Life and How to Live it

New Blog

2007-06-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

New Blog people

rachieheather.blogspot.com

:)

I missed you all and am glad to be back

Who Needs Mistletoe??

2006-12-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

As I got up for work the other day I stepped out onto the balcony to take in the sunrise. The crisp morning air chilled my bones as I took in a deep breath.

“Calm down,” I told myself. Just breathe.

The holidays.

No two other words can bring a feeling of such joy mixed with such dread at the same time.

On the upside – the clothing in the stores is amazing (though I am not buying any I promise), the lights are beautiful, the house smells of pumpkin pie, warm roasted nuts (yes I roast my own nuts haha), and beautiful Christmas music (sorry fellow Jews we are lacking on great holiday music.). There are festivities and parties galore – I have 5 in the next three weeks. People give presents and there is nothing like spending a chilly night cuddled up on the sofa with some hot cocoa and a warm body. The food is great and there seems to be some magic in the air. Did I mention presents? Yes, presents are a definite upside. I love presents (don’t worry, giving and receiving) and I love opening up these little surprises and seeing what people get when they think of you. Large or small – all great.

Then we have the downside. – The stress of finding good gifts, the stress of figuring out what to get the essentials (like your boss), what to wear to the actual parties, people fighting in line at the mall, people arguing over who is going to get your parking space and then blocking your way out while they duke it out (yes that happened to me), the stress of getting your entire odd ball family into one room just so you can listen to what a conversation might be when you get into said room the following: a republican (or a bunch), a couple liberals, one green party, one optimistic but overly worrisome Jewish mother, one pessimist, one stoned grandpa who can give a shit what anyone is saying, one great-grandmother who can’t hear what anyone is saying but pretends to anyway, and one 25 year old woman who must deal with such questions like, “what guy are you dating?”, “tell me every detail of your new job”, “ why don’t you marry _ _ _ “ (yes I still get that question after I have been friends with _ _ _ for years) and of course my favorite – the mix between “you look great!” and “oh you look way too skinny dahling, are you eating”?

With all that said, I really do love the holidays. It is my favorite time of year (starting November 6th of course), and I look forward to it once again this year. Now if I could just get all my gift shopping done, bake my most fabulous pumpkin pie, glazed almonds, chocolate rum pie, and gingerbread – I will be all set. I have my “Santa’s Baby” red jacket, my “Who needs Mistletoe?” panties, my shopping list, and my calendar full….

Now all I have to do is stop and breathe.

What are everyone’s plans for the holiday? Anything fun?

Money Lessons Learned

2006-11-30T09:59:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make.

I love shopping.

Yes that is me. A confessed shopaholic. I love nice clothes and I love nice shoes. I spend 20 dollars on a pair of panties that have enough fabric to cover most men’s pinky. I would gladly spend a few hundred on a handbag and eat protein shakes for a week. I buy expensive skincare. My jeans I buy based upon how they make my ass look rather than the price tag. I buy high thread count sheets. Not even the thread count you can buy at most stores – they have to be ordered. When I feel down I don’t go on a drinking binge or an eating binge – I run straight to the mall. It is my vice.

I am a retail stores best client. I am a sucker. I walk into the store and stupidly get the retail credit card because I get 20% off that day and fail to even think about the 22% APR.

Well – this got me into a lot of trouble.

Lately I have been learning a lot about effective money management and what being a credit card person actually does to ones net worth.

What it comes down to is this.

Credit cards are the demise of America (not my words.) But I believe part of this is true. With credit card debt you will always pay back way too much. So imagine you are buying a 100 dollar shirt – after you pay that off the card it ends up being like 150. And if you are only paying minimum payments or slightly more – well you are barely paying any principal.

Now – to give myself credit I have never had a late payment in almost 7 years.

I have been really good about no longer spending. I am sort of in a “time to get responsible about money” phase – hence the no shopping policy. But getting out of debt is a whole other story.

I sat down with a couple “money savvy” people. One is my uncle who has no debt – only one credit card and is very well off because he knows money. The other is my banker. Who, because he is a banker, obviously knows money said the same thing – debt can’t ruin someone.

So with a little help from my friends I have, with my newfound knowledge, come up with a repayment plan.

The first thing I did was transfer every balance to a low rate card. This I find out will cut my repayment time by half and reduce my interest by thousands of dollars.

I then canceled every single one of my cards. GONE. OUT THE WINDOW.

I will now be completely out of debt in 8 months.

However, my love for nice things will likely never go away. What can I say – it is just who I am.

I Rachel Heather am indulgent. And, I have come to find out this is not a fault – materialism is not a bad word – it just has to be managed.

So how am I going to do that?

First of all I am forcing myself to not buy anything not needed until I am out of debt. After that I was thinking maybe of some sort of budget but it has to be paid in cash.

