Quiskaeya

It's My Birthday & I'm Turning TWO!

2009-12-10T00:56:00.012-05:00

I can't believe today is my baby's birthday! Sniff. Sniff. But he isn't a baby anymore - at least not according to him. He says, "Aya toddlah, Mama!" Can you believe it? He doesn't want me to call him a baby anymore. Pardon me, while I cry for a little bit. Ha - what he doesn't realize (and my secret consolation) is that he will always be my baby. Even when I am 100 and he is 65 he shall be my precious baby boy.

It's amazing the changes that he's been through this year. One change that we are very grateful for is that he hasn't had nearly as many ear infections as he did the year before. Whew! We are definitely glad to be moving past those agonizing months. Even though he's a lot healthier, he's still on the small end for his weight. Of course, strangers must point this out to me and compare his size to another child they know. Gotta love strangers. I just love the look on their face when he opens his mouth to speak. "Oh my. He talks? How old did you say he is again? He talks more than most kids his age." Yeah, dear stranger never judge a kid by his size.

(I love his accent! He's picked up his Mama's island drawl...hehe)

In November he officially moved to the 2 year old room at daycare. He has actually been going to the 2 year old room part-time since the summer, but for state requirements he couldn't fully transition over there until a month before his birthday. He absolutely loves being in the 2 year old room. They have a really neat program and he has learned quite a bit. What I love is that they encourage children to learn at their own pace. Tar has taken to learning like a fish to water and they never hold him back so he doesn't get bored.

See the little girl in the stripped green/blue shirt. These two are inseparable, seriously. She is 4 mos older than Tar so she was moved to the 2 yo room a few months before him. She cried daily after the move, so they ended up putting her back in the 1 yo room (with her parents' approval) and moved the two of them together.

Grandpa (the Hubster's Dad) came all the way from Oregon earlier this week to celebrate Tar's birthday. The two of them are adorable together. Tar follows him around like a cute little puppy dog. The other day Grandpa was using the bathroom and Tar sat outside the closed door waiting for Grandpa to come out. "Grandpa come play. I here Grandpa, wanna go play?" Poor Grandpa can't get away from my lil guy. It's a good thing Grandpa loves every minute of it.

Where's the Media Now?

2009-12-08T10:53:00.006-05:00

If you haven't heard all the buzz or more accurately the roaring sounds by the media over Tiger's cheating escapade, I'd like to know what rock you're living under. Seriously, do share your hiding place because quite honestly I wouldn't mind finding refuge from the sensationalized news reports surrounding Tiger's fall from grace. It isn't my words that likens Tiger's afflictions as a fall from grace. I actually read that in a news editorial.

Why all the attention to the misfortune of Tiger's marriage? Okay. I know. You are probably going to tell me it's because he's famous; he's a celebrity; he's the golden child of golfing. Every move he makes will undoubtedly be fawned on like 16 year old to a first crush. Understood. I get it, I really do. It's the enormous price of fame. If you want to be in the limelight you've got be to prepared that every thing you do will be scrutinized.

Nonetheless, I have major ish with the way the media has portrayed Tiger. I'm annoyed by the obsessive amount of attention thrown at the current state of his life. I'm not defending Tiger's extramarital affairs in any way. I think they are reprehensible. There's no reasonable excuse that can justify a man or woman going outside of a marriage for any purpose. However, my sympathy to Tiger and his wife as they try to muddle their way through this painful period while still having to face daily their dirty laundry being aired to the public. Tiger is human and he will make poor choices just like us regular everyday folk. He is not an immortal god like he's been epitomized to be for the longest time. Get over him and let's discuss some real matters for a change.

Has society allowed the media to control and suck our interest in tabloid reports or is the other way around? Has our culture become so absorb with sensationalism that we fuel the efforts of reporters to supply our gossip hungry souls? Either way the vicious cycle turns, there are issues that need to be reported and little to no spotlight is being shown on these areas.

Over the past 4 months three of my neighbors were thrown out of their condos due to foreclosure. Where was the media when this happened? The most recent person to become a victim, wasn't thrown out because of her own negligence. Her landlord wasn't making his mortgage payments even though his tenant paid him every month as she was required to do. What kind of tom foolery is this? Why wasn't the media obsessed with this wrongdoing?

The list goes on and on about real issues that need national attention. Case in point, the topic of our men and women serving in the military. That discussion should never stop being in the news. Never. Suicide rates among military personnel and veterans have reached an epidemic high. Where's the media reporting about this? Someone? Anyone? Help me out here....

Picture: courtesy Flickr from Yahoo!

Sharing Heritage Helps Build Identity

2009-12-04T10:12:00.006-05:00

Tiger's father (my ex-husband) is Israeli and as I have mentioned before, I am from Haiti. Since both of my kids comes from diverse racial and cultural backgrounds, I've tried over the years to incorporate aspects from both nationalities so that my children have a greater appreciation of their family lineage. Furthermore, because of globalization, I feel that it's good for children to be raised with a broader world view. It truly is an immense privilege to live in a country, like America, that is a flavorful melting pot of traditions and heritage. Furthermore, living in South Florida, a sort of ethnic mecca, has enabled me to raise my children with a global perspective.

Although, the Hubster is an all American meat and potatoes kind of guy, he supports my efforts to integrate diversity into our family. He has traveled abroad extensively, throughout his military career. Consequently, he may possess an even greater understanding of the necessity to raise Tiger and Tar to appreciate diversity.

The wonderful thing about my mini-me, Tiger, is that he has an enthusiasm and excitement about learning about other ways of life. He loves studying about different countries and is constantly sharing tidbits of what he's learned. He lights up when Disney's Pass the Plate comes on because it features foods from other countries and he's always eager to try to make them.

Tiger's father speaks both Arabic and Hebrew. Recently, he signed up Tiger to take Hebrew lessons. At first I thought the idea was a little inconvenient because Hebrew isn't as widely spoken as Arabic. Interestingly enough, last year the Hubster had mentioned that I should encourage Tiger's father to teach Tiger Arabic because there is such a great need for bilingual Arabic/English speakers in this country.

As a result, when Tiger's father told me he had signed him up for a language class I immediately assumed it would be Arabic. But no, his decision was for Hebrew. A couple of months ago, Tiger came home from school and thrust an Alef Bet chart into my hand and started reciting the characters. To say the least, I was impressed. He's taken a real interest in learning the language and I'm thrilled to see it.This experience of learning the language has also spawned his curiosity in the Israel and his family over there. Tiger's father shared with me that his brother recently traveled back to Israel and that Tiger was anxious write letters so he could show off his new found Hebrew talents. I. love. it. This is exactly why I feel so strongly to encourage my children to learn about their diverse background. It helps them feel closer and bonded with their heritage. Furthermore, I feel it helps them develop a stronger identity.

