Yarra yarra Yarra...

2004-09-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

Don’t really feel like blogging…don’t really feel like doing anything for that matter… But I have about 30 minutes to kill and I refuse to do another millimeter of work!

This week is dragging out for ever… lingering…. Killing me softly… I need a weekend, no; actually a week would be better!

Going camping this weekend…yum yum… (not!!) Usually I’d be looking forward to roughing it… but geez, I’m tired, I’m in pain, and frankly, I’ve got better things to do! I’ve got nothing against anyone or anything that’s going with… could just do with a relaxing weekend at home, sleeping in my own bed, with my own pillow, waking up to the sound of my mom making me tea… a blissful, heavenly thought. But seeing that I’m “one of the boys” (apparently) I have no other choice than dragging along and pretending to be enjoying it. I’m gonna take a fishing rod…there’s an idea… that’ll keep me occupied for most of the time…

It’s funny how people’s behavior towards you starts changing when you stop jumping when they say “jump”! I’ve come to realize that the last couple of days. Just a thought…

On second thought, I’m gonna leave the office now… so what if it’s 15 minutes early….they’ll survive…

2004-09-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

They say it’s in times of need that you start realizing who your true friends really are. They are the ones who’d stand by you through thick and thin. They are the ones who know you better than you know yourself. The ones who are “tuned into your frequency” so finely, that they know when something’s wrong, without you having to tell them.

What has happened to those friends of mine? I started spring cleaning my life this weekend…and now there’s nothing (no-one) left.

Dear friends,
Do you know that my dad has been in hospital since Saturday and that things are not looking good? It’s worsening to the extent that not enough blood is reaching his brain.
Do you know that I spent most of my time since Saturday at the hospital, even though I’m also sick as a dog, but can’t afford to stay home incase something happens to my dad?
Do you know that I’ve been trying since Saturday to find someone to comfort me, but no one is listening?
Do you know that my cell phone has been off for the last 2 days, and no one seems to notice?
Do you know about the wheel I burst on the highway in peek traffic?
Do you know that when you get upset with people because they can’t see your pain, they turn around and tell you to stop using them as punch bags?
Do you know that when you take someone on, they tell you to “vlieg in jou moer in”?
Do you know that I broke up with the guy from the Cape, because there’s only room for one person in his life, and that’s himself?
Do you know that I have had ENOUGH… but then again…WHO CARES??????????????

2004-09-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

"Shallow men believe in luck...Strong men believe in cause and effect..."

So they broke into my dad’s house and our offices last night. By my “tone of voice” you can gather that I’m not really upset/surprised/mad… or anything. Nah, I’m getting so used to it, it’s not even funny anymore. Luckily the alarm went off and the suckers got a fright and ran away. My dad’s briefcase is still lying in the garden. We’re not allowed to touch it and see if anything’s missing, cause they haven’t taken finger prints yet (they phoned at 10am, and said they were “on their way”…I wonder if they’re coming from Durban?)

One of my friends emailed me this morning, asking what I regard as “my purpose on this earth”. It kinda got me thinking. I haven’t come up with anything yet. Hmmm… Maybe I’m not as special and invincible as I thought. Maybe there was just a few “human spares” left, and so it was put together to form me. Interesting concept…

I wonder if you’re considered to be a “bad person” if you thrive on revenge. As soon as I get hurt or feel like I’m not being treated fairly, I start plotting these thoughts in my head…knowing that I won’t feel better until I’ve… well, I can’t really say until I’ve taken revenge, cause more times than none, the other person usually doesn’t know about it…but at least it makes me feel better. How can I explain this…? Let’s just say “if they find out about it”, they’ll be…well, hurt I suppose… I guess this doesn’t quite make sense to you? Don’t fret, I know what I mean. I’m in one of “those” moods again today. Feel like I have to…do something… Just don’t know what yet…

I’m gonna go feed myself now…feed myself to the lions…hahaha. Just kidding, I’m hungry. Feel a Wimpy breakfast coming up (12:54 pm).

2004-09-01T14:36:00.000-07:00

“When I look into the future, it’s so bright it burns my eye…”

(I wish)

Wednesday…or little Saturday (what a dumb term).

Went to the drive-in last night, thus didn’t get nearly enough sleep. Got impatient with the maid cause she was late for work this morning, then I realized… “Hey, the maid doesn’t work on a Wednesday”. Sigh…yeah; I was convinced it was Thursday. But alas!

