Gibberish from the 02145

Where have all the grasshoppers gone?

2008-07-26T03:34:00.000-07:00

Can you remember the last time you saw a grasshopper? I can't. I used to catch them when I was a kid. They were all over the place. We lived in a quasi-urban setting, yet my neighbors had plenty of grasshoppers in their postage stamp-sized yard.

Are they facing extinction or something?

Rain, Rain, Go Away ...

2008-07-25T05:06:00.001-07:00

Someone please post a convincing argument as to why race car drivers are considered to be "athletes." I don't get it. Doesn't that open the door for other groups to be called athletes? I suppose you need agility and strength to control your vehicle, but I need that, too, when I'm lugging bags of groceries up three flights of stairs. Don't get me wrong, I really WANT to be brought around to this notion, but I'm not quite there yet and I guess I'm asking for a smart and interested person to convince me. After all, Shirley Muldowney is one of my idols.

Jeers to Jessica Simpson for wearing a T-Shirt that claims that real women eat meat. I, myself, am a pescetarian (Merriam-Webster just inducted this term into the dictionary this year - hurray, I feel valid!). I don't have an issue with eating meat or killing non-human mammals and birds ... if you do it with your bare hands! That's the way it's done in the wild, people. Instead, we have big factories where cows and baby cows and little pigs get their brains bashed in. Maybe Jessica's shirt should say, Real Women Eat the Meat That Comes Out of Factories Where Cows and Pigs Get Their Brains Bashed In. If you're going to make a statement, don't do it half-assed. Go all the way! At least fish get to enjoy a real and normal life in a natural habitat before they get scooped up, killed, and cooked. I'm not saying it's a great way to go, but hey, it's better than life in a meat processing plant.

Don't you love how the conservatives are really pushing this whole, "See? The surge worked!" bullcrap on America? Okay, if that's true, how come they remain mum on troop withdrawal? How long are our troops -- courageous, dedicated human beings with families and lives in the United States -- supposed to be subjected to this fabricated war? Also, how are we suddenly put in a situation where we have to praise Bush for enacting this surge? That would be like giving your neighbor a big pat on the back for fixing the side of your house that they ran their truck through. Hey, thanks, it was totally genius how you patched that up for me.

One last rant: Miley Cyrus. Can't stand her. I hate her big, bubblegum, spoiled rotten smile. I can't believe that Annie Leibovitz made me pose like that. I feel bad for Annie. She's a pioneer in her business, a living legend. She's a low-key, but incredibly accomplished professional. I hope she didn't lose any sleep over this.

Red Sox-Yankees tonight! I think I'll make some apple soap. Very Patriotic.

Art Beat 2008

2008-07-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

[I advertised this on my Stella Marie Soap Company blog, but I thought I'd post about it here, too, in case any of you locals are interested. I hope you can stop by and say hello - the weather is supposed to rock and the entertainment is always fun.]

I will be selling my soaps and other bath goodies at the Art Beat festival this year. The Somerville Arts Council has updated their website with the full festival details!

Saturday, 7/19: Noon - 5PM
Davis Square, Somerville, MA

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In unrelated news: Our softball team has advanced to the 2nd round of playoffs. I'm not sure what happened, but we were unstoppable. The other team lost due to the mercy rule, which is simply unheard of, given our not-so-impressive record. Perhaps it's because our coach gave us a pep talk before the game. Who knew that this is all we needed to excel? It was so freaking fun to (a) win and (b) pound another team.

What If A-Rod Threw a Party and Nobody Came?

2008-07-17T03:58:00.000-07:00

I guess that's what happened after the All Star game in NYC. Not even Madonna showed. You can't really feel bad for the guy. He creates his own problems. Remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Peter Brady saved some kid in a library from having a giant shelf of books fall on him, then threw himself a "hero" party, but no one showed up?

In unrelated news: I feel bad for one of my neighbors. Their child has a scream like a T-Rex. Hey, maybe it really is a T-Rex!

