Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat

I am thankful for….

2009-11-25T22:25:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. While I count my blessings every day on my Conscious Gratitude group on Yahoo, I love having a whole day to focus on being grateful for everything in my life. Even if you live in a country that doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving (and I know many of you are out there!), please join me in our tradition of focusing on your blessings.

John F. Kennedy said, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

It’s so true! Spiritual lip service doesn’t cut it! Many people make gratitude lists but don’t feel the appreciation that should go with them. Feeling deep gratitude for all your blessings is one of the best ways to attract more blessings. When I was a DoorMat I thought I had none since I was so focused on how unattractive I felt, the disappointment of always feeling let down by people, overburdened with favors I couldn’t say no to, etc. Blessings???? Ha, not for me back then.

Insecurity makes us do things that can overshadow our blessings.

Those negatives were my choice. I made them because I was too insecure to stand up to people. But even with all that, I did have many blessings I couldn’t see. Cellulite blinded me to my overall good curvy figure, pretty green eyes and what I now know is my pretty face. Unhappiness blinded me to happy things that were there.

Now I recognize my blessings with joy! In honor of Thanksgiving, I will list some of my blessings here. And, it would be a blessing for me if you would share yours in the comment section below. Think about EVERYTHING you can that's good in your life and write it down. The more you think, the more you’ll think of. Here goes mine:

WHAT I’M GRATEFUL FOR

My wonderful, supportive friends and family.

My brother in law had a clear PET scan after going through heavy treatment for cancer.

That I developed the guts to reinvent myself after being an unhappy schoolteacher to becoming a successful author, speaker, self-empowerment counselor and music industry consultant.

Having a career that fulfills me that I LOVE.

Sticking to my vows to live a passion driven life.

Being able to touch the lives of people from around the world with my writing.

Having exceptionally good health.

Loving the apartment I live in—heart of midtown Manhattan eastside, overlooking trees, lot of light and space, peaceful.

Always having enough money for what I want.

Feeling very positive about my life.

Being able to do what I want, how I want, when I want.

Getting to travel.

Being content with who I am and getting older because I know I keep getting better!

All of you who support my blog.

Writing this from the Berkshire Mountains in CT where my sister has a house and my whole family is here.

My BIGGEST, BIGGEST, BIGGEST, blessing is my total faith in God! It sustains me and allows me to manifest whatever I need.

And, not being a DoorMat anymore.

Please share your blessings in the comments section right below!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all and may you recognize MANY blessings!

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Law of Attraction in Action: Eating

2009-11-23T10:32:00.003-05:00

This is post 62 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

As the holiday season approaches, I thought eating was a good topic, since many of us will do a lot of it. ☺ We try not to. Resolve to be strong. But then the temptation and scents of yummies weaken us. So we indulge. And indulge. And then often lament and come down on ourselves hard after. It’s better to put eating into perspective so you can enjoy it more. Food is to be enjoyed.

You can ruin a good pig-out with regret and self-scolding.

Eating is normal. We all need to do it. Of course eating to excess, like I’ll probably do on Thursday, isn’t something to do regularly, but splurges are fun on holidays! Guilt isn’t. Yet so I see or hear from so many people who afflict self-wounds by denying themselves the pleasure of good eating or by eat the fattening goodies and then berating themselves so much that all pleasure is squashed.

The Law of Attraction hears you put yourself down for indulging in yummy excess or lamenting about how fat you are so you must be good.

All this attracts unhappiness for sure. And, it says you expect to get fat from one meal or that a splurge will ruin your body, both of which aren’t true unless you make it so. The Law of Attraction takes those thoughts and supports them coming true. When I had those kind of fat thoughts, I did gain weight more easily and then things prevented me from taking the weight off.

Hello! If you EXPECT to gain weight and EXPECT to feel fat, you probably will!

As I relaxed about my body and eating, a funny thing happened. I gained less during pig-outs and it came off easier. When I was a DoorMat, I hated my body and saw myself as fat. I swear, if I ate a piece of pie I could see it in my stomach area right after so all the joy of a special dinner would go right out the window. The more I’d lament that I was a big fat pig, the more weight I gained. Now I know I was affirming it.

Today I enjoy my food thoroughly and tell the Universe I’m not worried about gaining weight, at least not permanently. And I don’t!

If you approach a holiday meal with thoughts of “I’m so fat,” “What a pig I am,” “I hate myself for eating well at the dinner,” “I’m bad for wanting another piece of cake,” you send a message of self-loathing. You also say you EXPECT to gain weight, instead of believing, like I do, that a splurge can come off fast with some exercise and healthier eating after. And it does for me!

When you love yourself and accept your body with love, weight comes off. I put it out that I EXPECT my body to be the same a few days after holiday eating, and it is.

Self-loathing attracts more to loath. It puts out fat expectations that come to pass. Self-love somehow helps the body to relax and attract easier weight loss. Body loathing attracts weight gain. Of course I try to eat in moderation after pigging out and I also do more exercise if I can. But I no longer worry about it.

Worrying tells the Universe you don’t trust that your body will survive holiday eating.

Self-loathing attracts more self-loathing. Self-love attracts more self-love and sets up a vibration for you to survive holiday eating and still feel good about yourself. Of course you don’t want to totally lose control. That’s just common sense. I leave on Wednesday to spend 4 days at my sister’s house in the Berkshire Mountains of Connecticut. My sister loves to entertain and is a fabulous cook. So I know I’ll have to exert some constraint. But I also know I’ll be pigging out a lot too! I’m bringing my sneakers and will do some power-walking and running to burn off some calories. And if necessary, I’ll be more vigilant about my eating for a while when I return.

Pigging out for days does bring weight gain, no matter how vigilant you are. I don’t expect the Universe to completely pardon me if I over-indulge for 4 days.

So I’ll do what I can to prepare for it in advance. While I will eat the fattening foods I love, I’ll do what I can to stay in some loose control of my eating. This is more because I love myself enough to want to remain healthy. Eating an overabundance of fat and sugar isn’t good for me and I’ll respect that. Plus, after days of that I don't feel well and I like to feel well! Turkey day will be forgiving and I’ll eat what I want. Then I’ll set some boundaries, while still enjoying the good food.

My message to the Universe: I deserve to enjoy a pig-out without hurting my body but I also love myself enough to take care of me.

Everything in moderation after the big dinner shows that intention. But it’s done out of self-love, not self-loathing or hating my body. I just began adding chia seeds to my diet. They’re known as the super food of the Amazon for their dense nutritional value. They also make me feel fuller so I don't want to eat as much. I’ll have them with me to try to keep my pig-outs in control. With it all, I EXPECT to keep my weight stable, and attract things to help me balance the eating. I’m lucky that I burn more calories in the thinner mountain air.

Relax and enjoy a good meal when the opportunity arises. Don’t taint it with guilt or anger about it. That's an act of self-love, which attract good things.

Then take better care to eat more healthy and exercise to burn some of it off. You only live once. Show the Universe you love yourself enough to splurge and enjoy and enough to then take control. I already know that by the end of next week, my scale will be where it was this morning. When you relax and EXPECT to not have long-term weight gain, it’s easier to enjoy the holidays, and to keep your weight in check.

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Everyone Passes Me When I Run!

2009-11-19T11:19:00.007-05:00

I’ve always been running in Central Park for just a few years. I’ve always been a power walker but stepped it up a notch when my metabolism began to slow down. I enjoy it a lot. When I began, it was just running a few yards to add some juice to my walks. That was all I could do. A whole minute running was a success 4 years ago. I challenged myself to run a little further each time and my legs got stronger. I admit that I get jazzed knowing I run most of the time now.

While exercise is important, it’s just as important to respect and care for your body.

Many people injure their knees from running and I’ve been warned about it. So when I run, I try to be careful. My tendons behind the knee get tight. Stopping to stretch a few times helps that. I take glucosamine and chondroitin to keep them lubricated and to maintain the cartilage. I’m also conscious of my technique as I run. I began watching the other runners and noticed that most took long strides. I tried that too, since otherwise they all ran past me. But I noticed my knee tendons got tighter as I did.

I decided that my body health was more important than what others thought!

Then I read an article about ChiRunning , a technique that allows you to run in a way that eases the impact on the body. Instead of taking long strides, I take shorter steps and keep my feet just above the ground, kind of rolling from foot to foot. So I go slower and other runners whiz by me. In my insecure days, that would have bothered me. I always worried about what people thought. Now my well-being comes first!

Most strangers don’t give a hoot about what you’re doing, as long as it doesn’t affect them.

The insecure Daylle would have pushed herself to speed up to maintain an image. But this secure one knows that what’s best for my body is the significant issue. I don’t have to make a good impression on people in the park I don’t know. What's most important is that I am running! People have told me they failed to do something innocuous because they were in public and didn’t want to do it in front of others, like reading a trashy novel, eating something fattening on the train, even smiling! So they deprive themselves to avoid possible scorn by strangers who don’t care.

Even if people notice something you’re doing, you’ll be history in their memory seconds after you’re not around.

As I run, EVERYONE passes me now. There’s rarely someone I can keep up with in terms of going fast. But, I realized that I take a lot more steps than most people and am sort of going faster on some levels. I’m just taking shorter steps, so I don’t seem to go as fast. Others extend their legs, or are much taller than me so they make more progress because each step they take is longer. It feels great to be secure enough to not care that I’m probably the slowest runner in Central Park. Their knees will probably give out faster than mine!

Insecure people always worry that someone will notice them. Secure people don’t care!

Next time you’re worrying about being judged by someone in the line at a store, when you’re at the gym, or anywhere else that makes you self-conscious, remember that the most important thing is to be true to your own needs and what’s best for you. I could run faster but instead put my well-being first and focus on the joy of knowing that I am running. Period. DoorMats try to mimic what they think is the “right way.” Or they give up on an activity that they don’t do as well as others. Years ago, I’d have been too self-conscious to run since I couldn’t have handled being slower. Now I run with pride that I’m doing it.

Making what you do more important than what a stranger might think of you gives you more freedom to be YOU. That’s a priceless gift to self!

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Law of Attraction in Action: Perfection

2009-11-16T13:18:00.003-05:00

This is post 61 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Last week I discussed how your PERSPECTIVE sets the tone for your reality, and how striving to be perfect warps your perspective of circumstances. Many people strive for perfection. They tend to focus their attention on what’s not right instead of what is. As a DoorMat, the qualities I hated about myself blinded me to my good ones. You can get 99 questions right on a test and beat yourself up for the one you got wrong. I’ve seen people who lost 50 pounds dramatizing the last 5 that are hard to lose. That sends a message that you’ll never be happy until you achieve perfection.

Since perfection doesn’t exist, you’ll keep attracting unhappiness.

Years ago I had a boyfriend who was never satisfied. He went to the gym obsessively. I thought his body was amazing. He only saw the teensy spot that wasn’t perfect. When he got a new client, he clouded his joy by lamenting about one who was still on the fence. If he didn’t sign everyone he went after, he only saw the failure and was rarely happy. His need for perfection made me eventually break up with him. There was no way I’d join him in postponing happiness for the day perfection arrived!

Needing to be perfect puts out a message that you’re dissatisfied with what you have—the antithesis of expressing gratitude.

People who always strive for perfection tell the Universe that they don’t appreciate their blessings and they resent not getting everything they want on their terms. They’re often not happy. I find perfectionists to be a lot less faithful than others. It’s hard to have faith when you don’t feel like you’re getting what you need when you decide it’s needed. Since perfection is impossible, perfection seekers assume their needs aren’t being met by a higher power since they’re still lacking in something.

Yet we attract so much more when put positive energy on what’s going right—our blessings—instead of putting negative energy on what we haven’t attracted.

Not being perfect makes people angry—at the situation and at themselves for not being able to control everything. Anger feels lousy and negates self-love. That in itself attracts more negatives or at least blocks many of the positive things that could be attracted by being more self-forgiving. Anger at out not being perfect attracts more imperfect things you may be angry about. Instead of relaxing with your blessings, anger about what you don’t have negates getting more blessings.

Seeking the impossible—perfection—sets impossible goals to manifest.

