Thoughts from the delirious mind

Heart of Black

2009-07-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

Since I met my hubby approximately 16.5 years ago we have joked about the fact that he's dead inside, has a little black heart, no feelings, etc. I'm telling you right here and now that's not true. He is a ~~sensitive caring~~ tough guy. The reason all this got started was because I never saw him cry, and we were having a conversation about that one day many years ago. Tough guys don't cry, right?

Anyhoo, today we were talking about something totally unrelated, and he says, "Do you want to make me cry?" To which I responded, "Yes, I do." He laughed and muttered something about his shriveled, black heart. Could I leave it at that? Nooooooo. Instead I mentioned that didn't need an entire sensitive muscle, I'd be happy if he could just come up with a sensitive tendon in his body. Again he laughed. Do you see a pattern here?

Sometimes you get a grounder, other times it's a grand slam.

2009-07-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

Being a parent isn't easy. No one ever said it would be. It is one of the most challenging, and sometimes unrewarding things you can do, and you never quite know if you're doing it right. Most of us strive to help our children grow into ~~the adults we wish we were~~ the best adults they can be.

Why am I waxing poetic on this? Because yesterday I felt like I hit a grand slam. Not a grounder, not a base hit, not even a homerun, but a bonified grand slam. Most of you know that things have been tight here, and I've been losing hours at work. Recently this means that we're cutting back on some of the "necessities" of life like vacations, summer camps for the kids, science classes, and art classes. We've also been scrimping to find money to pay utility bills, rent, and for car repairs. Amazingly, none of my kids have complained about all this, though Sam and Riley have been packing their bags for Disneyland for over a week now. I've been trying to explain to them that we are not going, but I don't think they quite get it. They offered to give me the money from their coin banks to pay for the trip. So sweet, but I'm digressing. Back to the topic at hand.

Yesterday, on Facebook, my oldest posted a message saying she was doing something nice for her Mommy. In my mind I thought this meant she was going to dye her hair back to a uniform color, she got some shirts that covered a bit more of her skin, or that she was bringing me something simple like a piece of dark chocolate. Boy was I surprised when I found out what she had done. She had taken our car in to the shop on her time, and with her own money, and had the brakes repaired. I know she probably wanted a bigger response than what she got when she arrived home, but I didn't want to get all sappy and cry on her, so I thought I'd write it here instead. This was a fabulous thing for her to do, and really makes me feel like some of my parenting might be paying off. Or could it just be that she got here on her own? Either way, I'm very proud, pleased, and happy with her, and not just because I have brakes again, but because of the wonderfulness of her kind act and her thoughtfulness for another person. Thank you sweetie. I love you.

All I want for Christmas...

2009-06-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

Despite all my fears of not being ready Sam did indeed lose her first tooth. Not only did she lose her first tooth, but 2 days later she lost her second tooth. By lost, I mean lost. Gone. Never to be seen again.

Saturday, June 27th was a busy day for our family. We started the day by celebrating a friends 5th birthday party rollerskating in Santa Cruz. The girls started out with their wheels locked, but soon had to have them loosened to roll, and roll they did.

After the birthday party we headed to my sisters house for some fun in the sun, a little swimming in the pool, and a belated Father's Day celebration with my Dad. It was here, about halfway through the event, that I suddenly noticed a gap in Sam's smile. I had been watching those teeth like a hawk since we first noticed that there were 2 loose teeth, and yet somehow I missed the escape of that first tooth. She had been in the pool the entire time, so we are fairly certain that is where it was lost (we think when her and Riley crashed into one another on the rafts.) We donned swim goggles, and spent a good deal of time searching the bottom of the pool to no avail. Sam was distressed that the tooth fairy would not come because the tooth was gone. We assured her that the tooth fairy would find it for her.

Skip ahead to Monday, June 29th. I had a meeting to attend for my twins group GeminiCrickets, so off to my parents house they went for some more fun time in their pool. I got back just in time to pack them in the car and head to their afternoon swim lessons. I thought that the gap in Sam's mouth was a little bigger, but didn't have time to investigate. After lessons were over I had her do the obligatory open mouth presentation, and sure enough tooth number two was gone.

I HAD MISSED HER FIRST TWO TEETH. How could this happen? Not only ws I oblivious to her losing the teeth, but she was too. She had no idea they were gone until I mentioned it. I'm attaching an alarm to tooth number three! I will not miss another one.