Dirty Water - A Red Sox Mystery

2008-07-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

I am lucky to know such talented people. I just posted about my musical friends, Leeny and Steve, and I thought I would take this opportunity to acquaint you with Dirty Water: A Red Sox Mystery. My boyfriend (Red Sox blogger, Jere Smith) and his mom (accomplished mystery novelist, Mary-Ann Tirone Smith) co-authored this gem and since I have an obvious bias, I won't attempt to create a review. I probably wouldn't do it justice. But I will say that if you enjoy mysteries and baseball, this book should be on your future reading list (particularly if you are a fan of the Boston Red Sox). You can pre-order a copy on Amazon by going here.

Reviews are just starting to come in. Here are a few snippets:

"Dirty Water takes us inside the Sox clubhouse and out into the neighborhood around baseball's little green chapel. Having spent far too many hours pacing that pavement, I can verify that Mary-Ann Tirone Smith and Jere Smith know the territory. This one's fun for mystery fans and Sox fans, and even more so if you're both."
- Stewart O'Nan, Faithful: Two Diehard Boston Red Sox Fans Chronicle the Historic 2004 Season (written in collaboration with Stephen King)

"These authors know Boston, they know baseball, and they definitely know the Red Sox. Real-life Red Sox players walk out of the clubhouse and right onto the pages of this murder mystery--along with bloggers, bad guys, and Boston's finest. An essential addition to any true fan's bookshelf."
- Melinda Boroson, author, 86 Years: The Legend of the Boston Red Sox

"To truly enjoy this extremely clever novel and its extra-innings ending, it helps if you are a fan of the Boston Red Sox, intimately familiar with Boston's Fenway neighborhood and conversant with the online practice of blogging.

But should you strike out on these topics, never mind. The book is still a good read and, let's face it, in Vermont and the rest of New England (otherwise known as Red Sox Nation) most readers will have at least some knowledge of the team and therefore an appreciation of its recent (and long-awaited) success on the diamond.

And, as a bonus, David "Big Papi" Ortiz, the team's superstar slugger and larger-than-life personality, adds a bit of zest to a plot that's already as tricky and slick as an unassisted triple play."
- A.C. HUTCHISON, The Rutland Herald

This is a well-crafted review from Nora of Horse Circle.

Check out frequent updates on the book blog, here.

*Editor's Note: In my original post, I wrote that Nora's last name was Ocala. Why? Because I'm an idiot. Clearly. Ocala is where she lives in Florida, but I completely misread this, looking at her profile information on her blog. What can I say? I don't know Florida all that well. My apologies!

Leeny and Steve - Be Nice

2008-07-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I would do some shameless promotion for two of my friends: Ilene Altman AKA Leeny and Steve Equi AKA Steve. They just put out a fabulous new CD of children's songs entitled, Be Nice.

The songs are super witty, smartly written tunes, sure to get your kids (or kids you might know) tapping their little toes. It's a nice alternative to the crap that's out there (speaking of, one of my favorite songs on the album is Stinky Diaper). Well, as I have no experience with the children's market, I can only assume the music is crappy. But I do know this: Leeny and Steve's CD is the bee's knees! The crown jewel of the children's music world!

Warning: Don't be surprised if your child or the child you know begins eating their fruits and vegetables after listening to this CD. You might find that said child begins to demand quiet time as a result of exposure to Be Nice. If you prefer loud, sugar-hyped kids, this CD is not for you.

It's Coming, Folks!

2008-07-07T17:32:00.000-07:00

"The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut."

- Adrian Cronauer, Good Morning, Vietnam

True Quam

2008-07-05T08:53:00.001-07:00

Ever notice that commercials involving high definition televisions or "sexy" electronics portray the male as this kid in a candy store with his female counterpart rolling her eyes in the background as if to say, "Oh, brother!" or "Honey, you know we can't afford that!"

