Funnyman Tapan Trivedi

On Being Naked

2005-07-21T13:24:00.000-07:00

ON BEING NAKED :-
SHAME SHAME PUPPY SHAME !!
SHAME SHAME PUPPY SHAME !!

The chants still reverberate in my ears. I was 4 years old and it was my first foray into school. I was enrolled at Reubs Babyland Nursery school which was a pre school to which my parents enrolled me in. Prior to that my entire socialization hinged on my parents who doted me and my playmates who also doted me – after all I had the ‘magical power’ of being able to put little sticks in my long hair and making it stay. Needless to say I enjoyed the ‘hero’ status amongst my small audience. Even back then I had fun entertaining people. Now that I think about it that IS why I have grown my hair . As a backup plan if I start bombing on stage.

(The picture to the side IS me as a kid naked with my uncle - I was two).

Prior to going to school I had no concept of the fact that taking off your clothes might not be a good thing unless nature says so. I had no concept of ‘societal rules’ . The only laws I knew were the ones that nature enforces like if you sit on a nail your ass hurts , if you slap a monkey it WILL slap you back and dogs don’t like if you try to climb on their backs using their long wiggly ears . You know things like that.
My parents decided to put me to pre school mainly to give a rest to my mom who was tired of cleaning up after me. My first day of school was incidentless except for the fact that I kept on looking through the window and saw my father’s face there – parents were allowed to stand at the window to see how their precious ones were doing – kinda like a training school for puppies except two legs instead of four. It was on my second day that I did something that changed me for a long time. I really don’t remember why I did it but I took ALL OF MY CLOTHES OFF during class. I just felt like it I suppose. There were no ants in my pants, no need to go su-su (Indian or atleast Gujarati for pee pee) no discernible reason at all. Just did it like a future burner should and almost instantaneously I had all the people look at me in shock and disbelief. Other kids in the class were kinda stupefied. I guess they were all well taught as to why NOT to take their clothes off.
This is the first time I remember the feeling of something being wrong and not knowing what it was. I thought maybe they did not know how to take their clothes off. Idiots. That is when the laughter and the hands on the face thing began. A lot of the kids started putting their hands on their faces to depict the ‘felt’ shame. Then the boys started chanting.

SHAME SHAME PUPPPY SHAME
SHAME SHAME PUPPPY SHAME
SHAME SHAME PUPPPY SHAME
( the second and the third p in puppy was emphasized)

Instantly I sprung into action. I ran off to the end of the classroom and stood in a King Jeremyesque pose facing the corner. My teacher came over to my side to help me dress up. She was mildly annoyed by the fact that a kid in her classroom did that but I am thankful that she clothed me. I still remember the end of her saree (‘pallu’) falling on me and comforting me.
The next day onwards it was the same chants again before class , during assembly , during recess and AFTER class. It stopped after I beat up another kid for saying that. I guess violence does have its place in the playground. I was punished for the fight by having to stand in the corner and putting the trashcan over my head. Not as in wearing the trashcan just putting it on my head as in carrying it – a standard punishment leftover from the British ‘raj’.

I never took my clothes off in public after that.
Not at the river in the village when EVERY kid swam naked. Tapan wore pants.
Not while being in the forest and having to ‘go’. Tapan exercised mind over bladder.
Not while being at the pool in the USA. Tapan wore pants AND a t shirt.

Read tomorrow for the derobing of Tapan at Flipside in Austin ,TX.

Yoga and Why Breathing is important !!

2005-07-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

This weekend was an amazing one. Atleast for me. I am slowly realizing what it means to be truly devoted to one person and what it means to BE WITH someone. I enjoy all the wonderful time we spend doing stuff or doing absolutely nothing. Mandy is someone I feel absolutely comfortable doing NOTHING with. I can just sit down and read and her reading something completely different and feel this fantastic glow emanating from her which brings so much joy - much more than the stupid 'Who let the blogs out?' book I am reading now

Now on to the main event.We went to the temple again on Sunday . After a fleeting misdirection we reached the temple and the ceremony and chanting was just beginning. The chants of the Maha Mantra was something that I found very satisfying. We talked to a woman name Bhakti who had essentially quit everything in her life her grown up kids, business, house etc to take up the life of a 'sanyasin' i.e. devote herself to Lord Krishna. Interesting perspective on the movement. She said something about the soul being the primary vehicle and it goes from body to body to body as we change clothes or cars. Interestingly going from body to body to body is something I describe as being single. We sat with another couple from Tucson Tad and Elena who were transplants from Michigan and Oregon .

