M i x e d M e s s a g e s

Something New

2006-09-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hey, so how have you been? Good here, and despite my absence online I’ve been thinking of my lovely blog friends. Hope you are well.

With the start of the school year, I’m giving some new projects a try including another blog. It’s a bit more frivolous and fun, with a fashion and beauty theme. I collect images and ideas that inspire a stylish yet accessible look.

You can visit Style Notebook (<---that's a link) if that sort of thing interests you. I’ll be updating daily on weekdays. Perhaps I'll be back here too--we'll see.

Seemingly Trivial

2006-06-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

As I write this, the bones of my face ache and a pile of tissues grows bigger—allergies gone mad. It might be the raging wind outside. I see the trees being pushed around violently. Yet, I feel compelled to post something here because it has been a long time.

This is one of those phases every blogger seems to go through at various intervals, where you wonder if you want to keep doing it or not. Some of the reasons why I started writing here no longer apply. Life seems full with other activities.

I decide to do what often gives interesting results when I’m wondering about something. I’ll open a book randomly and whatever page I turn to will offer a message about the question at hand. Q: What about this blogging thing?

Here is the section that my fingers point to: “There is no act, no matter how seemingly trivial, that does not add to and consequently influence the whole…Nothing that is done is ever wasted or without effect on life. Nothing is ever so insignificant as to be unimportant. Everything in life matters and ultimately has a place, an impact, and a meaning.”

That makes me feel better somehow. At least I haven’t been wasting time, right? And if I go forward, it will mean something, at least to me, if not a few lovely readers. This reminds me of a William James quote: "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."

Anyway, hope you are enjoying your summer.

I Am Someone Who

2006-06-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

…just attended a preschool graduation, where students wore cap and gowns as they marched down the church aisle to “Pomp and Circumstance" then sang songs to the audience...

...and a first grade Carnival at the park

...and is happy that summer break starts at 12:40 p.m. tomorrow.

…is starting physical therapy for my back after six months of chiropractor visits (that have helped some but not enough).

…is behind on a lot of things but I’m catching up.

…just learned that my in-laws and niece are staying here this weekend.

…is making Chicken With Red pepper Cream Sauce for dinner in 45 minutes

…would love a nap.

…has two birthday parties to attend this weekend.

…hears a big mess being created in the next room (but at least there is no bickering).

…read some trashy gossip magazines this afternoon at the salon while the girls got haircuts and ate much candy

…has to wear a bathing suit in public in twelve days and really doesn’t care enough.

Recently…

2006-05-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

I have made excellent Lemon Drop martinis. They were a big hit at a dinner party.

I have been told that my brother-in-law received a new liver and is now recovering, post-transplant!

I have purchased a bunch of art supplies—what fun—to work on my art journaling class.

I have played numerous games of Uno with my five year-old and seven-year-old.

I have seen my own writing in our newspaper. A book review for an exercise book that I wrote in December was finally printed today.

I have visited my dad’s new home, about two hours away.

I have listened to Buddy Guy sing the blues. My husband is playing the CD downstairs right now.

I have watched What Not To Wear while exercising on our ellipse machine.

I have eaten an In- n- Out cheeseburger.

Update

2006-05-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

1. I’ve been keeping very busy lately with house and personal projects, and an art-journaling class that I’m taking. The class is so fun and offers a new twist to my writing. Letting my amateur artist out to play is a kick. Fortunately the girls have lot of art supplies, so I don’t go crazy getting all the great stuff in the art stores and catalogs.

2. The mug in front of me contains coffee, not tea. I’m determined that my crappy sleeping will not affect my days. At least til I crash this afternoon.

3. I scared myself walking in the hall, seeing my reflection in the mirror. I had forgotten that I grabbed two of the girls’little bright colored barrettes from the kitchen to hold my hair out of my eyes as I write. Thank God I didn’t answer the door like that.

4. We are having a new recipe for dinner tonight that I found at allrecipes.com. I needed a new chicken breast recipe, and Amy’s Garlic Egg Chicken apparently is in their Hall of Fame. It’s been marinating all night. We’ll see.