Finding ME in MotherHood

2009-11-30T10:13:00.011-05:00

Did you ever fear before you became a mother that you might lose yourself in this role? Honestly, it never dawned on me that this could happen. There's no doubt, I knew I'd have to do away with the spontaneous, lust for adventure, independent side of me. Understandably, it would have to be relinquished to a more sedentary, stable lifestyle. However, when I became a mother, I was okay with these big changes. I had accomplished a few things that I was proud of by this time. Although, there were other things I would have liked to have accomplished, I had no problem throwing myself full throttle into Motherhood.

Looking back over the motherhood journey thus far, I have absolute no regrets about the the way motherhood has altered my life. Thanks to this amazing privilege, I am a better person today than I ever was before. I never knew I had such a capacity to love anyone as much as I love my children. I love them with the kind of love that makes me feel pain, when I see them in pain. My heart swells like a big balloon and it feels as if it might burst, because of the pride I have in the little men they are becoming. I truly didn't understand what self-sacrifice and compassion meant until I had experienced sleepless nights worrying about my sick babies. I've developed a new faith and trust in my God, after countless raw prayers of begging for my kids protection and safety.

Indeed, motherhood has made me a better me and I would even go so far as to say, she has saved me.

Nonetheless, despite what a gift and honor motherhood is, it is possible for a mother to lose herself in this role. I slowly began to realize this was happening to me, when every conversation I had somehow lead to my children or was dominated by brags or even vents regarding my darling little people. During times, when I should have been relishing in the opportunity to have "me-time" I was thinking about them and sometimes rushing to get back to them.

When I eventually reached the full awareness that I was losing myself in motherhood, I had to take a big step back so I could revisit who I was prior to becoming a mother. My first thoughts took me back to the young impetuous, adventure-seeker who thought she was invincible. In my brief moment of nostalgia, I remembered the ambitions I had in those days to travel to Europe and study French and Spanish in a language immersion program. Doors had started to open for me that quite possibly may have landed me a job working for the United Nations. I was ready for the challenge that kind of opportunity would yield and was aggressively taking the steps toward that end.

However, not long into my reminiscing, I realized it would be impossible for me to reembark on that ambition. I am a mother now and it would be inconvenient for me, unfair to my children and selfish to the Hubster to want to pursue such an undertaking. Even as I visited other areas of the past me, I realized I've evolved from the person I used to be. I've grown up and I have different needs, wants and desires for my life. It was time to find me in motherhood instead of trying to regaining the person I once was. The journey is a work in progress. I am rediscovering and learning anew my interests and talents. The biggest lesson being taught along the way is that it's really okay to have goals that aren't centered around my kids. As a matter of fact, having a sense of accomplishment for things I've done for myself helps make me be a better mother. It provides a great example to my kids to use there God given talents to not only do good for others, but as a means to explore their creativity and handiwork.

Have you been feeling lately that you are losing yourself in motherhood? Have you entered the journey to find yourself? Please share your thoughts.

To H1N1 Vaccinate or Not To H1N1 Vaccinate

2009-11-23T11:15:00.005-05:00

Like many families across the country, we are debating whether or not to vaccinate our children with the H1N1 vaccine. The Hubs is a strong believer in preventative health care through vaccination, while I prefer the holistic approach. Although, we conflict on this issue, I do understand his point of view.

For him vaccines save lives, HIS life. He receives a vaccine (I don't remember it's name) every 5 years to boost his immune system. He was born with 2 livers, I believe. Don't quote me on the medical abnormality, but I believe I'm correct. When he was a baby the extra organ was removed. When he turned 20 he was in a horrendous car accident that seriously should have taken his life and his liver was badly damaged. Long story short, since that accident he has had to take these shots to help him fight off illnesses.

The green, crunchy side of me makes me reluctant to have our children vaccinated. However, because the Hubs so strongly believes in them, we've had to compromise on this issue. This compromise lead us down the path of a delayed vaccination schedule. Tar has never received more than 2 vaccines at a time at each of his scheduled appointment. Depending on the vaccine, we would only allow him to be vaccinated if he was completely healthy. I handled vaccines the same way with Tiger too.

The debate over the H1N1 is a little different in my mind than with regular vaccines. We are dealing with a new vaccine with a very short research period. The fact that pro-government propaganda say that we are in an swine flu epidemic certainly doesn't help in decision making.

What makes the decision is even more difficult is the fact that Tar is in the risk group that could contract the virus, according to the Center for Disease Control. He is a child. He goes to daycare and he seems to have low resistance to sinus issues. But does that mean giving him the vaccine is the right decision? I'm not so quick to think so. Say that we give him the vaccine and he gets a cold as a result of the vaccine? Then what? He tends to get very sick when he catches a cold. It leads to ear infections, weight loss, diarhea, vomiting etc. I honestly don't know if I want to take that risk. On the other hand, as the Hubs says, if we don't give him the vaccine and he contracts the swine flu virus then we are dealing with a greater risk. Decisions. Decisions.

Anyway, I've been on a quest to find ways to help our family stay healthier this flu season and I came upon an interesting article. According to the article, Flu Prevention Tips: Keep from Getting Sick During Cold and Flu Season strengthening your immune system and your body's defense mechanism is the way to avoid getting sick. Of course, this isn't new information to any of us. However, the article suggests using essential oils as one of the 6 methods it gives to ward off the flu and cold. The article stated that essential oils like peppermint, tea tree oil and lavender with a little bit of olive oil can provide a temporary barrier from the flu virus if applied to the outside of your ear, nose and the sides of your throats. Per this article these essential oils contain antiviral and antibacterial components. I got a little chuckle after reading the article, because I imaged my family walking around smelling like peppermint candy or freshly washed clothes. Honestly, that wouldn't be such a bad thing. Peppermint, tea tree oil and lavender all have pleasant scents. Plus, if they keep my family healthier, I think it's worth a try.

Feel free to share what methods you are using to help your family stay healthier this year.

The debate over the H1N1 vaccine isn't over in our household. However, one thing both the Hubs and I agree on is that we should take measures to minimize the risks, irrespective of the vaccine.

Hold Onto Your Seat! This Is Going to Be a Wild Post!

2009-11-09T21:40:00.006-05:00

Expect this post to be all over the place, because I'm including as much as I can in it. As a matter of fact, I'm going to take some unfinished posts in draft and work with them. Right now I'm up to my eyeballs in writing 100 short (100-150 word) articles for a writing project I was contracted for. The deadline to get these articles in...drum roll please...FRIDAY! As of today I have 5 articles written. You do the math, I'm way behind and my computer would be the culprit. Anyway, now that things are up and running again with my computer I think I can comfortably write 3-4 articles an hour. The most time consuming aspect of writing the articles is doing the research. Once I've accumulated all the data, the actual writing part is a cinch.

