Grim Realizations

Bluetooth

2008-10-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

I want to start a campaign to give bluetooth headsets to all the crazy hobos who yell to nobody in particular so that instead of thinking they're insane, people will just think they're having really interesting phone conversations.

Watchmen Bite the Dust

2008-07-19T22:26:00.001-07:00

I was at work the day after the Watchmen trailer was released, punch-drunk from lack of sleep, and for whatever reason decided to watch the trailer while Queen's Another One Bites the Dust played in the background. What resulted was an eerily magnificent blend of sight and sound. It starts a little off, but soon everything begins falling together. Watch for yourself while you can, and if the video gets pulled it's easy enough to recreate for yourself (a note: in the video I've uploaded the song begins a second or two after the trailer begins, as this is how I experienced it - clicking play in iTunes, switching to Quicktime and clicking play there obviously created some slight lag, which makes the whole thing just that much more magical).

Yuck.

2008-05-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

Anytime you see a shirt that says "SEXY" across the chest, that shirt is lying.

Clips & Brews

2008-05-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

A shop opened by my apartment that offers haircuts and beer on tap. Hopefully this is merely the first in a line of businesses catering exclusively to alcoholics.

#VH-1

2008-03-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

Richard Page needs to fail at an assassination attempt. How can anyone consider their life complete if they've never seen the headline, "Mr. 'Mr. Mister' Missed Her."

#1882

2008-01-30T12:14:00.000-08:00

Telegram recovered from 1882:

John, stop.
It's your cousin, stop.
Marvin, stop.
Marvin Philip Sousa, stop.
I've found that sound you're looking for, stop.

#Trois

2008-01-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

France is a Sauvignon nation.

#1103

2007-11-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

Daylight Savings Time is a little odd this year. Everyone remember to set your clocks four inches to the left.

#3492

2007-10-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

Sports would be a lot more interesting if the members of the teams were more representative of the team names. For instance, the Jets versus the Giants... awesome.

#3302

2007-10-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

"Bangarang" is generally not an acceptable term for use in corporate meetings.

#5308

2007-10-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

Human beings are destructive by nature; there's no way around it. The key is to create more than we destroy. Art will save our species.

#1010

2007-10-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

You've ordered me to update this
and I feel I must comply,
so I reached into my mind's abyss
and pulled out something wry.

Line after line of cheesy crap
flows from my fingertips,
and before you beat me with a strap
I have to tell you this:

You're the best listener I've ever met,
and you're really quite the pearl.
I hope to death you won't forget
you're my favorite emo girl.

Happy birthday.

An actual blog post!

2007-10-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

After 12+ hours on the road:

We stopped in Mount Shasta to make it so the car could start again - I failed to see why.
Fears arose that I may not be able to cross the California border successfully because I never bought the expansion pack.
Jimmy died of dysentery shortly after crossing the Oregon border.
There was a short trip to the Moon(s over My-Hammy).
We crossed the Hudson River.
We discovered that the homeless and destitute in Washington are more well-rounded than the average Californian.
We had a layover in Austin.
There's a mysterious box with a hole in it on Sky's porch. It appears he has completed the first step of "a gift real special;" Alys checked it and it appeared there was no junk inside.

Sleep requests my presence now, more to come later.

#4701

2007-10-03T10:31:00.001-07:00

I dreamed about you years ago.

#2216

2007-09-24T13:02:00.001-07:00

You can suck a lollipop but you can't suckafish!

#3013

2007-09-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world like this: ><

#n

2007-09-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

^ Like everything else in life, these numbers are pretty much completely arbitrary.

#4021

2007-09-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

You can make any weapon infinitely more awesome by adding "-breathing dragon" to the end.

e.g. Dagger, rocket, chainsaw.

Hiatus

2007-09-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm back!

#2082

2007-06-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

As fun as constrictive writing formats may be, I think it may be time for a re-conceptualization.

#840

2007-05-25T13:06:00.000-07:00

Puppies would be terrible currency.

Posted while: Trying to breed a litter so I can pay my cell phone bill.

#575

2007-05-23T20:40:00.001-07:00

Writing an epic story in haiku form is harder than it sounds. And it sounds fucking hard.

#1421

2007-05-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

I have to wait all summer to find out!

#1120

2007-05-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

I've been anxiously waiting nine years for the sequel to a video game.

#4026

2007-05-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

In retrospect, moving the Earth closer to the sun because she was cold was probably a bad idea.