theCDP.net

Dr. Forrester & Dr. Wily Will Rule My World.

2008-07-25T00:01:00.000-05:00

I gotta tell you, this week is shaping up to be nothing short of a soggy nerd dream for yours truly. After the release of the genre-defining The Dark Knight, I now get an early peek at the Mystery Science Theater 3000 20th Anniversary DVD Collection, to be released in October.

It's...it's beautiful. Now that I think about it, I'm positive that this is what was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. If I were Jules, I wouldn't have given it up to Honey Bunny, either.

It's hard for me to believe that a show like MST3K is turning 20 this year, mainly due to the fact that it only went off the air four years ago (in rerun form). I've always placed MST3K right next to The Simpsons when it came to the greatest comedy television of all-time, and in a lot of arguable ways, it surpassed the animated series. Even though I have all of the episodes on tape, I will buy whatever they decide to sell me in that beautiful tin case, for old time's sake.

Finally today, I present to you the first trailer of the all-new Mega Man 9 game. If you're familiar with the incredible Mega Man franchise, you'll know that the first 6 installments were released for the Nintendo Entertainment System from 1987 to 1993. Mega Man 7 was released for the Super Nintendo in 1995, and Mega Man 8 came out for the Playstation in 1997.

Ten years later, the Capcom team has finally put the wraps on Mega Man 9. Take a look.

Yes, you just saw that, and yes, that's the new Mega Man game. For the Nintendo Entertainment System. Here, check out the cover artwork!

This is one of the coolest and more unprecedented video game stories I've heard in years, and I commend the Capcom folks for embracing the Mega Man nostalgia and creating a brand new 8-bit adventure. Wow; what a week.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend. More new stuff next week.

The CDP Dark Knight Giveaway Finalists!

2008-07-23T00:01:00.029-05:00

It doesn't happen very often, but every once in a great while, Hollywood and the mainstream get something right. Absolutely, 100%, right-jab-straight-into-the-pant-bulge spot-on. I can say without a shred of uncertainty that The Dark Knight is one of those rare moments.

For the first time in over a decade, the biggest and most lucrative movie on Earth is also the best and most worthy of praise. The Dark Knight is nearly perfect; a film that is so above and beyond any 'Superhero' or 'Comic Book' film that it's almost an insult to call it one. Christopher Nolan and his ensemble cast of performers created a picture that, while I'm sure it will receive one or two, should never be followed by another sequel under any circumstances. They've put the finishing touches on a once-tanking franchise by devising the most perfect send-off of all-time; a movie that is on par with Titanic and the LOTR trilogy in terms of its cinematic experience and brilliance. It deserves to be followed-up by nothing; it's magnitude will be impossible to replicate in the Batman universe.

I'll say no more about the plot, scenes, tone, performances or storyline. It simply needs to be seen, and apparently, it's been seen by quite a few people, smashing opening weekend all-time box office records (suck it, Spider-Man 3!). The IMAX footage is breathtaking, Chicago as Gotham City is beautifully filmed, and Oscar nominations will surely follow for Heath Ledger and various other cinematic creations spotlighted in The Dark Knight. I'm also extremely proud of Christopher Nolan; a guy that once shot Following for a few thousand dollars is now at the helm of a film that could gross over a billion dollars. Good for him; he deserves it.

I'm fresh out of adjectives and descriptive paragraphs, so I'll close the book on this rant by posting the following photo, which accurately represents my unspoken feelings towards The Dark Knight:

Let's move on. We have Dark Knight theatrical posters to give away!

If you recall from last week, I launched a contest for CDP readers to come up with a new tagline for the CDP. For years now, I've been using 'Jumping The Shark Since 2004,' a phrase that was co-created by myself and CDP Original Gangsta, Paste. The time has finally come to retire said tagline and venture forth towards total Blog mediocrity and self-defeat. Achieving ALL, and soforth.

Before we get started, I want to mention a few quick things. First, the winner will receive a Dark Knight poster of their choosing and the distinguished honor of having their tagline grace the CDP sidebar until the end of time (or until we decide to do something like this again). I had said before that the First Prize winner would receive two Dark Knight posters, but I changed it to one because I wanted to recognize as many great entries as I could. I hope that the winner understands.

Secondly, the six finalists will be contacted by me via e-mail to determine mailing addresses and who wants what poster (First Place gets first dibs, and so on). I assume it'll take a day or two to sort everything out, and all packages should be in the mail by Friday.

Finally, it should be mentioned that I did the judging myself, and accepted no opinions or suggestions from any third party, including the Missus. I just chose what I thought was funny, indicative of the CDP and representative of the site as a whole. It was extremely difficult and I never want to do it again, so no hard feelings, okay?

Let's get on with it! Here are my Top 15 CDP Tagline submissions (out of well over 100; thank you!). The Top 6 receive one of the following four theatrical posters from the biggest and best movie on the planet, The Dark Knight! Enjoy.

#15. “So Good, It’ll Make You Want To Slap Your Momma!”
- Submitted by Wigglycito (via e-mail).

#14. “It’s Almost Like Having Real Friends.”
- Submitted by Hilbelink.

#13. “The Place That Gives You Taste.”
- Submitted by Kate.

#12. “Wisconsin’s Fourth Best Export.”
- Submitted by Maus.

#11. “Bigger Than Jesus And Cereal Combined.”
- Submitted by Emily.

#10. “Putting The Bomp In The Bomp-A-Bomp-A-Bomp Since 2004."
(Swears No Involvement In Putting The Ram In The Ram-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong)
- Submitted by Caveman.

#9. “If You Can Find A Better Blog, You’re A Dick!”
- Submitted by Ephland.

#8. “Your New Mancrush.”
- Submitted by the Slackmistress.

#7. “Rock Out With Your Pop Culture Out.”
- Submitted by Bruce.

#6. “Quirky And Awkward. On Purpose.”
-Submitted by Caitlin. (WINNER!)

#5. “Making Your Day Better Since 2004; Like Alcohol.”
-Submitted by Cargirl. (WINNER!)

#4. “Where Fun Goes To Die Since 2004.”
- Submitted by Maus. (WINNER!)

#3. “Awkward Slow Dances With Pop Culture Since 2004.”
- Submitted by Emily. (WINNER!)

#2. “Rocking Pop Culture Since 2004.”
- Submitted by Kate. (WINNER!)

#1. “Welcome To The World’s Largest Dysfunctional Family.”
- Submitted by Caveman. (GRAND PRIZE WINNER!)

There you have it. Like I said, I'll be contacting the six finalists by e-mail shortly to sort out what's going where. I want to thank everyone once again for playing along; I expect a few of these to end up on CDP merchandise in the near future. Congrats to the winners!

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

CDP Headquarters: The Photo Tour.

2008-07-21T00:01:00.001-05:00

I'm never going to be on Cribz, so I figured this would be the next-best thing.

