Dobie Maxwell's 'Dented Can' Diary

Really Good People

2008-07-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

Friday July 25th, 2008 - Springfield, IL/Milwaukee, WI

Another day with Max on the morning show on WYMG in Springfield, IL. We had fun yesterday but today we really got on a roll. We started clicking right at 6am and kept it up the whole morning and that makes the time fly by. Before we knew it it was time to leave.

Morning radio is a blast when it’s like that but it’s not always like that. Max and I are a fantastic team because he doesn’t try to be funny and I have no desire to do ‘radio’. He is the one running the controls and making sure all the sponsorships get mentioned and I am looking to throw in funny lines whenever I can and also rile people up to get them to call.

Every story in the news was good today and that was just luck. But we’ll take it. We did make the most out of it and just flew without nets. That’s the other good thing about a gig in a town like this - expectations are VERY low. Max and his partner Liz don’t try to do a funny show and don’t claim to be comedians. They do fine but today we focused on fun.

There is a receptionist in the building named Heidi who is a very sweet person. She is a Chicago transplant and married a Jamaican guy and lives in Springfield. She sat in for the show and was really good. She had great timing and knew when to laugh and when to talk and when to just sit there and let us go. She said ‘I sure wish you were here EVERY day.’

Max gave her a stern look and she caught it and shut up. It turns out Max is up for a job to be the operations manager for all the stations in the building and he wanted to have me on so the new GM could hear me. If he gets the gig he wanted to bring me in on the show.

We went out to breakfast afterward and talked about the whole situation. Max is a smart guy and has made the most of this opportunity. His wife is from here and even though it’s not a big market he’s taken advantage of his experience and besides being on the air he is out selling commercials all day. That’s where the real money is and he understands that.

He told me if he would get the gig he’d love to bring me in as the third person and then be able to spend more time selling. He knows I’d handle the entertainment part and show up every day and after the show he’d do his radio stuff and I’d go to work on Uranus. It’s actually a good plan in a way but I don’t know how long I could stand living down there.

Max told me he knew I probably wouldn’t want to live there but he knew I had to come down and sign the bank papers anyway so he wanted the new GM to hear me and have an opportunity to hear what I could bring to the table. He didn’t tell me because he wanted to just let me rip and be myself on the air which is exactly what happened. We were on fire.

This is a tough situation. I said I’d never get back in radio full time but this is different. Max would be my direct boss and there would be no BS. He and I work well and we have great chemistry on air. He knows I want to build my Uranus Factory Outlet business and I can do that anywhere since it’s going to be mostly mail order anyway. It will take a while to get going and I’ll have a steady income and insurance and a cheap place to call home.

All those things are very attractive and I don’t have to like the town. I’ll be working for most of my waking hours and if I want to do comedy St. Louis isn’t that far and I can still work in Chicago on weekends too. The main thing is to get that steady income coming in.

After breakfast Max thanked me for coming down and I thanked him for helping me get at least part of my money back. He told me he’d keep me posted on the developments and I told him we’d talked about a job here before and it hadn’t worked out so I’m not upset if it’s all fart gas. Radio in general is fart gas and once in a while there is a bit of truth in it.

Driving home with that cashier’s check was a good feeling even though I knew it would be gone way too fast. I kept driving all the way to Milwaukee and went right to the Wells Fargo Bank to pay off my credit card. That felt good actually because I’m saving a bunch on interest. I took the remainder and put it in my bank and will pay the dentist off with it.

I went to Milwaukee because my friend Rick Wey from Nashville was up doing a gig at Jokerz Comedy Club. Rick took me to a Brewers game last year because his company has an office in Wisconsin and he’s just a really good person. He’s the personification of the term ‘southern gentleman’ and he brought his wife up to see Milwaukee. He’s a class act.

The show was cancelled at Jokerz because of low turnout but that’s summer everywhere in the north. Rick was disappointed but I told him it’s very common and it is. The woman who runs the club is named Natalie and a total sweetheart and I’m sorry I can’t work there but I have to play politics. I know and like the owner of Giggles so I am loyal to him first.

That doesn’t mean I can’t visit and hang out and Natalie and the whole staff didn’t treat me badly at all. That’s how it should be but I’m not always used to that because of what’s gone down with the third club in town. I don’t even want to go down that road right now.

It would spoil the positive vibe with Rick and his wife who is also a sweetheart. We all went out to have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and it was a delightful evening. I gave them a few tips on where to go and what to do when they were in town and for once I felt like I knew what I was talking about since Milwaukee is my home town. We had a blast.

Today was also the birthday of a few people I know. For whatever reason nine months ago today must have been rocking because there are multiple people born today. I am the birthday savant and for some reason I seem to remember people’s birthday. I try to always call or send an email because it feels good to have someone remember it’s your birthday.

One of the people who has a birthday today is Anna Davlantes from NBC 5 in Chicago. She is a reporter and part time anchor and I got to know her when I worked at the Loop. If I would have to pick one woman I’ve ever met who has it all it would be her. WOW what a package. She’s absolutely stunning to look at but that’s not everything. She’s very smart and funny and doesn’t have that heartless distant feeling many people in broadcasting are famous for. She has a soul and is a very warm person inside and I think the world of her. I had to call her on her birthday and she was flattered I remembered. How could I forget?

Max And My Money

2008-07-25T22:16:00.000-07:00

Thursday July 24th, 2008 - Springfield, IL

Up at 2:30am to drive to Springfield, IL to be on WYMG with my old buddy Max from the Loop. Max’s partner is on vacation and he asked me to come down and hang out for a couple of days and do the show with him. I love to hang but there was an ulterior motive.

I needed to sign some papers in person at Max’s bank in the midget-tropolis Petersburg where he lives. It’s about 25 miles outside of Springfield and I don’t think there’s 1000 in the town. His wife is from there and his kids love it but if I had to live there I’d have to be sedated on a daily basis and even then it would be mere weeks before I’d munch a bullet.

This situation didn’t end up how I planned it but Max was in a pickle at the time and if I can help a friend in a time of need I’m all about that. I trust Max totally and I can’t say the same for very many others. It wasn’t a matter of trust with all this. It was just bad timing.

Originally the money was supposed to be freed up in a year. I put my life savings up for collateral so he could buy out his useless partner who was starting to be a major anchor of his business. He was a big time God Squad crusader too and they’re always the worst. It’s amazing how creeps like that can sit in church and pray but be such bastards in real life.

My father played that game to the hilt and I warned Max before he teamed up with Billy Graham Jr. but he still did it anyway. I can’t gloat because I teamed up with my own devil in disguise as my ex partner cleaned me out of all the comedy class money from Zanies. It hurts to think about it and he hadn’t done it when I loaned Max the cash but I still did it.

Life is short and it was a calculated risk and my calculations were wrong. The one year became two and now I just can’t wait any longer. I needed a chunk of it to pay the dentist and another chunk to pay my credit card down because I maxed it out trying to pay for my recent car nightmares. Things backed up and I was out of cash and I needed to clear it up.

I drove out to Petersburg and took care of the paperwork in about two minutes. I got my cashier’s check and drove back into Springfield thinking all the way of the best strategy to work my way out of this. I don’t think I’ll be getting the rest of it for at least a little while because Max had some problems at the store. He lost his electricity and inventory rotted.

His freezers were off for 18 hours and he lost ice cream and hamburger meat and he had to pay a deductible on his insurance policy that he didn’t expect. This all took some twists neither one of us expected but that’s how it turned out. Now I have to dig my way out of a tough situation and put Max in a tougher one than he already is in but what else can I do?

I have to survive and this is my only alternative right now. I will get some comedy work and keep slugging but right now I’m running pretty lean. It’s tough to stay thinking funny when things are like this but that’s the key to my sanity right now. I was going to use that money for Uranus Factory Outlet but that’s not going to work now. I guess I need to keep thinking and be patient and something else will come along to bail me out here. I need it.

Where's My Own Joan?

2008-07-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

Wednesday July 23rd, 2008 - Chicago, IL

All kinds of stuff is starting to bubble again. I love that. I am getting calls for gigs and it feels good to get back in that groove again. I love to work and always have and any time I can get on stage in a good situation that’s what I want to do. Key words - ‘good situation’. It doesn’t do me any good to drive to Wyoming to work for 37 drunks who got in for free.

It’s about time to make my rounds again for the clubs I like. I already am set to return to Memphis in February and that will be a blast. It always is. I also heard from Tom Sobel as well. He owns the Comedy Caravan in Louisville where I recorded my CD and I have had fun every time I worked there too. He treats comics very well and that’s how it should be.

My friend Max called from Springfield and asked if I would sit in with him on his radio show the next two mornings. His partner is out and I always love to see Max so of course I said I would. He’s also arranged a meeting with the bank down there so I can work out a deal to get my life savings back that I loaned him for his ice cream shop. I really need it.

The highlight of my day by far was an email I received totally out of the blue from Joan Dangerfield, Rodney’s widow. She told me that she is aware of my blog and enjoys it that I mention Rodney in it. She also told me Rodney did a character called Mr. Lucky on one of his network TV specials back in the ‘80s with Bill Murray. I totally wasn’t aware of it.

What a nice thing for her to do though. It made my whole month. It was because of her I got to meet Rodney in person when I lived in Salt Lake City. She’s from Utah and when it came time to set up a radio interview she initially said Rodney didn’t do radio but when it came out that I was a comedian and Rodney was my hero she made sure we got to do it.

