Gifts for the Dad to be

Say What? Pay A Buck

2009-04-25T02:07:00.001-07:00

Say What? Pay A Buck!

For four years, I served as a vice president for a Dallas based marketing and advertising firm. One of my responsibilities was to teach monthly sales training classes with up to 50 students at a time. Our product was very, very expensive, and by no means an easy sale. The clients were very particular, as they were owners of large companies accustomed to doing business with salespeople with a highly skilled level of communication.

During our monthly training sessions, one skill that was taught, practiced and encouraged was the ability to more effectively communicate by using the proper vocabulary. Words were eliminated that created a negative connotation in the subconscious, as well as foul language and words considered vulgar. Think before you speak. Increase your connection with your client by speaking properly. Listen, ponder, and then respond. They were taught not to adhere to the old school thinking of mirror what your client does, that if the client uses vulgar language, you should too. Our findings were the polar opposite of this theory: if the salesperson took great care in their use of language and exercised a professional vocabulary, the client responded favorably. Most felt their salesperson would take great care of their account, which naturally resulted in more sales.

Many of the students asked what constituted improper language. I would usually reply, if you have to repent about it, dont use it, or what would your parents say to you about that word? or, how would you feel about your child repeating it? These discussions usually came up in role-playing situations. In many cases that would settle it, yet I knew that these examples were just part of bringing students to a higher awareness.

I knew there had to be a better way to increase the awareness and make superior vocabulary a habit. After a lot of thought and attempting various exercises, I began the Say What? Pay A Buck! program.

Its very simple. At the beginning of each training, I would detail the highlights of the program. No vulgar or foul language is allowed, no negative connotations, or negative words. If the guideline was violated and a student was caught by a classmate, the student would Pay a buck! Each training participant was given two choices:

1.If they didnt want to participate, they must state the intention up front and be excluded, no harm no foul. 2.The fine (bucks) collected would be paid out in one of two ways: the class could reward each other for superior vocabulary during the training or, at the end of the week, the fines would be donated to a charity.

The results were interesting: I never had anyone decline to be part of the Say What? Pay A Buck! program, and about 90% of all the training classes would donate the fines to a charity.

The program then expanded into a situational awareness campaign, which placed emphasis on certain situations that would arise during the training. In turn, the guidelines of the Say What? Pay A Buck! program produced some significant skills resulting in each class graduating with a higher purpose and confidence level.

So out comes the Buck Bucket, which is a large one-gallon glass jar with a handle and lid, deposited in the middle of the training room (a constant reminder during the weeklong training). In case you were wondering, the best class using this system paid nearly $75.00 -- in one week!

Now that the basic idea has been explained, here are the specific guidelines for the Say What? Pay A Buck! Program:

Words subject to a Buck:
Any vulgar words
Yeah
Yeah but
But
Whatever
Problem
Try
Possibly
Maybe
I dunno
If
Hey
Hey you
Can't
I'm busy
Um
Add your own

Situations subject to a Buck:
Complaining
Negativity
Bad attitude
Justifying
Laying blame
Arriving late for the training
Being late from a break
Not following specific instructions and/or guidelines Add your own

Words subject to a Reward:
Appreciate
Respect
Agree
Okay
Recommend
Because
Yes
And
Challenge
Congratulations
Add your own

Situations subject to a Reward:
Makes requests instead of complaining
Gets it
Great presentation skills
Great communications skills
Displays extraordinary listening skills
Sets good examples
Accepts responsibility
Going out of the way to help others
Displays out-of-the-box thinking
Has written goals (and proves it)
Admits mistakes
Add your own

Here are some examples of how the program would work:

#1. In communicating with a potential client during a role playing situation, the salesperson continually used the word but. Pay a buck! for the word but, yet what do we replace it with? Usually the words and or yet would certainly suffice as a replacement for but.

#2. A student would exclaim to the class that he/she has a problem. Pay a buck! for the word problem. Replace problem with challenge. A negative connotation is attached to the word problem, while challenge has a positive connotation. This is a much better use of our vocabulary and demonstrates a higher level of communication and expression.

#3. A student walks into the training class and registers a complaint. Complainers suffer the consequences and Pay a buck! They are asked to replace the complaint with a request. This obliges the student to abandon the downward spiral of negative communication and make a specific request of what they want (or see improved).

#4. During the middle of a role play, the student makes a mistake and immediately justifies his/her actions or attempts to lay blame on another. They must Pay a buck! for justification or laying blame. The proper action would be to accept responsibility and move on.

#5. During any communication, a student uses any foul language. Pay a buck!

Other guidelines:
Make sure that all participants agree, in advance, to participate in the Say What? Pay A Buck! program.

Some of my clients may feel that the Say What? Pay A Buck! program might be a little too much for their group. (This rarely happens). If this is the case, take it in a different direction. Purchase Monopoly money or funny money for your group and initiate the program. Distribute ten bucks in $1 bills to each person at the beginning of your training or event. It will be very useful in watching the Buck Bucket increase in size by the hour. Remember, the more bucks paid, the more significant the increase in awareness.

You can purchase inexpensive phony $1 bills from:
Creative Presentation Resources, Inc
1.800.308.0399
www.presentationresources.net

Utilize an on-site Gratitude Board or Acknowledgment Board for verbal rewards. A simple flip chart would suffice for this and post the results on the wall of the training room.

If youre not using funny money, your bucks can also be used for: Student drawing one winner for the training class Training class party have pizza and drinks delivered to the class Quarterly party for all participants & their spouse/partners

My personal preference for donating bucks is to this wonderful charitable organization: Angel Flight South Central
http://www.angelflightsc.org

What is Angel Flight?
If you or someone you know needs non-emergency transportation to medical treatment but cannot afford it, or if they cannot fly on public transportation for health reasons, or if public transportation is not readily available in your area, contact the AFSC Office for information about Angel Flight and it's ability to assist. It is their goal that no one forgo treatment because of cost or inaccessibility to their required healthcare facility.

Watch out for the class Buck Cop. This person is usually a participant that is more concerned with catching a violator than paying attention to the training curriculum and content. Each class has one, so make sure they stay focused on the task at hand and do not disturb the training.

Say What? Pay A Buck! can be easily implemented into the mainstream of any company or corporation. It can be a regular method of operation, something new and different that most will embrace. Remember, many corporations are void of personal development theyre spending all of their time on professional development. The Say What? Pay a Buck! program touches both sides of a persons development.

The subconscious is a very powerful tool that our clients, family and friends carry as well as ourselves. Take to heart the information shared throughout the Say What? Pay A Buck! program. Rid yourself of foul language. Be sensitive to what you say and how you say it. Keep your awareness at a heightened level until superior vocabulary becomes a habit and a mainstay of who you are and what you represent.
Say What? Pay A Buck! is an inspiring blueprint for what we can all do to rediscover the values that our teachers and parents have taught us since we were children communicate with the utmost of professionalism and vocabulary with our friends, family, neighbors and clients. This type of practice places you on the less crowded path; you separate yourself from the masses and all whom you communicate with will see the distinction between you. . .and the rest of the world.

Chuck Bauer is an accomplished speaker, writer, and author. He has performed hundreds of trainings and workshops throughout North America. He is a member of the National Speakers Association, Coach University, and Attraction University. When he is not training or writing, he is a committed bodybuilder and private pilot. Find out more about Chuck and the Enspiron Training Company at www.enspiron.cc.

Finding Direction: Finding Passion Series - 2 of 3Skye Thomas

Finding Direction
Finding Passion Series - 2 of 3

In order to find the right direction for ourselves, we have to do some soul searching. What is it I want to accomplish? Why? What kind of person do I want to become? Is it so weird to be in our thirties or forties and ask ourselves, So, what do I want to be when I grow up? What would make us jump out of bed excited and motivated to get the day started? Before getting into these big questions, we need to find out the roots behind our decisions. What motivates us to choose what we choose?

If you could create anything you wanted without regards to money, time, or education... what would you do? What would you create if you could wave a magic wand and it would appear? What would you have? Think on that for awhile... anything at all.... Would you create vacations and the ability to travel all over the world? Would you create an education fund for your children? Would you create your dream home? Would you create a worry free retirement? Would you create a new wardrobe? Would you create music, books, movies, art, medicine? Write down a list of things. Don't worry about how far fetched they might sound. Just make a list of all the things you'd do and create if you had unlimited means to do so.

Why would you create those things? Of all the things you would magically create, why would you want to create them? What's the root cause for you to want to create the list of things you'd create? What do you gain by creating those things? Do you want to create those things in order to be free? Secure? Independent? Understood? An entrepreneur? Loved? Creative? An entertainer? An adventurer? What is it you get to become by creating the things on your list? What kind of person would you be if you were the kind of person living out that list and creating those things?

Moving further back into the roots of what you are or wish to become, if you could be anything, what would you want to be? Don't choose job descriptions, choose traits, aspects. What are you now? That's right, what would you want to be, not who would you want to be. If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Were you a healer? Brave? Organized? A great parent? An intellectual? A musician? An artist? Thoughtful? Kind? A supporter of dreams? What would you want them to say about you? How would you like to be seen? Sit with these thoughts for a bit and then write down a list for yourself starting with I want to be...