Any ideas?

This is the dawn of a new age – the age of Rachel being financially responsible.

So to sum it all up – what I have learned.

Bad marks on your credit WILL come back to haunt you (I had two late payments when I was 18 that bring down my score  )

If you can’t pay cash for something – don’t buy it – unless it is a solid investment (car, home, etc.)

Keep only one low APR credit card and only put on there what you can pay off at the end of the month.

So what kinds of money management and money “rules” do you all follow?

Random Musings From Yours Truly

2006-11-27T15:34:00.000-08:00

This past month has been a whirlwind of dreams coming true, happy synchronicities and new things happening so fast I sometimes forget to stop and eat or breathe. At this moment, I have a moment and I am kind of in awe of all that has happened. In just three short weeks my life has completely changed. Things that I finally realized I deserved are coming into fruition and

I have met the male version of me - monkey butt and all. Now that is scary.

I have stock options now - like a reel lif adault.

I have two new pairs of panties - One says "Who needs mistletoe" on the butt. Don't make fun of me.

My brother has got a new dog - bringing the pug count through the roof in my family. I am not going to get a pug.

My new boss has nicknamed me, "Thread Count."

People walk around the office here with beer in their hands.

I have my own private banker.

First freelance writing job coming up :)

A certain someone has also nicknamed me "PHD in Manipulation." - whatEVER.

Rock n Republic Jeans are my new favorite jeans

I did something so crazy - everyone that knows me is going to gasp, freak out, and might collapse. I donated two giant containers of clothing to charity. It was tough. I cried at some items - but so worth it.

My body is looking better than ever. I have started taking some new sports just to mix it up a bit. Kickboxing is one of them. I am also going to be taking Pilates and of course my running. (Told you I was busy!)

I have a brand new luxury apartment.

I actually make money now!

I am pretty much on the go from 5:00 AM till bedtime - hence my lack of updates. Things are going to settle down soon, or at least come to a more even keel schedule.

People are starting to see things in me that I never saw before - like actual talent and brains and the x-factor that is needed to actually bring in something unique. In some ways it is almost weird but in others I feel as though - ok finally! I am slowly but surley starting to believe that I really do have that X-Factor - not just when it comes to charm but with brains as well.

After Thanksgiving = CHRISTMAS MUSIC TIME@!!!!!

Woooooo Hoooooo!!!

We pick up our tree in a week - it is a real one :) And you have no idea how good my pies are. I am going to make pumpkin, apple, chocolate rum, plus gingerbread, sugar cookies...oh you name it I am making it!

I love giving presents this time of year. I put a lot of thought into it as well, I am now in the planning stages but I have gotten a lot done.

I did not go to a single store on black Friday. For that alone - I deserve a medal. It was so freaking hard but thankfully I had good support for those moments of weakness where I was tempted to just drive to the store and buying something I don't need just because it is half off.

Remember my boat/new York/ slash weird dream. It is sort of coming true. Well starting to.

How's that for a busy month!!!

These Are The Days...

2006-11-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

That Rachel gets no sleep.

That Rachel hasn't parked her monkey butt down to write :(

That good new things have happened.

Don't worry, I will have some time to update tomorrow.

Then I should be back on a more regular schedule. :)

Lesson Number Two

2006-11-15T01:04:00.000-08:00

Philosophy, and therefore psychology, has two theories. We have all heard the nature vs. nurture argument. From a philosophers point of view some would say we are born Tabula Rasa and then learn our traits as products of our environment. Tabula Rasa means clean slate for those of you that have not read Aristotle or Aquinas. Go read it if you haven’t!

If someone told you right now that you could have Tabula Rasa and wipe your entire slate clean and then create the life of your choosing – what would you choose?

Now really think about this one. Most of us are programmed to choose based upon what we “should” want or what we “think we can get.”

The ego is a tricky thing. I like to call the ego a well-meaning but idiotic child. It is always there, in and each and every one of us designed to make life a learning experience.

If we had no ego we would all be in a state of Nirvana – everlasting joy and peace. However, we have this ego and it is designed to give us a purpose.

Imagine playing a baseball game in which someone told you before each game that you were going to win. You would start to lose the joy for the game right? Isn’t the triumph in winning, knowing that it is a risk and you might lose?

Triumph over ego and you win everything.

So here we have this idea that if you can get to nothing, Tabula Rasa, then you can have everything. But your ego wants to stop you.

The ego is what makes us never change and grow because where we are, even if painful, is comfortable. It is safe. Safety is the ego’s friend where risk makes the ego nervous because it can lose.

The ego makes us settle for less. It is easier.

The ego makes us give up on what we want.

The ego makes us hurt others.

The ego makes us lose hope.

The ego makes us insecure.

The ego makes us arrogant.