As you can see daily journals of weaning Tar have gone by the wayside. Silly me for ever thinking I could commit to that. LOL Life has become very busy and I couldn't be more grateful. Why, you ask? Well, it's because of the projects that I've received have allowed me to work from home. This is a real dream come true and I thank God everyday for His provision and blessings. My efforts to work at home are still a work in progress phase. I'm not where I want to be, yet. But I am being shown consistently that through persistence and hard work it can be done. Unless the Lord leads me otherwise, I hope remain working at home for a while.

I do want to share some details of what's going on with weaning. Below are a few excerpts from posts I never finished:

November 4:

The process for us is going to be decidedly different than what any book, friend, relative or professional would suggest. This is for a few reasons. Firstly, Tar spends a few nights a week at his Dad's house so that rids both of us of the weaning challenge. Secondly, I feel weaning is about coming up with a method that works best for mother and child. Certainly, I have taken into consideration the advice from other sources. However, ultimately it's up to me what I feel works best for Tar's well being.

Right now we are working on getting Tar comfortable with no nursing after 1pm. I resume nursing him at bedtime around 7:30-9pm. Because of the way things are right now with him moving from two households, I'm not going to push him to meet the expectations that a lot of book would expect out of him at this point. This coming weekend we'll be able to give it another solid go. He's getting used to hearing me tell him nursing is for "night-night". All in all we are making progress, just very slow progress.

November 8:

BIG PROGRESS MADE! I'm so excited. Yesterday (Sat Nov. 7) and today I was able to get Tar to fall asleep at nap time without nursing him. Yahoo! He didn't even protest much. I'm so proud of him. I will admit that yesterday was a better day for him weaning-wise, though. He woke up from his nap chipper and in good spirits. Also we spent a large part of the afternoon at a church fair. However, this afternoon (Sun, Nov 8) he woke up crying and wanted to be nursed. I had to take him on a long walk to distract him. After we went in he still pouted and was cranky and I know it was because he wanted to nurse. All the same, I think he's made some great good progress this weekend.

Okay, so that's it for my efforts to cram in portions of my weaning post. In other news (a full post is forthcoming) I've joined this women in business networking group. I absolutely heart this group. The founders of the group are so totally committed to helping members grow and develop their businesses, it's insane. I've been to some of the most remarkable, inspiring group meetings. The kind that leave you feeling all tingly inside.

A few months before that I joined a crocheting group to help me hone in on developing my crocheting skills. I haven't been to any recent get togethers. But a few months ago I enjoyed some quality time bonding with more experienced "hookers". I want to get back into that. I'm realizing that I need to expand myself beyond the Mama roll. As women we tend to dedicate ourselves so exclusively to being mothers once the kids come along that we loose who we once were. We are more than Mamas. We are women with dreams and there's nothing wrong with having dreams that aren't centered around our children.

Anyway, folks if you have made it to the end of this post you deserve an award. I think I would have long abandoned this read, had it been on another blog. LOL I heart my bloggy friends!

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Sha~Dou!

Breathe It. Believe It. Claim It.

2009-11-02T14:30:00.000-05:00

The Original Execumama has a post up about stating your flashforward 6 months from now. If, you are scratching your head and wondering what exactly a flashforward is, do not feel you are alone. I have to admit I probably was the 1 in 1,145,533 persons who didn't know about ABC's hit series by the same name. In case you hadn't noticed I'm a Mother of 2 very active and rambunctious boys. Where exactly is there time for frivolous acts, like watching new hit shows? Ha! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

The crux of Execumama's brillantly written post is to challenge all of us to look into our future 6 months for now and to release our flashforward. Where do you see yourself in 6 months? More importantly, where do you want to be in 6 months? I totally love the concept of freeing ourselves from our inhibitions, fears and the nuances of life to allow ourselves to dream of the future. I'm not referring to the type of dreaming that brings about self pity. Don't start downing yourself for not being farther along in life or don't conjure up in your mind false illusions that will never materialize. Declaring your flashforward is an invitation to what I call breathe, believe, and claim your destiny.

Take a moment out in your day to envision yourself doing, being and living what you purpose your life to be in the next 6 months. Once you know beyond a shadow of a doubt where you would like to be, let that aspiration be air to your psyche. Inhale it in deep breaths, exciting you and giving you life. Just like our bodies need oxygen to live, so to do our spirits need ambitions and goals to thrive.

Believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish your dream. If you have to, stand in front of a mirror and exclaim to yourself that you can do whatever it is you desire to do. Tell yourself despite what happens around you, that you will commit and resolve to reach your goal. Write your mission on the frig, on the vanity in your bedroom, on the steering wheel of your car...write it anywhere, but write it somewhere so that you have a visual. Do whatever you need to do to grow the faith in yourself that you can do it.

Finally, claim victory on achieving your dream. The dream is already yours. You simply need to reach for it. I really hope that you take the challenge to breathe, believe and claim your flashforward.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Day 3 & 4 of Weaning

2009-11-02T13:59:00.000-05:00

Saturday:
Switching to day weaning was definitely a good idea. Saturday, we were out and about so much that Tar didn't even care to nurse. From the beach to trick or treating at a local strip mall (cheezy, I know...lol), he was kept very occupied with the day's events. That night he was exhausted. He nursed and quickly fell asleep. He stayed sleeping for a few hours and then it was back to the usually waking up every 2 to 2 1/2 hours or so. Thank goodness for the time switch. I got an extra hour to sleep in. Tar's internal clock woke him up promptly on his usual schedule, but having an older child is a blessing. Tiger is a gem of an older brother and he entertained him and got him snacks until I finally dragged myself out of bed.

Sunday:
After dragging myself out of bed, I got breakfast on the table and then it was time to get ready for church. We go to the 10:15am service that usually ends around 12pm - 12:15ish. Service was da domb, as usual! We went home, I got the kiddos fed and then it was nap time for Tar. It was about 1:30pm by this time. I contemplated on whether or not I should nurse him for nap time and decided I would, but that would be the last one until bedtime that night.

About 45 minutes into napping he woke up fussing. He was clearly still tired and wanted to be nursed back to sleep. I put on my game face and went to get him to rock him back to sleep. He wasn't having it. He started with the whimpering, that quickly turned into screaming that eventually ended in him starting to choke on his tears. I realized he was not going to go back to sleep so I decided the important thing to do was to calm him down. We went out on the porch that over looks a little pond and fountain. He loves looking over the pond and within a few minutes he had calmed down.