It’s been another hectic day! Two days in a row, my study-plans just didn’t work out… I did a full chapter this morning…the idea was to revise at least 6! Oh well, nothing much I can do about it.

Weirdly enough, it hasn’t rained today. It ALWAYS rains on the 1st of September…or if it doesn’t rain, it’s still damn cold. Why do I figure that? Well, Spring-day at school is casual day. When we for one day, leave the smurfie socks and uniforms in the closet, and wear “civies” (alias civilian clothing). It used to be a big deal back then. “What are you gonna wear?” was the topic of discussion right through the month of August. And then, came September, everyone was braving the day in their skimpy new summer outfits…and froze to death the whole day. Fun fun fun…brings back memories…

I’m so tired, I can’t even think in English today… guess I’d better stop now… Yeah, I’m gonna go home and sleep…

Wait wait wait…one last thing… I told mr “Capie” that next weekend is the only weekend I can come visit him this month. If that doesn’t suit him, he’ll have to wait till the 3rd weekend in October; only then will I be available then. Would love to see his reaction. I know he was considering going to visit his folks that weekend…so I’m quite curious to see where I fit in his list of “priorities”…

That’s all for now…

2004-08-27T13:25:00.000-07:00

“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket…”

Friday!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooohooooooooooooooooo!!! Finally!! Wow….what a week!!

Come to think of it…I haven’t even blogged about last weekend…feels so long ago! Okay, let’s sort that out immediately.

Friday was one of those neverending days… waiting impatiently for time to tick-tick-tick by, so that I could fetch the capie at the airport. Got home at about 00:30 and (almost) immediately went to bed…

Saturday morning was kicked off with a heartily breakfast at Wonderboom Airport… omelettes with ham and cheese… Our confused waiter brought us toasted ham and cheese instead…we were not impressed and of course insisted that it be rectified straight away. Funny enough, we never saw our waiter for the rest of the morning…I have a funny feeling that he’s not working there anymore.

From there we set course to Mount Amanzi, Hartebeespoort dam. Nice resort with rivers, dams, luscious trees, the perfect getaway. The rest of the day was spent driving around, watching the rugby, and waiting for my brother to join us. Saturday night we had a braai…well, sort of… Seeing that the sun hardly ever shines in the Cape, “Capie” was so thrilled with the prospect of making fire, that he kept on stacking and stacking the wood, everytime it was almost ready to put the meat on… So eventually we ended up braaing our meat on the gas braai, while “Capie” was building his bonfire. Fun fun fun.

Sunday morning we went up the Cable way, (nice and windy, very scary gondolas!!), then we went for a tour at De Wildt Cheetah farm. If I knew in advance that it was gonna take 3 hours, I might have reconsidered doing it…But anyways, was not bad…

Monday (my birthday!! Woooohoo!!) the two men in my life made me breakfast, then we headed back home. The night we had a get-together at a Chinese restaurant… Credit is given to my best bud for the piece below…

Being the "experience" lover i am, i had the time of my life last night, as i was treated to a true japanese dinner. not the typical tourist kind, thus allowing me to really experience the culture. starting off with sushi and caviar with a soya dip and some green stuff that would burn lucifer out of hell, taken through the whole course including a soup with "curo tao", a good salad, prawns made just like i love it, fillet flame grilled with an excellent japanese sause. ending with deep fried milk. scary at first sight, but every bit as divine as the waitress.

A night very much appreciated, and thanx goes to my pic for the idea. learning ever more of the eastern culture. looking at the lovely waitress explaining the chop stix theory to me again, i can't help to wonder: if they manufacture all these great technological wonders in japan, why did they struggle so much to get a spoon right?

Afterwards I had to race to the airport to get “Capie” there in time (7 minutes before the boarding gates closed!!!) for his flight… Sigh…