Approximately three months ago, I noticed a change in my sleeping patterns. I realized that I was no longer waking up from sweaty, screaming, pale-faced nightmares about going hopelessly bankrupt and earning additional income by spoon-feeding broccoli soup to billionaire businessmen in the bathroom stalls of the I94 interchange waystation near Oconomowoc. It seemed that, for the time being, I was feeling rather secure in my finances.

This optimistic feeling had to stop immediately, I proclaimed, so we moved out of our apartment and bought ourselves a condo. The idea of a condo was a perfect fix for us, as we wanted all the benefits of home ownership, but had no interest in lawn care, gardening, snow removal or anything else that needed to be done outside. It was a no-brainer.

I'm happy to report that the nightmares have since returned twofold.

We currently live in an unassuming little neighborhood in the deep, busy heart of the Madison area, which is just the way I like it. The street is buzzing with children, young couples and dogs, each making me happier that I don't have too many windows that face the street. I can walk to the park without being bothered by panhandlers, there are deer in my backyard and the geese appear to be multiplying at a freakish rate. Despite all of this, I'm never less than five minutes from the most urban recesses of Wisconsin. At its core, that's one of the beautiful parts of living here. Well, besides the fact that everyone here gets to drink PBR for free.

It's true; Wikipedia it.

Anyway, I had been getting a lot of questions from friends and relatives about our new place, and I decided that the best way to shut everyone up in tandem was to do an online photo tour. If eavesdropping and making fun of my material items is the sort of thing that you get off on, then this is the post for you. Otherwise, you might just want to skim through the photos and leave work early to see The Dark Knight. Whatever makes you happy.

Before we get started, I should mention that the following post might also be hell on a dial-up connection; it's about 25 photos total. Tally-ho!

The Living Room.

(I was watching a celebrity golf tournament when I decided to take these pictures. Jesus.)

Right off the bat, I should mention that the bulk of the decorating was done by myself with the Missus' approval. She typically knows that I'm looking out for the best interests of the house, and my modern tastes offend her a lot less than the bulk of my additional tastes for things, such as alcohol, emo music and clothing from Express Men.

(Damn, Ray Romano sure got fat.)

We're rocking 5.1 Surround in all corners of the room, Airport Express allows us to listen to our iTunes library in any room of the house, and the TiVo makes sure that I don't miss a minute of the million-plus hours of MMA programming there is on Spike TV. We purchased Wii Fit last night, so the coffee table has been moved in front of the fireplace so we can properly rock the yoga poses without breaking anything.

The Dining Room.

(Following the infamous 'Cheetos incident' of 2007, I'm no longer allowed to use the MacBook.)

Both the table and bar were purchased from the same place, and on the day of delivery, the company brought the wrong table to our doorstep; some cumbersome, massive glass monstrosity that wouldn't have fit in our relatively tiny dining area after a million years of clever interior design and HGTV tips. The bitch of it was that we had to live with it for a week while the company sorted the mix-up out. Side-stepping around it was a nightmare, because I knew that if I managed to fall through it, I'd be the new owner.

(The Dining Room seats 6, which is funny, since I don't know 6 people I'd want in my home in unison.)

The door on the right leads into the basement, which I didn't photograph for this tour. You pretty much know what a basement looks like; there are a couple of windows, a water softener, some litter boxes and about a hundred storage bins. The plan is to finish it in a few years; maybe throw another bathroom and den down there, but in all honesty, it'll have to wait until I have an extra ten grand to piss away.

(I couldn't tell you the wood or marble used on this bar, but I do know that it weighs 3000 pounds.)

No photos behind the bar, but I can assure you that it's fully stocked with various wines and whiskeys. I even intend on getting a mini-fridge back there so I don't have to run over to the kitchen to make drinks. Sort of defeats the purpose of a bar. The vintage glass bottles and ice bin were given to me by my Great-Grandmother, which I think is really cool. The coasters aren't visible, but they match the Lichtenstein print on the wall.

The previous owners of the home put the hardwood in, for which I am eternally grateful. It separates the living room from the dining room, matches the furniture perfectly and gives me a reason to tell people to take their shoes off before entering. The first person to scratch it will be cut with my sharpest knife.

The Kitchen.

(Monkey towel, meet penguin towel. Penguin towel, meet monkey towel.)

The kitchen is one of my favorite parts of the house. It's spacious, bright, full of storage and is the first place you step into when you enter the house. It goes right out to the garage for easy carrying of groceries, and contains a guest bathroom (not pictured) that keeps people out of my own. I didn't like the idea of a bathroom in the kitchen when I first toured the place, but now I think it rocks. The sink is at least a foot deep and the fridge has more features than my car, although it's constantly empty.

(For ruining my shot, Tinker will receive a serious beating this evening. For shame.)

In this shot, you can get a glimpse of the front door, the stairway, the kitchen bathroom and entryway into the living and dining rooms. Hey, there's a cat in there, too. The Salvador Dali print on the wall was purchased by me for the Missus on her 18th birthday. She had nowhere to hang it at the time, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before we were living together. Also, it would have looked slightly out of place next to all of her Hanson memorabilia back at her parent's house.

The Media Room.

(Sadly, these are no longer alphabetized. Some day I will return to you, gentle discs.)

Now that I no longer purchase CDs, I fear that this is all the larger that my collection will get. Even so, I don't want to sell any of these; I like to come up here and rifle through them when I'm drunk.

(Lookout! Records had very frame-able music in the early 90's.)

Our Media Room is on the second floor, in between my office and the master bedroom. Those Simpsons photos were painted by the Missus, which I really like. I don't have a ton of vinyl (maybe 100 total, only 30 of which aren't in the basement), but I like to keep the better ones upstairs so I can bust them out from time to time. I have a USB turntable in the linen closet, which currently serves me absolutely no purpose.

(When the Missus is gone, I like to come up here and pretend that I'm something more than a drummer.)

All of those marked VHS tapes in the bottom row of my DVD case are MST3K episodes that I've collected throughout the years. Every episode, every special, even most of the commercials are intact. I'm more proud of that than my electronic drum kit sitting just to the right of them.

I'm more of a TV guy than a movie guy, so you can tell that my collection is lacking a little bit. In fact, the bulk of those DVDs are television shows. There's more crap in the basement that I couldn't fit cosmetically into this room (the keyboard being the most vital), but the biggest compromise was not being able to play my acoustic drums in my condo (I mean, I could do it, but I'd be arrested in mere minutes). The electronic kit is a decent compromise, and you can see that I've hooked up my stereo speakers to it for maximum and proper rocking power.

(I use 'anti-vibe' sticks, if only because I think that sounds dirty.)

