Canadian Cynic

The important thing to remember, darlings ...

2009-07-12T09:18:00.002-04:00

... is that the Left uses bad words and suffers from a terrible lack of civility.

The Right, on the other hand, is populated by sweet, gentle, courteous churchgoers who are open to all opinions and completely lacking in self-righteous, judgemental and/or objectionable behaviour.

No, really.

The burning stupid of Jabba the Roy.

2009-07-12T04:55:00.005-04:00

Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy pushes himself away from the buffet long enough to hork up another hairball:

Here's what lefty Ruth Baider [sic] Ginsburg thinks. She believes in a eugenics program using abortion.

Frankly I had thought that at the time Roe was decided, there was concern about population growth and particularly growth in populations that we don’t want to have too many of,” said the Justice (emphasis added).
In other words, Ginsberg says abortion is a eugenics tool designed to weed out the undesirable and useless eaters, to specifically control the number of people the ruling elite “don’t want to have too many of,” i.e., the poor and specifically people of color. Very scary.

Really? Is that what she thinks? Uh, no.

Jabba the Roy: Still the biggest douche in the bag. I swear, someone must have to chew his food for him or he'd choke on it.

Krauthammer Derangement Syndrome?

2009-07-12T02:41:00.003-04:00

As someone who has frequently used his psychiatric background to "diagnose" political opponents with mental problems, it's nice to see someone finally calling out screeching lunatic Charles Krauthammer for the deranged dingbat and worthless hack that he is.

BONUS TRACK: Media Matters takes it to Krauthammer as well.

Now THAT'S funny!

2009-07-12T01:20:00.002-04:00

Heh. Indeed. I always suspected those morons share a single brain amongst the lot of them.

AFTERSNARK: It's truly entertaining that, after commenter "John Cross" writes of trying to comment at Mr. Currie's:

There is something funny going on at Jay’s site. It wasn’t letting me post either from work or from home. SO I started to play around and found that it was my name that was keeping me from posting. If I post using the name JC instead of John Cross, no problem.

Jay shrugs his shoulders and responds thusly:

On comments: poor John seems to have been consigned to comment purgatory for no reason that I can figure out. I am working on it and am happy to try to post whatever he writes.

It's odd how people just end up "consigned to comment purgatory" at Jay's place, for no apparent reason. It's like Jay is off mowing the lawn or something, and his blog takes it upon itself to simply start reorganizing itself while Jay isn't looking. No problem, though -- Jay is happy to "try" to post whatever John writes, but I'm guessing there's no guarantee of success, is that it, Jay?

Poor Jay. Someone really should take him aside someday and explain how those blog things work. Really, it's not all that hard.

The stupid! It burns!

2009-07-12T01:14:00.001-04:00

How do people like this even remember to breathe without reminder notes?

It saves time when you can dismiss them almost immediately as idiots.

2009-07-12T00:36:00.004-04:00

Blogging Tory "Right From the Prairies" gets all panty-moist over Stephen The Corpulent:

Harper Interview with Globe and Mail

I noticed the article on the interview, and instead skipped to the transcript of it. There's some interesting stuff here. It shows, in my estimation, Harper to be a smart man, careful with words ...

And that's pretty much where I stopped reading.

Tune in tomorrow when we see Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy get his John Baird Underoos in a bunch over Antonia Zerbisias' alleged eliminationism, only to ... oh, hell, here's a link. Go wild.

AFTERSNARK: Alison calls out The Star for their spineless capitulation to the CJC.

All Conservatives are rapists. Who knew?

2009-07-12T00:11:00.003-04:00

Hmmmm ... what an interesting development. And using standard Blogging Tory logic, we can now conclude that a) because they've been charged, we can assume they're guilty, and b) if one is guilty, then we can obviously generalize that they're all guilty, therefore c) all Conservatives are horrible rapists who should be thrown into prison. Q.E.D.

That's the way it works, right?

Your perpetual Blogging Tory stupid.

2009-07-11T13:12:00.002-04:00

The stupid. The smackdown. I could do this on pretty much a daily basis if I wanted to.

Oh, wait ...

Profiles in statesman-like behaviour.

2009-07-11T12:46:00.003-04:00

"We will not start raising taxes and cutting programs. That's a very dumb policy and, to the extent, frankly, that the parliamentary budget officer suggested it, it's a dumb position," he said.