Perfectionists fail to realize that even people that seem perfect from afar aren’t perfect. Yankee Derek Jeeter has his off games of getting no hits, yet he’s a star athlete. So is Tiger Woods but he sometimes has an off day too. People with great bodies have cellulite when they peel off their Spanx and you see them with their flab and cellulite. Makeup can do a lot for perfect looking celebs. So can airbrushing. Yet we often look to those we envy as examples of what we want, or want to be.

Our good qualities and accomplishments get lost in the shadow of flaws, goals yet to be achieved, and anything else that’s not perfect.

Seeking perfection sells your positive assets way short and sets you up to be unhappy. When you appreciate what you have and what you do, you attract more of that. Strive to improve, not to become perfect. Feeling disgruntled about imperfections reinforces them. Feeling good about what you do right makes it easier to attract more things to feel proud of.

Progress is more important than perfection!

If you want to lose weight, do your best to improve your eating habits and take a few extra steps to burn calories. You may never have a flat tummy but can have a fitter body. Mine still has some flab but I still love my body now since I’ve worked hard to be fit and healthy. If I was waiting to have a perfect body, I wouldn’t feel so much joy about my improvements. But I celebrate improvement, even if I still have cellulite and will never be perfectly firm and thin. Since I adopted this mindset, I notice the weight comes off easier. I seem to attract weight loss and not gaining as easily.

I’ll repeat: Progress is more important than perfection! Celebrate any progress you make to improving yourself. You’ll attract more progress that way. Trade the perfection myth for realistic progress and enjoy what you attract instead of lamenting what hasn’t come yet. It makes for a happier life!

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Detoxifying Your Life

2009-11-11T22:58:00.005-05:00

I'm delight to have Tina Tessina, Ph.D. back as my guest blogger. Her articles always bring a great response as she has such a great take on life's ups and downs. Tina is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in California. She is the author of MANY books, including the best selling, The 10 Smartest Decisions A Woman Can Make Before 40 Money, and her newest two, The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart (Adams Media, 2008) and Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media, 2008) Tina also writes the "Dr. Romance" column on Yahoo! Personals and MUCH more! Today she provides a lot of food for thought to help you get rid of toxins in your life.

Detox Your Life

[Adapted from It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction]
by Tina B. Tessina

Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you‚re feeling sluggish, it‚s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how to handle it.

1. Frequently late: The cure to lateness is twofold: learn to estimate time better, and get more organized, so you are not delayed by looking for last minute items. Perhaps the most important reason to cure yourself of lateness is that it is rude to others, and costs you their good opinion. If your partner is late, stop waiting! Set a reasonable grace period (eg:15 minutes) and then leave without the other person, leaving a note about how to meet you wherever you're going. That way, you are not forced to operate on the other person's time schedule. You'll be surprised at how quickly he or she will learn to be on time.

2. Often angry or irritated: Being easily angered or irritated is a great way to punish yourself. It raises your blood pressure, and tends to create unnecessary problems with others. Anger interferes with clear thinking, and being irritable makes it unpleasant and difficult for others to work or socialize with you. To reform this habit, you must develop more emotional maturity. Understand that your anger is not seen as power by others, but as childishness and petulance. It will lose you far more than you will gain. Learn to slow down, and reduce your overly high expectations. Allow others to be themselves, and don't expect them to march to your drum. Counting to 10 works wonders, as does taking three deep breaths when you are upset.

Taking up yoga, meditation, tai chi, or another calming pursuit will teach you patience. Strenuous physical activity is a great way to burn off excess anger. If none of these work, see a therapist or join an anger management group.

3. Unsure of ability to do something: Insecurity and feelings of incompetence are definitely stressful, but they may also be useful. Find out if you really are unprepared for the task ahead. Don't be afraid to ask questions, or ask for help. It's OK to be a beginner, even if you're an expert in other things. If you don't try to pretend you're better than you are, you will get more help from others. Take it slowly, and allow yourself to learn as you go. Above all, be supportive to yourself, and don't subject yourself to harsh internal criticism.

4. Overextended: Frequently becoming overextended can be a sign of grandiosity - -overblown expectations of your abilities - - or of trying to control everything. Reduce your expectations of your own accomplishments, and allow others to help you in their own way. In the long run, being a team player is usually more efficient than trying to do it all alone and becoming overwhelmed.

5. Not enough time for stress relief: This is an extension of being overextended, and may be a sign that you always come last in your own life. Learn to schedule time for yourself to relax and to play. If you write personal time on your schedule the same way you do appointments with others, you'll be more likely to actually do it. Join a class or group that meets regularly for a relaxing activity such as dancing, stretching or meditation, or schedule a regular massage, manicure or facial, so you'll have a guaranteed place to relax.

6. Feeling unbearably tense: If your anxiety is this high, you may need therapy. Anxiety and panic attacks are among the easiest things to fix in counseling sessions. You are probably running non - stop negative self - talk, which keeps you anxious about everything. Try affirmations and/or prayer to counteract the running commentary in your mind. Learn to breathe deeply from your diaphragm when you feel anxious—it slows your heartbeat and calms you down.

7. Frequently pessimistic: A negative attitude is a result of negative self - talk, and of a negative attitude probably learned in childhood. There are many self - help books which will guide you in learning to change the nature of your approach to life. Techniques such as prayer and affirmations, counting your blessings, and setting small goals every day will help you turn this around.

8. Upset by conflicts with others: All conflict is upsetting. The key is to reduce the amount of conflict in your life. Many of the above techniques, such as anger reduction and positive self - talk, will contribute to improving your relationships with others. In addition, you can learn better social techniques such as active listening, positive regard, win - win negotiation and clear communication which will eliminate the source of conflict. Learn to listen to others (even when you don't agree) and, before speaking, consider how your words might feel to the other person. Treat other people more as you would like them to treat you, and, most important, stop and think before reacting to someone else.

9. Worn - out or burned – out: Burnout is the result of feeling overextended or ineffective for a long period of time. Most of us can deal with small amounts of frustration or feeling overwhelmed, but if it goes on too long, we lose all our motivation, and become burned out. Motivation comes from celebration and appreciation, so learn to celebrate each little accomplishment, and seek appreciation when you need it. If you have trouble doing that, perhaps it's time to make a career change or to change some other aspect of your life.

10. Feeling lonely: Loneliness may not result from actually being alone, but more from feeling misunderstood or not valued. People often isolate themselves because they feel inadequate in social situations. Value the friends you do have, and make new friends by attending classes or other group events where you can focus on a task or assignment. This will take the pressure off your contact with other people, and give you something in common with them. Be wary of spending too much time on your computer, in chat rooms, etc. These activities absorb time, but do little to dispel loneliness. Make sure you schedule some time with a friend at least once a week, and if you don't have friends, then use that weekly time to take a class or join a group (for example, a book club or sports group ) which will give you a chance to make new friends.

You can subscribe to Tina's free newsletter: "Happiness Tips from Tina" on Tina Tessina's site.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Perspective

2009-11-09T10:37:00.002-05:00

This is post 60 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Some people see the glass half empty and others, like me, see it as half full. Yet it’s the same glass! People who see it as half empty wonder why I attract more. They think I must be lucky. But I know it has nothing to do with luck. It’s all about the perspective you put on a circumstances. Your view of situations puts a positive or negative spin on it, hence half empty or half full. It’s YOUR choice. A positive spin is a much better one!

Your perspective on a situation sends a strong message to the Law of Attraction.

You can have a perspective about something that’s happening or a roadblock you see coming or disappointments or anything else can has 2 sides. You may not see 2 sides if you’re negative about it. Many people look at the gloomier one. That sets your expectations to gloomy. For example, if the sun isn’t shining brightly, some people call it a nasty day. I call it nice. It would be nicer to have more sunshine but it’s still nice.

A positive perspective puts you into a better mood.

Yet it seems easier to many people to assume the worst or take a negative perspective in any situation that isn’t perfect. Many things can be right but they focus on what’s wrong. That’s why so many women with decent bodies lament to confused friends and romantic partners that they’re fat. Each time they reinforce the negatives of being fat as their loved ones scratch their heads, trying to figure out what she sees, since she’s not fat; she just not perfectly thin. When I was a DoorMat, all I saw was my cellulite when I looked in the mirror. Even with my clothes on, I had x-ray vision and saw it through my clothes. It blinded me to all my good features. I was fat and that was it. It also said I was no good, and attracted negative situaitons.

Fat blindness is a common perspective that blinds some of us to our good qualities.

When the temperature dropped sharply in NY, it was still sunny. Someone called and asked if I was going out in the miserable weather. Miserable? I looked outside again since this person lived near me. I thought maybe a freak dark cloud had messed up the day. But there it was—the sun shining brightly. I asked how she could call this day with bright, clear blue skies miserable? Her response was, “It’s too cold.” Yes it was cold, near freezing, but it was such a pretty day otherwise.

People let one piece of a situation set their perspective on everything.

My friend doesn’t like cold weather. Calling the day miserable made her miserable. She felt down. I asked if she liked the sun. Yes, she did. I suggested she edit her perspective. It was a gorgeous day but the temperature was lower than she liked. Appreciate the sunshine and wish for higher temps. It lightened her mood! She’d been so focused on the cold that she ignored the beautiful day. Her negative attitude had attracted more negatives. All of a sudden, acknowledging the sunshine put her in a better mood!

Dag Hammerskjold said, “Never measure the height of a mountain, until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was.”

I’ve actually climbed mountains that seemed impossible for me but let go of that perspective by focusing on taking one step at a time. It’s okay to acknowledge that something looks hard. But to pointedly assess it with a hardcore negative attracts more negativity and makes you unlikely to have an open-minded perspective. My friend began to appreciate the sunshine though she still hated the cold. The day wasn’t miserable anymore—just too cold.

Often situations look much worse before they happen. Making a point of looking for something positive about it.

We hold ourselves back by jumping to a negative perspective and attracting the results of our thoughts. I talked to someone who told me that some negative things happened to her in a row. Her perspective? “I’m jinxed!” I told her not to keep saying that but her perspective was fixed on that. No matter how hard I tried to convince her to let go of that thought, she was more convinced it was true.

When I saw her a few weeks later, she gloated that she’d been proven right—her company was moving far away and she was out of a job. Now she had to move because her landlord raised her rent higher than she expected and yada, yada. "So I am jinxed" she "triumphantly" told me. Is being jinxed something to be happy about? Yet her joy was in proving her perspective correct. I told her her determination to remain jinxed attracted more things going wrong. the Law of Attraction sends you what your thoughts expect.

Being right about a negative is wrong! Why gloat over attracting bad circumstances!?

Instead, try climbing the mountain. See it as hard but not impossible. Catch yourself when you have negative thoughts or negative statements about something and try to edit your perspective a bit. I had a string of negatives happen but instead of succumbing to them, I affirmed that today is the first day of my life and I choose to have things go well from hereon in. And they did!

The more negative your perspective, the more negative your circumstances will be.

Do you have a stuffed nose and keep saying that you’re sick? I stop people from doing that often. When I have a stuffy nose, even if it makes me feel miserable, I say I just have a stuffed nosed. People have told me I must be sick. I deny it! Saying you’re sick attracts more illness. I recover fast when my perspective is healthy with a stuffed nose or some other thing that isn’t feeling right. Have you stopped at someone’s house and think it looks nice as she utters, “My place is a mess!” Something is out of place yet it’s a mess now. It’s unfair to you when you say these kinds of things and it makes you unhappy and it attracts more negatives to that situation.

Be more vigilant of your perspective and you can prevent yourself from manifesting what you don’t want more of.

It also keeps you in a better mood. Look for the silver lining when you don’t like what’s going on or what you anticipate. When we recently had a string of nasty weather, I didn’t like it. I began to feel lousy with the weather. Then I decided it gave me an excuse to do things I was putting off indoors to be outdoors. When I lamented about not being able to go running, I decided that my knees could use a break and this forced me to have one. They felt better when the weather cleared and I ran again, so it was a good thing to give them a break. As my perspective brightened, so did my circumstance. You can do this too by being conscious. It’s nicer to be happy EVERY day, not just when everything is perfect!

