notes to self

My gym, Part 2

2009-05-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I spoke too soon. Three days ago when Erin and I were at the gym together, a woman fell in the showers, and her blood scared another woman who alarmed us all. It was chaos, and scary, but I think she just had a bloody nose. Then two days ago as I left, some woman was laying in the entry way with all these people around her, putting a cloth to her face. And today, in the pool, this woman, who doesn't swim very well, dislocated her shoulder. And she doesn't speak English very well. After my shower, as I got to my locker, naked, 3 emergency workers came in to our locker room, men, to attend to her, and took her away in their ambulance.

I hope my mother was right when she frequently insisted that these things always happen in threes, because then I can go back to just enjoying my gym time. In all of these occurrences, the Y staff has been very professional. It's not that; it's just the feeling of emergency, the fragility of a body. The idea that something can happen any time. That whole thing about threes, I always thought it was just unfounded in scientific proof, like witchcraft, but I do hope it's true in this case.

My gym

2009-05-02T08:47:00.000-07:00

I love my gym, downtown Oakland YMCA. Thing I love is the community there. The people are interesting and friendly. There's the locker room people: Phyllis, Mz West, that Latino woman with all the pharmaceutical drugs spilling out of her bag, the older woman from my neighborhood, the tall skinny black woman who has the locker across from mine. And there's the pool people: Faz, from Iran - he hurt his back, and there's no cure, so he swims every day; Chris - he's a poet and plays keyboard, knows some old songs I grew up with, Laura Nyro and Association; Mary, a sprightly 70-something woman with a friendly perky energy who used to be a runner and has had both her hips replaced. There's also the really fat, beautiful young black woman who talks the whole time she walks with other black water-walkers. They kind of bug me because they take up so much room and walk real slow, but I just go around them and we've gotten accustomed to smiling a greeting. The woman about my age who lost one leg from the knee down swims every day, and has a nice smile. I don't know how she keeps her attitude 'up.' I dislike the water aerobics classes. I just like to do my thing in the pool. That's why I don't much like the lifeguards. There is some rule a person cannot walk and swim in the same lane. And that makes the lifeguards evil in my book, enforcers. So I walk in the pool, because I can't play around and learn how to swim. But water-walking is a great stretch for my back and legs. I always feel better afterwards, though I frequently get really cold later in the day. Guess it lowers my body temp. The Y staff is also interesting, though I don't interact with them much, just to swipe my membership card, and say, "Good morning." The classes are generally fun. I used to love love love the yoga class, but downward facing dog and child's pose were killing me as my arthritic hip continued to degenerate. I had to stop. Too bad because I loved the teacher Carrie, and the other attendees were also interesting. Especially the group from Creative Growth, the center up the block for people with learning disabilities. The leader of the group in yoga class, Gina I think her name is, she even competes in Special Olympics and is pretty cool, very friendly and outspoken.

I tried to publish this yesterday, but blogger just wasn't functional then.

Thoughts on Arizona

2009-03-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

Earlier in the month, we went to visit Erin's dad, Pete, and his wife, Ann, where they've been spending their winters in a gated community in Mesa, Arizona.

It's a little circular trailer park called 'Venture Out'.

They live in a postage-stamp size double-wide, with an "Arizona Room" addition, ie an enclosed porch. All the nearly identical trailers are neatly arranged fanning out in a circle, their fronts are decorated with all kinds of plaster animals, gnomes, plastic flowers, and various cacti. I decided if we lived in that eco-system, I would choose the palo verde tree, the Ocotillo cactus, and the delicious orange trees. Also jojoba, the female of which makes the oily berry so good for our skin.

We stayed in Mesa two nights, and I didn't sleep well either one tho I took Melatonin. The dreams! On the last night I dreamed I died (probably from hip surgery). Nite mares!

Laying in bed, I thought or dreamed long and hard about choosing to live surrounded by people like yourself, rather than mix it up with a widely diverse mindset. About how this is somewhat closed-minded and prevents some kinds of movement. But there is a sort of comfort in it, a reinforcement in feeling like I am, or one is, OK. Later, my friend talked with me about this idea and pointed out it's not just ideals that bring similar thinking people together, it's also similar income levels, similar education, similar resources, similar needs. In retrospect, in some ways, that gated trailer park retirement community in Mesa, Arizona seems somewhat idyllic. Everybody is of a certain income level, age group, rides around in golf carts, gets together for social activities, understands aging concerns and health issues.