I've said this before, but I'm a lefty that plays a right-handed kit. I also normally play double-bass, but I haven't yet hooked my pedal up to this kit. I can run it through my headphones when I play late at night, and the iPod can be plugged into the AUX jack, so I can drum along to my favorite songs. The only downside is that there's a lot of different power sources surging through this outlet, and I tend to get slightly electrocuted from time to time. Small setback for rock stardom, I suppose.

Bathrooms/Laundry.

(The toilet is in the middle cabinet.)

My bathroom is connected to my office, and it's more or less off-limits to everyone. I keep it as minimalist as possible, and the shower contains what could be the Holy Trinity of manly cleanliness: Bar of soap, body wash and shampoo. Nothing more, nothing less. On the counter sits only the necessities and accessories that I need to merely survive another day.

(Divert your eyes!)

I had to take a picture of our laundry closet, mainly because the front-loading washer is amazingly badass. I'm too scared to even look at it, and I refuse to learn how it works. It's one of two things that I flat-out refuse to do around the house, as opposed to the 50 that the Missus refuses. I consider it a fair trade.

(I made a point not to photograph the beautiful bathroom insanely cluttered with bottles of things.)

The Missus' bathroom was far too messy to photograph, so I just took a creative shot of her tub. She has a fancy-pants whirlpool in there, and I've been told that I'm not allowed to use it when she's not around. I'd rather not know her reasons.

The CDP Office.

(I'm a 26 year old man.)

My office also serves as a spare bedroom for those who...who am I kidding? I wouldn't let anyone spend the night at my house. It should also be noted that the Master Bedroom was not photographed, as I didn't want my other-worldly masculine pheromones to waft through the World Wide Web and spontaneously make every female reader pregnant.

(The CDP: Collector of gumball machines, lucky cats and heads.)

Although you won't see most of it, I tried to make my office a modern and mature version of what my bedroom would have looked like in 1988. Lots of toys, games and diversions, but nothing messy or out of place. In a way, I guess that's the theme of the entire house. Fun, yet refined in a completely unrefined way. Classy yet childish; like Stephen Colbert.

(PGA Tour Golf for the Sega Genesis is the most addictive game ever made.)

In the front corner of the room, next to the bed, sits this entertainment center that cost me $20 when I first moved out of my grandparents' basement. I can proudly say, however, that everything you see on the shelves (approximately 9 devices) is simultaneously hooked up to that television despite the lack of receiver. No waiting, no hooking things up and no digging for games (we'll get to that later); just the hum of electricity and a further shortening of my attention span. I daisy-chained everything. Why I take more pride in things like this, as opposed to...I don't know...changing the shingles or changing the furnace filters, is beyond me.

(A claw machine, WWE merchandise and a Japanese Pac-Man game. Ladies?)

This is my writing desk, and it faces a nature preserve (we'll see that soon) below. I mainly use this desk to balance my checkbook, mail letters and transfer stuff from my laptop. The view is nice enough, but I'm one of the few people that would rather open their windows in the morning and see a Best Buy mere inches from their face. I grew up in the country, and I left for a reason.

("What's the use in making fun of everything? We're all alone in this pathetic world anyway.")

Emo Tom Servo keeps an eye on everything while I'm away on business. Loves the Smiths.

One half of my office closet is devoted to a decent-sized hunk of my retro video game collection. The Wii and PS2 are in the living room, but upstairs is where the NES, Atari 2600, Sega Genesis, Gamecube, Intellivision and ColecoVision get to shine. Before I moved, all of this stuff was disorganized and in danger of being lost forever. Now, it's nothing but quick access for instant gaming satisfaction. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I plan on throwing a retro video game tournament at CDP Headquarters before the year is out. Better clear your schedules for the rest of 2008, just to be safe.

Oh, and the other half of my closet contains filing cabinets, important papers and about a thousand pages of crap that I never should have written. It's not worth our time.

(Mac will rule the world someday...oh, wait, it already does. D'oh!)

I suppose this is where the magic happens. As you can see, I was in the midst of sorting through a stack of CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Exchange entries when this photo was taken. Also note the Zoltar machine in the upper-right hand corner (that really works!), and the MST3K mousepad. My computer wallpaper is a photo I took of the unimaginably endless and brutal Winter of 2007, mainly because it reminds me to enjoy the Summer and accomplish as much as possible while I still have the chance. When you live where I live, you're on an 8-month window of what you can feasibly get done each year.

(Plants. Nature's plant.)

The view from my deck is a protected Nature Preserve, which is something I wasn't aware of until after we bought the place. The Missus tells me that not only is it beautiful, but it's also good for the resale value of the condo. I take her word for it, because every time venture out there, I get bitten by at least a billion mosquitoes. This Fall, however, I plan on sitting out here every night with my notebook, writing my next book until either the ink runs dry or the snow starts to fall, whichever happens first.

So, there you have it; a decent and in-depth look at about 70% of CDP World Headquarters. Direct any questions, comments or concerns to the Comments section or my e-mail address at communistdance@yahoo.com, and also direct any harsh criticisms of my decorating taste straight to my butthole. Thanks for playing, now get the hell out of my house.

Wednesday: The Dark Knight Poster Giveaway Finalists Are Revealed!

Because There's Nothing Manlier Than Anal Bleeding.

2008-07-18T00:01:00.000-05:00

(NOTE: I got home late last night, so I didn't have enough time to put up the photo tour of the all-new CDP Headquarters. Therefore, it shall run on Monday. Until then, please enjoy this flashback post from July of 2007, and to a lesser extent, your weekend. The Dark Knight poster giveaway will run until Tuesday night, so get keep those entries coming. You can submit your taglines in this comments section, as we received a brain-melting 215 comments in the previous one (a new CDP record); in just two short days, no less. If you need me, I'll be in line to see The Dark Knight. Cheers, friends.)

'I Can See Your...Nevermind.'
Originally Posted July 20, 2007.

I love the Running Of The Bulls. Sure, it's inhumane, humiliating and completely out-of-touch with modern reality, but it's all worth it for the inevitable goring that takes place each and every year. In some circumstances (like the one pictured above), the bull gets lucky and snags two people at the same time. On rare occasions, he'll even manage to hook up an American guy.

And, in the rarest occasion of all (as pictured below), he'll gore two American guys at the same time, straight up the butthole. Sometimes, even tearing their pants off in the process. Hoo-boy!

This, my friends, is the greatest thing that can ever happen in the life of a bull. No matter what, the bull knows that he's about to suffer an exceedingly cruel fate at the hands of a fruity dance-school dropout; the best thing he can do is destroy a few anuses on his way out. In a delightfully ironic twist of fate, the men attempting to appear macho and manly end up crying in a back alley, bleeding profusely from the asshole. It's one of the main reasons I still believe in God.

So, here's to you, Guy Who Runs With The Bulls! You wanted to prove something to yourself and any potential mates that might have been watching, but all you really proved was that you fail at life.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; never stop messing with bulls, guys. Ever. Be a man; let your prolapsed rectum spill free into the streets of Pamplona.

