I should know better

2009-11-11T18:43:00.001Z

Allegra -

"I was simply wonderful! Talk to the tongue - the ears ain`t listening...."

OF ALLEGRA AND BRAD PITT

2009-11-11T11:21:00.003Z

Blanche, despite the efforts of her mother, has found a lovely new home.

I had been contacted by a lady in a remote little hamlet away to the south - the sort of place that was known as a one horse town until the horse died - and a country life is always good for a Papillon. So yesterday off we went.

I had decided to take Blanche and her parents, to give some idea of what she might grow up to be. Blanche has taken strongly after her father, so Merlin went too. I just hoped he would behave. Mother Allegra, I thought, would be friendly and lively (if bald), and would charm everyone.

Blanche`s prospective owners had just built a new house at one end of the village. In we went, and Blanche behaved beautifully. She projected a quiet and charming image.

Merlin was brought out, and played the perfect gentleman, happy and affectionate to everyone, willing to be picked up and cuddled by strangers and without even a twitch of a hind leg as he walked past the new furniture.

Allegra came barrelling out, hyper (she had hoped the bath meant a show) and rattled around,, engaging her daughter in very physical play and generally giving an impression of Daffy Duck on speed. As the prospective owners watched open mouthed, she gradually slowed down, and eventually strolled casually into the new dining room, where she indulged in a Brad Pitt right in the middle of the rug.

I could have died. What can you say? My friend rushed to clear it up, the owner said the rug was washable and then the conversation spiralled into a black hole. As it would.

Somehow we picked things up, changed the subject, and eventually it was agreed that they would have Blanche, despite the efforts of her mother to gum things up. Blanche was perfectly happy to stay....possibly thinking that at last she would be free of her embarrassing mother.

Allegra came home obviously very pleased with herself. Clearly she and she alone had persuaded these good people to take her daughter. Velvet did not look for her sister, but seemed a little lost.....

And ended up sleeping on the bed. Where she will probably stay.

2009-11-07T10:50:00.000Z

"Nothing can stand against me! And if you think I`m fearsome......"

2009-11-07T10:48:00.001Z

".... just wait till my daughter gets going!"

SLIGHTLY FOXED

2009-11-07T10:26:00.003Z

I usually let Truly out last thing at night, after all the others are in bed, and she doesn`t stay out away from her not so little girl too long.

But last night after a few minutes a storm of barking, growling and other horrendous Swedish cursing broke out. Merlin, safe in bed, was insisting that something out there was Very Wrong, Mum, and that I should Do Something.

I couldn`t see why someone would be at the gate so late on. but out I went.....

And there was Truly, facing up to a really enormous fox. Drawn up to her full height of nine and a half inches at the shoulder, she was telling it loudly and clearly that it had no right to live, and when she had killed it, she would be feeding it to her puppy.

The fox was.....well, a bit foxed by it all. You could see him thinking: "It looks like a dog, it smells like a dog, it sounds like a dog - but I do eat things that size....."

I got her in quickly, and got the look I know well that says "I brought it to bay for you - now you kill it!"

I went up to the fox, which showed no inclination to leg it. But after some persuasion it headed off behind the coal into the thicket down by the burn, from which came sounds of crunching. So it already had a meal.....fortunately not Truly.

She was already in bed with her fat daughter, telling her all about how she had vanquished a giant predator, and how when she was older, she would be taught how to do the same. And then they could go hunting together.....

Be afraid, Godzilla. Be very afraid.

2009-11-06T17:30:00.001Z

The local bus...decorated by someone who needs to read a lot less Harry Potter and definitely get out more...

UNCLEAN

2009-11-06T17:19:00.002Z

The hype about Swine Flu hits new heights every day, and by now everyone locally equates it with bubonic plague and The End Of The World As We Know It.

This weather does not agree with my well-known chest weakness, and the other day I was coughing my way merrily home on the local bus, a gaudily painted affair clearly decorated by someone who needs to read less Harry Potter and definitely get out more. A young woman sitting behind me announced to the general public that it was a scandal to allow me to sit there infecting everyone with Swine Flu.....

Wet winter days do not bring out the best in me, and before the other passengers could have a whip round for the stake, faggots and tar barrels, I heard myself suggesting that my accuser was by the look of her probably herself harbouring quite a few diseases that she would be happy to pass on.