In the end Sam dictated a letter to the tooth fairy, then she signed it, drew a picture of her mouth with arrows pointing to the 2 missing teeth, put it in an envelope along with a picture of her without her teeth. Then she tucked it under her pillow with one corner peeking out so the Tooth Fairy would know it was there. The Tooth Fairy will reciprocate.

My Amazing Girls

2009-06-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

The title of this post could very well be written by any one of you substituting the "Girls" with an appropriate word of your choice such as boys, kids, spouse, dogs, cats, etc. Why use that title then? Because that's how I feel right this very minute.

As some of you know I stay home with the kids during the week, and work on the weekends. This means we don't get much family time together. The days I work I don't see the girls much, and i miss them terribly. This weekend I was able to work 3 nights which was great for the ol' checking account, but hard on the Mommy. This morning I was exhausted when I got home, so I got a quick hug, kiss, and cuddle from each of the girls, and then headed off to bed. Later today I was awoken by 2 kisses, 2 hugs, and 2 cuddles followed by requests to read with them. We spent the next 2 hours cuddled up in bed reading books. It was the best "Saturday morning" ever.

I'm sure that all of you can relate to the nice cozy feeling of being with your amazing "others" which is why I say, "Any of you could have written this."

Endings lead to new beginnings

2009-06-01T01:11:00.000-07:00

Friday the girls "graduated" from preschool. I could stop right there since that was the end of a story. A story of growth, development, independence, and letting go while still hanging on. However, it is also the beginning of a new story, one that I'm sure will expand on the previous tale.

My girls did not go to daycare. They did not go to preschool at an early age. For a long time I was determined to homeschool them in order to maintain our own schedule, their individual learning curve, and yes, a bit of control over what they're exposed to on my part. This past year I made the decision to go back to school for my masters (I haven't yet, but that's another story.) In order to accomplish that the girls would have to attend school. I spent a short amount of time exploring preschools near our house (distance was a factor), and finally selected one that may not have been at the top of other people's list, but gave me the warm fuzzies. I was not let down. The teachers are enthusiastic and truly care about the kids and their development. To say they are fabulous is an understatement. More importantly, the girls loved it. We didn't have a transition period as I feared. My greatest threat the past 9 months has been, "If you don't do "blank" then you're not going to school today". Let me tell you, they would snap to, and do whatever it was that needed getting done whether it was getting dressed, finishing their lunch without playing around, or changing their attitude. Despite being in the same class they gained some independence from each other (and from me.) They learned many things this year, but the most important is their current love for school. I hope that it continues for a long time.

The new beginning starts in two weeks. Their new school hosts a summer school/camp for two weeks in the summer. We've decided to enroll the girls as they seem to be having a difficult time with the idea of actually leaving their beloved preschool and moving on. They want to take their teachers with them. The good thing is that I also get that warm, fuzzy feeling from their kindergarten teacher, so I'm hoping the transition goes well. After the summer program we have about a month and a half off, and then elementary school (yikes, elementary school) begins along with the rigid schedules, homework, and even more independence that I was dreading. I'm sure it will be fine. I'm also sure that I will cry the first day of school as they run off to begin a new life, one without me there at their side.

If wishes were horses...

2009-05-28T02:21:00.000-07:00

I wish I were a better writer.

Every 5 year old should have a bachelor/ette party

2009-05-20T22:04:00.001-07:00

The past few months the girls have been begging us to try some new foods and to eat with their hands. While the two were not related I thought that combined they would make for a good, new experience. As a result, I started looking around for a Morrocan restaurant. I asked a few friends and as it turned out one of them had recently dined at such a place in San Francisco, El Mansour. She wanted to eat there again, and started recruiting people to join us.

Tonight was the night that we could all make it, so we piled in cars and met up in the city. The girls were thrilled with the concept, and excited that the day was here. Upon arrival we were immediately seated at a low table surrounded by low couches and "tuffets". While I should have seen the disaster coming, I did not. Tuffets plus two 5 year olds equals one very "active" dinner
with many reminders that we were indeed in a restaurant and needed to behave accordingly. Overall, IMHO, other than expanding our dining space to include the vacant tables next to us, they were pretty good, especially for such a prolonged dinner.

The start of the experience began with handwashing where they bring out a large brass tureen and pitcher and pour nice warm water over your hands. The girls thought this step was great, and lots of fun. Sam even required a solo washing. Soon after came the bread which was passed around between every course. Better grab extra though, because this is what you use to pick up your food, and they don't leave any on the table. The bread was followed each time by something new, soup, a veggie platter with uniquely cooked and spiced treats, some sort of puff pastry appetizer that Riley devoured, the main course, belly dancing, and dessert which was more puff pastry yumminess and fried bananas. The girls seemed to enjoy most, if not all of the food.