Have a great weekend, and sound off in the comments section.

MONDAY: CDP Headquarters - The Photo Tour.
WEDNESDAY: The Dark Knight Poster Giveaway Winners Are Revealed.

The CDP Dark Knight Giveaway!

2008-07-16T00:01:00.000-05:00

This Friday, Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight will finally premiere to a worldwide audience.

I've been waiting all year for this (and a good chunk of last year as well), and my IMAX tickets are secured as we speak. Nolan is my favorite current director, and arguably one of the greatest living directors on the planet. This film has all the makings to be the greatest superhero film of all-time, shatter records posted by the abysmal Spider-Man franchise, and even snag Heath Ledger a posthumous Oscar nod. Not too bad for a Batman franchise that was all but dead in the water about a decade ago. I cannot recall the last time I've been so hyped for a film, and the universal acclaim for this picture has all but increased my desire for Friday to arrive. It almost feels like Christmas to me.

Now, thanks to CDP Network alumni (and Warner Brothers employee), Reese, I've been hooked up with an armload of Dark Knight theatrical posters to give away to CDP readers (so remember to shoot her a thank you if you're one of the chosen winners).

The posters are theatrical-size; 27 by 40 inches with the reverse image printed on the back. They are in perfect condition and will be shipped out as delicately as if I were shipping a fetus cross-country. How you wind up receiving one of these beauties is another story altogether.

The contest to win a poster of your choosing (any of the four options displayed in this post) is really quite simple. All you have to do is come up with a new Tagline for the CDP.

For four-and-a-half years now, the official slogan of the CDP (as displayed in the copyright area in the sidebar) has been 'Jumping The Shark Since 2004.' I feel as if this slogan has run its course, and the time for something new is now. I'm asking the CDP faithful to come up with a new piece of history, and for it you will be handsomely rewarded.

Be creative, be funny, be in tune with the spirit of the page. Anything goes.

You may submit as many new taglines as you want, either via the Comments section or through my e-mail address at communistdance@yahoo.com. The contest begins today and will run through to Tuesday, July 22. The winners will be announced on Wednesday the 23rd.

First Prize will receive two (2) Dark Knight theatrical posters, and places second through fifth will each receive one (1). Shipping is on me. Simple as that. Five people will win!

So, get to it. Create the next new tagline for the Communist Dance Party, and score yourself some awesome Dark Knight swag in the process. You really can't go wrong. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party (Part 4).

2008-07-15T00:01:00.000-05:00

CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party (Part 3).

2008-07-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

Finally, after two weeks of sifting, listening, drinking, typing and deciphering handwritten track listings, I've managed to make it through all of the Mix-Tapes that were so generously sent to me for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Exchange #3. Thank you very much; I appreciate it.

I wanted to take a brief moment to spotlight the mixes that were sent to me, as a small way of saying thank you. Therefore, for the next couple days, I'll be doing just that. If you want to start from the beginning, you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 right here. Please enjoy.

Mix #11 - “Cover Me In Covers” - by Fiona.

The Skinny: Top-to-bottom awesome. From modern punk, to glam, to metal, to acoustic, to showtunes, to bands that don't even really exist, Fiona's mix never ceased to surprise while constantly bringing the goods. Great job.

The Highlights: A beautiful cover of Yo La Tengo's 'My Little Corner Of The World' that respectfully sounds like it was recorded about 80 years ago, Joey Ramone belting out 'What A Wonderful World;' a track that I like to play whenever I feel like killing myself, a token (and extremely sexy) take on The Cure's 'Just Like Heaven,' Scissor Sisters tearing up Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably Numb,' and the Spinal Tap-goes Folk trio known as The Folksmen pulling out the banjo for 'Start Me Up.'

By The Way: Speaking of A Mighty Wind, before I began shooting my 2004 mockmentary titled 72 Hours, I showed the film to my cast for inspiration. It didn't help, and the project was permanently shelved weeks later. I'll sell the rights for a flat fee of $60,000. E-mail me.

Additional Notes: Much like Heather's mix (see below), the layout and packaging was top-notch. She sent me a handwritten postcard from her San Francisco homestead, a photograph and a nicely laid-out jewel case. And for the record, I never tire of receiving photos of cute CDP fans. JT, I'm looking in your general direction...

Mix #12 - “Covers” - by Heather.

The Skinny: Another eclectic mix, another batch of complete winners from Heather. Every time I do a Mix-Tape Trade, I'm always amazed at how similar my musical tastes are to others, and yet, I'm always completely blown away by the new things that they introduce to. I love doing this for that reason alone.

The Highlights: The classic 10,000 Maniacs cover of 'Because The Night' by Patti Smith, an absolutely out-of-nowhere cover of 'Chick Habit' by April March that pogo'd my socks off (I secretly love that kind of music; Pizzicato Five is pretty much the soundtrack to CDP Headquarters), the Save Ferris ska cover of 'Come On Eileen' that I considered the Greatest Cover Song I'd Ever Heard from 1997 to 2001, the make out-tastic Nada Surf take on OMD's 'If You Leave,' and the Dashboard Confessional sing-along goodness of 'Screaming Infidelities' by Joanna Pacitti.

By The Way: Man, that Bangles cover of 'Hazy Shade Of Winter' really is badass.

Additional Notes: Without question, Heather sent me the most beautifully laid-out Mix Tape for the second time in a row. Complete with a lovely, handwritten postcard, an incredible track listing booklet and even a photograph or two, I was stunned and moist-panted when I opened up the package. She actually has inspired me to be more proactive about mailing things back to fans that are so creative in their packages. I need to go stock up on postcards and glitter immediately.

Mix #13 - “Under The Covers” - by Emily Mills.

The Skinny: Funny, sexy, nerdy, deep, intellectual and talented. These qualities not only describe a certain Miss Emily Mills, but they also perfectly describe her humbling Mix-Tape.

The Highlights: A rousing opener by the Ditty Bops, Tori Amos taking on 'Smells Like Teen Spirit,' and for the first time, allowing me to enjoy the song, Jose Gonzales' haunting The Knife cover of 'Heartbeats,' Minor Threat tearing through 'Steppin' Stone,' and Emily's old middle school band punking up the Sherry Lewis sing-along, 'The Song That Never Ends.' Her middle school band sounded better than my high school band, which upsets me to the point of drinking.

By The Way: Women are super-complicated and I will never fully understand them for as long as I walk this Earth. Emily's mix reminded me of that indisputable fact.

Additional Notes: I'm a big fan of Emily's handwriting. A lot of people seem to admire my descriptive-yet-robotic style, but Ms. Mills might have me beat in this category. Kudos.

Mix #14 - “One Hour Under The Covers” - by Cargirl.