Whether she reads anything else I write or not Rodney is STILL my comedy hero and he always will be. Like George Clinton, Rodney and I bonded on several levels. Not only did his comedy style match mine he also had to fight the depression dragon like I do. Rodney rose above it and dedicated his life to making others feel better and that’s what I want too.

I’ll never forget the phone conversation I had with him when we did the radio interview in Salt Lake City. I know a lot of things about his career because I study comedy and that impressed him. We stayed on the phone for quite a while and exchanged names of people we both knew. There weren’t all that many but there were a few and that helped us bond.

What really put it over the top was when I told him how much I loved his movie ‘Easy Money’. I wasn’t lying either, I really do. For some reason that character he played was as funny as I’ve ever seen and Joe Pesci was in it too. My friend Mark Shilobrit and I still do lines from that movie when we see each other and it still cracks us up. Rodney loved that.

Getting my chance to meet Rodney in person will be one of my all time life highlights. It was only for a few minutes after his show but he remembered me from the phone and I could see his eyes light up when Joan told him who I was. That was an electric moment.

We talked for a few minutes and I made him laugh. That’s a feeling I can’t put into any form of language. Making Rodney laugh is like scoring a touchdown in the Super Bowl. Not everyone gets a chance to do it but if it happens it’s a lifetime memory. And that was.

The only downer about the experience was that the person from the radio station didn’t tell me until we were driving home that the camera he used to take our picture didn’t have any batteries in it and there was no picture. I was SO crushed. Nobody will ever see how I got to meet my hero. I’ll have to take that memory to the next world all by myself. Arrgh.

I’ve said it before but I’m Rodney’s comedy pedigree. I don’t do his jokes but I have his DNA in my style. Lots of comics come from someone else but I’m totally from Rodney. I used to cringe when someone would say ‘You remind me of a young Rodney Dangerfield for some reason’ but now I understand that it’s the biggest compliment I can ever receive.

I hear that very often too. Even in the most horrific drunken hell hole someone seems to always have to find me and tell me that. I guess it means he’s the closest thing they know of that I remind them of. I try to be myself and I am but it reminds the public of Rodney.

I have no idea why Joan chose yesterday to send me that email but I’m very glad she did because it really came at a good time. It validates me in my struggles and tells me I might be on the right path after all. Sometimes I have no idea if anything I’m doing is working.

If I can be this generation’s Rodney Dangerfield I won’t be upset about it at all. I will be honored to carry that torch and I’ll carry it proudly. Rodney was the hope for the struggler and the release valve for the pressures of those who needed it. The people who liked what he did LOVED him and he was revered both by his fans and by comedians from all over.

In wrestling Buddy Rogers was known as the Nature Boy. He was a huge star and then a young punk named Ric Flair came along and he called himself the Nature Boy too. He did it his own way and was a superstar in his own right but his pedigree goes back to Rogers.

If I can take Rodney’s hard luck character DNA and build my own fan base for a whole new generation I don’t think he’d mind. I doubt if anyone will ever reach the total level of success that he did but I’d sure love to try. If I ever get it I won’t deny his direct influence.

One thing I definitely noticed about Rodney and Joan was that they really did appear to love each other. I didn’t get to know them very well but all the dealings I had and in every story I’ve ever read about them they really did seem like they had a very healthy marriage.

On paper it would seem like anything but that. Rodney was older and very successful so who wouldn’t want a much younger blonde stunner on his arm as eye candy? Of course. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did but I didn’t get that impression at all as I met them.

Maybe there’s a future Joan Dangerfield type out there for me. Smart, funny, gorgeous and rich. Hey, I have to leave my fortune to someone. Right? Oh, I have to make one first.

George Clinton's Birthday

2008-07-22T20:04:00.000-07:00

Tuesday July 22nd, 2008 - Chicago, IL

What has rainbow colored hair, never stops touring the world and has my total respect and lifelong admiration? It’s ‘Dr. Funkenstein’ George Clinton and today is his birthday. I have always loved George’s music but what I really am interested in is his creative vibe.

Depending on what biography one reads he was born in either 1940 or 1941. Either way at the very least it makes him 67 years old and he’s still out there touring with a band that can still ‘tear the roof off the sucker’ like one of the titles of his songs says. He’s the man.

Getting to meet George in person last year was still one of the greatest thrills of my life. It was even more thrilling to have bonded with him immediately and felt a connection on a creative level. I know nothing about music and he’s not a comedian but creativity is the product of intelligence and for whatever reason we seem to be on a similar creative vibe.

Today is the 22nd of the month and allegedly that’s a big day in numerology. I am not as versed in that as I should be but I’ve read a little on it and heard radio interviews about it and the 11th and 22nd are ‘power numbers’ apparently and those with birthdays on that day are supposed to be very influential people of all kinds. George Clinton is definitely that.

Maybe there’s some truth to it. Rodney Dangerfield had a birthday on November 22nd and I can’t think of two more influential people than a Rodney Dangerfield and a George Clinton. Countless idiots have tried to follow in both their footsteps and I’m one of them.

I don’t think I have the influential power of either one of those guys but I sure did relate to them on a professional level. Rodney was my all time favorite comedian and he was an astute business man and entrepreneur but not like George. George is in a class by himself.

In his heyday in the ‘70s George managed to get record deals with several companies to record many of the same people but under different names. His musical brilliance is great but to couple that with the business smarts puts him above almost anyone else. I think he is even more amazing to still be out there touring at this age and he’s no has been either. I still enjoy seeing him work and I hope to do it again this weekend if I get a chance to go.

He’s performing at the Cubby Bear in Chicago and I’ve seen him there before. It’s not a huge venue but the boys still put on a great show and if I can free up my night I will travel into the city to see it. I also hope to bring James Wesley Jackson with me because he used to travel with them back in the day. I’d love to get a picture with James, George and me.

Even if I don’t I can still learn from how George built his empire. He was in charge and even though not everyone always got along with him nobody doubted who was the one in the driver’s seat. Good or bad, right or wrong George was the one pulling all the strings. I really think that’s the way to do it and it’s worked for him for over 50 years. He’s still out there slugging and still running the show. I hope to build my own comedy empire just like he did and get the best people available to work together and build a strong creative team.

A Pleasant Surprise

2008-07-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

Monday July 21st, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Speak of the devil. I went to my post office box in Chicago today and surprise surprise! There was my check from Topeka. I couldn’t believe it. Just when I had given up all hope there it was. I looked at the envelope and started laughing and everyone in the UPS Store looked at me like I was nuts. I guess I am. I keep thinking I know what’s going to happen.

This whole situation was totally unnecessary in my opinion. If the bouncers would have shut the table of frat boys up I could have finished my show and this wouldn’t be an issue at all. Instead it caused pain and frustration and in the end I am still screwed out of $375.

I am a man of my word and I will send the booker his full commission. In all likelihood I won’t be working much if any for him at this point and I know for sure I won’t be going back to Topeka. The bridge is burned and that’s too bad. I had some decent shows there.

It’s also close to Kansas City and I like working that town too. It never hurts to have an extra gig added on to pay for gas money or a plane ticket and Topeka is a prime example. After today’s surprise I guess I’ll never say never but it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever go back. I thought about what my mistakes were and how I could have avoided them to begin with.

The first thing is I should have not taken the gig in the first place. At this point I should be working better venues but for whatever reason I’m not and this gig was offered to me. I took it so there goes that defense. Nobody forced me to go. I accepted it of my own will.

The second thing is I should have shut the table up before I got on stage. They were not quiet for the opener either and to make it worse there was a break between acts and that’s the time when the waitress brought even more liquor to the group who was drunk already.

The third thing is I could have just stood up there and done my time. They were all loud and obnoxious and I let them get to me but I didn’t think it was fair for everyone else that came to the show but in retrospect they were idiots too. That was just a bad mix of people in one place and it happened to be at my show. If I really wanted to I could have gone on.

But I didn’t want to badly enough I guess. I wanted to give the people a show but I had to deal with those halfwits early on and I just decided it would be better to walk so I’d not put myself in a position to say or do something I’d be REALLY sorry for later. This was a stupid enough mistake as it was so staying longer might have really put me in a bad spot.

This whole thing has been a big lesson to me. I wish it wouldn’t have happened but I’m not able to promise I wouldn’t do the same thing again. I’ve really had it with drunks and I just don’t want to fight them anymore. I want to find the people who will enjoy my act.

I’ve found there are quite a few of them too. There weren’t many on that one particular evening in Topeka but that doesn’t mean I will never go back to Topeka. I just doubt it’ll be at the place in question. This was a long way to go to find that out. I need better gigs.

I’ll work on that along with everything else I’ve got going but for now I have to put this in the history book. I got half my originally agreed upon money and I’m going to still pay my full commission to the booker out of respect and good karma. I don’t want to be a jerk and stiff the guy because I like him personally and we share a birthday too. I’ll pay him.

But as soon as I drop the envelope in the mailbox tomorrow it’s OVER in my mind. I’m not going to get rich doing weekends for drunken frat boys in Topeka, KS. I live in a very big city and am on the radio here and I need to find a way to make that pay off financially.

This morning was our big one hour Jerry’s Kidder’s special show ‘Barack-No-Phobia’. We had a video recording made while we were doing it and it actually turned out to be an exciting experience. We were doing it live without a net and I love the feeling of pressure in a situation like that. There’s no safety net and we could all make a mistake at any time.