I've never known a woman who was bored or annoyed with cool televisions. Am I missing something here?

SHUT OUT

2008-07-04T05:19:00.000-07:00

I love shutting out the Yankees in their own backyard. I also love it when one of our pitchers gets to complete his game. Congratulations, Lester!

Speaking of congratulations ..

1. My cousin got engaged. Yay, Erika!

2. Did you read about this ? I almost cried.

3. After nearly 24 hours of no water, my friend Kara's water supply was restored. Whew!

Happy 4th of July, all! Be safe.

God Help Me

2008-07-04T05:18:00.001-07:00

I am addicted to the USA Today crossword.

Today is a holiday, so I have to wait 3 stinking days until a fresh one appears.

There is a silver lining.

2008-07-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well, the house deal we had in place didn't pan out. The seller was not willing to budge on repairs that were major safety concerns. We even agreed to split some of the cost with him, but he was not flexible. We decided to back out, knowing that the market is still very good for buyers right now. It's hard to let go of something you have your heart set on, but we were already spending so much before moving in, we thought that it wasn't worth it in the end. The good news is that we were able to get our deposit back in full, as what we were asking the seller to do was pretty serious. Also, our agent is very familiar with our needs now, so I think the process should be a bit quicker moving ahead.

Since we backed out, we've found a number of awesome listings and we are excited about looking at new places. Some of these homes are in mint condition, which is great because we can take our savings and use it toward decorating or even leave it in the bank!

To read about our fun flat tire adventure this weekend, go here!

Warning: Depressing Cancer Post

2008-06-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

Cancer is probably the worst thing that can happen to a person. I keep trying to imagine what my mom's heart and mind go through on a daily basis, but I don't think I really can. If I were her, I think I would just be frightened all the time. I would feel like I was staring at death from the other end of a looooooooong hallway. Death waits for all of us at the end of a long hallway, but most of us are usually pretty unaware of it. I saw her last Friday, per the usual. She was a little tired. By Sunday, she was on the couch all day. She apparently picked up the flu and was totally down for the count (chemo kills all of your white blood cells). I popped in to drop something off and she was sleeping peacefully without her wig. It was hot and muggy, so she just had a t-shirt on. She has little patches of hair left, her eyebrows are almost completely gone. I just lost it. Watching someone go through this is second only to going through it yourself. I've dealt with my father's sudden death and the dismantling of my first marriage. Those things were difficult, but nothing compares to the utter helplessness and gut-wrenching pain you feel when someone you love so much is facing something this horrible, painful and cruel. I pray for at least one remission. Or just ONE FUCKING DAY for her to feel normal again. I wonder what we did to deserve this. But, then I have to remind myself that it's a disease. It isn't personal. There is no rhyme or reason. It just happens. Everyday. To thousands of people. You just feel like you're being thrown all over the place by this huge enemy you can't see. I'm always on edge. I'm always waiting for scary news.

I spoke to her this morning, briefly. She was at the clinic getting her blood drawn. She said that she was feeling much better. This gave me some relief.

I think I need a support group or something.

And in "Women Rock" News ...

2008-06-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

Check it out!

Candace Parker slam dunks!

George Carlin Dies at 71

2008-06-23T04:05:00.000-07:00

This completely sucks. Rest in peace, George.

IRON MAIDEN

2008-06-21T14:41:00.001-07:00

We went to see Iron Maiden last night. Very enjoyable show - Dickinson still has it. Major pipes. The band was very tight. Their performance made up for the opening band, which was beyond horrible. You remember what Cassandra's band from Wayne's World sounded like? Same crap, but worse because it is obvious that they are serious about themselves.

It also rained and thundered for a good portion of the show, mostly at the beginning. We had lawn seats, so I am now convinced that we are all going to get some kind of fungus. The youngesters throwing themselves down the mudslide didn't seem to care. I was so mad at these little punks, I nearly made one of them eat my shoes.

