Project Sporked Penguin

2005-12-02T14:44:00.000-05:00

"Thanksgiving"

What are you thankful for? I am thankful for a lot of things... This is what this holiday is about. It is about reflecting back on your life. It is an optimists holiday. You don't focus on the negative on Thanksgiving. It's all about the good. But some people don't see it that way; for one reason or another, this holiday only serves to depress them...

2005-07-22T07:45:00.000-04:00

"Labor"

It is the summertime, and as such many of the kids here in the US have went and found summer jobs. Or at least are still trying. The economy isn't exactly great, an in that spirit, many older people have been filling jobs traditionally taken by the younger persons. Jobs are becoming more rare. College grads have their work cut out for them. The only job with REALLY high demand is military. To make things worse for American job seekers, many large companies are outsourcing their jobs. But as bad as things are in the States, the grass is NOT greener on the other side. In fact the grass is brown, and the grass is only a small patch barely holding out amongst a gravel lot. Think your summer job sucks...

2005-07-09T07:19:00.000-04:00

"Insanity"

Unfortunately for human beings, life isn't easy. Even worse, many people can't handle the stress; they snap. These people have problems. Don't get me wrong, everybody has problems, but these people have real problems, bad problems. Need examples? Look at Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, and Jeffery Dahmer Some people are born predisposed to such travesties. Others have an unfortunate event trigger the madness that ensues; this event could be the death of a loved one, a bad day at work, or even the chance meeting of two strangers...

2005-07-04T05:18:00.000-04:00

"Fanatics"

Happy B-day to the USA. Due to lack of access to a scanner as well as little time... well who cares right?

Fanatics... we all know at least one. Those crazy people who are at every sporting event, wearing nothing but shorts and body paint in support of their team. It doesn't matter that it's 10 below freezing, and it doesn't matter that their team is down several points and has no chance of winning. Fanatics swear by their obsession. They divert all of their energy to it. Don't ask a Trekie to choose between food and a limited edition Mr. Spock Bobblehead. They just won't eat. It is always nice to like something or to have interests. That is what keeps life from becoming mundane. However, all interests can turn into vices and could cause irreversable damage to one's health, one's relationships, and especially one's social life...

2005-06-10T05:02:00.000-04:00

"Immigration Policy"

I was listening to some talk radio about 2 days ago when I heard something disturbing. It turns our that Latin Americans are now the largest majority, not only because they are crossing the border, but also because they are out breeding all other Americans. It is estimated that 1 in 5 children in the U.S.A. are Hispanic, and the Hispanic population is growing at about 3% (compared to Caucasian birth rate of about .3%). Now nobody wants to talk about border control for fear of alienating the Latin vote. But it must be done. The border must be protected, especially when one has to worry about terrorism. So if nobody else will talk about it, then PSP must. Why? Because we are not afraid of losing the Hispanic vote, because we know that what is right is right, because we are idiots...

2005-06-02T11:22:00.000-04:00

"Reconcilliation"

Under intense pressure, I pushed out this one. I've been quite busy of late... No matter. Hopefully I'll post more regularly starting on the 10th of June 2005. Ok, now on to the post.

Forgiveness. It's a simple idea. It's easy to say, too. However, due to human nature it is very difficult and even sometimes impossible to do. To forgive is divine, as half of the ancient adage reads. The problem is that we all step on someone else's toes (to err is human) every now and again. We must take it upon ourselves not only to forgive, but to ask for forgiveness, lest something terrible happen...

2005-04-20T23:57:00.000-04:00

"PSP Interview 1"

It's been too long.. so here it is. PSP has gotten an exclusive interview with a big time entertainer. Enjoy...

2005-03-23T17:23:00.000-05:00

"Uncleanliness"

THIS IS DEFINATELY NOT SAFE TO LOOK AT IN THE WORKPLACE (or school, etc.)

It's official... I'm going to hell. I know it. So do you. Let's not kid around anymore. All doubts about my hell-boundedness will be erased by the next comic. There are many ways that one can feel unclean. For instance, one can wallow in the mud for hours and then feel physically unclean, or one can just find a loved one cheating on him/her and feel emotionally unclean. However, what I feel now... it's different. A different type of uncleanliness, a sort of fire and brimstone type of uncleanliness. I can't help it. I've already drawn it and colored it. It is already uploaded. I just felt so sorry for him. I just felt so sorry for Charlie Brown. I had to do it...