Nobody blew it today. This could have been really ugly but it wasn’t at all. We worked well as a team but this was Jerry and Tim Slagle’s baby. They are the most political of us and I for one don’t really care either way. I’m not thrilled about Obama or McCain so for me it was just another week. I added a few things when I could but mainly just sat back.

I had a few lines here and there but I knew this wasn’t my thing so I didn’t force myself on anyone. That’s how I would want it if I had a creative vision on a project and I figured Tim and Jerry knew where they wanted to go and they did. I thought it came of very well.

Tonight I hosted the rising star showcase at Zanies as I usually do. A comic named Clay Miles from the D.C. area flew in and I picked him up at the airport. When I was in D.C. at a club called Wiseacres Clay and the booker Mike Diesel were very kind to me. My other friend from Milwaukee Jerry Thomas lives out there too and all of them treated me well.

I thought it was only fair that I return the favor so I told Clay I’d pick him up. I only had one problem - I went to the wrong airport. I’d ASSUMED he was flying into O’Hare but I found out right as I left home it was Midway which is way across town from me. I should have checked closer but I didn’t and all I could do was tell him I would be a little bit late.

Actually it wasn’t that bad. We hung out for a while and had a Chicago hot dog because he’d never been to Chicago before. We went to Portillo’s which I think is by far the best. I respect how hard that guy worked and he started with one little hut and has worked up to having about 40 stores all over Chicago. That guy is an example of the American dream.

Clay had a very strong set and I think he’ll get some work from Zanies. I’m glad I had a small hand in it and after the show I drove him back to the airport. On the way he told me one of the most disturbing things I’ve heard in many years. It was a major wake up call.

He told me the manager of the D.C. Improv club said ‘If you’re 35 and not a star in the comedy business by then…it’s OVER. Get out now.’ That chilled me to hear it and I have heard the warning. No more Topekas. No more BS. I need to make my move but quick.

Batman Radio

2008-07-20T22:16:00.000-07:00

Sunday July 20th, 2008 - Kenosha, WI

Another dose of the Batman today. That was the theme of our show on the Mothership Connection tonight on AM 1050 WLIP in Kenosha. It’s not really a paranormal topic but everyone and their grandmother is talking about it so why let that opportunity pass us by?

It doesn’t really matter what we talk about actually because I doubt if anyone’s listening to us. Yeah, it’s a real radio station and all that but the truth is we’re probably just talking to ourselves for two hours. This is practice and I knew it when I took on the challenge but that’s how a show develops. It’s like open mike nights in comedy. This is very important.

Tonight was our first ‘theme’ show. In the past we’ve just put anyone we could find that was willing to talk on the phone on the air and we’ve done ok with it. We’ve had several very interesting guests and even though we were just winging it we pulled off good radio.

It’s starting to fall together and there were a lot of positives tonight. First, Scott Markus my regular co-host is really doing a fantastic job. He’s excellent on the air and really gets the concept of how to keep the show moving and keep it interesting. He arranges many of the guests and he also created our website for the show. It’s www.mothershipradio.com.

I wouldn’t have been able to do that and he’s really into the whole concept of this thing so that’s one less problem I have to worry about each week. We’ve been communicating very well and adding things every week. I can see this show growing by leaps and bounds in a relatively short time and that could be good for everybody. Plus we’re all having fun.

My friend Gary Pansch is also a regular contributor and part time co-host. He has a job on Sunday nights and can’t come in every week but once a month he can and tonight was it. He came up with a great idea to do a weekly ‘Mothership Hall Of Fame’ feature that he started tonight that’s very well prepared and smooth. There’s another piece of the puzzle.

He spotlights a random nut bag and does some background on that person. It could be a local person or a national figure or someone living or dead. If we can keep up this kind of growth we’ll have something we can hopefully get paid for at some point. That’s the idea.

Gary and I saw the Bat-movie before the show because he hadn’t seen it yet. I loved it the first time and didn’t mind at all sitting through it again. I caught a few things I hadn’t seen the first time most notably the sign on the semi trailer truck the Joker flipped over.

It had ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ printed on the side of the trailer but someone had spray painted an ‘S’ in front of ‘laughter’ to make it ‘Slaughter’. Very clever and I missed it the first time. It fit in perfectly as the Joker was shooting his bazooka at people. Subtle.

Scott brought in a couple of guests that talked about comic books and role playing game geeks and it all tied in really well. I had my friends Michael Alexander and Joey Callahan call in who are both comedians but also big Batman geeks and it all fit together perfectly.

I think I’ve really found out what the true secret to life’s success is and that’s having the right connections. That’s probably not a big revelation but I thought of it today as all of it came together on the air. Indirectly I’m the one who made it happen and I love the results.

There was a fun vibe in the room and we had callers who contributed and the two hours went by so fast I couldn’t believe it. I was the one who put this idea out there and we tried some different things but in the end we pulled off a fun program. The guests all loved it. I felt the positive vibe as we walked out of the station and it felt great to be the leader of it.

It’s the same thing on WLS on Mondays. Yes it’s Jerry’s show but he will admit that he came up with our segment so he could have me on the air because he believes I can add to his show. I helped pick the other comedians and as we got started I was the main one who acted as the go-between between the comics and Jerry. Now we’re gelling well as a team.

I don’t do all the jokes nor do I claim to take credit for it but I am the leader of the bit as it happens in the studio and I direct the segment. Even if that means pointing to one of the other guys who has his hand up at least there’s a point of focus that we can all agree on. It helps us to avoid talking over each other and it just feels right all around. I love that role.

It’s on a much smaller scale of what George Clinton does during a live show. He is who everyone watches for the lead and it starts with him. I feel very comfortable with that role on both of the radio shows and I will do exactly the same for Uranus Factory Outlet. It’s a matter of knowing who has the hot hand and dishing it off to them when they do. I love it.

George Clinton said in an interview that his only real talent was being able to take all of the craziest people in the music business and get their absolute best when nobody else had a clue of how to do it. I feel the same way. I can get the best out of other people’s talents.

Now I need to find a way to turn a buck with all this. Maybe that’s the part that causes a problem but we all need to eat. Nobody is getting paid for either of the radio shows so we all show up just for the fun of it. For now. If and when money is involved there may be an ulterior motive for some people. For now we’re all just having fun and I’m enjoying that.

Yesterday I got to hang out with Kipper McGee in downtown Chicago. We intended on going up to Milwaukee to see our friend Pat Martin’s daughter get married but traffic was so heavy and it was raining so we had no chance of making it on time. We called Pat with the news and he didn’t seem too pleased but I heard from him today and he wasn’t angry.
Pat was the guy who got me started in radio. He was also very instrumental with getting Kipper’s career going too so we both really appreciate Pat. He’s a great guy but not one of the bigwigs in radio and he’s struggling along like everyone else. Still he’s a giving soul.
These are the kinds of people I want to and have surrounded myself with in life. Kipper is a huge supporter of Jerry’s Kidders and Jerry lets us on the air every week too. I have a bunch of great friends I cherish very much and there are indeed good people in this world.

Club Most Club Owners

2008-07-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

Saturday July 19thth, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Still catching up from yesterday’s Batman binge. After seeing that midnight showing of the movie I drove Jerry into the city to WLS. I had told him I would because I intended on continuing on to Shelbyville, IL to do a gig but plans changed. The opener and I live close to each other and with gas prices it wasn’t smart to drive separately so we split expenses.

Jerry would have had to catch the train and he hadn’t planned on that so I didn’t want to put him in a spot so I just drove him in like I said I would. It was 4:30am by the time I got there but that’s the best time to be in the city. I dropped him off and went to get my mail.

STILL no check from Topeka and that infuriates me. I thought we had an agreement for a peaceful settlement to a bothersome problem that shouldn’t have been a problem at all. I tried my best to be an adult and a professional and speak softly but in the end I’m still out. The club owner is being nothing short of a bitch about this and it’s a total lack of respect.

If I owed that pinhead fifty cents he’d sue me or have me banned from working there or who knows what kind of hell I’d have to pay. The booker would be all over me to get him paid off and I’d be barred from getting work until I cleared it up. When it’s me he doesn’t care at all and even though I told him I’d send him his commission I’m still out of luck.

This is the kind of petty insanity that makes big stars order the bowl of M&Ms with the brown ones removed. It’s maddening to have to keep after this weeks and months after it was an unnecessary distraction in the first place. I highly doubt I’ll ever get my money. If I keep pestering the booker about it that will be a sorer spot than it already is. This sucks.

If I take the maggot in Topeka to small claims court I’ll have a hassle and an expense of filing the paperwork and all of that is nothing I really want to do. Who does? Just pay me. I did the work and I even negotiated a deal where I wasn’t even asking to be paid for what turned out to be the issue at question. I just wanted my money for the show that went fine.

This is a very dangerous area for me. In the past I’ve done stupid things like send a club owner that had a heart attack a mail package that included a tub of Crisco, sausage gravy, Cheese Whiz, a pound of bacon and a jar of Miracle Whip. When I had my car accident in 1993 he had a ‘benefit’ for me and kept all the door donation money. That was my retort.

Was it funny? Sure. To the comedians I was a hero because that fat bag of pus had done a lot of underhanded things to a lot of people but I stood up to him and didn’t take it. I did send a message but I never did get my money. To this day he owes me $400 and it stinks.

