Not Hip Enough for MySpace

Tired.....

2008-12-12T14:19:00.002-05:00

So I'm not scheduled for the second job tonight. I'm getting the oil changed on my car (this will not resolve the "check engine" light issue, it's more for my own piece of mind) after work and debating on whether or not to do laundry before the weekend actually starts.

Regardless, I'll be checking my apartment for a tse-tse fly.

Why?

Because all friggin' week I haven't been able to stay awake past 10pm!! I've tried everything to stay awake but nothing is working, AND there's no logical reason for me to be soooo tired! Therefore if no logical reason is presenting itself, one must start looking at the illogical reasons. As I do not think that God would pick me as the mother of the second Messiah (the least of reasons being that whole "Virgin" clause was blown out of the water decades ago) I'm going with a rare, African wetland insect loose in my apartment and nightly stings me which causes me to pass out from fatigue.

It's really the only reason that makes sense.

Expiration Date

2008-11-13T14:36:00.003-05:00

I'll just put this out there and see if anyone still visits....

So how long after divorce should one wait until they start dating again? Is it a matter of an Emily Post etiquette algorithm like "Two Waiting Months to Each Year Married"? I would then beg to argue that only 'happy years' should be considered in this marriage equation, as the unhappy ones were their own kind of purgatory that has already been suffered through.

THEN, when would this 'waiting period' begin? Once both parties had decided that the marriage was over? When the households split? When the judge signed off on the official notice at the courthouse?

All that is fine and good, but what if you didn't think that you'd ever feel like dating EVER again? What if this 'non-dating' period took YEARS and by the time you finally decided that you'd like to give it a try the only eligible bachelors around were Myron and Ralph on the third floor of the retirement community. --Neither one having their own teeth, knees, or colons anymore?

Is it worth it to go out with someone even if you don't really feel like it? Let's be honest here, wasn't that the last few years of my marriage?

I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to wake up one day and realize that I've passed my expiration date. I don't want to be one of those sad cans of organic soup that sit -unwanted- on the closeout rack at Meijer waiting for someone, anyone to take them home.

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?

2008-10-31T14:15:00.002-04:00

That I'm the dullest person in the metro-Toledo area?

I keep thinking that I should update this blog, but I don't do anything other than work job 1 then go to job 2 and work some more.

Naturally, that's not ENTIRELY true... I did go to Cedar Point the other Saturday with some very dear friends, and the weekend before that I was in Wisconsin hanging out with the BFF and her family (an awesome trip, by the way).

However left to my own devices I'm a friggin' old lady!

Trying to Understand the Karma of it All

2008-09-05T15:31:00.003-04:00

OK, so divorce court went well (I guess...?...). It made me giggle a little that the whole divorce court proceeding should take as long as the wedding ceremony...

I went to SSA afterwards and showed them my paperwork so that I can once again have my ethnicity back. Walked in, waited less than 5 minutes, filled out a form, and left the building in another 5 minutes.

On Friday (at 4:30 no less...) I went to the BVR to change my driver's license to my maiden name and was told that the state of Indiana had a hold on my license. They gave me the # to the Indiana BVR and I called there (at 4:53pm). Welllllll, apparently I had gotten a ticket in Michigan and not paid some fine, so the state of Michigan sent some form to Indiana and I can't renew my license there. The (bitchy) woman in Indiana gave me the # to the Michigan Secretary of State and told me to clear things up with them.

......oh.......and this "Mystery Ticket" is from December of 1998......

Since it was a holiday weekend, I couldn't call anyone until Tuesday. I tried to call after work, but --apparently-- there was some kind of power outage in Lansing and they didn't have computers. I called again yesterday around 4pm.

The Secretary of State lady was (actually) pleasant as she could be. She said that I had NO outstanding tickets in that state either by my married or maiden names. She said that she didn't see any reason why Indiana wouldn't let me renew my Ohio license and gave me a different # to call in Indianapolis.

So I called the other # and got this PMS-ing bitch of a woman. I explained what I was trying to do and how I'd already called the state of Michigan and that they couldn't find what the state of Indiana was referring to by an unpaid ticket. I --further-- explained to the woman that in December of 1998, I was living in Michigan. We had moved there in October of 1998 and that I didn't understand how they could have gotten my Indiana license when I didn't have it any longer.

Basically, Ms. Bitchy McPMS told me that there was nothing that she could do. I had to pay the state $150 to reinstate my license, that was the ONLY way that she could take the block off of my license. After listening to her patronize me for 10 minutes, I asked to speak to her manager.

Who was twice the bitch that the first lady was!

She didn't seem to care that Michigan hadn't issued any kind of "hold" or that I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE AN INDIANA LICENSE when this "ticket" had occurred!! She wasn't listening to a friggin' word I said!! It was all I could do not to call her a fu%*ing c#nt right then and there! --And as potty as my mouth can get, I NEVER use the C-word.

So I copied my three proofs of address (this -again- the Indiana people couldn't understand. I pay my bills electronically. I receive my statements online. There are no envelopes or bills that come my way in the snail mail) and I sent the friggin' state of Indiana 150 goddammed dollars for what --I assume-- is THEIR friggin' error. (Let's be honest, I don't have the $1500 retainer for a lawyer, let alone the time and effort to argue this any further.)

The karma bit is this:
When we were first married, I filled out the SSA papers and mailed them in. The next year (when we filed taxes) I got a notice that my name didn't match "Rife" on my W-2 forms. I filled this out again (in the crap state of Indiana).