As an example, my list narrowed down to this:

I want to be....

Loved
A healer
An entertainer
Secure
An adventurer
A goddess
Independent
An explorer
An original
Free
A supporter of dream
An inspiration

Upon reflection, I can honestly say that every goal I've ever felt passionate about rooted from this list. Without realizing it, I had made most of my life choices from this list.

By identifying your true motivations and desires, it becomes easier to find direction in life. Now we know where your goals come from. What's the root beneath your dreams? There is no right or wrong answers, just ideas at the core of you. We could probably analyze what in your past makes you want to become the things you put on your list. We could analyze how close you are to being all of the things you've listed. It's not important. What matters is that now you know what it is you're aspiring to become.

Now it may seem to you that most of the things you had originally dreamed of creating were gifts you would share with others. You were going to put the kids through school. You were going to go on more vacations with your spouse. You were going to share your music with the world. You didn't think you were being selfish. And you're right. You were not being selfish. It's just that everything we do serves us in some way. Every gift we give is every bit a gift to ourselves also. You give the gift of a college education to your children and you give yourself the gift of being a good parent in your own eyes, or the gift of being a supporter of others in your own eyes. You get the gift of seeing yourself as a good person. Give the gift of music to the world and you get to see yourself as a musician. You get to be what it is that you want to be.

By acknowledging to yourself how you want to be seen and what you want to be remembered for, you get in touch with your true purpose and what it is that drives you. Don't beat yourself up if you find that you want to be something that might sound stuck up or egotistical. It's okay to want to be liked, admired, respected. It's not like your root motivation is to be envied, or to be superior to everyone else. It's okay to want to be attractive, intelligent, prosperous. We've convinced ourselves somewhere along the way that it's somehow wrong or evil to want to be wonderful or to be successful. The truth is, most of us would give back in appreciation for our successes. Most of us would spend more time with our loved ones. Most of us would give to charity. Most of us would do more volunteer work if we really had the time and the means. Nobody ever writes down I want to be... greedy, selfish, and spoiled. We want to be positive wonderful things so that we can share our positive wonderful gifts with each other. Give yourself permission to become whatever it is on your list that really resonates within your heart.

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.

Finding Your Inner Flame: Finding Passion Series - 3 of 3Skye Thomas

Finding Your Inner Flame
Finding Passion Series - 3 of 3

Why is it that some goals have a fire and a passion behind them that creates an almost self-propelled drive towards completion, while other goals are left dead in the water before they've hardly even begun? What causes that level of motivation to manifest itself? Can we harness it? Can we predict when and where it will hit? The answers lie in finding out if the person setting the goal is in touch with his or her own deepest desires. Do they really understand who and what they are? Do they really know what it is that drives them?

Write down a list of goals and dreams you've set for yourself over the years. Take a nice long trip down memory lane. Think about the kinds of goals and dreams you set for yourself when you were a child, a teenager, a young adult. Look at what kinds of goals you began listing when you became a spouse, a parent, an employee, or a boss. Don't worry if you can't remember every single goal you've ever set for yourself. Don't make the assignment into a research project and a headache. But I do want you to spend a bit of time with it.

Now that you have your list of old goals and dreams, make some kind of a checkmark or run a highlighter over the ones that had a strong powerful effect on you and you couldn't possibly put them down. These are most likely the ones that you accomplished. If you didn't accomplish them, do they still haunt you? Do they still beg to be completed? Don't start counting and keeping score as to how many you followed through to the finish and how many you let drop aside. It really doesn't matter at all what kind of a success rate you may or may not have had before today. This isn't about that, I just want you to separate the ones that did put a fire in your belly from the ones that had no fire or passion behind them.

Now, take your list of positive traits and attributes from Finding Yourself and compare it to your list of old goals and dreams. How many of the goals that had you all fired up were somehow connected to the wonderful things we found are within you? If for example, you found out that one of your positive traits is that you are intelligent, then how many of the goals you were really passionate about involved using your intelligence? How many of them were about developing or enhancing your intelligence? If you found out that you are funny, how many of the goals and dreams that you loved were somehow connected to your sense of humor?

Okay, now do the same thing with your list of things you want to be from Finding Direction. How many of those goals appealed to the roots of who or what you want to become? If you want to be remembered as adventurous, then how many goals from your past were centered around an adventurous spirit? How many of the goal you were really excited about made you feel or appear to be adventurous? If your desire is to be financially secure, then how many of your most passionate dreams were wrapped around that concept? How many of them promised to push you in that direction?

You're probably starting to get the point. The items on those first two lists spark the flame of passion needed to carry out goals and dreams. The more items from both lists that you bring into play, the more motivated you will be to finish the goal involved. Each item adds more and more of your own personal drive and inspiration to the dream. Naturally, the reverse is true too. If you had few or even none of the items from the first two lists involved in a goal or dream, you probably gave up and quit out of boredom. If it was a very important goal with a lot of guilt or pressure forcing you to do it, like going to college when you really didn't want to, then you probably struggled a lot and really had to force yourself to stay focused and motivated. You probably found yourself saying that you ought to complete that goal or that you should complete that goal. The other thing that can happen is that some outside person like your folks or a boss was hanging over your head telling you that you ought to do it or that you should do it. Only those goals that contained your own personal drive and focus were a joy to complete and had a motivation all their own that nobody else needed to spur you along.

With this information in mind, you can really look at a list of current projects you're working on and see how many of them appeal to who or what it is that you want to be and how many of them allow you to really utilize your favorite traits about yourself. Is there enough of your own personal drive behind them to insure that you go the long haul and finish them? Do you need to redesign them so that they will touch your heart in such a way as to empower you with excitement and joy to keep going through the difficult or tedious parts? If you really have to do something that you don't want to, is there a way to bring pieces of those two lists into it so that you can tolerate the task in a different light?

You should be able to evaluate your future plans against these two lists and get a fairly accurate prediction as to whether or not you're really going to stick to it. Then you can invest your time and energy in things that serve you and your need to become someone that you feel is wonderful.

Finding Yourself: Finding Passion Series - 1 of 3Skye Thomas

Finding Yourself
Finding Passion Series - 1 of 3

We have been told that the things we don't like in our children are the same things we don't like in ourselves. We are told that we project our own flaws and issues onto our perceived enemies in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We stereotype people according to who they hang out with. Birds of a feather flock together. We're attracted to people like ourselves, with the same flaws.

To carry the concept further, those traits and attributes that we admire in our heroes are within us. Just as with our flaws, we are simply projecting our virtues onto others in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We are attracted to certain people because they reflect our own aspects back at us. What's that mean?

Let's start with an exercise. Without regards to a persons looks or what they do for a living, think about the people that you've admired in your life. On a piece of paper, write down a list of people that have inspired you. Who has touched your heart? Who were your heroes? Make it as long or as short as you like. Which teachers, athletes, movie characters, and politicians have motivated you? Who makes your heart feel warm and enthusiastic?

When you've finished writing down your list of heroes, shift gears and think about the traits they have that you admire so much. Are they compassionate, steadfast, loyal, happy, determined, or laidback? Go through each person on your list one at a time and spend some time thinking about their virtues. What makes them so special that you put them on your list of heroes? As you reflect on these people and their attributes, list the various traits on a separate piece of paper. Place check marks beside those that get more than one 'vote.'

My lists looked like this:

Mother
Daughter
Son
Victoria (minister)
Jennifer (best friend)
Jon (doctor friend)
Mother Teresa
Princess Diana
Daniel (musician friend)
Simone (artist friend)
Vivian Leigh
Ron (director friend)
Albert Einstein

No worries about money ////////
Giving //////////
Kindness //////////
Loyal ///////
Joyful attitude //////
Self-confidence ///////
Intelligence //////////
Sense of humor ///////
Follows dreams /////////
Believes in he Force ///////////
Not a quitter //////////

After you've written your two lists, sit with them for a while and reflect on the possibility that those traits on your list might actually be present inside you. The reason you love them so much in others is because it's a piece of yourself that you're connecting to. If you were living up to your full potential, wouldn't you be a lot more like the people you admire? Is it hard to believe that the things on your list could possibly be the greatness in yourself? Ask some caring relatives or friends to look over your list and see if it matches their image of you. I think you'll be surprised.

When I did this exercise back in 1998, I had my children do it too. We sat around the kitchen table and did it together as a family activity. My daughter was eight years old at the time and found that she is giggly, nice, giving, kind, a great friend, smart, funny, and loving. She already knew that, but enjoyed the confirmation. My son suffered a lot of emotional insecurities at the time because he'd been misdiagnosed as having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He was shocked to find that he is ice follows dreams, strong, giving, active, fast, smart, playful, loving, funny, believes in 'the Force,' laughfull, fun, and brave. I had been telling him for years that he possessed those qualities but he thought I was prejudice because I'm his mom. He began making a huge turn around in his emotional well-being by acknowledging these wonderful traits within himself. I found the strength to start my own business and to finally pursue a career as a motivational speaker and writer.