Bhatki came and sat with us while we were having the wonderful vegan feast . She talked about how the Hindus believe that we have a limited number of breaths rather than a limited amount of time . This is why the slowing down of breaths is extremely important. That is why the crux of any Yoga practice should be the control of the breath ALONG with any other goals you might have such as flexibility, developing strength or just staring into the nice full ass of the woman bending in amazing poses in front of you. Don't forget to breathe. They actually say that in the Yoga classes. I always found that interesting. Jeez sorry, if you wouldn't have told me I would not have known at all huh !!! Remember to breathe. Now I know why they say that.

We also saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with our friends Tom and Summer and Chad and Amy Lehrman. It was a delight to see the movie and go to dinner afterwards with Chad and Amy. Tom seemed to go home cause he was not doing well. That seems to be an ongoing theme for him. Getting sick and going home. He left at the Dambe project as he was not doing well. He left right after the movie cause he was not doing well . Hey Tommy - hope you feel better . Change the herbs. Seems they ain't working......

One interesting sideline conversation with Bhakti was that how the people who cook at the temple need to know the EXACT quantities of spices to mix because they are not allowed to taste or smell the foods. This is because they are cooking the food for Krishna first and without offering him the food they cannot consume the same. I remember my mom running to the altar at home at times while cooking to 'ask for forgiveness' if she tasted the food.

Aftermath of Death of a comic

2005-07-12T13:25:00.000-07:00

A good comedian passed away yesterday. Freddy Soto was his name. I got into a weird headspace and this is what happened. Verbatim. This took place on the SFComedy Yahoo Group.

The mail announcing the news :-

Sad news- Freddy Soto passed away Sunday, July 10. He was a GREAT comedian and a great person as well. I barely knew him, but he was always nice to me and was incredibly funny. He will be missed. -Matt Walker

My First Email Regarding the issue :-

Life goes on - Regardless !! Tapan

The rebuttal from Manny Maldonado who is Freddy Soto's very good friend !!

First of all I want to thank whoever designed this forum for comics. I like the way many of you help out each other. I dont know all the comedians from this group, but the ones I do know are good people. My friend Freddy Soto passed away on early Sunday morning. He leaves behind many friends and a loving family. He was a class act on and off stage! I'am offended as well as my friends, by what Tapan Trivedi said about Freddy Soto. If you dont know him dont say something stupid like his catch phrase! I dont mean to be rude, I just dont like nobody popping off ( trying to be cute) I would like Tapan to be a man and apologize on this forum! If he doesnt than so be it! Grace White keep up the great work! sincerely Manny Maldonado

My reply to the same :-

Manny, I just saw this. I do not know you but I can feel your pain. I met Freddy in Houston at the Laff Stop. If there was one thing I knew about him was that he loved life. He got me drunk of tequilas more than any human being has. Also I had just came back from India attending to my father's illness which was death threatening (He has since passed away due to the same illness).Any way that 'catch phrase' of his was extremely healing due to the fact that my father has the same way of saying 'wrong English' phrases . He pronounced finance, mobile (like the city in Alabama) etc incorrectly. That is why I remember the 'regardless' jokes more than any other jokes he did. However I completely accept the responsibility of missing the fact that others might be offended by this and apologize profusely to you and anyone else that has been offended. Sincerely, Tapan Trivedi

Manny's Mail to the same :-

Its all good apology accepted! I was probably acting more on my emotion, and thats my fault. Its water under the bridge, if you get a chance to work with me or vise-versa I'll buy you a drink! take care Manny!

Rest in Peace Freddy Soto. Rest in Peace.
Sincerely,
Tapan Trivedi
Going Beyond Apu !!

Drumming, Fasting, Dancing and ISKCON.