We moved to Michigan and --again-- I was notified that my name was still "Weber" on some form of legal something. I went --again!-- to the SSA and filled out the friggin' form.

When I moved back to Ohio (after living in Wisconsin for 6 mos) I had to become a notary, and was **you guessed it!** notified YET AGAIN that my social security records were STILL in my maiden name! I went to the SSA offices in downtown Toledo filled out the friggin form (by memory this time...) and within 2 weeks, I had my "Rife" social security card.

NOW, I can't change anything else over until I'm back to being a "Weber" and the sucking hellhole of a state known as Indiana won't let me change back!

What am I supposed to learn from this? Never change your name? Know who you are and don't forget it? Take the good times from your marriage into your future?

I just want my goddammed name back!

.....oh yeah.......I overnighted that money order*!

*I'd send a check, but as my address hasn't been updated on it, I'm afraid it would just confuse the people in Indiana. Their pea-picking brains can't seem to comprehend much......

**By the way, I don't see the logic in updating my checks until AFTER my name is changed (since it's both address and name that are different) and I can't do that until I get my new STATE ISSUED ID!

I'm almost beginning to feel that this marriage will NEVER be over......

One Week

2008-08-21T08:38:00.003-04:00

The countdown continues......
Next week (at this time) I'll be in downtown Toledo for my 8:45am family court marriage dissolution.

Then off to the social security office to change my info there, then back to work.

.....man! I know how to live!!

22 Days

2008-08-06T12:34:00.002-04:00

22 days until I'm officially single again.

22 days until I'm a Weber again. (One 'b'; I didn't stutter...... it's 'Weber', not "Web-ber"...)

22 days until the last (13-year) chapter in my life is closed.

Am I excited? Yeah, a bit.

Am I sad? Yeah, a bit.

Am I happy? ...I don't know.....

Am I repressing a deep depression? .......I really don't think so, but if I'm repressing it I wouldn't know for sure, would I??

The one thing that I DO know for sure is that I have the best, most supportive, and most affirming friends EVER!

.........now if only I can remember how to be single......

Family Support

2008-07-25T11:40:00.003-04:00

I know that my parents love me and that they're worried sick about how I'm doing on my own again. --I know this because they call almost weekly (which they don't normally do) and try to convince me to move back to Colorado. They'll even pay for the plane tickets/gas/covered wagon to get me back home!

I know that my friends --you know who you are, and you know that I consider you even closer than family-- love me and care for me and are 'there' whether I need advice, a mop and bucket, or help with heavy lifting!

So imagine my surprise when Rich's older sister (Cindy) emails me and says that she would like to keep in touch with me, even though I'll no longer be part of Rifeland. She went on to say that she doesn't think that Rich has changed for the better and that her heart is breaking for me.

!

I emailed her back and said that I'd love to keep in touch with her (and her family). She's a truly loving, wonderful person and very much the older sister I never had. She is genuine in her friendship and honest in her living. I also told her (in the email) that I wasn't out to hurt Rich in this divorce. I wasn't taking EVERYTHING like Jen did and that I truly wish nothing but the best for Rich.

I'll be honest here. I did this #1: because it's the truth but also because #2: because I wanted his whole family to know that I'm not the 'bad guy' in this split.

So she emailed me back. Cindy let me know that SHE knows that I'm not a vindictive person (ala the first wife, Jen) and that Rich's mom and dad also think that Rich's mid-life change is NOT FOR THE BEST. Basically, his whole family think that he's going off the deep end.

Why?

Because apparently he's told them that he is trying to live a monastic life and that I couldn't do that. He wants simplicity and quiet and I just won't go there with him.

Naturally, I had to point out that monks don't have girlfriends and that regardless of the words coming out of his mouth, Rich is dating someone else now.

I think that family shit may be about to hit the fan in Rifeland.

Ratty Cuticles and Bruised Body

2008-07-21T15:56:00.003-04:00

Hooray! I have my own apartment!!

The Pro's:
walking about nekkid!
showering with the bathroom door wide open
putting things where I want them to be
only needing one light on at a time

The Con's:
moving furniture from one side of the room to the other until I decide where it should go
deep cleaning furniture that hasn't seen the light of day since 2004
remembering to unplug cords that are not in use (plugging them in just completes the connection and 'draws' a current)

A sincere and deep appreciation go out to Nif and Anna for their hard work on Saturday. Without them I'd still be out at my storage place wondering how the hell I was going to load the UHaul! --Or worse, I'd have to have 'Richard' help me.

Tomorrow night I'll be getting the Ish and settling him into the new apartment. I miss Argyll already and worry that 'Richard' will show him the same callous lack of affection that he's shown me over the past 4 years..... It amazes me that someone who is so "spiritual" has so little respect for God's four-legged creations. I guess it only goes to show what a complete bastard Richard has become.

Scheister-Thursday

2008-07-10T16:11:00.002-04:00

So I met Rich downtown this afternoon so that we could hire the cheap lawyer. Yes, I'd rather hire lawyer-chickie who seemed to know what the hell she was doing, but it seems to ALWAYS come down to money with Rich.

So since Rich called the lawyer's office, he got to "hire" him and I'll be signing off on my right to counsel. (Unless I can come up with $1000 to cover lawyer-chickie on my own.) ((I don't quite know how I'm going to pull my car payment AND the deposit I need in order to get my electricity turned on over at my new apartment out of my ass this week, so that $1000 is a pipe dream of monumental proportions.))