2005-03-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

"Feeding"

No matter how you put a spin on it, humans, just like all animals, have to eat. And, let me shatter a common misconception: Humans created pure vegetarianism. Herbivorous animals (a.k.a. plant eaters) are named so not because they only eat plants, but because the primarily eat plants. In fact, I have a picture of a giraffe chewing on a bone. My best friend has one of a squirrel picking the meat off of a bone. The same holds true for carnivores. Any animals will eat anything if it means survival. If a cow were out of grass, and you were stuck in a bear trap... just kidding, a cow would then commence to eat insects or scavenge meat from bones. But what about Muppets? We all know that Cookie Monster eats cookies and that Oscar the Grouch eats children. Have you ever wondered if Kermit the Frog, before he was a big time journalist and before the money was guaranteed, ever looked at Ms. Piggy as a possible dinner? A side of bacon? Ham? A slab of pork ribs? What about the other characters? We rarely see the feeding side of many muppets. Why do you think that is?...

2005-03-16T15:39:00.000-05:00

"Accidents"

It is in my professional opinion, and I do stress professional, that there are no such things as accidents. In fact, I believe that this whole thing, EVERYTHING, was planned in advanced. We humans seem to think that because we have no control over it, it is an accident. It is a tool that we use to get us to sleep at night. We don't realize that someone-or more likely something-is out to get us. Why do good things happen to bad people? Why do bad things happen to good people? It is all planned out, a test of our sanity. I had planned on posting last week, but exams and assignments kept popping up, out of nowhere. But that's minor. The "planners" have spared me. Of course, these "planners" have it out for some people more than others...

2005-03-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

"Hard times"

There is nothing like struggle to bring people together. 9/11 brought people together, the World Wars and the Great Depression did the same thing. It is often said that people are social beings. I agree, but we are only social out of necessity. If we didn't need eachother to survive, someone would have "cleansed" the earth already. It is hard times that forces interactions between people; it is hard times that get people motivated. Hard times also make people do extraordinary or unusual things. Mothers have been known to lift cars off of their children. It is amazing the distances we'll travel, the accomplisments we'll attain, and the lows we'll sink to in order to survive those hard times...

2005-02-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

"Destroying Childhood Icons"

I am out of control: I have taken on many childhood icons, including some of my personal favorites. I am partially responsible for the perversion of our youth (assuming that they look at this site and that they can read, both of which is unlikely). Because of my destruction of innocence, I am probably going to hell. I have taken on well over 50 different childhoon icons. Is there anyone left to make fun of? OF COURSE!!! As long as PBS, Disney, Nickolodian, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros., etc keep pumping out childhood icons, I can keep pummeling them with my good ol'freedom of speech. This weeks victims are the Care Bears. But I couldn't possibly pervert these cute, cuddly, and overly wholesome creatures, could I?...

2005-01-30T20:58:00.000-05:00

"Role models"

As promised, here is your post for this week. Like I said in last weeks comic, I have the comic for the week following this one. But, I also have started another one for two weeks from now. So I can promise that you will have one next week, then another the following week, but anyway...

Childhood is supposed to be a time of innocence, a time for exploring the world around us. It is during childhood when we choose (or are given) our personality. For instance, a boy who chooses Wolverine as their favorite Xman will probably become a shameless smart@$$, some boy who picks Gambit will most likely be "smooth," and any lad who opts for Cyclops will grow up to be a brown-nosing suckup and have a successful life as a yes-man. Boys that like playing with balls, like footballs and basketballs, are more likely to become men that like to play with Barbies. Likewise, little boys that like to play with Barbie dolls are more likely to grow up and become men who play with balls, as in testes. Of course, there are exceptions. My point is that it is important for children to pick his/her role models well. So it is on the parents to help screen those possible negative influences. Unfortunately, this is no easy task; sometimes those who seem the most innocent can wreak havoc on one's personality through their influence...

2005-01-27T09:25:00.000-05:00

"Practical Jokes"

So much for every Friday! I WILL post next week and the week after since I've already made the comics for those weeks.