Again, I tried to reason with that imbecile just like this one. He blew me off because the majority of other comedians will take stuff like that because they don’t want to lose work. I get that concept because work is limited but I don’t get how the majority of club owners sleep at night. This is just plain THEFT and if this was the Mafia they’d both get wacked. I’m glad I’m not in the Mafia because I’d have to take out a second hit and still be stiffed.

Anyone would be angry if this happened to them and I’m no exception. This is NOT the error of a well intended but absent minded accountant. This is flat out disrespect. This is a classic case of ‘Oh YEAH? So sue me.’ They seem to enjoy thumbing their noses at us. It goes on way too often and makes being in business not fun. These people are not ethical.

But somehow they still stay in business. That black hearted oaf in Milwaukee still has a club and our little incident happened back in 1994. He has a legendary reputation of being a selfish lout and screwing people over and bouncing checks on comedians but there’s an endless supply of people who are willing to work there and that cycle of abuse lives on.

I for one think my dignity and self respect are worth more than working for weenies like that but they still owe me money for shows that I did. It’s ‘only’ $375 in Topeka and $400 in Milwaukee but ‘only’ is a relative term. If they were owed that by me it would be a war but since I am owed by them it’s ‘only’ $400. ‘Why can’t you just let it go?’ Could YOU?

I can really use all of that money right now. Every single penny. I have two root canals I need to pay for for one and for another thing I earned the money. I did the shows and they were able to sell drinks while I did them so they have already been paid. I want my money and it’s now to the point where if I saw either one of those idiots I’d just start punching.

Business is not pleasant when it boils down to this. I have to believe small claims court is full of way more petty things than this but I can see why. There’s so much emotion that goes with it. This isn’t always about just the money. Respecting people is part of it too. It all boils down to the Golden Rule. No matter anyone’s religion that is THE best rule ever.

I always try to live by it and I sometimes fail but when I do I attempt to make it right. It wouldn’t have come to this point if it were me on the other side because I’d have handled it a lot differently. These two lowlife scumbags think they’re above the Golden Rule. NO.

I can’t make either one of them pay me. Having this Topeka trouble reminds me of that selfish soup head in Milwaukee and brings all that back up my mental drain pipe again. I try to forget about it but I can’t. Do I wish bad things on those people? Hmm. That’s very hard to say. To be honest if fat boy in Milwaukee had another heart attack I wouldn’t cry.

But wishing it on him is not what I’m about. All I wanted in the first place was to make all the customers laugh and get paid what we’d agreed on. THAT is my focus and taking time to waste energy wishing bad things on bad people doesn’t do anything to make me a better person. I don’t want to be around that kind of vibe but I do still want to get my pay.

I am washing my hands of this Topeka incident because I don’t see any positive energy coming out of it. I made my case and thought we had a deal negotiated but now it’s being ignored. I am a man of my word and if it had been me I’d have written the check quickly.

This is all a lesson for me as I move ahead with my Uranus Factory Outlet business. I am sure more incidents over money will occur and I intend to operate on an honest basis for my part of the business but I know not everyone else will follow suit. This is my warning.

On The Batwagon

2008-07-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

Friday July 18th, 2008 - Cary, IL

Normally I won’t jump on the pop culture bandwagon but tonight I made an exception. The new Batman movie is one of the biggest in years and I went to the midnight showing with Jerry Agar and his two sons and one of their friends. I’m glad I did. It was fantastic.

The last movie event I can remember that was this big was the Lord Of The Rings piece of flaming poo that I had to sit through and waste three hours of my life I’ll never recover. I didn’t find anything redeemable about that one at all and when it was over I leaned over to tell the person next to me how horrible I thought it was and the crowd started clapping.

This was a whole different story. I felt the buzz beforehand and it was a fun experience even though there was a delay in the actual start time. It was supposed to start at 12:01am but for whatever reason it was delayed. They showed the previews and then it appeared as if something broke and we all sat there looking at a blank dark screen for several minutes.

I can usually crack off some good lines in these situations and get laughs from the seats surrounding me but nobody was laughing tonight. They were concerned they wouldn’t get to see the movie. We sat there a few minutes longer and then they showed more previews.

I noticed when we walked in the theatre that is was theatre #13. Plus there was a big old full moon in the sky as we drove to the theatre from Jerry’s house and I couldn’t stop my laughter as I thought of how only Mr. Lucky could go to a premiere and miss the movie.

Finally the movie started about 12:30 and it was really worth the wait. I like Batman but I’m not a fanatic about it even though I did paint several cars I owned like the Batmobile I used to see on the TV series. I never really read the comic books more than casually but it was still a great movie and I had fun being part of the event. People came in full costume.

This was based on the Dark Knight comics which my cousin Jef Parker tried to coax me to read when he owned his comic book shops before he died in 2001. One of the precious things buried along with him in his coffin was the Dark Knight series. He loved it that much. He always talked about how he wanted there to be a movie made and this was it.

He would have loved this movie. I sure did. It was filmed in Chicago and I could spot a whole lot of familiar locations throughout. I thought it moved along really well and Heath Ledger was outstanding as the Joker. What a great role and he’s sure to win that Oscar.

I talked to my friend Joey Callahan in Philadelphia today who’s not only a huge Batman fan but one of the nicest humans I’ve ever met and a funny comic too. He has been telling me for a long time how high the expectations for this were and he thought they nailed it.

What fun it must be to be part of a huge project like this. This is beyond a movie and it’s now pop culture. Everyone was buzzing about it on the way out and I’m sure it will make a ton of cash for a ton of people. I’m glad I went early. Now nobody can spoil it for me.

Double Play Radio

2008-07-17T20:14:00.000-07:00

Thursday July 17th, 2008 - Milwaukee, WI/Lake Villa, IL

fun today on two fronts. Drew Olson made the call to the bullpen and I drove up to Milwaukee to be on my favorite show ‘The D List’ on ESPN Radio 540. I love talking about Wisconsin sports because that’s where I grew up. My memories are vivid and deep and I’ve got a lifetime of knowledge to add to the show. Plus I love to hang with the guys.

Brett Favre was obviously the main topic of conversation and I let loose with a heaping helping of the heartfelt hammer I hit him with yesterday. I raised a few eyebrows with the guys but nobody really disagreed with me and that started people calling up to comment.

I really fit in with those guys and I love to hang on the air. Drew is an excellent host and Dan Needles from Channel 12 really knows his stuff. Sometimes Dan is the one I’ll fill in for but today it was Bill Johnson the program director. He’s a good guy too and no matter who it is I still like sitting in. Sometimes I even show up and sit in when they’re all there.

We had a special guest named Jason Wilde on the show today and he’s a sportswriter in Green Bay and covers the Packers. He had inside information and I felt like I had a seat in the press box to get all the inside scoops. Normally it’s fun to be on but today it was extra good because the energy was electric. This is a hot story and I felt the buzz all around it.

I got home and saw that I got some comedy bookings for both October of this year and February of next year. Both are upper quality bookings and that made me feel good. I will hopefully keep that trend going and be able to work on Uranus Factory Outlet as I travel. I intend to use road media to promote my business on radio and TV and sell some product.

The second wave of radio fun came when Jerry Agar sent me an email of a column that talked about how no comedians want to poke fun at Barack Obama. He asked if I thought we could do a Jerry’s Kidders segment that ONLY poked fun at him and I flinched at first but then I thought about it and said I’d be up for giving it a shot. Jerry wants us to do this.

He ran it past the program director Kipper McGee and Kipper LOVED it and wants it to be an hour segment. We usually get a half hour but this is something they both think is an opportunity to make some noise and get some attention. If they want to try it I’ll pitch in.

This really isn’t my field of expertise and never was. Politics doesn’t really do anything for me and I rarely if ever talk about it on stage. On the other hand sports IS my thing and I rarely if ever talk about that on stage either. I guess I just never wanted to go in either of those directions. It’s like a band deciding to use or not use a ukulele or tuba. It’s a choice.

I do know how to write jokes though and I know I can add something to the mix. I think the big reason why nobody jokes about him is because he’s black. Period. There’s just SO much tension about race that comedians of all kinds don’t want to go near this one. He’s a political candidate and every one of those deserves to be made fun of. I would let it rip on McCain just as hard - and we might very soon. For this week it’s ‘Barack ToThe Future‘.

Fed Up With Favre

2008-07-16T22:06:00.000-07:00

Wednesday July 16th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Brett Favre can kiss my pasty white buttocks. On second thought, no he can’t. That ugly stubble on his mouth would feel like steel wool. Who does he think he is anyway? He has totally worn out his welcome with me and I’ve been a Packer fan my whole life. Even I’m getting sick of hearing about this every time I turn on a radio, TV or computer. Enough!

He said, she said, they said, I heard, we heard, blah blah blah. It all makes me puke. I’ve got my own problems to work out and I don’t need to hear about a $100 million hillbilly’s perceived lack of respect. He had the worship of an entire state for 16 years and if he isn’t satisfied with that then I guess he can stay in Mississippi and mow his lawn and just pout.

It blows my mind how much press this is getting but it’s everywhere. Yes he was a very important part of the team and one of the greatest players to ever play football but I don’t think that’s a reason to behave like he has. It’s only a game but he’s making it out to be a matter of life and death and the whole thing is turning me off. I wish he would go away.

Yes I love it when the Packers win and he was a big part of that for many years but who says any one person is bigger than an organization? This is a great lesson for me because I see just how quickly a relationship can go south. I’m not the only one who feels the way I do and it’s polarizing a lot of people. There are proper ways to do things and ways not to.