5. I’ve been informed that there are only 8 days left of preschool and 19 of first grade. What?? I’m actually looking forward to lots of time with the girls this summer but I just can’t believe that we will NEVER go to Noah’s Ark (the preschool) again and that J. will move up to the big-kiddedness of 2nd grade. You just gotta enjoy each stage, with its perks and its challenges, because the days pass by so quickly.

6. Doesn’t it seem like every TV show’s season finale is having someone die? Is there no other way to be interesting or dramatic? Maybe there isn’t, it just seems pervasive.

7. The weather has been sunny and lovely here lately, and now RAIN is actually predicted for Saturday when we are entertaining another family. Drat. I’ll just have to make some good cocktails to keep everything cheerful as the kids are all indoors.

On Writing

2006-05-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some quotes about writing that I like. Do you have any favorites you’d like to add?

There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously.
--Thomas Sowell

Writing is like anything else. You fail, you pick yourself up, and you try again. When you’re discouraged, you eat ice cream.
--Anna Quindlen

"The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe."
--David Hare

"Learn to write about the ordinary. Give homage to old coffee cups, sparrows, city buses, thin ham sandwiches. Make a list of everything ordinary you can think of. Keep adding to it. Promise yourself, before you leave the earth, to mention everything on your list at least once in a poem, short story, newspaper article."
--Natalie Goldberg

"One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a better place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now."
--Annie Dillard

"You have to allow yourself the liberty of writing poorly. You have to get the bulk of it done, and then you start to refine it. You have to put down less than marvelous material just to keep going to whatever you think the end is going to be—which may be something else altogether by the time you get there."
--Larry Gelbart, scriptwriter

“You just sit down and write everyday for three or four hours. You do it like piano scales until you have a story to tell.”
--Anne Lamott

It’s Not Unusual (To Be Loved By Anyone)

2006-05-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

The theme today actually IS unusual—that is, what’s unusual about me. I just can’t say the word “unusual” without singing the Tom Jones song. Anyway, this meme came from Emily of Mad Mommy Chronicles. The idea is to share six weird or interesting facts about yourself. Hmmm….only six?

1. I have shot a gun, as a child. I recall the backfire practically knocking me down.

2. In high school, I swam against the then-current (1984) Olympic gold medalist in my event because she was on a rival high school’s team. Guess who won.

3. My sisters are twins and I was terrified that I would have twins myself. The fear was compounded when it turned out that we had to seek fertility treatment.

4. I passed a lie detector test (while lying), which was part of the hiring process for a summer job. A few years later I received a check for $820 out of the blue, as part of a class action settlement against that employer, who used lie detector tests for hiring and promoting.

5. Although I made the dean’s list in college several times and graduated with honors, I really don’t think I’m that smart or articulate. When I excelled at work, I also thought it was not that great of an accomplishment—that I’m really a fraud.

6. My husband was my college roommate during my senior year. We, uh, liked each other pretty much right away despite the fact that I had a long term boyfriend back home.

If you want to share a weird fact or two about yourself, I’m listening…

If Purchases Can Tell You about a Person…

2006-04-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a peek into my life via recent $pending:

* You know how you start to think that you’re done setting up or decorating an area of your house and then you realize you’re actually not? We moved around a couple of things in our living room, which necessitated the purchase of one more plum colored silk pillow and a picture (have to type in item 072451B in the search box to see it) for one of the walls. The artwork has the perfect colors for the room and is just the sort of style that fits. Too bad I have to wait 4-6 weeks for the order to arrive at the store for pickup. But I can be patient (I think).

* Dinner for four at the E-Bar, one of the handful of family friendly restaurants in our weekend rotation where we can all be reasonably pleased. Then Safeway afterward to pickup cookie dough ice cream for the kids (ok, I had two bites straight from the container) and eggs for the next day’s breakfast.

* This dress at Nordstroms and a skirt that I just surprisingly discovered is the same brand. Am I that predictable?