2005-07-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

Friday Night :-

*Due to a joyous occasion in our life we decide to go to the Hindu temple.
*Got there just before the curtain closes.
*Gave Mandy a refresher in Hindu mythology and differences between Ram and Krishna and Shiva and why a monkey is my God.
*Got talking with a couple of devotees who offered up 'prasadam' and invited us to a couple of things happening there. We liked the place. Serene , quiet - it does not bring me closer to God per se but it helps me to be closer to HER.
*Went to Govinda restaurant which is THE best place to get Vegan and vegetarian food in Tucson.
* Went home and watched Harold and Maude on DVD. I think the young actor in Harold and Maude looks just like Frankie Muniz - only this one can actually act.

Saturday

Owing to the orbit of Saturn in my stars I decided to fast on Saturdays. This is a liquid fast which means I am allowed to take liquids. We spent about 6 hours from 12 till 6 at the Epic Cafe on 4th avenue in Tucson. Excellent place but I was DYING of hunger. Went home and put on TV where Mandy decided to take the remote (Horror of the loss of power!!) and put the TV ON THE FOOD NETWORK !!!!! WOLFGANG PUCK AND some Japanese dingbat cooking up all kinds of delicacies. I have never been so tempted there. Despite the fact that I ate a couple of pieces of toast at the Cafe I considered myself to be still fasting. That put a HUGE dent in my will power. At night we went to my buddy Tom's Dambe party at the Lucky Studios. Had some difficulty finding the place but once we found it it was fun. We stayed there till midnight where we ran into Ken, Sid etc Burners fromTucson. Went to Congress Club where another Burner was playing in a Flamenco band. Excellent music. Danced a lot. Looked for Tom before we left for Congress but I guess he had already left with Summer. Around midnight I took my first beer (alchoholic drinks are also not allowed in fasting). Ate popcorn at Congress to actually break my fast. After the shindig ended we went to a 24 hour Mexican restaurant where I went back to my carnivorous ways by eating Chicken Tacos. Mandy looked good enough to eat so I did later on.

Sunday :-

Had a lazy lazy morning where we just lounged around in bed. After a brief breakfast we left for Mt.Limmon. Totally Mandy thing - something that I would not have done on my own. On our return we went to Hooters - Mandy's first time. It was interesting that our server did not give us the famous 'Hooters' Hello'. I guess some things DO change once you are a couple. I am at work as of this writing . I am a little bit worried about my friend Stephan as he has not returned any of my calls and was feeling generally low on life yesterday.

On Stupor - Meal Induced and otherwise !

2005-07-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

It starts with a heavy meal or a wonderful ecstatic and yet a draining fuck. It starts either around the upper part of a belly or just above the crotch. You can almost hear the assembly line whirring at a painstakingly slow pace to produce the stupor juice. It spreads slowly through the body , climbing on to the blood platelets to reach the far reaching corners of the body (not that my body has any corners - its pretty well rounded) and then evaporating and reaching those where blood can't go. How else do you explain me smelling stupor ? It takes my agility, my motivation and my senses with it . Where it takes those things I don't know . Maybe cause it took my senses with it. My head tilts back and forth. I turn off the phone with a herculean effort because I know that the ringing will hurt. Badly. Very badly.

I turn the sounds off on the computer. Then I turn off the computer. My eyes are getting heavier and heavier as if under the effect of a really bad hypnotist. I slouch in my chair in front of the dark monitor. I slouch down till I can only see my eyes and my hair in my reflection. Anyone seeing me from behind will have to look real closely to determine my existence. I lay there comfortably. Listening to the audible hum of monitors in other cubicles, the whirring of the track ball on the mouse and the random keystrokes - I droop some more.

It is a delicate balance that I try to maintain . Any more drooping and I will fall off and out of the stupor induced euphoria. Any less and I will still fall out of the stupor induced euphoria. Now my eyes are sliding shut. I see the back of my eyelids and the faint hint of light somewhere, somplace - far away. I take deeper and deeper breaths. Once again the trick is to NOT go too far and snore. Snoring technically puts you in the sleeping category and you can't bill for sleeping time. That is why stupor is so cool .

YOu can be perfectly happy and still earn money at the same time. I start drifting in and out. My head tilting is more pronounced. It reminds me of the time when I have participated in the unruly practice of candy flipping.