I'm ..."-ad"...?... that things are here already. "Glad" that I can finally start to get on with my life, "Sad" that the marriage is over, "Mad" that the past 13 years mean NOTHING to Rich and that I've wasted my time and opportunities on building a life with him, and "Had" as if all I ever meant to him was someone to be a parent since he couldn't. ......."Chad"?--I'd like to perforate him like a dimpled chad. ......."Dad"?--I wish that Rich could have acted like a dad and not like a roommate for his daughter. ........."Nad"?--I'd like to kick him in the nads.

I suppose that that's enough Dr. Seuss for now.

Two Posts in Less than Two Weeks

2008-07-03T09:09:00.004-04:00

Can it be possible?

Do I REALLY have something to say?

Truthfully....... no, not really. Things are .....well......things. I managed to get over to my new apartment complex and turn in my deposits (one for the apartment itself and one for the cat). I'm --not so secretly-- friggin' excited as hell that I'll finally have my own place. I think that Rich and I are at "that place" where we just can't stand looking at each other anymore and that we're ready to move on.

.....or maybe that's just me?

OK, this past Saturday he had mentioned that he needed to go to one of the local outdoor malls. Apparently he signed himself and his daughter up for Verizon cell service and his employer has some kind of contract with Verizon that gives a discount for their employees. He has just needed to bring in a paystub to prove that he works for Goodwill Industries. His car was in the shop over the weekend (another long story) and he was planning on biking the 8 miles to the mall. No big deal. It's #1-healthy, and #2-environmentally friendly.

So Saturday dawns and the weather is looking pretty crappy. He waited until around 10:30am before he got ready to head out, and the clouds were looking a little dark. I told him that I needed to go to the bank and that since my bank has a location over in Perrysburg I could take him to the mall, drop him off, go to the bank, run a quick errand, then pick him up. UNLESS HE WAS GOING TO THE MALL TO SHOP OR HAVE LUNCH WITH SOMEONE and didn't know when he would need his return trip.

He looked me in the eye and said, "No thank you, I'm really looking forward to the bike ride."

Fine. So I went to the closer bank location, ran one of my errands for the day then came back home. The clouds had opened and it was storming like hell. When I got into the apartment, Spencer mentioned that she hoped that her dad was OK and I told her that (if she wanted) she could call him and that if he needed a ride home I'd go to get him. She called him and he said that he WAS MEETING A FRIEND FOR LUNCH and would be home later.

She got ready for her day (working at Subway) and left. I --meanwhile-- was pissed. WTF?!?! Did I not phrase my original question in English? How the hell difficult is it to tell the friggin truth?!?

I wasn't going to waste my day waiting for his sorry ass to come home, so I left him a scathing note. Basically it said that I was tired of him lying to me, omitting the truth to me, and his general passive-aggressive attitude (his biggest pet peeve is people acting passive aggressively -by the way). I told him that I 'get' that he doesn't want to keep hurting me (since he's said that he's actively DATING his new girlfriend and not going to stop until we're divorced --or even until we're in seperate apartments) but I told him that it hurts MORE that he can't be honest. ((And it's not the first time we've had THAT conversation!))

I left the note where he could find it and left for the day. I didn't get home Saturday night until around 11pm. He was in his bedroom, reading/avoiding me.

He hasn't said ANYTHING to me about it. He hasn't apologized and I don't expect that he ever will. --I guess that it's against the Bastard Code of Ethics.

He DID say (on Monday) that he wanted to go to a local retreat center for Thursday night and Friday night this week. He said that he felt that he needed to get away and think about things.

I don't know what this means. Maybe he's coming up with more new and improved ways to knife me in the back emotionally?

Thank God that this is the last month I have to live with him!

In other news, I talked with a lawyer last Thursday. As I've never divorced before I don't quite know the steps involved and am not stupid enough to blindly trust the information given by the guy that Rich talked to. After talking with her, I feel better about the process and I'm pretty confident that I'm not going to get screwed over. I'm also not sure that I want to sign off on my rights and just use Rich's guy.

OK--so about a month ago, Rich says, "Hey, we have the $800 for the retainer for the lawyer, let me call him and get the dissolution started."

I said, "Whoa. Wait a minute. I checked this out online and I was under the impression that we need to have two seperate residences before we do the dissolution of marriage." --Obviously since I'm spiritually dead, I'm probably just stupid and making things up as well, so Rich had to call up his guy the next day and check.

His guy said that we can stay together throughout the entire process. No problem!

I told Rich that regardless of what his guy was telling him, I wanted my own place before we hired anyone. It ticked Rich off (as his tunnel-vision on what he wants is blinding him to EVERYTHING and EVERYONE around him) but he said that he'd wait then.

So I asked this other lawyer-chickie about the seperate residences thing. Mainly just to verify that it's OK to live together while we legally seperate.

SHE said that for the dissolution process, each party MUST RESIDE AT SEPERATE ADDRESSES. For a full-fault-finding divorce, you can still live together, but as the dissolution is stating that "The marriage is over, we have divided our possessions, incomes, liabilities, AND we have seperate households" --you may NOT reside together and that certainly she'd be a little suspect of any lawyer who told us anything different.

