The Foodandbeermonger

DK Sushi - Austin, TX

2008-08-20T19:54:00.007-04:00

Sweetmonger and I ate at our first sushi restaurant since we moved to Austin, and it was not good. The unfortunate meal took place at DK Sushi Bar in South Austin. Without doubt, it was one of the worst sushi meals I have ever had. The fish on the nigiri pieces had almost no flavor. They were so bland that I sipped my lemon water after each one just so that I would have a little taste in my mouth. Our rolls were not much better. They were essentially just seaweed and rice, as the chef was very stingy on the amount of fish he put it in. This was a bad meal and I will certainly never return to DK Sushi. I only hope that this experience is not characteristic of the Austin sushi scene.

DK Sushi Bar

www.dksushi.com

6400 South First St.

Austin, TX 78745

Crisp and Juicy

2008-08-20T10:54:00.003-04:00

There are certain local restaurants that everyone knows (Clydes, Ben’s Chilli Bowl), and there are restaurants that everyone should know. Crisp and Juicy qualifies as one of those restaurants.

Located in the Lee Heights shopping center in Arlington, Crisp and Juicy offers the best rotisserie chicken in Washington. Please note the definitive use of the word best – this is not up for debate. The chicken is perfectly moist, the skin is perfectly seasoned and the house sauces served on the side could possibly be my favorite condiment (that may not seem like a big honor but I love BBQ sauce. For a side sauce to top a good BBQ sauce is an impressive feat). I usually opt for the hot sauce but the mild is just as popular.

Crisp and Juicy also offers a number of sides that come with your meal. I am not a big fan of rice and beans, but they’re supposed to be great if that’s your thing. I prefer to opt to make a meal as unhealthy as possible so I like to order the fried yucca. It’s nothing special but its serves its purpose as a flavorful complement to chicken.

Make the trip to Arlington to visit Crisp and Juicy. The chicken is as good as you'll find and that’s all I've got to say about that.

Wink - Austin, TX

2008-08-16T13:45:00.006-04:00

I have a problem with expectations. To begin with, I think I am a pretty tough critic to please, especially at high-end restaurants. When I pay a lot of money for a meal, I expect perfection. In addition, I read way too much about restaurants before I visit them and I get myself psyched up for a possible exceptional meal. Usually though, my expectations are not met. Sometimes they are, like at CityZen, Komi, Town House and Michael Mina. However, just as often, the meal falls well below my expectations, i.e. at Le Bernardin, McCrady's, Citronelle and Daniel. Thus, when Sweetmonger and I visited Wink last night to celebrate our engagement, I made sure not to expect greatness. I simply wanted a good meal to contribute to our excitement. Therefore, I was pleasantly surprised by what Wink put forth.

Choosing a restaurant in a new city (We've been here just over a week) to celebrate an engagement is difficult. I didn't want to do Uchi because we had already tried it, and the Driskill Grill was out because within the last year it has lost both its Executive Chef and his sous chef. Thus, I was not convinced its astronomical prices would be a wise investment. I settled on Wink because it specializes in the type of fine dining that I have been led to believe most represents Austin: allowing fresh, local ingredients to speak for themselves.

As mentioned above, Wink is about fresh and local. The menu changes everyday and according to the restaurant, "99%" of the menu's ingredients are sourced from two local farms. If this is true, it is quite impressive. After a glass of champagne courtesy of my cousin Cakemonger (who lives about 1,500 miles away), Sweetmonger and I opted for the five course tasting menu.

The opening course was a very nicely done scallop dish. A perfectly seared, large, juicy, silky and sweet scallop was served with a celeriac puree and house made pancetta. The puree balanced out the saltiness of the pancetta and they went great with the scallop. This was a very good dish.

Second, we had a bison tartare served with truffled toast, porcini mushrooms, pickled garlic syrup and one small sliver of tomato. This was another very good dish; however, I would recommend placing four or five more tomatoes on the plate. The tomato was fresh and burst with summer flavor. I just wish I could of had more.

The third course was braised, local rabbit with house gnocchi and shaved black truffles. This was essentially a very good stew. The rabbit was tender and delicious and the truffles added some luxury to what was otherwise a "homely" dish. As tasty as this dish was, I am not sure it was the best thing to serve on a Austin August night. Nevertheless, I had no complaints with the flavors.

Our entree was seared venison with onion rings, crushed potatoes and a butternut squash puree. Outside of the crushed potatoes (which was just a basic hash brown) that tasted fine but added nothing to the dish, the entree was great. The venison was cooked as well as it can be. It was tender and so very good, and the onion rings were worthy of the Dip Dog Stand. For those of you who don't know, the Dip Dog Stand (www.dipdogs.net) is the best food stand in the country. It is located in southwestern Virginia and serves corn-dogs unlike anything you have ever seen or tasted, and their onion rings are greasy and wonderful.

