This wasn't a very good plan. All I wanted to do was jump in bed, but instead I had to play hostess with the most-est! Upon entering the house, several kids came up to me screaming, "Kuma (our dog) has human poop all over his face! He was drinking out of the toilet bowl and someone didn't flush, so he got poop all over his face!" I wanted to run out of the house screaming. Don't even get me started on why there was poop in my toilet.

Do you ever have a time like this, where you have to make a conscience decision to have a good attitude? Where you have to choose to ignore yourself and put other people ahead of you? It's sounds easy in theory, but actually doing it is a little more difficult.

I sort of succeeded. I put on a happy face for about 1 1/2 hours and then couldn't take it anymore so I took a nap on the couch while people watched the game (I have an amazing ability to sleep anywhere, anytime. It's awesome!).

I realized this morning that I need to have a better attitude. Next weekend we have the same exact situation to go through. We will be in California and will arrive home around 5pm, right when our launch team meeting starts at our house. I'm going to pray that God gives me a whole new attitude (an attitude like Dawson and Marissa had with the twins), that I will have a hospitable heart, and that I will view the situation in a more positive way...and that Kuma doesn't have poop on his face when I get home.

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Michigan Bound!

2009-05-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

Vince is preaching at Kensington Church in Troy, Michigan this weekend. Kensington is one of the main churches that's supporting us. Vince has been traveling a lot lately and they graciously invited me and the kids to join him. We try to go with him whenever he drives somewhere, but because of the price of airfare, we rarely go with him when he flies.

So, not only did they pay for us to come with him, but they are putting us up in a hotel that has an indoor waterpark! And to make it even better, two of our best friends from Virginia Beach just happen to be visiting family in Michigan this weekend! YEAH!

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Dig A Little Deeper

2009-05-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

As a church planting wife, I meet tons of people. Some are awesome and others take a little more grace and patience to be around! Let's be honest, we all come across people that really annoy us. They act in ways that get under our skin. They make us say things like, "Seriously?" and run in the opposite direction.

It's stinking hot here and for some reason Dawson won't wear shorts. We keep asking him why and he says things like, "I forgot" or "I'm cold" and on and on. One day I told him to put some shorts on and he put jeans on instead. I sat him down and asked him why he keeps wearing pants. I finally figured it out...he has a small wart on his knee. It's so small that you wouldn't even notice, but for him it's an embarrassment. We were getting so annoyed with him, when all it took was a short conversation to get behind the mystery of the pants!

Vince's mentor, Dean Trune, was in town this weekend. He did some teaching for our launch team that was life-changing for me and others. One of the things he talked about was this concept of digging deeper.

He said that if someone offends us we tend to avoid them. We don't invite them to our homes, we pray that we don't see them in public, etc. But what if we look at the situation differently? What if we see that person as having a need in his or her life that God wants us to fill? Wow...that really convicted me.

So what if that annoying girl really just needs someone to listen to her? What if that arrogant guy in your office is having marriage trouble or is really depressed? How can you help? What has God done in your life that makes you the perfect person to help him or her? How can you meet a need in that person's life?

So the next time you are tempted to run ask God to make it obvious to you how you can help, and ask Him to help you to see the big picture behind the person's behavior. I bet you'll be happy that you stayed.

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Update!

2009-05-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Life has been crazy here in Las Vegas. Vince has been traveling a lot trying to raise funds for Verve. The economy is really hurting us, but God is definitely providing despite the recession.

Dawson turned 10 and invited 6 friends for a swimming sleepover! It's such an answer to prayer that he has made friends and is adjusting so well (he's my shy guy).

Our launch team continues to grow. Several people are joining us who already live in Vegas and two more people from Forefront will be here by next week. We're having our first Verve baptism sometime in the next few weeks!

I'm still looking for a job. I send between one and three resumes out a day and haven't even received a phone call back. It's so frustrating because I have a bachelor's degree and 15 years of work experience. I can't even get Target to hire me!

I hope you have an awesome Mother's Day!

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I Need Some Help!

2009-05-02T10:02:00.000-07:00

Dawson and Marissa are 7 and 10 now. Since they've been little I've done a daily bible study time with them. We've done all kinds of things from arts & crafts to Bible memorization, devotions and straight bible reading.

I'm wondering what you do with your kids. How do you teach them the Bible? Do you have any fun or out-of-the-box ideas that you can share?

My kids' relationship with God is the most important thing in my life. I just want to make sure that I'm doing the best I can!

Thanks!