I explained to him that nursing was only going to be for "night, night". We talked about how Daddy and bro-bro don't nurse because they are big boys. He listened quietly and I wondered if he understood what I told him. I gave him hug and held him close. After a little while he broke from my grip and said "Night, night? Okay Mama. No daddy? No bow-bow?" The look on his face nearly broke my heart. Not to mention his face was puffy and red from all the crying he had been doing. It seriously made me want to cry. Partly, because I don't like seeing him like this and partly because I'm battling the feelings that he's growing up and I won't get to nurse him for very much longer. I know some will wonder why I'm doing it, if I don't have too, especially since I believe in self weaning. Again, I really think his lack of sleep and mine for that matter is a serious enough reason to go against my sentiment. I told him he was a good boy and then we went in. A few times that afternoon he asked to be nursed and I told him "Night, Night," and then he would pause for a moment and start doing something else. He didn't fuss or fight about it, which really surprised me. I took the boys to the park for a few hours and by the time we got home it was time for bathing, dinner and then bed. All in all I thought we made some small but necessary steps.

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Sha~Dou!

Day 2 of Weaning

2009-10-31T11:42:00.006-04:00

I have to make this quick because we are off to bum on the beach! Trust me when I say this little outing is MUCH deserved. Last night was H. E. Double Hockey Sticks! I figured it was going to be, but actually living it is another thing. Tar went to sleep around 9:30pm and woke up around 11ish. I didn't check the clock for the exact time, but I know it was after 11pm.

My game plan was to wean him from 11pm - 7am just as this article stated to do. I was able to get Tar back to sleep sans nursing. Surprised and happy I thought the rest of the night would be without issue. WRONG. He woke up again at 1am. From 1-3am he screamed and fought all attempts I made to get him to sleep on his own. Finally, when both of us were totally exhausted, I gave in and nursed him. I know. Not good. But I couldn't take it anymore. Plus I wasn't operating on much sleep myself, considering the night before I hadn't slept much. Anyway, he did go back to sleep for about 2 hours and I think I nursed him 2 more times after that. Honestly, the rest of the night was a blur.

After recounting all this with the hubs (who btw is totally for weaning him) he said maybe I should switch to weaning him in the day, when I can distract him better. I think I want to try that. I hate to see Tar crying, period. But seeing him screaming in the middle of the night is too much for me. Furthermore, it concerns me that the neighbors might start wondering what's going on. I suppose I could forewarn them, but I just don't feel like broadcasting this to the neighbors. Lol - although I'll broadcast it over the internet.

On other positive news, our Christmas plans are finalized. I. Love. Christmas. The decorating, the meals, family time, going to church, gift exchange...the whole shabang! We like to keep our plans small for Christmas. Thanksgiving, we'll usually hang out with other relatives for the big Thanksgiving feast. But not for Christmas. We do our own small personal celebration just the hubs, the kids and I. This year is no different and I can't wait. Tar is older so I think he'll be into it a lot more than last year. We have our tickets to the Fort Lauderdale Christmas Pageant. It's the first year we were able to get tickets that weren't way up in the balcony practically 3 miles from the stage! lol I ordered them early. The show is pretty extravagant, but well worth the experience. I'm totally stoked and excited!

Anyway, have a great weekend and see you on the other side.

Looking for gifts, apparels and novelties with a green theme? Check us out at
Sha~Dou!

Day 1 of Weaning

2009-10-30T09:24:00.004-04:00

After posting about my pregnancy woes I immediately went into research mode. As always I turned to my trusty source, Dr. Google. He was not to let me down and I found a phelethora of information regarding ways to wean, how it effects toddlers, reasons for or against initiated weaning etc. Despite the overload of information, I still couldn't decide if I should wean Tar or if I should stick it out.

Honestly, I was battling the feelings of being a failure at breastfeeding or somehow that I will shortchanged Tar of the breastfeeding experience if I decided to go ahead and wean him. I know it might sound ridiculous that I would feel this way since I've been breastfeeding him his entire 22 month old life. However, I had always assumed Tar would self-wean just like his older brother. This struggle brought home again a much needed reminder that ALL children are different and that parenting is about the child and not the method.

I decided to hop onto twitter and see if I could find support there. Well folks, I had no idea what was in store for me. It is here my journey to weaning Tar began, however I had no idea of this when I wrote my first tweet. So, brace yourself readers (actually I'M the one that needs all the bracing) because this is about to be a crazy ride. I've decided for my own self-therapy and also so that it might help others who might be going through this, to share my weaning adventure. Daily, I will be posting about the process. It might be emotional, it might be funny, it might be incredibly boring... I have no way to forewarn you on how it will play out because it will be LIVE and raw. lol

In the midst of sharing my experience I will give you excerpts of my tweeting conversations. I ~~stole~~ borrowed this cute idea from Jennifer over at Babymakin(g) Machine. hee! *Disclaimer: You all know I'm the typo Queen so expect typos and many of them in my tweets*

(My first tweet - October 29)

After a lengthy conversation on twitter with mainly @that_danielle and @Blacktating I again turned back to the internet to read up and study on weaning. However, this time I was well equipped with sites to visit, articles to read and most importantly encouragement that I am not alone in what I am dealing with. It appears that Tar's breastfeeding habits are common among a lot of breastfeeding bebes who are raised in the family bed. So my lovelies after much thought, reading and rereading this article and educating myself on the Pantley Pull-Off method, I've decided to go full throttle into weaning my baby, starting tonight.

All of yesterday my mind was pretty much consumed with the task at hand. Last night I was sleepless in S. Florida. Ugh. I don't think I got more than 2 hrs sleep AND I was toddlerless. Go figure. I has having major nerves about the whole process and knowing how it's going to affect Tar in the beginning. But today I feel a little better (a little). If anyone has thoughts to share on this process, please share them. I would love to find a storybook for kids about this. He loves for me to read him books at night and I think it would be a help to read him a story about a Mama preparing her child for weaning.

Breastfeeding Woes

2009-10-28T12:24:00.002-04:00

Tar and I are trudging along in our breastfeeding journey. Lately, it seriously has become a laborious adventure. Our major snag seems to be that he hasn't developed a consistent and productive sleeping pattern. Of course what this means for ME, is that no proper sleep for him means NO proper sleep for me. See the emphasis on how it affects me? Did you catch that? lol

What puzzles me about this situation is that he seems to only have sleeping issues when he is sleeping with me. When he is at his Dad's house he sleeps like a rock. At least that is what the hubs says. Take last night for instance, Tar was up 6 times (yes people, SIX times) wanting to nurse. He didn't nurse a few minutes, it's as if he nursed for hours. I had to literally stop him from nursing so that I could shift my position because my body started aching from being in that position for so long. I'll admit that last night's feeding schedule was even a bit excessive for him. This seems absolutely ridiculous and insane that I would be dealing with these type of issues with a 22 month old.