Our final course was a very good cheese plate, which we opted for instead of a sweet dessert. Nothing we had at Wink wowed us, but at the same time nothing was disappointing and we had few complaints. The meal was very good. Furthermore, Cakemonger had phoned the restaurant to let them know that we were celebrating our engagement. Needless to say, we were surprised when we got there and our service was excellent. Wink is definitely a restaurant to which we would return, but perhaps only for a special occasion because it is expensive and I am now a poor law student.

Wink

http://www.winkrestaurant.com

1014 North Lamar Blvd.

Austin, TX 78703

Congratulations

2008-08-15T10:15:00.003-04:00

Congratulations to the Monger and Sweetmonger on their engagement. Their mutual love of food and beer helped bring them together, and was the inspiration to launch this blog. Their discriminating tastes have helped raise the discourse in the Washington dining blogosphere (who can forget: "Y'all ain't go no pallet") and should be a valuable (if not eccentric) addition to the up and coming Austin dining scene.

PS -No word yet if he is going to take her name.

El Chile - Austin

2008-08-12T13:59:00.008-04:00

Sweetmonger and I have been in Austin less than a week and we have, perhaps not surprisingly, already eaten Mexican twice. The first was at Polvos, the excellent Mexican restaurant we tried during our visit in June. Our second meal was on Sunday at El Chile. Our guide book to Austin Restaurants, The Fearless Critic, ranked El Chile as Austin's best Mexican restaurant and in this town that is high praise.

Once inside El Chile, one is not sure where he is. Trendy music, colors and pictures are paired with distinctly elementary school cafeteria tabletops. This restaurant certainly tries to be trendier than Polvos, where you feel you might actually be in Mexico, but I'm not sure it succeeds.

The meal was hit and miss. My house margarita was excellent. Not too sweet and enough tequila to let me know it was in there but not too much to overwhelm. Also, El Chile's salsa was some the best I have ever had. Made from oven roasted tomatoes and jalapenos, it was dark, smoky and without a doubt wonderful.

Less successful was our rajas con queso. Described by our guide book as "remarkable," this queso with roasted poblanos and onions was anything but. It was weak on flavor and its texture was way too sticky.

The entrees were certainly more refined in presentation than what you get at most Mexican restaurants. But whatever these entrees gained with more refined presentations, they lost in flavor.

Sweetmonger had the fish tacos which she said were light in taste and lacked spice. I, on the recommendation of The Fearless Critic, went with the "best in town" shrimp enchiladas. They were fine, but for a restaurant considered to be Austin's best Mexican restaurant, they were vastly disappointing.

El Chile is a restaurant at which a group could have a great time but I don't think its a place where you could ever have a great meal.

El Chile

www.elchilecafe.com

2209 Manor Rd.

Austin, TX 78722

Thaiphoon (Dupont Circle, DC)

2008-08-08T15:00:00.000-04:00

I recently visited Dupont Circle, an area of DC that unfortunately I have not been to many times recently. What a mistake. There is so much going on in this part of the city, especially the food scene.

I went to a well known local favorite, called by some the best Thai restaurant in DC: Thaiphoon.

Upon entering, the restaurant was busy but still had a few empty tables, so fortunately there was no wait.

I began with a glass of tap water to drink. I was surprised. This was one of the tastiest glasses of water I have had anywhere in America, let alone Washington DC. It was very refreshing on this hot summer night, and soon I needed a refill. It was equally as good.

The appetizer came out soon after: Satay. These chicken skewers, with the accompanying peanut sauce, really hit the spot for me.

Next came my Thaiphoon Noodle entree. This dish was so so for me. The seafood portion of shrimp, squid, scallops, and mussels were flavorful and delicious. I, of course, finished them all. Unfortunately, the stir fried noodles were way too greasy and thus too heavy to eat. Same for the overly oily string beans. I only had a few before I set my fork down. The entree was not spicy at all, even though there was a "2 pepper" warning icon next to the dish on the menu!

Overall, I enjoyed my water and appetizer, as well as my entree's seafood, very much at Thaiphoon. However, I can only recommend going to Thaiphoon about once a year because the food is so damn heavy.

Thaiphoon
http://www.thaiphoon.com/
2011 S St NW
Washington, DC 20009
(202) 667-3505

Town House Grill Redux

2008-08-08T11:36:00.000-04:00

To break up the trip to Austin, Sweetmonger and I stopped at my current favorite restaurant, the Town House Grill in Chilhowie, Virginia. The flavors, textures and presentations are unique and fascinating and the meal was one of culinary amazement.

When Sweetmonger and I made the reservation, we asked to have the kitchen simply cook for us, and the Town House supplemented their daily seven course tasting menu with about five or six new, wonderful and inventive dishes. The resulting meal (except for one dish) wowed us and left us unbelievably satisfied. I am more than confident in saying that the Town House is one of the country's very best eateries and the best molecular restaurant I have been to (Minibar, Schwa and McCrady's being the others).

The meal started off with four delicious snacks highlighted by the Town House staple black olive "Oreo" cookie with Parmesan cheese. The first savory course of the night very well may have been the meal's best. It was without doubt the perfect opening course to a summer meal. Chef John Shields sent out a frozen gazpacho with a small cucumber melon. This dish was intensely flavorful yet beautifully refreshing. The cucumber flavor was wonderful and the dish's texture, similar to a sorbet, was unique and interesting. I loved this dish.