So I told Rich what lawyer-chickie had said and how she had described the process. Her retainer is $1000 and $200/hour past that. She said that as we seemed to have everything divided and didn't have any joint property/financial obligations together (Rich has contacted the IRS and everything is under his name now) she didn't see how we'd go over the retainer-time by more than an hour or two at the most.

So Rich gets all bent out of shape by the retainer cost being "so high". Dude. We have friggin' $800 already. It's another $200. AND THIS CHICK ISN'T GIVING US BAD LEGAL ADVICE!! LET ALONE--let me explain how we've amassed this $800: I took our wedding rings and a couple of other pieces of MY old silver jewelry to a gold liquidator and got $200; I called a salvage yard and sold the old GrandAm for $200 scrap metal. Richard friggin called his mommy and asked for the other $400. Who the hell's idea was this divorce?!?! --AND WHO THE HELL IS DOING ALL OF THE GODDAMNED WORK!!!! --Don't even get me started on why the hell if HE wants out am I the one moving?!

He friggin' sickens me anymore.

He's not the same person --let alone personality-- that he was when we met in 1994 and married in 1995.

I'm so ready to be done with him.

About Friggin' Time

2008-06-24T12:25:00.003-04:00

Well, it's about friggin' time to post a new post.

Things have changed --A LOT-- since March, but since only three people read this you probably know all about it already!

Anyway,
I'm REALLY looking forward to moving into my new place! I FINALLY get to live by myself!! ....well, almost all by myself.... I'll be taking Ishmael (the crabby tabby) with me when I move out. Sure, I'll still have to come home from time to time to set dinner out for his Lord Tubbiness, but it's not like I'll be owing him an explanation for anything I do!

I told Rich that I was excited to finally be completely on my own. He seemed somewhat surprised by the remark. I know that he really doesn't give a rat's ass as to what I do with the rest of my life so I honestly don't know why he would seem surprised that I wanted to be alone. I was tempted to explain that I wouldn't wake up every morning holding my breath wondering what his mood would be like that day. Would he be happy? Would he be aloof? Would he speak with me? Would he bury his head in his book or computer game and forget I even existed?? How the hell would I NOT be excited to finally live with someone whose emotions were honest?

--By this I'm referring to the cat, of course. Ishmael wakes up feisty, demands breakfast, mellows out until dinner, gets feisty again at around 5pm, then cuddles on the sofa until bedtime. When he's pissed at you, you know it. When his belly is full, he's content.--

So anyway, this next month is just going to drag on.

Other new news-

I started my part-time job at Starbucks last night. I had been working at Target, but was only getting 12-16 hours a week. What's the point? Sure, if the employee discount were 20% I'd probably still be there but the discount was just 10%. The manager at Starbucks said that she could guarantee me 18-22 hours a week once I was out of training. --I may not need this many hours, but it's nice to know that I can get them.

I nearly keeled over this past weekend when Her Royal Spenceness actually deigned to speak with me. It has been almost a month since she's done more than grunt or give a monosyllabic reply to anything I've asked of or said to her. -But here's the best part...... SHE initiated the conversation! It leaves me wondering what she wants...?.....

I tried on the most faboolous fitting bra this past weekend! It may mean nothing to you, but it made me happy. My 'girls' were perky and up where I like them, my back felt no strain whatsoever, and the bra itself was very pretty. The drawbacks were that it was an "H" cup (and a 36 band size......I think that it was wonky sized because it was French), and that it was $72. No thank you.

Well, I can say that I'll try to post more regularly but who really knows for sure?

Thanks for listening!!

Spring Update

2008-03-20T09:28:00.003-04:00

They're calling for snow again tomorrow.

...and thus begins Spring in the Midwest!

I just thought that I'd update this on the off-chance that anyone still looks at it. So back to where I left off, I guess...

"Chicago" went exceedingly well. --Especially considering the fact that the first time that the ENTIRE cast was ever together was opening night. I'm serious. Once the lights came up on stage, it was as though we'd all been there, rehearsing diligently together for months. As Geoffrey Rush says time and again in "Shakespeare In Love" --'It's a mystery'!

Pip just finished the high school's spring musical ("High School Musical") last weekend. She said that it was fantastic and that the cast did a REALLY good job. She was student producer for the show, so wasn't on stage. I'd have gone to see the show if she was onstage. I'm not saying that I didn't think that her part wasn't worth supporting --quite the opposite, in fact. I just don't care for the music in that show, so didn't feel the need to sit through it. I supported the crew by making rice crispy treats and Fruity Pebbles treats (same concept at rice crispy's, different cereal).

For our spring concert, Chorale is doing a 'kids concert' at the Perrysburg library. The music doesn't 'wow' me, but we like to give back to the greater community from time to time and since the library is one of our biggest supporters (time and talents vs. $$) it only stands to reason that we'd put together something that will fit their demographics. The concerts are April 12th & 13th, so pretty soon my Monday nights will be clear again!

Graduation is right around the corner (June 7th if you're interested), so I've already tried to start planning for that. Pip's mom, aunt, and siblings are coming up for it, so we've been checking into hotels and such for them. I don't see us having a graduation party for her, there's really no time for it. --Besides, we live in an apartment called 'Lilliput' for Christ's sake!! Four people tend to crowd the living room!

Well, since nothing of note is really going on, I'll let you go back to reading blogs of importance!

Wait Until January??