I think he looks like a selfish ass. ‘I want to play.’ Hey, I wanted to play too but I wasn’t good enough. He was and maybe still is but then he shouldn’t have retired. Whatever it is I’m sick of hearing it and I turned off my TV and radio today and focused on my work.

That’s the best thing I could have done and I made some solid progress. My emails have been stacking up again but today I chopped them down significantly once more. It’s a big relief to do that and at least I got it down to being manageable. Motion is always good for creating more motion and I didn’t stop there. I started working on a lot of paperwork too.

I’m reworking my comedy classes once again and I will start teaching in the fall. I don’t intend to let a few backstabbing ex associates stop me from doing what I’ve spent a lot of years perfecting and I feel good that I spent time planning it out today. I feel rejuvenated.

I also started to make a ‘to do’ list which I haven’t had in a while. I’ve had a list before but this one is much more detailed. I broke my life down into the projects I really want to work on and made some notes as to what I need to do to keep a steady progress going. It’s well thought out and I spent several hours today working on it and getting it exactly right.

I also got word from the auction that my Toyota sold on Saturday. That’s great news in just the nick of time because I have car insurance due not to mention paying for repairing the Cadillac. This will help me get one step closer to keeping things more manageable in my life. Brett Favre has $100 million dollars or more to play with and I don’t. That’s how it is. I need to make my own fortune because he’ll never help me anyway. I’m ok with it.

Clock Fighting

2008-07-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Tuesday July 15th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

July is half over and the clock keeps ticking. I wish I could make it stop for a while so I can get caught up with everything. Things get out of control and then it’s hard to have any kind of organization because things are piled up everywhere and it’s hard to manage it all.

I tried to have an objective eye as I looked at my life today and where I want to go in the future. It’s a constant battle with time management and there just aren’t enough hours in a day to accomplish everything I want to do so things need to start getting cut. I need a plan that allows me to keep making constant improvement but also allows me to survive now.

This is a rough time for a lot of people. The economy is not looking good and no matter what anyone says it’s all about the money. Dreams are great but unless the bills are paid it doesn’t really matter. I have been chasing dreams for years and just barely squeaking by.

I want to oil up that squeak. I have a lot to learn about making money and especially the skill of what to do after I get it but at least I’m aware of it. I never really had a windfall to deal with other than the one year I worked at the Loop and I’m still living off that money.

Granted, I did some questionable things with it like buying sports cards and tin can cars from the auction but at least I had fun with it. If I get a serious windfall I won’t make that same mistake but I need to educate myself so I don’t. There’s just too much to focus on.

Good news from the mechanic today. I took the Cadillac Catera in to have him look at it a couple of weeks ago and he finally got to it. He said he looked it over today and it had a problem with one of the spark plug holes that wasn’t threaded properly and someone tried to redo it and did a bad job. He thought he could fix it and it shouldn’t be too expensive.

I felt a whole lot better about life when he said that. He asked what I wanted to do and I asked him if he thought it would last a year. He said he thought it would. That model has an aluminum engine block and that’s the reason I had the problem with the spark plugs. I should have researched this model before I bought it but I took a chance and got stung.

It could be a LOT worse though. That noise I heard driving it home was not funny and I thought I was in for a lot more trouble. I still could be but at least there’s a little hope now and I’ll take it. He said he can’t fix it for another week because he’s backed up at the shop and that’s totally ok with me. It gives me more time to get other things in life sorted out.

These are all things that take up lots of time and no wonder I’m as far behind as I am in just about everything. Things like this come out of the blue and have to be dealt with but I would rather be doing something else. Who the hell cares about fixing bad spark plugs?

I want to be performing and writing and making as many people laugh as I can. I need to get my priorities straight and use my time wisely. There is a limited amount of it and I’ve wasted enough over the years. Having a plan and working it is more important than ever.

Kudos For Cosby

2008-07-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

Monday July 14th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Bill Cosby celebrated a birthday on July 12th and I know I’m a couple of days late but it still seems appropriate to write about how great I think he is. Of all the 20th century genre standup comedians I find it hard pressed to find anyone greater. He is up there with the all time greats and with the possible exception of Bob Hope I can’t think of a bigger success.

I am a huge fan of Bill Cosby and I can’t understand how anyone else isn’t. I understand that comedy is subjective but he is the one person who cuts through all classifications and is funny to the most amount of people. Young or old, white or black, city or country, he is thought of as funny or at least entertaining by the vast majority of groups. He’s a classic.

At one time or another I’ve been very fortunate and gotten to meet most of the greats of the comedy business in my lifetime. I’ve personally met Dangerfield, Pryor, Carlin, Leno, Seinfeld, Kinison, Hicks, Chapelle, Chris Rock, Jeff Foxworthy, Drew Carey and a whole lot more but Cosby is one I’d love to meet at some point. He’s one of the all time masters.

There are so many amazing things I respect about him I don’t know where to start. He’s still performing which is amazing in itself but also amazing is that he is still growing as a comedian. I saw him live only a couple of years ago and he did bits I’d never heard before and that totally impressed me. Even after all these years he is still working at his craft.

He turned 71 on Saturday and was born the same year as George Carlin. Carlin was one of the greats in his own right but Cosby probably made way more money. I don’t know it for a fact but he appeals to such a wide audience that I would think he’d be way ahead. If I am still doing comedy at 71 I’ll be in good company. Comedy does get better with age.

Today was yet another jam packed Monday. Jimmy McHugh joined us this morning on WLS while Ken Sevara was on the road doing a gig. Afterward we all walked over to the famous Billy Goat tavern for a ‘cheezborger’ and a ‘no Pepsi - Coke’. I hadn’t been over there for many years and it was especially fun to go back and experience it all over again.

Kipper McGee was able to join us as he sometimes does and I sat back and enjoyed the fact that I have known Kipper so many years and I hooked him up with Jerry a few years ago and then Kipper came to WLS and hired Jerry and now Jerry has the comedians in on Mondays and I had a hand in picking those guys too. I feel like I‘ve had a hand in all of it.

I like that feeling a lot. I don’t take credit for it other than I was able to hook people up who in turn work together well and fit in perfectly and I’m part of the mix. I love it more than anything I’ve ever done and reflecting on it made my cheezborger taste even better.

Tonight at Zanies was also fun. There were comics from all over the country and I was able to keep the show going and give them all pumped up intros and I enjoy it when their eyes light up as they hear me do it. It’s always nice to have a nice ego boost right before a set and if I can pump someone up I always try to do it. There were lots of positives today.

Meeting The Boomer

2008-07-14T04:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday July 13th, 2008 - Milwaukee, WI/Kenosha, WI

Up early and up to Milwaukee today to set up at the Gonzaga Hall sports card show. It’s a once a month show and this is the slowest month of the year. I had a table today and had ZERO sales. Not one card. I could have been selling Mickey Mantle’s liver in a jar and no offers would have been made on it. I had a pretty bad spot too stuck way back in a corner.

I’m not complaining about it. I made the choice to do this. I have to pay my dues like all the dealers before me did and earn the right to turn a buck with the regulars. I’m not in the line of fire with them yet and it will take a while to get there even though I’ve been going to this show as a buyer for years. There aren’t enough people who are my customers yet.

Maybe I’ll never get there but that’s totally ok. This is a chance to test out any and all of my sales and marketing ideas for Uranus Factory Outlet. If I can sell THESE people I can sell the world. Milwaukee people are as cheap as they come and prying a buck loose is no easy feat. I have enough cheap cards to set up for the next few months and I will do that.

I need to get out there and test, test, test. That’s what mail order is all about and I know this isn’t mail order but it is a section of the public and I will take advantage of that. I will keep observing and seeing what sells and how the good dealers do it and learn a new craft that I can use to feed myself for many years. This is a new arena for me and I’m learning.

Actually I still had fun even though I didn’t sell a single thing. Most of the other guys in the room ate it too and I was at least near my friends Richard and Dennis. They both were teaching me the ins and outs of setting up at shows and I just shut up and let them tell me how they do it and I picked up little bits and pieces as they did. I am going to learn this.

Richard and Dennis and I are the same age and when we were kids growing up all three of us were big Milwaukee Brewer fans. One of if not THE biggest star on several of those teams in the 70s was a guy named George Scott. His nickname was ‘The Boomer’ and he was a big power hitting first baseman and a slick fielder too. He was my favorite player.

The Boomer was an autograph guest at Gonzaga Hall today and I got my chance to meet him in person. If you’d asked me as a kid to donate a lung for a chance to spend time with George Scott I’d have given up both of them and breathed through a straw. He was a huge star and an icon to Brewer fans. I remember he hit a home run the first game I ever saw.

They announced at the show he was in the back room signing and there was ‘no waiting at all’. I thought that was strange because this was the crowd that should have worshipped his memory like I did and even though the crowd was sparse it was the Boomer himself.

What a huge letdown it was to meet him in person. He’s 64 now and walks with a cane. He apparently is totally broke and goes around doing card shows whenever he can to get a little extra income coming in. He’s from Mississippi and has a restaurant but his family is involved and supposedly it loses money when he’s not there because they steal from him.

The whole story was pathetic and I heard about it from Leroy Kilps the guy who runs all the shows at Gonzaga Hall. He was saying how George was at a card shop signing not far from me in Waukegan yesterday and he was three hours late to that and today he charged a lot more than was advertised for his autograph so he could make a few more dollars.