At the time, it was pretty easy to tell myself that I am giving, kind, loyal, intelligent, and believe in 'the Force.' On the other hand, I really struggled with the concepts that I had no worries about money, a joyful attitude, self-confidence, and a sense of humor. I wanted desperately to be like that, but I didn't think I really followed dreams and I wasn't too sure that I wasn't a quitter after all. Over the years, I have learned many lessons and have experienced enough of the truth of this to know that yes I am exactly those things on that list. I have also learned that the things I most despised in others was indeed the things I wanted to work on in myself. The rule really does apply in both directions.

As I've been writing this article, I've been thinking about what it would be like to re-do the exercise now. Would my children's lists be different? Would mine? I think my children's lists would reflect a more adult perspective, but I think they'd still show most of the same traits. I might add some new names to my list, but I suspect that I would come up with a very similar list of traits. We might uncover more traits, but I doubt that we'd remove any. It's most likely that the traits follow us throughout our lives. It reminds me of that old saying, wherever you go, there you are.

In finding our good traits, we uncover our true potential. We have something to live up to. We can measure our conduct and choices against the list. How much of our inner-struggle, like my son's, comes from not realizing our gifts? How much comes from realizing our potential and not living up to it? How much easier is life when we are behaving in accordance with our list of virtues? How much better do we feel about ourselves? How much better do others treat us when we live by these traits?

Jesus' Birthday: Sacred Children Series - 2 of 3Skye Thomas

Jesus' Birthday
Sacred Children Series - 2 of 3

I had visions of my daughter for about five years before she finally showed up. She turned out exactly like the little girl in my dreams who had haunted me all that time. I was so very glad to see that she was alive and real. I always thought she must somehow be more magical and special then other normal kids.

Her older brother had told her about reincarnation when she was only two years old. She would later yell at me during her tantrums, Next time I'm born, I'm not gonna be your daughter!!! I'd always laugh at her and say, Oh yes you will! You have to be my daughter forever and ever! She'd storm off to her room until she was done being angry about whatever it is that little girls get angry about.

She always acted like an old woman who was wiser than my son and I were. We had just sort of gotten used to the baby in the family behaving as the old one. When she was three she asked me one day, Do you know why I was late?

As I continued messing with my makeup and fixing my hair in the bathroom mirror I asked her, Late for what?

For being born.

She had been due on Christmas Eve and instead had decided to show up on New Year's Eve. Why were you late?

Well, She replied quite matter of factly. It was Jesus' birthday and I didn't want to leave early.

I was a bit taken aback, Who told you about Jesus? I'm not a traditional Christian and hadn't told my children anything about the traditional organized religions yet. We didn't have any family or friends around who would have told her of such things. How in the world did she know about Jesus?

Jesus is my friend. He lives in heaven with Michael and Cracker.

Who's Michael and Cracker?

She looked at me like I was silly for not knowing as she said, Michael's my friend. He's going to help me find my new dad. Cracker is a clown and goes like this. With that she started rolling around and doing somersaults and trying to do cartwheels. Then she stopped and looked up at me and said, They're still up in heaven playing with Jesus. When I get done with this life, I'm going back up there to play and I'm not coming down again.

Why? Don't you like it here?

With a rather bored look on her face she said, Yeah, but I've already learned all my lessons and I only came because you wanted me to.

Are you upset that I pulled you away from your friends?

No, I love you, so I came back. But I'm just not coming back again after I'm all done helping you this time. With that, we pretty much established that she was indeed the old soul caretaker of the family. We kind of already knew that.

Over the next couple of years, she would prove over and over that Michael was helping her to find her new dad. I was a single parent longing for my soulmate to come find me. In reference to my love life, she knew things she had no business knowing. She was told about things before they happened. Michael was always telling her secrets about the men I was dating. Michael was always right. She seemed a bit bored by the whole thing.

She made me believe that Jesus must have been real. I had never really been quite sure until my three year old talked of him without ever having been taught of him. She seemed so self-assured and at peace with the concept. She never spoke of God, just of her buddies and how they all loved to play together. She missed them dearly and yet she was never really alone. I would find her playing with Cracker and Michael in her room all of the time. It was all very different from her brother who had an imaginary playmate for a short time. She didn't have to sit and think about it. She didn't giggle as she played at having conversations with them. She was at peace with the fact that they were as real as her brother and me. Michael was her favorite and he was the one who told her precognitive things on a frequent basis.

I wasn't surprised that a child of mine would have a friend named Michael who told her things about the future. He was a member of our family until the ladies at the preschool told her that Michael wasn't real and she believed them. Once they convinced her that he wasn't real, she quit seeing him. At this point in time, she's not yet convinced herself that he's real and therefore still doesn't see or hear him anymore. A side effect they probably didn't consider when telling her that Michael was only make believe, is that she no longer hears or sees or emembers Jesus anymore either. By taking her best friend in the spiritual world away from her, they also took Jesus away from her. It broke my heart to see her turn away from Michael.

Now that she's older, she's a little bitter about it all. She wants to reconnect with Michael, Cracker, and Jesus, but she just doesn't believe in it all anymore. I tell her that someday, when she's ready, they'll come back to her. They're still here. She hopes I'm right. She's always seemed a bit unsure of herself since losing that deep and amazing spiritual connection with them. She is still a caretaker by nature, but her soul doesn't seem quite so old and wise anymore. She may not remember, but I hold the memories for her. The one thing I've learned about guardian angels is that they always look over us whether we believe in them or not.

No Invitation Needed: Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3Skye Thomas

No Invitation Needed
Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3

I had my first two children on either side of my twenty-third and twenty-fifth birthdays. I had always assumed that by the time I was forty, I'd have a ton of freedom to finally push forward with my dreams of becoming a motivational writer and speaker. It really looked like that was the way my life was going to go too.

I fell in love with a man when I was in my mid-thirties and he was in his mid-forties. We were very much in love and planning to get married. I actually found myself wishing I could have his baby. I hadn't felt like that in many years. We were discussing whether or not to have a child together. We both loved the idea, but we were also looking at the reality of our lives, our finances, our circumstances, and especially our ages. Was this really something to even consider so late in the game? Could we say yes to another child? Could we say no?

As it turned out, I got pregnant despite using two forms of birth control before we could even make up our minds if we were going to have a child together or not. We decided that it must be fate that we'd have one more. We agreed that I'd work from home on my writing career while carrying our child. I was nervous about having a baby when I was so involved in my work, but I was also so grateful that the decision had been made by a higher power than me.

I had been talking with guardian angels for many years by that time and felt a spiritual calling to become a writer and to tell the stories that my angels wanted told. I had been told which books to write and was working on an outline for one of them when a little voice whispered to me. It told me to go lay down on the couch and meditate because it had something to tell me. I thought it was one of my angels, so I raced over to the couch to hear what they had to say to me.

The entity told me that he was my unborn child. I saw a vision of a darling two-year-old boy with magical eyes. He looked at me like he had delicious little secrets. He said that he was going to be a boy and that we used to know him as Michael. He then told me what his new name would be. He also assured me that when they ran the tests to check for birth defects, that I'd see that he was going to be strong and healthy. I had nothing to worry about.

After the vision was over, I looked up the name he'd given me in the baby names books. His name is an old Celtic name meaning fiery. That made me laugh aloud. His father and I both have a decent amount of Irish blood in our heritage, and we both have always dreamed of going to Ireland to see the castles. Our very first conversation was about Ireland. Our relationship was very heated and passionate. Of course our son would have a Celtic name meaning fiery! When I told his dad that night, he agreed the name fit perfectly. Who are we not to call him by the name he chose for himself?

About a month later we started having ultrasounds and amniocentesis. At one point they saw something in one of the ultrasounds that made them suspect the baby might have birth defects. We would have to have all kinds of tests to make sure the baby was going to be okay. The tests confirmed that yes, I was having another boy and yes he was perfectly healthy and wonderful. As time went on during the pregnancy, he would come talk to me again and again. He was always reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.

One Sunday morning, my minister was talking to us about Deepak's Law of Detachment. I heard my son snicker and tell me that today we would be practicing the law of detachment from each other. He would be born that day. Sure enough, late that night as I lay in bed reading, the contractions started and my darling and I detached from each other. He was born with the cord wrapped around his little neck three times and it was a bit unsettling to see my sweetheart as my favorite color of purple. Within moments he was a strong and vibrant charmer.

He's been a rather high maintenance kind of guy. He is fiery. He is not the kind of guy who waits to be invited into life. He will show up when and where he chooses. You wouldn't think there was such a huge age difference between him and my older two children. He bosses everyone around as if he were the grand king of the universe. It makes perfect sense that he didn't allow his parents to choose whether or not he would exist and he wouldn't even let them choose his name.

He's turning out to be exactly who he said he was. A week before his second birthday, I noticed that he had the same hair and eyes as that little boy who came to see me in the vision that day. His eyes were all lit up and magical as he smiled at me in a way that made me think he knew a bunch of delicious little secrets. He laughed and said, lub you as he threw his arms around my neck. I whispered, Michael to see what he'd do, since it's not his name. He looked me straight in the eyes with an all-knowing look as he repeated it back to me. It was such an odd and eerie moment.

What secrets do you hold, my angel?

Reincarnation: Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3Skye Thomas

Reincarnation
Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3

Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of magic as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come across many metaphysical teachings woven throughout most of the different religions. It was very important to me that they stay authentic and real. I didn't want them to ever allow anyone to convince them to be something other than the beautiful souls they already were. They took to the metaphysical teachings quite easily and naturally. Often they already knew whatever it was I had thought I was going to teach them.