* Another batch of “wiggle eyes” from Michael’s Arts & Crafts store because the girls need more. They have glued the little plastic eyes (like the ones on these glasses, so you can understand what the hell I’m talking about) on everything they own and are excited to try larger sized eyes now. So I obliged with a combo pack of various eye sizes, because who am I to stifle their craziness?

* The search for new swimwear started early this year for me as I am determined to find something cute and as flattering as possible for a mid-thirty something woman. I have ordered and returned, and tried on and returned numerous possibilities. I now own two suits that I feel pretty good about (an Ann Cole tankini and one from Athleta, seen in part here and here). That’s what a planned beach trip without of town friends forces you to do.

* Gifts for one of my best college friends, who just had her first baby (a girl, Charlotte). So fun to shop for cute baby things.

* Momentum on the garage purging and organizing is building. After viewing the Home Depot’s Sunday ad flier, we went there to get a Stanley cabinet base and drawer base at sale prices. It will really help organize a certain area of the garage that is a junky mess right now. And K. is excited about it now too, enough to spend an afternoon assembling the purchases.

* Next up: monthly subscription for HBO and Showtime so that we can continue to watch The Sopranos and Weeds (a hilarious show about a suburban mom pot dealer).

What was your most recent purchase?

Because I'm Feeling Juvenile and Profane

2006-04-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Tired of regular emoticons? How about some "assicons" I found:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

Good Things

2006-04-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

*We sold my old car. The buyer was kind of a pain in the ass and he just sent us an $88 bill for the smog check (which, according to the CA DMV, is our responsibility—but I’ve never spent that much getting smog checks before). Whatever. That car is gone!

*The Sopranos. I think we may have to pay for HBO after our free trial period ends, just for that show. Half the fun is reading the Television Without Pity discussion boards online following each episode. So many brilliant people talking about the characters and the symbolism and subtext.

*I’ve practically eliminated any sinus congestion by giving up all milk and soy milk for the last month. This is good, but it’s making coffee drinking very difficult, which is why I haven’t had any of that either. Green tea is fine. Sometimes you just want the weight and creaminess of a milk based warm drink though. Victory for my health prevails for now.

*I booked a suite vs. a regular room (a splurge) for our June trip to the beach, which means that instead of a room with two queens that we share with the girls, we get our own king bed and they get a little separate room with their own queen sofa bed and TV. This may be the first vacation where I actually get some rest. (Although maybe not since we're going with some friends from out of state who have three boys under age 6).

*A short week of school, as Friday starts our spring break. No big plans but without the morning rush or homework, it’s got to be good.

*I received an honorable mention for am essay I submitted (and kind of forgot about) to a Byline magazine contest. Just when I was backing off most of my writing goals.

*The dark red mini roses that I bought for $4.99 are so lovely, sitting on our kitchen table. Another reminder that inexpensive things can bring a lot of joy to daily life.

Ctrl + V Game

2006-04-03T06:09:00.000-07:00

I'm really tired (too old to be staying out til 2:00am on weekends plus daylight savings time's new morning wakeup time stinks, you get the drift...) so let's just play a game today, ok?

Here's what you do: For your comment to this post, simply (1) press Ctrl + V and (2) explain what you just pasted.

For example, when I press Ctrl + V, I get "No More Kissing." This is the title of a children's book that I was pasting into my library's online system.

How about you?

On This Day

2006-03-27T07:01:00.000-08:00

Thirteen years ago today, we got married. I don't know if that’s a paper or a wood or a crockpot anniversary. Well, I just looked it up and it’s lace.

We celebrated with some delicious food at Lalime’s, an all organic and ecologically sound restaurant (what else would it be in Berkeley?) where K. had a fabulous business dinner recently. We started with drinks—I couldn’t decide on my wine choice so the waitress gave me some of each to taste, actually a generous taste of each, so that was nice—and dungeness crab cakes with green chile aioli. Next was artichoke soup with toasted pinenuts and lemon cream. Then we split a caesar salad. For entrees, K. had rack of lamb on pearl couscous with preserved lemon and chermoula (whatever the hell chermoula is, but his lamb tasted delicious), and I had grilled liberty duck breast with citrus braised fennel and barley.