The ego makes us stay in a state of denial, lying to others and ourselves.

In short – the ego protects us from pain..but keeps us from true happiness.

But what if someone came to you and told you that there is a way to get to “nothing,” triumph over your ego, create the life you want to live and have a freaking fantabulous time while you are here…

If someone told you that – then how would you choose your life? Picture it in your head. Picture exactly what you want. Don’t hold back because you think you can’t have it, or can see no plausible way to get it.

So…the only question you need to ask yourselves is this:

If you take away your ego and knew for sure you could get it – what do you really really realty want?

I am curious to know but in an effort to make us all as honest as possible, please comment anonymously.

And The Award for BEST GIFT EVER Goes To....

2006-11-07T21:40:00.000-08:00

The Best Sheets Ever!!!

"Honey, what would you like to do tonight"?

"Well, geee...I dunno - Row B, Column 3 sounds fun."

If you please turn your attention to - the instruction manual in my hand. Look closer. Closer. Yeah - thats what you think it is.

This gift was given to me by my Aunt who threw me a really fun party with my friends.

Here are some highlights taken with my brand new digital camera : )

Me and Sammy - he actually came to the bars with us

Me and my uncle - by the way, the hat was not my idea

Me and my fantabulous birthday cake - it was handmade by a friend of mine :)

Me and Blair - the fantabulous cakemaker :)

my mom is one of those weird moms that does this

more pictures to come - and more festivities

P.S - I am going to get into a series of articles on here as kind of an experiment/instruction series that delves into a few things that blend some universal laws, physics and metaphysics, and such. The problem is I have so much information and so many different views on the subject matter that I am not yet sure how to articulate it to where it would make sense to the "average Joe." So if you have any advice on how to explain things in that way I would love any my readers could give.

They Say It's Your Birthday :)

2006-11-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

It's my birthday too YEAH!!

So 25 years ago today - two parents gave birth to a freaking awesome girl that had big eyes and baby face cheeks.

As you can see not much has changed since then, I pretty much look the same - same cheeks, same eyes...

Except - maybe I am a little taller, a little wiser, and..well I grew a butt and boobs and such.

Birthday festivities pretty much last the entire month of November in Rachel Land.

We kicked it off with a BBQ today...I raked it in :)

Good times Good times :)

Will be back in a couple of days...

I Am Becoming a Butterfly

2006-11-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

It would take me hours upon hours to explain where I have been and what I have been doing the past month.

I wish I could tell you all that I went on an African Safari, or that I won the lotto and have been using my time wisely making sure Nordstrom’s and Bloomies stay in business for a thousand years.

While, that is not the case, I can’t divulge too many details here.

I have been to hell and back. I have seen darkness and things have happened that have shattered my belief system , respect, and the standards I had set.

Standing in nothing, I was forced to evaluate everything. Who I am. Where I am. Who I want to be and where I want to go.

A good good friend, and someone who I hold high with utmost respect and admiration told me this (to paraphrase)

“Rachel, what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly. I see you and I see that you are turning into the most beautiful amazing butterfly I have ever seen.”

Besides being one of the best compliments I have ever gotten (and thank you for that, you know who you are) it opened my eyes to realize that standing in nothing is actually a good sign.

As with any change in our life, or self-transformation, or even taking the first step to get help, it is painful. It is as painful as that caterpillar breaking through his cocoon. Many people say it is the most painful thing anyone goes through. Many people give up during that time. They get familiar with that boxed in feeling. It is comfortable and safe. Breaking out is dangerous. It is scary. No one knows what is outside the cocoon.

But I broke out anyway.

Here is what I found:

- It takes courage to do the hard thing which many times are the right and just thing.

- It takes courage to see the truth about who we are but only we can change and grow. This is why many people never change (how many times have you heard that one)

- I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

- I am a good, loving person.

- I understand.

- I know how to love.

- Not one single person in this world is evil.

- I am totally freaking sexy. (I had to add that one) : )

I am now standing on the cusp of a new life. The world is spread out before me and, mark my words, I will take it on.

I won’t settle for anything less than spectacular. I won’t remain in a boxed in place of where I “should” be. If I want to do something I am going to go balls in and do it. Coward no more.

I can be anything I want. I can do anything I want. I can have anything I want. That is what the universe was designed for. Are you in a job you don’t like? Quit. Follow your bliss. That is what takes real courage and conviction. How about your town? Your heart? Your mind? Why is it you have the job you have? Is it what your parents did and you thought you should do the same? What kind of life do you really want to live? Picture what you want in your head.

I am told I am now a butterfly. My life did a 180 the past month. But now, everything seems possible.

And this sick feeling in my stomach, over my past…that will fade with time.

So many people thought of me as someone that would not go anywhere. A pretty face – nothing more.