A small burp escapes the gullet and the esophagus and the Gods of stupor have smiled on you again. It starts again. You go down , down , down. Then I realize in the back of my mind. Where reason and logic and brain function are housed as roomies. I have to go home. I have to go to Mandy. I will have sex. I will love her . Then I will be drained and stuporous again. Long live stupor.

On being left brained and right brained..........

2005-06-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

Being naked is something I did as a child. Endlessly. It was hard for me to keep my clothes on. Mainly because taking them off was easy and I did not have the skills to put it back on and society hadn't put its shades on me yet. As yet I was primal and to a point innocent (not to the bugs I chased and tried to 'catch' but couldn't - all I am saying is that innocence is relative . A tiger cub killing a small lamb is still innocent to the tigress !)

I remember being outside in our small backyard and playing in mud for hours. In fact I learnt my first script writing in the sand outside my house in Ahmedabad. I wrote a small Java script to capture code from existing websites and put it in my sandbox. OF COURSE, I jest. It was Cobol. Java wasn't even invented yet.

I was a leftie then. But I wrote from right to the left - like the writings in those Arabic languages. My father hated the moslems and thought I would become one . So he put a glove on my left hand. I wrote by my right hand. My handwriting is horrible to this day. Thanks to the advent of computers I am understandable .

But to this day I wonder if I was just simply left handed then would I have developed the artistic side or would I be a cold calculated left brain thinker . I am reminded of the Nobel Prize winner Roger Sperry's observation on a patient whose middle part of the brain (the one connecting the left and right) was removed and it was found that he could identify a pencil by the right hand and eye but could not use it and could instinctively use and demonstrate a pencil by the left hand but could not tell what it was. (Both of his hands could jack off himself without a problem- hey after all there is only one true master)

I thank my parents for fucking up my brain function and making me unpredictable - even to myself. Thats one reason why I have been thrown out of many clubs, am writing this at 1:30 a.m. while my lovely wife is sound asleep. I don't know what I will do next. I may go to bed, watch informercials, blog some more, go and work on my databases, write a letter to my senator , jack off (AGAIN) - hey the wife is asleep and not much I can do about it anymore, write a letter to my senator about crappy quality of infomercials,or ruminate some more. I chose ruminating.

What would have happened ? I just can't see myself without my artistic side. That is what makes me normal. That is what makes me alive and most importantly that is what makes me HUMAN. I work in the IT field where more and more of the programs are written to act like humans (with chaos theory introduced to reduce the effect of entropy - geeks , nerds correct me if I am wrong ) and more and more humans are expected to work like machines. THis paradox completely baffles me. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU WANT A HUMAN BEING TO BE ANYTHING BUT ? If you destroy humanity at its most elemental level then you are a savage and I salute your savagery - now go back to the jungle you crawled back from and let me enjoy my HBO, Rembrandt and Jenna Jameson (Don't judge me, the wife is asleep) . So here is the crux of the problem -- as the week ends and I go back to the humdrum of the societal chaos sipping my coffee and performing my daily chores of flipping off my fellow citizens on my way to work I am reminded of a time when I was a child . This memory fills me with joy. Also the undisputable fact that most of the children brought up today will go through the same or similar rights of passage and will become (hopefully!!) like me - funny, smug and absolutely nuts.

My wife today asked me a question - "Honey, would you sing to the baby when he/she is in the womb ?" to which I replied "Do you want it to come out ?" but the elemental truth about it is that I believe the story of Abhimanyu who was tought 6 chapters out of 7 of warfare while he was in his mothers' womb by his uncle . I would not teach my child warfare but rather teach it the values that I hold dear such as cleanliness of mind, essential balance of the universe, the concept of universal brotherhood, the importance of hard work and how to avoid it, and lastly how to be funny ! That being said I don't care how cute the princess is she is NOT wearing my dresses and my shoes !! Thanks for reading my nonsensical ramblings. Now post a comment.

Love, Tapan Trivedi

2005-06-23T17:08:00.000-07:00

Miami Dade County

Miami Dade County Interview

2005-06-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

I interviewed with Miami Dade county for an Oracle DBA position. Being a tech whore that I am I always keep my options open and hence try to get an interview atleast every two weeks. This time it was Miami Dade county and I SLAMMED the interview. I was their FIRST choice. Also the instability at Cardsystems Inc did not help me try and stay . But wait there's more. Vitaver consulting - through whom I am going to go to the county told me that I will have to

1) Do a self administered drug test (redundant ??)
2) GO through an independent fingerprinting criteria
WHOA !!