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Lessons from the NYC Marathon

2009-11-06T14:57:00.004-05:00

On Sunday I watched the NYC Marathon on TV. The route goes near where I live and I enjoy watching the runners going up First Avenue where I often walk. I found some valuable lessons in the behavior of the runners.

Lesson #1: Pace yourself so you finish smarter. When running in a marathon, you need to stay focused on your pace to not burn out before the finish line. Some runners immediately get out ahead of the main pack of runners. You can see the glee on their faces to know that everyone sees them in the lead. Some make fewer detours to the water stations to keep that lead. But, in most cases, the person who runs ahead in the beginning doesn’t win the race and the one who skips water loses steam early. Smart runners let one person set the pace and stick close in the group, saving energy for the sprints closer to the end.

It’s the same in life. It’s important to think before acting.

Making moves to get attention doesn’t necessarily get you what you want in the long run. Bragging may momentarily make people listen but it can turn them off too. Not setting goals for yourself can leave you unprepared for what steps you should take and when. That said, you need to be prepared to alter your moves if something unexpected happens. When Meb Keflezighi took the lead ahead of Robert Kipkoech Cheruiyot, he passed the water station but chose not to drink at that point. Instead, he carried it until Cheruiyot, who he’d just passed, slowed down a touch. Then he got hydrated. That helped him to keep the lead and win the race.

Lesson #2: Don’t lose your sense of caring for others in your attempt to win. In your quest to succeed, don’t forget to be considerate of others when possible. Paula Radcliffe was the favorite by far to win the women’s race. She’s won 4 NYC races and is idolized by many of the racers. There was an air of respect for her among them.But you could see she was struggling. She stayed in front for many miles since the other women knew what she’s capable of and didn’t want to pass her early on. But then she began to drop back.

As they rounded the turn onto First Avenue, Derartu Tulu of Ethiopia must have noticed Radcliffe struggling. I’m sure Tulu wanted to win. Seconds can count in marathons. Yet she pulled alongside of Radcliffe and seemed to ask if she was okay and gave her an encouraging look as the other women just pushed to take the lead. I was very touched by that show of concern. I’m sure many would think it was a waste of time she should have used to focus on her run. I sat there rooting for her.

With it all, Tulu came in first. And in the midst of her victory, she went to give Radcliffe a hug when she limped across the finish line. That’s the kind of winner we should strive to be!

Helping co-workers sends out positive energy. Looking at them as competition you need to beat doesn’t. You’ve heard that winning isn’t everything and it’s true! In my book, Tulu won when she displayed humanity during the race. Years ago, I was at a conference and met someone who’d written a book on the same topic as one I’d written that had just come out. I introduced myself with an outstretched hand to a fellow writer. He glared at me and practically barked, “You’re my competition.”

We’re all human beings and a nasty attitude toward colleagues will not serve you well.

I just told this guy that there was room for both of our books and I’d be happy to support him if I could. He continued snarling at me. My books continue to sell well while he hasn’t had a new one in years. A bad attitude toward others can shoot you in your own foot. It attracts more bad energy. Tulu on the other hand, won the race despite taking time to show compassion.

Lesson #3: Don’t listen to what other people expect, or don’t expect of you. For many miles, the 2 runners from Kenya were in front of the men’s pack. US runner Meb Keflezighi was fourth. The commentators discussed how it could be first and second place for Kenya. Keflezighi had almost quit running not that long ago after an injury. Some said he was too old. He’d never won a NYC marathon. They hoped he could at least get third place. There were many American men in the top 10 and Keflezighi wasn’t their first choice to have a chance to win.

If you believe the hype, you can sabotage your chance to win from the starting line.

Keflezighi didn’t. He got into the zone and kept running smart, like a winner. This guy and his family exemplify the American dream. His father worked hard to bring his family here from the African nation of Eritrea. All 11 children have done well. Keflezighi is a proud American and wore his shirt that said USA with pride. You could see the determination in his face. As they discussed how Cheruiyot, had the ability to pass Keflezighi, he increased his lead.

Despite all the other picks for the winner, Keflezighi won, with a big lead!

Have you been told that you can’t do something and let that affect your willingness to try anyway? There are many naysayers waiting to sink your boat if you let them. Opinions don’t hold you back. YOU hold you back if you believe the opinions and stop expecting to win because of them. Some of us are still held back by limits given as kids. People tell me they can’t do something because they’re too old, not thin enough, not smart enough, etc.

When someone tells me I can’t, it motivates me to prove them wrong.

It’s hard enough to win without being burdened by what others think. If Meb Keflezighi had listened to the doubt about his winning, he may not have had his full focus on winning. But he knew it was possible and went for it. It was felt that Derartu Tulu was too old to win at 37. But she did! People buck the system and ignore what others say all the time. I do! And I win when I do. So the next time you’re trying to succeed at something, block out doubts with “I can do anything I choose to do!”

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Surrender What You Want

2009-11-03T14:41:00.003-05:00

This is post 59 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

I’ve been going through some rough spots lately. There’s been pressure tied to a big project. I’ve also been having problems getting enough sleep. When I’m tired, it’s hard to function properly. Sometimes when I’m tired I forget the power I can tap into. I finally decided it was time to feel better. As I pondered what thoughts I could have to feel better, I realized that my higher power is there for me.

So I surrendered what was going on with my health to God. Then I looked for signs and boy did I find them!

I remembered that last fall I went through something similar. The change of seasons can affect our health. And on exactly the same October weekend a year ago as the one that just past, I also surrendered things bothering me to God and had an incredible transition. So I decided it would happen again on that weekend. I’d have my breakthrough and thanked God for it. Surrendering yourself to God, or the Universe, sends out a message of faith, which attracts the support you need.

Then I watched for God to speak to me with guidance.

Several people recommended that I check out the Sacred Center on 86th Street and West End Avenue in Manhattan. I realized that God was telling me to go check it out. When I got someone’s newsletter and the link was in it, I looked up and clicked. I figured Sunday was the best day to go since it was the weekend one year after my breakthrough last year. I knew it was no accident that I found it. So I decided to go to their service. It was at 2PM, which is better for me.

The church had a class after the service called Breakthrough, which I was expecting to have! Again, I knew this was God sending me there and I signed up.

Releasing my health into God’s hands led me to resources that helped me to help myself! Sunday I woke up feeling more refreshed than I have in weeks. While changing the TV channels to find a weather forecast, I passed Joel Osteen’s half hour show. I occasionally stop to listen to him for a few minutes but usually get distracted. This time I turned it on just as he began. And he spoke to me. I believe that I attracted Osteen’s message with my thoughts. He advised reaching your hand up and saying something like:

“As an act of faith, I’m reaching out my hand to receive healing.”

I did it with enthusiasm and felt psyched! I saw it as God reinforcing that He was with me on healing the health I surrendered to him. Other people might insist it was just a coincidence, like finding the Sacred Center. I choose to believe it was God encouraging me. Believing that makes me feel good and keeps my intentions on God’s loving support. It helps me to feel like I’m taking back control of my life, as I discusses in my earlier post on Control.

Feeling in control sends a strong message of intention to the Universe. Surrendering your outcome to your higher power begins the process.

The service and class at the Sacred Center was truly inspiring. The energy in the church was so pure and hopeful and I joyously sang along with their choir. The speakers blew me away. The reverend, August Gold, is very motivational and she also led the Breakthrough class. Besides all of that, I got some other signs. One that brought me to tears was the song the choir ended with—U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” After reinventing myself, I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. I keep my options open. I've considered that my theme song ever since.

Keeping your options open is surrendering your path to God.

I watch for opportunities and follow the lead I’m given. That song reminds me that I’ll always keep my options open. After I find something I’ve wanted, there are always new dreams and goals, and unknown opportunities. So I’ll never find what I’m looking for because I actually don’t look for anything. I surrender what’s coming and find it when the signs are there.

When you live with the faith that you’re taken care of, you’re taken care of. There’s great elation in accepting that’s how the Law of Attraction works!

I left the church feeling a lot better. My project got done and my sleep improved. I feel more hopeful about some things than I have in a while. And I continue to reach my hand up to God and say, “As an act of faith, I’m reaching out my hand to receive healing.” Next time you’re struggling with something, whether it’s your health or making a decision or you need help with your career, or romance or anything at all, try to find enough faith to put the situation into the hands of your higher being. Then try your best to relax in the knowing that it will all work out for your highest good.

I know it’s hard when you’re scared. But, as you try it and get what you need, it gets easier. Whenever I surrender what I need to God, He comes through. If you’re doubtful, acknowledge it and then ask for Him to take care of it anyway. You’ll feel the most power on your side than you can even imagine as this trust returns to you with good results.

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Downtime

2009-10-31T23:48:00.004-04:00

You may have noticed my lack of posts this week. I was out of town on several days, some of it unexpected but necessary. As I began to load my laptop into my backpack to get some writing in on the train ride on Tuesday, I felt stressed. The thought of lugging a computer around with me all day as I ran around to several meetings seemed awful compared to maybe an hour of writing that I could get done in transit. So I chose to leave it home.

Then I made a bigger choice—to give myself a break from writing my next blog post until I had time. I have a project on my plate taking up a lot more time than I imagined it would but it must get done. As emails piled up I thought I wouldn’t find time to sleep. So I cut myself slack and allowed myself to wait for the weekend to resume my posts and answer any unessential emails. I apologize to those of you who wondered what happened to me.

Sometimes you need to give yourself a break—from pressure, from rushing, from living up to what others want from you, etc.

In my DoorMat days I’d have just sacrificed my own needs to accommodate others. I’d have worn myself out schlepping my laptop around with me to take advantage of any small window of time. Now I prefer to take care of me. It’s very important to honor me and my needs, just as you should honor yours. I do my best to honor my professional deadlines but also know my limits.

I recently learned that as many as 90% of visits to doctors are for stress-related symptoms. 90%!

That means we mainly make ourselves ill. That's a very lousy thought! But on the flip side, it means we have the power to avoid many health problems. Taking downtime is crucial for good health. You may not be able to let go of everything but t least postpone something, to take the pressure or stress off of your life.

Sometimes you even have to let someone down by canceling plans if it means your improved mental health! I do that if I must for my health.

Yesterday I turned the next round of my project in. I’ve already been given more that needs to be done. But, I decided I’m entitled to take the weekend off. So I’m not thinking about it right now and will do some of the other things I’ve put off. And, for my efforts on the project, I got word today that I’m getting a bonus! It was my priority and I finished it.

Downtime is essential for everyone! You must allow“me” time, specifically to do things for you.

That doesn’t just mean just catching up on chores. You have to relax—have some fun—spend time with people you care about—JUST BE! I love to just be. No agenda or commitments. I can go for a run, or not. Chill with a book in bed. Vege and watch movies. Or write my blog. I actually just got back from a fabulous massage, which I really needed. Now it’s raining and I’m staying in. I love to go to the Halloween parade here in NYC but not tonight. Rest is more important.

Today was mine and so it tonight and tomorrow. You must sometimes take your days too!

Pay attention to your stress level. What can you let go of, or at least postpone? Your health and sanity are worth it! I was always on edge when I lived in DoorMatville, juggling everyone else’s balls while I had none of my own to attend to my needs. Now I greatly appreciate loving myself enough to make ME a priority. It’s a loving place to be and keeps me from going to the doctor with stress related symptoms. Reduce your own stress if you feel it affecting your mood and your body. You’re worth it!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Be YOU

2009-10-23T16:50:00.008-04:00

I recently went to a school reunion and it showed me how far I’ve come. Everyone remembered me for the shy, quiet girl I was. There were people who I’d known all the way through college and beyond that I eventually lost touch with. It was a weird experience for me. I spent some time with people who were good friends when I was young and most hadn’t changed much.

You can get stuck in old habits and never grow as a person. These people has just gotten older.

From junior high school through college I had a friend name Shari. Toward the end of our school years she became fixated on status. She didn’t date Bob. She dated a dentist. Her whole identity was wrapped around WHAT she was and WHAT she dated and then married. I had a hard time with it, even when I had low self-esteem. We eventually lost touch. When I bumped into her a few years later, I asked how she was. “I’m a doctor’s wife!” she exclaimed. I asked if he had a name and if she had any sense of self left. She gave me a dazed look and I knew why we weren’t friends anymore.