I just liked the look of this hotel we passed walking down the road one day. (abandoned hotel)

Caged birds

2009-03-04T10:29:00.000-08:00

The woman at the pet food store said: Pets have the best lives. Well, maybe cats and dogs, but certainly not fish or birds. Fish have to swim in their own excrement. Caged birds cannot fly.

What a difference a year makes

2009-02-24T12:14:00.000-08:00

Oh what a difference a year makes!

I feel so much joy this year, especially compared to my raw anxiety during our remodel.

Believe it or not, we moved back in last February 28th.

What a relief! I am surrounded by so much beauty, my heart rests. I am grateful just to be alive right here right now.

2009-02-10T12:54:00.000-08:00

Tilden Park looks particularly beautiful in the rain.

This Thanksgiving, dinner was quiet, beautiful. We have decided we do not like turkey. Makes us both sick to our stomachs.

Castro theatre is a fabulous place to see a great movie, anytime of the year.

Erin's family came for a visit. Those kids are so adorable!

We went to Mendocino County to visit our dear friends, Paula and Mike.

The winter garden is actually full of flowers, spectacular in the dormant landscape.

Let Freedom Ring!

2009-01-20T19:23:00.000-08:00

To think that 143 years ago, Americans still kept human slaves, and 50 years ago, President Obama's father would not be served in a restaurant in Washington DC, this is a momentous day, indeed.

I Have a Dream

2009-01-19T14:29:00.000-08:00

Martin Luther King, Jr. (January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was a very great man. Even today, I enjoy celebrating Martin Luther King every year, with a cd of his speeches and a documentary film of his life. It's such profound timing, the first black President of the United States, a day after the celebration of the greatest civil rights leader, another black man. I remember when MLK lived, and when he was assassinated. The world still reels under the influence of divisive influences, but I am very optimistic the Obama election represents a wave moving in a healing direction, for all the future generations.

32-20 Blues

2008-12-31T15:45:00.000-08:00

Note to Will Scarborough, Pacific Northwest

2008-12-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Will,
No sorry I don't remember you, but I'd be most happy to make contact. Please email me chloe at sbc global . net with your contact info, and let's catch up. Are you buying property up there in Quincy?

ps: You mean that guy's name was not 'Dumboz?'
Thanks,
Chloe

Chloe Atkins

2008-12-04T10:27:00.001-08:00

Several people invite me to join their social network on the internet, for instance friendster was an early one, and most recently facebook. And I get a lot of junk email indicating a Chloe Atkins presence on facebook. So today I checked it out, and all these people are identified as Chloe Atkins on facebook.

Who woulda' thunk? When I was a little girl in the 1950s and '60s, nobody had ever even heard of the name Chloe, much less pronounce it or spell it correctly. Now it's confusing who is the real Chloe Atkins. I mean, if my name were Jane or Mary . . .

caveware

2008-11-28T16:59:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

Given the passage of Prop 8, I have to admit it’s been challenging this year to focus on being thankful. The days since the passage of Prop 8 have been difficult and painful. It was a loss for all who cherish fairness and equality.

The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community has faced the unprecedented experience of having fundamental rights eliminated by a majority of voters in California. There is a very good reason why, as a nation, we have not put the rights of a minority up for popular vote — this is an outcome which mars the dignity not only of our lives, but also of the democratic process.

But as challenging as the last several weeks have been, I have found many things to be thankful for.

The support from so many of our allies who have joined with us to overturn Prop 8 has been inspiring. Prop 8 defeats the very purpose of our constitution, which is to protect minorities and to make sure the law treats everyone equally. The California Supreme Court has accepted our case challenging Prop 8 and we continue to believe that the Supreme Court will do the right thing and overturn this unconstitutional Proposition.

Aside from marriage inequality and the feelings I have around homophobia in general, I am very happy. I have a loving wonderful wife who shares my commitment to a long and cherished life together. Chances are, we will be able to remain 'married' at least in the state of California, no matter what the Supreme Court decides on Proposition 8. We enjoy good health. We have a beautiful, comfortable, and safe home. Our yard and neighborhood are comfortable and comforting. We eat well, and are fortunate to have many interesting friends.

Happy Thanksgiving

Another Random Act of Kindness

2008-11-26T16:39:00.000-08:00

Our neighbor, Marsha Balian, gave us one of her cool sculptures for a wedding present.

Big Daddy

2008-11-25T16:29:00.000-08:00

Thinking of you today Adam

November 28, 1947 - November 25, 2005

Santa Barbara getaway

2008-11-19T11:26:00.000-08:00

Erin took me on a quick getaway last week to Santa Barbara. As we were driving in, the enormous full moon filled the twilight.