Most of all NONE of these two were mentioned in the Statement of Work that we signed and agreed upon. For about 85$ an hour in Miami sounded good but this killed it for me. What would you do ? Please comment on this one .

I am not blaming Vitaver. They are excellent and professional in their conduct and I liked the CEO's personality. The recruiter was good too.

I am not blaming Miami Dade either. They are technically excellent and professional people.

Mainly I think its one of the procedural mistakes/omissions that I admit even I could make if I was in their position.

Sincerely,
Tapan

2005-06-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

Hanuman Chalisa

About Relegion, Creationism , Evolution , Monkeys and Gods.

2005-06-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

Last night I talked to my mom . She had my astrological chart matched with Mandy's and they said it is a 25 match which is as close to a great match that you can get. This is according to Vedic astrology. The highest possible match is 36. Anything beyond 25 -26 and you have 'too similar' a person. This concurs what our previous astrologer said about us. This is good.

She also said that I have the planet 'Shani' on my head right now till August and this means I have to do the Hanuman Chalisa till September to guard me .

I have been doing the joke 'Relegion is like a big dick - its a really nice thing to have but you don't want someone shoving it down your throat all the time' for about 5 years now.

I downloaded the Hanuman Chalisa and intend to do it twice a day. Am I a raging contradiction of sorts or what ? How can I have two separate tracks in my head - both on opposite ends and still actually believe in BOTH of them.

What am I ? Relegious , spiritual , both , none ? Who knows ? Who cares ? I do.

Hanuman incidentally is a GOD . He is also a monkey. I guess this is the power of nurture.

I believe I put myself at the cutting edge of technology most of the times. I have chased projects that have given me the intellectual knowhow to stay ahead of most developments in my field. I have been an experimental guinea pig for several corporations (technology vise) and have helped identify quite a few 'bug's' in the beta releases which they have thanked me for.

Yet at the same time I have absolutely NO PROBLEM going into a chant for a monkey GOD in the middle of what could be a personal cosmic crisis ! I guess when it comes down to it - my well being affects those around me . The ones whom I love . They being Mandy and my peeps. I will do ANYTHING to protect them from harm. And so if the slightest harm can be avoided by praying to a Monkey then so be it .

An interesting side line is that the debate on evolution and creation takes an interesting turn when you make the argument for creationism by saying "Yes, we did descend from monkeys - he just happens to be a God!". Thats it folks Hindus solved the debate about 4000 years back even before it started !!

2005-06-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

BatMan Begins

GM discounts - GM Layoffs

2005-06-19T12:11:00.000-07:00

GM announced that they are letting their valued 'customers' get the same discounts as their employees have been getting for years. This was very appealing when I also read
GM is laying off 25000 employees by the end of 2008. Today Ford announced that they will give discounts to employees and retirees for selling their cars.

This is IT people. This is IT. This is the mass conspiracy to put the entire Ford employee organization into car salesmen. What is GM trying to say to its employees ? We don't really need you , we think any bloke on the street is the same as you are AND we will give you 50$ if you refer somebody and you sell a CAR. Essentially you need to perform TWO job functions at GM to be called an employee BUT you could NOT work at GM and still get one of the BEST benefits ever ! To those of you in Detroit - I empathize with your plight. I will buy a bicycle this summer !

Gym, Cooking and other seemingly mundane stories

2005-06-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

We joined a gym. In accordance with Mandy's equation of marriage (1 + 1 = 3 theres me, theres you and then theres us - really cool! One of the main reasons I love her !). The gym falls under the US part. So we went to the Tucson Racquet and Fitness Club. I admire her tenacity on the Cybex circuit. She kept on going despite the fact that she was very tired. Apparently her first time on the circuit.
Also we went ahead and got a couple of slacks for me. I LOVED the way she fuddled over me and even came into the men's changing area TWICE ! Mari Gagi!
We went to Mens Wearhouse but after looking at the labels I changed my mind and went over to the Park's Place mall Macy's in Tucson. This turned out to be a good choice. We got two Dockers and even one shirt that I am wearing as I type this. These seemingly mundance occasions seem to increase my love for her day after day after day. And night after night after night.