The belly dancing, however, is where the bachelorette party started. The dancer came out, did a short dance then brought Riley up to dance with her. Sam refused, but held on tightly to the scarf the dancer gave her. Riley did a great job copying everything that the dancer did,
and had me in tears of glee throughout. She was so serious about the whole thing, and was really paying attention to what the dancer was showing her. After her turn was done, the dancer moved on to other tables to dance with their occupants. At this point I was pretty sure
we were all done. Nothing could be further from the truth.

After performing for each table, she made her way back towards the kitchen where the manager put a dollar in her shirt strap giving everyone a clue as to how they should tip her. Members of our party gave the girls dollars for the dancer, which I thought was really nice...until they
delivered them. I mistakenly assumed (I know, I know) that they would hand her the dollars, she would say thank you, and they would sit back down. Oh noooooo. She held out her waistband and let them tuck the dollars in. They were very entertained by it all. I, however, was mortified. My girls had unknowingly had their first bachelorette party.

The life cycle of a yellow dinosaur cake

2009-05-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a woman that had some sense of sanity, that's gone now. That woman would be me. About 4 months ago Valerie, my Goddaughter, requested a dinosaur cake for her birthday. Not just any dinosaur cake, but a yellow dinosaur cake. This is the story of that cake.

Month one, contemplate the many ways of creating a yellow dinosaur cake. 3D solution comes to mind, rejected as ridiculous.

Month two, contemplation continues. 2D solution formulated, 3D version continues to inject itself into the forefront of thought.

Month three, out damn spot. 3D idea not cooperating.

Month four, give into idea, acknowledge plans in back of head, begin formulating exactly how to achieve the vision.

Week of May 11th:

Collect all ingredients. The list was impressive, so I thought I'd share.

25 cups of flour, approximately 6lbs

22.5 tsp Baking Powder

7 tsp Salt

38 sticks of butter (yes, you read that right)

15.75 cups Granulated Sugar

20 cups Powdered Sugar (approximately 6 lbs)

17 tbsp Vanilla Extract

13.5 cups Whole Milk

16 tbsp Heavy Cream

18 Large Eggs

5 lbs Fondant

and a partridge in a pear tree (just checking to see if you're still reading.)

All of these were used over the course of 3 days to make nine 10x13 cakes which were then stacked using buttercream in between the layers to make one very large cake. The challenge here was using a very old, inconsistent oven. The cakes go in, get rotated halfway through, then come out. During this process I would check the thermometer in the oven and I was getting readings ranging from 300 degrees F to 360 (it was supposed to be 350 throughout.) This meant that I got 2 cakes which seemed to come out fine, 4 which were underdone in the middle (and rather dense), and 3 that were a bit overdone, but not too bad. Despite all this, the easy part was done.

Once I had them stacked, I began the carving. It was kind of like giving yourself a haircut. A little more off this side, oops, now a little more off that side. Why is one foot the size of mine, and the other 3 are the size of a 9 month old? How exactly do you carve a curving tail? I ended up with something that looked more like lizard roadkill than a dinosaur. Perhaps this was just because it didn't even come close to the picture in my head.

Once it was carved, it had to be coated with buttercream so the fondant would stick. Then the kneading of color into the fondant, rolling of the fondant, and application commenced. This process went okay, only created 2 holes, and sort of patched those. Details were added and the whole thing was slipped into my refridgerator on the wonderful board that Andrea got for this purpose (acquisition was not easy.)

Final stats:

Wt. of cake before carving - 32 lbs

Wt. of completed cake - 30lbs

Happiness of one 3 year old - total.

The best Mother's Day present ever (even if it was a little early)

2009-05-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

While in Disneyland this past week we got the girls cupcakes (more expensive and less tasty than Kara's or Sprinkles) for their birthday. The cupcakes came complete with little Minnie Mouse rings that the girls just loved. Riley wore hers all day. Sam was a little "busier" with her ring. It was on her finger, off her finger, carried tightly in her fist, and yes, left on tables, benches, rides, etc. This is probably because Minnie Mouse is her favorite character. She just couldn't stop looking at it.