2004-08-26T00:40:00.000-07:00

“One of those days” is none of these days…

Woke up with a song in my heart this morning. Opened my curtain to witness the first spring rain… What a joy! 7:45 I walked to my car (15 minutes earlier than usual…what a bargain! No need to rush to work…). I got into my car, put my bag on the floor of the passenger seat…and then I got the funny feeling that something was…different. Why were all the papers that belong in my cubbyhole lying on the seat next to me? For a split second I thought someone was pulling a practical joke on me…But then it hit me: “someone was in your car, girl!!!” I looked back and my fear became a reality… I had no back window left!! My window was shattered on my backseats!! A cold hand clenched my heart as I tried to remember what I had left in my car the night before… I immediately felt under the passenger seat (I realized that I forgot my handbag there yesterday afternoon). Yeah, it was gone!!! Luckily I took my wallet and the memory card for my camera out the day before yesterday. But my passport was in there!!!! Bastards!! Now that’s the second passport that went missing. Lovely, I’ve been all over the world and I’ve got nothing to show for it!!! But that’s not all…. I have a built-in carphone in my car…well…HAD I mean. The idiots cut the cord and stole the handset!! Donno what they’re planning on doing with it, seeing that the rest of the phone is mounted under my seat!! They even unplugged my dad’s (ohoh!!) battery charger from the boot, stole my leather jackets, a pair of ostrich leather boots (that was made especially for me by an old friend), towels, duvets etc. What a sh*tty feeling!!! And of course the police never showed up to take a statement. Luckily I was not in any danger…they are so freaken useless!!!

2004-08-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

“Difficulties come not to obstruct, but to instruct…”

Wow, blogging two days in a row… that explains why the weather is so eerie today.

Not much to say, still very tired, worse than yesterday. This is due to the fact that Mr Cape Town informed me last night that he can’t come through this weekend anymore. Any other weekend I would forgive him, but my BIRTHDAY weekend? No no no!! Everything has already been booked, arranged, planned, paid, etc etc. So last night I was too grouchy to sleep. But this morning he phoned me and said he managed to get out of his all important inauguration on Friday (he got elected as some “voorsitter of some or another important thing” in Somerset West. Just show how much I paid attention (I don’t listen well when I’m miserable).

So now everything is hunky dory again. I think I’m in the wrong line of work. I’m not supposed to be a PA or a commercial pilot; I must be an “Events Planner”. Nothing gives me more satisfaction that being hectically busy planning…well…anything! The more challenging, the better.

2004-08-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

Today is one of THOSE days… Mad at the world. Fed-up with everyone that exists. Pissed of with everything that breathes… What a lovely feeling!!!

It all started on Saturday morning. Woke up to a sms from my ex, asking me why on earth he can’t manage to stop thinking about me. Seeing that I was in cape town, cuddled up with the “latest mr right”, the sms was not truly appreciated. To cut a long story short, he sms’d me a couple of times during the week, telling me how bad he feels about the way things ended, begging me to give our friendship another chance. Sucker for punishment I am, I agreed. Big mistake. I actually believed that he changed, that he was talking sense for a change. Donno if he was drunk when we had the conversation, but he is indeed behaving…well…like he usually does! Ignoring my messages, not answering my questions, asking me what the hell the issue is when I loose my cool. I really don’t have the energy for this all over again!! Maybe if it was a month or two earlier, when I was still shaken up about us – maybe then it could have been different. But I have had enough!! “Shame on you if you fooled me once, shame on me if you fooled me twice…” Capishe????

I just want to go home, crawl up in bed, and wake up next year Wednesday…is that too much to ask??

2004-07-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

Wow, I see the last attempt I made to write in this blog was on 27 May 2004. I only got as far as writing the date before I stopped. I suppose it’s time I get my butt into gear and start catching up. Need to scroll through my archive first to see where I stopped…

Come to think of it, not much has happened in the last 2 months. Commercial ground school is finally over, but I haven’t written any of my subjects yet. Maybe the fact that I haven’t had time to study yet, might have something to do with it. The idea was to write at least 5 subjects the 3rd week of August, but so far, nothing has come of it. I must just add that I wanted to start studying on a few occasions, but then my reading glasses went missing and…err…yeah, it might sound like a poor excuse, but I can’t study without them! Ten minutes and I end up with the world’s worst migraine! That’s also part of the reason why I’ve neglected my blog. But I got my new glasses yesterday, so I’m back in action!

I have so much work to do. A few weeks ago I spent a week in bed (bronchitis and tonsillitis), then I came back to work for a week, and then I went on leave for another week. And since then, I just can’t seem to catch up on my work! Luckily the bookkeeper just phoned…he’s gonna be a bit late for our 12 o clock appointment. Seeing that it’s 12:25 already, I kinda figured that one out on my own. At least it gives me a bit more time to blog.