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Water

2009-04-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

Living in the desert definitely has it's drawbacks. Everyone keeps telling us that if we don't drink enough water we will get dehydrated. Headaches, lethargy, and fainting are common signs of dehydration. I'm not a huge water drinker so this is bad news for me.

I was lying in bed the other day with a slamming headache (yeah, yeah, I know!). Vince was working next to me (do your husband's work in their beds too? It's so weird!) listening to iTunes on his computer. A popular Christian song came on that I've heard a million times before by Tenth Avenue North called "Love is Here." I was half listening when I heard these lyrics:

Come to the water
You who thirst
And you'll thirst no more

Here's the progression of thoughts that I had:

I'm spiritually thirsty.
You're thirsty because you're not drinking enough water.
I'm not doing the things I know I need to do to get filled up.
You're not drinking the water that's available to you.
You're having spiritual side-effects from dehydration.
God, forgive me for not drinking your water.
Forgive me for looking to other things to fill me up and quench my thirst.
Please change me!

I wonder if you can relate.

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Who Are You?

2009-04-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like your husband is your roommate? Are you like me and sometimes have to read your husband's blog to find out what's going on in his life? Maybe your main form of communication with him is by email, the phone or twitter. Or maybe you don't talk at all.

Between Vince's travel schedule, out-of-town visitors, baseball, dance, meetings, launch team stuff, and life in general we barely have time to talk. When we do finally get the chance to sit down by ourselves it's either too late and I'm exhausted or there is so much to talk about that we end up not talking about anything (I hate when that happens!!!).

Years ago a marriage counselor told us that we should spend 30 minutes of uninterrupted couple time together each day. For some reason that seemed easier to do before we moved here.

I've heard enough from the experts to know that you have to be proactive in making your marriage a priority. You should go on weekly date nights, go away together for an overnight or two each year, and plan uninterrupted daily time too.

A few weeks ago I surprised Vince with an overnight trip to a hotel on the Strip. We saw a show, went out to dinner, etc. It was awesome! The only problem was that once we got home the busyness and chaos of our lives returned.

Being married to a church planter is tough at times. Starting a new church is exhausting. We're pulled in a million different directions.

So here's where you fit in: How do you keep your marriage a priority? What do you do to work against the chaos of life? What are some lessons you've learned? Please share some practical tips and suggestions in the comment section. We could all use your advice!

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To Work Or Not To Work...That Is The Question

2009-04-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't worked outside of the house since 2001. I'm the type of girl who is content to never work again. So I found it strange when I got the idea to find a part-time job.

When we moved to Virginia Beach in 1997 to start Forefront I worked full-time. We didn't have kids and I really enjoyed working. My son was born in 1999 and I continued to work part-time until I got pregnant with my daughter in 2001. I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since.

Now that I'm unpacked and settled in, I'm getting antsy. The kids are in school all day. It's not like I'm bored; my days are jam-packed. I think the issue is people. I feel like I would get to meet people more easily if I got a job. When you're stuck with people at work it's easy to build relationships.

Here's the problem: I only want to work while the kids are in school, no nights or weekends. The odds of someone hiring me is slim, but I've decided to go for it anyway. I'm only applying at my favorite places to shop: Ann Taylor Loft, Target, Kohl's, Bath and Body Works and Old Navy. My background is administrative, but I figured that it would be hard to get a part-time job in an office.

Please pray for me! I'm still not even sure this is a good idea.

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Sanctified

2009-04-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'm not a fan of religious sounding words. I grew up in a Catholic church and never understood the vernacular. When I hear words like, "Sanctified" I cringe a little because I assume that no one understands and that non-Christians are scared to death!

I'm in the middle of a Beth Moore study called, "A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place." I did this study years ago, but she revised it so I thought I'd give it another shot.

Today's study is centered around "Sanctification". The idea of sanctification (in case you don't know) is that as Christians we are set-apart from the world. In John 17:13-21 Jesus talks about Christians being sanctified, "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." (verses 15-18)

This study has given me a lot to think about, especially in light of living in Las Vegas. The idea that I live in the world, but that I'm not of the world, can be challenging for me. Life in Las Vegas is different than any other place I've lived; everything here is glamorized and flashing in neon.

I'm going to shut up and let Beth do the rest of the talking..

"We are the light of the world! We cannot hide our lampstands under the bushels of spiritual monasteries. Yet we cannot let the darkness rub off on us. How do we accomplish such a balance? The answer is found in Matthew 10:16: 'I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.'