The Skinny: I always look forward to Cargirl's mix-tapes. She always does a good job of turning me onto what 'the kids' are listening to, as well as mining the influences that inspired the bands in the first place. This one is no different, with superstars and unknowns rubbing elbows while covering timeless tracks. Damn, this Mix Trade was a good idea, wasn't it?

The Highlights: The Juno'y Sonic Youth cover of the Carpenters 'Superstar,' Quietdrive's take on 'Time After Time' that I actually put on my own mix, Jonathan Coulton's 'Baby Got Back' cover that reminds me that Mr. Coulton is a genius ('Shop Vac' is my favorite), and a string quartet cover of Arcade Fire's 'Rebellion' that would have put me in tears were I not such an emotionally sound person. Screw it; it made me all misty. Oh, and T.V. Carpio's cover of 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' that once again makes the argument that the Beatles tune could very well be the greatest pop song of all-time.

By The Way: I didn't realize that Cargirl was such a big Ataris fan. Not only did I used to be in a cover band that could play about a dozen of their songs ('San Dimas' was my favorite to destroy on the drum kit), but I remember seeing them at a concert in Green Bay that was attended by no more than twenty people. It was a darn good time.

Additional Notes: The track listing for Cargirl's mix was written longhand on stationary from the Washington D.C. Hilton, where she happened to be staying at the time. I found that intriguing for whatever reason. I like the way pens feel on hotel stationary; I sometimes jot things down for no reason when I stay there.

Mix #15 - “Cover Song Mix-Tape” - by E-Rich.

The Skinny: Singer/songwriters taking on timeless standards and solid pop hits; this mix brings all killer and no filler.

The Highlights: Ram Jam's cover of 'Black Betty' that I've always enjoyed more than I've led people to believe, Cake's amazing version of 'I Will Survive' (one of my personal favorite covers), Damien Rice's haunting acoustic cover of Radiohead's 'Creep,' Ray LaMontagne's take on Gnarls Barkley's 'Crazy,' and the Lemonheads bringing the house down with 'Mrs. Robinson.'

By The Way: The Rufus Wainwright cover of 'Hallelujah' is on par with Jeff Buckley's, hands down.

Additional Notes: Blank jewel case, straight to-the-point track list, great musical tastes, no screwing around. I like the way that E-Rich does business; he has nothing to prove.

Thanks for reading; sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

TOMORROW: The CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party comes to a close, as I review my own mix, along with mixes by the Missus, Kate and a six-disc behemoth by Smedley.

LATER: The very first photo tour of the All-New CDP World Headquarters!

A Lifetime Of Music.

2008-07-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

Over on Will's blog, he decided to make a list of his favorite albums for every year that he's been alive; a fun little meme that's apparently making the rounds as of late. He shot an e-mail my way suggesting I do the same, presumably so he could poop all over my superficial tastes and set the wet mass ablaze with familiar embarrassment and pungent failure.

Nonetheless, I will oblige and hope that you do the same in the comments section over the next few days (the conclusion to the Mix-Tape reviews will arrive next week). Bear in mind that this isn't a list of your favorite albums of all-time, but rather a list of what your favorite album was for each year of your life. I immediately saw the difference in the two when I got to 1996 and realized that I bought about 80 amazing records that year. My total collection currently stands at around 3000 albums, so this took me a little while.

Also realize that this is absolutely impossible to do accurately from memory and 100% reliant on personal tastes, so let's try to stay loose on the 'OMG!! I can't believe you didn't include this! BOOZERZ!' business. Just something fun to piss away the end of the workweek.

Please enjoy. Here we go!

1982
Favorite Album: Everything Falls Apart - Husker Du
Runner-Up: Milo Goes To College - Descendents

1983
Favorite Album: Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes
Runner-Up: War - U2

1984
Favorite Album: Hatful Of Hollow - The Smiths
Runner-Up: Out Of Step - Minor Threat

1985
Favorite Album: Flip Your Wig - Husker Du
Runner-Up: Tim - The Replacements

1986
Favorite Album: Reign In Blood - Slayer
Runner-Up: Licensed To Ill - The Beastie Boys

1987
Favorite Album: Louder Than Bombs - The Smiths
Runner-Up: Pleased To Meet Me - The Replacements

1988
Favorite Album: It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back - Public Enemy
Runner-Up: Straight Outta Compton - N.W.A.

1989
Favorite Album: Disintegration - The Cure
Runner-Up: Energy - Operation Ivy
Honorable Mention: Doolittle - The Pixies

1990
Favorite Album: 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours - Green Day
Runner-Up: Allroy Saves - ALL

1991
Favorite Album: Loveless - My Bloody Valentine
Runner-Up: Nevermind - Nirvana

1992
Favorite Album: Rage Against The Machine - Rage Against The Machine
Runner-Up: Kerplunk! - Green Day

1993
Favorite Album: Siamese Dream - The Smashing Pumpkins
Runner-Up: August And Everything After - Counting Crows
Honorable Mention: Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) - Wu-Tang Clan

1994
Favorite Album: Dookie - Green Day
Runner-Up: Weezer ('The Blue Album') - Weezer
Honorable Mention: The Downward Spiral - Nine Inch Nails

1995
Favorite Album: Insomniac - Green Day
Runner-Up: Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness - The Smashing Pumpkins

1996
Favorite Album: Pinkerton - Weezer
Runner-Up: All Eyez On Me - 2Pac
Honorable Mention: 1977 - Ash

1997
Favorite Album: Whatever And Ever Amen - Ben Folds Five
Runner-Up: The Colour And The Shape - Foo Fighters
Honorable Mention: Anywhere But Here - The Ataris

1998
Favorite Album: Hello Rockview - Less Than Jake
Runner-Up: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
Honorable Mention: Keasbey Nights - Catch 22

1999
Favorite Album: Through Being Cool - Saves The Day
Runner-Up: Something To Write Home About - The Get Up Kids
Honorable Mention: Clarity - Jimmy Eat World

2000
Favorite Album: Relationship Of Command - At The Drive In
Runner-Up: Left And Leaving - The Weakerthans

2001
Favorite Album: Stay What You Are - Saves The Day
Runner-Up: The Moon Is Down - Further Seems Forever

2002
Favorite Album: For Young Electric Pop! - Polysics
Runner-Up: You Forgot It In People - Broken Social Scene
Honorable Mention: Dial-A-Song - They Might Be Giants

2003
Favorite Album: Reconstruction Site - The Weakerthans

Runner-Up: Give Up - The Postal Service
Honorable Mention: Frengers - Mew

2004
Favorite Album: Funeral - Arcade Fire
Runner-Up: Poison Arrows - Communique
Honorable Mention: Satanic Panic In The Attic - Of Montreal

2005
Favorite Album: The Sunlandic Twins - Of Montreal
Runner-Up: Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
Honorable Mention: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!