At the end of the day, we made a stop by the little potties in the child care center. It was here that Sam discovered her beloved Minnie ring was missing. All day she had been a little under the weather, and none of us had had much sleep the last two days, so she (and the rest of us) were just exhausted. Upon discovering the loss Sam just crumpled into a sad little heap on the floor and cried. As I was trying to comfort her and assure her that we would try to find the ring Riley walked up. Very sweetly, she took off her Minnie Mouse ring and presented it to Sam saying, "Here Sam, you can have my Minnie Ring". She then gave Sam a very gentle and loving pat on the shoulder. Sam responded with, "That's ok Riley, that's your ring, you should keep it." At this moment in time I could not keep the tears out of my eyes. Thankfully they didn't notice.

I could not have been more proud of my girls. This was definitely better than any Mother's Day gift I could hope to receive.

Twin thoughts

2009-05-03T03:05:00.000-07:00

With the girls 5th birthday fast approaching I've had some deep moments of reflection, regret, happiness, sorrow, joy, and general contemplation. 5 years ago I had no idea what I was in for, and I now know that unless you've experienced it yourself you can't come close to understanding what it's like to have two totally unique individuals growing up in your home that just happen to have the same birth date. Wondering if I'm doing the right thing often keeps me up late at night, and in this case caused me to get out of bed at 2:00 A.M. to record some of these thoughts, incoherent as they may be.

When they were first born, and even to present day, I had many people tell me how much alike they looked. I never saw that. To me they always looked very different, starting with their weight. They were born a whopping 2 lbs. apart. Sam was 5 lbs 5 oz while Riley was 7 lbs 7 oz. Until this year they maintained that weight difference within half a pound. For the first time they are the same weight and height, but I think that this is about to change again. They were both blonde but Riley had a nice head of hair while Sam was nearly bald. They both had riveting blue eyes but Riley's were a deep cerulean blue while Sam's were more of a penetrating steel blue. The list of visual differences goes on and on. I could understand other people's confusion though, they didn't know them like I did.

The differences go beyond appearances though. I can see them across a playground and know by the way they run which one it is. More importantly though, I know who they are with my eyes closed. I know when they creep into my bed in the morning which one it is that has curled up on my left and which one on my right by the way they snuggle. I know whose hand I'm holding just by the feel. I can pat a tushie or rub a tummy in the dark and know just who it belongs to. I can tell the difference by the bend of their ear, the curve in their nose, or the line of their lips. They're unique from the shape and feel of their heads down to their cute little toes, one set chubby, one long and thin.

The way they interact with the world around them is also very different and ever changing. I could never say one is dominant, aggressive, outgoing, quiet, shy, or withdrawn. I can clearly say that they each carry these traits within them, and they come out at the most unexpected times. One moment one of them will walk right up to a new person and say, "Hello. Do you want to play with me?" The next day it will be the other one to perform this miracle of childhood. Is that to say they're interchangeable on any given day? Never. Even with the same act, they handle it very differently. One will generally jump right into the center of any social situation and soak up the energy of the moment, the other is more comtemplative, will observe and evaluate before making the same leap. Other times Mommy's coat tails are not quite big enough to hide behind. Many of my friends have come up with cute monikers to describe the differences. I've been unable to do so. Thier names seem sufficient and we often use them to describe something such as, "That's so Riley" or "That's a Sam-ism" I know this is a no-no in the electronic world.

The most challenging part of this whole journey was not learning these things about a child, but learning them about two people who just happen to be the same developmental age at the same time. It's very different than learning it about one child at a time, not to lesson that experience by any means. Having raised a single child, the unique difficulties (and joys) of having two simultaneously have become clear. With one child there is a focus, a purpose, a challenge. With two children the focus is often split, the purpose unclear as it shifts from one to the other, and the challenges are exponentially multiplied. Trying to help them each grow as individuals, give them each the attention that they need, and teaching them how to live together yet be strong when they are apart have all become parts of this wild trip. For those of you with multiples you know that it stems from the first days trying to meet their individual needs for food, sleep, and clean diapers to learning to clap, crawl, walk, and use the potty to preparing them to face the world as individuals. Teaching them to share, to empathize and to sympathize with others but usually starting with their sibling who also didn't understand these concepts and had to learn. The big question that applies to any parent however, is, "Have I learned more from them than they learned from me?" My answer would have to be a resounding, "Yes!" They have taught me so much about who I am, and what's important to me. I thought I knew this already, but I have found that there is still much to learn.

As any parent out there, I can't yet tell if I'm having any level of success in encouraging them to follow their own path, or if they are the successful ones in making me believe that I have any control over it at all. I can only hope that together all of us will come out of this roller coaster ride of childhood with satisfaction, eagerness, and anticipation for the next adventure.