Shorter Big Daddy Stephen Harper: Omigod ... whatever.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

2009-07-11T09:26:00.000-04:00

Good morning, darlings – this one is just for Teh Boss.

And this one is just for me.

BT dumbassery -- part deux.

2009-07-11T05:34:00.004-04:00

Stephen Taylor's long-ago dream of a thoughtful, educated, Canadian conservative punditry runs even more horrifically off the rails, as one checks in on Blogging Tory "General Brock," who proceeds to do to logic and history what Peter Stormare once did to Steve Buscemi in "Fargo":

Our friend over at Blazing Cat Fur has dug up another gem of leftist stupidity. The left’s answer to all of the questions regarding the threat of Islamic fundamentalism? Nope, doesn’t exist. It’s just some made up problem, most likely by those vile Conservatives. But you really should watch out for those Christian fundamentalists. Some actually committed the terrorist act of sending out a pro-life pamphlets [sic] one time.

That’s right, tens of thousands have died in the past decade from Islamic fundamentalists attacks, and the left is saying watch out for those Christians because they got a pamphlet.

Yeah, those Christian fundies and their pamphlets. And their posters. And their high-powered rifles and stuff.

It's the pamphlets I'm worried about.

Let the dumbassery begin.

2009-07-11T03:29:00.002-04:00

Via TPM, we have actual, you know, video analysis:

Via Stephen Taylor, we have another Blogging Tory dumbshit.

Pretend you're surprised.

Wafergate! Canada's Littlest Racist mouths off.

2009-07-11T01:51:00.004-04:00

Devout Catholic and shrieking, hate-filled bigot Kathy Shaidle gets all preachy about crackers:

I too have to object to the use of the word "cracker".

Mercifully, no one gives a fuck about what Kathy thinks, but it doesn't stop her from continuing to spew:

Unlike Protestants, Catholics believe that the communion Host is the actual Body of Christ. We're touchy about people pocketing the Host because believe it or not, there are weird people into Santeria and stuff who use them in pagan rituals.

Also, er, it's Jesus.

No, Kathy ... it's a cracker. But here's a suggestion.

If you actually want sane people to take your idiotic ritual seriously, why not have the "wafer" magically appear out of the air each time? That would be wicked cool -- the sudden appearance of the mystical biscuit in the fingers of the priest just before he places it in someone's mouth. It might even convince me to give this Catholicism thing a try.

But if wafers come, not out of thin air, but out of mixing flour and water, then baking at 350F for 20 minutes, then they're not magical representations of the body of Jesus Christ, ready to be transmogrified into His actual flesh. They're crackers.

Deal with it.

NOW THIS IS CURIOUS: What's up with gluten-free communion wafers?

For eight years, Robert Snow crossed himself as he approached his priest during communion instead of receiving the wafer he desperately wanted.

Snow, of Deerfield Beach, was diagnosed in 2001 with celiac disease, which prevents him from eating foods containing gluten, including communion wafers.

But Snow's church, St. Gregory's Episcopal in Boca Raton, recently began offering wheat-free communion wafers for people who cannot digest grains. And Snow says he finally feels part of the Mass.

So parishioners now have a choice of regular or gluten-free transubstantiation. How thoughtful of Jesus.

It's just a coincidence. I swear!

2009-07-11T00:07:00.004-04:00

But every time I Google on a combination of "Blogging Tory" and "Holy screeching stupid," I end up here. Yes, that would be one Paul E. Marek of Saskatoon, taking the position that Sarah Palin's resignation speech made perfect sense, if by "perfect sense" you mean complete crap like, oh, this:

It's that our administration is so stymied and paralyzed because of a political game that has been chosen to be played by critics who have discovered loopholes in the ethics reform that I championed that allows them to continually, continually bombard the state with frivolous ethics-violation charges, with lawsuits, with these fishing expeditions. We win the lawsuits, we win the ethics charges, we win all that — but it comes at such great cost. The distraction, the waste of time and money, the public's time and money — it's insane to continue down this road. And Alaskans who have paid attention to what's going on, they understand that. (Read "How Sarah Palin Mastered Politics.")

Now, there's been some frustration with some in the media not fully reporting what's been going on, so this may come as a shock to some Alaskans. We have sat down with reporters, showed them proof of the frivolity, the wastefulness — you know, millions of dollars this is costing our state to fight frivolous charges. And countless, countless hours from my staff, our department of law, from me every single day just trying to set the record straight.