Having coffee with Lezanne after work. Haven’t seen her in ages! Should be interesting. After that it’s “safety eve” at the flying school. Yup, they’re trying to make better pilots out of us…not much luck yet ;)

I was in Cape Town this weekend…going this coming one as well. Yeah yeah, of course it has something to do with a guy…why else would a girl fly 1000km’s far twice in one week?!? Oh well, some might call me crazy (I sometimes even agree with them), but this time I took a chance and it might just work out for a change. Am just very disappointed in myself that I went up Table Mountain without my camera. I must just add that the batteries were flat and we weren’t actually planning to go there.

Just realized that this month has a “Friday the 13th”…ohoh… The Klerksdorp airshow is that weekend. I’m not superstitious or anything, but I think I’ll give the 13th a miss and rather go on the 14th. That’s of course if I can find a plane and the necessary $’s in time. I’m so gatvol of everyone owing me money! In the end I’m the one who suffers just because I tried to help. No more of that though! No more Mr.…err… No more miss nice miss!! (Or something like that)

I’m getting so bored with my life. Stuck in a job I don’t like, mingling with people who irritate me, not making progress with my flying etc etc. At this stage it feels like I’m just “existing” and not “living”…. Sigh.

2004-05-26T03:55:00.000-07:00

“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing…”

Okay, where was I? According to a survey they’ve done, the ideal place to meet a guy (or girl) is not in a club/bar/disco, but rather in a bookshop/grocery store. I’m not so sure I agree with that. No offense, but the kinda guys that hangs out in the science fiction department of a bookshop on a Friday night…I have my doubts about them. And how do you start a conversation in a grocery store? “Erm…hi…can you help me pick out a perfect cucumber?” Somehow I don’t think so.

I’ve seen it happen in the movies though… A beautiful vulnerable lady, pushing her trolley, when this hunk of a greek god comes around the corner and accidentally bumps her trolley with his… Of course the chemistry is immediate, and they end up living happily ever after… Yeah right. If it happens in real life there’ll be a court case pending before the end of the day… Just a thought…use it, don’t use it…

Anyhow, enough with the mishy mashy stuff…back to real life…

Barry Hilton last night was hilarious!! My cheek muscles are still sore from all the laughing. It’s true that laughter is the best medicine…just wish the doc could prescribe it more often…

2004-05-25T06:17:00.000-07:00

“Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul…”

Today is just one of those days…like the neverending story…it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on… and every 15 minutes nothing happens, and then it continues for an hour…

The last 2 hours in a working day are usually the worst. For some reason I can only keep myself busy until about 13:30…from there on it’s pure torture. And it’s not like my work is finished and I can afford to sit around and be bored…Oh no, it’s just that I come to a stage where I honestly can’t concentrate/focus anymore, and the mere thought of going on with my work exhausts me… And the more I do nothing, the more frustrated I get… it’s like a vicious circle…

Looking forward to tonight…The “Barry Hilton Show”… my cousin…!! Hope he manages to fit a few drinks with us somewhere into his hectic schedule.

I need a weekend. I was contemplating doing nothing this coming weekend, but knowing me, that’s impossible… So I’m off to Nelspruit to go help my brother with the final touch ups at his place. Maybe a bit of painting and decorating could do me good…it’s apparently very therapeutic… just look at your stereotype designers/decorators…they always seem pretty gay…. (err…”gay” in this context meaning “happy”)

I read a very interesting article in Men’s Health yesterday. According to a survey they’ve done, the ideal… (gotta run to the post office, will continue tomorrow)

2004-05-21T01:58:00.000-07:00

“None is as deaf as he who will not hear…”

Wow, this new flying school I found rules! I just came back from coffee with the owner! How’s that, hey? He even printed out my flightplan on Easy Plan…now that’s what I call service. Gonna take ZS-EOZ for a few circuits this afternoon, just to get used to handling her…

I’m curious to see her perform tomorrow. She better be fast, otherwise we won’t be back before dark…and I don’t have a night rating…ohoh…

I don’t feel like working today. I have had a long week, and would love to just pack up and go home…but I can’t…too much work! *sigh*

2004-05-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

“Leadership is influence…”

I have new-founded respect for people who start working anytime before 8:30 am.

I was at the office until 6pm last night, then left for the airport, had class from 18:30 to 22:00, got home, had supper, went to bed, woke up at 6 am, and have been slaving away in the office since 7pm *yawn*. So that might explain why I’m bunking class tonight. I must just add that there’s only one chapter left, which we’ll probably finish in half an hour, but to stick around the office for another 2 hours after work, doesn’t justify one chapter’s worth. Guess self-study will be in the order of the day.