God never called us to naivete. He called us to integrity. There is a very big difference between the two. The biblical concept of integrity emphasizes mature innocence, not childlike ignorance. Like Paul, we must be aware of what is out there before we walk into the middle of it. Like Paul, we must recognize situations that demand an extra degree of consecration, preparation, and protection.

Sanctification is not about long hair and abstinence. It is about purity-purity maintained in the midst of an impure world. Understand this vital precept: Maintaining purity in ministry is the result of nothing less than deliberate devotion. For those really fulfilling their calling of evangelism and ministry, purity is neither easy nor accidental. We must guard our minds and put on our armor. A war rages out there. And we are Satan's favorite prisoner."

She ends the lesson with some very good questions. Take a minute and think these through:

1. What do you deliberately avoid for the sake of purity?

2. How do others know you are set apart to God?

3. If you have children, what habits toward purity are you helping instill in them?

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Launch Team Meetings

2009-03-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

We've starting having weekly launch team meetings at my house. It's so cool to see how God has worked in each person to bring them to Verve. Everyone has a different story, but we all have a common passion and desire to start this church. It's been great to get to know these people and do ministry and life with them.

I had a massive stomach virus last week. I thought I was going to die! On Friday night we had an event at our house called "Vervalicious." It's something we're doing for people who might be interested in joining our launch team. 13 people were there and it went great.

I am normally a very organized, on-top-of-it kind of girl. Unfortunately, I had been sick as a dog and so it was a little chaotic, to say the least. I didn't really start feeling good until about 2 hours before Vervalicious. Thankfully we had lots of help with cooking and preparations! It was still extremely stressful, though.

Do you ever have one of those days where you just don't want people to come over to your house? (Some of you are saying, "I NEVER want people to come to my house!") Let me just be honest with you for a minute...me and entertaining have a bittersweet relationship.

On one hand, I know how important it is to have people in my home and I do enjoy it in small doses. I believe that inviting people into your home is biblical and important, and not just for people in ministry. But sometimes I just don't like it. The cleaning up before and after is enough to drive me crazy. Hospitality isn't exactly one of my strongest gifts. And then there's the annoying dog (who always ends up eating someone's food). After Vervalicious, Kuma casually strolled into the living room with an entire piece of pizza in his mouth. And at yesterday's launch team meeting I had to literally wrestle a piece of food out of his mouth (while wearing a skirt!).

As church planting wives it's nearly impossible for us to NOT have people in our homes. It seems like entertaining is part of the job description.

I want to here your stories about this. Do you like it or hate it? Do you have any funny stories to share? Has God convicted you about opening up your home? Do you have suggestions for those of us who hate this part of the job? Thanks for sharing!!!!

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Burdened

2009-03-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

I was shopping a few weeks ago at Kmart. I normally don't go in there, but they sent me a coupon and I'm a sucker for a bargain. As I was checking out I noticed a little girl sitting by herself. She was maybe 8 at the oldest. I watched her for a while, trying to figure out why she was sitting alone (I love CSI and am always trying to solve a mystery). I started walking toward her and quickly realized why she was alone. Her mom was sitting at a slot machine (yes, they do have slot machines in Kmart). The area was glassed off and the little girl wasn't allowed inside, so mom left her alone while she chased a dream of financial prosperity.

We had lunch with a couple that are foster parents of an 18-month old girl. They had gotten the baby when she was 3 months old. She has 5 other siblings, all of whom have been sexually molested by their parents and each other. They share STDs and cannot be placed in the same home because the only way they relate to each other is sexually.

I'm reading a book right now called, "Chasing Fireflies." One of the main characters is a little boy who has been abused repeatedly. His body is covered in scars and sores. He doesn't speak, and quite frankly who could blame him?

I was leaving Chuck E Cheese on Monday night. A woman was there with her two small children and her mother. I watched in horror as mom and Grandma yelled at the kids, kicked them, and called them names I wouldn't even call an enemy. Mom was infuriated because one of the boys was crying. I think I would be crying too. The icing on the cake was when the smaller boy, no older than 3, repeatedly said, "F*?# You!" to his mom. It didn't even phase her.

I share all this because I am burdened. My heart is broken for these children. I am provoked to anger because of the sin and carelessness of their parents and caregivers. It is nearly impossible for me to understand the reasoning behind it. The only thing I do understand is that in most cases, the abusers are themselves victims of abuse. It's generational sin to the millionth degree. It's years of abuse that define and create abusers.

Beth Moore has a brilliant study called, "Breaking Free." In it she talks about generational sin and how we can work against it in our lives. With God we can stop the lines of alcoholism, anger, over-eating, lying, gambling, holding grudges, etc. that have been present in our families for generations. I highly recommend it.