My ticking time bomb

2009-04-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, for those of you who don't know I was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm about a week and a half ago. The "cure" for it would have involved some form of brain surgery. "How was it found?" you might be asking yourself. I'll tell you.

Back when I had the girls you may (or may not) remember I had a Bell's Palsy. The last 6 months, some of the symptoms from that have been getting worse, more ptosis (drooping) of the eyelid, twitching of the eyelid, some vision changes, facial numbness, etc. I went back to the neurologist and he thought it might be a good idea to get an MRI to rule out any sort of brain abnormality that might have caused this. I know, I know, you're all thinking, "Of course she has an abnormal brain," or "She has a brain?" They were thinking medically not mentally. Now that we have that out of the way I can continue with my little saga. Anyhoo, the MRI showed what looked like a small aneurysm in my carotid (the major blood supply to the brain). An aneurysm is an area of a blood vessel that stretches out much like a balloon. If left untreated it grows and grows until an area of the vessel wall is so thin that it bursts much like an over-inflated balloon. The result is quite often death or severe brain damage, so as you can imagine, I was quite nervous. The next step was to get a CT angiogram which I did yesterday. In the mean time no physical activity for me, nothing to raise my BP, etc. Arrrgggg.

The CT angiogram was the strangest experience I've ever had in my life. I've had studies that used contrast before, but never like this. They inject it while you are being scanned and it immediately makes you feel hot. I could literally feel it travel around my body. I got an odd, almost metallic taste in my mouth and my mouth felt like it was full, like just before the dentist uses her magic wand on you to suck out all your saliva. Then, the oddest feeling of all. I got very hot down there, and it felt like I had wet my pants (I hadn't). All this occurred over about 20 seconds, and then it was gone. Sooooo weird.

So. Scan done. Now for the waiting. Thank goodness my neurologist is an early riser and a prompt responder. For both scans he has called me first thing in the morning the day after the scan. Now for the good news, which I'm sure you all have guessed by now, NO ANEURYSM!! Woo hoo, woo hoo, and woo hoo. Apparently it was just an odd twist of the vessel that created a large shadow that looked like an aneurysm on the MRI. You can't imagine the relief I feel. Big, huge weight lifted off my chest. As Andrea so accurately put it, I feel like jello about now.

Now, back to hockey for me. I'm playing Sunday!! Woo hoo!!

Happy 5 year blogiversary to me

2009-04-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

That's right folks, I've been blogging for 5 years now. I know it hasn't been as regular as it use to be, but maybe we can rectify that this blog year.

P.S. Happy Easter to y'all too!

It's been a long week around here

2009-03-27T02:39:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday both girls starting feeling bad, Friday they were pretty lethargic and Riley was complaining that her ear hurt. I put drops in it, gave them both some Tylenol and headed off to work leaving them in Bill's hands. Saturday and Sunday Riley stayed in bed all day voluntarily. Monday we headed to their doctor since they weren't getting any better. The diagnosis? They both had bronchitis and Riley had a bilateral ear infection. In addition to this Bill and Stacey both have sinus infections they're fighting off, and all 4 were on antibiotics, and Bill, Sam, and Riley are on inhalers. Do you know how hard it is to get a 4 year old to use an inhaler properly? Amidst all this I came down with a mild version of whatever plague is going around here.

Fast forward to today. Girls are up and playing, seem to be pretty healthy, Stacey is out and about, I'm feeling much better. Just Bill is still pretty sick, or so I thought. After going to bed tonight Sam came out crying about her ear hurting. Here we go again.

Since Andrea has blogged, I figure I should too

2009-03-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

As usual, a lot has happened since my last blog entry. Most of it I remember from photos I haven't yet uploaded (although that process has begun.)

The girls had pajama day at school. A wonderful day in which (in theory) I didn't have to get them dressed for school. In reality they had gymnastics in the morning, so they had to get dressed for that, then come home and get back in their pajamas for school. They thought going to school in their pj's was the best. They also got to read bedtime stories, have warm chocolate, "go to sleep" and then had pancakes when they "woke up." All in all, it was a great day for them.

My birthday this year happened to fall on the annual St. Patrick's day dinner hosted by our church. Normally my birthday is good, or at the very worst it's uneventful. This year truly stunk. There were many awful things that happened (that I won't go into here), but the end of the day turned things around a bit. The dinner was a lot of fun. I found out one of my friends daughters was/has been one of the Celtic dancers that perform every year. My entire family generally attends these things, and so they brought my cards and presents there. I was very lucky to recieve a quilt made special for me by my SIL, Deb.