My only disappointment was that Maiden didn't play Flight Of Icarus. I was so ready for it!

House Update

2008-06-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

First and foremost - CONGRATULATIONS TO THE BOSTON CELTICS! That was beyond exciting! I wish I had been able to go to the parade, but since paring down to a 4-day workweek, I try not to ask for more than I need from my employer.

Secondly, we are inching ever so closely to buying the house, but it isn't easy. Is it ever? We had a mold specialist come into the home yesterday to take samples from the basement where there are 2 distinct patches of mold. One of the patches contains a number of different types of mold, and a small amount of it is toxic. This is not good news. It means that the basement must undergo a remediation. And the question now becomes: Who is going to pay for it? It's a small area, which is good, but all mold remediations are expensive. They start at $1000. We've already negotiated with the seller to absorb full closing costs and he's come down a considerable amount since his initial asking price. We've asked him to deal with some electrical and plumbing issues that our inspector identified. We are wondering how much further he's going to be pushed.

It's in his best interest to take care of the mold because if he refuses and we back out of the deal, the mold must be disclosed to all potential buyers and in this market, ain't nobody gonna select a home that has toxic mold in the basement, no matter how little.

It may also be in our interest to pay for the remediation, because we've already invested $1000 in testing and assessment. We would be able to retain our deposit (as toxic mold is a serious enough problem to merit our backing out of the deal), but we would lose all the upfront $$$.

I am thinking that if he refuses to deal with the problem, we can ask if he would go in for half. Or possible a full/partial credit at the closing.

Either which way, the mold is outta there before August 14th. My agent is working up an extension right now for the final Purchase and Sale.

Fun!

To Do the Laundry and Clean Up My Room

2008-06-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

I find this to be appalling. In this day and age, it is truly offensive to me that we are still looking to the future first lady for a cookie recipe. And somehow the success of their respective husbands hangs in the balance until the winner of the cookie recipe is determined. The idea that wives belong in the kitchen and that said wives are judged, not on their character or abilities, but on whether or not they can follow a cookie recipe is outdated and dangerous.

Stay in the kitchen! Make me some cookies! But, don't eat them yourself.

Game 5 Pooper

2008-06-16T09:53:00.001-07:00

Well, it's too bad about the game last night. I had a feeling that the Lakers would show up with everything they had. The series now stands: Celtics: 3, Lakers: 2. It was nice to see Matt Damon courtside. There has to be an answer for Jack Nicholson, who obviously thinks that he has some control over the outcome of these games. What a jackass.

The good part about this, of course, is that the C's might win it right here at home tomorrow. I will boycott WEEI until then. Today and tomorrow will probably be filled with nothing but harsh criticism from fans who think they can do a better job than the Celtics.

In home buying news, we had the inspection on Saturday. There are some repairs that need to be addressed (some are safety concerns, others are structural), but over time, it should be pretty easy to get them all done. The next step is figuring out which ones we need the seller to do vs. which ones we can live with until we get around to them. The whole process of a home inspection is so nerve-racking. I feel like we're taking a test and every time the inspector finds something, we're inching toward failure.

Oh - and I hope all of you dads had a great Father's Day! I would like to once again thank my late father for teaching me about the important things in life: Rock and roll, illegal fireworks, motorcycles, sticking it to the man, and amusement parks. Miss you, Dad!

Game Five

2008-06-14T06:24:00.001-07:00

Wouldn't it be amazing if the Celtics won the championship in five games? Given that it's Garnett's number, I think that would blow my mind.

We will be taking in the game at our friend Anne's house on Sunday. I am incredibly pumped.

The home inspection is today - wish us luck!

Rajon Rondo: He'll Holla!

2008-06-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

Check out Rondo's blog. He's pretty consistent with posting, too, considering how busy he is right now. He's been icing the ankle and taking it easy. I've got a good feeling about this game. I think that KG and Pierce are going to bring it. I hope they do it in front of grumpy, old Jack Nicholson. God, that man gets under my skin (save for The Shining and The Witches of Eastwick).