Mark my words….my standards are set, I will not lower them, and anything less is an insult to the universe and myself.

Anyone care to join me? All you have to do is be authentic.

And maybe a little bit sexy ;)

Life in the Fast Lane

2006-10-09T23:20:00.000-07:00

Preface – I hope you all have been thinking about your three desires – we will get back to that. : )

As of late, my life has taken a turn for the crazy. (hence the lake of blogging)

To explain – this is pretty much my week.

Tuesday – school

Wednesday – work at job #1 and then school

Thursday – school

Friday – work at job #1. Then drive down to San Diego.

Saturday – work all day at job #2. Go out at night

Sunday – work all day at job #2 and go out.

Monday – work all day at job #2 . Drive home from San Diego

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

San Diego is about 1.5 hours away FYI.

I am not complaining. I love being busy. I love it.

However, just a month ago I was complaining about my lack of hours at job #1 and no way to fill my time in between classes.

And now?

Well my life has been changing at warp speed. Everything is changing. Jobs. People. Everything.

I have no idea where all this change is going to lead. I was given advice, by my mentor, that if it feels good I am on the right track. Well I feel better now than I have felt in quite a while.

Many people travel through life with a planned destination. I have not a clue what mine is. I have a general idea (writing), but other than that…I got nothing.

But do we have to know all the time?

Who made up the five-year plan rule?

Is it possible that if we just keep going keep going keep going...then we will eventually end up where we are supposed to be?

So until then…

Lather Rinse Repeat.

Lather Rinse Repeat.

Lesson #1

2006-10-06T15:28:00.000-07:00

We live in a world that is governed by laws of man. Red lights, school, patient rights, eight-hour shifts – all laws made by man.

There are other laws that have an even deeper hold on us. The laws of the Universe. Law of gravity. Law of inertia. Law of the tides. Concrete. Solid. There is no way to manipulate any of these laws. You don’t need to go to school to learn any of these laws. No one says, “Well I have to go to school to learn about gravity because if I don’t, I might go up instead of down”!

When we go about life we automatically combine the laws of man and the laws of the universe. We go about our day, struggling against time, working against the tide, speeding threw the yellow light, forcing ourselves to go upstream.

We reward ourselves with hard work. Work inspired is lazy. The harder it is the more gold stars we give ourselves.

What if I told you there was another way?

What if I told you there was a scientific Law of the universe that can help you realize that there is nothing you cannot be, do, or have.

I am on my way down to San Diego for the weekend. While I am gone I want all of you to think about a few things.

What is it you give the majority of your focus on? Past? Present? Future? Bad? Good? Happy? Sad?

What three big desires do you have?

What would you do, if you didn’t have to think about what anyone thought of you, how much money you made, or what society thought?

Think Think Think

Then we will continue.

☺

The Price People Pay for Money

2006-10-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

A couple walked into the store. One scantly clad girl wearing Frankie B jeans so low her “coin slot” could hold dollars. With her was her boyfriend, wearing a muscle tee and diamonds in both ears so large I feared I might have to get my sunglasses.

She was holding a Yorkie, about two pounds and he was holding a Chihuahua that could not have weighed more than 1.5 pounds.

Both dogs had more “bling” on them than the couple.

“Aww how cute,” and meant it, as Yorkies are my weakness. “What are their names.”?

“This is Dolce,” she said as she pointed to the Yorkie. “And, this is Gabbana.”

Fitting.

I gave the girl a once over. She was a walking designer ad.

The man had more diamonds on him than my Great Grandma Bertha.

How much money does one have to have to afford so much in life? I wondered to myself.

I mentally went over in my head thinking about what this couple must do for a living.

I do this. I study people.

And then I noticed it. The boyfriend was wearing an ankle bracelet. NOT of the fashionable kind.

He reeked of scandal.

For a second I was jealous of this girrl..before I saw the bracelet.

And then, all I felt…was sadness.

Sad that money becomes everything to people and forces them to abandon their morals.

Sad that wealth is thought to be something we need to create on the outside, instead of being wealthy within.

Sad that I was still freaking jealous that she had the new Gucci bag!

I'mmmmm Backkkkkkkk

2006-10-03T00:23:00.000-07:00

I have been out of town and I just got back so stay tuned for some updates : )

In the past 5 days I have:

Was humbled by an experience.

Met a girl and her boyfriend who owned a yorkie named Dolce and a Chi named Gabana.

Met a 17 year old one-eyed Pug

Kicked ass at some board games. I am the Uno QUEEN!

Got a little tipsy.

Got my ass grabbed by a stranger on J street who then proceeded to run away.

Had tons of fun

So tell me, how was your weekend?

A Week of Lessons

2006-09-27T22:59:00.000-07:00

The Best Sales Tactic Ever

“Hey check these shoes out” I say as I point out a pair of 600 dollar Manolos.