We stayed at the 4 Seasons, a big hotel on the beach with a beautiful tropical botanical garden right outside our room.

One night, as we were driving to dinner, we saw a fire start up the road from the restaurant. It burned for 3 or 4 days, destroying hundreds of homes and acres of landscaping. Later we learned that Santa Barbara County has no water rationing in spite of the drought.

Still, we enjoyed our little vacation.

My Hero

2008-11-08T11:03:00.000-08:00

This is such a good performance!

Dave Grohl and Nate Mendel, My Hero

Unequal Rights, by Popular Demand

2008-11-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

Well, the California voters have done it. They have changed the state Constitution to deny Erin and I the rights afforded to every married couple by limiting marriage to between a man and a woman. In other words, Chloe, wake up! All men are created equal except, of course, if you do not happen to conform to heterosexual myth. I can see why this makes me angry. I tasted full equality since May 15 of this year, when the state Supreme Court determined it was against the constitution to deny anybody equal rights. Well, now the constitution says it can and will allow special rights, over 500 special rights, for a certain group of people, and deny those rights to every one else. So I was a fool to believe the hype about equal rights. This puts me in my place. Equal rights and the ideas around full equality are an ideal, not a reality. Sort of like a balanced state budget, peace on earth, and do unto others.

At least our government does not put queers in prisons and death camps, like the Nazis did in Germany in the 20th century. I am grateful for that. But I will watch cautiously. In case it starts to go that way, I'm outta here!

Bridge School Concert

2008-10-31T10:37:00.000-07:00

Erin took me to the concert that benefits the Bridge School down by San Jose. It was pretty great, all these bands like Norah Jones and Sarah McLachlan, Death Cab for Cutie and Wilco. We had to leave before Jack Johnson and Neil Young, long drive home and late at night, but the whole experience was great.

Spanish Fish in a Sack

2008-10-24T15:34:00.000-07:00

Here's one to try out, Spanish Fish in a Sack, courtesy of Rachael Ray and Thirty Minute Meals, even though it takes me about 1.5 hours to make this. But I clean and cut fresh green beans, and roast my red pepper on the grill before adding it to the parchment paper. I use about 4 oz fish for each serving, and fresh local sable fish (black cod) when it is available because it is so oily and delicious. I also try to find the saltiest black olives available, even if they have the pits. And I cook it on my gas grill, as hot as it gets, for 10-12 minutes. So I never really follow a recipe. Still, this Spanish Fish in a Sack is so excellent, puts a smile on my face, and Erin's.
Parchment paper
1 pound ready-trimmed green beans, available in produce department, halved on an angle across
8 anchovy fillets, optional (I like the anchovies, Erin does not)
4 large garlic cloves, minced
16 strips thinly sliced pimientos or roasted red pepper
1/2 cup pitted chopped good quality black olives, such as kalamata
2 pounds cod fillets, cut into 4 portions (get thick pieces from the center cuts rather than tail-end pieces) Or 4 red snapper fillets, 8 ounces each
Salt and pepper
4 scallions, chopped
1/4 cup flat leaf parsley, a generous handful, chopped
Extra-virgin olive oil, for generous drizzling
1 lemon, zested and juiced

Before it's cooked, it looks like this:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Rip off 4 sheets of parchment paper, each a little over a foot long.

Place 1/4 of the green beans in the center of each sheet then top with 2 anchovy fillets -- or don't, 1/4 of the garlic, 1/4 of the pimiento or roasted pepper strips, chopped olives and cod or snapper portions. Season the fish with salt and pepper and top with equal amounts of the scallions and parsley. Drizzle extra-virgin olive oil liberally and equally along with lemon zest and juice evenly over the fish portions. Fold the top and bottom edges together and crease several times then crease up the ends of the packets, making a sack for each fish to cook in. Arrange the sacks on the baking sheet and place in the center of the hot oven.

Bake packets 20 minutes. Serve a packet per dinner plate and cut open at table. Pass salad or Potatoes with Chorizo and Onions or even simply some good, chewy bread to round out the meal.

Happy Birthday Dad

2008-10-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

I think today is my father's 100th birthday!
October 17, 1908 - 2008.
With fond memories,
Chloe

Death-to-Indigenous-People Day and I am stuck in war hell

2008-10-06T15:08:00.001-07:00

As I was out enjoying my peaceful sunny garden, the Blue Angels just dive bombed our back yard. How I wish they were not allowed to disturb my peace, those evil celebrators of war, horror, violence and oppression. The alarm they send reminds me it will be fleet week in the San Francisco Bay Area, Columbus Day, or more appropriately, Death-to-Indigenous-People Day every year. Usually I try to get Erin to take me out of town, far away from here. And then I let the mayors know, I protest by spending my money in another, more peaceful, and more safe location. But there is no escaping them this year. I am stuck here in war hell. I hear them circling the blue sky as I type this.