Later we drove over to The Claremont Resort, where the bar was standing room only, so we headed to the restaurant for dessert instead. At a table in the very back looking out a large window to a view of the San Francisco Bay and city skyline, we shared vanilla crème brulee topped with fresh berries.

Better than a gift of lace I’d say.

Yield For Best Results

2006-03-20T06:00:00.000-08:00

The moment I truly accept a situation, things change for the better.

It amazes me—like when I make up my mind to stop being bummed about the amount of homework J. brings home from school and then out of the blue, we get a free week with no homework. Or when I resolve to no longer care about that annoying woman at the preschool and then I find myself having a nice conversation with her. Or I decide to live with my current weight, #*!% it, and then a few pounds come off easily.

This “technique” works with absurd things too, apparently. Walking partly down our driveway the other day, my eye caught a flash of bright pink through the trees, over at our neighbor’s. A sick feeling washed over me as I processed what I was seeing: a plastic flamingo yard decoration. Oh Keri, I thought. What have you done?

Well, she has two small children. Maybe they’d like that sort of thing. I began to accept the situation. Just live with it.

Then the girls and I got into the car, backed out and started past the neighbor's house. We noticed there was more than one pink flamingo. A lot of pink flamingos actually—maybe twenty. I cringed involuntarily.

But ok, whatever. It is what it is.

At that very moment—the instant of surrender—I saw a sign. A literal sign, like the kind a realtor sticks in the lawn at the front of a house. It read, “You’ve been flocked.” Courtesy of XYZ church. Oh…it’s a joke. Our neighbors are not really insane (they seem so nice, it never made sense really).

Today, as I look out the window, the flamingos are gone.

You Can Rain on My Parade, I’m Still Having Fun

2006-03-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

How was your weekend? I actually have a good answer to that question for a change. I got a new car!

It’s an Acura MDX in a new color called steel blue metallic:

We were going to buy used like we normally do, but we found a dealership that had such an excellent price for a new one that we ordered it through them. Right in the middle of some freak weather here in northern CA (days of heavy rain and hail) the vehicle finally arrived for us to go pick up. Thank God we bought the all-season floor mats.

It was a pleasant experience as far as car buying goes: A very nice staff who made the process practically painless; a children’s section where the girls had their own sofas, stuffed animals, wall sized chalk board with a basket full of colored chalk, a TV/VCR, games, a table with built-in toys—shall I go on? The staff kept checking with them as to whether they’d like some hot chocolate (which they actually don't even like, but they did enjoy using the water cooler very much); even a beautiful bathroom stocked with all kinds of lotions, mouthwashes and such.

Maybe this is normal? I don’t know. I’m thinking it may have something to do with the fact that we drove over to Marin County, an area known (as described in Wikipedia) “for its stunning natural beauty, liberal politics and extreme affluence.” During our lesson about the car and its features, the guy showed what he likes to think of as the french fry holder section, but pointed out that past customers had corrected him that it was “for trail mix”. I guess Marin County kids don’t do McDonald’s.

Perhaps the most useful tip during the training session, our helper showed me how to use the XM satellite radio that comes free for three months. He mentioned that he loves channel 150, which plays continuous (uncensored) stand up comedy. He said he gets strange looks from other drivers as he’s cracking up driving to work. I had a chance to drive alone yesterday and I must say, I too found myself violently laughing at times, probably freaking out my neighbors as I pulled up my street. Yes, these are good times.

When First Graders Rule

2006-03-06T06:05:00.000-08:00

While J. was home last week with pneumonia she was still required to do a ludicrous amount of schoolwork—the regular, heavy homework load plus whatever the kids did during class time. One of the assignments was to create a book about what it would be like if she were president. Here are three sample pages:

(In case you can’t see, it’s a boy tattling, “She hit me,” with a girl smiling in the background because she knows Santa will bring her toys even if she’s bad.)