2008-01-08T12:01:00.001-05:00

Did I really end my last post with that? I should learn not to tempt fate like that...

I had all the intentions of an easy month. Chorale doesn't pick up again until the 14th (our director is in Paris post-holiday), I'm not currently in a Playshop production, and (although we have a children's concert Feb first) church is low-key now that Advent and Christmas is over.

What was that? I'm IN a Playshop production? How could that be? I didn't even audition!

It turns out that one of the minor characters couldn't commit to her role after all, and now I'm 'Mary Sunshine' in Chicago. So now I have rehearsals on Tuesday nights, Friday nights, and Sunday afternoons. --And did I mention that opening night is a month from yesterday? Eeek!

The hardest part is that this character is neither drunk nor a floozy. I have no personal point of reference to base her on! --teehee.

"She" is, of course, a man.

I think I may have fun with this.....

Hey, Look! It's been another month!!

2007-12-07T10:48:00.000-05:00

My how the time flies when you're... ummm.... ...lazy?

I know that I'm no busier than any other person out there, so I don't really know how the rest of you can manage to keep up with posting pithy bits on a nearly daily basis. Anyway.... here's the past month in a nutshell.

The symphony chorale that I sing with had our fall concert Nov 9th and 11th. It went pretty well. It was a LOT of music. Wayne (our director) picked "Psalms" as the theme. I had missed 3 rehearsals through September and October (due to 'Beauty and the Beast' production) and felt it with this concert. I feel like I missed all of the picky-note-rehearsals for the last half of the concert. Oh well, I got through it all without an unscheduled solo anywhere and that's ALWAYS a good thing!!

Symphony Chorale's Christmas concert was this past weekend. (Benjamin Britten's "Ceremony of Carols" if you're interested.) We had 3 weeks to rehearse it. It was pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. Believe it or not, we even got a standing ovation. How weird is that??

This past weekend was also Playshop's production of "Escanaba in da Moonlight". As the business trustee for the organization, I'm in charge of the box office, so I worked it this time. I didn't get to see the show due to people showing up late but I hear it was good.

Now it's all about advent/Christmas music. The chorale has a small group of us (25 voices) that are singing at some local Christmas functions. Our first 'show' is tonight for the local library's Christmas party. Hopefully I've remembered everything I need for the show as I'm not planning on going home before it. We sing at an extended-care / retirement facility on Monday and at a local hospital for the volunteer's Christmas party on Thursday.

I hope that Santa's watching.

This Sunday night, our church is doing our annual Advent service and we've been working on that music like you wouldn't believe. None of it is THAT difficult, but none of it is easy either. Our director (again, Wayne) picks music where not only the key changes, but so does the timing. It's pretty sad when the easiest song to learn is the one we're singing in Nigerian. --I'm hoping that I have no surprise solos this coming Sunday night. At this point, it's a definite possibility.

Then come rehearsals for Christmas Eve. We have two weeks to learn Pergolisi's "Magnificat" along with the rest of the musical extravaganza that IS the midnight service on Christmas Eve.

I'll be SO happy when it's finally January.

Oh the drama.......

2007-11-09T08:39:00.000-05:00

This past week has been tough.

Was I busy at work? --No more than usual.....
Was I struggling through another Hell Week with a play? --Nope.
Were Rich and I at each other's throats? --Never.

The inevitable has happened.

Pip and her (now long-distance) boyfriend had a fight and went "on a break". Egad. The tears, the frustration, the heartbreak of it all. I'm SOOOO glad that I'm not 18 anymore.

In the end, the "break" lasted all of four days. He decided that studying on the pre-med track, trying to keep those grades in the A/B categories, being on his own at school, working a part-time job, trying to hang out with friends, and maintaining a long-distance relationship was too much for him to do. Since what he's actually enjoyed learning throughout high school was government, he's switching his major and is hoping to (eventually) teach government/ civics/ history at the high school level. Or possibly run for office someday.

Quite frankly, I had told Pip earlier that he didn't seem like any doctor I had ever known, let alone a SURGEON. (He had been hoping to go into neurosurgery.) I'm not saying that he wasn't smart enough (he is), it's the drive he was missing. I give doctors and surgeons a LOT of credit. In order to serve their patients, the MD misses out on a lot of life along the way. It's a very hard life that they're called to. I wouldn't want that job, nor would I particularly like to be married to one. (Thankfully, I'm not!)

So anyway, now that the tension is soothed home is a better place to be. Pip and Jefe have learned valuable lessons in communication, commitment, and (last but certainly not least) real life.

Thus endeth this week's Afterschool Special, "An Autumn Breakup".

The Shorn Q-Tip

2007-11-02T11:00:00.000-04:00

I always feel kind of bad when I let slip the foibles my family members, so as part of the Parent Bloggers Network's current BlogBlast "Even Beauty Experts Make Mistakes" ( http://blog.parentbloggers.com), it's time to let off one of my own less than stellar moments.

Let me start by saying that I was a child of the 80's.

...I'm lying already.....

I was a TEENAGER of the 80's. ......now I'm not talking the mall-bang-Jon-Bon-Jovi-is-SO-mint late 80's. That era was for wussies. I'm talking the hardcore, punk/'New Romantic", we-just-bought-a-Wahl-and-aren't-afraid-to-use-it 1980's!! I suppose that I could write about the lovely lime-green Mohawk I strutted through the streets of Minneapolis with in my Mary Tyler Moore gone bad phase or my Robert Smith of the Cure black rat's nest that I ended the decade with, but I thought that I'd take y'all WAY back to the beginning of it all.