My four-year-old son asked me one morning, Where did I live before I got into your tummy to be born. He naturally assumed that he'd always existed despite his lack of memory about life before being born. It was just after Valentine's Day and I reminded him of those cupid style angel babies that we had seen in the stores. We had both really like all of the statues, greeting cards, and pictures of the little cherubs. I told him that he was one of those little baby angels up in heaven before I got pregnant with him.

He asked if his younger sister had been a cherub too. Yes, of course. He then double checked to make sure they had been hanging out up in heaven together waiting to come down. He seemed satisfied with the idea that his little sister and him had both played together as little winged babies in up in heaven waiting for their turn to be born.

My son had heard the stories of how I had seen visions of his sister for five years before she finally came into our lives. He wanted to know if I'd had visions of him too. No, just this one dream where you were running around peeing on everything. However just because I didn't see you ahead of time doesn't mean that you aren't a wonderful and amazing gift in my life. It doesn't mean that I don't love you just the same as if I had seen you coming ahead of time. He sat there nodding his head with this wise old man's expression on his face as he thought for awhile.

When he spoke next, I almost laughed aloud at his reasoning. So, he wanted to know, didn't this all mean that he was faster than his sister and had bested her in yet another race? After all, he'd beat her by two whole years. Yeah, I chuckled at where his mind had gone with it all, I guess you did. With that he ran off to rub it in her face. He always took such pride in being bigger, faster, and older than her. As far as he was concerned, it was proof that yet again, he was faster than her.

Later that evening he came back to ask me some more questions, So, if I was in heaven before I got into your tummy and I'm going back again after I die, then can I come back again and again if I want to?

There are some people who say yes you can and there are some people who say no you can't. They say you only get one turn at life.

Is it okay with you if I come back again?

Yeah sure, I shrugged, if you want to. I don't see why not.

I can come back and live again and again if I want to?

It's okay with me. You can come back as many times as you want. It's really up to you.

With a worried look on his face he asked, Will you be my mom every time?

Yes, of course, honey. I'll always be your mom forever and ever.

His face lit up with relief at the reassurance that I'd always be here for him. Then he asked, So next time, can we be farmers?

No, absolutely not.

He did his best to argue the point, but he never could convince me to become a farmer. I always told him that I was tired of working that hard and that I wanted to play more in my next life. He enjoyed a childhood in which he believed that he could be anything and everything he could dream of. He never worried about running out of time, because he had so many lifetimes to fill.

Over the years, he's asked many big cosmic questions about spiritual and paranormal topics. How is it that sometimes we see visions of things before they happen? How is it that we can talk to guardian angels that we can't see and yet we can hear answers? How come not everyone hears them? Who's in charge? Why is it that the religions are all so much alike and yet people fight so much over which one's exactly right? Who's right? How is it he could have memories of being an adult Native American warrior when he was only a young boy? Why is their music so haunting? How come he sees Celtic symbols in his dreams at night sometimes? Why is he so attached to the falcons?

He's in high school now and has studied many different belief systems. He's not so sure now that reincarnation is how it all works. He's open to different beliefs, but as a rather scientific type, he's really quite skeptical and requires a lot of proof. I encourage him to do his own research and find proof as to what really happens after we die. He hasn't really studied religions for quite some time now because he's far more interested in studying girls and bass guitars. I'm not too worried about it because I know that the seeds of spirituality were firmly planted in his upbringing and at some point in his future he will again look towards the heavens for answers as to where he was before he was born.

5 Pay Per Click Search Engine

2009-04-09T14:47:00.001-07:00

Richard Baker

Pay Per Click tips will help you target specific audiences, reaching over 85% of all Internet users in a cost effective and immediate way.

Over the last 3 years we have seen a growth in the Pay-Per-Click (PPC) Search Engine model. This was initially fashioned by Overture, but has quickly been followed by a whole host of Pay Per Clicks.

The concept is extremely simple. You bid on words that surfers who would be interested in your website's content would use to search on. For example, if your website was about gardening...you may bid on the words garden care or lawn care etc. When someone searches on the words garden care, the search results are returned in the order of the bids placed; so a website with a 60 cents bid would rank higher than one for 55 cents and so on.

Obviously, you will want to make sensible bids that your business can sustain. The best way to know what is affordable is to look at your website stats of visitors against your sales. If your profit last month was $1,000 and you had 400 unique visitors your profit per visitor (PPV) would be $2.50. If you had 20000 unique visitors your PPV would drop to $0.50. This is a rule of thumb as not all visitors are equal - some visitors are more qualified than others and visitors from PPC Search Engines are often the most qualified around. these Pay Per Click tips will help you.

PPC Search Engines are the best valuable advertising currently available. If you write a good website and expert title and descriptions with your listings, qualifying your visitors is a relatively direct task. How can you make the most of PPC search engines...great question and here are 10 excellent tips!

Bidding on low cost relevant words
Brainstorm of all those great little words that are relevant. These are a great source of qualified traffic. With research and creativity you can come up with hundreds of low cost search phrases targeting your potential customers for just a few cents each. When it comes to Pay Per Click tips, this is arguably, one of the most important to note.

Be Specific
Forget bidding on broad-brush words like e-commerce, gifts and shoes etc. Apart from being expensive they are unfocused...that means you will be paying for visitors who stay for a very short time before clicking away. If your website sells shoes be specific. Are they for men or women or even children? Do you specialize in leather shoes, maybe Italian Leather. Are you location specific, such as London or New York? Then tailor your bids accordingly.

Stick to Your Budget
Do the calculations and stick to them. What percentage of your visitors buy? What is the cost of product? and so on. Don't be tempted to start a bidding war against a Pepsi or Wal-mart! Set a bid cap based on your calculation of your visitors' value. You are only interested in showing a profit.

Pay Per Click search engine optimisation is a full time task, as bids change without notice. You can literally, sit in front of your screen and manage your bids on an hourly basis. Naturally, this is far from practical and of course time is money. Be disciplined and set yourself a time budget as well as a financial one. Will you monitor your bids once a day or week? Three times a day or even more frequently?

Bid at Smaller PPC Search Engines
Okay, Overture is the daddy, but prices reflect that. A visitor who searches at Overture is just as qualified as someone searching on the same words at any PPC Search Engine. Often the newer and smaller PPC Search Engines have less bid competition and represent good value.

Qualify Your Title & Description
After results have been returned. Make sure your titles and descriptions are focused to the type of visitor you want. This can actually increase your click throughs by 44%. Write your title and description so that they relate to the keywords that you are bidding for.
Often using the keywords in both the title and description will increase your click through rates. People will only click if they are genuinely interested - so you'll save money that would have been wasted from clicks of people who were just browsing your link. When it comes to Pay Per Click tips, this is arguably, one of the most important to note.

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Resource Box

Richard Baker is Director of Blue Fruit Ltd - a specialist Pay Per Click placement consultancy.

...overdelivering solutions at affordable prices

http://www.bluefruit.com
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Richard is an expert in pay per click (ppc) management and optimization techniques. He overdelivers affordable solutions for clients.

Why are Women Often Attracted to The Older Man? (The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon)

2009-04-08T08:35:00.001-07:00

The Sugar Daddy Sugar Baby relationship has for many years been regarded as a source of amusement to those who have never experienced the benefit. Yes, everyone loves to be spoiled and pampered, but is it really necessary to include the age gap as part of the package?

It's true to say that many young males, on reaching the age in their lives when pubescence has taken control of their lateral thinking, find themselves fantasizing about older females, often twice their own age and upwards. For example, it's quite common for a young man, still at school age, testosterone flying everywhere, to have the 'hots' for one or more of his female teachers, a neighbor's wife or even a pal's mother.

The consensus of opinion reached by many is that the attraction by a young male to a more mature woman is based around the fact that she has experience.. a working knowledge of the male anatomy, and a sexual prowess not to be discovered so easily in a younger woman his own age.

Although there are exceptions, in the majority of cases, his secret lusting remains just that, and goes unnoticed by the older female who still regards him as a young student or friend of her son.

Howerever, as the young male grows older, and gains his own level of experience, so his desire for the mature female wanes, and on reaching middle age, will frequently have his head 'turned' by a much younger woman.

All this is in total contrast to the attraction patterns noted in the life of the female of the species. Whereas the young female, on first becoming aware of her sexuality, will hone her intimacy skills on the younger male, but she will often be less interested in him as she gets older, turning her attention to the more mature men that cross her path. But why is this the case?The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon, whilst oftentimes the source of amusement for some, can in fact develop into quite a powerful relationship, with loyalty, romance and chivalry being key factors in the union. Many women note that a guy around her own age or younger, will not show her the same level of respect, or pay as much attention to detail that his older counterpart will be inclined to display.

It is a valid point that women are more mature than men at any given age, and its not surprising that by the time she reaches her mid-thirties, she already feels more compatible with a male ten or twenty years her senior, and left guys her own age, far behind both mentally and emotionally. Her more mature partner is more equipped to seduce her mind as well as her body. He will be less afraid of showing attention in public, holding her hand or opening doors for her. Happy to allow the whole world notice how proud he is to have her by her side.