Silence. Which lasted till I got off.

Really, I shouldn`t be allowed.

But circumstances change. Last night I ate beans.

And today I concede that on the bus I was nobody`s friend.

2009-10-31T21:27:00.001Z

"Of course she is perfect! She is mine!"

2009-10-31T21:21:00.001Z

"She was worth it all"

IT`S RAINING GIRLS

2009-10-31T21:01:00.003Z

Merlin does it again!

Yesterday, at a very civilised time of day for once, Truly presented us with a little girl, delivered with the usual Swedish efficiency and minimal help from me (apart from a considerable amount of ice cream and encouragement to "push harder, dear".) The new arrival took only a few seconds to find the milk supply and latch on.

Yes, another Merlin daughter. When informed, he did not reach for the cigars, but a strange blank look came into his eyes, and he looked about nervously for a place to hide . He already spends a lot of time with his two Allegra girls, now entering the "teenage"awkward stage, but clearly it had never occurred to him that these little blessings might just keep on coming.

Truly, on the other hand, is quietly smug.

2009-10-22T12:59:00.000Z

Blanche and Velvet at large

2009-10-22T12:24:00.002Z

Off into the unknown with us - Allegra, Merlin`s 4 daughters and a friendly Border terrier

2009-10-22T12:14:00.002Z

Collision course!

2009-10-22T12:11:00.000Z

Allegra and I had a beautiful walk

2009-10-22T12:08:00.000Z

The lovely autumn landscape we walked over.

OF COATS, AND AUTUMN

2009-10-22T10:46:00.003Z

The puppies were introduced to the wider world last week, as we had a wonderful autumn walk on a nearby farm and estate. They had the company of their half-sisters - Merlin`s older litter.

It was a revelation to them. Blanche decided that she would quite like to play with these older girls, and galloped off after them. Velvet is more of a people dog, and consequently spent a lot of time just avoiding being stepped on. She is the smallest of the four, and soon discovered that running as fast as she could with her little legs just didn`t take her nearly as far as the others, already disappearing into the distance.

Allegra, who accompanied them, was more interested in the farm Border terrier, and kept inspecting her closely eventually accepting her as quite OK for a Notapap.

The autumn colours were beautiful. Quite lost on Allegra, who preferred the attractions of the odd piles of horse manure - indeed, she would have preferred to spend the whole afternoon in the stable, with all those wonderful smells. Mind you, the horses would have to go. She spent quite a lot of time and energy alerting me indignantly to the presence of these huge and totally unacceptable animals, and then waiting expectantly for me to get rid of them.

The puppies were put to bed for a rest and we went on walking, across the farm where my friend rides, and over a nearby estate. Very healthy for me, and for Allegra, who for maternal reasons has not been getting out enough. I am determined to put some muscle on her, and she is very agreeable to that. Also a coat, as she is now bald as a egg - many Pap bitches just throw it all away when they have a litter, and the phrase "in the pink" takes on a whole new meaning when the skin shines through. I keep reminding her that winter is coming and threatening her with one of my big collection of knitted coats left over from my Crested days. (I used to practice my fairisle patterns on them and they are very varied and really tasteful...)

However, my memories of trying to persuade Papillons to wear coats are not good. I had a little dog years ago called Clovis, who developed a mysterious hormonal problem and became bald. I made a coat for him and put it on. He ran and hid in the bushes, and would not come out for anything. I could see him thinking - "If the dogs see me in this they`ll kill me. And if the bitches see me in it, I`ll kill myself."

Allegra`s daughters, however, are not short of coat and well prepared for wind and snow.

Probably much more than I am
i.

2009-10-09T17:54:00.003Z

Allegra, now bald as an egg, puts the girls through their paces. (Sorry about "Hancock`s Half Hour" in the background.)

2009-10-09T17:49:00.000Z

Velvet, looking very smug indeed

2009-10-09T16:58:00.000Z

Blanche, somewhat ear challenged but still doing cute really well

CAR BOOT

2009-10-09T16:33:00.003Z

Recovering as the show year winds down - only a few to go and mercifully those are indoors. Our championship shows are mostly outdoors, which is fine if the weather suits, but really I feel the autumn cut off point for showing outside should be brought forward.