Grab a cup of cocoa, get settled in your chair, and prepare yourselves.......

My natural haircolor is a dark, dishwater blonde. It's not pretty. My personal opinion is that God gives people this haircolor when he runs out of ink in his special haircoloring markers. It's like a special dispensation to: "Ah, do what you can with it". So, by the time I was in eighth grade, I'd had enough. It wasn't light enough to be a pretty blonde and it had no sparkle like what brunettes have. I saved my babysitting money and in the summer of 1982 I went to Rexall Drugs and bought a box of "Deep Mahogany" Miss Clairol. While my parents were at work one Saturday morning, I transformed myself from drab to ......well..... kind of a 'dark grape' color.

Naturally, when my mom came home, she was furious. She took me to the salon to have the color stripped out of my hair. I remember that it was a long and smelly process and it left my hair remarkably straw-like afterwards. She forbade me from ever COLORING my hair again so long as I lived under her roof.

And I spent the summer babysitting to pay her back for the small fortune she had spent to turn my hair back to it's proper color.

*****If you think that this is the end of the story, just wait! It gets better!!*****

The salon used bleach back then to pull color out of hair. Now bleach doesn't just strip out artificially deposited color, mind you, it removes ALL color. It had taken them a couple of bleachings to pull out Miss Clairol (a tanacious woman, I tell you), then they had to put another color down to take the brassiness out. The color I left the salon with was NOT my natural. It was a deep golden with soft strawberry highlights. IT WAS NOT DRAB.

An awareness struck me. I was forbidden to PUT COLOR INTO my hair, by my mother's edict. However, TAKING THE COLOR OUT was an entirely different beast! And I looked gooood as a strawberry blonde!

So I proudly purchased my first bottle of Sun-In. From 1982-1983, I single handedly kept this company in business. Over the course of time (and 2-3 applications a week) my strawberry blonde went all the way to 'Nordic Blonde' without my mom ever remarking about it. Then, in the winter of 1983 I decided that I needed a perm.

***Cue axe-murderer music here***

The stylist asked what I'd used to bleach my hair and I told her of my great Plum experiment. Was it her fault that she just accepted what I'd said? No. I didn't hold any of what transpired against her. It was my own misguided attempt at fashion. God had given me a "Wild" card for my hair and I had overplayed it.......

She wrapped my hair on the perm rods and applied the solution. It stunk, but all perms stink. When the 20 minute processing time was over, she took me back to the sink to rinse it out. I heard a couple of "plinks" as some of the rods slipped out of my hair and I happened to open my eyes to see the stylist gasp as the color ran out of her face. She stopped the water and ran to get help.

When the older woman (the manager, I'm guessing) came over to the sink she shook her head in an "I've seen THIS before" way. She put a stopper in the drain and started filling the basin up with water. She questioned me about the chemicals on my head much like Torquemada of the Spanish Inquisition. Under that kind of stress, naturally I broke down like an AMC Gremlin and admitted what I'd been doing to myself. She then explained the damage I'd been doing to my hair and how the perm process does not react well to Sun-In. She then went on further to say that the "plinks" I'd been hearing had indeed been the rollers falling off of my head. However, MY HAIR WAS STILL WRAPPED AROUND THEM.

They did the best that they could, of course, but the Sun-In had broken down the proteins in my hair so badly that once the perm solution opened the cuticle, there was nothing left to the hairstrand. I lost all of the rollers on my head save for the three in the very front. I guess that that was God's way of showing a little mercy to the stupidity of (wo)man.

I left the salon with a bald head (perfect for a northern Iowa great plains winter!), bangs resembling an exploded Q-Tip, and a note to my mother stating that I hadn't gone into the salon asking for this particular outcome.

Oh yeah, I was grounded.

This BlogBlast is sponsored by Harper Collins and the new beauty guide by Nadine Haobsh, "Beauty Confidential". ( http://www.beautyconfidentialthebook.com).

What's YOUR beauty don't? Share it with the world, link the above sites, and you might be a winner!

From the Depths of Hell Week

2007-09-28T12:16:00.000-04:00

Ah, mighty Hell Week...... How you make me want to throw in the towel and never go onstage again.....

I will not let you win.

Although I will whine like a toddler that you are kicking my ass this week.........

Since only two or three people out there ever read my blog (and I have a pretty good idea who you are), you know what I'm talking about. We've had rehearsals for the past two weeks from 6pm to 11pm Monday thru Friday. -Well except for last night and tonight. The call is at 5:30 (until 11pm).

Last weekend our town had a little 'founder's festival' kind of thing, so we had a float in the (three block) parade and a booth on the street. --I was in the booth from noon until 5 on Saturday. I did the parade the past two years and it's not worth my losing my Saturday morning to. Sunday, we had a tea with Belle and the enchanted objects from the castle. I left church early (hoping that God would understand) so that I could sell tickets to the show from noon until 5-ish.

In my spare time, I've been calling around for ushers and soliciting ad's from local businesses for the program.

Oh, and did I mention that our church had a Mass for Breast Cancer victims and caregivers this past Tuesday? I also sang for that (I came to play practice late).

And I managed to work a 42-hour week this week.