Sexually too, he may not be an athlete between the sheets, yet he will feel the need to ensure his girl is pleasured well as a priority over seeking to satisfy his own desires. Her younger lover will no doubt give her he best seventeen seconds she's ever had, before raiding her fridge in search of a beer. Whereas in the case of her older partner, the foreplay will begin in the bar or restaurant with witty flirting, eye contact and laughter. Later they will enjoy the afterglow together, and whilst the passion may have subsided, the emotion still very much alive.

The term 'Sugar Daddy' was first used in the early 1920's and is described in the WordWeb Dictionary as A wealthy older man who gives a young person expensive gifts in return for friendship or intimacy. The sugar in this term alluded to the sweetening effect of the gifts, and daddy cited the age difference between the pair. There is no mention of love, romance or indeed a relationship in the dictionary description of the term, yet it is a fact that women are often attracted, even turned on by men of substance or power. Is it so inconceivable then, that a younger woman could discover happiness in a relationship with a guy old enough to be her father, who has so much more to offer her than money and gifts?

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Trevor Taylor writes of his experiences in the Internet Marketing and Online Dating site arenas. Sugar Daddy Haven - The #1 Sugar Daddy Dating Site Internet Marketing Online Tools

Discount Wine Gift Baskets

2009-04-05T18:10:00.001-07:00

Wine gift baskets are welcomed in almost every home and a combination basket can thrill that much more. Mix and match them?offer a treat of red and white wines, chardonnay, Bordeaux, cabernet, port, merlot, zinfandel or that special champagne.

Cashing in on the trends, many retailers, wineries and auction houses are offering discount wine baskets that will let you select a cross-section of wines at astonishingly competitive prices. They make treasured gifts of the latest and the most popular wines for the season. A 2004 variety or a 2001 vintage can be bought at a discount direct from the vineyard, and arouse much excitement and curiosity amongst your friends without burning your pockets!

Special blend wines, undiscovered Napa Valley finds or even the finest vintages can be snatched up through discount offers. Whether you wish to order a magnum, halves or a case of 12 bottles, discount wines can be tailor-made to suit your needs and budget. If you want to surprise someone with wines from Finland, Mauritius, Spain or Trinidad and Tobago, opt for discount offers to surprise and delight.

Brokers, retailers, and wholesale dealers of wine all offer discount wines at regular intervals. The trick is to read wine publications or be part of a wine enthusiast club so you know the latest on wines. Most members of wine clubs have instant access to discounts ranging from 8% to 20%, especially at new launches, wine-tasting galas or seasonal events.

Auction houses or suppliers source their wines from private individuals and global professional contacts. Many world-class wines can be picked up through these offers, so you don?t have to travel around the world to expand your oenophilic taste buds! Coordinate with friends or neighbors so that you can jointly pick up a large discount case and then share the spoils.

Internet auctions also offer rare, unusual wines that have a marked reserve price against which the bidding starts. While there are no minimum orders that limit your purchase of discount wines, there are extra delivery charges as well as the local taxes. Be aware of summer heat or winter cold fallout on your wine, too, before ordering your shipment.

Wines that may never have been reviewed or rated can also be experienced through discount offers. Share the joys of your complex wine adventures through discount wine gift baskets. You will definitely enjoy a long, full finish!

Wine Gift Baskets provides detailed information on wine baskets, wine gift baskets, wine picnic baskets, wine and cheese baskets and more. Wine Gift Baskets is affiliated with Bakery Management.

Baby Gifts Not Just for Baby Anymore

2009-04-03T13:07:00.001-07:00

So you?ve just found out your friend or family member is expecting. That means it?s gift-giving time. While it?s a great idea to get something for the little one, how about a present for those who made it all happen. There also gifts to congratulate the other members of the baby?s family.

There are wonderful gifts you can get the Mom-to-be while she?s expecting. With the high profile of pregnant Hollywood celebrities, modern moms are no longer hiding behind dowdy maternity blouses. Help your friend get in on the trend by giving her a maternity T-shirt with a statement that proudly proclaims her expectant state. You might consider a pampering basket of spa products, which is sure to be appreciated when the new Mom can steal away a few moments for herself. If the baby has already arrived, you might get her a piece of jewelry personalized with the baby?s name or birthstone.

Don?t forget about the new Dad. Get him a fun T-shirt with a saying that makes the world aware of his new role. Today?s hip fathers are willing to perform their share of the parenting duties, but they might stop short at carrying a pink diaper bag. Luckily, there are now diaper bags designed with men in mind. The bags are often in the form of messenger bags or backpacks, and come in masculine colors.

When dropping by the family?s house with a gift for the new baby, it would be thoughtful to also bring along something for the older sibling(s). A T-shirt proclaiming a child?s status as a big brother or sister is sure to get the older sibling excited about the new arrival. You might also consider a gift of toys, books or DVD?s that the older children can enjoy now, and that the baby can enjoy later on down the road.

The grandparents are often the most enthusiastic about the new arrival. Help them spread their cheer by giving a Grandma or Grandpa T-shirt or sweatshirt or a ?brag book? so they can show off pictures of the little one.

Baby gifts aren?t just for babies anymore. Share the love with other members of the baby?s family, and they?ll be sure to love you back.

Donna Morin is a writer for http://www.babygiftsandshowers.com Check out that site for other great baby gifts and baby shower ideas.

10 Great Reasons for Sugar Daddy Dating

2009-03-30T20:35:00.001-07:00

Well after all, this is the 21st century and the stigma of an age difference between couples is not such a big deal anymore.. Women who date older guys will tell you it has its benefits..

A growing percentage of females freely admit to prefering the company of an older guy on a date, rather than a same age date or younger. The present day Sugar Daddy is a far cry from his 20th Century counterpart, who would be more inclined to keep such a relationship totally private, enjoying only clandestine meetings at secretive venues. Today, an older guy will display his younger partner openly, publicly and with pride.

Here are ten powerful reasons why sugar daddy dating is becoming more and more popular within the online dating arena. The comparisons are based on age difference relationships with long term in mind.

1./ Generally speaking, a female will feel safer in the company of a more mature sugar daddy type date, especially on first meeting. He is more inclined to suggest coffee or dinner in a crowded venue as a first meeting place, or be quite happy for her to suggest a locale where she would feel comfortable. Her ease-of-mind, during that first date in particular, will be high on his agenda.

2./ Although there are exceptions to every rule, women dating the older sugar daddy types notice the higher level of respect shown to them during such relationships. The emphasis on romance overshadowing his desire to get her into bed is often more apparent. He is less likely to be interested in a short term, superficial encounter.

3/. The prospects of a long term relationship are usually very real, his playing around days are obliterated in the past. His mature mindset now focused on the many other aspects and indeed the benefits of being in an adoring long term union.

4/. The 'sugar daddy meets sugar baby' relationship is often centered around the male's need to protect and show support towards his younger partner. Many miscontrue this notion as a 'sex for favors' arrangement. Yet in his mind, sex is far from being a pre-requisite. His pride would be severely dented if he thought for a moment that the sexual encounters were brought about as a direct result of his demonstrations of kindness.

5/. Loyalty too will be of great importance. His desire to protect and support will be extremely focused, and once he discovers his belle, his eye is less likely to be turned in other directions. The strength of the relationship is an important issue and he will defend that vigorously.

6/. Baggage can very often be a problem in any new relationship. Whether it be family ties, ex partners or even financial issues, baggage from the past can very often deflower an otherwise perfect opportunity. The older, more mature male is less likely to allow external issues to spoil the possibilities and will often take his partner's external resposibilities on board with grace, understanding and a positive attitude.

7/. Sexually, although not quite the opportunist he used to be, his need to delight and satisfy will oftentimes be stronger than seeking his own satisfaction. He will take the time to seduce her mind, his idea of foreplay has evolved way beyond 'grope on the couch' status. The aftermath of those intimate encounters too will be loving and warm, with pillow talk becoming a tender part of the process.

8/. Romance is an important aspect of any dating relationship, but a sugar daddy will pay much more attention to the romantic suggestion. This is not simply manifested with flowers, gifts and material things, but the hand holding, public shows of affection or little notes left discreetly for her to find.

9/. On the maturity front, it is accepted that a female is far more mature the a male at any given age. Therefore it makes sense that she would have more in common with an older guy than one her own age. They will hold each others attention for longer periods, they will have more interests to share and they will be much closer as friends within the overall plan.

10/. The genuine sugar daddy will enjoy spoiling and pampering his young lover and take every opportunity available to make her feel like a princess. Not necessarily by way of showering her with material things, but generally taking care of her needs. Making her feel that she is important to him, loved.. cherished.. protected.

The 1920's version of the sugar daddy would typically shower his young lover with gifts and often cash, as a 'reward' for her company or sexual favors. These days the sugar daddy arrangement is centered around a relationship, a solid bond between two willing partners. The spoiling, pampering and protection satisfying both his need to give, and her need to receive. This twenty-first century sugar daddy sugar baby arrangement can often develop into a powerful union of mind body and soul, leaving the conventional relationship in the dust.