(A person saying, “I’m cold,” and a girl handing him a blanket.)

From this selection, the pet turtle a wild card, I’d say her future political affiliation is up in the air at this point.

P.S. She and her little sister (who also had pneumonia) are doing much better now, thanks.

Random Thoughts

2006-02-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

*I’m always pleasantly surprised when Hollywood types are actually educated or have interesting abilities. I just read that actress Kate Beckinsale is fluent in German, French and Russian.

*I cannot keep the spellings and pronunciations of Sudoku (the numbers game in the newspaper I play almost daily) and Santoku (the knife we gave K.’s sister and her husband for Christmas) straight in my mind.

*Watching the winter Olympics made me want to ski again. And also get in shape. And be athletic.

*The woman on the current Sephora catalog cover seems uniquely beautiful but I couldn’t put my finger on what it is about her. Someone said she has thin lips. Yeah, she does...how interesting—normal, non-puffed lips.

*I miss Dudley Moore. We watched Milo & Otis again, a cat and dog movie that he narrates hilariously. R.I.P., Dudley.

*I love mechanical pencils and have a ton of them around now in many colors. Any cheap thrill in life should be indulged.

*I owe my two best, college friends correspondence. I am so remiss. Does it count that I constantly think of doing it?

*I found out that my older daughter J. (age 7) does not like m & m’s. She actually threw them out. What a concept: not eating candy just because it’s there.

*I just read that banana peels are good for treating splinters. The enzymes in the peel apparently help draw the splinter to the skin’s surface. You apply a small piece of the pulp side of the peel and wear a band aid overnight. Ok then.

Feel free to add a random thought of your own…

Reunited (and it feels so good)

2006-02-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

"One of the most feared expressions in modern times is "The computer is down."
--Norman Augustine

We just returned home from a long weekend in Carmel, CA to find our internet and e-mail connections not working. This is possibly as bad as coming back to a burglarized house, I thought to myself. Of course that is idiotic and completely untrue but that’s how maddening it felt.

K. wasn’t as sympathetic as I wanted him to be, busying himself with checking to be sure that the new satellite TV was operational and then heading outside to mow the grass. We all have our priorities. After unpacking a few things I grabbed the phone and called my friends at Tech Support.

It is so funny to me that the people who answer are clearly in India yet they give you American names as if they are right here in town, assisting locally. “This is John,” my helper today informed me in a thick accent. Yeah, right. Last time it was “Eddie.” I must say, both of these guys were friendly for a change and Eddie had the best sense of humor I’ve ever come across in tech support.

So here I am, online. Whew. Now I can read the 35 e-mails that are so vitally important. And post this message, of course.

May your computer always treat you kindly.

Making Fun of My State

2006-02-13T09:13:00.000-08:00

I came across this list at Confused and Amused…

You know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember .. is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

Birthday Season is (Almost) Over

2006-02-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

Freedom is close at hand.

K.’s early January birthday has passed (although the plasma TV is not here yet). The kids’ late December birthdays, for which they have separate parties in mid and late January, have been now fully celebrated. I completed the final thank you notes during our family Superbowl party, after snacking and hand washing of course.

Here are some photos from the birthday parties, which were held at a local pottery studio.

Five-year-old, S.:

Seven-year-old, J.:

All of us:

All that remains—and this is harder than it sounds—is delivering the painted pottery figurines to the birthday guests. To the girls we’ve been able to find on the preschool and elementary schools campuses, we have handed off their masterpieces. For the elusive girls, I may have to drive around to their houses to drop off their tiny figurines (drat).

An interesting side note: every single parent who has seen their child’s pottery thinks their child’s work is really remarkable. Parents are easily impressed.

Nail Envy

2006-01-30T06:54:00.000-08:00

I have found the manicure that I want on the hands of Nicole Kidman.

If my nails became strong and my cuticles would behave and my polish looked so lovely, things would be right in my world. I am just that easy.