I am wondering if maybe Bill Russell can fly to L.A. for extra motivation. I'm not joking.

In house news: We are getting the house inspected on Saturday. My mom and Bill will be coming along for the fun. Whippee! Three hours of the 3 Ps: poking, prodding and praying that we don't find termites.

In sunburn news: I'm peeling like a mofo. I'm hideous.

And congratulations to David Ortiz for becoming a United States citizen!

Bearded Baked Beans

2008-06-10T04:17:00.000-07:00

Here is an interesting ad our friend Ilene told us about, then ultimately sent us via email. I had no idea that B & M baked beans had the budget to hire a baseball superstar to advertise for them.

Kevin's expression here is priceless. Is he angry at the beans? Is he angry at the viewer for watching him eat the beans? Is he angry because they are forcing him to wear that hat? And why would he eat the beans straight out of a can? We joked that this ad was the reason that Manny and Youk got into it last week.

We'll never know.

We've Got a House!

2008-06-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

In theory, anyway. Lots of paperwork still needs to be processed (and looked over by an attorney), but we accepted the counter-offer, with a few conditions. The deposit is in! Soon, we will be "Pawtucketites." "Rhode Islanders." "People who live in a very small state." Wait, we are already people who live in a very small state.

Word to the wise: Don't buy spray on sun screen. It doesn't work all that well. My lobster burn today is proof. And Jere's little nephew (one of the family members we spent yesterday with on his parents' beach) came running into their condo at the end of the day screaming about the sunburn on his back. He then looked at us and said, "I'm gonna take a tub!" He is so adorable. By the way, the sunburn was the only drawback to yesterday's fun. We had such a blast hanging out with everyone, including Jere's cousin Kara, her husband Ben and their super cute daughter, Lanie. It was the first real summer day. I think we checked every box - kayak, float, ocean, swimming pool, beach, picnic. Good times!

Speaking of good times, I should also mention that we went to Manny's big 500 home run game in Baltimore last weekend! Special thanks to Taylor and Kathie for treating us and letting us stay at their place in Philadelphia after the game. Loved the waffles! It was nice to get a real crab cake, too. I know New England offers kickass seafood, but nobody makes a crab cake like the fine people of Baltimore. And I am a big fan of it.

Mom update: She's doing well, though I could punch that old E.R. doctor in the head. After more scans by her oncologist, she was told that there is still cancer in the lungs. And everywhere else. Bu the good news is that it hasn't gotten worse or metastasized any further. They changed up her chemo, so her side affects won't be so bad. This one just gives her an intolerance to cold temperatures (she likens drinking cold beverages to swallowing shards of glass) and messes around with her jaw when she chews. Other than that, it seems to be better for her. She prefers this to vomiting.

I will be spending this sweltering day indoors making soap and other bath products to prepare for a pretty big Stella Marie spa party on Friday. It is best for me to stay out of the sun for a while. Besides, game 2 of the NBA finals is on tonight. Not to be missed!

Red Sox and Celtics - Holy Crap!