I hate to say this, but I'm too old for this shit. Sure, I used to work a 45-hour work week (as a hairstylist/salon manager, no less) and spend my evenings (every night-I kid you not) in bars and nightclubs --never getting home until 3am at the earliest-- but how the hell did I do it?

Dang it! I NEVER should have given up drinking!!

Settling.....

2007-08-16T10:05:00.000-04:00

I swear to God that's the story of my life. Settling. I want the best, but I settle for what I can afford.

Case in point....
The home computer died the other month. Hubbie and I decided that we were tired of Microsoft and wanted to get an operating system that wasn't so retarded. We wanted a Mac. We saved our money, we hoped, we dreamed.....

Then the water pump went out on the old car (Sherwood). Since Pip will need this to get to and from school (occasionally -- sometimes Hubbie needs it to drive into work), we needed to get it fixed. (($457))

Followed by the State of Ohio letting us know that we'd figured our taxes wrong and needed to cut them a check by the 20th for $89.

There went everything we'd saved for the new computer.

So we settled. We went to Best Buy and bought the cheapest thing we could find. I'm sure that the technology in it is long outdated, but at least it has that new, "Vista" operating system.

In case you're curious -- it sucks.

But now I can pay my bills and balance my checkbook at home again. I suppose that that's a plus.

I don't mean to sound whiny or spoiled. We have a roof over our heads, we eat 3 meals a day (not provided by the government), and from time to time we are actually able to go out and have a little fun. I'm just getting SO friggin' tired of having to settle for second best! (...or third... or that stupid Vista thing...)

We're back to saving for the Mac again, but it's a lot harder when Pip is with us. Especially since the Senior Portrait Industry is just NOT set up for shared children. (Seriously! It's cheaper for each household to buy their own package than it is to split a larger one since they don't allow you to substitute another friggin' 8 x 10 for a useless set of wallets!)

I don't suppose that I could get Pip to settle for a nice picture taken with my cell phone?

I Have the Best Friend -- EVER!!

2007-08-03T08:36:00.001-04:00

So I got home from work last night and brought in the mail.

There was a padded manilla envelope shoved into the mailbox, but I didn't think much of it. My husband is CONSTANTLY buying books and stuff online and I'm generally bringing one or two of these in a week anyway.

I put it on the counter where he could find it when he got home and sorted through the rest of the junk mail, bills, and college info (Pip gets TONS of "Look at us!" college shit weekly). When I turned back to put the bills in our inbox, I noticed the writing on the package looked suspiciously like Kimba's writing. I looked closer and it was! The envelope was for me!

I tore into the package like Rosie O'Donnell tearing into a package of Ring-Dings and there it was-- an iPod Shuffle. I read the note enclosed. Since she already had a Nano and I was still saving my duckets to buy one of my own, she sent me the Shuffle!

But wait!! It gets better!!!

She charged it and put some songs on it for me!!!!

Thank You Kimba!!!!!! You're the best friend EVER!!!

Be Our Guest!

2007-08-01T14:14:00.000-04:00

I can hardly believe it.

Somehow I made it into the local community theater's next production, "Beauty and the Beast". This surprises the hell out of me because I didn't really prepare well for auditions. --I suppose that's what happens when you work full time, are involved with outside the home activities, and don't want to keep your husband up past midnight as you hammer away at music (our apartment is tiny, so even if you're in the next room, you're only 12 feet away from each other). I almost didn't waste the director's time, but changed my mind in the 9th hour.

No, not the 11th hour. That would have been rude.

I'm just in the chorus, but I kind of like it that way. You get more stage-time.

Just thought I'd share...

The Secret's Out

2007-07-26T13:58:00.000-04:00

I am the only full-time employee in my office. That's right, the only one here 8 hours a day, five days a week.

What that means in the medical office community is that I have to be able to learn (or at least sound intelligent about) a lot of various stuff.

Some of it is easy. Any one of us can handle routine med refills. I can give you an excuse slip for work. I can set you up an appointment to see a doctor and explain the basics of the nuclear stress test, echocardiogram, and heart catheterization. I handle all med records (scanning in, indexing, and entering in the computer --hooray for Electronic Health Records!!) in my office.

Some of it is a little more difficult. Reading doctor's handwriting, getting prior authorization from insurance companies (medical and prescription) for testing and meds, determining who gets an office visit and who is directed to the E/R for their chest pain, knowing which ICD-9 code will allow what kind of visit/lab/medication, and which ekg strips faxed from the event monitoring company need a doctor's review ASAP and which ones are safe to wait for my RN to address when she comes in.

I have had to learn what exactly is going on during the stress test and how the chemicals affect patients simply because they ask me questions and it seems kind of foolish to say, "I don't know, I just answer phones and collect copays. --Do you have that $20 with you or would you like me to bill you for it?"

I learned how to hook patients up to a holter monitor because when the primary docs from downstairs call for one it seems ridiculous to tell them that no one here can do it. --Not to mention that it's bad for business. So I learned to hook up and download holter monitors.

I'm not complaining. I'd rather be busy at work than waiting around trying to make my mental powers force the clock hands to move.

The one thing I've learned in life is that if you act like you know what you're doing, the general public will assume that you do.

So then today I get a call from our home office. It seems that the images from the nuclear stress tests that we did on Tuesday didn't load onto the server like they should have and would it be possible for me to re-load them and send them over to be viewed?

Apparently I give the impression that I'm secretly a Certified Nuclear Medicine Technologist.