The last outdoor show of the year is always a bit dodgy as to weather, and this year we had a sunny cold windy day, just fine for a brisk walk with the dogs....miserable if you were stationary at the ringside. People huddled together for warmth and the more enterprising ones bought dog blankets from the stalls to shiver under. I coughed all the way through it, and have coughed ever since.

Wind usually makes the dogs a bit more lively - not what Merlin needs, as his little spring is already wound up tight and only the sudden appearance at the ringside of a willing and ready Pap lady could make him more distracted. As it was he had to cope with Tibetans in the next ring which definitely needed An Eye kept on them. As I wrestled with his nanosecond attention span, another problem arose. I use vocal cues in the ring. Alas, the little dog next to us was also called "Merlin". Two very puzzled little dogs looked back and forth in confusion. "How does that strange woman know my name?"

It was the second unsettling moment for Merlin in as many weeks.

We had gone to Belfast as foot passengers, and as we were carrying the dogs to the boat, a kind person offered to take them over in their car. So there was Merlin, being handed over at midnight to a stranger in a car park, and being put in a strange car. He was far from happy. It was clear to him that I was fulfilling the threat I make to all of them when they annoy me. At last he was really being sold in a car boot sale.

When I got him back at the other side, it was clear that his relief was tempered with confusion. He was glad to see me - but did this mean that he had not only been sold, but had been returned as unsatisfactory goods? It`s tough, being Merlin.

Truly on the other hand, is well and truly expecting - maybe 3, according to the scan - and is eating relentlessly with Scandinavian efficiency.

The puppies are full of it, and driving their mother to try to exhaust them in order to get a rest. Allegra is really good at that. Velvet is very confiding, and cute Blanche is still hoping for a good home.

2009-09-30T10:40:00.000Z

Blanche and Velvet do cute

WINTER DRAWS ON

2009-09-30T10:15:00.003Z

Well, a slow slide into Autumn here, with days of grey drizzle and just a few falling leaves. As usual I dread the winter to follow, especially as the BBC has declared it will be a mild one - and we all know what that means....snow up to our knees.

Had my usual day of cleaning out the coal heating stove, involving intimate and filthy exploration of its side and back passages with a variety of tools collected over the years. (I find a bent barbecue fork very useful) . Came away looking like a miner coming off shift, but congratulating myself that -

(a) there wasn`t a dead bird up there (the ultimate disaster),
(b) I didn`t have to take the huge cast iron flue cap off with the big hex wrench,
(c) I had the foresight to shut the puppies up first.

There has been a succession of very forgettable shows - good company, but judges who liked reds, long noses, lunch as soon as possible and so on. We always seem to be on the last day too, when the ring smells delectably of all the large ladies who have been there on the previous days, making Merlin very distracted.

Truly may have enrolled in the pudding club......she certainly thinks she has, and is treating other bitches accordingly, leading to a certain amount of discord. (Let`s be honest here - she is very free with her teeth, and the others are reacting accordingly. For a little girl who is all adorable sweetness with people, she has an alarming lack of ability to fit in with other Papillons, and a very exaggerated opinion of her ability to dominate them. ) I am keeping her carefully separate.

Puppies are growing like weeds. Allegra`s strenuous workouts are giving them muscles like weightlifters, and they are very active and more cute than anything has a right to be. I realise that I will shortly be looking for a nice pet home for Blanche, whose decorator short changed her a bit. She is a sweetie, and should make someone very happy.

2009-09-12T15:51:00.003Z

Allegra gives Velvet and Blanche a power workout......

PUPPY POWER

2009-09-12T15:23:00.002Z

Allegra`s puppies are thriving. They have at last found names - Blanche and Velvet - and discovered how well tiny teeth fit into my ankles. They are at the perennially underfoot stage, and when I walk I have to adopt a strange gait known as "the puppy shuffle" to avoid squashed Papillon.

Allegra doesn`t so much believe in playing with them as in giving them a good strenuous workout, and I think very healthy puppies will be the result, probably with muscles like Arnie.

COMMENTS

2009-09-01T14:21:00.002Z

I have not liked the way comments on the last post have been going while I was away showing this last weekend. If you want to make snide gibes, this is not the place to do it. I am the queen of this particular castle, and while I don`t mind you taking me on ( for I am more than a match for you), I will not have third parties attacked here.

Accordingly comments have been disabled for now, and when they return they will be moderated, which will put an end to any nonsense.