Regarding Batman Begins!

2005-06-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

I saw the movie yesterday when Mandy went to her Astrology class. She took a ride home from a classmate. All I have to say is
"Thanks Mr.Nolan for making the movie grittier like the comic book and destroying the franchise "
In the latest version Batman is a man who roams on rooftops , often peering into peoples homes with a night vision scope I might add. Pervert !!! Hey if you wanna see a scary Christian Bale rent American Psycho. I saw that movie 5 years back and the chainsaw scene still freaks me out - mainly cause I don' t know how to operate one !
Katie Holmes - Get 'in' with Tom Cruise as soon as possible because if your acting in this movie is an indication of things to come then even Superman can't save you !

Chris Nolan - Please direct Memento -2 - where Guy finds out that the Topher guy from Matrix is not really the killer (oops!) and goes 'forward' in time to once again find the 'real ' killer.

Christian Bale :- Dude one indication that a script sucks is when you need TWO Oscar winners to make you look cool and one of them STILL steals the show.

Morgan Freeman :- Nothing dude ! You are as cool as ever !

Cilian Murphy :- Go fuck yourself ! You don't look scary at all ! Scarecrow ! You ! Not good puppy , not good.

No MORE PBS ? No MORE NPR ?

2005-06-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

"A House subcommittee voted yesterday to sharply reduce the federal government's financial support for public broadcasting, including eliminating taxpayer funds that help underwrite such popular children's educational programs as "Sesame Street," "Reading Rainbow," "Arthur" and "Postcards From Buster."
In addition, the subcommittee acted to eliminate within two years all federal money for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting -- which passes federal funds to public broadcasters -- starting with a 25 percent reduction in CPB's budget for next year, from $400 million to $300 million. " -

There is a very good reason why I type this in BOLD AND RED ! This is a sign of an anti progress universe. This government is definitely trying to put us a GIANT LEAP backwards. How can you shut off something that started Sesame Street ? GoodBye Burt - Hello HeeHaw!!!

Tapan Trivedi
www.indiancomedian.com

Hardest Riddle on the internet!!

2005-06-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

I am at level 7 . Where are you ? What are you doing ?
Addictive ! Extremely addictive !
Tapan

The Power Of Tribe.net

2005-06-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

Last night I sent out this listing to my friends and my tribes on www.tribe.net .

Company:
www.indiancomedian.com
Rate: About 300$ max for the whole website redesign
(contract)
Type:
Contract
City:
Everywhere
The website is www.indiancomedian.com
1) Need to have a different funny / Indian look and feel for the website
2) Get a better page of Photographs
3) Get a better page of Clips Put an online store

This morning I came to see about 30 messages - make that proposals in my tribe messagebox. About 20 of them were from actual web designers. Now I have to make a spreadsheet with the respective quotes and the evaluation criterion! It gets better .

Tapan Trivedi

For the Indiancomedian.com website

2005-06-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

I need the following to be done

1) Need to have a different funny / Indian look and feel for the website
2) Get a better DVD made
3) Get a better page of Photographs
4) Get a better page of Clips

* Sell T Shirts after getting them made .
* Sell Bumper Stickers after getting them made.
* Sell DVD - Get merchant stuff on the Website .

If you think you can do this DO let me know at
tapan@indiancomedian.com

How to change from Yahoo Mail to Gmail

2005-06-09T14:18:00.000-07:00

How to Switch from Yahoo Mail to Gmail
Tired of Yahoo and want to try Gmail? Here's an easy guide to a hassle-free switch!

Steps
1. Read how-to get a Gmail account
2. Export your contacts from Yahoo mail: Go to >> Address >> View Contacts >> Import/Export >> Yahoo CSV.
3. Save the file on Desktop.
4. Log into Gmail.
5. Click on "Contacts" in the left hand sidebars.
6. Select "Import Contacts" from the options.
7. In "Browse," select the file on your Desktop. It will import all your contacts.