Shouldn't he be following a healthy sleeping pattern by now? When he is home with me he will nurse all day long. It doesn't seem to affect his eating habits because he'll still eat table food when served. However, but I don't understand what he wants to nurse so much. In a given day I'd guesstimate that he nurses 5 or 6 times and then he'll probably nurse an additional 3 times after he goes to sleep at night.

I am a believer in gentle weaning and/or self weaning when possible. This situation seems to ebb and flow. Up until about a month ago things were getting better and it wasn't such a problem. However, about 4-5 months ago we were going through a similar situation as we are now and he started increasing how many times he was waking up to nurse. I got frustrated at that time and tried to wean him. It end up being a disaster. He wailed and wailed each time I tried to use other methods to get him to sleep. I tried every method I read about to prepare him for gentle weaning and the results were a complete failure. I gave up and went back to nursing. I'm not good at letting him cry himself to sleep and I couldn't pound the floors at night with him because I was working at that time.

I'm at a loss. I'm going to his pedi to confirm he doesn't have any ear infections and then I'm going to speak to a lactation specialist. I am just curious if anyone has ever dealt with these breastfeeding and sleeping concerns in a toddler. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated

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What's In A Name?

2009-10-26T10:27:00.005-04:00

You are lazily strolling through blogosphere in search of a good read and happen upon a blog titled Our Black Children or A Jewish Mom's Blog or Tales of Married Latino Couples.** Would you stop and read the blog even if you aren't of the ethnic persuasion named in the blog title? Seriously, would you? Ha! Did I just put you on the spot or what, eh? Don't hold back, I'd love to hear your honest thoughts.

This topic has been surfacing quite a bit lately in blogdom and I have been a part of a few of the discussions. How the conversation even began was at a session at BlogHer. I didn't attend Blogher, but I was told about the conversation. It appears the topic was raised that some bloggers feel unwelcome to visit blogs that identify a race in the title. It is my understanding that it was implied that bloggers should refrain from doing this to avoid isolating their blogs. Of course, this made me wonder if these same people would equally feel unwelcome about pictures in headers that identify a race. Would they feel isolated by a weird ethnically named blog like, Quiskaeya (lol). Hey, just saying...

Fair is fair. If I'm going to put you on the spot then the least I can do is give you my honest thoughts. Before I do, let me address a question that I get emailed a lot. People want to know how to pronounce my blog name. It's pronounced kis-kay-ya. The pronunciation is simply but it looks very confusing.

Blogs with unusual ethnic names or names that target a specific race in my opinion are doing one of two things; and in some cases they maybe doing both. Firstly, they may be reaching out to a specific audience that can relate to the blog name or secondly, they are potentially making a connection to their background or past. In regards to my blog name, Quiskaeya, I was doing the latter. The name Quiskaeya has a personal and special meaning to me because of the history of this name. In this blog I talk often of my past, my family, my views and a lot of the things I cherish. I wanted to connect those things all under one name and hence, why decided on the name Quiskaeya.

All this being said, when I see a blog with a very specific name, particularly with a racial profile in the title, it is saying to me that the author of the blog is targeting people of that racial group. I don't see anything wrong with this. All of us like community, camaraderie, a place we can feel safe to express ourselves and a place we feel is home. Blogs have become that place for some people where they can find likeness and oneness. Therefore, naming a blog something very specific so that a blogger can reach the community they desire, is perfectly normal. We do this in everyday life. We join various groups, clubs, organization, etc all in an effort to surround ourselves with common people.

I agree that naming a blog in this manner does run the risk of isolating some people. I think it would be a bit nonsensical for the author of such a blog to wonder why bloggers that don't fit the profile might feel hesitant to join in on the discussions. Then again, if you are like me I enjoy reading blogs from varying point of views. A few of my favorite blogs are from bloggers from other races, cultures, countries, religions etc. Seeing life from another person's world view can be extremely eye-opening.

I think it comes down to why a person reads blogs. Are they traveling the blogworld to broaden their perspective and peak into another world they might not otherwise have exposure to? Or are they looking for their niche, their clique and the people who can "feel them"? Personally, I don't see either as being wrong. To each his own. Come at me folks, what say you?

Resources: google images

**Disclaimer: As far as I am aware there are no blogs by these names. If for any reason there are blogs by these names or at a later date some blogs are named the same names or similarly to the above referenced blog names, it was not my intention to speak specifically regarding these blogs.

Look At Me Counting!

2009-10-19T12:38:00.005-04:00

I look at my nearly 24 month old (he'll be 2yo in December) and I am amazed how much Tar is learning and growing. Someone pinch me please! Wasn't he just born and minute ago?? It sure seems like it sometimes. He is doing so well with his numbers and letters. Just this morning he gave me the shock of all shocks when he identified that something was a circular shape.

He was eating a tostados, which is a round corn tortilla. He repeated several times, "Look Mommy! A circle." We were on the way to daycare and I was listening to the radio so at first I wasn't paying him any attention. Finally, I looked in the rear view mirror. He had the tostados out in front of him and again he said, "Look Mommy! A circle!" I was impressed, to say the least. I didn't know he recognized his shapes. On a daily basis I am taken by surprised at what he knows. It's so much fun watching him learn and grow. Here is a video taken about a month ago of him counting. The video is really grainy because my poor camera was on the brink of death. It's so cute how he says eight! Sometimes it sounds like "H".

Interracial Couple DENIED A Marriage License In 2009

2009-10-16T08:42:00.004-04:00

That's right you read the title correctly. Here we are 42 year post the court trial of Loving v. Virginia (1967) and an interracial couple is denied the right to get married. Whoa!

This quote from Justice Bardwell, the judge who allegedly refused to issue the marrriage license, leaves me speechless:
"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

That man is a saint. *rolls eyes* He ACTUALLY has piles and piles of black friends AND he lets them use his bathroom. O.M. freakin' Goodness! It's so ridiculous you almost have to laugh.

My heart just fell when I read this:

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

This argument against interracial couples having children is so old and worn out. I'm not going to debate this absurd statement with a response. But what I will say is that the list of successful, upstanding, well accomplished biracial children is far reaching. Can someone say President Barack Obama? You can even walk around in everyday life and see biracial people and they seem no less happy or no more confused and disorientated than the rest of society. Justice of the peace, Bardwell needs to really get a clue and join the rest of us in 2009.