Our second savory course was peekytoe crab with grapefruit, muscavado, curry and a kaffir lime gelee. It is the only course in four meals at the Town House that I haven't particularly liked. It still tasted fine but simply lacked the flavor wallop of the restaurant's other creations.

The kitchen followed up the crab with an astounding work of art. It was billed as "tomato with traditional flavors," and after one bite you knew what they were: Italian caprese salad. Insanely fresh and delicious heirloom tomatoes were served with a basil sorbet, Parmesan snow, powdered olive oil and other intricacies that I cannot remember. The flavors were excellent and the contrasts of temperature, warm tomatoes with cold basil sorbet, was really fun to eat. An excellent course.

Next came delectable smoked bonito wrapped in pickled watermelon and served with seaweed and ponzu. I took one bite of this dish and thought "Japan." This was another stunner.

The following "corn creme brulee" was nothing short of mind-blowing. Creamy sweet corn topped with a sugar-maple shell and Arctic char roe was served in a kind of martini glass. Simply put, Wow! Next, we got oysters with lardo, daikon radish and borage. This course was another homage to Asia and in my mind I thought "Korea." It was impeccable.

Three savory courses remained. The first was lamb shoulder sous vide for 36 hours at 63 degrees. It came with manchego cheese dumplings served in a broth of bell pepper and cardamon. The lamb was tender beyond belief and a bite including the lamb, broth and dumplings was extraordinary. After I finished the lamb, I asked for a spoon so I could soak up every last ounce of the Southwestern broth. It was delicious.

Wagyu beef with chocolate pecans, quinoa and morel mushrooms. The ingredients speak for themselves: Excellent.

The final savory course was perfectly cooked squab served with a burnt leek, rhubarb and anise sauce with a Gorgonzola ring. Squab is amazing in its own right and the sauce and Gorgonzola ring added more to this dish than any diner deserves.

I have yet to mention that every course was served with wine, and Charlie, the Town House sommelier, got a little frisky with his pours. I am not complaining because the wines were excellent; however, by the time I got to the desserts, I had neither the taste buds nor the mental faculties to fully appreciate Chef Karen Urie's creations (which I consider to be the finest desserts I have ever eaten). Nevertheless, I greatly enjoyed all three, especially "breakfast:" Cappuccino ice cream, milk foam and fatty, flavorful bacon. I wish I could describe the tastes better but the best I can do is list the ingredients for the remaining desserts. The second dessert was cherry, chocolate, toasted bran, cassia and cherry wood ice-cream. The final dessert was Virginia blackberries, foie and a soft lemon crepe. From what I can remember, they were excellent.

The only bad thing about moving to Austin, Texas, is the distance it puts between me and the Town House. This place is truly exceptional and I wish I could eat there once a week, because I am absolutely positive that I would be wowed each and every time. I love this restaurant.

Town House Grill

http://www.townhouseva.com/

http://townhouseblog.blogspot.com

132 East Main St.

Chilhowie, VA 24319

Restaurant August - New Orleans

2008-08-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

I greatly anticipated my meal at John Besh’s Restaurant August. Besh is a former Food and Wine Best New Chef and August has garnered significant praise including being ranked by Gourmet magazine as the 22nd best restaurant in the United States. After my meal, I left August with three major impressions. First, the restaurant is absolutely beautiful. The formality of the crisp, white tablecloths, the impeccable hardwood floors and the formal place settings contrast perfectly with the exposed rustic brick interior walls and the young, approachable wait staff. This is a near perfect setting in which to dine. Second, the service at August is without flaw. This was my first time dining alone at a nice restaurant and I was treated as well as I could have imagined. My final impression of August is and I really hate to say this but “the 22nd best restaurant in a America, give me a fraking break.”

I ordered the five-course tasting menu, and the food was unbelievably underwhelming. No course came anywhere close to wowing me.The meal opened with an amuse of some type of seafood foam thing topped with caviar. The caviar was indistinguishable due to the exploding blandness of the seafood foamy mess.

My first course was the only one that I really enjoyed. It was a melon salad served with 30-year-old balsamic vinegar. The melons, of which one was very fresh and flavorful watermelon, were served on top of amazing heirloom tomatoes. These tomatoes are second only to those that I had at Schwa in Chicago. They were easily the best part of the meal. They were so good that I actually asked my waiter where they came from (the Louisiana north shore)

The second course was pretty much the definition of blandness. It was billed as shrimp consume but was really just shrimp served in slightly flavored water. The consume was so watery and light on flavor that it is really surprising the kitchen even serves it. The dish was not a total failure because the shrimp were very fresh and pretty tasty.

The third course was a quail salad. Grilled quail was served with arugula, fresh peaches and a fruit vinaigrette. The arugula, peaches and dressing were very nice but the quail was overcooked and slightly dry.