Oh, noez!!11!1! "Millions" of dollars in defending against ethics charges! How awful! Curiously, I'm guessing that the same people who are totally outraged about all that "wasted" taxpayer money never had a problem with the Bill Clinton investigation, which cost upwards of $70 million in public funds to investigate. Even more curiously, one wonders about the thought processes of all those right-wing "law and order" types who don't think law-breaking should be prosecuted because it will, you know, take time and cost money. What an odd and unexpected sentiment, don't you think?

Ah, but the real entertainment value kicks in when someone actually does some research and makes Mr. Marek look like the stultifyingly ignorant prat he is. Let's read along:

Gov. Sarah Palin, explaining her stunning resignation announcement, has repeatedly said attacks on her since she ran for vice president have cost state government "millions" of dollars.

"That huge waste that we have seen with the countless, countless hours that state staff is spending on these frivolous ethics violations and the millions of dollars that Alaskans are spending, that money not going to things that are very important, like troopers and roads and teachers and fish research," Palin said this week.

Yes, that's the claim she's making. So, Sarah, let's see some numbers. Oh:

Palin administration officials provided the Daily News with a breakdown of what it says are $1.9 million in costs.

Um ...OK ... it takes a bit of an imagination to describe the precise figure of $1.9 million as "millions of dollars" when it doesn't even reach the technical value of what would make it plural. But then the hilarity truly begins:

Most if it is a per-hour accounting of the time state employees, such as state attorneys, have spent working on public records requests, lawsuits, ethics complaints, and issues surrounding the Legislature's "Troopergate" investigation last summer of Palin.

"Is it a check that we wrote, no, but is it staff hours, yes," Sharon Leighow, spokeswoman for Palin, said of the expenses related to state employee work.

Those state employees would have been paid regardless.

Ha ha! Yes, you read that correctly. Not only is a good deal of that expenditure related to Sarah Palin's unethical behaviour, but all that alleged expense would have been paid to those state employees, anyway! State expense? What state expense? By all means, read the whole piece, but pay close attention to this nugget:

Anchorage activist Andree McLeod is suing in an attempt to obtain state e-mails sent to Palin's husband, Todd, who Palin critics have claimed is a "shadow governor." The e-mails have been withheld based on the claim of executive privilege, with the argument that Todd, while not a state employee, is an adviser to Palin. McLeod also filed a lawsuit meant to force the administration to abandon use of private e-mail accounts, like Yahoo messages, saying that can put state policy information off limits to public records requests.

"The high cost Palin keeps talking about is a function of Sarah Palin's refusal to secure, preserve and protect the state of Alaska's public records and (her circumvention of) state servers and public record laws," said McLeod, who said she offered to drop the suit over private accounts if Palin would ban them.

All of that would be describing this incident, where Palin was using non-governmental e-mail accounts (specifically, a Yahoo account) to conduct official government business with the clear intent of evading accountability and bypassing public record laws:

A hacker claiming affiliation with the group Anonymous has broken into GOP vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin's Yahoo e-mail account, subsequently posting the account password to an online chat forum. Information from the hacked account, including screenshots of several individual e-mails, a pair of family photographs, Palin's contact list, and header information from her inbox, were posted on the site Wikileaks earlier Wednesday.

The break-in comes amid controversy over the Alaska governor's use of the Yahoo e-mail account for state business. Internal documents obtained by reporters allegedly show Palin staffers discussing the possibility of using unofficial channels, such as personal e-mail accounts, as a means of evading subpoenas and requests under the state's open records law targeting her official account.

Though criticism of Palin's use of the Yahoo account had largely focused on worries about transparency, Donald Mitchell, the attorney for an Alaska citizen-watchdog who had been seeking disclosure of the governor's e-mail records, also broached security concerns. "There's a reason the governor should be using her own official e-mail channels, because of security and encryption," Mitchell told The Washington Post, "She's running state business out of Yahoo?"

I could go on, of course, but I believe I've made my point. All of Palin's grief is entirely self-inflicted, and only truly, truly stupid people like Paul E. Marek of Saskatoon are going to man the battlements for an unethical, law-breaking twit like Palin and whine about how much it's costing to nail her sorry ass to the wall.