I still need to do flight planning for Saturday, so that’s another reason why I need to go home today. Can’t leave it for tomorrow afternoon, cause last second flight planning has proven to be disastrous to say the least. Note to myself: Remember to phone the flying school and make sure they fill up the aircraft after the last flight tomorrow. By the time the fuel bay opens on Saturday, I want to be up and away already.

Another drawback about starting to work early is that our cleaning lady is not here yet, which means that if I want coffee…I have to get it myself! Nah, I’m sure I can survive another 24 minutes without it…

The weekend is almost upon us…my first weekend at home in the last 2 months…wow. You’d think I’d be wondering what to do with myself…but the air show on Saturday and a bit of compulsory studying on Sunday, has taken care of that dilemma.

I have come to the realization that I can’t survive without coffee after all…I’ll be back…

2004-05-19T01:40:00.000-07:00

“No once can make you feel inferior without your consent…”

This day started off bad…but it quickly got better after a Wimpy breakfast. We’ve decided to make it a daily ritual…because face it; no one can function properly on an empty stomach. We now call it “office parties”…it sounds a bit more formal…

Comm. class last night was a nightmare! I think I was just too tired to concentrate. The last hour I was just pretending to be listening…nothing was sinking in anymore. It’s actually such a futile waste of time in such a case – all I could think of was my bed. Who cares if a great circle is a straight line (how does that make sense?) and a rhumb line is a curved line…except on a Mercator map, when it’s completely the opposite?!? Who the heck was Mercator in any case, and why did he have to be different from the rest of the world?

It sounds like the Rally (plane, not dirty cars) might be ready for a test flight by Friday (holding thumbs!!) Can’t wait to get her in the air again. Am considering flying her down to Pietersburg on Saturday… will be much more challenging than the Cherokee… And then I won’t have to worry about flying back in the dark, cause the Rally is fast enough to get us back before sunset.

I feel excited about something…but I don’t know what… I love this feeling…

2004-05-18T01:42:00.000-07:00

“A horse that pulls an honest load has no time to kick…”

I am astounded that the lightning didn’t take out all our computers yesterday afternoon. It was only this morning that I completely grasped the severity of yesterday’s storm. Driving to work after a heartily Wimpy breakfast (Hasbrown Splashdown with extra cheese), I felt like I was driving on the movie set of some European film… People were actually shuffling away ice to get their cars out of the garages! Some of the people were carrying out furniture and putting it in the sun to dry! Poor fellows, their houses were actually flooded! Ice between 30 and 40cm deep were piled up on sidewalks! I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like that in my life!

Luckily the only damage we suffered was a bundle of wet papers (petty cash!!!) in my office. The irony of the matter is that we had the whole roof redone about a month ago…treated with waterproof material and all… Go figure!

Comm. class last night was not all that bad… Except for the fact that I felt a bit threatened… there was another girl in class! How dare she? Since the beginning of the course we were between 12 and 14 guys…plus me… Hmmm… nasty nasty. Luckily she flies at Pietersburg and will only be attending this week’s classes.

Speaking about Pietersburg, Saturday is the Pietersburg airshow… I just hope the weather holds so that we can fly there…

2004-05-17T04:25:00.000-07:00

“To leave footprints in the sands of time, you have to keep on the move...”

Thunder and lighting… something tells me I should rather switch the pc off now… oh well, I never listen, so why start now?

Went to Mozambique this weekend. Don’t wanna talk about it. Have come to the conclusion that all the locals are a bunch of mindless, spineless, ambitionless idiots… a sad fact caused by too much drugs and alcohol. I don’t want to be part of them anymore. I’m starting to wonder how I ever survived in that place. I need a new happy place. It just goes to show once again… expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed, hope for nothing and you won’t get hurt.

I have class again tonight – navigation…Yuk! So far I haven’t managed to get lost (too badly in any case), but I get the feeling there’s a lot more to know than I do now…

I need sleep… Maybe a tranquilizer will do the trick…

2004-05-05T05:34:00.000-07:00

Do not disturb, I am disturbed enough as it is . . .

We meet again…oh faitful…erm…blog-page-thingie…it’s been a while since we chatted. I humbly apologize for neglecting you. I have no excuses…

And here we are…Wednesday afternoon, just after 14:00. Actually it’s 14:17 to be exact. Normally it wouldn’t be an issue, but today it is… I was supposed to tape a movie on movie magic that started at 14:00. I only remembered about it at 14:12… What is a movie without the first 12 minutes? It’s a waste…that’s what it is, is what it is… (Who on earth used to say that? It sounds familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it).