Insecurity leads us to see ourselves by our relation to other people or what we do or what we think others want us to be.

I got married at 20. I didn’t think I should but we’d been together for 3 years and our parents pushed us to commit so marriage become my life track. I became a teacher because I was told that’s a good profession for a woman, though it was the last thing I wanted to do. My parents were proud of me for following what they saw as the norm for women.

DoorMats can’t say “no” or think for themselves and we can lose ourselves by being what others want!

I lost myself. I was someone else’s wife, daughter and teacher but had no idea who Daylle was. It was a sad time for me, beyond just being a DoorMat. The lifestyle I’d created had me living for everyone else. My whole identity revolved around what I did, not who I was. Being a Doormat, my need to please kept me stuck in that mode for years. As more time passed, I became more scared to find out who I was or to create an identity based on just me.

When your sense of self is dependent on who you are to others, you have no sense of self at all!

It felt like it was too late to try. I was resigned to be stuck in that mode. But after a series of events that made me feel less worthless and undeserving of a real life, I slowly dipped my toe into the water of exploration. The more I appreciated myself, the more I looked to find me. Unlike Shari, who’d looked for WHAT she could glom onto, I wasn’t seeking someone or a role. I just did what I was told. Finding me turned into a delightful adventure.

Coco Chanel said, "How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.”

Do you call yourself a business person or a great person? A writer or a happy being? A [whatever you do for a living] or a good soul? A wife or a smart chick? A CEO or passionate guy? Of course I'm a writer too, but it's not my identity, just a piece. My primary WHO is a spiritual woman who is passion driven in many areas, and a happy, talented chick.

Being a WHAT comes with pressure to fulfill a role. Being YOU means the sky is the limit for being happy and fulfilled. Coco Chanel walked to the beat of her own drum. By doing so, she created an empire inspired by her passion. Now that I know who Daylle is, I’m delighted with the knowledge. It gives me the power to create my own world, instead of living in the shadow of someone else’s.

When I saw Shari at the reunion, she was unhappy and bitter about her life. She'd spent all her energy getting a doctor to marry her and then years trying to make the marriage work. When she finally had what she thought she wanted, she faced the realization that her husband was a controlling, cold man. A doctor, yes. A good, loving husband, no. Far from it! At that point she was unprepared for what to do. Her whole goal in life—to be a doctor’s wife—crumbled into unhappiness.

When you lose yourself in being some else’s someone, you can lose touch with how to be happy.

Pay attention to WHO you are. Is it who you want to be or are you living for someone else. Are you doing what you do to please your mom or spouse, to impress friends or another superficial reason? Too much happiness is lost in trying too hard to be something, instead of someone you like and feel good being. When I left DoorMatville, I also shed the layers of my old identities and became a person in my own right. The happiness I feel is indescribable. If you can’t define WHO you are without a WHAT or someone else, work on it!

Being yourself is a great gift for YOU!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Being Flexible

2009-10-21T00:04:00.003-04:00

This is post 58 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

It’s important to put out what you want to the Universe, and be clear about it. I’ve emphasized that in previous posts. But it’s also important to flexible about what you receive. If you’re focused on one very specific objective, you can miss out on some wonderful opportunities or situations that you couldn’t have imagined by thinking just one-way.

Being locked into something rigid leaves no room for the Universe to send you what’s for your highest good.

For example, if you decide that you want to work for a specific kind of company or only work in one area or for only a certain amount of money, the career opportunity of a lifetime may miss the Law of Attraction’s radar screen based on what message you send out. While it’s important to know what you want, it’s just as important to leave wiggle room for options you may not see when you try to manifest.

Leaving yourself open to what’s best for your highest good leads you to the best manifestations.

I lived in the suburbs before moving into Manhattan. When I decided to get an apartment here, I was sure I wanted to live on the upper Westside. It’s a cool neighborhood and I love going up there. I had over 2 months to find a place and went from one to another but nothing worked out. Apartments I wanted fell through. Mostly I found something wrong with every one I looked at. But I was fixated on a specific part of the upper Westside.

A guy at a service I was registered at suggested I open myself up to other areas. I refused and continued looking in my chosen neighborhood, wondering why no apartment felt right. But I kept trying. It got discouraging. And frustrating as the day I HAD TO move got closer. Then I realized that maybe I wasn’t meant to live where I was determined to and asked to be guided to the place that would be perfect for me. I got a call from a guy about an apartment in a neighborhood I’d never spent any time in and knew little about.

To show I was open to the best apartment for me, I went to look at it.

It was perfect! I never thought I could be so happy living in a big city since I’m really a country girl. But my spacious, bright apartment has made me happy I was flexible for many years! I’m in the heart of midtown, right by the subway that goes both to the east side and the west. Everyone is friendly. Had I stuck to my belief that I had to live on the upper Westside, I can’t imagine being as happy.

Flexibility tells the Universe that you trust it to send you what you need, and at the right time.

When you hold fast to exactly how you want something to manifest, it says that you trust your judgment more than God’s. Of course you should be clear about what you want. But it’s also good to add, “or whatever is best for my highest good.” My faith is so strong that I completely trust that the Universe will send the best possible situation and my thoughts allow it to happen.

Being rigid about what you want can attract what really might not be good for you or you may not get something you didn’t know you could have but would love.

Beth complained to me for a long time that she hated her job because of the people she worked with. There was a lot of tension between staff and she wasn’t treated with the respect she deserved. Each week left her more fed up and it began to take its toll on her health. I told her to get another job. She had been in the same place for so long she didn’t know where to go. She looked to transfer to another department but there were no openings. Then she heard about something a little different, and was told when it was available, she’d be strongly considered for the position.

Beth felt excited for the first time in ages and became set on this potential opportunity. Months passed and it still wasn't available. She lamented to me when I suggested looking elsewhere that this position seemed perfect for her and it was a miracle she even found out about it. But waiting indefinitely was taking its toll on her so I suggested she consider that maybe God had sent her the potential opportunity to show there were better jobs than she could envision on her own. I pushed her to start searching for them and put it into God’s hands!

“Please help me find the job that will give me the most satisfaction and contentment.”

She listened and ended up turning down the one she’d waited for when it did open up because an even better one manifested. Beth is still in awe that after so many years of being unhappy in her career, she’d found a way to put her skills to good use in a way that made her love going to work. If she hadn’t allowed herself to be flexible about what she attracted, she’d never have known about what she could do to earn a living.

Often you may not get what you thought you wanted and you do get what you didn’t ask for and later discover the wisdom of what the Universe helped you manifest—that you did get the best thing for you!

Set your intentions with an open mind. Be clear about what you want—a job you love, a romantic partner who makes you happy, the perfect place to live, all the abundance you need, etc. But don’t insist on the job being only in one place, the person having blue eyes or other speific features, the living space with a set floor plan, or the exact dollar amount. Let the Universe help you find what’s right for you.

Giving the Universe responsibility for attracting what is for your highest good brings you the best rewards. To this day, I’m still completely grateful for being led to the apartment I’m in now. When you really trust, you attract the fruits of that trust!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Saying “Yes” to Spontaneity

2009-10-16T23:14:00.003-04:00

I’ve always considered myself a spontaneous kind of girl. It sounds good to think I am! But lately I’ve been so immersed in writing books that I try to keep a tight schedule. Last minute invites were automatically turned down as my time was already planned. If my intention was to write, that was what I did. I realized that this spontaneous kind of girl had lost her spontaneity, and I didn’t like that!

Until this week…

It wasn’t planned, that’s for sure, but since last weekend I’ve been making up for lost spontaneous time. It began with a decision to do more to actively nurture myself. I knew I needed some spiritual and energy boosts. I’ve been tired lately trying to do too much in too little time. It’s kept me hibernating as I try to make my deadlines. And write the posts for this blog! I felt like I was losing part of me in the process and had to change that.

Last week I called the church where Louise Hay got her ministry. It’s not too far from my place and I wanted to know if they carried a book in their bookstore. “By chance,” the head minister answered. Everyone else had stepped out for a minute. He answered my question and then we had a nice chat about how much I’d learned about manifesting from the ministers there.

He mentioned the theme of this months Sunday lessons. It sounded interesting and he asked if I was coming.

Maybe, I said, though I was thinking, I hate to go out on Sunday morning, especially when it’s cold. That’s a day I laze around, catch up on emails, watch news shows and mindless ones on MTV, etc. I thought about it Saturday night and considered how nice it would be to go to the service. Nicer if I could go without having to get dressed and go outside to be there! I still considered it when I woke up Sunday. I decided my reasons for not going were lame. A good spiritual shot of inspiration would be good for me. So at the last minute, I went!

Spontaneously pushing yourself out of a lazy habit or automatic negative response can bring very positive rewards.

The service was wonderful and an extra treat was afterwards, we all got to speak individually to a practitioner. I really enjoyed that, after reveling in all the good energy during the service. People shook hands and greeted each other. Warmth abounded. I got motivated and left with a big smile and gratitude that I had made that spontaneous move.

Hmmmm…. Was the spontaneous kind of girl returning?

On Wednesday I went to a meeting for a committee I volunteer for. I had noon and 3:30 appointments so I was anxious to get back to my writing. But after the meeting, Jan Goldstoff, the publicist with the golden rolodex, asked me to have coffee with her. Though we’d been on the committee together for a year, we’d wanted to get to know each other better.

This wasn’t a good time for me but after hesitating, the newly resurrected spontaneous kind of girl agreed, and it was delightful.

Jan called me the next day just before 5PM to invite me to her ch’i kung class at 6. She raved about the teacher and insisted I’d really enjoy it. I was very tired and it was a miserable day. The weathermen used Nor'Easter in their forecast. The class was downtown. I couldn’t stop yawning. So I said maybe. But I didn’t want to leave my warm, dry apartment. Jan encouraged me. I thought about it. Since I’d vowed to do more to nurture my spirit and energy, I agreed to go, and had to hustle to get dressed, catch a train downtown and make it on time.

Sometimes you have to dig deep into self-love to stimulate your spontaneity.

I enjoyed my hour doing ch’i kung with instructor Paul Bloom. He walked us through gentle movements to relax, detoxify the body and increase energy. Ch’i kung is easy to do yet the benefits are many. I felt more relaxed and a bit more energized than the sleepy girl was when I left home. Jan and Paul were amazed that I’d spontaneously got dressed, jumped on the subway and came to the class with little notice. I left feeling revved that I’d done this to nurture me.

To enjoy life to the fullest, it’s important to be open to spontaneous activities. Otherwise, you can miss out on some of life’s wonderful blessings.

Today I came full circle. My actual first spontaneous move was when I saw a report on the news 2 weeks ago about Spa week in NY. This week many spas have a special price for select treatments. They showed someone getting a Thai massage at Erika Bloom Pilates Plus. I’ve always wanted one and without missing a beat, I called and made an appointment for today, with Brynne Billingsley, who I saw on TV.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………….

Brynne gave me one of the best massages I’ve ever had. I didn’t know exactly what Thai massage was and thought it was just a series of stretching but oh, it’s so much more. Brynne spent a lot of time working my energy lines on my legs, and worked my body from toes to head. Energy points, sore muscles, everything got attention. She’s small but very strong. I like a hard massage and that’s what I got. I could have asked her to go easy but know that the pressure that creates the pain will work its magic in my body after.

I thought about John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Hurts So Good!”

This week I became spontaneously nurturing from love—self-love! I needed to get refreshed and jumped at opportunities to do so. Next time you’re about to turn down an invitation or opportunity that you might benefit from but it’s last minute, think before you turn it down. Spontaneity brings many rewards. Doing things that are fun or nurturing increases smiles.

And smiles stimulate serotonin, which makes you feel good. So try being a bit more spontaneous. Find more reasons to smile. Give yourself some spiritual and energy boosts. Find ways to nurture you. When I was a DoorMat, I nurtured everyone but me. This is a whole other level of MUCH BETTER! Try it. Self-love grows when you give yourself attention. I know, because I used to hate myself and now that’s changed 1000% as I love myself more each day.