Pick me! Pick me!

2009-07-10T18:16:00.001-04:00

Any guesses, boys and girls? I’m going with Lindsay Graham -- it's just something about his decided lack of chin.

Would it be too much to ask...

2009-07-10T13:22:00.003-04:00

..for a government that spent some time, you know, actually governing?

Let's take the Department of Citizenship and Immigration. They're working on putting some new procedures in place to reduce the backlog of immigration and refugee applications. The resources are just too limited, the difficulties in assessing claims, are just too great. They just can't handle it.

Well, I sympathise. But here's a suggestion: how about CIC expend fewer resources monitoring the movements of private citizens' groups who oppose their current policies -- including the blogs of private citizens -- and actually do their job?

Or better yet, get the hell out of the way and let someone else -- someone competent -- actually run this country.

And this is when we juxtapose.

2009-07-10T12:52:00.003-04:00

There's this:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper formally apologized to Michael Ignatieff on Friday for questioning the Liberal leader's commitment to crucial Canadian interests.

Harper, at the closing news conference at the G8 summit here, alleged that Ignatieff had suggested a new body to replace the G8 might be created that won't include Canada.

Harper, whose party has questioned his rival's commitment to Canada because Ignatieff lived three decades overseas, said Ignatieff should withdraw the remark.

"I think it's an irresponsible suggestion, and Mr. Ignatieff is supposed to be a Canadian."

But Harper quickly withdrew the remark after learning he had been misinformed by one of his media aides, Dimitri Soudas.

"During my press conference, I attacked Mr. Ignatieff for some things he had allegedly said about Canada and the G8," Harper said.

"I learned shortly after the press conference this was not a quotation of Mr. Ignatieff. I regret the error and I apologize to Mr. Ignatieff for this error."

Followed in the same article by this:

Harper, during a lengthy news conference at the conclusion of the three-day G8 summit, also denounced a report in a New Brunswick newspaper earlier this week saying he pocketed the Holy Communion host during the funeral at a Catholic church for former governor general Romeo LeBlanc.

"First of all, as a Christian I have never refused communion when offered to me. That's actually pretty important to me," he said.

"Somebody running an unsubstantiated story that I would stick communion bread in my pocket is really absurd and I think it's a real, frankly, a low point. This is a low moment in journalism, whoever is responsible for this. It's just a terrible story and a ridiculous story and not based on anything as near as I can tell."

Identifying the unintentional hilarity is left as an exercise for the reader.

Your regular Denyseitude.

2009-07-10T07:34:00.004-04:00

Screeching dingbat and Canada's most prominent IDiot Denyse O'Leary gets positively moist over the latest piece of literary offal coming out of the Discovery Institute. Mercifully, we can also check in with someone who is not clinically insane who, while admitting he hasn't yet read the book, makes it clear he has a pretty good in a "pre-review" of what's coming down the sewer pipe.

Then there's Meyer's Discovery Institute colleague David Klinghoffer, who goes positively Jewish mystical over the book, and promptly gets his ass handed to him on a plate by his commenters.

It's truly impressive that these people don't just collapse into themselves in a massive black hole of stupid whenever they get together.

BONUS TRACK: Stephen Meyer shows up, albeit briefly and indirectly, in this wicked smackdown documented over at PZ's. That had to leave a mark.

Your Republican family values.

2009-07-10T05:11:00.002-04:00

None dare call it "extortion". Countdown to Fox News describing Ensign as a "Democrat" in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

Awwwwwwwkward.

2009-07-10T03:44:00.003-04:00

Blogging Tory Mike McGuire goes full-metal panty yanking over the MSM's utter indifference to dead American soldiers. Fortunately, Mike is all over ongoing Canadian military casualties like stink on cheese.

You had to see that coming.

P.S. Mikey seems to consider NewsBusters a reliable source of information. Sane people beg to differ.

Irony, oh where is thy Ezra?

2009-07-10T01:30:00.003-04:00

Ezra Levant gets all morally upstandy and everything about someone else being "ethically challenged." That would be this Ezra Levant.

This can't possibly need a punchline.

Some days, I seriously need my anti-stupid shield.

2009-07-10T01:10:00.003-04:00

Blogging Tory Paul E. Marek of Saskatoon gets his Ann on. That would be this Ann -- the one who firmly believes Sarah Palin is just crazy like a fox (even as Marek opens by describing Palin as "just a ditz and flash in the pan; and now washed up").