Resources: picture from google images

Please Read ALL My Followers

2009-10-14T08:50:00.004-04:00

Over the past year and a half I have enjoyed showcasing products that I have personally tested and reviewed. It's been fun for me and I hope fun for you as well. In most cases, my reviews were in conjunction with a giveaway so that many of you were given the opportunity to try these products for yourself. All in all it was a win-win.

I take product reviewing and giveaways very seriously. All the products that I displayed on my blog were products that I honestly love and would purchase or actually do purchase. I was not paid for any of these reviews how I did receive the products completely free of charge and was allowed to keep them.

The new FTC regulations, or should I say the rehashing of an Act of 1980, has brought about a lot of buzz and in even some instances fear in the product review blogging community. If you are not familiar with the Act that I am speaking about, it's regarding the FTC requisite guidelines for consumer endorsements and testimonials. How does this affect product review bloggers? Really all it requires is that bloggers that post a review on a product disclose their relationship with the company. Questions such as these should be answered when posting product reviews: was this a paid review, was the product received for free or at a cost, must the product be returned or can it be kept, etc.

Common sense should really dictate these types of post. I'm not phased by these new guidelines. I gladly comply and I don't see that it will negatively affect my ability to conduct reviews. I, on the other hand, want to take a break from product reviewing. I have a designated email address for my PR/Marketing/Product Review request and it's full to overflowing. I can't keep up with the amount of requests at this time. And quite honestly, I've been really dropping the ball on the reviews/giveaways that I've recently done. Not. a. good. thing. at. all.

I wanted to make sure that the bloggers who are following me simply for the product reviews/giveaways are aware that I will be on hiatus from this for the time being. It's not to say that I won't ever do them again, but as for now I will be breaking from that. Of course, feel free to continue following me so that in the future when I pick it up again you will be front and center for the action.

If you have any questions about this post please feel free to email me at quiskaeya[at]gmail[dot]com.

Resource: picture from google image

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Sha~Dou!

Did You Know?

2009-10-12T13:50:00.008-04:00

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which I'm sure most people know. But if you are a black woman did you also know these startling facts:

While the number of breast cancer cases nationwide is decreasing among Caucasian women, the same can not be said among black women. In Arkansas and Mississippi the reported cases of breast cancer have actually increased for black women, while in the majority of the states the numbers have remained flat. The states of Alabama, California, Florida, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Tennessee, Virginia, Washington and Washington DC are the only states to see a significant amount of decrease in cases for analysis.

Another poignant fact is that black women are prone to a deadlier type of breast cancer. Death rates for breast cancer are 40 percent higher for black women. Researchers aren't sure why black women are disproportionately affected by breast cancer over their counterparts. Truth be told, there is a disparity in treatment between black and Caucasian women. Some of these factors have to do with the fact that black women are not as aggressive about screening and aren't educating themselves about cancer.

Early detection is extremely vital to decreasing mortality rates. Go get your mammograms ladies. If you are between the age of 25-39 get screened every 2-3 years. If you are 40 and over get screened every year. Screening starts at home with self screening and examining your breasts on a daily basis. Get to know your breasts and how they feel so you can determine if somethings doesn't feel right. There are other facts that can curb your risks and they include:

Watch your weight. Overweight and obese women are at a higher risk of breast cancer
Exercise regularly as this decreases your risk of breast cancer as much as 20 percent
Lighten up on the sauce. The more you drink in regards to the number of glasses and length of years will increase your risk
Hormone replacement therapy has been linked to higher risk of breast cancer in women who use them
Including some soy (not the supplement) to your diet can decrease your risk of breast cancer
Carotenoid that comes from fresh/raw fruits and veggies has shown a remarkable ability to mitigate the risk of breast cancer. Eat your veggies!
A recent study of 2,000 Chinese women revealed that those women who drank green tea daily were 40 percent less likely to develop breast cancer
Women who smoke have a 20 percent chance of developing breast cancer over women who do not.

Resources: MSNBC.com, National Breast Cancer Foundation Org & google image

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Sha~Dou!

40 DOLLARS!

2009-10-06T19:39:00.000-04:00

Before I tell you about $40, I have to send a shout out to my darling firstborn! HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear boy! What an incredible blessing you have been! His birthday was actually on September 5 so I am terribly late in sending well wishes. Life got in the way of posting and before I knew it, I was waking up to October 6.

Tiger is now 8 and here are 8 facts about him:

1) He is left handed
2) He was born at 8:03am
3) He loves astronomy and science
4) He wants to be a firefighter, paramedic and police officer (and he claims he is going to be ALL of them at one time)
5) He scored in 97th percentile of the state on his SAT
6) He is an amazing, amazing big brother to his baby brother (I couldn't be more proud!)
8) He is super talkative

So on to $40. If you had forty dollars in your hand what would you spend it on? Moreover, what do you think you could buy of quality with it? Maybe a nice shirt... Perhaps a couple of dvds or games...Maybe a pair of silver earrings or necklace...

Look what I got for $40!

No it isn't your imagination! lol I got a breadmaker, an all in-one printer, a multi-line phone and loads of books and games. I went to our city's gargage sale and there were so many fabulous finds. I wish I had known about their gargage sale before because I could have saved myself a heck of a lot of money. Anyway, I know now!

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Sha~Dou!

On the Cuspis of Changing Seasons

2009-10-05T21:22:00.009-04:00

I can hardly believe the last time I wrote on my dear beloved blog was in September. My poor, deserted blog - oh how I love thee, but I can't seem to find the time for you these days. It's October and we are on the cuspis of changing seasons. Fall has barely started. I love fall. The trees with their gold and orange leaves are breathtaking. I love to listen to the whistling wind as it blows through cracks in the window. Gone are the high 90 degree temperatures and in their place are 70-80 degree weather.

Hold on.....! This is South Florida we're talking about here. It's still HOT, HOT, HOT in these parts. Florida doesn't get such lovely fall weather. I must have been dreaming. lol Okay, back to reality.

It is true that we are on the cuspis of the old and new season, although it may not seem like it in my neighborhood because the weather hasn't changed much. Ironically, the changing seasons seem to be mirroring my own life. Recently, I read this excerpt:

"by George Musser, Astronomical Society of the Pacific
There are two kinds of people: Those who enjoy the ebb and flow of the seasons, the dapples of autumnal color, the hoary headed frosts of winter, the flowers anew of spring, the live murmur of a summer's day. And those who don't find anything romantic in blinding snowstorms, ice-covered roads, or gangrenous frostbite; who would just as soon go south in the winter, and stay there..."

So here I am on the other end of yet another major change and I have a totally new resolve. I am at home again. I have joined the ranks of the 4-5 million jobless Americans and quite honestly, it might be the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.