It's not even April yet, not even close to the practical joker's reason for living: April fools. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, it is a day when lies, pranks, and other shenanigans run amok. It is also the first day of April. Nevertheless, a true prankster always has something up his sleeve regardless of the day; he or she may not carry through with their plans, but they are planning... always. Just recently someone in my dorm took snow and put it on another dormmate's bed, which is a horrible thing to do. Almost as horrible as making someone watch the OC or some other teen drama. This brings me to my point. Sometimes pranks go too far, you can wind up hurting someone's feelings, alienating a friend, or (even worse) unleashing a terror that will change the landscape forever...

2004-10-29T16:04:00.000-04:00

"Christmas season already?"

Before I start:

I have decided, because of time constraints and the lack of decent inspiration, to limit my posts to about once a week. I will probably update every Friday. As you can tell, I hadn't posted in a while. But I will do so more often. So the two of you who are reading this can rejoice. If I have more time and inspiration I'll update more. I am also trying to up the quality of the comics. Your opinion would be nice... Now on to the show!

It isn't even Halloween yet. Why is it that when I walk into a store I see Xmas decorations? Cardinal McFlint (Responsibility I (4/15/04) and II (7/28/04)) would have a seizure if he saw it. Have we Americans just decided to skip over our beloved November holiday, Thanksgiving? Is commercialization really that strong that we can just skip over both Halloween and Thanksgiving? Hmmm... well, as nature dictates: "evolve or die." I will keep up with the trends, as Walmart has told me that it's Christmas season, here is an Xmas comic...

2004-09-02T13:27:00.000-04:00

"The cluck is for vengeance"

2004-09-01T13:08:00.000-04:00

"PSP Chronicles: The President's Involvement"

Here is the second installment of PSP chronicles.

2004-08-31T14:50:00.000-04:00

"Ethnic Diversity"

Very few rational people would argue that diversity is a bad thing. In fact, Darwin says that it is variability that drives evolution. In terms of organisms, humans are probably the smartest. This leads me to believe that it is only out of hate that we try to eliminate our own diversity. Genocides are bad. Any ethnic cleansing should immeadiately catch the eye of the global community and be stopped, it makes me wonder why there has been no response to some of the attrocities currently going on...

2004-08-30T15:23:00.000-04:00

"A memorial to a dying art"

The Olympics aren't/didn't do so well, so I decided to give them a little free advertisment here on PSP. Maybe the little bit of traffic will cause a resurgence of interest in the competition...

2004-08-29T13:56:00.000-04:00

"Full-contact"

*Warning: I am about to evoke a stereotype, and, as with all stereotypes it isn't universally true but has some grains of honesty in there. Also thanks to Dside for such a wonderful idea.* Men are violent. They want to see things get hit and hurt. That is why football (American football), wrestling, boxing, etc. are so popular. It is the contact. What if everything were like that? I wonder how the world would cope with, say, full contact golf or full-contact poker, or even full contact critism...

2004-08-28T13:59:00.000-04:00

"Retirement"

You spend most of your life working. Then comes the golden age when you can just sit back and relax, right? Wrong!! You have a whole new set of problems to worry about. You have to worry about money, children/grandchildren, greedy heirs, and voting. But perhaps the thing that you must worry about most of all is the retirement home...

2004-08-27T13:30:00.000-04:00

"Fairy Tales"

Everybody loves, or at least a some point loved, a good fairy tale. Usually they conjure up vivid childhood images such as princesses, dragons, knights, trolls, WMD's, and other imaginary objects. There are some that are part of every child's upbringing, like Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. Then there are those that didn't make the cut...

2004-08-26T13:09:00.000-04:00

"Rutherford is back"

Everyone's favorite penguin is back... but where is his spork?

2004-08-25T17:24:00.000-04:00

"Competition"

In today's world, with prices rising and people getting fired, it is kind of important to have competition amoungst companies. A monopoly would lead to astronomical prices that would not be fair. But because of competition, we are able to buy cheap goods. Besides, a little friendly competition never hurt anyone...

2004-08-24T13:15:00.000-04:00

"Curiosity killed the cat..."

We have all at one point heard the cliché "curiousity killed the cat." The purpose behind this is to prevent us from puting ourselves in bad situations by asking too many questions. But all of science is based on curiosity. So like so many things it has it's good and bad sides. One thing is certain too much of anything, including curiousity, is a very bad thing...