Anyways, it’s another 4-day week in the life of me. I must admit…I am spoiled. Working for one’s dad has its advantages. Next week is only a 3 day week, but I’ll elaborate on that one when we get there. So, back to this weekend…It’s gonna be an exciting one filled with a lot of socializing, fast cars, dirt and hopefully a bit of sun tanning. Yup, the Total Rally is finally upon us… My first rally without “A”… yeah, it’s gonna be weird.

I am so not in the mood for flight planning class tonight. I just want to snuggle up in front of the TV, with a huge bucket of hot chocolate, and just unwind until I fall asleep. No such luck though. Seeing that some of the dudes in my class ask way too many questions, we didn’t quite finish everything we had to last night, which means that tonight is gonna be a late one…

My dad is fetching the Moz-boy from Vereeniging tonight. Luckily I had a brainwave and realized that my dad’s meeting must be closer to Vereeniging than I am now… It saves me a 240km trip…and the way I’m feeling today, I’m not complaining. I didn’t have much sleep last night. I was as nauseous as a chameleon in a tumble drier… just because I forgot to take my medicine two nights ago. It’s amazing how medicine can stuff up your whole system. Or maybe it was the junior chicken burger I got from Cash Bah yesterday afternoon? Was it perhaps my punishment for ordering from the kiddies menu while I’m clearly not a kiddy anymore? I guess I’ll never know…

Enough babbling for now, need to go and bind 2 books before class tonight… it’s the responsibility that comes with a photo copier… nice…

2004-04-19T03:30:00.000-07:00

Whoever invented Mondays should be dragged into the street and shot!

I had a very eventful weekend. Too eventful actually, which explains why I am half asleep at this stage (12:06 pm).

Saturday we had a surprise party for my grandmother on her 80th birthday. Unfortunately, the surprise was on us…! I have come to the realization that I don’t want to grow old. I just want to go to sleep one day in my mid 50’s and never wake up again. (Which is a scary thought; because that’s the age my mom and dad are at now). Just imagine not being able to bath or eat on your own, not recognizing your own children, telling the same story over and over again, because your short term memory is not functioning sharply anymore.
We went to a lovely game farm near Rust de Winter, and managed to hide the whole family until my aunt arrived with my grandma. Then we snuck up behind her and sang “Happy Birthday”. She just sat there…not realizing that we were singing to her. Then she commented that we must be confused, because her birthday was on Thursday and today was Saturday. Shame, she was so overwhelmed the whole day – she didn’t even want to open her presents. Apparently only about an hour after the party, she finally realized that the whole party was actually for her… That is just so sad!! But other than that, the day was quite cool. It is one of the most peaceful places I have ever been to. One of those moments that’s actually wasted if you have no one to share the splendor with…*sigh* It’s so beautiful it’s actually depressing…

Sunday I took my brother and mother to Sun City for the day. The flight there took forever (we had a strong headwind and were not doing much more than 78knots). We had a “near-hit” near Brits, because some clown was not acknowledging Jhb info’s “Do you have the traffic in sight?” questions. Luckily I saw him in time and was able to give full power and climb from 6500” to 6800” in a record time! The flight back was quite challenging. We had a hell-uva tailwind…but from the side… So we were doing about 110 knots, but battling to stay on track. When we were on final approach for 29, the wind was gusting 20 knots. Amazingly, I had one of my best landings yet. My mom didn’t even realize we were already on the ground *grin* I got soooo sunburnt! But it’s my own stupidity…I live under this illusion that my skin is tough and I don’t need any suntan lotion. Once again I have realized that that is not quite the case…

I am starting with my commercial classes again tonight… AT&G…Aircraft technical and general...YUK!! I can already see that I might have to develop some serious illness that lasts from 6pm to 10pm, in order to miss a class or two. *sigh* I don’t care about the technical crap! As long as the aeroplane has enough lift to get off the runway, I am happy.

I have just realized that I have completely lost it. I went to answer the phone, and when I got back to my pc, I put on my sunglasses instead of my reading classes… I don’t think there’s much more I can say…

Today is my last day with my car *sob*. I took her for a proper cleaning session this morning, and right now her wheel alignment is being done… Eish, I’m gonna miss her… so many memories…

2004-04-15T06:15:00.000-07:00

I am a terrible blogger! How am I supposed to think clearly if Pieter Smith and Steve Hofmeyr are chanting “Agter elke man” in the background?