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The Last One!!!!

2009-03-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

Finally...the last box has been unpacked! It's a monumental moment in the Antonucci house. We are finally moved in!

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Ugly Betty

2009-03-24T11:19:00.001-07:00

When I was in the middle of sixth grade we moved. I went from being a social, fun, popular girl to a total loser in about 24 hours. The new school I attended wasn't very accepting of new students. I felt alone, out of place and in need of a friend.

I took Marissa to Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party last night. The party was for a girl in her class and of course I knew no one. I desperately wanted to leave, but Marissa begged me not to. I sat down with a bunch of moms. They said, "Hi" to me but quickly went back to their private conversations. I felt a lot like I did in sixth grade. I began to text Vince, "This is HORRIBLE! No one is talking to me. I'm trying to make conversation and people won't talk to me...ugh!" Vince replied, "Sorry! Do they all know each other?" I write, "Apparently. I feel like the new kid at school...the ugly new kid with body odor and braces!" My sweet, caring and sensitive husband replies, "Sorry. I'll buy you deodorant."

I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and went up to the counter to buy a drink. I strolled around for a while and finally walked back to the group of moms (I thought it would be weird if I sat on the other side of the restaurant by myself). This time I chose a different seat across from a woman who was sitting by herself.

It turns out that she lives in my neighborhood. Her son is in my daughter's class and she is going through a divorce. It was amazing how quickly she began telling me about her marriage. She recounted years of not communicating, boredom and finally an affair. They worked through the affair, but after a year he decided that he didn't want to be married to her anymore. They broke the news to their 7 year-old yesterday.

Looking back I'm so glad that my parents moved us to a new town. Yes, I was popular but I had some questionable friends and I wasn't exactly the type who wouldn't follow them into deviance. I eventually made some new friends and lost my "Ugly Betty" status.

In the same way I'm glad that I went to Chuck E Cheese. It totally sucked at the beginning, but I'm so glad that I stuck it out. Otherwise I never would have had the opportunity to minister to that woman.

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Friends

2009-03-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest parts of this move has been leaving my friends. I have such an amazing group of girls in Virginia Beach that I miss dearly (including my best friend of 13 years!).

Making new friends is so hard! Beginning a new relationship, though rewarding, can also be a pain in the butt. You have to establish everything from where you grew up to what you like to do for fun. It takes time and effort. If I'm being honest some days I don't even want to put forth the effort; it's too draining.

Thank God for cell phones, email and facebook. Keeping in touch isn't nearly as difficult as it used to be. Sometimes I just want to be with the person, though. Snuggling up with a blanket on a couch and talking for hours seems more appealing to me than typing out my feelings.

I've begun to make some friends here. There are several girls that I'm beginning to connect with, including a mom from baseball and my neighbor.

On those days that I don't want to put forth the effort I need to remind myself that all my close Virginia Beach friends started out as new relationships. I had to put time and effort into building friendships with those girls. It's hard to remember, but they were once strangers.

Lord Alfred Tennyson said, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." I say, "TOTALLY!" My life is better because of the relationships I have. And it's totally worth the effort to make new relationships!

So bring on the strangers; soon they will be amazing friends that I can't imagine not having in my life!

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Update

2009-03-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd give you an update of some cool things that are going on:

1. Our Launch Team participated in "First Friday," an art festival in downtown Las Vegas. We collected money at the entrance and did a live art piece called, "Renewal" (see picture). It was very cool.

2. I got my first Las Vegas haircut! I was very scared and apprehensive, but it turned out well. The shop was awesome and the girl who cut my hair was fantastic. She was in NYC last weekend because one of her clients is April's Playboy Playmate. She followed her around and did her hair and makeup all weekend. The whole shop is filled with skulls, tattoos and people who totally fit our target audience. I was able to share what we're doing, and she listened with enthusiasm. I'm excited to build a relationship with her.

3. Vince and I started marriage counseling. This move has been rough on both of us. Our relationship isn't horrible, but it's not great either. We decided to meet with a counselor because we don't want to settle for an "OK" marriage. I share this to encourage you. Being married can be difficult, and if we don't stay on top of things it can get ugly. Starting a new church and working in ministry can rob us of healthy, happy marriages. In order for us to have healthy churches and families we need to have healthy marriages. If you've thought about going to see a counselor, but have never scheduled the appointment, get on it right now!

Seriously...pick up the phone and make an appointment!

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