There’s nothing more glorious than loving yourself and self-nurturing helps get you there! If you have to be spontaneous to do that, it's well worth it!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Exorcising Mental Demons

2009-10-14T19:28:00.004-04:00

This is post 57 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

We know the importance of putting out clear intentions about what you want or need. But, it’s not always as easy as knowing. Yes, you can give lip service about what you want but that doesn’t do the job if your conscious, or even your subconscious is screaming with doubts. People have told me they can’t manifest when they can’t get over their fear or uncertainty. But you can!

Even when your thoughts aren’t aligned for manifesting, you can ask for help and get what you need.

I understand that manifesting isn’t easy. While I write about it and use it a lot, I still encounter blocks of my own doing. Everyone does. There have been times that I was waiting for important career news and was scared it wouldn’t go my way. I’d be worried about getting it and even more worried that I was worried which would therefore keep me from attracting what I wanted.

Sometimes when it’s very important to get what you need, fear of something bad happening or not getting the essential outcome can cloud your intentions and send the wrong message.

For example, you may be waiting to hear back about if you got the umpteenth job you interviewed for. You need this one. It’s been hard not getting all the others. You have bills to pay and money is fading. So you HAVE TO get this job. But, the pressure takes your thoughts to a place of panic or assuming you won’t get this one either since all the others fell through. You may assume that this will deflect the Law of Attraction in the wrong direction and make you feel like it’s hopeless to manifest the job if you can get those demons out of your head. WRONG!

Instead of asking for the job or whatever else you need, ask for help getting over the negative feelings first.

In the past I’d get the negative feelings and succumb to acceptance that I probably wouldn’t get what I wanted, since things had fallen through before. It became my pattern, just as it can if you’re trying to get a job you desperately need. It can seem super hard to pull out of that mindset. It did for me until I learned to deal with what was happening in the moment—negative thoughts about what I hoped to manifest.

Now I apologize to God for doubting His support, explain that I do trust but am just scared since what I need is important, and ask for support in getting beyond those doubts.

I’ve had real conversations out loud, explaining that my faith is strong but I’m scared because____, don’t want to feel that way, do want to move past the doubts, so please help me manifest. Acknowledging it out loud helps put it into perspective and I begin to feel more empowered quickly. Then I keep saying thanks for understanding that even though I may sound a bit unsure, I truly believe I should get what my intention put out.

I often get signs that God is listening. Unexpected good things happen. You must be vigilant and open to accepting little things as signs.

Last week I had a setback with a book I’m writing. A bit of fear hit me as I worried the deal would fall through. I asked God for a sign that He heard me. When I got my mail later, there was a check for $300 from my insurance company, saying their expenses were lower than expected so here’s some money back! Hello! When does a profit making company send money back???

I still don’t understand why I got it, except that God orchestrated a mini-miracle to answer me.

When I tell people that, they laugh and tell me it’s my imagination. Maybe it is but when I prefer to see these kind of instances as God talking to me, my mental demons start to fade and my thoughts become more positive as I exalt in feeling God’s support. Imagination or not, it helps me get into a more manifesting frame of mind, so bring on the imagination incidents! They do the job! [FYI: No joke, as I wrote this, my lamp next to me went off for no reason but turned right back on. Hmmmm....]

Illness is a situation that can be especially scary and make it hard to manifest.

Someone close to me has—NO, had—cancer. He endured major surgery and then 4 weeks of chemo and radiation. It’s scary. We can’t lose him. Period! But yesterday I talked to his wife. Soon he’ll be getting a PET scan to see if they got it all. She’s nervous, which can’t be avoided. This is a life I’m talking about, not finding a job or romance. It’s hard not to get scared about losing your life partner.

But it’s okay to be scared. Actually, it’s normal. But you can still acknowledge it and ask for support in getting through the fear.

His wife wakes up during the night with thoughts about his cancer recurring. I told her to immediately say thanks for his good health. The demons can haunt her. I advised her to keep the word cancer out of her thoughts altogether. In a recent post called Positive Words I explained how you shouldn’t use negative words in your intentions. So instead of avowing that her husband is cancer-free, I advised she just affirm that his health gets better every day. Whenever the demons get into her head, ask for the strength to get past them and for support despite them.

As I keep putting out my intentions and acknowledging my fear, the more empowered I feel.

Next time you feel nervous about something you want, acknowledge that you can’t help feeling nervous, that you truly want to believe and do in most ways, and why you need what you’re asking for. Then ask for support in getting it, even with the doubts. As this begins to work, you’ll have less and less doubts to get in the way of getting what you want. Let the Law of Attraction help you exorcise your demons to get what you want.

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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Keeping Your Cool When You’re Heated

2009-10-10T18:14:00.003-04:00

I’m astounded at how many times I’m out in public and hear someone yelling. Often it’s a romantic couple yelling at each other. People who have problems in a store yell at the cashier or manager. Motorists yell at other drivers. Parents yell at their children, who sometimes yell back at them. Most have something in common—frustration with something the person did or didn’t do and a need for resolution.

The trouble is, reacting with negative emotions rarely gets good resolution and can make the person less likely to play nicely with you.

Frustration leads us to behavior that can give you more reasons to be frustrated. If the super in your building doesn’t come to fix your leaky sink, it can make you angry. After all, you pay your rent and are entitled to service. You try asking again and get lip service but not actions. Each time you clean up water from your floor, you get angrier and more frustrated that you can’t get service. So you go look for the super, ready for a fight.

Letting your emotions explode into communication will get you much less than playing nicely.

Losing your cool with your super will probably just frustrate you more when you don't get the leak fixed since your attitude annoyed him. Speaking in a rational, friendly and firm tone, indicating you may have to go higher, but don't want to, can get him into your apartment. When I was a Doormat, I’d hold my feelings in and go along with most things, or just keep my mouth shut. But that didn’t mean it didn’t bother me. On the contrary, it bothered me on 2 levels: one that the person didn’t keep their word or acted poorly, and two, that I felt powerless to do something about it.

Feeling powerless can stoke frustration.

Eventually, my anger and frustration would reach a peak and I’d explode at someone, telling them what they’d done wrong and what I wanted. Yet that didn’t usually help. It wasn’t until I learned that addressing situations by speaking nicely, but firmly that I began to feel powerful. In my DoorMat days, my emotions controlled my responses. Now I control them, with a calm response said in a friendly but firm way.

Norman Vincent Peale said, "The cyclone derives its powers from a calm center. So does a person."

When I saw that quote, it got me thinking about hurricanes. When I pay attention to one being tracked, there’s often someone standing in a town being hit by one, yet the weather seems okay. They explain that the eye of the storm is over them, so they’re having a break. Not being science savvy, I’ve never understood how a storm packing 100 mile an hour winds and torrential rain can be calm in the middle. But it is.

In life as in weather, when we keep our inner emotions calm in the face of emotional situations, we keep our power and can control having a calm response that gets more.

I recently was waiting on line for service. The woman in front of me complained this was her third time trying to get what I was there for. She warned me I probably wouldn’t get it either. She described how she had raised her voice to them many times but they didn’t take her seriously and were uncooperative. She was there for one final confrontation. I was also frustrated by having to come in person for service but planned not to take it out on the service rep. I suggested she speak nicely but she insisted that would get her nowhere fast.

I refrained from pointing out that she had already gotten nowhere fast by raising her voice. So she she yelled at the rep again, and left in a huff of more frustration.

When I stepped up to the person who had caused this woman’s frustration, I smiled. She smiled back. I nicely explained my problem and asked how she could help me. She explained what she’d do. I firmly, but still in a friendly manner, explained why that wasn’t enough. The frustrated woman before me said she’d tried to get to a supervisor but they’d never called one.

I nicely asked to speak to someone else who could make what I was there for happen.

She asked me to wait and went to another office. When she returned, she’d spoken with a supervisor who had authorized her to give me what I wanted. I expressed my appreciation profusely. The whole encounter felt so much better than getting emotional and letting her feel my wrath like the other woman did. That makes people not want to bother going out of their way for you. She then thanked me for the way I handled it and gave me her card in case I had another problem.

It’s not easy to stay calm when you’re angry or frustrated, but it’s what you must strive to do. That's how you get people to hear you most objectively or get their cooperation.

Whether it’s dealing with people in my personal or professional life, with service people or whoever else I might need to address a problem with, I do affirmations about getting what I need to calm me down. Then I watch WHAT I say and HOW I say it.

· Will I began with an accusation or other attack or set a friendly tone with a “hello, how are you?”

· Will I tell her how angry I am, letting the emotion come out, or just state the problem?

· Will I go on and on about how angry I am or be concise and then ask how they can resolve it?

· Am I angry, antagonist or smiling and friendly?

· Am I using nasty or insulting words or just making a point?

Controlling your response can lead to getting what you need much more often than going off on someone. Staying calm in the face of angry situations makes you a better person too. And it’s a logical choice since you get so much more. Be conscious of how you respond to frustration or anger. Keep the eye of your storm calm and you’ll get more and feel much better too!

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Insight into Mindfulness Meditation

2009-10-08T11:52:00.004-04:00

I'm very happy to have Dr. Ronald Alexander as my guest blogger. I often have a hard time sitting still and committing time to meditate. But when I do, it makes me feel so good! Below Dr. Alexander shares some basic info about mindfulness meditation, which is adapted from his new book, Wise Mind, Open Mind: Finding Purpose and Meaning in Times of Crisis, Loss, and Change (New Harbinger Publications, September 2009). If you've ever wanted to try this practice, you'll get some really good tips from this article and even more from his book.

The Basics of Mindfulness Meditation

Ronald Alexander, Ph.D.

Mindfulness meditation practice is a commitment that many resist, but it requires far less time and effort than most people realize. The time of day isn’t important; the regular practice is. Ideally, it should be practiced for 20 to 30 minutes twice a day in a quiet room with a closed door with no distractions. But it’s better to start doing 10 minutes once a day than aiming for the overall goal and then feeling overwhelmed by it and falling short. Use a timer to ensure that you meditate for as long as you planned. Aim for meditating at the same time in the same quiet and serene place, such as sitting down in your office chair for the first time in the morning, or sitting in your car, getting ready to drive home from the gym after your daily workout. Again, ideally choose a time when distractions will be minimal.

How to Perform Mindfulness Meditation
Here are the six steps of mindfulness meditation:

Step 1. Get into a comfortable posture. Sit crossed legged on a meditation cushion or with your legs extended straight out with your back against a wall for support, or sit in a chair with a firm back, keeping your feet on the floor and your spine straight, and tucking in your chin slightly to keep your vertebrae aligned properly. If you have any back, pelvic, or neck pain, back support is essential. In fact, you may want to lie down, with your head propped up at a 45-degree angle. If you’re sitting up, close your eyes, but if you’re lying down, keep your eyes half open to prevent yourself from falling asleep.

Step 2: Focus your eyes. With your eyes closed, focus them on one spot, ideally toward the tip of your nose or on your “third eye” (the chakra, or energy point in the middle of the forehead). Alternatively, look straight ahead at the insides of your eyelids or allow your eyeballs to roll upward. Whichever eye position you choose, make certain it feels comfortable and that your eye muscles are relaxed. If you have heightened anxiety or fears, you may want to open your eyes halfway or even fully, looking straight ahead at a spot on the wall or out the window at a stationary object, in order to ease those feelings. Another idea is to close your eyes and imagine being in a place where you always feel relaxed, save and secure.

Step 3: Pay attention to your breathing. With your eyes closed or halfway open, fixating them on one spot, breathe in with awareness of your lungs and your diaphragm. As you inhale, say to yourself, “In.” Exhale from your lungs and then your abdomen, saying to yourself, “Out.” Do this each time you breathe. You can also use the words “rising” and “falling away,” or “comfort” and “letting go,” or “surrender” and “release.”

Step 4: Place your hands in a relaxing and energizing mudra (hand position). In Buddhism, the mudra, or position of the hands, in meditation is important, because it affects the flow of energy throughout the body. There are three traditional mudras. Probably the most popular one is to touch the thumb and first finger to each other, and then hold your palms up, with your other fingers relaxed and straight, and rest the backs of your hands on your thighs. I describe two other ones common in Zen Buddhism in my book, Wise Mind Open Mind.