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Trevor Taylor writes of his experiences in the IOnline Dating Site and Internet Marketing arenas. Sugar Daddy Haven - The #1 Sugar Daddy Dating Site Internet Marketing Online Tools

Free Dating Site

2009-03-30T20:32:00.001-07:00

We know it sounds cruel but these adult singles want to buy sugar babies alot of gifts, we just have the right ways you should ask for them. These Romeo singles don?t mind spending bottom dollar, actuallly it is a nice way of making us feel like a Super Cool Fellow. We all want to help others and like to treat our sugar babies nicely, the problem is when sugar babies do not appreciate it. So there is a great guide for Hot young ladies that want to get everything they want and not feel castrated when asking. A great 10 step guide a from Free Dating Review review at Adult Singles Dating Network.

Request about interest on your Credit Cards

By asking a romeo about interest on a credit card and what is the best way to handle your credit cards. Your Well off singles will begin to explain that monthly interest can be overpriced and will begin to want to help you in getting that cleaned up. By wanting him to direct you about managing your bottom dollar because he is so good at it, you then can ask to start from a clean slate by him offering to help pay for the amount due the next month. After paying the credit card he can help you budget your bills and will offer some additional doughto get you started.

Find a Sugar Daddy that has just been divorced

Most wealthy single men want to make their ex questioning. All you will need to do is act pretty and go to the same shopping centers, restaurants and other areas where his friends will be. He will spoliate you tremendously because he knows his ex mate will find out.

Brew a Dinner and run out of Wine

Braise a delicious meal for him, and frazzle just about the sexies thing you can. Ohh tell him you need to acquire some food from the boutique and can you borrow some money. You Wealthy men will be mesmorized by your cute outfit and give you the black america express. Have Fun!!!

Wear a ballet skirt cross your legs and ask politely

Always show a little leg and cross them so you look elegant. It is much easier to give greenbacks to a sugar baby that is superfancy than gawky.

Go to the gym and be mesmorized

When workingout together be his personal eye of course be sure to wear some tight pants and propert athletic attire. Be mesmorized at how athletic he is and continously grab his arms. Sugar Daddies love that and it will make them feel like a Incredible hulk. By the end of the sunset a pricey tea break and enterainment will be yours for the taking.

Never answer your cell or Home Phone and tell him your cell phone sucks

This is a great way to recieve a new cell phone from a Single rich men, just tell him you have been meaning to get a cell phone or a new one, but just haven?t got around to doing it. You will have a nice pretty mobile phone in no time. But Becareful you better be a loyal sugar baby and not be using the phone for any discreet dating.

Tell him you want to get dressed up FOR HIM for a Night in the Town!!!

This is a great way for a sugar baby to get a new dress. Make sure to say it is for him and that you want to get something he will really enjoy tonight. This one is a 2 in one package, you will receive a trip to the mall and a great exciting dinner and dancing. Nothing makes a sugar daddy happier than a hot date which he can show off!!

Blab about your Sugar Daddies Car

When in the car with you lady-killer talk about how you love the car he drives. Nothing makes a Sugar Daddy happier than to have someone talk about his vehicle. The more you talk about the car the more you can drop the seed that you would like a matching one just like his. In about a month or two you will have a brand new sugar baby car that matches his.

Blab about how you miss your Family that is out of town

A Sugar Daddy is not going to want to travel to see a family across the state, but he will most likely give you a free plane ticket. Just keep talking about how you miss your familiy and how it gets lonely by yourself when he is working. Ta-Da!!! One first class ticket to your parents house.

Ask how he manages his bills so well and how became so successful

This is probably the best strategy to get you own bank account which is the super duper reward from a Sugar Daddy. Ask about how he manages his money and how he became so successful. Also, tell him how you are scared that he might leave you. By having your own bank account that he fills up you will learn how to manage more money and will have weekly deposits for your spending. Tell him you heard something about it being a tax write off so you can help his business expense. Your sugar daddy will think it is so cute that you are trying to learn about his business and will sign the checks to you immediately so you can deposit them to your bank account.

These are somne of the many ways Adult Singles can find a sugar daddy on a Free Dating Site.
About the Author

Total Guru of the Social Networking Mania
http://www.adultsinglesdating.net

Choosing Our Parents

2009-03-03T00:38:00.001-08:00

Choosing Our Parents

by: Skye Thomas

There's a Native American belief that before we are born, we choose our parents. It actually ties in pretty nicely with the reincarnation idea that we prearrange certain circumstances before each life so as to learn different lessons. Either way, our parents teach us so much more than they ever mean to. Through their choices, circumstances, faults, talents and ability to show their love and support, they mold us. If life is a rat race, then our folks determine what we come out of the starting blocks with.

The gifts they give us are so much more than biological. Yeah, there's the basics of whether or not you go through life as pretty, ugly, or just sort of plain looking. I don't have to tell you that physical looks, athletic abilities, and general health definitely effect how we go through life. Our parents can decide whether or not we're deformed or mentally challenged by deciding to create alcohol syndrome or drug addicted babies. And they genetically predispose us to various future challenges, like breast cancer or heart disease. Other than by taking care of our bodies with proper rest and nutrition while growing up, there isn't a whole lot that they can do about most of the physical characteristics they pass along to us.

Most of us are average, that's what average means. So most of us inherit average bodies with average talents and average health. So what does it matter who we choose as our parents? For proof, just look at the people who were raised by adopted parents or those who were raised in blended step-families. Their biology isn't really what comes to mind when we look at the gifts and challenges they received from their 'folks.'

Our parents - whether biological, adopted, or stepparents - determined what our environment would be while growing up. They chose our financial health, spiritual health, educational health, social health, and mental health. They may have consciously sat down and made the decisions and acted on them, or they may have paid no attention whatsoever to how those things would turn out. Many parents are themselves uneducated or unhealthy in some of these areas and don't even know that there were other choices to be made. It's not always intentional, what they chose. Either way, they made choices that determined all of those things for us.

It's really easy if we had blessed childhoods to give thanks to our parents for making wonderful choices on our behalf. If we believe in that theory that we choose our parents before birth, then we can nod and say, Yep, I certainly did pick some winners! Sure am glad I picked those two as my parents. They supported me in everything I ever wanted to do and paid for my music lessons and never stopped loving me no matter what!

But what if you were one of those kids whose childhood sucked? Was your dad an alcoholic? Was your mom the queen of guilt trips? Was your dad the overachiever who pressured you to carry on his legacy? Was your mother a gold digger hopping from one wealthy man to the next, never really paying attention to you? Were your folks ignorant and uneducated, not having a clue that you were a bored genius with nobody to talk to? Did they make choices constantly based on themselves instead of their children? Were they artists who got so carried away in the creative process that they'd forget you existed at times? Whatever the story, you get the idea. You may or may not love your folks, but you know that if you had it to do over again you certainly wouldn't have picked those two people to be in charge of your early years. The last thing you want to hear is that you might have chosen that upbringing for yourself.

Shift gears with me here, for just a minute. Look into yourself and tell me what you are most proud of. Is it your tenacity? Your ability to pick yourself up and carry on no matter what? Your moxie? Your incredible ability to read other people and know just how to reach out and help them? Your artistic ability to create music that sings to the soul of the lonely and uplift them for just a minute? Your incredible work ethic? Your own ability to really be present and in the moment with your own kids? Sit for a moment and look at the incredible strength and amazing traits that you created for yourself despite your parents.

If I had been the spoiled pampered princess I wanted to be, I would never be able to write for you today. It's because I come from a broken home that I know how important true loving connection is regardless of whether the original two parents are the ones raising you or not. It's because I was under the impression that I was abandoned that I found out how to be strong and independent and no longer clingy and needy. I wouldn't have the pride and self assurance that I can overcome anything life throws at me if I had always had the safety net of family to fall back on. Look into your own life. Would you be the amazing person you are today if you had been raised with a silver spoon and ideal parents?

Initially when we begin our healing process, we can identify what particular flavor of 'screwed up' we are and who's fault it is that we turned out that way. Continuing on the path of healing, we get to a place where we can forgive those who helped create the mess that we became. Finally, we come to realize what a blessing it was that we got to go through that particular journey and to learn those particular lessons and to gain those particular tools and gifts as a result. Then we can be grateful that we chose the parents we did.

About The Author

Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

Author Interview Mommy Come Home

2008-12-17T18:28:00.001-08:00

Author Interview: Mommy Come Home
The New Trend to Tradition:
Bringing Up Your Own
Interview with Sandra Gillmore conducted by Lisa Hendey

In her new book Mommy Come Home, author Sandra Gillmore strongly advocates the role of full-time motherhood. Some may disagree with the books premise that mother should eschew career and stay home with children (in lieu of day care or even dad or a relative providing in home care). I found the value of this book to be for readers who have chosen the stay at home route and are seeking support and encouragement in this decision. Sandra Gillmore shares a veterans experience and perspective and has so many wonderful tips and suggestions to share. Women choosing to voluntarily walk away from careers to pursue the vocation of motherhood are often met with resistance, financial concerns and a lack of support. A new mother may find herself isolated and uncertain as she attempts to ascertain her new identity in life. Mommy Come Home is a great tool for women facing or considering such transitions. Sandra Gillmore gives readers many pearls of wisdom to aid them in the journey of parenthood.

LH: Sandra Gillmore, author of Mommy Come Home, thanks for your time and for participating in this Book Spotlight feature. Could you please tell our readers a little bit about your background and your family?