St. Patrick's day the girls and Val helped make Shamrock cookies for their teachers at school. My parents had also given the girls a plethora of green holiday items for them to wear and consume. They looked quite cute and were very excited.

That brings us up to this past week. The girls have become very sick, Riley more so than Sam which varies from the norm. After 5 days without improvement (and some degeneration) I took the girls to the docs office. It turns out they both have bronchitis and Riley has an ear infection (both ears) to top it off. They were sent home with antibiotics and inhalers, and seem to be on the mend. After 3 days of being in bed (voluntarily), Riley is finally up and playing a bit though she still seems tired and lethargic. Sam is still pretty cuddily, but gaining more energy herself.

On a side note, Bill, Stacey, and I are also sick, but mending as well. We were suppose to be up at my parents condo in the snow this week, but finances and illness had other ideas.

This weekend is scheduled to be a 3 night (12 hours each) work extravaganza, so no hockey for me. However, it should be noted that that is only temporary. Thanks to my wonderful hockey peeps who got me registered, I will be skating summer season. Woo hoo and THANK YOU!

Spanish Algae

2009-02-17T17:43:00.002-08:00

This past weekend Bill noticed that a couple of our fish weren't doing so well, so he decided to go to the pet store and get some medicine. Since I was at the Vacaville tournament he took the girls with him. Once home it was time to medicate the tank. This was very interesting to Sam who had the following conversation with Bill:

Sam: What are those dots (pointing to the algae on the fishtank glass)
Bill: That's algae.
Sam: Algae? What's that? I've never seen algae before.
Bill: It's like a plant, kind of like moss, and it blooms.
Sam: Daddy, I don't speak spanish.

I hate to tell her this, but her Daddy doesn't speak Spanish either.

My weekend hockey report

2009-02-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

I played my first hockey tournament this weekend. The report is as follows:

Game 1 vs. Blacklist, we won 4-2, I was -2
Game 2 vs. The Northstars, we lost 0-2, I had neither a + or - for that game.
Game 3 vs. The Seals, we lost 0-9, I was -5 for the game
Game 4 vs. The Bucktooth Dolphins, we tied 3-3, our line was briefly +1, then they scored on us.

Of note, The Northstars and Seals both have unprofessional coaches. The Northstars coach kept yelling at his players to crush us, next time take them out harder, etc. The Seals coach made similar comments and to top it off was yelling at their team to kill us when they got a power play AND WERE ALREADY COMMANDING A 7 POINT SHUTOUT LEAD.

This was suppose to be a recreational tourney.

Despite all this we actually had a really good time. It was nice to start the tourney playing our Blacklist friends and to end it playing our buddies, the Bucktooth Dolphins.

A random post that's not about my kids

2009-01-27T14:56:00.001-08:00

OK, it's about my 4 legged kid. Apparently he felt like he should be sleeping with us last night. He also thought that he should bring his own bed with him. Yep, Harrison dragged his dog bed up on our bed last night to sleep. Mind you, this was no easy feat. It's big and bulky, and our bed is tall (the top of the mattress sits just above my hips.) Needless to say, it did not stay up there, and I had to change the sheets for the second time this week.

Lose a crystal, gain a better behaved preschooler

2009-01-13T15:57:00.000-08:00

It's taken me a few days to calm down enough to be able to semi-coherently write this post. Two days ago the girls got into my annual Swarovski crytal Christmas ornaments. I'm not sure if their original intent was just to play with them, but none the less they knew they were not supposed to touch them. Now I have to take a little responsibility here because they were left out waiting to be properly packed for next year. However, the girls had been told many times not to touch them, had verbalized to us that they were not to touch them, and had to get through all the other ornaments (which would have been okay to touch) to get to them. Somewhere along the way they decided they didn't like certain design elements (or like them enought that they wanted to keep them), so they started snapping things off. 10 years of ornaments gone in a flash.