I may have found the ticket, an affordable one no less, in Sally Hansen’s Nail Growth Miracle. It won a Glamour Reader’s Choice Glammy Award, is an Allure Editor’s Choice, and someone online said her thin, bendable nails are now so hard that she hurt her tooth trying to bite them.

I’m also trying to remember to moisturize my raggedy cuticles every night. L’Occitane’s 100% Pure Shea Butter is supposed to be good for rough feet, hands, elbows, knees, even hair. It’s retrieved directly from the fruit of the African shea tree and I’m banking on it’s fabulous abilities.

With nice nails it will be so wonderful, like a good hair day when you can relax and be your most charming self. I'm on my way.

Wedding Faces

2006-01-23T06:55:00.000-08:00

At a luau on our honeymoon, we met another young newlywed couple also from northern California. It became quickly evident to us that their marriage was not going to make it. The guy was just too much of a jerk. She seemed all right and I remember surreptitiously moving my eyes to her as we hung out with them, to gauge her reaction at her groom’s antics. That was almost thirteen years ago, and I believe surely they must be long over.

On weekends I usually scan the wedding and engagement announcements and the accompanying photos. What are the couples’ stories? Which ones are going to make it? Brooke and Gil from San Mateo who both went to UC Davis? Dana and Jason who were married in an outdoor ceremony in Lake Tahoe? Caroline and Eric who welcomed guests from as far away as Dubai, Singapore, Germany and the United Kingdom? Will they successfully juggle their demanding careers as they go forward in marriage (she’s a third year resident in pediatric medicine and he’s an attorney with a Harvard law degree)?

I wish them well, honestly. It would be nice if all of them enjoy long and happy lives together. Statistically though, some won’t.

In the novel The Pursuit of Alice Thrift, Alice comes up with the clever idea of revisiting these couples featured in the papers a year or five or ten later. What would the story be then? Alice says, “I’d enjoy that on a Sunday morning—scanning the wedding announcements stenciled with updates: NOT SPEAKING, DIVORCED, SEPARATED, ANNULLED, CHEATING ON HIM WITH THE POOL-MAINTENANCE GUY, GAVE BIRTH FIVE MONTHS LATER, IN COUNSELING, CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET—any number of interesting developments that reveal the truth about bride and grooms.”

Sometimes I think it’s a lottery, really. Who will get lucky and find the right person to spend their whole life with? To the faces in the newspaper, I say: Be kind to each other. Best wishes and good luck.

If You Ever Want To Bring Someone a Meal

2006-01-16T11:23:00.000-08:00

The best meal of the ones that neighbors brought to our house following the birth of our daughter years ago was a pork tenderloin, cous cous, and a spring salad mix with avocado, tomatoes, pecans and thinly sliced red pepper that’s one of my favorites to this day. The salad dressing, called Jamaica Mistake, is now a staple of mine and others I’ve shared it with. The worst aspect of the team dinner dropoffs was returning empty pans and containers, since I was usually up all night with Miss Colic Baby and couldn’t guarantee a time of day that the cleaned utensils could be picked up or brought back their owners. It’s a wonderful thing when friends or neighbors organize to take care of you though and I did manage to deliver, on stroller walks when I managed to get out of the house, thank you notes with little chocolates to everyone who extended their kindness.

A death in the family is another time when people rally around and provide sustenance for those in shock and sadness. According to recent online group discussion—just so you know—it’s not the best idea to bring a grieving family lasagna. It’s everyone’s “go to” meal under such circumstances. The recipients end up with lasagna for dinner too many times. A deli tray is also not ideal, apparently. While a meat and cheese platter may seem nice, it doesn’t compare to homemade food and it can’t get popped into the freezer, among other comments.