“OK I just lost my hard on.”

“What?? They are so cute.” I sound defeated. My ploy is not working.

I think for a minute.

“Well, picture me in them naked.”

“Alright, hard on is back.”

The shoes are mine.

Way Not to Pick Up A Woman

“Hey, do you like older men”?

“Well not too much older.”

This guy is 45. Drunk. Rich.

“Well how do you feel about spanking”?

Excuseeeeeeeeeeee moi?

Best Way To Achieve Anything – Assume you already have

“What are you”?

“I am a hot ass writer is what I am,” I say confidently.

“But, you have not been published yet,” Mr. Obvious states.

“What the hell does that have to do with anything”?!?!

Best Way to Ignore - Walk Away

“Hey Rach, I am sorry about the Angels.” I get from a phone call

GO OAKLANDDDDDD – I get from my A’s fan friend as a text,

I look at the computer.

I look at the phone.

“I gotta go to bed,” I say as I hang up the phone.

I turn off the computer

Head to my pillow.

And pout till bedtime.

Best Way To Figure Out What You Want

“I think my problem is I am not sure what job to get,” I say to my mentor.

“Well, that’s easy, ask yourself what you would do for free Then do that.”

“That’s easy. Writing of course!” I exclaim.

I think for a minute…

“But, I need to find a job to make money first. You have to work hard for the money.”

“Rach, if that were true, ditch diggers would be millionaires.”

Touche.

“Bottom line Rach, do what you love and the money will follow,” she says with a sincere smile.

And the final lesson learned this week…

Best Way to Get Anything You Want

ASK FOR IT!

: )

All Foreplay No Orgasm

2006-09-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

All Foreplay No Orgasm

It is Friday night. Two people. One Angels fan and one Padres fan. Chris Young is pitching a No-Hitter and it is the top of the ninth with two outs to go. This would be the first in Padres history.

The tension is building up as superstitions come out.

“He is pitching a GOOD game. Don’t say it Don’t say it.”

(You cannot say someone is pitching a No-Hitter until the end of the game. Bad luck.)

The other team gets a home run. The first hit of the game. Chris Young disappoints. Padres still win but a feeling of dissatisfaction follows.

All foreplay.

Meanwhile back with the Angels game. The score is 4/4 and we are in the 12th inning. My fists are clenched. Time stops.

We lose.

No Orgasm.

So many things in life cause lots of buildup with no delivery. A disappointing game. A job we had high hopes for. That really hot guy that looked like he knew what he was doing.

We all need to start packing a punch outside the bedroom.

Give me an Orgasm.

Give me a No Hitter

Give me a win after a freaking long game.

Give me the climax.

Or I might just have to scream.

The Turning Point

2006-09-22T00:10:00.000-07:00

This October my grandparents are celebrating the 10-year anniversary of their house burning to the ground along with every thing they had ever owned. Weird thing to celebrate you are thinking right?

Well, the point of the celebration is to celebrate rebirth. It is evidence that even though sometimes we can lose everything and stand in the ashes of was once our life and rebuilt it even better than it was before.

Their house grew back; they built the house of their dreams in its place. They created a palace. And slowly but surely new memories were created.

They say that in everyone’s life there is always a clearing, a clean slate, and a proverbial rug being pulled out from under us. It leaves us with a Tabula Rasa, a chance to either sink or swim, to get up and walk or stay on the ground in the comforts of misery.

This year has been my clearing. Everything that I associated with myself was lost. People died. People left. Jobs became no more. I was left standing with nothing.

Now as I look at the past months I think of what can become of Tabula Rasa. I was left standing with nothing because I had to become happy with nothing before I could ever be happy with something. So I put myself to work. I worked on me without anything to define myself or anything to rely on.

It is easy to distract ourselves from the ugly insecurities we have when we have busy jobs, projected relationships, drama, and what not. But without all of it we are confronted with all that ugly and there is no choice but to sink or swim. Clear the muck and move on creating the life that we are meant to live….that we WANT to live.

At times the “work” we have on ourselves is a lot harder than going to a job every day. It is shitty and ugly and painful.

But what happens, and what happened to me, is I slowly became a new person. Stereotypes that I had about myself and others had about me have slowly begun to drift away. A new me is born and what she is is better than I ever thought possible. Creative ideas are flowing. My focus is clearer. Life is changing..slowly but surely

The turning point came when I surrendered to the way I thought things should be and just accepted the way things are. It is when I threw my hands up into the sky and gave up control, gave up knowing, gave it all up. I became free and I became different somehow.