As I was putting things away I walked around the table to suddenly notice a large empty space in the middle where the ornaments had once resided. I immediately called to Bill, "Did you put the Swarovski's away?" To which he replied in the negative. I started to look around and noticed 2 four year olds duck their heads and inch towards the exit. Then I looked down, and under the table, reflecting the light from the window, were the bodies and dismembered pieces of my beloved ornaments. These meant so much to me on many levels, they were one of the few nice things I actually owned, they were very beautiful, we'd been collecting them since the year after we got married, and then last year Bill hunted high and low to get the one from the year we were married. (these appreciate immediately in value, so our little collection had grown to be worth about $2,000). As I stared at the shattered pieces I could barely speak. I crumpled to the floor in tears, and ordered the girls to their room (which they had the good sense to retreat to without a word.) My tears continued to fall as I picked up the pieces reflecting rainbows all about the room. Bill went to deal with the girls.

A couple of hours later I went to play hockey. A game we narrowly won 1-0. I had dinner with my buds, then headed home to 2 rather sad little girls. They had to know that this was a serious offense (we've had deviations before, but none like this and I didn't want it repeated.) I said goodnight to them, and told them we would discuss their punishment in the morning, I needed time to cool down and think. In the morning Sam immediately and sincerely said, "I'm sorry we broke your crystals Mommy. I know they were special to you and that we shouldn't have touched them." She had obviously thought a lot about it. Riley as I came to see later was just having a hard time verbalizing her remorse and sadness.

In any case, I had had a night to sleep on it, and while they are just "things", they were important things, a direction had been given and directly disobeyed. There had to be some punishment that would prevent it from happening again (I hope.) What was that you ask? Let me tell you. They lost ALL their toys. Not for good, but for a time. They know they have to earn them back by following the rules, and then they only get a few at a time which they have to put away properly if they are to get the next box of toys back. I'd considered just taking away their favorite toy permanently, I'd considered time "served", I'd considered other punishment options, but this seemed to be the best and killed many birds with the one stone. To top it off I've been having them help me box up the toys to put away, so they are directly involved with the punishment.

The good news is that they seem to get it. There were many statements throughout the day, but the 3 that stick with me the most are Sam's apology, them both asking me if I was done being mad at them, and then Riley's goodnight statement. I had gone in to tuck them in last night, gave them hugs and kisses and told them I love them as always do. Riley said, "I like this voice much better Mommy." To which I replied, "You mean better than my mad voice?" She said, "Yes. We'll try to follow directions better so you don't have to use that voice anymore, ok?" It made me happy and sad all at the same time.

The long and short of it is that they get it, they are not whining for their toys, they are following directions, and it's been much calmer around here. Let's see if it actually sticks.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading my lengthy ramble.

New Years Eve

2008-12-31T14:07:00.001-08:00

New Years Eve is often a time to reflect, but I think I'll pass on that
for this year. Instead I'll end the year the way it's gone, with a
story about one of my kids.

This year marks the first year that we intend to let the girls stay up
to celebrate New Years with us. (Whether or not they make it is a whole
other story.) In light of this fact we thought we should have them take
a nap so they have a chance at seeing the New Year come in. Riley's
response? "It's not dark and my legs still have walking to do."

Have a happy and safe New Years everyone!

Gluton free? There's nothing free about it.

2008-12-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

It's always irritated me just a little that schools have entire dietary policies in response to the restrictions/allergies of a few. It makes me want to send peanut butter sandwiches in my kids lunches followed up with some apple juice. (Good thing my girls don't do lunch at school.) I understand that some of these kids can have serious reactions, but to me it sends them a message that they don't have to take responsibility for their own well being, let the rest of the world do that. Anyway, I digress - a little.

I've offered to do a holiday cookie decorating activity for the girls preschool. As a courtesy I checked with the teacher to see if any of the kids had any dietary restrictions (I wanted them all to be able to participate.) As it turns out, one of the kids has a gluten allergy, so off I went to figure out how to make gingerbread cookies without gluten. (Only because it was my choice, and not required to do. The teacher did say the mom could provide an alternate item for her child, but this didn't seem fair to me.) And I digress again.

Anyway, Gluten free flour is ABOUT 10 TIMES THE COST OF REGULAR FLOUR and it requires Xanthem Gum which is about $25/lb!

All day today I've been trying to modify my recipe, find a new recipe, etc. to make gluten-free gingerbread cookies. So far I haven't even been able to come up with something I can roll out, and I'm burning through ridiculously expensive ingredients. I have to say I'm gaining a whole new appreciation for what these moms go through. Two thumbs up for all their hard work.

Update to follow with my final results. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Illness 101

2008-12-13T02:21:00.000-08:00

Why Illness 101? Because it's all stuff I should know, especially considering my profession. However, as a Mom, it's sometimes difficult to bring the personal and the professional together.