The main course of the evening was a substitution. The original menu called for Kobe short ribs, but I am one of only two people in America who dislike short ribs (the other being Sweetmonger) so I asked the chef to substitute whatever he would like. Therefore, I was served what was referred to as August’s signature dish. It was roast duck seasoned with Cajun spices and sugar and served with grits, seared foie, and something else. Given that this was the restaurant’s signature dish, it was the most disappointing of the evening. The duck was overcooked and the foie was near inedible. It reminded me of the awful foie I had at McCrady’s in Charleston.

With regards to dessert, it was fine, but I cannot remember it so I am not going to try to describe it.

Restaurant August is certainly an overrated restaurant, but the setting and the service were so perfect that I still enjoyed my time there despite the tone of the above review. However, if I ever visit New Orleans again, this will not be a place to which I return.

Restaurant August

http://www.restaurantaugust.com/

301 Tchoupitoulas St.

New Orleans, LA 70130

The Monger's Going Away D.C. Dining Guide

2008-07-21T20:49:00.000-04:00

I leave Washington, D.C., for good in one week and I wanted to give my dedicated readers something to remember me by. This list in no way seeks to present a comprehensive view of the dining scene in the nation's capital but rather simply my thoughts on some the highs and lows of D.C. restaurants.

- These restaurants always serve exceptional food and are worth a special journey. These restaurants are the equivalent of Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods, watching Star Wars or attending UVA.

CityZen – Washington D.C.’s very best restaurant. The food is creative, refined yet playful and delicious.
Restaurant Eve – A farm-to-table restaurant with a tasting-room that is nothing less than an exciting, mind-blowing culinary adventure.

- These restaurants oftentimes serve exceptional cuisine and are the equivalent of Larry Bird or watching Bill Murray movies. And if you think this is too high for Bill Murray, 3 words: What about Bob.

Komi – Greek influenced, progressive-technique enhanced cuisine. Some of the creations are as good as anything I have ever tasted: goat gyro and “Caesar salad.” It is very close to 4 cutting board status.
Ray’s the Steaks – Prime, dry-aged, impeccably prepared beef served in a strip mall. Easily the best steak restaurant in the D.C. area.
Minibar – D.C.’s temple of molecular gastronomy and the city’s hardest reservation. No other meal in the city is as fun.

- These restaurants consistently serve high quality, sometimes exceptional cuisine and are much like Tom Brady or Britney Spears gossip.

Zaytinya – Jose Andres’ Penn-Quarter mezze restaurant.
Bar Pilar – Great beer and creative cuisine in the U-Street area
Makoto – The absolute best sushi in city offering a $60 10-course omakase that occasionally can approach the city’s best meals.
Kotobuki – Great sushi at an amazing value in the building above Makoto
Ray’s Hell Burgers – The owner of the area’s best steakhouse also owns the restaurant serving the area’s best hamburgers (Sorry Spike). Prime, dry-aged beef ground daily and cooked perfectly. It doesn’t get much better than that.
Pizzeria Paradiso – D.C.'s best pizza and home of the revelatory Birreria Paradiso.
Moby Dick House of Kabob – Delicious Kabobs and Hummus. One of the city’s best take-out restaurants.
The Liberty Tavern - Clarendon neighborhood restaurant that gets better with every visit.

Guajillo - My favorite D.C. Mexican restaurant, located in the Culinary Strip Mall in Arlington (home of Ray's the Steaks, Ray's Butcher Burgers and Guajillo). Friday's cheese dip and the lamb tacos are wonderful.

- These restaurants consistently serve good food but food that rarely approaches exceptionality. Will Smith's movies and basketball career (He played under the pseudonym Big Shot Rob: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Horry) define this category.

Bistro Du Coin – Dupont French bistro serving excellent mussels and a delicious hanger steak and fries.
Café St. Ex. – A very good Barish U-Street restaurant focusing on healthy and environmentally friendly ingredients. Excellent grass-fed Hamburger with sweet-potato fries.
Central Michel Richard – Michel Richard’s overrated, but still very good, downtown bistro. The fried chicken and pig’s feet are always satisfying.
Thaiphoon – D.C.’s best Thai restaurant, located in Dupont Circle
Sushi-Ko – A very good sushi restaurant, but more upscale and expensive than Kotobuki.
Acadiana – Upscale Southern cooking done right.
Bistro Bis – High quality French bistro on Capitol Hill.
Café Atlantico – Inventive Latino cuisine which offers near mind-blowing guacamole.
BlackSalt – Palisades seafood emporium and fish market.
Bistro Lepic & Wine Bar – Extremely satisfying classic French restaurant in upper-Georgetown. The cassoulet is an excellent winter dish.
Cashion’s Eat Place – Very good, playful food in Adams Morgan.

- These restaurants often serve food that tastes good, nothing more, nothing less. They could easily be compared to movies (especially recent movies) starring Will Ferrell.