Had a nice long weekend…needed the break! Funny enough, the further I’m away from Pta, the further away my problems seem to be. (Which means that I was slightly depressed last night when I arrived back in the Jacaranda city). But it was cool…did a lot of…nothing. My brother was repainting his house, so the place was a mess! I even managed to get myself stuck in the bathroom (did you know that if the door handle is taken off, and you accidentally close the door too far, well…erm…you can’t get out?!!? And seeing that I don’t take my phone with me when I go to the loo, it was quite funny… knock knock knocking on the bathroom’s door….*chuckle*)

I confronted my ex this morning. Everything is sorted out there. We both ended up in tears…okay okay…almost… and parted with a hug… I feel much better now… as everyone who knows me can testify…I can’t handle “unfinished business”. I sometimes drive even myself mad, but I can’t just “let go”. I need to sort it out before I can move on.

I might be getting a new car!!! Woohooooo! Well, almost new…it’s newer than mine at least! My dad wants to trade his in for a 2.5 turbo…which means I can upgrade from a 2L to a 2L TURBO!! Will have to remember to work extra speeding fine money into my budget…

I am having second thoughts about this afternoon’s cycling episode… My muscles are pretty fragile at this stage… I bought myself one of those “ab-gymnic exercise pants”, and they have been working overtime this weekend… Eish, the price we have to pay for looking perfect *snicker*

Anyhow, time to chaila…

2004-04-07T00:28:00.000-07:00

Wooohooo, I’m in a good mood… 2 days and counting… Have forgotten how it feels…

Why is it that when you’ve got all the time on your hands…there’s nothing you want/need to do, but when you have a lot of things you need to do, you just don’t find the time? I am trying to organize a flight down to the coast. Just me, my co-pilot (donno who yet) and the plane… exploring the unknown…getting ourselves into trouble (believe me, with me in the plane, it happens a lot), basically just gaining experience…and of course, having hell-uva lot of fun in the process.

But my weekends are chaos until this time next year!! Okay okay, not that bad, but almost… This weekend I’m going to nelspruit for Easter, next weekend is my grandma’s 80th birthday (I am NOT allowed to miss it…and actually I’m looking forward to it… Note to myself…find an unsuspected innocent PIC to take with…the family can be a bit much if you have to put up with them for too long). The weekend after that I’m most likely going to Mozambique for the farewell party, the weekend after that is the Total rally…and the weekend after that…you’ve guessed it….Mozambique again… Maybe the weekend after that would be a possibility…?

Now where should I go? I was contemplating going to PE…but after being told that it’s an 8 hour flight, I kinda changed my mind… Margate? Apparently that’s a very tricky place to land…if the weather’s not 200% okay, it might be a bit dangerous… Anyways, enough of that…time will tell.

I got an email from Anina this morning… *sigh* I miss her sooooo much!!

I got my car back yesterday… At least it can drive again…but now it’s pulling to the left… and not just a little!! If I take my left hand of the steering wheel to change gears (my right hand was holding my cell-phone…naughty naughty…), the car basically steers into the next lane… Scary stuff!

Okay, enough babble for one day…time to pretend to be working…hey wait a second, I’m the only one at the office…so who’s gonna know? Hmmm…

2004-04-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

I have been accused of being a lazy blogger. Sigh…always in trouble. Well, as the saying goes – if you can’t beat them, join them!

I am feeling slightly better. I think my life is almost starting to make sense again. With the emphasis on ALMOST…Meaning – there’s still room for improvement. I spoke to my surfer boy in Mozambique this morning. We are both depressed, because he can’t come down to Pta anytime soon, and my plans to go to Mozambique in 2 weeks are also looking less and less promising by the day. I am invited to a farewell party at the end of the month (no, not invited, TOLD that I WOULD attend…) I love it when people make decisions like that on my behalf… But that’s still so FAR away!! Plus there is the risk of bumping into certain people that I don’t really wanna see (seeing that a certain someone is the brother of the farewell-party-dude, chances of that happening is quite big). But then again… who cares? If she has a problem with me…well, check the worry in my navy blue eyes… She’ll just have to deal with it. Stand in line, b*tch!