Perhaps I should tone down the confidence a little, eh??

Just to Catch Everyone Up...

2007-07-20T14:05:00.000-04:00

I suppose that I should start this by mentioning that our home computer's motherboard blew up the other week and I'm limited to when I can update this site. Somehow "The Man" just doesn't feel that blogging is an appropriate way to spend company time. I'd like to point out to "The Man" that as blogging is life and I feel like I sacrifice enough of my life to the workweek, it seems only logical that blog-time should include work time, but I value my paycheck too much to split hairs with the guy who signs them.

So, anyway...
The show went as well as it could, really. It's the sappiest Rodgers and Hammerstein out there! I mean with lyrics like: "Our state fair is the best state fair in our state" you can't expect the bar raised THAT high, now can you? Naturally, I totally kicked ass as a drunk pickles and mincemeat judge. Who'd have thunk that, eh?? The best thing about small community theater is the people you work with, and these people were some of the best. No one was too important to help schlep set pieces and/or props on and off the stage or to help with backstage costume changes.

I got to hang out with the "young adult" portion of the cast and found out that while I really enjoy hanging out with them, they tend to talk about themselves a lot. I guess that it's to be expected as they're still in college or have just graduated and don't know much else. I wanted to point out to them that they didn't even REALLY know themselves at this point in their lives, but it's such better lesson when you learn it yourself!

Besides, then I would have had to start hanging out with the 'parents'. Those people are no fun. (Just kidding- Inge, Tom, and Karen!!)

This weekend is auditions for "Beauty and the Beast". Yeah, I'm working on an audition piece in my spare time even though I don't really think that there's a part in it for me. There aren't any drunks -although I was told that there's a feather duster who's a little coquettish. (I only ever get cast as floozies and drunks...) I just can't picture myself in feathers.....

Well, time to get back to "The Man's" work.

Damn The Man!

24 Hours from Now

2007-07-12T08:56:00.000-04:00

24 hours from now (if everything goes right and the cats aren't being too needy) I will be waking up and leisurely getting into the shower.

I'm actually taking a day off for the sake of taking time off.

This goes against EVERYTHING my parents EVER taught me about being a responsible, working adult. I know that they meant well and that they felt it was important to impress upon me their proud, German work ethic, but let me tell you --all work and no play makes Jill a friggin' bitch to hang around!

It's my own dang fault, I guess.

I get paid vacation and sick time, but I'm always scared to use it. I mean, what if I'm in a horrible accident and need to take 3 weeks off of work? Sure, short-term disability will kick in after 2 weeks, but what if I use up all of my paid time off on something frivolous first? I can't go two weeks without a paycheck.

So I go to work every day, get my 40 hours + every week and slowly my patience and sanity ebb away....

...but not this week!

Which is a good thing because opening night for the play I'm in is also tomorrow. (See how the day off and my personal life cross there?)

I mean, I need to rest up for the cast parties.

Priorities, people!

Jumping Off the Cliff of Life

2007-06-20T14:01:00.000-04:00

I kid you not.....

(Not so) little old man in wheelchair is in the office today for his stress test. Due to the fact that he is not able to walk the treadmill, he has had a chemically-induced stress test. So he hasn't had anything to eat since 7am. Now that his "stress" portion is over, he can eat something.

Daughter: "So, Dad, what would you like for lunch?"

Little Old Man: "Oh... can you run over to McDonalds and get me a double cheeseburger and fries?"

I just want to point out that it takes friggin' balls of pure, unadulterated steel to order this kind of lunch in a cardiology office. It's kind of like setting up the grand altar of Satan in the nave of the Catholic church, don't you think?

I hope he's not too surprized when his results come back and show that he needs a heart cath.

PS--Because I'm THAT good of a front office person, I explain to the patients when they schedule that they'll have a 6 hour fast prior to their test and that generally it takes 2-3 hours to complete. I further explain that should this seem like too long to go without eating, they may bring a snack to tide them over. Usually, people bring peanut butter/crackers.

I think that they're afraid of the lightning bolt that will hit them should they think of bringing anything else.

The Summer is Set to Begin!

2007-06-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

Ahhhh......

That time of year again.

The blessed time of year when we are temporarily childless. That glorious time of year when I can shower with the doors to the bathroom open, start a load of laundry at 10pm (the washer/dryer are located in a second closet in her bedroom), and eat nothing but salads for dinner!

Of course, we have to get through this week first.

I had play practice on Sunday afterooon, rehearsal for a theater program Sunday night, a meeting for the chorale I perform in last night, play practice tonight, final dress rehearsal for the program tomorrow night, Pip's dance recical on Thursday night, Friday night is the program I've been rehearsing for, and Saturday is a trip to the chiropractor, and a writer's forum I've been invited to.

Also-- Pip flies out on Saturday.

Her week goes like this: Dance recital practice this past Saturday afternoon, laundry/packing Sunday, dance rehearsal last night, date with boyfriend tonight, dress rehearsal for dance recital tomorrow night, dance recital Thursday night, date with Daddy Friday afternoon, date with boyfriend Friday night, flying to her mother's house on Saturday.

And from there, the summer will whiz on by and I'll be blogging that her return is just around the corner and I haven't even set up her senior pictures yet.

My Oma always told me that the reason that old people drive so slowly is that as you age, time speeds up and it's physically impossible to drive faster than 25mph when your life is flashing before your eyes.

I'm beginning to believe her.