Tips
If you want to abandon your Yahoo account, go to "Mail Options" in Yahoo. Select "Vacation Response." Write a short note to announce to correspondents to send all emails to your new Gmail address, which you specify. This email will be sent to whoever emails you on your Yahoo. If you want, you can also send a quick email from Gmail to your Contact Book addresses informing them of your change.
If you're willing to pay the $20 per year for Premium Yahoo mail and want to auto-forward your email from Yahoo to Gmail, go to "Mail Options" in Yahoo. Select "POP and forwarding." Choose "forwarding" from the list and enter your Gmail address. Press "send."
It's possible to take your mail with you as well! Details are beyond the scope of this how-to, but check out http://mrpostman.sourceforge.net/ and http://sourceforge.net/projects/freepops/

Warnings
Remember to check your Yahoo account occassionally in case you have received an important message which the sender has not forwarded to your Gmail.
A key reason to log on periodically is that Yahoo will deactivate any account that has not been logged into for four months, as it will be deemed a "dormant account" (http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/mail/access/access-04.html)
Beware - gmail does not provide a way to Export your contacts ( though they make it easy to Import them). So if you want to back them up or transfer to another mail service you will be stuck. Google Don't be evil!

Oracle Acquires TimesTen

2005-06-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

This means that combined together with TimesTen Oracle will definitely get ahead of its realistic technology competitors like DB2 , PostGres etc . Don't expect returns anytime soon though - the benefits we reap will be about 1 to 1.5 years ahead.

Faith Based Diets - Praise the lord!

2005-06-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

I ain't kidding. CNN did a report on this yesterday and both me and Mandy saw it. My jaw dropped when I heard that. People are actually saying that this is a diet. This is how it works .
When you get hungry you pray ! Its brilliant in its simplicity. You don't eat - you pray to NOT be hungry! As opposed to the REST OF 60% of the world that is praying to EAT when one gets hungry ! God Bless America !

FireSpinners and NASCAR !!

2005-06-08T17:46:00.000-07:00

Now all those of us who have seen fire spinners for about a 100th time - there is nothing new to watch. Its the same poi, same spinners, the same patterns, the same drum music, the same atmosphere, the same people doing the same things over and over again - YET we watch it . With amazed faces akin to what a dog makes when I put him on the phone we watch. With tired eyes which are burning with the fumes of the fuel so carefully discarded from the dripping poi, with ears that are screaming for something other than the drums and the silent whooshing of the poi as it goes so near the body, occasionally touching it lightly , oh so lightly , and then leaving a welt - very much like a gentle but dedicated dominatrix. Why do we watch it ? Why do we listen ? I ponder . I lay awake at night watching my beautiful fiance's naked body as it gently rises and falls with each of her beautiful breath. Staring at the ceiling as it gently calls me. Staring at the full length mirror to see nothing but my ugly face ! And then BAM - just like that - it hits me.

The answer lies in quite the culturally opposite redneck phenomena called NASCAR. It has been around for decades. It has the same cars running the same circles and yet we watch. WHY ? BECAUSE ONCE IN A WHILE A REDNECK THINKS HE SAW A RED BREASTED WARBLER IN THE STANDS - THE ONE THAT HIS DADDY COULD NEVER (Translate NE'ER) SHOOT AND TRIES TO SHOOT IT WITH HIS OH SO EVERREADY AND LOYAL 12 GAUGE THAT HE KEEPS WITH HIM ALL THE TIME . AND AS HE GALLANTLY TRIES TO MULTITASK DRIVING THE VEHICLE AT 140MPH AND TAKING A DECENT SHOT AT THE WARBLER (Which in reality is a TShirt on an octagenerian who is fulfilling her last wish by coming to the track - courtesy of the Make a Wish foundation!!) HE FLIPS. HE FLIPS AND TAKES WITH HIM FOUR OR FIVE MORE OF HUMANITY'S CHEESIEST DISPLAYS OF MACHISMO AND EMPTY HEADS !! OH GOD ! DEAR GOD ! HOW WE ALL WISH AND PRAY FOR NASCAR CRASHES - WHICH PUTS AN END TO THE INCESSANT FARTING NOISES THAT THE CARS MAKE AND THE CULTURE THAT GOES ALONG WITH IT.