2006
Favorite Album: Cum Laude! - The Velvet Teen
Runner-Up: Audition - P.O.S.
Honorable Mention: And The Glass-Handed Kites - Mew

2007
Favorite Album: Neon Bible - Arcade Fire
Runner-Up: Reunion Tour - The Weakerthans

Sound off in the comments section, share your picks and enjoy your weekend.

CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party (Part 2).

2008-07-10T00:01:00.023-05:00

Finally, after two weeks of sifting, listening, drinking, typing and deciphering handwritten track listings, I've managed to make it through all of the Mix-Tapes that were so generously sent to me for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Exchange #3. Thank you very much; I appreciate it.

I wanted to take a brief moment to spotlight the mixes that were sent to me, as a small way of saying thank you. Therefore, for the remainder of the week, I'll be doing just that. Please enjoy.

Mix #6 - "Killer Sandbox Covers" - by Benjamin.

The Skinny: Another slice of the Killer Sandbox pie, chock-full of bands that descended from the, er...Descendents Family Tree (ALL, Pollen, The Pavers, Drag The River, etc.); most of them doing covers of other bands from the Descendents Family Tree. If Fort Collins, Colorado were suddenly blown off of the map for some reason, I'm certain that Benjamin would never have a reason to purchase a new album ever again.

The Highlights: Saves The Day's pitch-perfect cover of The Descendents 'Cheer;' made more amazing when you figure they were about 15 years old when they did it, ALL's version of Kenny Rogers' 'Ruby,' and the Bad Astronaut cover of the Smoking Popes 'Megan,' which is one of the most perfect rock songs ever written, in my opinion.

By The Way: There is an awesome version of 'Jessie's Girl' included in this mix, covered by the amazingly talented (and therefore broken up) Pollen. However, now that I have a real-life friend and acquaintance named Jesse, I find it extremely uncomfortable to listen to it. Is that weird? Either way, I've always thought the guitar on that track was killer.

Additional Notes: Benjamin was kind enough to include a second disc, containing the original versions of every song on his Mix. This was unexpected and a nice touch for the collector nerd in me. I especially got a kick out of hearing the original, French version of 'Seasons in the Sun.'

Mix #7 - "Covers From Caveman: Vol. 1" - by Caveman.

The Skinny: Some classic covers that became more famous than the originals, a few new takes on truly iconic groups and only a couple ironic moments make for a very well-rounded CD, considering that there are only 11 tracks on it.

The Highlights: The Polyphonic Spree's version of David Bowie's 'Five Years' and the brilliance of Jimi Hendrix on 'All Along The Watchtower.'

By The Way: I had no idea that the Beatles covered 'Twist And Shout.' Guess I'm an idiot.

Additional Notes: Caveman has promised me that 'Volume 2' will arrive to CDP Headquarters any day now. As a way to tide me and the Missus over, he sent along a box of Mike-N-Ikes, which the Missus heartily consumed without sharing.

Mix #8 - "Covers You Know By Heart" - by Mike Hoss.

The Skinny: Mike likes good, solid music, written by good, solid songwriters, and it always shows in his mixes. There isn't a loser in the bunch, here; these are covers of influential songs by bands that are even more influential.

The Highlights: Josie Cotton's saccharine-infused cover of 'Sheena Is A Punk Rocker,' featuring a children's choir and handclaps galore, Ben Folds Five managing to make 'Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head' even more beautiful, and Teenage Fanclub doing what they do best on 'Mr. Tambourine Man.'

By The Way: This mix is a whopping 19 tracks that last a shade over 80 minutes; that's a spicy meatball. Also, he mistakenly wrote that Weezer covered 'Uptown Girl,' when it was, in fact, Me First & The Gimme Gimmes. This saddened me, because I thought I was about to hear an extremely obscure Weezer cover of a Billy Joel song.

Additional Notes: Hoss tells me that he had thought of the 'Cover Mix' idea before I even presented it as the theme for Mix Trade #3, and was pretty much finished with it instantly. I believe him, but I hope that he also comes up with a decent idea for Mix Trade #4, because I'm tapped*.

(*I already have an idea for Mix Trade #4; no e-mails, please.)

Mix #9 - "Don't Worry, Matt - I Got You Covered!" - by Reese.

The Skinny: Mix-Tape Exchange rookie Reese hit the ground running, showcasing a wide array of genres, bands and covers. Risks were taken, respectable status was achieved and the crowd went wild. The beats were driven and it was loaded with soul and overall positive vibes.

The Highlights: Not one, but two tracks by The English Beat! Reese likes second-wave ska! I love this girl! Also, a dreamy cover of the Smiths' 'Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before' by Mark Ronson and a Def Leppard cover of Blondie's 'Hanging On The Telephone,' which marks the first Def Leppard song I've ever enjoyed.

By The Way: Her mix was titled as such, because Matt was the original recipient of her mix. That, or she thinks that my name is Matt. It's all good.

Additional Notes: Reese is sending me and the Missus a couple of The Dark Knight theatrical posters, the mere thought of which is dampening my pants as I type this.

Mix #10 - "Mixalicious" - by Hilbelink.

The Skinny: A lot of fun, a lot of ska, a lot of late 90's punk bands covering late 80's new wave bands. Right up my alley.

The Highlights: An absolutely stellar cover of 'Enjoy The Silence' by Failure, Reel Big Fish making 'Hungry Like The Wolf' hilarious, and a Save Ferris version of 'Come On Eileen' that is unapologetically one of my favorite covers of all-time. Sonic Youth's cover of 'Sexual Healing' was pretty rad, too.

By The Way: Depeche Mode and Duran Duran covers account for 8 of the disc's 21 tracks. I also personally own 16 of the 21 tracks, thus making it impossible for me to accurately review said mix.

Additional Notes: "Do you have the new Depeche Mode album?" "Yeah...but it sucks!"

Thanks much for reading; sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

TOMORROW: 5 MORE MIX-TAPE REVIEWS.

CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party (Part 1).

2008-07-09T00:01:00.002-05:00

Finally, after two weeks of sifting, listening, drinking, typing and deciphering handwritten track listings, I've managed to make it through all of the Mix-Tapes that were so generously sent to me for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Exchange #3. Thank you very much; I appreciate it.

I wanted to take a brief moment to spotlight the mixes that were sent to me, as a small way of saying thank you. Therefore, for the remainder of the week, I'll be doing just that. Please enjoy.

Mix #1 - “Covers” - by Domsar.

The Skinny: Heavy on acoustic, live and bootleg performances of mostly modern classics, the mood ebbs and flows with covers both heartfelt and tongue-in-cheek. I don’t know how Domsar manages to throw such a ‘Milwaukee feel’ into all of his mixes, let alone a collection of covers, but he’s done it again.