Step 5: Be aware. As you breathe in and out, mentally note the thoughts, feelings, sounds, tastes, smells, and physical sensations (such as itching, temperature, pain or discomfort, or feelings of heaviness and lightness) that you experience. Don’t try to analyze any of what you’re noting. Simply be present, open, alert, and watchful as you allow the witnessing mind to emerge. Observe the quality of the sensation if it has one, and categorize it: “heaviness in shoulders,” “bitter taste,” “lawn mower outside,” “painful thought about son,” and so on. Don’t explore this thought or feeling unless it occurs more than twice, in which case, ask if you need to deal with it now or after your meditation. If it needs to be addressed right away, allow yourself to be present with that sensation, feeling, or repetitive thought without judgment as it fades away or lessens in intensity. Afterwards write about it in a mindfulness journal (described in Chapter three of Wise Mind Open Mind), contemplate it or talk to a friend or counselor about it.

Step 6: Slowly come back into ordinary consciousness. Take three long, slow, deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Rub the palms of your hands together to generate heat, and place the palms over your eyes and face. Open your eyes and slowly lift your hands away from your face as you return to awareness. Inhale deeply and stretch your arms up over your head, with your hands interlocked. Bend slowly to the right and then to the left. Do this several times, and then bend forward toward your feet. Reflect on whether anything of importance revealed itself to you that you wish to write about in your mindfulness journal, think about, or attend to.

If you’re anticipating a stressful situation in which it will be challenging to remain nonreactive, or you’ll need to be able to access your creativity more than usual because you’re dealing with a perplexing problem, try to schedule a mindfulness meditation immediately beforehand. I’ve had clients meditate before attending a late afternoon meeting in order to refresh themselves creatively, and before a phone conversation with their ex-spouse, and they’ve reported that just five minutes spent in mindfulness practice makes a dramatic difference in their ability to remain calm, focused, and nonreactive.
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Dr. Ronald Alexander, Ph.D. is the author of the just released book, Wise Mind, Open Mind: Finding Purpose and Meaning in Times of Crisis, Loss, and Change. He is the director of the OpenMind Training® Institute, practices mindfulness-based mind-body psychotherapy and leadership coaching in Santa Monica, CA, for individuals and corporate clients. He has taught personal and clinical training groups for professionals in Integral Psychotherapy, Ericksonian mind-body healing therapies, mindfulness meditation, and Buddhist psychology nationally and internationally since 1970. Check him out!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Positive Spirits & Reactions

2009-10-06T19:03:00.003-04:00

This is post 56 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

How do you respond to annoying incidents? Do you let your job get to you and other people can feel it by your behavior? When someone makes a mistake, do you bristle and growl at them? Does your job get to you so much that it shows in how you speak to others?

An irritable reaction to circumstances can attract irritable spirits from others.

I admit that I do this. Things take their toll, especially if we’re stressed. I might be in a hurry and someone gets in my way and I want to smack them. While I don’t, I sometimes smack them with a look or sound. Then I feel irritable. And the person who got in my way may feel irritable from my nasty look or comment. Last week, 2 incidents made me more conscious of how we affect others and why it’s better to be positive about negative stuff.

Our moods can be like a virus that spreads from person to person.

Last week I called my health insurance company with a problem about billing. I’m used to a fairly low energy person answering. Instead, the woman was perky and friendly. I was actually taken aback and said responded that it was so nice to hear a cheerful person. She said that it was better to feel happy than down. Her voice was like a song compared to others I've spoken to. The rest of our interaction put me into a fantastic mood and I gave her back the same good energy. I was a bit tired when I called but hung up feeling better.

Positive energy attracts positive energy.

I am usually in a reasonably good mood and became more conscious of how it affects those around me. I’m always friendly to the people who work in my building and they’re very friendly and helpful to me. When I first moved in, I thought they were that way to everyone, but noticed they were more low-key with many of the tenants. One person would get a formal hello and then I’d come in behind them and say hi and get a big smile, because my energy attracts it.

Consciousness about how you treat others, and making an effort to treat them with good vibes, brings good vibes back to you.

Not long after my call to the friendly woman, I was riding on the subway with a lot of bags. When I got up to get off, a woman came toward me. I didn’t see her in time to avoid knocking my bags into her. I immediately said, “I’m sorry” in a sincere way and was delighted when she gave me a big smile and said, “no problem. It was an accident.” I’ve growled at people for doing that to me and probably put them into a bad mood. Yet this woman’s graciousness brought a smile to my face.

Being on the receiving end of good energy has shown me how important it is to be friendly and courteous to others, and keep a bad mood in check.

Graciousness can be contagious. And can spread it to others. When I give good cheer on the phone, I almost always get it back from that person, and others. If I force a good attitude when someone accidentally does something annoying, it make what happened easier to deal with and often attracts a smile from the other person. Being on the receiving end of it was a great reinforcement for treating people with a pleasant demeanor and excusing faults.

Calling a customer service person with a friendly attitude can attract a lot better service.

Any time you show friendliness makes YOU feel better. Be aware of your response. Grouchy doesn’t feel good. Growling can get growls in return. Graciousness gives you the best chance of attracting it back. It also feels better to give out. The more you consciously do it, the more it will become a natural part of your demeanor. A good demeanor towards others will truly make you feel happier. It sure has for me!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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Living "Aimlessly"

2009-10-02T14:36:00.003-04:00

I confess, I watch The Hills. Usually on reruns or on the computer. But I watch it and find it fascinating. I think it takes me away from reality for a while. Even if you don’t watch it, you still might have heard of Lauren Conrad. Her career as a reality TV star has expanded and she’s on many TV shows and often in celebrity news.
Usually I don’t learn life lessons on The Hills. But I did on the last episode last season.

It was Lauren Conrad’s last show. She went in to talk to her boss, Kelly Cutrone, about trying to figure out what she should do next with her career. Lauren knew what she’d done already but didn’t know where to go next. Kelly suggested “je voudrais flâner,” a French expression for "to walk around aimlessly with out a plan."

Most of us plan, or even over-plan our existence, since planning gives us control.

Or so we think, anyway. When you plan, you know what’s probably going to happen. You take a certain job at what you think is the right time, get married for the same reasons, or whatever else you map out as your life. "To walk around aimlessly with out a plan" can seem scary. Uncertain. Irresponsible. Downright crazy to some.

Yet walking around aimlessly with out a plan can help you see what there is in life.

It helps you stop to smell the rose, to use a cliché expression. And you get to see what possibilities there are, which you’re free to explore since you have no plan they’d have to fit in to. I’m sure that Lauren is financially set enough to take time off from working if she wanted to. More of us aren’t. But you can still walk around aimlessly in every aspect of your life but what pays the rent.

Think about how you’d feel with a blank day planner, at least for a week. Less pressure? A sense of loss? Or giddy at the idea of time, like I feel.

Fear of being lonely can make that an awful thought, but it’s really fun to kind of wing your time. A whole weekend with no plans can lead to finding fun things to do at the last minute that you’ve never thought to do before. It can show you that your own company can be fun. You might meet someone new in your aimless travels. And you might discover something you’re passionate about that can lead to a career change.

Being locked into a one-way life may give you control, but it’s control of things that can limit you. Faith is the antidote!

Faith allows you to try living at least some of the time without a plan. When you trust that you’ll be guided to what’s best for your highest good, you can fly by the seat of your pants, at least a little. If you never do, you can miss out on opportunities that can be life-changing or make you happier than what you planned to have. I thought about “je voudrais flâner” and realized it’s how I’ve lived for years.

Allowing yourself to be guided, instead of always trying to guide your destiny, makes for the happiest life! And, the least disappointment, since you can’t have problems following your plan if you have none. ☺

I drive some people crazy when I go on a trip. I might know the city or country I’m heading to but when they ask what I’ll do I say I’ll find it when I get there. Of course I get some info and may have things I want to see. But no plans. I hate taking tours or doing what I’m supposed to do in a city. I like to travel solo so I can figure out what to do as it comes to me from being there.

Living “je voudrais flâner” teaches you the benefits of being spontaneous. It can lead you to things you didn’t know existed.

I do this with my career too. I’ve no day job since I left DoorMatville. Before that my life was methodically planned. Now I have no steady income or plan for what I’m going to write. As I finished up my last book, I looked up and asked for something good to come. It did! I’m now writing a book that I could have never planned to write, but that is an amazing opportunity that I love doing. Had I planned more, my time wouldn’t have been wide-open to do it.

I have NO DOUBT that God leads my path to live “je voudrais flâner.”

Try to leave some time—on a weekend, after work, etc.—unplanned. Be spontaneous. Live in the moment and let yourself be guided. Ask to be. I always look up and ask for what I want, or for my next step, or a direction to walk in. I’m always led somewhere good. Ya never know where it can lead!!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Positive Words

2009-09-30T14:37:00.004-04:00

This is post 55 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

One of the best lessons I learned about the Law of Attraction is to always make sure I frame what a want using positive words. It makes a BIG difference in what you attract. The Universe picks up on our thoughts—literally. It doesn’t interpret what we want or make judgments about what we say. It hears the words, which is why there’s a big emphasis in Law of Attraction teachings about watching your thoughts and what you say you want.

What you think can be what you get—literally.

It’s obvious that if you feel down and say, “Woe is me” that woe will be you. “Everything goes wrong for me” makes more things go wrong. I understood that and watched those thoughts. Just as getting into a habit of doing that can take a while, the more you become aware of what you think and say, the more you’ll recognize how you sabotage yourself without meaning to by using negative words.

I learned that it’s critical to use positive words for EVERYTHING you put out as a desire or expectation. The Universe will pick up on a negative in what you think is a positive statement. Even if you mean it in a positive way, the Universe won’t stop to interpret it. For example:

· “My back no longer hurts.” Your hurting back will come back to you! Instead, say, “My back feels great.” That attract your back to feel great.

· “I won’t date any more toxic people!” Sounds good but sends “toxic people” out and back to you. “I’ll only date healthy people” gives you a better chance of breaking romantic patterns.

· “I am getting out of debt!” In or out, you send debt out as what you attract. It’s more fruitful to say, “I’m becoming financially solvent.” That helps you get out of debt.

· “My next sales won’t fall though anymore like they’ve been doing!” Oh yes they will if you say it that way! Instead, try, “I only attract sales that go through.” Then allow yourself to be guided to them.

It’s not as easy to do as it sounds. It’s so normal so say what you don’t want anymore instead of using positive words. You must be really vigilant of what you say until you get the hang of it, like riding a bike. You fall a few times, then shakily get it and then it becomes more automatic. I’d affirm something and later realized the words I used would attract negatives. That made me a bit more conscious for the next time.

The more conscious I got, the faster I caught myself until I got into the habit of using appropriate words.

As my manifesting improved with my choice of words, I had more motivation to choose them carefully. Think of it as a game—the game of manifesting! The rules are only positive words. The goals are to make sure you find good ones to replace negatives. The prize? Manifesting what you want!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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No More Long Term Disappointment!

2009-09-26T13:38:00.004-04:00

My last post for my Law of Attraction in Action series discussed disappointment and what we can attract when we feel it. I heard from a lot of people and wanted to add a few points to the topic.

Disappointment is a negative emotion that doesn’t feel good.

Negative emotions can hurt your health while positive ones enhance it. It’s your CHOICE to feel long term negative ones. It’s normal to feel disappointment when things don’t go your way. I don’t advocate just pushing it away when something you were hoping for or expecting doesn’t come through. That’s not healthy either! Work though it and then move on:

• Acknowledge your disappointment. Think about what happened, how you feel and why it feels so bad. Write down what it means to you if necessary to work through your feelings. It's okay to feel disappointed and have that lead to sadness. Fighting it keeps it alive. But it's also important to keep it in perspective!

• Talk it over with a friend. Someone sympathetic and positive can help you work through your feelings. Express how you feel and why. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you helps you let your sadness go.

• Don’t share your feelings with someone negative or who likes to dwell on them! They’ll just rehash your pain instead of encouraging you to look ahead to better things. Negative types can make you feel worse. Be selective about who you turn to.

• Allow your sadness to surface and grieve. Have a cry. It’s okay to feel down for a day or two as what happened sinks in. It’s when it becomes entrenched in your mood that it will be a problem. Soothe yourself with thoughts of other things in your life that are good.