Now take a flip back to the counterculture. Talk about the fire dancers / spinners. Now fire spinning is not a sport YET. But I wish when I will have to pay $6.50 for a hot dog at an "ALL OUT FIRE OUT" in Davis, California where the star attraction is the final performance where everything goes awry and 20 odd people catch on fire with limited safety equipment (some things never change) and go running haywire , like a bad Lucy skit or something that we are more akin to see on the Simpsons and we laugh our degenerate stupid asses off till the fire spinners are cooked al dente.

God Bless America !!

Tapan Trivedi
www.indiancomedian.com
Tue, June 7, 2005 - 11:30 AM - permalink - 2 Comments

Back To Life - Back To Reality from Flipside!!

2005-06-08T17:45:00.000-07:00

So we are back from Flipside. After starting late on Thursday we reached on Friday afternoon . The event was a non stop roller coaster of fun ! We camped with Wonderlounge. Reverend Keith, Angelique, Atomic, Melody, Sensei Strange etc etc etc are ALL wonderful people who embody the burner philosophy fantastically. LOVE THEM ! I think next year going to Flipside is a lock because the venue is changing and tickets should be easily available.

Here are the photos of the BURN to start with.....
http://www.howhowhow.com/jaime/flipside2005/index.htm
http://www.nobear.com/photos/dave_and_his_monster.jpg
http://www.oneflameinthefire.com/liftoff/
http://www.plasmator.net/jj/ or http://www.plasmator.net/jj/
Album: "FLIPSIDE 2005".
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2125869238&code=16385000&mode=invite&DCMP=isc- email-AlbumInvite
password: burn05
http://www.weid.org/Burningman/BurnAustin_2005/Flipside-2005.htm

more on the way.

Peace,
Token Indian and Miss Taken

Poem for my love - Mandy!!

2005-05-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes....
I feel as if SHE made me from leftover clay
And then there are times the I don't.

Sometimes I feel that my life is an empty canvass
Just waiting to be painted on
Just waiting to be painted on
And then there are times that I don't.

Then there are times that I want to hover
Above over people when they are sleeping
And suck the sorrows out of their life
So that when they wake up , they say
WOW ! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL !
And then there are times that I don't.

There are times that I feel that
Happiness is a space between your legs
Where there is peace, serenity and your womb
That will lead me to the generations to come
To nourish, to nurture and undeniably wound
Because we are human.

Happiness is the space on your bosom
Where there is abundance and fulfillment
Nurture , phillips, flathead and various other condiments
That will lead me to paradise.

That happiness is the outer traces of lips on your mouth
Where there is love , more love than most , just floating around.
To be drunk and be intoxicated .

That happiness is the hollowed cheeks when you smile
That happiness is the face you make when you dance
That happiness is the arms that feed me and pray with me
That happiness is being near you, next to you and at times being you.
That happiness is nothing but knowing that you exist and that your existence brings joy to my life and other's.
That happiness is that chord through which you bind me,surround me, find me.
That happiness is you
You You You YOu You You You You you You.
AND There isn't anytime that I don't think that.

To my love Mandy

Poems From a Grey Grey Cubicle

2005-02-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

Poems from a grey grey cubicle :-

Little Journey into myself

I saw a little rabbit brown and fluffy
Hop across my office on the outside of the solid glass.
I see a beautiful blossom on the trees
I see my manager shouting on the phone
I chuckle as he says ' I can do that if you finance my divorce!'

I see a blue jay on the tree branch
I see as it moves its little blue jay ass from branch to branch.
I want to know if the rabbit saw the blue jay.
I want to know if you love me ?

I see your photographs in my head as I listen to music and go away.
I see you dancing in my head as I listen to music and go away.
I see you move and I see you groove
I see the puzzles that make you ponder
As I smile shyly and I shyly wonder

Do you know I exist ?
Do you know I am human ?
Do you know if I have a heart ?
Do you know if I we make a spark ?
You embark on a new journey in life .
You emerge out of the embers of your previous self
You glow - you golden Phoenix - in your lovely strife
I draw even further as I split me in my other self.

So this soldier of fortune accepts defeat
Caressing a broken and wounded heart
Beating my heart into a broken beat
I lie, I cry, I stay awake,
I see the rabbit again
I see the blue jay
I hear the shouting
I am back .
I am back.
I am.

Tapan Trivedi