I was grateful for my job, don't get me wrong. But my heart was never in it. My initial reason for going back to work was to allow me to continue my schooling. Unfortunately, that didn't work out as I thought it would. When that plan fell through my heart started longing to be back at home again. However, I didn't see a way that could happen, particularly after this change. I prayed about it and never stopped hoping, although I knew there was no other way, except for me to keep working. God, in His sense of humour, gave me my wish and over a week ago I lost my job.

I have a total sense of calm and contentment about this situation. I feel this is an answer to my prayers and I have leaped into this new challenge with enthusiasm and excitement. There are a few opportunities I've always wanted to pursue and I've never had the time to do them. Now I have the time and I can pour all my talent, efforts and drive into giving them a go. I feel so uninhibited it's amazing. With God's help, I hope to makes something out of nothing so I won't have to go back to work, in the conventional sense, again. Only time will tell, but I'm open to the possibilities.

picture: courtesy Google image

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Anger

2009-09-29T10:14:00.005-04:00

I have never seen myself as an angry person. Actually, I've often been described as being a fun, humorous, energetic person. So when a friend recently told me that I seemed angry...well...I got exactly that...angry. I might accept someone saying that I'm honest, almost to a fault. For instance, if you ask me your genuine opinion be prepared to receive exactly what you asked for. I don't see any reason to sugar-coat the truly with fluff. If that is what a person really wants when they ask me for my honest opinion they should ask me to flatter them. I'm good for that too! I love giving compliments. Actually, I'm a lot better at giving compliments, than receiving them.

Okay, so back to my friend that said that I am angry. She is right. I am genuinely angry for some things that I feel weren't quite fair in my eyes. Some of these things I had a sincere right to be angry about. Again, bringing up the church service this past Sunday, Pastor Bob told the congregation about how when life is going our way we are often "Yay God!", "God Rocks!" etc. etc. But when things start turning sour then we want to become angry with Him. Moreover, some of us will pray ourselves through a situation and lean on God, but become angry with Him when he doesn't give us the outcome that we want. Guilt! - of the latter.

This morning I picked up a notebook to start dictating today's schedule. Btw - I'm ROCKIN' it today and keeping on schedule. Woot! I opened the notebook to the first page and came across a list I had written of things to do when I'm angry. Did you all see the heaven open up and the angel sing?? lol But, seriously it was the weirdest thing. I don't know when and where I got this information. It could have been at a past church service or maybe listening to my favorite Christian radio show, but there it was. Amazing information to help me. Being the sharing person that I am *awwww* I'm sharing with you...

James 1:19-20 (NIV)
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Pray for the person or circumstance that caused your anger
Exercise strenuously for 20 minutes
Play a solo game of some sport or read a book
Hold your breath for 9 seconds. Repeat 3x
Memories 5 Bible verses on anger and speak them out loud when angry
Journal your thoughts and feelings

Additional Bible verses on anger: Psalm 4:4, Ephesians 4:26 and 1Cor 13:5

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Sha~Dou!

Giving Mamahood Structure & Balance

2009-09-28T11:43:00.007-04:00

I've never liked the structure. It probably has to do with the fact that I'm abstract and like to live spontaneously. Wanderlust. I have major wanderlust. If I could have moved from Florida years ago, skidmarks of my departure would be the only memories left behind. I would have been outta here that fast! Something, about having children forces a person to become more structured. Learning to embrace structure is a journey. Discovering the right structure is a challenge. How does one create structure in one's life that allows for a free flowing lifestyle, yet allows it to provide the right boundaries? Balance is key and I being a libra only flourish when balance is obtained. Lately, my balance has been tipped too far to the left or right.

Yesterday's church teaching was a great one for me. Pastor Bob gave this amazing illustration about being thrown into a pit and how sometimes that is the best place for growth. Think about it, if a person is in a pit what are the elements surrounding them? Dirt, sunlight (or SONlight) above and water beneath. These are the perfect elements to strout grow and lift a person out of the of their "pityful" situation.

I haven't done this incredible teaching any justice. However, if you are feeling like you've been thrown into a pit I highly recommend that you listen to his words of inspiration. Simply click here. If this link doesn't work then go here: http://www.calvaryftl.org/AWMedia/MediaDesk.cfm?fn=A1511 and on Sermon Archives choose the sermon date of 09/27/09.

Anyway, here we are on a Monday. The last Monday of September and I find myself at a crossroad. Life, in its many twists and turns has brought me to a junction and I need to batten down the hatches as the idom says. The good thing is that I have more time now than ever to really decide where we go from here. Today I'm just going to chillax and soak in a few things because the rest of the week is going to be FULL. I have to declutter. My decluttering mission will be about developing a family schedule and budget. I need to find a way to be able to work on some projects that I haven't been able to tackle because of lack of time. I have absolutely no excuse to not accomplish these things because now I do have time. Secondly, I need to get my boys on a schedule that we can all commit to regardless of what circumstances that may arise. I must buckle down about meals/grocery planning.

From what I know of me, the best schedules are the ones that include everything. My day has to be full written hour by hour. Example: Wake up at 6:30am, breakfast at 7am, Tiger to school by 7:45, etc.etc. I've realized I need to even pencil in when I'll take breaks, eat meals, how long I'll work on projects, when I can ~~goof off and waste time~~ network on facebook (love her!), twitter (learning to love her more daily...lol) and blogosphere (my love/hate relationship..ack).

Ive fallen into the trap before where I didn't dictate my day from the time I got up to the time I laid down and I alwayed ended up feeling like I accomplished nothing. The good thing is that I finally understand I can't do it all, everyday. I used to think I could. I thought I could cook homemade meals for every meal, clean the house daily, do laundry, tend to the family and accomplish my personal objectives. Maybe, there are Mamas out there that are doing it. Go on with your badself and get your Mama of the year award. I'm going to stay right here and keep my sanity. I'm not going to compete with you, nor am I going to try to be you.

However, if you or any Mamas have advice/thoughts and resources to recommend on how to give Mamahood more structure, I'm listening. Just because I'm not trying to be you doesn't mean that I think I can't learn from you. I'm all ears.....

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Sha~Dou!

Wal-Mart's Getting Into Green

2009-09-22T20:41:00.008-04:00

Around May or June of this year (it was definitely before summer break started) I was shopping at Wal-Mart and observed some organic linens in the home goods section. It caught me by surprise because Wal-Mart really never struck me as the type of retailer to carry "green" products. As the largest retailer in the world, Wal-Mart's brand is synomous with rock bottom prices that have often garnered raised eyebrows about their strategies in obtaining those prices. There is no denying that Wal-Mart is familiar with controversy. The Wal-Mart/China relationship has widely been speculated and debated on how ethical that connection is.

