tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6498942176472930258.post-26652510769534256412006-12-05T13:33:00.001-08:002006-12-05T13:55:05.018-08:00As we all know, I love to sit at Starbucks and be a Hipster. Sit on my Powerbook and type away. What I'm actually typing is unimportant, remember, this is LA. Image is everything, right? Obviously not kids. That's the lesson of today!<br /> Sarcasm aside, I really was sitting in Starbucks, sipping a Chai Latte and watching something quite extraordinary. Now, since I've been in LA I've become accustomed to groups of actors sitting around drinking coffee, talking about potential scripts, holding each other's egos above water. And that's fine. Entertaining usually, watching the big personalities compete for who is the biggest out-of-work actor at the table.<br /> Not in Santa Monica. Things swing a bit different here. I came here today to run some errands, check out the beach, and enjoy a different part of LA. While in Starbucks, sipping away, typing away, I noticed something strange. These seemingly homeless people all sitting around. I immediately thought to myself, "tyler, they aren't homeless. How else would they afford their starbucks! I can barely afford starbucks everyday, let alone homeless people." <br /> (and though I'm being hyperbolic, I can afford starbucks, I have to insert qualifiers like this as my mom doesn't believe my stories in the blogs)<br /> In any event, as I sat their typing work up, I noticed that there were actually a ton of homeless people all around the coffee shop congregating as if they were getting ready for a big meeting. These weren't the homeless people that simply stare off into space, or mutter inaudible words. No, these were articulate, passionate homeless people. Sitting in the large leather chairs provided by Starbucks, these homeless people sat and strategized about which corners were best for pandhandling while others bemoaned the fact that the guy from "Wings" is a cheap bastard because he wouldn't give him any change.<br /><br /> "I need 10 more bucks. I won't be able to get my whore for the week!" said the one homeless guy who had a rattail hair-do and a dirty yellow wife-beater on<br /><br />Yes, that is exactly what he said. Which bothers me on a number of levels, mainly this: Don't whores have standards? Are real-life whores that hard up for cash that they'll even sleep with homeless men? I wasn't able to enjoy the rest of my latte as the picture of some meth'ed-out whore bouncing on top of the aforementioned homeless man ran repeatedly through my head. Eww.<br /><br />Also of interest is the fact that these ostensibly insane homeless people are well organized too! They pool their money together and divide it amongst themselves, then buy whores apparently. I wonder what other assorted items these kids spend their money on. And, if I really think about it, if I didn't have to pay rent, I wonder what ostentatious items I might buy. Certainly not a whore, especially after what I learned about today. No, I'd probably buy a balance beam for the backyard, or better yet, machine powered stilts.<br /><br />As I was packing up to leave my comfortable hipster environment the silent homeless man started to talk. Though, he didn't talk like a normal person. Absolutely not, he spoke like a muppet. Remember Beaker? His mouth opened near the top muttering words that no matter what, sounded like the word, "Nicorete". Immediately I asked myself, what does this guys "O" face look like when he's going down with the first guy's whore.<br /><br />Then I realize there are probably more important questions I could be asking, and I get the hell out of this haven for homeless hijinks. When I tell people Hollywood isn't that bad, I'm starting to believe myself; as bad as things get there, at least homeless people aren't plotting to take over the world!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6498942176472930258-2665251076953425641?l=www.tylerduckworth.com%2Findex.html' alt='' /></div>Tyler Duckworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05869909757554245063noreply@blogger.com2