Hook – Popular Georgetown fish house. The food is hit and miss.
Chef Geoff’s – Popular D.C. neighborhood restaurant attempting creative cooking.
Palena Café – Great Burger, long waits.
Bangkok Bistro – Very good Thai in Georgetown.
BLT Steak – The steaks are good (not great) and way over-priced. The atmosphere is fun though.
Basil Thai – Easy and good take-out Thai in Georgetown
Bambu – See above but in Palisades
Listrani’s – A great place for take out pizza in Palisades

- These restaurants serve food that is sometimes tasty but usually is merely passable. One could say they are the Kim Kardashian of eateries.

Michel Richard Citronelle – Washington, D.C.’s most overrated restaurant, but with the city’s single best dish: the Lobster Burger
Corduroy – The fact that this restaurant has a devoted “foodie” following is simply a sad commentary on that state of D.C. foodie culture.

- These restaurants serve food that is edible only if you are in dire need of sustenance. They are like listening to celebrities who act important and discuss political issues that they know nothing about. I.E. The cheerleader from Heroes putting Hillary Clinton on notice that she was waiting to talk to her before endorsing anyone. I'm sure Hillary was all over that one.

Blue Duck Tavern – Poorly prepared cuisine in an atmosphere that tries way too hard to be hip and trendy.

- These restaurants serve food that is inedible. Essentially, they are the restaurant world version of the NBA J.J. Reddick, the education at the University of Maryland or Sinbad (why the hell did people decide he was funny?).

Brasserie Beck – An absolute shit-hole of a restaurant. It is very hard for me to find rabbit inedible but somehow this kitchen managed to do it. Plus, all the beer is Belgian: disgusting.

0 Cutting Boards - These restaurants serve shit and are the equivalent of watching movies starring Lindsay Lohan (Freaky Friday notwithstanding) or listening to music by Heidi Montag.

2 Amy’s – Screaming children and inedible pizzas soaked through with olive-oil. It is my least favorite restaurant in Washington, D.C.

Russian Monger Promoted!

2008-07-14T16:22:00.002-04:00

In response to the Monger's impending move to Texas, the Russian Monger was recently named Chief East Coast Monger of Foodandbeermonger. His previous work has seen him circle the globe in search of great food and beer, and he was most recently a West Coast Contributing Monger. His recent move back to Washington, D.C., puts him in the ideal position to lead the Monger's East Coast operations.

He will now be in charge of all food and beer content originating from the East Coast and specifically from Washington, D.C. He is thrilled with the new position, "This is an amazing day. My palate conditioning has given me the area's best taste buds. No blogger in the world has a better title."

The other East Coast Monger, Simplemonger, was distraught with jealousy over the decision. "It's like when Jerry Krause pushed out Jordan. You've made a mistake."

Congratulations can be sent to russianmonger@gmail.com.

The New Nationals Stadium and Proof of the Coming Hyperinflation

2008-07-12T00:03:00.014-04:00

Due to slightly ridiculous and unbelievable circumstances, I have removed this post of cutting-edge political/economic insight.

The jist can be seen in the following equation:

Rich, Powerful Man + Attempt at Free T-Shirt = Coming Hyperinflation.
I told you so:
6/15 http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/080715/economy.html?.v=11
6/16 http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/080716/economy.html?.v=6

or view http://wonkette.com/401132/even-the-most-minor-joys-elude-ben-bernanke

Ray's Butcher Burgers (aka Ray's Hell Burger)

2008-07-03T10:06:00.012-04:00

As someone wrote the other day, it is Michael Landrum’s world and we are just lucky to eat in it. Not only does he own the area’s best steakhouse by far Ray’s the Steaks but he has just opened what is certain to be the area’s premiere destination for hamburgers (Sorry Spike), Ray’s Butcher Burgers (with the self proclaimed street name of Ray's Hell Burger). The burger shack located in the same strip mall as Ray’s the Steaks opened on Tuesday, and the Simplemonger and I went to check it out.

The following is Simplemonger's take: "Typically, I don't like when people give themselves nicknames. Nicknames have to be earned and bequeathed by a higher power (such as myself). So when Ray's new burger place claimed their street name is "Hell Burgers," I had to roll my eyes at the arrogance. All that being said, I've turned a corner. They've earned the arrogance. The new burger place is the King James of DC hamburgers."

I have to agree with him on the nickname thing. It is something that Spike from Top Chef would do, but in this case Michael Landrum has earned it. And on the subject of Spike, I read in a magazine interview that he said he was moving to DC so that he could be a big fish in a small pond. Who the hell does this guy think he is? He finished 5th on the Bravo game show and loves to cook frozen scallops. That does not make you a big fish in any pond.

Turning back to Hell-Burger. Walking in there is a distinct resemblance to its sister restaurant a few doors down. Walking up to the counter the first thing we noticed was Michael Landrum in the open kitchen butchering meat. They use the same dry-aged, prime beef from Ray’s the Steaks and ground it up in-house multiple times throughout the day.

The restaurant serves one thing: a ten ounce prime beef patty done three ways. It can be regular, blackened or Diablo style (spicy chipotle). Numerous toppings are free and applewood-smoked bacon and guacamole cost extra. The cheese selection is also impressive: American, Swiss, cheddar, blue, brie, smoked mozzarella, Muenster and Gruyere. They also offer a changing selection of artisanal cheeses.