I like Wal-Mart and I shop there regularly. All the hoopla and controversy I take with a grain of salt. No, I'm not a fan of China made products and avoid them at all cost. Having said that I don't believe Wal-Mart would knowingly support unethical business and or labour practices at the hands of China. However, I wouldn't have thought of shopping Wal-Mart for environmentally conscious products.

As it appears, Wal-Mart is on a mission to determine the social and environmental impact of every item it puts on its shelves. And it has recruited scholars, suppliers, and environmental groups to help it create an electronic indexing system to do that.

According to Michael T. Duke, Wal-Mart CEO/President, “We have to change how we make and sell products...We have to make consumption itself smarter and sustainable.”

Sound a little scary to you? The potential for greenwashing could be HUGE! Honestly, I think it awesome. The potential for good in my opinion far outweighs the potential for bad and I say "Kudos!" to Wal-Mart for this move. This effort could be the catalyst we need to sharply drive down the unreasonable prices in eco-friendly products. Moreover, what other giant retailer is making this move? There aren't any that I know of, do you?

Credits: NyTimes.com

Picture: Google

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Give Lunchbox a Makeover with Salba Smart Chips

2009-09-14T19:10:00.009-04:00

I was contacted a few months ago to sample some Salba Smart products. About a week after arrangements were made to graciously send me the products I received my products. The package included a bag of pretzels, a large bag & individual serving packets of tortilla chips and a bottle of salsa.

I cannot tell you how delicious these products are; you need to try them to understand. Seriously. Both my sons LOVED every product. Tiger to this day keeps asking me to get some and because I've been on a budget I had to forgo some of the "extras". As a surprise, I ordered some of the tortilla packets. I plan to sneak them in his lunch when they come. Sneaky Mama! lol

Let me tell you a little about Salba and Salba Smart all natural products. Salba is a whole grain loaded with nutrients and minerals. It is among the only grains to be subjected to an interventional clinical study demonstrating its ability to help with the risk factors and management of type 2 Diabetes. Salba has omega-3, fiber, calcium, iron, magnesium and many other nutrients. This amazing little grain really has it all and that's not just a catchy sloggan.

If you are looking to lower your cholestrol or help manage you diabetes, you may want to research into it and discuss it with your doctor. A good place to start is http://www.salbasmart.com/index.html/. However, if you are interested in trying Salba Smart products simply to see how they taste, you will NOT be disappointed. Unlike, a lot of super healthy foods, Salba has a wonderful taste and I can attest that even kids will love Salba Smart products.

*This was not a paid review. I did receive the products listed above at no charge*

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I have Twelve Blog Posts in Draft....

2009-09-10T22:34:00.005-04:00

I have one blog giveaway that should have been wrapped up yesterday. I have three reviews that I need to write and post, but do you know what I did tonight instead? I made these adorable little rose!

My elderly neighbor next door had a sewing machine that she doesn't use anymore. I think she upgrade to a better one. She gave me her old one because she knows I have "youngins" as she referred to my boys. I've never been much into sewing. I took lessons my last year of high school and never touched a sewing machine again. But now-a-days having a machine around to do minor mends comes in handy, therefore I gratefully accepted the gift.

Anyway, these pretty little roses were completely upcycled from some bridesmaid dresses I was going to give away. I'm going to try to make other types of flowers - maybe a Peony or Chrysanthemum. I'm shooting for a whole bouquet. I think they'll make a lovely center piece to put somewhere in my very bare apartment.

They were loads of fun to make. I'm trying to find a way to put them on a headband or clippie. Anyone know how?

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White-Chocolate Mocha Toffee Latte...

2009-09-07T23:11:00.005-04:00

Does it sound like a wickedly delicious drink? Actually, those are just a few hues that resemble the complexion of biracials.

I was in the grocery store check out with my two lil men. The cashier was oo-ing and ah-ing over the boys, particularly so over Tar. Eventually, she asked a question I could tell has been burning on her mind to ask. I see this cashier regularly at check out, so she is not new to me. She is always very friendly with my boys.

"He's (pointing to Tar) mixed, isn't he?" The cashier asked me lowering her voice.

I nodded my head.

Then she turned to Tiger and in much the same tone asked, "But is he? I wasn't sure."

Again, I nodded my head.

"See, I wasn't sure about the older one. He looks mixed now since he's gotten a hair cut. But when his hair was longer I wasn't sure if he was just very light skinned or biracial." The cashier rambled on.

I responded in my typical fashion to say how much Tiger looks like me and that he is my twin.

Recently, I've witnessed people grappling with my old son's appearance with regard to him being biracial. From the perspective of a mother of a mixed race child, this is nonsensical and in-consequential all in the same breathe. This isn't something parents of biracials ever think about. Actually, does any parent of a child, monoracial or otherwise ever think on these terms? Would a mother of a caucasion child ask, "Does my child look white?" Or will a father of hispanic child wonder if his child bears a resemblance of the hispanic race?

Honestly, it is society that makes parents of biracials have to stop and think on the matter of does my child look biracial? Actually, what does a biracial look like, anyway? Unfortunately, because our culture's effort to homogenize the images of mixed race people, some in our society are left scratching their heads if a biracial doesn't fit that image. Thanks to Hollywood and the media the biracial look has been epitomized by characteristics of caramel complexion and cork screw curly hair. This sensationalized persona is only a small representation of vast picture of mixed race people.

To help you understand just how complex our mixed race population is chew on these nuggets. The following list is comprised of mixed race people:

I present you...
President Barack Obama (Please do not tell me that you didn't know our President is biracial.)
Anthony Quinn (Mexican/Irish)
Brandon Lee (Asian/Caucasion)
Salli Richardson (Black & Cherokee/Irish & Italian)
Giancarlo Esposito (Black/Italian)
Alexandra Stevenson (Black/Caucasion)
Tiger Woods (Black/Asian)
Lou Diamond Phillips (Caucasion & Cherokee/Filipina & Japanese)
Lauren London (Black/Jewish)
Lenny Kravitz (Black/Jewish)
Kimora Lee Simmons (Black/Asian)
The list goes on and on. Google mixed race people and you will be amazed at who has a multiracial background. There is no rhyme or reason when it comes to mixing of the races. Genetics do not come down to a cute little formula that can be calculated and preconceived. I hope that when my children grow up, regardless of what comments they receive regarding their look, I've done my part in helping them feel comfortable in their skin. To me, they are my silly little monkeys and I think they are beautiful...black, white or otherwise.

Have a Great 3 Day Weekend!!

2009-09-04T07:24:00.001-04:00

I plan to cast all my worries and cares aside for a little bit and ROCK IN the Labour Day weekend like these two....

Have a great 3 day weekend bloggy friends. Be safe, be healthy and be happy! God Bless :)