Perhaps Marek and Coulter should get together and get their stories straight. It would make mocking them so much easier.

Accountability! Boo-yah!

2009-07-09T11:41:00.002-04:00

The funniest part of the scarce isotope clusterfuck:

Health Minister Leona Aglukkaq and Natural Resources Minister Lisa Raitt issued a joint statement saying they are disappointed the repairs will be delayed. They said the shutdown will result in a significant shortage of medical isotopes in Canada and around the world this summer.

“I have directed AECL to give paramount priority to bringing the Chalk River reactor back to service as quickly and safely as possible and will hold AECL accountable to that end,” Ms. Raitt said in the statement.

Yes, that would be Conservative MP Lisa Raitt, promising that, by God, she's going to be holding someone accountable.

I think I just wet myself.

Science!

2009-07-09T11:04:00.001-04:00

Docking from Mato Atom on Vimeo.

Wafers, slow news days and lessons to be learned.

2009-07-09T10:57:00.005-04:00

So there's the shrieking controversy:

The controversy revolves around whether Mr. Harper, a Protestant, ate the Communion wafer or pocketed it while attending the funeral of former governor-general Romeo Le-Blanc at a Catholic church in Memramcook, N. B., last week.

In a 40-second video clip, which is being played and replayed online, Mr. Harper seems to hesitate when a priest approaches him with the Communion wafer, but he then takes it in his hand, and it is unclear what happens next.

To which the proper response would be, um, who gives a shit? It's a freakin' cracker, something most of Canada's wingnuts are properly dismissing with, Jesus, slow news day or what?

So who made this such a big deal? Why, the Catholic Church:

"It's worse than a faux pas, it's a scandal from the Catholic point of view," Monsignor Brian Henneberry, vicar general and chancellor in the Diocese of Saint John, told the Telegraph-Journal...

"It's not a symbol of the body and blood of Christ, but is in fact the body and blood of Christ," said Neil MacCarthy, director of communications for the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Toronto. "The Communion wafer starts as a host and becomes the body of Christ. And that happens in the course of the sacrament we celebrate."

"We believe we are holding Jesus in our hands, so to put Jesus in your pocket or to put Jesus on the ground [is serious]. If it falls on the ground it has to be consumed. We never throw Jesus out," Mr. MacCarthy said.

OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD ... heresy!! Whether our Prime Minister -- the man charged to lead this nation -- ate a goddamned cracker (albeit one with magical and mystical properties). Yes, dear Lord, this is news!

But can we finally just roll our eyes, wave our hand and move on, and forget this idiocy? No, of course not:

At least one person at the service thought they saw the Prime Minister put the host in his pocket, although that cannot be verified by the video footage and is in fact rebutted by the Prime Minister's Office and by a testimonial from another political dignitary at the funeral...

The Speaker of the Senate of Canada, Noel A. Kinsella, even issued a statement refuting the claims the Prime Minister pocketed the holy wafer: "I would like to state that I personally witnessed Prime Minister Harper consume the host that was given to him by Archbishop Andre Richard. Sitting only a few seats behind him I had a full view of the proceedings and clearly saw the Prime Minister accept the host after Archbishop Richard offered it. The Prime Minister consumed it."

Yes, oh Jesus, let us drag out the eyewitnesses who will now testify regarding the cracker! And after all this, can it possibly get any more absurd? Of course it can:

Yesterday, a spokesman for the Mr. Harper said that "it's totally absurd" to think Prime Minister pocketed the wafer. "The priest offered the host to the Prime Minister, the Prime Minister accepted the host and he consumed it," said press secretary Dimitri Soudas.

Yes, that would be someone from the Prime Minister's Office, weighing in solemnly on whether the political leader of this country ... ate the cracker. At which point, we can finally summarize the lesson learned here:

All of these people are completely, totally, batshit crazy deranged and should be locked up. From the Church who takes the wafer idiocy that seriously, to the official representatives of the PMO who seem to think that it's a good investment of their time to respond to such inanities, all of these people are gibberingly mindless airheads who should be interned somewhere for their own safety, and the safety of the rest of us who should never have to listen to this kind of screeching stupidity ever again.

It's a cracker. Get over it. Get a life.