The beginning of this week the girls seemed fine and both went to school on Monday. On Tuesday Sam was a bit sniffy and warm, so I debated what to do. Then she had a half hour throwing up jag in the bathroom and it became clear, she would stay home from school. Riley felt a bit warm, so to be on the safe side she stayed home too. Afterall, she was bound to get sick too, right?

Wednesday dawned bright and early, and I figured that my girls who are rarely sick would be ready for school. Not so. Sam was up for 2 hours and went back to bed for 4. Riley seemed fine so off she went, a little sad without her sister, but went anyway. So went the rest of the week. Sam stayed home, Roo went to school.

Finally, Sam seemed a lot better though still a bit sniffily. We thought Riley had dodged the bullet this time. We couldn't have been more wrong. She seemed a little tired, but the week had been busy. At dinner she said her ear hurt, asked to leave the table, and GO TO BED! Yep, you heard me right. My little non-sleeper actually requested a date with her pillow. We knew something was wrong then, but had no idea how tough my little one really was. Finally about an hour later she started howling that her ear hurt, she was holding it, her nose was running significantly more than before, and she had a low grade temp, so we called the after hours clinic. They were able to get us in right away, and it was a good thing. The doc said that this was about the worst ear infection she's ever seen. Who knew how long it had been brewing. I'm told there's a good chance her eardrum will burst, but that will actually relieve the pain because it will release the pressure. There's nothing they can do to either prevent or treat it, so we wait. In the meantime my poor baby fell asleep in the car on the way to the pharmacy, in the shopping cart at the pharmacy, and again in the car on the way home which is so not like her. She kept repeating, "Can we just get home and to bed fast? I'm tired."

After loading her up on antibiotics, ear drops, and acetaminophen she is now sleeping quietly. Let's hope for a better day for her tomorrow.

New musical instruments

2008-12-04T12:46:00.000-08:00

We were driving in the car today, and Riley was playing music on a toy
pan from their kitchen, and Sam wanted to play too. She didn't have an
"instrument" so she started doing thinks with her hans and feet
accompanied by the appropriate musical sound from her mouth. She says
she was playing the Skode and Ruffus, two instruments she just
invented. I'm not quite sure what they are, but judging from the
gestures and sounds I'm guessing they are members of the percussion
family.

Sam's game of Beardie

2008-11-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

Today Sam asked me what was on my Santa List. When I said I didn't know, she said, "Maybe you could put some games on your list." I asked her what games I should ask for and she replied, "checkers and Beardie." I asked her what Beardie was, and this is her description:

You put marbles on a table and you try to hit them with a stick. If you miss them you go up (you're chair rises in the air), and if you hit them you go down. There's a Mawday by the ceiling that keeps you from hitting the ceiling, so you don't make a hole. According to Riley there are also Mawdays on the walls, so you don't hurt them either. To come down from the Mawday you have to hit the marbles.

I should say that this description was accompanied by much gesticulation and animated facial expressions, not too mention excitement.

Stories about monsters

2008-11-17T12:53:00.001-08:00

At preschool the girls had to make up stories about monsters. They made
pictures first, and then described them. Here they are.

Riley:
My monster's going to have 3 eyes. My is Riley Roo. She's a girl. She
likes to play and dance.

Sam:
This is going to be his brain but, he doesn't have a zipper. Mine is
going to be named Dream. He knocks on the walls. He loves your
preschool, he likes to hide. And he likes to eat people. He likes to
do it with Frank. He likes to dance like Frank.

Today has been a record boo boo day for me...

2008-11-13T21:41:00.000-08:00

Today I started to drive away without buckling Riley in her carseat. Good thing I've always told her to say, "Stop. I'm not buckled in." She did exactly that, so no harm done. Right?

Jump forward about an hour and I find myself sitting at a traffic light that has clearly turned green. Does this register with me? Only if you consider me sitting there, staring at the light, wondering when it was going to turn green.

Another couple of hours forward and I go to pick up the girls from school. I find I have the Tivo remote with me instead of my cell phone. (Thankfully that was in my jacket which I just happened to grab on the way out.)

After picking them up we make a quick stop at the park where I get the girls out of the car and start to walk to the play area WHILE THE CAR IS STILL RUNNING. Thank goodness I realized that and went back, turned off the car, got the keys, and locked the car.

There were a few other minor mishaps of the day, but these were the highlights. What does this mean? That I seriously need more sleep. I have NEVER driven away without buckling my children in, and I don't think I've ever had a day with quite so many "Oops" moments.