I for one didn’t try to talk him down. He signed an 8x10 in his Brewer uniform the way I remembered him as a kid. I asked him to personalize it and he just wrote ‘Dobie’ under his name. Usually guys write ‘To Dobie: Good Luck’ or ‘Best Wishes’ or something like that but George didn’t seem to get that concept. He seemed to be out of it. I was uneasy.

I told him he was my favorite player and I wasn’t lying and I saw his eyes light up for a brief second. ‘Your favorite player, huh?’ ‘Yes sir.’ I said. ‘Of ALL time. NOBODY hit a tater like the Boomer.’ I saw his eyes drift off and then he came back and signed his name and that was it. I wanted to shake his hand but he didn’t seem to be in a handshake mood.

Here was a guy who had it all back in his day. He had Cadillacs and jewelry and was an all star and golden glove fielder and now he’s at Gonzaga Hall signing autographs to guys like me who remember how much we admired a guy like him. It was all a surreal picture.

I don’t think he made all that much money and on the way out he had to walk right past my table to get to his car. He had a cane and puffed at every step and stopped to rest right next to me. I tried to not notice him stooped over and out of breath and thanked him again for the autograph and wished him a safe trip home. I wish the guy well. He was my hero.

I watched Richard and Dennis watch the mighty Boomer hobble outside and all three of us talked about how sad an experience it was to watch that happen. He was someone that all of us grew up admiring and to see him now took a little piece of that memory away. It sure was a wakeup call for me to start being better with my money. I need an action plan.

There are no pensions in comedy. George Scott played 14 years in the big leagues and I have to think he gets some money from baseball somewhere. I don’t know how much it is and he’s obviously not handled his finances well but at least he has something coming in.

Nobody is going to pay me 20 years from now for jokes I told 20 years ago. I need to be smart and make myself some residual income so I’m not sitting in some funky gym years from now having some guy gawk at me saying ‘Hey, that’s Mr. Lucky. I used to listen to that guy on the radio. Wow, he sure has hit the skids.’ This was a big motivator for me.

Tonight we had a very good Mothership Connection radio show in Kenosha. We are on at a much better time now and are getting a groove going with guests. I had a meeting for dinner with Gary Pansch and he’s going to contribute a weekly feature that will be good.

The best way to work through my rough spot is to keep busy doing things I love to do. I am doing exactly that and we’ll see how I can parlay that into some financial security. I’d feel a whole lot better if I had some money in the bank so I don‘t end up like the Boomer.

Thanks Willie

2008-07-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

Saturday July 12th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

More needles today. Big needles. Sharp needles. Big sharp PAINFUL needles. A whole bunch of them. Right in my mouth…along with that infamous line ‘This may be just a bit uncomfortable.’ Uh huh. A bit uncomfortable. And Hitler was just a bit cranky. Exactly.

Dental pain has a classification all to itself. I’ve had all kinds of it in my life but today’s dose was as bad as I’ve ever felt it. There was drilling and grinding and scraping and it all was being paid for by me which even made it worse. I had the same guy that did the work last week but he wasn’t in as good a mood or something and today‘s session was harder.

Maybe because it was a back tooth or whatever the reason but this was just pure torture the whole time. He put a rubber chunk in my jaw to prop my mouth open and I felt like it was going to rip my lower jaw right out by the roots. He didn’t ask me if it was painful or not and just started grinding away. I was powerless as I just laid there and had to take it.

This is going to be a huge financial burden and I totally didn’t expect it. How to pay for it will come later. For now my mouth still hurts and I couldn’t eat anything all day. I tried to hit the Chinese buffet on the way home but my mouth was still frozen and I had a very hard time chewing anything. It was a funny situation for a movie scene but that’s about it.

Nothing has been very funny to me lately and usually I can find the humor in just about every situation. I’m just sick of everything and it seems like every direction I turn has one more booby trap I have to try and disarm. I’m not having very good luck with any of them and there are all kinds of explosions going off in every direction. This is a rough stretch.

A little encouragement would really be nice right now. My self esteem is in the toilet. If there was ever a time I needed a boost it’s now. I don’t feel any love from God and all the way down from there. I really could use a hug from someone or just a sign that says I will figure this out and have some good things happen at some point. It sure looks bleak now.

I did get a very nice email from a guy named Willie. He said he just stumbled upon this diary and has been following it. He called me ‘resilient and resourceful’ and that made me feel great to read those words from a total stranger. I sure do appreciate it. Thanks Willie!

Hopefully I can touch a lot of Willies in the world with this daily rambling. That’s a big reason of why I do it. I hope to inspire someone else to chase a dream somewhere. I didn’t come from the greatest circumstances and it really is a miracle that I made it this far but it sure isn’t getting any easier lately and I am having all kinds of things explode in my face.

Part of me wants to just lay down and die tonight. If I could turn my life over to anyone who is dying of cancer and has a family that loves them and wants to spend some time I’d gladly do it right now and just hop out of this world and hope the next one is a lot more to my liking. I wish life was like an Etch-A-Sketch and I could turn mine over and shake the past out and start over again. But I can’t. My mouth hurts but my soul hurts a LOT more.

R.I.P. Mike Irwin

2008-07-11T20:14:00.001-07:00

Friday July 11th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

Very sad news today. I received an email saying a comedian friend of mine Mike Irwin passed away. I knew Mike when I first moved to Chicago in the 80s. He was a few years older than me but always very friendly. He loved sports like I do and we bonded with that and comedy too. Mike was a great hustler and I mean that in a good way. He worked it.

Mike was a heavy set blond haired guy and looked more like John Candy than John did. He used to dress up in a cape and paint his face blue and go to Cubs games as ‘Ultra Fan’ or ‘Super Fan’ or some kind of a gimmick name he came up with. He started to get on TV a lot and that’s when the team put the kibosh on it. They didn’t like the attention he got.

He didn’t give up though. He was always trying some kind of angle and I respect him as much as any comic I’ve ever met for doing that. He had an old Checker cab he bought for road gigs and that became his signature car. He always had a flair for marketing himself.

One of his funniest bits was a character he did called ‘Coach’. It was a parody of an old time football coach giving a pep talk at halftime and it was hilarious. He would say funny and outlandish things and then say ‘Right team?’ The audience would then answer ‘Right Coach!’ It was one of my favorite comedy bits of all time and he really brought it to life.

I got to know Mike pretty well when he was in Chicago. He was also a dented can like most of us are and he opened up a little after we got to know each other. He just wanted a happy life and to hear the laughter and he really did give his all as long as I knew him. He moved out east and I hadn’t seen him for a while but I heard he was teaching classes too.

There’s a guy I’d gladly have shared anything I had with but he never asked. He heard I was teaching in Chicago and he asked if I minded if he did it out east and of course I was fine with it. Mike was a good soul while these other heathen bastards here are scumbags.

This is not a day to focus on the scumbags though. They’ve got their own things they’ve got to answer for some day. Mike Irwin has nothing to be ashamed of whatsoever and I’m sure wherever he is right now he is being welcomed with open arms and he deserves it.

What was really sad was I read he had cancer. It was discovered in his jaw of all places and by the time they discovered it it was already stage 4. Apparently he was in a whole lot of pain and that just rips me apart. He never spent his life doing anything other than trying to RELIEVE people’s pain. It seems so unfair that he would have to suffer even one bit.

I don’t understand this stupid planet and how it works and I never did. I have only very positive memories of Mike Irwin and I was and am saddened still to hear of his passing. It doesn’t seem fair because I don’t think he’s much over 50 if anything at all. It just stinks.

I did manage to get some work done today but none of it seems important right now. I’ll talk about it tomorrow. Maybe. This is a day to reflect on the positive life of Mike Irwin.

Damage Control

2008-07-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

Thursday July 10th, 2008 - Waukegan, IL/Kenosha, WI

I didn’t do all that much today but hopefully that’s about to change. I needed a day to be alone with my thoughts and a lot of thoughts they were. I’m at a real crossroads in my life right now and I don’t want to blow my opportunities like I’ve done so many times before.

I did some running around today but nothing strenuous. I stopped at my favorite joint to eat breakfast but the waitress I like was off. She hasn’t been there the last couple of times I stopped so maybe she quit or something but at least I stopped and tried. Grub was good as usual so it wasn’t a total loss. I do like that waitress though and would love to date her.

Maybe I’ll get a chance, maybe I won’t. Today wasn’t a day to worry about that or any other thing I can’t control. I’ve been beaten up lately by a lot of things and I just allowed whatever situation was at hand to be what it was. Maybe I should be like that more often.

After breakfast it was over to the radio station to cut a promo for the Mothership show. I met the G.M. for the first time and he was pretty laid back. I saw some others I haven’t seen in a while because I am in there on Sundays and they were all very complimentary of the show and whether they’ve heard it or not doesn’t matter. They were all very friendly.

After that I headed down to the Waukegan Auto Auction to drop off the title so I could run the Toyota through the auction. Whether it gets sold or not will be seen but I did get a message to stop doing the auction for a while. I need to pick ONE car and just drive that.

One thing I did was measure how far I walked yesterday and was shocked to find out it was exactly seven miles. That’s pretty good but I sure feel it in my legs today. It hurts just to get in and out of a car but at least I had a seven mile hike to think about what to do for the next little while. I need to regroup and pick a plan and stick with it. I’m too scattered.