The Highlights: Goldspot’s version of Modest Mouse’s ‘Float On,’ My Brightest Diamond belting out Nina Simone’s ‘Feeling Good,’ the Carleton Singing Knights a cappella rendering of Sufjan Stevens’ ‘Chicago,’ and the William Shatner/Joe Jackson take on the amazing Pulp track, ‘Common People.’

By The Way: I should also mention The Corrs live performance of R.E.M.’s ‘Everybody Hurts,’ but the track itself is so monumentally beautiful that it’s damn-near considered cheating to cover it. It's like David Archuleta singing 'Imagine' during the American Idol finale; borderline unfair on all levels.

Additional Notes: There were two Richard Cheese tracks on this mix; an artist that showed up more often than even Me First & The Gimme Gimmes as far as ‘mandatory ironic cover songs’ went. Domsar is a really nice guy; I'll see to it that we see a Brewers game together by the end of the season.

Mix #2 - “Lizzle To Ma Cizzles” - by Carrot Duff.

The Skinny: A broad mix of big songs covered by mostly big bands.

The Highlights: A reggae cover of Radiohead’s ‘Karma Police’ by Easy Star All-Stars, the timeless ‘Man Who Sold The World’ performance by Nirvana, and a beautiful acoustic version of ‘Hey Ya!’ by Obadiah Parker.

By The Way: There was a Stevie Ray Vaughan cover on this mix, but I skipped it with extreme prejudice, due to fact that Stevie Ray Vaughan is AIDS to my ears. Also, Johnny Cash’s cover of ‘One’ is a combination on par with Peanut Butter and Jelly in terms of absolute devestating perfection.

Additional Notes: Carrot Duff included a handwritten note, essentially mocking the fact that he has Sugar Puffs breakfast cereal as his house, and I do not. Duff, I will be checking the CDP PO Box daily in anticipation.

Mix #3 - “The Covers Project” - by FeverBlue.

The Skinny: A very eclectic sampling of genres, bands and styles across the board; plenty of classics intertwined with groups I’ve never heard of before, somehow culminating in an above-average mood and theme.

The Highlights: Petra Haden’s wide-eyed and adorable version of ‘I Don’t Wanna Grow Up,’ the Smashing Pumpkins’ well-known version of ‘Landslide,’ a back-to-back pairing of the Talking Heads and Siouxie & The Banshees, and the dreamy closing number of ‘I Melt With You’ by Nouvelle Vague.

By The Way: FeverBlue included the Bangles’ cover of ‘Hazy Shade of Winter,’ which absolutely made my day. I’ve always been an unapologetic fan of this track; that guitar lick with the pounding snare is freaking badass. Why it hasn't yet shown up in a Guitar Hero or Rock Band game is beyond me.

Additional Notes: FeverBlue accompanied his mix with a handwritten postcard, and I appreciated that. It took me a half hour to decipher what he had written, but the sentiment was just the same.

Mix #4 - “Sherry’s Cover Mix” - by Sherry.

The Skinny: A heaping helping of 90’s alternative bands covering classic influences from all over the radar.

The Highlights: The Muffs’ popular version of Kim Wilde’s ‘Kids In America,’ Leslie Feist tackling the Bee Gee’s ‘Inside and Out’ in spectacular fashion, and Letters to Cleo sexing up the Cheap Trick standard, ‘I Want You To Want Me.’ This album featured more female artists than I’ve willingly listened to in months.

By The Way: Much like my bashing of Stevie Ray Vaughan, I’ll continue to gain no friends by mentioning that Janis Joplin means absolutely nothing to me, nor does her ‘Me & Bobby McGee’ cover. I honestly think that she was horrendously overrated and probably smelled like crap.

Additional Notes: Sherry listens to a lot of chick music and John Mayer. I still don’t know what to make of this.

Mix #5 - “Untitled” - by John Jenkel.

The Skinny: A pop-punk heavy mix, loaded with a lot of fun, tongue-in-cheek and up-tempo classic cover goodness. Perfect for a drunken summer deck party.

The Highlights: An inspired (and hilarious) cover of ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Dave Grohl for the Late Show with Craig Kilbourne, and various other 80’s send-ups by the likes of Pennywise, the Ataris, Gob and Good Riddance.

By The Way: This mix contained yet another cover of ‘I Melt With You,’ officially making it one of the most-covered songs I’ve ever heard. I mind this none, however, as it is a great song.

Additional Notes: I made a last-minute exception to let John into the trade, after his brother pleaded with me for about an hour to include him. He wasn't supposed to know that.

Thanks much for reading; sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

TOMORROW: 5 MORE MIX-TAPE REVIEWS.

Welcome To Devil's Lake. Go To Hell (Redux).

2008-07-07T00:01:00.001-05:00

(I want to let everyone know that your favorite Blogger Boy is doing okay, but he has some things that he needs to work out right now. Until he gets his mind right, please enjoy this CDP Flashback Post from July 5, 2007. Thank you, and please take a moment to join the CDP Blog Network on Facebook.)

I may be stating the obvious here, but I've never been a huge fan of Independence Day. I don't like fireworks, I don't like going outside in July, and I'm merely tolerating America on a day-to-day basis. To me, it's just another paid holiday. But yesterday, me and the Missus (along with Ben & Sherry) headed out to Devil's Lake State Park for an afternoon of grilling, drinking and throwing pine cones at crows.

The drive through southern Wisconsin was beautiful as always, taking in incredible hillsides and other Ice Age artifacts along the way. True to idiotic form, however, I assumed that we were the only people brilliant enough to come up with the idea to spend our Fourth of July at Devil's Lake. We were wrong, but nonetheless found a nice tree to set up camp under.

Ben got things going on the grill.

When Vegetarians grill out, it's slightly different than when most normal people throw down. Hamburgers become veggie burgers, hot dogs become veggie dogs, and steak becomes sweet corn. For as healthy of an alternative as vegetarianism is, I was more than winded after only 30 seconds of tossing the football around. The fact that it was about a brazillion degrees didn't help any.

I did my best to stay hydrated by sucking down a massive batch of Bomb Pop that I whipped up just for this trip. It's a refreshing Summer drink that consists of grenadine, lemonade and about a quart of Blue UV. At least, the concoction that I mixed did. It gave me the strength I needed to play a strenuous game of Bocce ball and eat over 5 pounds of both potato and macaroni salad.

I didn't wear my commie shirt for any comedic effect on Independence Day, it was just a coincidence. Also, it wasn't a coincidence, and I'm only suggesting it was to cork the cryholes of those who don't think it's funny. It is funny, and you can kind of see my right nipple in that photo. I bought it at Urban Outfitters, so you can assume that it's incredibly thin and more than a little overpriced. But that's the price you pay for wanting to look like a douchebag.