The Simplemonger opted for a blackened burger with blue cheese, bacon, lettuce and tomato. I decided to go with the Diablo with Gruyere, lettuce, tomato and bacon. I had it cooked to the recommended temperature so that it had a warm, red center. The burgers came out with buttery corn on the cob and a slice of watermelon.

These are serious burgers for serious people and burst with natural flavor. The Diablo was tender and juicy and the chipotle marinade gave it a delicious southwestern fire. The blackened burger had a wonderful kick and the sharp, robust and tangy blue cheese set everything off. The corn on the cob was nice and buttery and the watermelon was a welcome, healthy dessert. Furthermore, given the recent research on watermelon, the choice to serve this as a side is even more gratifying(http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080703/D91MBPC01.html).

The only criticism of the food is that I would prefer the corn to be grilled instead of boiled, but the burgers are absolutely excellent.

As good as the food was, the best part of opening night was that everything was free. When they do start charging, the $7 burger is going to be a steal.

Ray’s Hell Burger
1713 Wilson Blvd.
Arlington, VA 22209

Europe Diary - Prague

2008-06-25T08:57:00.000-04:00

I went to Kozicka, a traditional Czech restaurant for dinner. I ordered a pork chop and some rice for dinner, and it may have been my best meal of the trip. The pork was flavored with a light curry. It was not spicy like an Indian curry dish but retained the best elements of the flavor. Definitely a trip highlight.

- Simplemonger

Europe Diary - Rome/Prague

2008-06-24T11:19:00.003-04:00

The food in Rome was as good as advertised. Even cheap restaurants, tourists traps, and street vendors offered good pizza or prosciutto sandwiches. Chonie Coroni was a huge fan of the gelato and managed to convert me. It is a lot richer than traditional ice cream and I could only eat small portions, but it was fantastic. My only complaint with Italian food is that they don't seem to believe in breakfast. On a side note my traveling party tried to sack the Forum and have the scars to prove it. Thankfully, we know we haven't started a world war yet because France hasn't surrended.

I'm not a huge fan of the food in Prague. It's basically German food (I had pork schnitzel and fried cheese for dinner) and clearly takes a back seat to the beer. The city itself is incredible. It is nothing like I expected.

- Simplemonger

Moby Dick House of Kabob

2008-06-23T10:39:00.006-04:00

I am entering my last month in Washington, D.C., and am starting to become nostalgic for all the great things I am going to miss about the city. Last weekend I partook in two of Washington D.C.'s great treasures: the Grooming Lounge and Moby Dick House of Kabob.

The Grooming Lounge is the only place I have found in 6 years of searching that I can get a good haircut. It's not like I have difficult hair, but somehow at anywhere other than the Grooming Lounge, one of two things happen. Either they cut it way too short exposing my ever-receding hairline or I come out with a mullet. And it isn't one of those awe-inspiring Billy Ray Cyrus type mullets. I would be more than content to pay for one of those. But it's a subtle mullet that is difficult to detect and not always noticeable. When it is; however, it is maddening. Thus, finding the Grooming Lounge is one of my proudest moments. This mecca of men's hairstyling is decorated in dark wood and black leather and staffed by wonderful barbers. A great haircut, an excellent scalp and back massage and hot towels for the face: every experience here is relaxing and worth every penny.

Which leads me to another place worth every penny. Moby Dick House of Kabob is my favorite take-out restaurant in the area. The kabobs are insanely good, and it is tempting not to eat there three times a week. Either go with the chicken platter with sumac topped rice or order the delectable and succulent swordfish kabob with rice and grilled onions and tomatoes. And always get hummus with fresh pita bread. The bread is soft, yet piping hot, and the hummus is creamier than any version I have ever tried. This is one the restaurants I will miss most. I only wish an Austin outpost was in the works.

Moby Dick House of Kabob
http://www.mobysonline.com/
1070 31st. NW (and many other locations)
Washington, DC 20007

Kerbey Lane Cafe

2008-06-22T15:03:00.000-04:00

I love brunch. I love health food. And I really love hippies. I have always wanted to be one….I just can’t seem to pull it together. But that is neither here nor there. The above being said, I was super excited when a friend mentioned this place in Austin and I googled it. It looked perfect. And by the end of our six day stay (including five mornings), we had eaten at Kerbey Lane three times. The Cafe offers your standard breakfast/brunch fare. Omelets, pancakes, breakfast sandwiches, etc. They also have a lunch and dinner menu that is seasonal and appeared delicious, but alas we didn’t have time to try it.

To make a long story short, I will say that everything the Monger and I ate was really good and satisfying. Omelets and scrambles made with fresh local produce, natural ham and sausage. Last but not least I will mention the pancakes. One day we had the whole-wheat apple pancakes. These were very hearty and really amazing. However, if you are looking for a light summer breakfast I would not suggest them. They are definitely more fall/winter fare (if that even exists in the perpetual summer of Austin). My absolute favorite thing we ate at Kerbey Lane was the peach-pecan pancakes. With chunks of ripe peaches and just enough pecans, they were almost good enough to be dessert, but not sweet enough to make you sick after a few bites. I highly recommend them. Although, Kerbey Lane changes their pancake offerings daily so they may not always be available. Oh well, all the more reason to go every morning and do some culinary investigating.