So I can be negative and tell myself, "Well I have not found a fulfilling job yet," or "I am not published yet," or whatnot. Or I can focus on how far I have come in the past few months. I am living successfully on my own when no one ever thought I could. I was given a new pet as a gift from my brother, the greatest gift he has ever given. I have been responsible in my job applications. I have found new relationships. I have become responsible and hard working. I have grown up. I have gained new insights about what my goals are. I have run a half marathon. I have maintained my fitness and nutrition regimen. I have grown in my craft. I have not only found my confidence again but I have fallen in love with me as I am. (or am starting to which is a start) Not bad right?

The turning point was the burning down of the house.

The new beginning was being the Phoenix that rose from the ashes.

A Few "Rules" I Follow

2006-09-20T01:47:00.000-07:00

Check and see if the guy opens the door for you. Small gesture. Big telling sign.

Open the door for the elderly. Just do it.

Never snap your fingers at the waiter. They are not servants.

Try not to yell at the customer service representative. It is shooting the messenger.

Always tip 18 – 20%- 25% at a nice restaurant. Don’t double the tax. Especially if you had alcohol. (alcohol is not taxed so you will under-tip.)

Don’t talk on your cell phone in line.

Applying lip-gloss in public is ok. But go to the restroom to apply anything else.

Treat everyone with respect, unless they prove that they cannot be respected.

Shake hands when being introduced to someone.

Remember birthdays and anniversaries. Very important.

Don’t walk ahead of your date, ever. If they walk slower, then you walk slower.

Say “please” and “thank you” to the waiter, it goes a long way.

At the grocery store, if you have a lot and the person behind you has very few, let them go ahead of you.
In the ladies room, let the pregnant woman go ahead of you if there is a line.

When you get into an elevator and are standing near the buttons, ask the other patrons what floor they would like to go to and push the button for them.

Silverware – Start from the outside going in.

Try your hardest not to fart in the elevator.

Always end emails, phone conversations, face conversations and instant messages with a proper ending. I.E Thank you, I look forward to hearing from you, love you, have a great day, see ya soon, ttfn, etc. etc.

Accept gifts and compliments with a thank you. Rejecting a gift or a compliment is like rejecting that person who gives it or calling him/her a liar.

What are some of the things you all follow?

Illusions and Magic

2006-09-18T01:18:00.000-07:00

When I was about ten years old, I saw a magician perform at a company party hosted by my father’s work. I was mesmerized from the get go and spent the entire evening following this magician around from table to table, hell bent of learning a few things. From that day forward I wanted to be a magician. This guy was very enamored by me that he even spent a bit of time teaching me a few tricks.

I was in utter awe. It was all an illusion. Subtle trickery that, even though any adult knew it was not real, could still cause them to become wide eyed little children, amazed at what their eyes were seeing.

In the few years that followed, I spent countless hours studying the craft. I went to magic shops. I got books on the craft. I practiced in my room and on my family. I “performed” for anyone I could get to sit down for a minute. I actually became quite good for a teeny tiny tot.

Today, though not a professional magician, I still love the idea of magic. We know it is an illusion. We know it is not real. And yet, we sit in front of our TVs, pay hundreds of dollars for Copperfield tickets, watch documentaries on Houdini and still can’t get enough.

This weekend I had the pleasure of seeing the movie, The Illusionist. The movie had its flaws, but the effect it set out to achieve worked beautifully. The movie, in of itself, is an illusion and yet it remains magical at the same time.

Is magic an illusion? Is it real? Do we rely on it as a source for entertainment or is there a way, if we take away all of our adult cynicism that we can remain starry eyed kids where magic IS real and the laws of nature don’t apply?

What about the mix of magic and law…metaphysics. Is that not magic? Is mind dynamics magic or an illusion? What about hypnosis? Is that not magic? NLP? Law of Attraction?

Is everything just an illusion? Do we only see what we want to see? Ignoring the trickery and slight of hand that goes on behind the curtains.

My love for magic never turned into a career (thank goodness for that because seriously they make bupkiss), but one thing it did teach me is to never only trust what only the eyes can see.

So…tell me…

Do you believe in magic?

Are We All Masochists?

2006-09-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

“Rach, what are you doing”?

“I just got home..” I reply to the phone.

I can’t sleep, it is the middle of the night and what I find myself doing is spending the last hour “window” shopping on the Internet.

I am such a Masochist.

“I am on NeimanMarcus.com. Kill me now.”

After a few clicks I am brought to a pair of Manolo Slouch boots. Priced at 1050 dollars. Hmmmmm rent or Manolos? Tough decision.

The new pair of Louboutins…700 dollars for a shoe crafted so beautifully I might cry.

“Why do you do this to yourself Rachel”?

“Its fun that’s why”!!

And it really is. Will I ever buy a 1000-dollar pair of boots? Not likely. (ok that’s a lie I tell just so you all don’t think I am crazy but when I am a millionaire you bet your ass I am going to get those.)