• Ask yourself if you prefer to feel positive or negative. So simple! It’s your choice to feel bad or move on and find things to feel good about. When I feel like that, I clean, to take back control. I always feel better! Recite your blessings. Find what triggers you to snap out of a bad mood and use it.

• Accept that things happen for a reason and move on. When your faith is real, you can trust it will all work out for your highest good. Trying this and seeing it works is the best medicine for overcoming disappointment. Finding the reasons for what happened however far down the road is super empowering!

After my last post I heard from Brenda, who told me a story that I asked if I could share. She went to parochial grade school. When they felt disappointed, one of the nuns told the students not to be and not to think God wasn't answering their prayers. Brenda still remembers the nun saying:

“God did answer your prayer. He said NO because he knew it wasn't for our well being at that time...”

As the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want." And that's okay. Not getting what you want helps you appreciate when you do. Acceptance is a key to moving past disappointment. Even for big things, God has a plan, even if it’s not the one you so desperately wanted. When you can accept that, it’s easier to let go of disappointment and leave more room for being happy!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Disappointment

2009-09-22T17:15:00.003-04:00

This is post 54 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Everyone gets disappointed. It’s just part of being alive. If you have no disappointment, you’re probably not living fully enough. I’ve said this at a talk and people have questioned how someone with strong faith in the Law of Attraction can be disappointed. Shouldn’t I just keep attracting what I want? No! It doesn’t work that way. And honestly, it’s better that way. Disappointments help us appreciate the good stuff. If everything went your way all the time, you’d take your blessings for granted.

I don’t manifest 24/7. There are many times that I’m so busy I forget my own lessons. Disappointing? Nope! It’s being human.

Often disappointments are also things we want that don’t happen because it’s not best for our highest good. If all we had to do to get anything was wish, we’d all have everything. But what you want may not be what you need or may not be best for you. Even so, if it doesn’t happen, you can become disappointed. That can set off a negative thought with a negative chain reaction.

Disappointment tells the Universe you feel let down. It's almost like the opposite of gratitude, which attracts blessings. So guess what disappointment attracts!

Disappointment can also block you from taking future risks in faith. People withhold joy and adventure in the name of avoiding disappointment. You might not realize you do it consciously but it happens. Disappointment doesn’t feel good. I agree. But you can’t let it stop risks or looking forward to getting stuff you want. And you shouldn’t let disappointment create fear—of being let down by not getting what you want.

Disappointments are road bumps, not doors that shut. It’s your choice, not your sentence, to get too discouraged to try again.

It’s a natural reaction to let the memory of disappointments permeate your consciousness and effect your decisions now. That’s living in the past, yet many of us do that. Disappointments wound us. They hurt. I’ve had some major letdowns that literally whammied me into pain as bad as a physical wound. It happens to us all. You may get fired or have a business tank or a deal fall through or lose someone you care about or a gazillion other letdowns. Your perspective about what happens determines your future.

When you’re disappointed, do you tell the Law of Attraction that you’re angry at what you got, or have faith that it happened for a reason?

I choose the latter. I’ve accepted that things happen for a reason and something that isn’t for my highest good won’t happen, even if I want it badly. I learned this when a top literary agent was enthusiastic about repping the first book I wanted to write. She was sure I’d get a 6-figure deal for it and insisted I go buy a conservative suit to wear to meet with editors. I did and walked around in frenetic excitement, expecting to be rich soon. But not one editor wanted to meet me and the book go no offers.

I was devastated when the agent gave up and mourned for a day to soothe my disappointment. Then I affirmed, “Everything happens for a reason, Whatever is meant to be will be.”

The Universe worked with me and brought me the reasons. I self-published a newsletter to have something to write and sell. Doing that made me a better writer and helped me solidify my writing voice. I needed to do that before editors got into the mix and pushed me possibly in the wrong direction. Feedback from people who subscribed to my newsletter gave me a confidence in my ability to write that I never would have if I’d gotten a deal back then.

Realizing that strengthened my faith and the Law of Attraction responded by showing me a better direction.

Disappointments can make you quit, or make you stronger. I got stronger! They can spark your determination to ultimately succeed if you let them. Disappointments have a profound effect on many people in ways they don’t easily recognize and spur you to send out counterproductive messages that helps the Law of Attraction send you more of what you don’t want, such as:

• “My romantic partner broke my heart. I’ll never love again!” If you prefer to never have love again, go for it. Otherwise, change your perspective to something like, “Next time I’ll love someone who is good for me and will treat me well.”

• “I’ll never get a job as good as the one I lost.” Is that what you want? If not, don’t say it!

• “Things aren’t going well. Life sucks!” Need I elaborate on what the Law of Attraction will bring you if you say things like this?

When you accept life’s circumstances and learn to roll with them, with a positive perspective, you’ll attract something more positive later. It can take a while. Years after the book I mentioned earlier didn’t get even a nibble from publishers, I’m grateful I never wrote that book. I know that had I gotten it published, my career would be very different. As I grew, so did my take on self-empowerment. That book would have steered my career in a direction that I’m so glad I didn’t go in. So in retrospect, if worked out perfectly.

Turn your disappointments into blessings! You can if you change how you view them.

Tell the Universe it’s okay, and that you trust you’ll get what's best for your highest good at the right time. Disappointments also teach when we let them. You can learn what to do better or differently next time whether it’s a relationship, business, trusting someone who let you down, etc.

Disappointments usually mean that what you wanted wasn’t for your highest good or the thoughts you put out attracted what disappointed you.

Either way you can control them. Tell the Law of Attraction you’re open and willing to accept what you get, and then watch your thoughts carefully to let the Universe know exactly what you expect. Doing that cuts down on disappointments and makes the best of the ones you have. I gave away the suit my first agent made me buy with the tags still on it. It wasn't my style. Now, my whole career is tailored to who I am and it fits me well! I'm so glad I turned that disappointment into a blessing!

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Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-09-19T17:39:00.005-04:00

Another year to celebrate! I’m flat out kid today. Fun. Eating. Being lazy. Celebrating. Kids do these things. Adults often minimize the day as not a big deal or lament another year. As I said in my post on Monday for the Law of Attraction in Action series on Aging, birthdays are a fabulous way to celebrate another year of your life.

Choose to take care of yourself so you can age well and not be intimidated by getting older.

People tell me I’m lucky when they hear my age. I’m usually taken for a lot younger than I am. My skin is youthful, my body fit and my muscles strong. What surprises people the most is I don’t need glasses for anything. I recently went to an eye doc to get my form filled out to renew my driver’s license. Even she was surprised at my excellent vision. Lucky? Nope.

You too can have good health luck by taking excellent care of it like I do.

I’ve always tried to have good health habits. Maybe the luck is having parents who taught me the importance of taking vitamins and supplements, exercising, and paying close attention to the general care of my body. Since my late teens I’ve consciously cared for my skin. I read many health magazines to learn about what’s best for me. People laugh at me when they see how many pills I take each day. Let them! I just have to look in the mirror, look at them without glasses or see the numbers on my blood tests to laugh back!

Age isn’t just a number. It represents the number of years you’ve been blessed to be on this earth!

Each year is a blessing, not a curse. You make it a curse when you look at yours in a negative light. Sure I have more limitations than I used to. I feel it a little more when I stay out late or other activities. Oh well. Should I lament? Nope! I just work with what I have and watch myself a bit more since I don’t want to hurt my health.

Agatha Christie said, "I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

Being alive is a grand thing! A very grand thing! Don’t let other people or the media make you mourn birthdays. Celebrate you on your day, as I’m celebrating me today. You’re alive, and the same person you were yesterday. You don’t just change as the day comes. You can work with your years and enjoy them or work against them and be at unhappy about getting older, which ruins your joy!

This post is short today because I have things to do to celebrate! Special people, a reflexology session, enjoying the glorious weather I always attract for my HAPPY day! I’m wearing my t-shirt that says, “Women do not have an expiration date." You can see it backwards in the pic.

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Shifting from Duality to Relationship

2009-09-16T13:21:00.006-04:00

Today I welcome Barbara Joye as a guest blogger. She’s stopping by on her virtual book tour for the title she co-authored, The Light Won: A Tutorial in Co-Creation.

Considering a Shift from Duality to Relationship
by Barbara Joye

I have often asked myself why life seems to be so difficult, so hard. In communicating with the Angelic Realm during the co-creation of the book The Light Won, I believe the Angels provided an answer that makes sense to me and to those I have shared it with thus far. The answer is that we are living life in ‘Duality’ rather than in ‘Relationship’. In fact we even live our relationships in a duality format.

Duality has been the manner in which we have lived for generations – perhaps since the beginning of time. As such, we are all well steeped in the ‘Game of Duality’ and know how to play it well. Duality says that this is right and this is wrong and gives us all the roadmap for living. Or does it?

Duality is, in fact, not an essence that our deeper persona relates to well. In the space our spirit lives, duality is an energetic drain as nothing else can be. And, if it is in the space our spirits live, perhaps it is for the human body and the human experience as well.

Perhaps it is well worth our time and effort to rethink our connection with The Game of Duality – and consider a shift to The Dance of Relationship. In the book The Light Won, comparisons between Duality and Relationship are provided in an insightful and powerful manner.

“What Duality defines as comparative, Relationship defines as connected.”
“What Duality labels as opposite, Relations characterize as balanced.”
“What Duality classifies as ‘out of sync’, Relationship expresses as expended.”

As I spent time with these concepts and began to consider how my life might change if I were to relinquish the Game of Duality in favor of the Dance of Relationship, I began to understand why this was not such a simple process – not the ‘no brainer’ one might think it would be.

For starters, who would define what is good and what is bad; what is right and what is wrong; what is appropriate and what is inappropriate? I have a hard enough time now staying in step with the culture and am known as a bit of a maverick…what would my life look like if I really took it upon myself to determine rights and wrongs; goods and bads; and, perhaps most challenging of all, appropriates and in appropriates? How out of step or out of control might my life become?

With these thoughts in mind, I awaited the next meeting with the Angelic Realm to ask a few more questions about this ‘Dance of Relationship’. I decided that a bit more insight was important to my being willing to step out on what felt like a limb and become an individual who lives life in relationship. The morning arrived for our next discussion and I opened with the questions I had pondered. The discussion what brisk and energizing and provided me with a whole new perspective of a life in relationship.

To begin with, living in relationship is about living in an understanding of your position on a topic or idea; the resulting possibilities the position you hold supports you in creating; the possibilities create perspectives and opinions; and the perspectives and opinions create the preference which determines how we relate to a specific topic or idea or action or outcome.

Position, possibilities, perspective and preference…these are the elements of relationship.

When we live in relationship, we are able to see our own positions and resulting preferences and we are able, when we have developed our relationship talents further, to see another individual’s positions and preferences, thus the ‘Dance of Relationship. For with an ability to perceive the position and preferences of another individual, we have a greater chance of meeting somewhere in the middle…on the dance floor.

And please note, living in relationship does not mean we should or would relinquish our preferences. It simply means we would understand where our preferences were formulated (that would be our positions with their resulting possibilities and perspectives) and from that vantage point determine just how clearly we are perceiving and whether or not we are willing to make any change, no matter how slight.

This ability to shift - even a miniscule amount - is one of the hallmarks of relationship.

* Relationship provides a way to navigate the differences of opinions that duality does not;
* Relationship exposes our thinking and those of the other individual or group so we may all see each other’s perspective; and
* The dance of relationship provides the music for relating and for finding the center of the issue or difference.

So, if relationship is so powerful and effective, why are we not all actively engaged in and living the possibilities inherent in the Dance of Relationship? First and foremost, because we so steeped in the Game of Duality, the Dance of Relationship has gone unnoticed until now.

Secondly, when we engage in the Dance of Relationship, we have to become responsible for our decisions as we are each determining our action based upon our own position, possibilities, perspectives, and preferences. The one perceived benefit of the Game of Duality is that life is ‘black and white’ and we do not really have to make very many decisions on our own. The societal customs and norms are well established. And whether they are positive or not, they at least exist.

And finally, the Dance of Relationship takes time and effort. With our busy lives, we decide that it is simply too much work. Or is it?