Not to make light of the topic of grieving families, but talking about so many yummy sounding meal ideas and recipes really made me hungry. Someone suggested Saucy Cocktail Meatballs with Cheesy Potato casserole, and to add a pan of brownies and maybe a vegetable dish. There was mention of Macaroni and Cheese “kicked up a notch with some nice cheese”—that being sharp white cheddar cheese and Gruyère. A Layered Salad that people rave about wanting to know what kind of dressing was on it (“I had to side step a lot to keep from saying just mayonnaise, sugar, and pepper,” the salad provider noted.) A Chicken/Artichoke/Olive Casserole. Soups and stews. Brownies, cookies or cake to round things out. I guess comfort food comforts even those of us who don’t really need comforting at the moment.

Here are some tips from those who have been there, either experiencing loss or helping someone getting through it: Entrees that can be frozen are good because a week or two later when all of the fresh food that’s been shared is gone, these items can be pulled out and heated up. Put the food in a disposable dish, or in one you don’t care about seeing again, and tape cooking and freezing directions on top. Paper plates, napkins or beverages are items are helpful for the family to have too. Waiting until the second week or later is also thoughtful, since by then many of the offerings are gone and the family would still appreciate it.

Let’s enjoy delicious food in good times and also share it with others who could use a hand.

P.S. I’d be glad to email recipes of the food mentioned herein if you’re interested.

I Have Discovered

2006-01-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

…a way to get to a live person at my credit card company even though the phone # they give out gives you no options to do so.

…having a fire in the fireplace is worth doing more often (it only took us seven years of living here to do this).

…Frederic Fekkai hair products are worth the price, for me.

…K. does a lot more to help around here than I thought.

…important things need to be handled early in the day, or they lose out.

…a willingness, finally, to deal with my lower back discomfort including proper ergonomics at the computer

…it’s really true that children are just as happy playing with boxes as with any toy you could buy at the store.

…blogging weekly works best for me (there’s lots of other writing going on here too).

…there’s a window of time—I don't know exactly what it is, it just feels right—in which I can let go of a bad purchase and not worry about the wasted money anymore.

…ginger cookies at Andronico’s.

…I no longer have crushes on any celebrities.

…that it’s up to me.

The Decisive Element

2006-01-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

Patience is not one of my strong suits. If the line is busy I’ll dial again two seconds later. When someone tells a rambling story or cannot get to her point soon enough, my head threatens to explode. Unfinished tasks make me crazy.

In the New Year, though, I’m going to mellow out. I’m going to become Assistant District Attorney Ron Carver from Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Even-tempered. Imperturbable.

Since watching re-runs of the show over the last week, I’m in awe of Carver (played by Courtney B. Vance). ADA Carver is no-nonsense, and a stickler for the crucial legal details. He makes witty remarks (“Your client's not insane... he's in love. Maybe it's hard to tell the two apart, but the law can.”). Even more interesting to me though is his demeanor. He is so freaking calm.

I remember nearly hyperventilating when given new, seemingly impossible deadlines at work. But Carver’s case can be falling apart before his eyes, and he’ll quietly and pointedly tell Goren and Ames that the arraignment is in less than two hours and they’d better get him additional evidence right now. Whatever happens though, he’ll handle it to his best ability without any rise in blood pressure or much facial movement.

The only other person I’ve come across like him is J.’s kindergarten teacher from last year. She would speak softly and diffuse any situation almost by magic. She never got ruffled by anything or any person, child or adult. Man, it was cool to behold. We parents were astonished at her powers and often discussed it outside the classroom.

How can I become more serene? What do I need to do?

Since the idiots of the world are not going away, nor will I be granted more than 24 hours per day, that leaves one option: Change my reaction. I don’t know how exactly, but I must become unvexable. I will say to myself (in a sing-songy tone), “You can’t bother me!” I will convince myself that I have plenty of time. I will slow down, calm down, channel Wayne Dyer.

As Goethe said, “"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element… In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated.” That would apply to a personal crisis or situation, probably. I can de-escalate instead of escalate the stress level—my choice. So I am challenged to build up that muscle called patience. Can I put that in the exercise category of my resolutions?

If You Recognize This, We've Been Friends For Awhile Now

2005-12-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

Hope you're enjoying this time of year. I'll be back soon!