As a single person, I worked in various office positions, and prayed for the Lord to send me a devoted Christian husband. God powerfully answered my prayers to the point that I wrote a song for Dave entitled, You are the Answer to My Prayers. Dave and I have been married for 20 years and we have been blessed with ten children, ages 19 down to 1 year in age. We both shared the vision for a large family and grew into the homeschool lifestyle. Over the years we've opened our home to exchange students, foreign refugees, college renters and the mentally ill. Currently our quiver is full of our own family members! Our children are very active in sports, music and scouts. I get involved with fundraisers and love to cheer them on in their activities. I enjoy singing for church which occasionally includes weddings and funerals.

LH: Sandra, what is the main message of Mommy Come Home and what prompted you to write the book?

Mommy, Come Home is my love letter to all moms! I've heard you stress-out on the soccer fields. I've seen you cry at church from the pressure. You told me I was lucky I could stay home. I've tried to console you through the rat race. I've prayed for you. But I never wanted to hurt your feelings. I never had the courage to tell you what was on my heart through the Holy Spirit's leading. The message of Mommy, Come Home is that God is calling each mother to embrace her vocation to motherhood. This is your call that no one else can replace as God intended. (Not even grandma or daddy.) You have been given special gifts to share with your children in a most generous way. This world is not family-centered. The world wants to pull you away and make you too busy to effectively mother your children. Picture yourself ordering your favorite dessert in a restaurant only to have the waiter bring you one small bite! Wouldn't you want more? 'But it's the highest quality of this dessert on the market, 'the waiter tells you. Our children want and need more - not more stuff - more of our time. There is a way out of this madness. You have a choice.

LH: For families who have become reliant upon two incomes, can you offer some creative suggestions to help ease the financial transition when Mom decides to stay home full time with the children.

By eliminating, in large part, the extraneous expenses of working outside the home (such as more gas, wear and tear on your vehicles, or even the need for an additional vehicle, business attire, fast food, childcare) and adding an enormous tool called flexibility to your schedule, you will be set up for a new way of thinking and spending. The focus is on saving instead of earning. Simplicity is the key. Try asking yourself, 'Is this a need or a want?' whether it's a new home, car or a toothbrush. (i.e.: do you really need the $5 variety or will the 88 cent version do the job?) Try drinking filtered water (from your own filter if possible.) Milk, juice and soda are quite costly and don't offer much in the way of nutrition. Good quality vitamins can prevent a lot of expensive and time-consuming trips to the doctor. Consider shopping at various discount stores and make home-made cooking a top priority. Nothing has to be fancy. Instead of buying ingredients for a recipe, just buy whatever is on sale and then cook accordingly when you get home. If we need fresh produce, for example, I come home with whatever fruit is on sale for that week. This is a great way to keep more variety in your kitchen too.

For vacations, state and national parks are a treasure to behold. If you bring your own food you've already saved a bundle of money. Just pack the cooler(s) and you can make great day trips or camp, or even rent a housekeeping cabin. It's incredibly less expensive than motels and amusement parks. And what could be more exciting than exploring 'God's playground?' For other entertainment, don't forget the library. Many libraries offer free concerts and other entertainment. Also, local museums and zoos almost always offer a family membership. This is usually a wonderful bargain for a family. Make use of this and you won't fall prey to the lure of the expensive entertainment industry, which is usually full of negative messages that conflict with our Christian faith anyway.

Don't be afraid to accept hand-me-downs, shop at thrift shops or garage sales for clothes or other items. There are some great discount stores around too if you make it a point to scout them out. I personally don't enjoy shopping because it is so time-consuming. However, I make a point to shop during low-traffic times and that makes a huge difference. It's the flexibility factor that will prevent you from feeling rushed all the time and missing out on bargains.

LH: Many Stay at home moms feel isolated and lonely. What proactive steps can they take to help themselves overcome these feelings?

Satan loves Christians to become isolated. Then he can trap you into thinking 'no one understands me,' etc. Don't even give him a chance! REACH OUT! Whether you are new to a community or have just been pulled out of a huge social circle in order to stay home, you simply must find ways to be involved. For example, I have hosted lady's Bible studies and support groups just by listing an ad in our church bulletin. Sometimes only one mom has called - but that was all I needed to make a new friend at the time. Then it would grow. You can join a group like I started, or find a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers,) La Leche League (breastfeeding support group,) or volunteer for something at church that may be just a few hours per month. Read your local newspaper; look on the internet for local church or community activities. Get involved in politics. You may be nervous at first but reaching out is essential and will bring you many blessings in new friendships. But remember that God and family come first. We don't need to be supermoms and burn ourselves out. But we definitely need to be supported by and supportive to other moms and people in general.

LH: What role has your Christian faith played in your decisions to be home full time and to homeschool your children?

so that they (the older women) may train younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, chaste, busy at homeTitus 2:3-5 (New American Bible)

I think the Lord says in His word that he prefers mothers to be busy at home. Other versions of the Word say 'Keeper of the home' or 'good homemakers.'

The decision for me to stay home came when my husband and I became engaged. He felt very strongly that my role in the home was essential for a strong family to take hold. He felt that God would bless us if we honored him by this devotion to the mother's role. We both loved the prospect of having a large family and I couldn't see the point of bearing a child and giving birth only to leave the child entrusted to someone else's care. It didn't make sense. The entire pregnancy is a bonding experience for an important purpose. It is a beautiful beginning to a lifelong relationship with your child.

Although we do not currently homeschool all of our children, I do believe home schooling gives us the most generous opportunity to fully instill our values into our children's hearts and minds. Homeschooling was still a relatively new idea when we started about 11 years ago. Dave had close friends he admired who homeschooled their children. I thought it all sounded very strange at first. Another family took our advice to home school (even though we didn't do it yet!) and we were amazed at how intimately peaceful and joyful their home had become since starting.) Then we attended a large home school convention and it was very evident that these hundreds of families were bringing up their children to serve the Lord in a very powerfully practical way. It is more than just an educational movement. It is a way to bond with your children; to have the time and flexibility to demonstrate the faith on a daily basis. And for those naysayers who think the home is not 'real world', I say, 'What is real within our families becomes real within our world. Currently we have three high schoolers in the public school system who are thriving with prayer clubs and evangelizing when opportunity arises. We home school our four middle children and two of them also attend a church preschool three mornings a week for 3 hours a day. Our toddler is also home full-time.

LH: Congratulations of the publication of this, your first book! What a tremendous accomplishment! Are you currently working on any new writing or creative projects?

Thank you so much. It has been truly exciting to watch the Lord open doors on what otherwise would seem impossible or just plain ridiculous. I have felt called to write a book about special needs families. We have not been blessed with a special needs child, but I have a friend who is legally blind and the mother of nine children. Her family includes two sets of twins, one autistic child, one nearly deaf child, and four vision-impaired children. The book will be about her and some other families that share their experiences and faith-growth through their special needs situations.

LH: What resources can you recommend for new moms?

I highly recommend 'Family Foundations,' a publication of the Couple to Couple League. (http://www.ccli.org/) So many moms are told that the number one priority after giving birth should be birth-control. I do believe in child-spacing but so often mothers are discouraged from having more than two children these days, the 'accepted norm.' If we truly open our hearts to another child, we have more reason to want to stay home because more souls are depending on us. We also are being more open to our husband, accepting both the potential for life and the pleasure of the marriage act. This method of 'natural family planning' automatically builds mutual respect and self-giving in the marriage, which is so much-needed today.

Catholic Familyland (http://www.familyland.org/Home.htm)- an awesome family vacation/retreat experience, an apostolate devoted to teaching the true faith by way of books, tapes and videos from top authorities such as Cardinal Arinze, Pope John Paul II, Scott Hahn, Mother Teresa, etc. In addition, they have their own TV network which is on a satellite with many other Christian stations and costs only $11.99 per month. We love this place. I can't say enough good about it.

Focus on the Family (www.family.org) is a wonderful resource for all sorts of parenting tips. And don't forget the Bible. It's full of proverbs and other parental advice for the finding.

LH: Thank you again Sandra for your time and for sharing your book. Are there any closing thoughts you'd like to offer?

The revival doesn't begin only at church. It begins in the home. Home is not an escape from the world. It's a foundation to build the values of our faith. Then we must share that faith with the world. One family at a time. Thank you, Lisa for this opportunity to share from my heart to other moms. I pray the book will be used as an instrument of hope and healing to every family's mother that reads it.

For more information or to order Mommy Come Home visit http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1594675627/digitalcropper-20

Copyright 2004 Lisa M. Hendey
The New Trend to Tradition:
Bringing Up Your Own
Interview with Sandra Gillmore conducted by Lisa Hendey

In her new book Mommy Come Home, author Sandra Gillmore strongly advocates the role of full-time motherhood. Some may disagree with the books premise that mother should eschew career and stay home with children (in lieu of day care or even dad or a relative providing in home care). I found the value of this book to be for readers who have chosen the stay at home route and are seeking support and encouragement in this decision. Sandra Gillmore shares a veterans experience and perspective and has so many wonderful tips and suggestions to share. Women choosing to voluntarily walk away from careers to pursue the vocation of motherhood are often met with resistance, financial concerns and a lack of support. A new mother may find herself isolated and uncertain as she attempts to ascertain her new identity in life. Mommy Come Home is a great tool for women facing or considering such transitions. Sandra Gillmore gives readers many pearls of wisdom to aid them in the journey of parenthood.