Kerbey Lane Cafe

http://www.kerbeylanecafe.com/

2700 South Lamar Blvd. (And other locations)

Austin, TX 78704

Europe Diary - Rome

2008-06-20T12:05:00.002-04:00

Had prosciutto and melon for lunch. It was delcious. Peroni seems to be the only beer available.

- Simplemonger

Polvos and Stubb's BBQ - Austin, Texas

2008-06-20T11:22:00.008-04:00

Although Uchi was obviously the best restaurant we ate at in Austin, Sweetmonger and I had some very good, low-key meals elsewhere. These included a wonderful Mexican place called Polvos and the famous Stubb's BBQ in downtown Austin. Bang for the buck, these places are hard to beat as the bill with alcohol and tip never topped $35 at either.

Polvos is located in south-central Austin and is just in a building on the side of the road. It has a large outdoor seating area and the decor is pretty much your standard Mexican restaurant stuff. Chips and salsa are a little different here as Polvos operates a self-service salsa bar instead of just bringing it to the table. Sweetmonger was tasked with choosing among 3 different salsas. She chose two but we have no idea what they were. She asked another diner who simply said, "Umm . . . I'm not sure. I just come here hungry and eat. I don't ask too many questions."

Whatever Sweetmonger brought back was very good as was the queso with guacamole, onions, peppers and amazingly seasoned ground beef. For our entree, we both got the exotic taco, which is a huge flat tortilla topped with rice, cheese, grilled pineapple, pork (or your choice of meat) and Cartuja sauce (or your choice). Not really sure what the Cartuja sauce was but it was damn good. We will be returning many times to Polvos once we move to Austin.

Stubb's BBQ is an Austin institution known as much for its amphitheatre and great concerts as it is for its food. On our visit we were there to sample the food and we skipped appetizers and just ordered entrees. She got the pulled pork sandwich (I know . . . it's Texas. Beef is the norm, but what can you do? She's stubborn) with cheese spinach and potato salad, and I went with the brisket plate with cheese spinach and side salad. She really liked the sandwich and loved the cheese spinach. It along with the Tuna and goat cheese dish at Uchi was the best single thing I had while in Austin. It's very cheesy, but there is still a decent amount of spinach flavor. What sets the dish off though is the incorporation of Serrano peppers. It adds spice and a wonderful Tex-Mex aspect.

My brisket, on the other hand, was not nearly as good. It was fine and had a nice smokey flavor, but something was lacking. I also found the world-famous Stubbs BBQ sauce a little bit of a let down. Furthermore, the fact the the sides are put on the plate with an ice-cream scooper is a turn off. It reminds me of my high-school cafeteria, but the spinach is good enough that I will return over and over.

Polvos:

polvos.ypguides.net/

2004 S. 1st St.

Austin, TX 78704

Stubb's BBQ:

http://www.stubbsaustin.com/

801 Red River

Austin, TX 78701

Uchi - Austin, Texas

2008-06-16T14:06:00.009-04:00

Sweetmonger and I spent the weekend in our future home (in 6 weeks) of Austin, Texas. Despite job interviews and apartment hunting, the most anticipated part of the trip was our Saturday night dinner at Uchi, Austin's renowned Japanese-New American fusion restaurant. The restaurant is located in a gorgeous, small house in the SoLa area of Austin. Executive Chef Tyson Cole is an American sushi master and was a 2005 Food and Wine Best New Chef. He learned the Japanese language and much of Uchi's fish is flown in daily from Japan. To some, perhaps most, Japanese, New American, Fusion and Texas do not go together, but Uchi for the most part lives up to its hype.

Everything on the menu (all of which is served family style) looked amazing, but Sweetmonger and I decided that the best way to fully appreciate Uchi's cuisine was to go with the tasting menu. It started out extremely promising with a wonderful amuse, the center of which was a kiwi sorbet. This tiny dish was very intricate and I cannot remember all of its parts.

Our first course was thinly sliced flounder served with Spanish olive oil, smoked sea salt, yuzu zest and a crispy quinoa. It was a light, delicious start. This flounder was followed by a equally delicious seared scallop dish. The scallops were served with mangoes, candied oranges, a brittle and some yellow sauce that I cannot think of. The brittle offered an intriguing contrasting texture, and this dish left Sweetmonger and I extremely satisfied and wanting more. At this point, Uchi was 3 for 3

The next dish was sugar-cured, maple-wood smoked hamachi, and it was served with an Asian pear and yucca crisps that acted like spoons. Again, really good. Next came grilled mackerel with toasted sesame seeds, charred shishito and watermelon confit. I am usually a huge fan of mackerel, but I found this dish merely really good and a slight let down compared to the 4 earlier courses.