And, yet again, I demand to know,
What is their effect on the environment?
What are we going to have to do to repair their damage?
How could these people be occupied in a less-destructive, more constructive manner?

(see also http://www.chloeatkins.com/notestoself/2007_02_01_archive.html)

Random Act of Kindness

2008-09-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we had the 5th annual Kales Avenue street party, where the neighbors got together for bar-be-que in the street. As in the past, we got a permit to block the street to traffic passing between College and Broadway. Unbeknownst to us, the Out-and-About in Rockridge, much bigger street party, was scheduled on the very same day. Well, no problem, really, and the neighbors got together in the street. The kids can ride their bikes up and down without fear of cars, etc. Well into the get-together, I look up from my conversation and saw a man walking up the middle of the street toward us looking like he wanted to talk with someone, and no one was paying any attention to him. So I excused myself and went to greet him with a smile. It was a party after all. He said he needed to get his car through, and I said, no problem, we'd clear the way for him, which we did. As he passed, he gave me this beautiful vase.
I was all, no no, you don't have to give me anything, I'm glad to help you. He insisted. He said he does glass. I guess so. It's beautiful!

So everytime I look on this vase, I will be inspired to look for an opportunity to practice a random act of kindness, as that gentle man did. This world could sure use it.

2008-09-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

Wow so much has happened since I last posted photos. Even before the Slow Food Festival. There was Erin's birthday.

Sarah, our good luck charm, came into town for a visit.

Then it was my birthday. We went to Stinson Beach.

The mid-summer garden was fabulous!

We took some time later in the month to drive up to Mendocino County,
and visited glass beach. I had not been there since the 1970s, and Erin had never been there.

Then there was the Slow Food Festival, just to keep things in chronological order.

Starting in September, Molly and Davina got married again. Mark Leno performed a really great ceremony. They both sing beautifully.

Well, then Erin and I got married again.
We could only invite 6 people, because we had it at SF City Hall. It is so romantic to get married every couple of years. We do hope this time it is forever. I hope people vote against Proposition 8 and it does not pass. Funded by the Mormon Church, it changes the State of California's Constitution to deny lesbians equal rights by limiting marriage to between a man and a woman. If Prop. 8 does pass, I hope ALL the rights are removed from marriage, so men and women can still get married as they wish, but non-heterosexuals are treated equally in the eyes of the law. That's what is meant by separation of church and state, and equality for all, two of the major legal guarantees supposedly existing in our nation. Without any legal rights and responsibilities associated with marriage, nobody will have special rights. Nobody will be denied rights.

Last weekend, we got a preview of the new Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park. My two favorite things about that are the alligator exhibit
and the rooftop garden. Too, too, too wonderful.

Slow Food Farmers' Market

2008-08-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

I had a fabulous time today at the Slow Food festival at San Francisco's Civic Center. I bought little potatoes of every color and two kinds of organic brown rice - direct from the farmers. Got some beautiful goat cheese from the lovely Dee Harley of Pescadero. I was thinking I'd save it for when our figs get ripe, but I'll probably eat it today for lunch with this incredible green melon I also picked up. I spun by the Victory Garden. I got a giant cucumber and some endive. The lady even showed how endive grows. It makes this big root; I was amazed. I got Ghee, which is a sort of clarified butter, made from organic Straus Creamery Butter. I met the Straus family. They put in a cool electric system on their Pt. Reyes cattle ranch that utilizes the methane produced by their cattle to provide their electricity. So it prevents all that waste going into the ground, the water, the air. They are young, too. Along with my admiration for their forward thinking in energy, I told them how much I love love love their fat free vanilla yogurt.

I also got intervied by the Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Video Producer. I saw Don Sanchez there as I was leaving; he's a local news reporter, getting ready to report. As I walked by, some tall skinny guy threw a beer on the ground at their feet and it exploded everywhere. Don was not even rattled. It was getting quite crowded by that time, and I was hot. As I left, I photographed a bus that had another bus upside down on top of it. But I cannot upload any photos from my iPhone until I upgrade my system. Sometimes newer technology doesn't make it easier at all. Certainly not simpler.

The only thing I didn't find that I was looking for was handmade salumi, or whole wheat bread. It was cool anyway.