LH: Sandra Gillmore, author of Mommy Come Home, thanks for your time and for participating in this Book Spotlight feature. Could you please tell our readers a little bit about your background and your family?

As a single person, I worked in various office positions, and prayed for the Lord to send me a devoted Christian husband. God powerfully answered my prayers to the point that I wrote a song for Dave entitled, You are the Answer to My Prayers. Dave and I have been married for 20 years and we have been blessed with ten children, ages 19 down to 1 year in age. We both shared the vision for a large family and grew into the homeschool lifestyle. Over the years we've opened our home to exchange students, foreign refugees, college renters and the mentally ill. Currently our quiver is full of our own family members! Our children are very active in sports, music and scouts. I get involved with fundraisers and love to cheer them on in their activities. I enjoy singing for church which occasionally includes weddings and funerals.

LH: Sandra, what is the main message of Mommy Come Home and what prompted you to write the book?

Mommy, Come Home is my love letter to all moms! I've heard you stress-out on the soccer fields. I've seen you cry at church from the pressure. You told me I was lucky I could stay home. I've tried to console you through the rat race. I've prayed for you. But I never wanted to hurt your feelings. I never had the courage to tell you what was on my heart through the Holy Spirit's leading. The message of Mommy, Come Home is that God is calling each mother to embrace her vocation to motherhood. This is your call that no one else can replace as God intended. (Not even grandma or daddy.) You have been given special gifts to share with your children in a most generous way. This world is not family-centered. The world wants to pull you away and make you too busy to effectively mother your children. Picture yourself ordering your favorite dessert in a restaurant only to have the waiter bring you one small bite! Wouldn't you want more? 'But it's the highest quality of this dessert on the market, 'the waiter tells you. Our children want and need more - not more stuff - more of our time. There is a way out of this madness. You have a choice.

LH: For families who have become reliant upon two incomes, can you offer some creative suggestions to help ease the financial transition when Mom decides to stay home full time with the children.

By eliminating, in large part, the extraneous expenses of working outside the home (such as more gas, wear and tear on your vehicles, or even the need for an additional vehicle, business attire, fast food, childcare) and adding an enormous tool called flexibility to your schedule, you will be set up for a new way of thinking and spending. The focus is on saving instead of earning. Simplicity is the key. Try asking yourself, 'Is this a need or a want?' whether it's a new home, car or a toothbrush. (i.e.: do you really need the $5 variety or will the 88 cent version do the job?) Try drinking filtered water (from your own filter if possible.) Milk, juice and soda are quite costly and don't offer much in the way of nutrition. Good quality vitamins can prevent a lot of expensive and time-consuming trips to the doctor. Consider shopping at various discount stores and make home-made cooking a top priority. Nothing has to be fancy. Instead of buying ingredients for a recipe, just buy whatever is on sale and then cook accordingly when you get home. If we need fresh produce, for example, I come home with whatever fruit is on sale for that week. This is a great way to keep more variety in your kitchen too.

For vacations, state and national parks are a treasure to behold. If you bring your own food you've already saved a bundle of money. Just pack the cooler(s) and you can make great day trips or camp, or even rent a housekeeping cabin. It's incredibly less expensive than motels and amusement parks. And what could be more exciting than exploring 'God's playground?' For other entertainment, don't forget the library. Many libraries offer free concerts and other entertainment. Also, local museums and zoos almost always offer a family membership. This is usually a wonderful bargain for a family. Make use of this and you won't fall prey to the lure of the expensive entertainment industry, which is usually full of negative messages that conflict with our Christian faith anyway.

Don't be afraid to accept hand-me-downs, shop at thrift shops or garage sales for clothes or other items. There are some great discount stores around too if you make it a point to scout them out. I personally don't enjoy shopping because it is so time-consuming. However, I make a point to shop during low-traffic times and that makes a huge difference. It's the flexibility factor that will prevent you from feeling rushed all the time and missing out on bargains.

LH: Many Stay at home moms feel isolated and lonely. What proactive steps can they take to help themselves overcome these feelings?

Satan loves Christians to become isolated. Then he can trap you into thinking 'no one understands me,' etc. Don't even give him a chance! REACH OUT! Whether you are new to a community or have just been pulled out of a huge social circle in order to stay home, you simply must find ways to be involved. For example, I have hosted lady's Bible studies and support groups just by listing an ad in our church bulletin. Sometimes only one mom has called - but that was all I needed to make a new friend at the time. Then it would grow. You can join a group like I started, or find a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers,) La Leche League (breastfeeding support group,) or volunteer for something at church that may be just a few hours per month. Read your local newspaper; look on the internet for local church or community activities. Get involved in politics. You may be nervous at first but reaching out is essential and will bring you many blessings in new friendships. But remember that God and family come first. We don't need to be supermoms and burn ourselves out. But we definitely need to be supported by and supportive to other moms and people in general.

LH: What role has your Christian faith played in your decisions to be home full time and to homeschool your children?

so that they (the older women) may train younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, chaste, busy at homeTitus 2:3-5 (New American Bible)

I think the Lord says in His word that he prefers mothers to be busy at home. Other versions of the Word say 'Keeper of the home' or 'good homemakers.'

The decision for me to stay home came when my husband and I became engaged. He felt very strongly that my role in the home was essential for a strong family to take hold. He felt that God would bless us if we honored him by this devotion to the mother's role. We both loved the prospect of having a large family and I couldn't see the point of bearing a child and giving birth only to leave the child entrusted to someone else's care. It didn't make sense. The entire pregnancy is a bonding experience for an important purpose. It is a beautiful beginning to a lifelong relationship with your child.

Although we do not currently homeschool all of our children, I do believe home schooling gives us the most generous opportunity to fully instill our values into our children's hearts and minds. Homeschooling was still a relatively new idea when we started about 11 years ago. Dave had close friends he admired who homeschooled their children. I thought it all sounded very strange at first. Another family took our advice to home school (even though we didn't do it yet!) and we were amazed at how intimately peaceful and joyful their home had become since starting.) Then we attended a large home school convention and it was very evident that these hundreds of families were bringing up their children to serve the Lord in a very powerfully practical way. It is more than just an educational movement. It is a way to bond with your children; to have the time and flexibility to demonstrate the faith on a daily basis. And for those naysayers who think the home is not 'real world', I say, 'What is real within our families becomes real within our world. Currently we have three high schoolers in the public school system who are thriving with prayer clubs and evangelizing when opportunity arises. We home school our four middle children and two of them also attend a church preschool three mornings a week for 3 hours a day. Our toddler is also home full-time.

LH: Congratulations of the publication of this, your first book! What a tremendous accomplishment! Are you currently working on any new writing or creative projects?

Thank you so much. It has been truly exciting to watch the Lord open doors on what otherwise would seem impossible or just plain ridiculous. I have felt called to write a book about special needs families. We have not been blessed with a special needs child, but I have a friend who is legally blind and the mother of nine children. Her family includes two sets of twins, one autistic child, one nearly deaf child, and four vision-impaired children. The book will be about her and some other families that share their experiences and faith-growth through their special needs situations.

LH: What resources can you recommend for new moms?

I highly recommend 'Family Foundations,' a publication of the Couple to Couple League. (http://www.ccli.org/) So many moms are told that the number one priority after giving birth should be birth-control. I do believe in child-spacing but so often mothers are discouraged from having more than two children these days, the 'accepted norm.' If we truly open our hearts to another child, we have more reason to want to stay home because more souls are depending on us. We also are being more open to our husband, accepting both the potential for life and the pleasure of the marriage act. This method of 'natural family planning' automatically builds mutual respect and self-giving in the marriage, which is so much-needed today.

Catholic Familyland (http://www.familyland.org/Home.htm)- an awesome family vacation/retreat experience, an apostolate devoted to teaching the true faith by way of books, tapes and videos from top authorities such as Cardinal Arinze, Pope John Paul II, Scott Hahn, Mother Teresa, etc. In addition, they have their own TV network which is on a satellite with many other Christian stations and costs only $11.99 per month. We love this place. I can't say enough good about it.

Focus on the Family (www.family.org) is a wonderful resource for all sorts of parenting tips. And don't forget the Bible. It's full of proverbs and other parental advice for the finding.

LH: Thank you again Sandra for your time and for sharing your book. Are there any closing thoughts you'd like to offer?

The revival doesn't begin only at church. It begins in the home. Home is not an escape from the world. It's a foundation to build the values of our faith. Then we must share that faith with the world. One family at a time. Thank you, Lisa for this opportunity to share from my heart to other moms. I pray the book will be used as an instrument of hope and healing to every family's mother that reads it.

For more information or to order Mommy Come Home visit http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1594675627/digitalcropper-20

Copyright 2004 Lisa M. Hendey

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lisa M. Hendey is a mother of two sons, webmaster of numerous web sites, (including http://www.digitalcropper.com http://www.christincoloring.com, http://www.catholicmom.com) and an avid reader.