I received quite an email from my friend Max down in Springfield. Max really took out the red pen and let me have it point blank. He told me some straight up points that cleared my sinuses and then some and I thank him for it. He was right. He told me I shouldn’t get wrapped up in car auctions and baseball cards and go out and live what I was meant to be.

I’d never really heard it put that way and a lot of it was in my face and non sugar coated but many times that’s how I am with people. They can’t take it and I become a pariah. It’s not easy to receive a face full of raw unbridled truth but that‘s exactly what I got today.

One thing Max can help me do is get my life savings back a little earlier than I thought. I have it tied up until late September as collateral for his ice cream shop and deli at a bank down in his town but he thinks he can rework the funding so I can get it earlier. I need it.

That would be SO huge even though I’ll end up spending a major chunk of it on teeth or my credit card bill but at least I’ll be able to get to ground zero and start over again with a clean slate. There will be no more baseball card purchases or junk cars in the near future.

I did those things because I enjoyed them and in a way I still do but it’s totally not what I need to be doing if I want any kind of a life and big time career. If I hit something I’ll be able to trade Rolls Royces like baseball cards if I want to but I’m not sure if I really do.

I want to CREATE. Period. That’s what I really enjoy. I thought about it all day and the things Max said are totally true. I need to crank out as much product as I can either as my own standup comedy products or writing movie scripts or even teaching comedy classes. I also need to focus on what’s good rather than what’s going wrong. That’s not so easy.

What IS easy? Nothing worthwhile is ever is. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so off target. Am I farting around to avoid something I know I have the ability to do? Am I afraid of it? I don’t know exactly what it is but I do know that what I’ve been doing is not satisfying.

Not a lot of people can do what I do on stage and the older I get the more I see that. I’ve really put my time in to learn how to do it and the vast majority of those who see it have a very positive opinion of it so why am I wasting my time trying to be a small time wheeler dealer just like my father and grandfather were? I don’t know but I’m sure rethinking it.

I got home and popped in the movie Airplane! I hadn’t watched that movie in years but it was made by the Zucker brothers who are from Milwaukee. I figured they were able to escape there and make something of themselves so I wanted to start soaking myself in the vibe so I can do it too. I watched it with the commentary from them and it was interesting.

They were in their 20s at the time and they had to fight the studios and bring it in under budget and all those hurdles new talents have to go through but they did it and it was very successful. They parlayed that into everything else they did and I have nothing but respect for them and would love to meet them someday. I learned a lot by watching and listening.

Dick Chudnow is another guy from Milwaukee I respect. Dick worked with the Zuckers and Jim Abrahams but apparently had a falling out for whatever reason. It’s not at all any of my business what the reason was and I’m not implying anyone was right or wrong. I’ve had my own share of that stuff myself. I don’t know that story but I do know about Dick.

Dick Chudnow went on to be the founder of Comedysportz. I was starting as a standup right at that time and sat in on a couple of their first meetings. I had a clear shot to be an original member then and in hindsight I kind of wish I would have done it. Too late now.

I saw the concept he was doing and liked it but I also didn’t want to share the stage back then. I wanted to be a standup so I decided to take that road but I know I could have done both at that time. Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda. Dick built that into a HUGE empire and he’s a brilliant marketer. He surrounded himself with talented people and I respect his vision.

The Zucker brothers are Hollywood stars. Dick Chudnow made the most of his situation and didn’t let their success stop him. He found his own thing and did it well. I’m now out floating in space and looking for my own thing to do well. I know it’s not at a car auction.

Needless Needles

2008-07-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

Wednesday July 9th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Not one but TWO crushing cosmic kicks to the keester today. Is there a disturbance in the force or something? That’s a lot even for me. It’s hard to get any positive momentum going when this kind of stuff keeps happening. I’m taking some major shots to the face.

Literally. I took my seat once again in Dr. Beyer’s death chair and got drilled and grilled yet again. Dr. Beyer really knows his stuff though and he was able to get the work done of three appointments because he had some time today due to a cancellation. He said if I had the stamina he would do it and I rolled my eyes and nodded. Those Russians get it done.

He had to drill on the tooth I just got root canalled because there needs to be a crown on it and he had to put a spike in the middle so it would hold. He showed me what he wanted to do but I told him to just do it because I trust his work. I really do. The guy is a real pro.

Unfortunately pros have to charge like pros. The whole crown is $1475 and then he saw two more cavities on the other side and said he could get those done if I had time. I did so I said yes but when he drilled the first one he said it was deeper than he thought and that’s a sure sign the other one would need a root canal now before it would hurt me very soon.

What can I say? No? I guess I could but after this last one I know I couldn’t take it like that again. I’d take a bullet first. He said he could get me in next Saturday and the same guy who did the last one would do this one. I guess that’s good but it’s going to break me.

Now I’m not tapping out my money anymore. I’m going to have to use the money I had put aside for the Uranus project. I have no choice. My credit card is maxed because of the cars blowing up and I have nobody to go to for help. Who’s going to loan me $3500 for a dental bill? Right. Nobody. I’ve felt alone my whole life but today took it to a new low.

This kind of thing is getting SO old after a lifetime of it. I’ve been wiped out to the very core so many times before I lost count. This is yet another one but at least I’m not scared. I’ve been here before and know how to survive. I’m actually pretty good at it. But it rots.

I went from the dentist to my Toyota that was marooned in a Jewel parking lot. I was as surprised as anyone when it started but when I started to drive it the temperature got very hot very quickly. It would red line and I’d shut it off and then wait and start it up again.

I did manage to get it back to the Waukegan Auto Auction where I bought it and I don’t know if I will get anything for it but I’ll try running it through the auction. Any money is good money right now and if it doesn’t sell I’ll junk it along with the Cadillac Seville and just cut my losses…twice. In a perfect world I could wait a little while but this isn’t it.

The best part of my day was walking west on Illinois Route 120 from the auction. I had to get to Route 83 and Rollins Road which I measured at about 9.6 miles when I drove the Toyota to the auction from there. I wanted to walk off my frustrations and think a little.

Actually I thought a lot. I’m in a real bind right now in a lot of areas and have as limited of resources as I’ve had in many years. I used to have a lot more steady comedy work and I suppose if I really tried I could get a lot more than I’ve got but I really don’t want that at this point in my life. There’s no future in it and like my filling today it’s a temporary fix.

I’ve been in these bad spots a lot in my life and I can think pretty calmly for someone in danger of having everything collapse. People through the years have always told me ‘You can handle a crisis better than ANYONE I’ve ever met.’ Is that some sort of compliment?

I don’t know, I’m usually too busy trying to shovel whatever the particular storm I’m in is dumping on me and I don’t have time to admire my crisis handling abilities. I took time today to take the walk because the weather was clear and I needed to blow off the steam.

All kinds of thoughts go through my head during these times. Some of them aren’t very pleasant and those showed up as well. I considered going on a killing spree and taking out the people who owe me money like that weasel in Topeka who STILL hasn’t paid me yet but what would that do? It’d make me feel better for two minutes and then off to prison.

But would it make me feel better? No, I really don’t think it would. I want happiness to rule my life and even those bilge holes who decided to steal from me. I want a ton of gigs in great venues with lots of people packed in who enjoy the shows. I want a sexy wife and loving kids and a great place I can call HOME and not live in a basement like an insect.

I want enough money to pay all my bills and feed a family and have a decent life while I spend my time preparing comedy to delight people all over the world. THAT’S what the goals are and always have been but I feel like I’m farther away than I’ve ever been before.

Nobody really cares that my teeth are a mess but maybe if there is a God He could have built me a little better and not made this an issue. Andrew Bogut just got a big guaranteed $60 million contract extension from the Milwaukee Bucks. I wonder how his teeth are? If they’re like mine at least he won’t have to worry about how he’s going to pay his dentist.

He’s a 7 footer who can play basketball and I’m 5’9” and am starting to look like one. I don’t think it’s fair and if I ever do meet a God type I sure will let that be known. Can’t a guy like Bogut SQUEAK by with say…$59 and a HALF million? I could use a little help.

Am I jealous of Andrew Bogut? No, not really. Good for him but what about ME and a lot of other people who are out there slugging and getting jammed? I don’t like it but this world seems to work that way and I don’t know what to do to change it. My teeth ache. It got worse as my walk got longer and eventually I had to call a cab. I couldn‘t keep going.

The woman (at least I think it was a woman) who was driving was one of the absolute sourest life forms I’ve ever encountered. She had a funky attitude and I could feel it as the cab stopped to pick me up. I didn’t know what to say so I shut up the whole way and I’m just numb to everything that went down today. Tomorrow I will start the damage control.

Tuesday Two Step

2008-07-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

Tuesday July 8th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

No more pussyfootin’. Check that. No more footin’. I need to clean house like when any sports team does. Some fire the coach or manager and others make a big trade or get a top draft choice to come play for them. Whatever the case it’s a matter of changing chemistry.

That’s what I need to do with my life. I need a shakeup in many ways and today I made steps in that direction. When I bought my new cell phone I signed up for a single price on unlimited calls so I got it out and started calling people that jumped out at me on my list.

I wanted to talk to the most positive people on the list and get some fresh energy going. Sitting and stewing about the comedy class situation or getting my car broken into is not a rut I need to stay in and being stuck in a basement isn’t the place to build the life I desire.

A lunch with Marc Schultz is always positive and he is a good contact on many levels. I enjoy his company as a friend because we have a lot of things to talk about that we share knowledge about but lately it’s been very professional. He is my corporate idea bouncer. I really trust his judgment and respect his lifetime of experience being around those people.