My grandmother told me that when they were really poor, they used to go down to the rich neighborhoods and find open houses they could walk around. This was how they spent their Sunday afternoons.

Sometimes I head over to www.40bond.com to oogle my dream home.

I know we all do this. Salivate over things we can’t afford just for fun.

Is it masochism? Are we just torturing ourselves?

There is that Chloe handbag.

*Sigh*

Those Manolos are the most perfect boots I have ever seen.

*Sigh*

Yes….it is Masochism.

My name is Rachel Heather and I let fashion torture me.

“Hello Rachel.”

:)

Falling in Love With our Bodies

2006-09-13T00:06:00.000-07:00

I need your Women’s Psychology opinion on something”

“Ask away”

This might be interesting…

“Well I just got an email from a girl that I did some work for, and she had seen the work I did and she thinks she looks fat in all of it.”

“Her exact words please”?

Sometimes men can be so lost

“Her words were, ‘Well you can use it but I look like a fat cow’! or something like that.”

Tsk tsk tsk.

“Oh honey, she just wants a compliment’!

“Huh”?

“If a women tells a guy she looks fat in a picture or something, she is just trying to get you to say, ‘oh don’t be silly you look gorgeous’ DUH”

Now obviously this women is a little less than pleased with her body and while I normally would say to ignore it, this is someone he works with and when it comes to business I always think it is better to feed someone’s ego. Agree or no?

“But, Rachel..I don’t want to lie to her”!

Men do it as well. Men who boast about their penis size, their bank account or their stellar performance in the bedroom are usually harboring insecurity about said subject.

Women just go about it in a more passive-aggressive way.

“You women are so weird. Why not just be happy with your bodies just the way they are”?

Good question I thought to myself.

That is a very good question.

Welcome to the UnTaboo Generation

2006-09-10T22:56:00.000-07:00

“Did you see the premiere of Nip/Tuck”?

“Yes, of course I did”! I almost shouted.

“Well, I am now addicted to that show. You should have seen your brother when it was on. He could hardly believe they do THAT on cable.”

I have a mental picture of my mother, father, and brother sitting around the sofa watching Dr. Christian Troy get it on with a mother/daughter duo but I shudder and quickly erase the picture from my mind.

“That show is something else,” my father mumbles with a goofy grin.

This is all too much.

Nip/Tuck – the ultimate in family entertainment. I should have never introduced them to the show to begin with. I will be haunted with those images for the rest of my life.

Later on, while in the comforts of my apartment where I can watch Nip/Tuck without the embarrassment of my mother sitting next to me, I am alerted by the familiar “bing” of an IM alert.

****** - "Hey Rach!"

It is my 11-year-old cousin in New York. This is the way my family communicates now. No joke. When I lived at home, my mother would IM me to ask questions rather than take the trip down the stairs.

Arubarachel – "Hey babe, how is my favorite cousin?"

****** - "I am really good :) I can’t wait for you to come visit. You can meet my boyfriend."

Excuse me? Ok, I admit it; I had a boyfriend in kindergarten. But, playing house and playing doctor was our relationship in its entirety. I believe boys still had coodies at the age of 11.

Arubarachel – "You have a boyfriend?"

******* - "LOL, yeah. Oh, he is here brb."

What happened to kids spending the afternoon playing Barbie?

Here lies Americans in the 21st century. Long gone are the days where families gathered around to play Monopoly. Instead we sit around and discuss the sex-lives of our favorite TV characters. Little girls have boyfriends (albeit innocent ones) at the age where I had no idea what a boyfriend stood for. We openly talk about bodily functions. Private parts are no longer private and public conversations can center around sex, periods and sperm..often all at the same time.

Another IM “bing”

****** "OUCH!"

Arubarachel – "what?"

******* "I just sneezed and farted at the same time."

See what I mean?

The phone rings and interrupts my thoughts. It is a dear friend calling to find out my weekend plans.

“Let’s see a movie”

“How about a baseball game instead?” I ask.

“Am I buying the tickets then?” he asks without being serious.

“Of course you are.”

“Well then Road Head is required for payment.”

“Nice try,” I say, “See what tickets you can find.”

I hang up the phone and sit for a minute to think. Where along the lines did any taboo subject start hanging out, in the open for all eyes to see? When did all this happen?

I can’t say I mind….It makes for excellent conversation.

25 Peeps

2006-09-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Don't know how this happened..but I am on 25peeps.com

so click here

and refer me

cause I am applying for jobs all day

and need more entertainment.

25peeps.com

so click here

and have a Happy Friday

Taking Away The Fear

2006-09-07T02:03:00.000-07:00

I know I asked all of you what you would do different if you took away your fears. I never told you what I would do.