I would ask each individual to consider what their life might look like if lived in the relationship format. How might you life be more dynamic? What might the benefit be to move into a knowing of your position and preferences on just a few topics in your life? Who might benefit if you were to interface in the relationships in your life from a relationship perspective? What do you put at risk by simply considering the possibilities – and what makes sense, engage in and what does not make sense, leave until later.

The Dance of Relationship awaits each of us with its promise of more music and rhythm to life…what do we have to lose?
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Check out Barbara Joye’s book, The Light Won: A Tutorial in Co-Creation.

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Aging

2009-09-14T12:21:00.005-04:00

This is post 53 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

My birthday is this Saturday, September 19^th. I’m looking forward to it with the joy of a little kid! Yet I hear over and over, people talking about their birthdays as one step closer to the end of their lives. They avoid telling their ages, even in their twenties. And they EXPECT to begin to get physical ailments as they approach their 40’s and beyond.

Hello! That screams to the Law of Attraction to make their aging process unpleasant. It usually works!

Each birthday is NOT a notch in your death sentence! It’s an opportunity to celebrate another glorious year on this earth. That’s what I do. My message to the Universe is that I intend to make the most of every day that I’m here. And my life keeps getting better. I attract better!

Getting old isn’t just in your head. Our bodies change. But you can adapt to the changes and find ways to keep up a positive attitude.

I admit, I get tired more easily these days. I hear it from others too. But creating a “woe is me” kind of message about getting more tired or your body aching a bit more as you get older and do activities attract more woe to you! The Law of Attraction brings you what expect. If you expect woe, you’ll get it! If you accept the changes with joy, knowing that the rest of your life is good, you’ll enjoy life a lot more.

Find ways around some of the glitches of getting older by taking better care of yourself, and you can offset it.

I’m still running several times a week. People even younger than me say they're sure they can’t do that anymore since they’re getting older and their knees will give them problems. Bah! When I began to run 4 years ago, I also began to take Glucosamine with Chondroitin and MSM. I knew it helps joints build more cartilage. When my mom (may she rest in peace) had a lot of pain during her power walks, her doc insisted she needed both knees replaced. I got her on the supplement and a few months later she was power walking pain free. Her doc was shocked that she no longer needed surgery.

So I take a smaller dose to protect my healthy knees, knowing I’m getting older and running can hurt my joints. And I take smaller (but more) strides than most runners, keeping my feet low to the ground to minimize impact. People laugh at me for all the supplements I take each day and the acupuncture I get regularly. But heck, I look much younger than my years and still do things that people much younger can’t keep up with.

Making some small conscious changes to protect your body, including your skin and hair, tells the Law of Attraction you intend to stay healthy as you age, and look better!

Friends I’ve known for years won’t tell me their ages, even though I know they’re younger than me and they know mine. Years ago I interviewed a famous singer, who was no more than 40 and told me she couldn’t get the number out of her mouth. It was too painful. What does that tell the Law of Attraction?—that aging is painful!

I acknowledge that there’s a lot of ageism out there, especially for women. I’ve been asked my age too many times before going on a TV show. It’s discriminatory and insulting! But that’s the way life is. I admit—I’ve lied to producers to get on the show and it’s never an issue after that. They call me back on. But age could get in my way of getting my foot into the youth conscious door.

Nonetheless, your age can’t be changed so you might as well make the best of your life instead of putting a damper on it by telling the Universe your age hurts you.

Find ways around any health issues that may come and don’t let them stop or depress you. Succumbing to fear of aging keeps you from living every day you have to the fullest. Happiness at any age is VERY possible. It’s up to you. Tell the Universe that aging makes you less of a worthy person or less healthy or less of anything and you’ll reap what you sow. Why ruin your joy!

Or, join me in celebrating every year of your life, without letting age get in your way. It’s YOUR choice how you perceive it.

I’ll begin my birthday celebration on Friday night and then celebrate all day on Saturday. Maybe Sunday too! But honestly, I try to celebrate every day as a new one. Saturday is the first day in the next year of my wonderful life. Not the beginning of another year closer to the end. It’s so much nicer to live in joy than fear or depression that you bring on yourself by expecting negatives.

I’m the same person no matter what my age. Universe—I’m ready for the next great year of my life! Bring it on!

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Keep Going!

2009-09-11T14:32:00.006-04:00

Every time I run I want to stop. Going up hills motivates me even more to begin to create excuses for why I should cut myself some slack. I play this game in my head almost every time I do it. Sometimes the tendon behind my knee begins to hurt a little. I’m used to it and it always stops as I continue. I know it’s just a stiff muscle but when it hurts, I want to stop.

But I’ve learned that when I push through the pain I get to the other side and am always glad I did.

Living means encountering some pain. It can be the pain of exercise or the mental pain of being in a relationship that has problems or going after something that isn’t working yet or a number of other things. Mental pain can be worse than physical. There’s a whole lot of things that can hurt.

Lance Armstrong said, "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."

If you quit, it’s over, but so are the possibilities that come after the pain. Running keeps me fit. I don’t feel like quitting the whole time—just when pain either starts in my tendons or I feel tired and spent going up a hill. I do some loving self-talk. Knowing that without running, I’d probably gain weight, I lovingly call myself tubby and add a pep talk about how I need the exercise and must push through the pain.

I always make sure to be conscious when my run is over and say congrats to me for finishing!

There are times I almost give up. Times I’m so hungry I just want to run to McDonald’s and pig out. But I know that if I cut myself slack that once and shorten how much I do, or give in to the excuses and short term pain, I’ve lost. I remind myself of that whenever quitting thoughts go through my head. How can one time mean I’ve lost?

Giving in once means I’ll do it again.

You can always find excuses to quit. And if they work once, they’ll work again, which is why I can’t go there. Just as I said in my post Just This Once—Not!, I know that once you cut yourself slack, it’s so much easier to do it again in the future. So I push myself to be strong and push through any pain I’m experiencing. It’s also painful for me to make the calls and send emails to media people or others for my career. Not getting anywhere is downright mentally painful!! But this is the career path I’ve chosen and it has to be done to stay a freelance writer.

While the idea of experiencing pain isn’t pleasant, the rewards can be sweeter than you’d expect.

I’d never joined a gym or worked out with weights until 2001, when I decided my concern about how I’d learn to lift weights needed to be overcome in order to stay in good shape and keep my bones strong. I’d heard about slow motion weight training, where you lift heavy weights very slowly and when your body feels like it will die from the pain, you hold it for another count of 10 seconds.

Sound painful? It hurt more than anything I’ve ever done.

It sounded good before I began. The routine only take a half hour or less once a week, since you can’t do more than a few reps of each and it takes a week to recuperate. The science behind it is to quickly push your muscles to intense failure. That builds muscles faster than any other workout you can do. The workout is done with a trainer, who guides, pushes and insists you do what’s necessary. Most weeks I’d leave swearing that was the last time. And as I’d push through the pain of doing the reps, I’d think, “I have to quit!”

But I didn’t! Each week I returned for more torture, as I thought of it.

I did this program almost every week for a year. Had I skipped or shortened a session, I would have quit completely. I got into the habit of congratulating myself on the way home each week. I was truly proud of me. And that was a big factor in the rise of my self-esteem. It was tough but I pushed through! I didn’t let the pain make me quit. That motivated me to go back.

Pushing though pain is winning! The confidence it gives you to take more risks or do things that seem hard is priceless. I switched to a trainer in a regular gym after a year. By then, I’d learned many valuable lessons:

1) I can use my breathing along with my mind to lift the weights by concentrating hard and breathing into the lift.
2) Lifting in slow motion is a great way to learn perfect form for weight lifting.
3) I can do whatever I set my mind to!

After that year my body was much more toned and I had unusually strong muscles for only working out once a week for a year. My new trainer says I bench press heavier dumbbells than any woman he’s ever worked with, with perfect form! I’m up to 2 at 40 pounds each! When I’m stumbling with something, I remember how I felt when I left a slow motion session—proud beyond words. Even when my dentist had to do painful work on my tooth, I took deep breaths and told him to just keep going so it would be done faster instead of taking many breaks and dragging it out.

Self-love is a big motivator to push through pain. Doing so made my body healthier, which is important to me. Love yourself enough to drive through pain in situations that you know can have a reward at the other end. Stay on the treadmill a minute longer. Ride out the pain of breaking up with a romantic partner who isn’t good for you instead of going back for another sweet session ending in more pain.

Allow yourself to endure a painful treatment that can heal you.

Lance Armstrong hung in with his cancer treatments and he continued to hang in to win the Tour de France many times. You can win too if you love yourself enough to persevere to the other side of pain that can have a happy ending, like a fit and healthy body or freedom to find healthy love. You’re worth it! ☺

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Law of Attraction in Action: Recognizing Signs

2009-09-09T11:55:00.005-04:00

This is post 52 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Summer is officially over, even though the calendar says differently. Outdoor pools are closing, even though it’s still warm, most people are done with vacations, shorter workdays are over and traffic in NYC has gone from minimal to bumper to bumper. I went on my run in Central Park this morning, lamenting about how quiet it was Monday and how crowded it is today.

Last week I talked about how September brings new beginnings for me. That seems to get into gear right after Labor Day. I’ve been saying spiritual affirmations all weekend, preparing to get into gear. I have a lot on my plate and needed to get busier. I tend to slow down in the summer. So I put myself into God’s hands and watched for the signs from Him with expectation. I said I was ready to break out and move forward.

People complain that they ask for things or put out expectations but get nothing. I ask if they’re watching for signs that their message is being heard.

They act like I’m crazy. What kind of signs?? Why aren’t they getting what they want?! Not recognizing the signs we get can make them think they’re not being heard and they give up. That tells the Law of Attraction that they’ve given up and no longer expect what they want. So they don’t get it.

Many people continue to try manifesting and end up empty-handed and disillusioned because they have blinders on.

Your higher spiritual power hears you and sends signals that you’re being heard, especially when you ask for them. It usually comes through experiences. But you have to watch for them and have enough faith to recognize them. Something can happen that you didn’t expect or small things can happen like all the traffic lights turn green when they never do. These signals are usually small, unless you ask for some bigger ones. When I’ve been scared or down about my career, I get quadruple the number of fan letters I normally get about my books. Whenever I recognize a sign, I look up and say thanks! Then I get more.

I call these God’s version of being my cheerleader, as they are reminders that God is here for me. They say, “You go Daylle!” They always spur me on!

As I ran yesterday AM, I asked for unexpected miracles, right here and right now. And I asked for signs that God was hearing me, as I needed a good spiritual kick!

When I got home, things started to go right. The elevator was waiting for me (one side has been out of service and it can take ages for it to come). I had an answer to an email that I needed. Then there were some odd signs that most people would laugh at but I’m enlightened enough to recognize them. For example, I love to play the video game Bejeweled 2 with my coffee as it helps make me alert for the day. This morning I hit one of my highest scores on the first try as I asked God for more signs. As I talked to Him while playing, much more bells and whistles than I usually see went off. Coincidence say the skeptics? I don’t care.

I KNOW it was God letting me know he was with me as everything on the board fell into place in ways it rarely does. I got excited, with my expectations going up a notch.

Later in the day I was doing some chores and threw the TV on. Deal or No Deal was on. They choose contestants by spinning a roulette wheel with 25 numbers. As it went round and round, I saw my lucky number 4 go by over and over and spontaneously asked God to let me know He was supporting me in what I needed by having the 4 chosen. The wheel spun a few more times and landed on 4! Even I was blown away by that! Coincidence? When they did it on the next show to choose the next contestant, 4 was chosen again! I got more revved and kept expecting more.

Messages from the Universe come through experiences and it’s up to you to recognize them.

The more things you recognize, the more you’ll look for and find them. Maybe it’s all in my head as some skeptics say, but my head is where all manifesting begins! Maybe it’s wishful thinking. But, I keep manifesting when it happens so it works!

There are signs big and small. They all speak to you if you listen! I’m so motivated, feeling God on my shoulder in many ways. When you need support, ask for experiences that you can’t miss to show you’re being heard. Then watch for them and be open-minded to how they come. They will if you EXPECT and recognize them as such. I WANT you to experience your own miracles, so please try this!

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