2008-06-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

For the Boston fan, last night was a real pleaser. We attended the Rays-Red Sox brawl of a game and, besides the fact that it cut into game 1 of the Celtics-Lakers finals, it was pretty awesome. I arrived a little after 6 (They started the game early so that folks wouldn't have to miss the Celtics, but I think all players were in agreement that they weren't going to let the C's determine the length of their game.) and waited in what I thought was the left field pavilion, where our standing room seats were (it was actually one level above where I was). I was scanning the crowd, looking for my peeps, when all of a sudden I heard a huge roar. When I got a good view of the field, it wasn't clear exactly what had happened. My first thought was that an unruly fan dashed out onto the field. The last name I remember being announced was Coco Crisp. Surely, Coco wasn't involved in a brawl. I had to get bits and pieces of information from the people who actually did see this play out and I was pretty shocked. Even after watching the replays. I guess Coco used to box - this was evident when you see the way he avoids James Shields' swing. It was pretty wild and, of course, amusing. I hope Coco doesn't get suspended for too long. I agree that he should have let that mofo have it, but he is pretty key right now, particularly in the absence of Papi. Then, Jacoby came out of the game with a wrist injury after making a diving catch (it's going to be day-to-day) and Manny and Youk were fighting in the dug out. There is some speculation that Youk was pissed at Manny for not being more prompt in clearing the dugout to defend Coco. Nice night - and this was only the first half of the evening. We did move up to seats right near the Red Sox dugout in the 8th, as folks were clearing out to go home and watch the Celtics. Occasionally, the Fenway people put the Celtics score up on one of their MANY screens in the park. I guess they thought that leaving the score up would have been overkill or something. I was so mad. There was one screen that read: GO CELTICS, BEAT L.A.! Could they not have used this screen for something a little more important, like, saaaaaaaay, the score?

I must tell you, too, that on my way to the park, I saw at least 5 ambulances. Several of them were parked next to the river (alongside the Pike, in the Heminway area). The water is particularly filthy there, always foul-smelling. I don't know what was going on, but I could feel it coming in the air last night. Oh, Lord.

(photo at left: Senator John Kerry Governer Deval Patrick were among the important people at the Garden last night. Check out this gallery for more.) We watched the 2nd half of the Celtics game at home. By half time, the Lakers had a 5 point lead. The announcers were calling the Celtics "lucky" to have only been trailing by 5. Little did they know ... the C's were about to take the roof off the sucka. I was really scared when Pierce went down. He looked like he was in a lot of pain and at the point of his injury, he was on fire. What was worse, he fell because his legs somehow got caught up in Perkins' legs. As Jere said - can't even blame the Lakers for it. But remarkably, Pierce, with a nicely wrapped knee, came back in the game after seeking quick medical attention. And he was a machine, to boot. Now, let's talk about the Celtics amazing point guard - Rajon Rondo. This guy has been dazzling me all year. Aside from the fact that he is cute as a darned button (he's only 6' 1"), he is spot on. He was a rookie just last year, but he's been playing like a seasoned pro from game 1 of the regular season.

Garnett was his usual awesome self, shooting 24 points. And Ray Allen finally found his game!

I don't know if we'll see Eddie House or Big Baby in the finals. Eh, you never know. But probably not.

What a crazy, glorious night. Kobe is an unbelievable player and this is by no means in the bag.

*all photos from Boston.com

GO CELTICS!

2008-05-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

I am totally ready for this game. Cannot wait!

Crazy re: that green line train collision in Newton (less than an hour ago). I just had dinner across the street from that station less than a week ago. So far, no casualties. Luckily, the injured passengers can quite literally walk across the street to Newton-Wellesley Hospital. God, that was terrible.

We saw some interesting properties over the weekend. We are looking at 2 more on Friday night. One is in the Oak Hill part of Pawtucket, which, from what I read, is a pretty desirable area. Kind of artsy. The place looks very promising. Kind of like Pee Wee's house from the outside. Ish. Wish us luck.

First Road Win!

2008-05-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

The Celtics came out with both barrels loaded last night! They beat the Pistons 94-80. They kept a 10-15 point lead consistently. They kept their composure, even though there was at least one instance of funny business. Kevin Garnett was forced into his 2nd personal foul because one of the Pistons grabbed his arm (very clear in the replay) and tried to pull Garnett down to the floor. Garnett yanked his arm back and a foul was called on him. He was a little shocked, but he let it go. The C's proceeded to answer for every point scored by Detroit. It was the compete opposite of Game 2. I guess the Pistons have learned what the Celtics are capable of.

We are looking at 6 properties today. I can't wait!