I have had a lot of time to think about things the past couple of weeks. Mainly because I am not working as much as I would like to and my classes are not requiring as much study time as I anticipated. In some ways this is a good thing for I have had the chance to just BE. I have had time to write. I have had time to realize that this fictional story in my head of what I thought I was I just that – fiction.

I believe a lot of what is said to us growing up gets absorbed easily and therefore it becomes a belief rather quickly.

I have had two teachers in my scholastic history that have taken the time to tell me how smart I am or how talented I am. My 5th grade teacher Mrs. Fry, with whom is still a family friend today, made me feel like a freaking genius. She encouraged my writing, she used positive reinforcement, and pointed out all the talents I never knew I had. She made me want to come to class and made learning fun. Then there was Mr. Rupp in high school. He thought I was spectacular. He thought I was this amazing talent just waiting to be discovered. The words he used in my yearbook, which I still remember today, were, “You are like the atomic bomb, who knew so much could come out of something so little.”
But two teachers out of countless does not a belief make. The rest – well what can I say about them. I was told I was dumb. I was told I was a horrible writer, or horrible at math or horrible at something. When I got an A on a test I was accused of cheating. My parents were called and told how much of a “trouble maker” I was.

They all made me hate school.

My life has had a lot of changes this year and now I am on this leading edge. I have created this clean slate – this Tabula Rasa – in which I can now walk in a direction of my choosing.

At first I was scared. Could I follow my dream? Could I make it happen? What about what I have been told? Now mind you I have never once had a family member, a boyfriend, a friend or anything of that nature call me dumb or not talented.

So the past few months I have realized something.

Those teachers didn’t know shit about me. They were projecting their issues.

With a lot of work I have been able to stomp a lot of those beliefs I used to carry with me into the ground. They are not buried completely but at least I have been doing the introspective changes to get there.

I have been applying for jobs in the field I have always wanted to be in. I have been contacting networks. I have been taking the first step. I have enrolled in some media classes. I have been getting help with my resume. I have been working on getting my ass in the door.

Martin Luther King once said, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase just take the first step.”

So here I am. Clean Slate. 24 years of feeling less than genius gone with the wind.

And I am not there yet.

But I am taking the first steps.

It feels fucking fantastic.

What Would Be Different...If You Take Away The Fear

2006-09-01T01:19:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to say I am going away for the holiday weekend. I shall be back on Tuesday with, I am sure, some great stories to share : )

For now I want to leave you all with a question. You don’t have to answer it right away if you don’t want to but just sit and ponder it. Answer it if you want, leave it anonymous if you must but I just want you all to think about this

What would you do…if you were not afraid?

Whenever I had a problem or a conflict in my head or any confusion and I asked a wise wise person what I should do..this is the question that was given to me.

You all know. It is that crossroads. That fork in the road. The weary feeling. The confusion. The stress.

The question is something to ponder and I want all you readers to think about this one.

What would you do if you knew when you jumped that a net was down there?

What would you do if you knew you would not get hurt?

What would you do if you knew that when you swung you could not strike out.

What would you do..if you took away the fear?

Think of it this way. Fill in the blanks. "If I were not afraid of _________, I would ____________"

Ok, that’s all : ). Think about it. Have a great one!

Opinions...Everyone Has Got Them

2006-08-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

“Rachel you are too much of a dreamer, put yourself in reality.”

“Rachel just focus and graduate and then worry about your career.”

“Rachel work on your career while you are in school.”

“Rachel, don’t date him.”

“Rachel, date him I like that one.”

“Rachel you need to stop coming across as overly confident.”

“Rachel be more realistic.”

“Rachel, you are part evil.”

“Rachel you drive me nuts.”

“Rachel don’t worry about it, go with the flow.”

“Rachel, you better start worrying about it.”

“Rachel, you look expensive, it is intimidating.”

“Rachel you are too nice.”

“Rachel you need to stop believing in your dream world and start looking at reality.”

“Rachel – never give up on your dreams.”

“Rachel I love you, and I know you will do what is best for you. Date who you want to date. Follow the career of what makes you happy. You will do great”

“Rachel, you look expensive.”

Now which one do you think I should listen to?

Opinions. Everyone has got ‘em. I got them coming at me in spades.

Except here is something I have learned. For every single person in my life there are that many opinions…and usually more.

Opinions are just what someone believes. What we believe is what comes to pass (consciously and subconsciously). And so here and now I have made the conscious decision to not listen to anybody (unless I want to) and just follow my intuition.

It has never failed me in the past. It sure as hell not gonna fail me now.

What are some things people have told all of you that make you get all mind chattery? Does anyone else have this happen to him or her?

When did it not become ok to trust our gut?

Joseph Campbell (amazing author) said, what I consider to be, three of the most powerful words ever spoken (EVER!!!)….”Follow your bliss.”

“Follow your bliss, and doors will open where there were none before…”

Now that is some advice I think I will take.