I took my car in for a service yesterday. The irony of the whole situation…There was nothing wrong with it…but there is now!! (Note to everyone out there who might be bored enough to read this blog: Stay away from Subaru Pretoria!!!). My car went in for a default service…you know, change all the dirty filters, put in some clean oil…or whatever else it is they do to a car on a service. My instructions were NOT to stuff the car up so badly that the “Check engine” warning comes on when I start the car! So now I’m driving around in my baby again…My little Clio… It’s quite amusing to get back into a 1400, if you’re used to a 2L… (Mental note to myself: Remember that your e-tag is still in the Subaru – don’t try the e-tag only lane at the tollgate on the way home…)

I had breakfast with my bank boy this morning. Hmmm….two times in one week…we’re making progress. First one was just a milkshake, second one breakfast…Nice…wonder what’s in store for “date # 3”. Hey, a girl can dream, okay!

My mom is sick…I hate it when she’s sick. Then she’s all depressed and quiet…and I don’t quite know how to deal with that. I want to get her some “kosmosse” on the way home (No Wessel, it’s NOT called Poppies…), but my PIC is apparently MIA. Go figure…

45 mins till chaila time…heeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! I’m gonna cuddle up in front of the tv, and just do NUTTIN for the rest of the day…can’t wait!!

2004-04-05T05:35:00.000-07:00

Monday…Finally…

I used to live for weekends…now I dread them! Two full days…filled with nothing but my thoughts…and I can promise you – that scares the crap out of me! Sure, keeping busy helps…but you can only force yourself to keep occupied for so long…sooner or later you have to come back to reality…

Okay okay, enough moaning… Actually, this weekend was surprisingly painless. Drive-inn on Friday (first show “Something’s gotta give”, Second show….zzzzzzzzzzzzzz), a flight with ZS-MLF on Saturday afternoon (went to Lanseria for a touch and go – it was very weird to sit in the back… argh, I hate not being in control!!) and Presley’s (yeah yeah…don’t ask!) on Saturday eve… it was in fact quite a jol! When I went to bed last night, I was actually disappointed when I realized that it was back to work today.

A 4-day week…not too bad. I was considering going to Mozambique for Easter, but that place is too small on such a long weekend. Not for me, thank you very much. Seeing that my PIC (partner in crime, not pilot in command *grin*) is deserting me to go and play around in the bush, I am considering going to Nelspruit for the weekend. Face it, Pta on a long weekend…majorly boring!!

2004-04-01T02:28:00.001-08:00

All stressed out and no one to choke…

I’m not used to writing about things that bothers me. Yeah sure, I have a journal at home, but that is strictly used to remember all the good things…Apparently that doesn’t quite make sense. I was once asked why I kept a journal, if I wasn’t using it for penning down my anger and frustrations. Well, the way I see it: I want to be able to page through my journal in a few months or years – and if I write down all the downbeat happenings I’d just get depressed all over…and how does that make sense?? Then I was told that you’re not supposed to read a journal again – it’s just supposed to be a venting mechanism… someone who’d listen without judging or interfering… Stuff that! Why do I want to let out everything and get nothing back in return? Talk about a loose-loose situation…go figure! So I’ve decided to just…”blog it”. At least now I can amuse/entertain/scare a few people with my obscene outlook on life…

Ever heard the saying “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans”? (Those corny little anecdotes written at the back of sugar packets). I’ve proved that life happens…regardless of whether or not you’ve made plans. It’s inevitable… so why bother anymore? I think they should print something like “Life sucks, get over it” on the sugar…at least that would make sense.

I thought the 20 something’s are supposed to be the best years of your life!?! (There’s another cliché I can live without!) This is what I have learned:

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are
not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis.
But then you realize that maybe they aren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to
your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

So far…no luck…

2004-04-01T02:28:00.000-08:00

Warning: You read this blog at own risk. The writer will not be held liable for any alcohol abuse, drug addiction or suicide that may result from reading this blog. Please note that all reference to people (dead or alive), animals, events etc. are NOT fictional (although I can assure you that so far no animals have been harmed in the writing of this blog.) So if your name appears in the blog, it is not by accident – no, it means you have p*ssed me off (and lately that has happened a lot, so you can actually feel pretty honored that I deem you disturbing enough to be mentioned)… Oh shucks, I’m GATVOL!! (Thank you, Leon Schuster).

Hey, I feel better already…and I haven’t even started yet! This is gonna be fun…