As I slowly slipped into a coma, we did some people-watching, which included no less than an hour of a severely overweight woman attempting to fly a kite. By herself. Honestly, for over an hour. I then set my car alarm off from 20 yards away when a little girl rode her bike past it. I was trying to get her to actually fall off of the bike, but I was still pleased with the results.

After most of the alcohol had been drank and the food properly digested, we said goodbye to Devil's Lake and hit the nearest Go-Kart track. If there's one thing more fun than driving Go-Karts on the Fourth of July, it's doing it whilst partially hammered.

Just the four of us had the entire track to ourselves, which we tore up like nobody's business. For the sake of protecting their egos and social status, I will not tell you how badly I destroyed the other three contestants. Let's just say that I looked like Toad and Toadette rocking the Daisy Cruiser in Mirror Mode with the Pink Kart (if you got that reference, you're officially invited to my next Mario Kart party).

Just a reminder; today's post is brought to you by rocks.

Rocks. Nature's rock.

It's times like this that I feel very fortunate to live in Wisconsin. We have so many different formations and varying degrees of land here, that you get to take in a lot of the nation by never crossing state lines. It's not perfect, but damn, I've never once thought that Wisconsin wasn't anything short of awesome.

After a long day outside, we headed back to CDP Headquarters, where we realized that Ben had left his keys back at the campsite, almost an hour away. This happened because they got dropped onto the ground at some point by accident. We verified this by zooming in on one of our photos, CSI-style.

Have a look at this unassuming photo of our post-lunch mess. Everything seems innocent enough, but what's that metallic object buried in the grass?

We'd better zoom in for a closer look. Can we get a magnification on this?

Damn.

Looks like someone's going to be sitting at my house tomorrow afternoon, waiting for their wife to get home from work. I sure hope I didn't throw my metal detector away.

So, Fourth of July week is drawing to a close, leaving me relatively unscathed. I got minimal sunburn, no hangovers to speak of and nothing but good stories to tell. I genuinely hope that your week has been as good as mine. If it hasn't, I guess I don't give a crap.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Have A Seat On The Communication Couch.

2008-07-03T00:01:00.002-05:00

Polysics, the greatest band in the world, have done it again. Here's the single off of their new, as-of-yet-unreleased-in-the-states-but-my-copy-is-being-delivered-from-Japan-as-we-speak album, titled We Ate The Machine. The song is called 'Rocket.'

To fully satisfy your Polysics fix, here are links to a handful of unreal videos and a couple of Polysics-themed CDP essays. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your Fourth of July weekend; the CDP will return on Monday, July 7.

Black Out, Fall Out
Electric Surfin' Go-Go
New-Wave Jacket
XTC
I My Me Mine (Live)

'Polysics Play Milwaukee; CDP Rants On Music' - 09/21/07
'Grumble, Alone, Grumble, Polysics' - 10/24/07

"Put That In Your Blog, Barbecue Boy!"

2008-07-02T09:11:00.000-05:00

Chapter 1 - 'Ladies Night.'

I want to send out a sincere thanks and gentle kiss on the neck to the 26,000 of you that visited the CDP in the month of June. This was a new record for theCDP.net, and I'm extremely appreciative and terrified. If I were lucky enough to meet all of you in person, I'd assuredly run the other way, certain that a full-scale zombie attack was imminent. I might even shoot a few of you in the head.

Apart from that, if just a small portion of you were to subscribe to my feed, join my Facebook group and say hello in the comments section, I'd be a happy and visibly semi-erect man. Thanks in advance.

Moving on, I also think that we've officially reached the gender tipping point here, with women triumphantly outnumbering men in terms of traffic and overall communication with yours truly. I credit this statistic mostly to my sensitivity, approachability, Pac-Man memorabilia collection and alluring musk.

Furthermore, I've taken a passing glance at the lion's share of my female fanbase, and I've got to say that the CDP, without question, has the most attractive and intelligent audience in the entire Blogosphere. Proverbial horn-rimmed glasses and pixie cuts as far as the eye can see. Thanks for spending time with me, even though you're probably only doing it as a joke to crack your friends up. I've been there a time or two; just try to let me down easy at the bowling alley, and driving me home would be nice, too.

Chapter 2 - 'Lump Sum.'

This week, I received some extra cash from my place of employment after finally settling on a budget, approved backpay and long-overdue raises. Where is the money going, you might ask? Well:

1. $39.90 to renew the CDP domain for another two (2) years, virtually guaranteeing that you can depend on theCDP.net for all of your entertainment needs until at least July of 2010. After that, all bets are off, and I'm selling to the highest bidder. The concept of the CDP becoming a hardcore porn site after I relinquish ownership is too funny not to pass up.

2. $200.90 on two (2) new tires. As you many recall, you need to have decent tires if you want to properly minimize your death potential behind the wheel of an automobile. Imagine that.

3. $87.00 for six (6) tickets to The Dark Knight's IMAX premiere on Friday, July 18. I don't think I recall ever being so excited for the release of a film. Leave it to Christoper Nolan to create something brilliant where there was once the rubble and faded glory of the Batman franchise. What few reviews I've seen so far proclaim the film as nothing short of perfect.

4. $37.00 for one (1) bottle of Jameson 1780 12-Year Whiskey. Dee-lish. I've noticed that, unlike every other digestible liquid on Earth, there are no Nutrition Facts on liquor bottles. Hell, a snifter of Maker's Mark might be bursting at the seams with vitamins, for all we know.

5. $50.00 for two (2) months worth of 'casual day stickers' at the office. I'll pay top-dollar for the privilege of throwing my khakis into the closet for the remainder of the Summer, and what's more, all the money goes towards the office barbecue. You literally cannot go wrong.

6. The remainder goes towards paying off the bar I purchased when we moved into the all-new CDP Headquarters, and probably a mini-fridge to compliment it. Walking to the kitchen to retrieve materials that will be walked over to the bar for preparation seems a bit counterproductive, and I'm all about efficiency when it comes to hosting a party and mainlining poison into my esophagus.

Money spent; disaster averted.

Chapter 3 - 'Pink Sweater.'

FACT: A pink sweater will instantly make any woman appear more attractive, no exceptions. Alternative theories will not be explored, and all anti-pink sweater criticism will be ignored.

Chapter 4 - 'Link Party.'

Here's what's going on around the horn in the CDP Network.

1. Pointless Banter is giving away concert tickets.
2. Jesse Russell remembers the Dead Milkmen.
3. The Lost Albatross fights for James Madison Park.
4. Nicole Hilbelink gets bit by a dog. Seven times.
5. Be The Boy celebrates Crappy House Day.
6. The Slackmistress continues her Nerd Crush competition.
7. Vintage Caveman recalls his Nerd Crush.
8. Bruce Dierbeck gets gored by a deer. Almost.
9. Reese cleans up her apartment.
10. Pork Tornado gets engaged.

Cut it. Print it. Run with it. I'm outta here. Enjoy your day.