He is intrigued by all the projects I’ve got going and at some point I’d love to have him have to field calls for people looking to book me at high paying gigs. He’s already helped me present myself better in that area and today we again discussed getting the higher paid bookings and not having to drive to Duluth unless I really want to. I know I don’t want to.

I also had a meeting with Vince Carone who someone called ‘Dobie’s comedy son’. He does share my on stage high energy moving around style but that’s about it. He’s doing an outstanding job of handling himself off stage that I was never able to do. He’s nailing it.

People like Vince are why I teach comedy classes. There are people who the public has never heard of who are huge stars with me like Tony Talley and Carrie Long and Donna Lappert and Steve Purcell and Teme Ring and Mike Land and Cecilia Tolivera and Karl Newyear and Tom Clark and a whole lot of other people who have made me very proud.

I love to teach and encourage and watch people grow and live their dream of making an audience full of strangers laugh. That’s why I’m so hurt by all this backstabbing going on with my former associates. They refuse to stop thinking this is only a chance to get paid.

Money is great but the true payment is building lasting friendships with all of the super high quality people I just mentioned. They’re all great but Vince is especially sharp and if I do have to have a comedy son he’s Superbaby. He’ll be like a Ken Griffey Jr. and take it a whole lot farther than the old man did. Ken Griffey was very solid but Jr. is a superstar.

Vince has all the tools to be a big star too. He is smart and funny but most important is he understands MARKETING. We met for dinner and discussed a lot of things and came up with some ideas to help each other keep growing. I need to associate with a new crew.

My whole life I’ve always seemed to have friends that are older than me. Even as a kid I just seemed to buddy up with people a few years ahead and it’s still that way now. Maybe I skew on the older side or am an old soul and gravitate toward older people because it’s a habit. Marc Schultz is older than me by a few years as is Jerry Agar and the Kidders too.

Vince is in his mid 20s as are most of the comics who come out to Zanies for showcase nights on Mondays. People like Bryan Berrey and Jena Friedman and Jeff Hansen and all the new Chicago comedians look at me like I looked at C. Cardell Willis when I started in the 80s. Looking back on it he was a hip guy and I admired him right from the beginning.

His experience and confidence were very fun to be around and I always learned a bunch of new tricks every time I watched him work. I was the only one who would ask him for a detailed explanation and he could see from very early on that I had a spark inside to learn.

Vince Carone is exactly like that. He’ll ask me all kinds of questions and many of them are detailed but they’re always good questions and I try my very best to answer them in as no condescending a way as possible because I know like me he is only trying to get better.

Is he ever getting better. He’s putting together a strong onstage show but also making as many or more smart moves off of it. He’s on myspace and facebook and linkedin and all the other online networking sites. He has a DVD and is making another one and for many years he’s asked for my advice and not only asked, he FOLLOWED it and it worked out.

He’s my main link to the comedians his age group. I always heard Rodney Dangerfield was able to do that with the New York comics like Roseanne Barr who were in their 20s when Rodney was about my age now. They all looked up to him like their comedy leader.

I’m sure those new comics looked up to Rodney just like we in Milwaukee looked up to Cardell Willis. He taught us how to talk and conduct ourselves on stage and how to grab a mike or smash a heckler without being abrasive. He was truly our role model for comedy.

If I can be that to the Vince Carones of the comedy world I’ll be thrilled. There are a lot of up and comers now and I always try to be as nice as I can to most of them especially if I see a spark in there somewhere. Many times they’re just wasting their time with all of it.

Vince has some great web connections and we talked about a lot of things. He’s a sharp guy and I know we can help each other out very shortly. Marc is on one end of the list for getting bookings in a corporate world and Vince is my key to tapping the new generation.

Both meetings today were not only fun but very productive. I need to keep this growing.
On the way home my oil light sent the news bulletin my Toyota was out of oil. I had it sold for $800 or so I thought but now I’m not so sure. It started making bad noises about four miles from home so I parked it and walked the rest of the way. I just laughed because it didn’t seem possible that anything else could go wrong. I guess it could. I’ll just let it sit and will deal with it tomorrow. The good thing I can depend on is nobody will steal it.

Who'd Steal From ME?

2008-07-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

Monday July 7th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Ninety-nine percent of today was really positive but the one percent that wasn’t sure did wipe the smile off my face. This was just plain weird. Whatever I’m doing that’s keeping me in this goofy vibe needs to stop but quick. I feel like I’m being played like a pan flute.

The day started great with a killer segment on WLS with Jerry’s Kidders. I think we had our best showing ever by far because we were very conversational and everyone involved contributed to the collective and the sum was greater than the parts. It was great fun to see happen and I felt we made a giant leap forward. It doesn’t get more satisfying than that.

After the show Vicki Quade came by to join us all for lunch. We always get together for a meal afterwards and that’s part of the whole experience. It’s a chance to hang out and be a team and sometimes Kipper McGee the program director joins us too. It‘s really a blast.

Vicki was going to buy my Honda but for whatever reason decided against it. I’m not in the mood to question it and I was just trying to help her son out. No big deal, life goes on. I dropped Vicki off after lunch and made some stops in the city while I was around town.

One of the stops was to some of the thrift stores in my old Andersonville neighborhood. They’ve got some decent ones and I just love to hunt for treasures. It relaxes me and I am still naïve enough to think I’m going to find an original Gutenberg parchment of the Bible or a copy of the Constitution for two bucks that I’m able to sell on Ebay for $2 million.

Anyway, I brought my CD container with about 20 discs in it to sell at Zanies tonight as I was the headliner of the Monday night show. I also had my leather bound book thing for carrying a legal pad and business cards and all that. It’s not worth anything and I got it for $5 at the same thrift store I was visiting today. When I came back to my car it was gone.

I took a double take and sure enough I checked again and the CD case and legal pad had been stolen out of my back seat. I was shocked, angry, hurt and frustrated as I couldn’t get around the concept of what lowlife farm animal pail of subhuman disease ridden mildewy black hearted minimum wage low rent soap scum sucking bag of oozing poodle poop had fallen so low on this pathetic pebble of pitiful pus we call a planet to have to do it to ME.

Yes I maybe should have locked my doors but I’ve been through this over and over. It’s an argument that can go either way. Do I want a car window with no radio or do I want a missing radio with a smashed window to boot. Usually I leave doors open just because an easy thing to do is lock my keys in a car. I’ve done that too many times so I leave it open.

I didn’t think of it when I did it but I had NO idea someone would steal those two little stupid trinkets that mean next to nothing to anyone else on this planet except me. I had an outline of my new comedy class format I want to try and also all my product development notes from Uranus Factory Outlet. I’d been working on both of these things very hard as I drove to and from Wausau and Duluth last week. I was happy with a lot of the new ideas.

So why of all days and times and places did TODAY have to be the day I had some pud decide to relieve me of my personal trinkets and baubles? There was nothing of any value except $40 in cash in my CD bag. I keep $10 bills handy to make change at shows as it’s a bit hectic sometimes to try and get change from a waitress. I had some ready for tonight.

I wouldn’t have had a problem paying the $40 as a stupid tax for the day but having the notes of all my hard work of late be taken too was really a kick in the Lucille Balls. I tried walking in every direction and checking to see where the crack head(s) may have dumped it as I’m sure it had no use to them at all but no luck. It’s two needles in a giant haystack.

Stuff like this has happened to me over and over and OVER and over and over again for my entire life. I won’t get into details but I stopped to think of all the times I’ve gotten my problems to hit at the worst possible time or in the worst possible way and it took a while to think of them all. For whatever reason this kind of freakish thing is nothing new to me.

I called Jerry Agar and just vented for a few minutes. He can’t do anything about it but I did feel good just blowing off steam. I have ZERO tolerance for punks or druggies or the gang or whomever had to think it was cool to pilfer the auction bought car of a struggling comedian. Yes I maybe should have locked it but I thought I was walking among humans.

Those exact notes are gone forever. Nobody will ever find them and I’ve already given up before it starts. I’ve had briefcases lost or stolen along with wallets or computer bags with the computer still in them and not once have I been able to recover the lost property. It’s in a garbage can somewhere or laying in the middle of a street or an alley. It’s gone.

Maybe some gang bangers will use my CD for a beverage coaster for their 40 ouncers. I hope they try to cash them in at a record shop so at least I get some exposure in the hood. At least my name is on what was stolen but still I am not going to ever see it again. UGH.

I’m blown away by how this kind of stuff keeps happening to me. I didn’t even plan on having the car come back to me and I took the train into the city. Usually I take it back to Lake Villa and then drive into Zanies for the evening show. Not today. But then it’s this.

I’m not looking for sympathy or anything other than a reason of why this happens. I am really trying extra hard to be a good person and not hurt others but that’s not the dividend I’m getting back. Between the peanut heads who are stealing my class idea and this latest kick in the ass I’m not understanding what lesson if any I’m supposed to learn from it all.

Who wouldn’t be upset about this? Quite frankly I’m fuming about it and questioning a reason for why I’m here even more. I feel like I’m on the wrong planet and some thing or someone is hell bent on making my time here miserable. Whatever that may be is doing it quite thoroughly, I‘ll say that. Whatever I did to make this happen I wish I could change.

The sad part is the rest of the day was really fun. I had a blast at WLS and at Zanies and I hung out with friends and that all gets wiped out because of a selfish ugly act of an idiot.