Our fifth course was near perfection. Absolutely amazing blue fin tuna came with cracked pepper, Fuji apple slices, goat cheese and pumpkin seed oil. As in the hamachi dish, the apples acted like spoons with the remaining ingredients topped on. The tuna was about as perfect in flavor and texture as anything can be and the goat cheese was smooth and wonderful. The dish was certainly one of the culinary highlights (along with the surprisingly delicious creamed spinach from Stubbs BBQ) of my visit to Austin.

Uchi followed this up with a fig-leaf wrapped halibut. It was easily the whitest and most tender piece of fish I have ever eaten. It was served with some golden raisins but that's about all I can remember.

I am at a loss remembering our next course, even after looking at its photo. All I know is that it was raw tuna served two purees, one of which was pesto based. There were no obvious flaws and it was pretty damn tasty. Not the same can be said for what we thought was our main course. Uchi gave us grilled wagyu ribeye, lightly sauteed spinach and a white peach puree. Unfortunately, this was nothing more than a good salad. The ribeye was a little over cooked and the white peach puree was subtle in flavor. As a main course (or what should have been the main), it was quite a let down. Making matters worse was that on the menu I saw what Uchi called a "bacon steakie" which is a twice cooked pork belly. I mentioned to Sweetmonger how good that sounded and how I hoped that it would be on the tasting menu. Compounding the disappointment of not getting the pork, the couple next to us did. And for a solid five minutes, all they could talk about was how amazing it was. I was jealous.

Sweetmonger and I were surprised that another savory course came our way. Seared foie gras and foie gras mousse showed up with corn and cerano peppers. This really could have been the highlight of the night. The seared foie, corn and peppers created a rich, buttery yet distinctly Mexican flavor. It was really quite amazing, but the placement and construction of the dish are hard to get over. There is absolutely no reason why seared foie should be served after wagyu beef or as the ninth course in the meal. It is just way too rich. Furthermore, for the life of me, I cannot understand why foie gras mousse was on the plate. Seared foie or foie mousse is one thing. But both? How do you expect any normal person to be able to eat that as the ninth course in the meal?

Finally, our dessert was chocolate creme sandwiched between a coconut cracker and served with a dark chocolate ice cream. It wasn't very creative but it was very good.

Uchi's food, on flavor alone, is really good and much of it is exceptional. This is the standard description for a 3 1/2 cutting board restaurant. However, for me, rating Uchi is more difficult. I am not sure that the kitchen understands conceptually a tasting menu. A multicourse meal, especially one as long as Uchi's, needs to progress in flavor and ingredients. I felt that in the middle of the meal the kitchen was just sending out dishes, albeit exceptional dishes, without regard as to where they fit into the overall scheme of things. This was certainly the case with the foie course. Furthermore, I feel that too many dishes utilized fruit. I love all kinds of fruit but I want variety of ingredients.

More offending, however, was the price of the meal. The tasting menu at Uchi is priced daily and we were quoted a price at the beginning of the night. However, when the bill arrived, our waitress informed us that the chef had changed the tasting in the middle (surprise surprise) of our meal and tacked on $16 to the quoted price. Sweetmonger and I were not informed of this until our bill came. Despite protests, we paid the bill and left. The extra $16 is not that much, especially on a tasting menu, but to change the price in the middle of the meal without informing the diner is extremely unprofessional and absolutely ridiculous. I contacted the general manager over this and he apologized and said it should not have happened. Nevertheless, a restaurant with Uchi's reputation should never allow such a thing, and it left an unfortunate stain on the entire night.

I am giving Uchi 3 1/2 cutting boards because the food is intriguing and delicious and stands up well against many of the best restaurants in the country, but when the progression of the meal and the pricing mishap are taken into account, Uchi is worthy of more like 3 1/4 cutting boards (a ranking I don't have).

Uchi

http://www.uchiaustin.com/

801 South Lamar Blvd.

Austin, TX 78704

Michel Richard Citronelle

2008-06-11T11:45:00.004-04:00

Citronelle is the recipient of numerous honors: Washingtonian’s perennial number one restaurant in the city, Gourmet Magazine’s 12th best restaurant in the country and Michel Richard was the 2007 James Beard Award winner for Outstanding Chef. However, there is one award that reigns above all the others: Citronelle tops the Monger’s Shit List. It is without peer as Washington, D.C.’s most overrated restaurant serving bad and borderline inedible cuisine in a stuffy, pretentious atmosphere. Dining there is an experience I would not wish on anyone. It's like watching Kim Kardashian get a cellulite treatment: while kinda funny and intriguing, it is ultimately disgusting.

I have reflected on Citronelle’s dining experience for a few months. I was so angry after eating there that I felt an immediate review would be a disservice to my dedicated readers. Unfortunately, a few months have not dampened my anger, and every time I think about Citronelle my entire demeanor changes. It is just a miserable place to eat a meal.

The dining room is formal and stuffy. We had a waiter with an extremely heavy French accent. I have no idea what the obsession is with waiters who speak with a foreign accent that diners cannot understand. I had the same problem at Daniel in New York City. I don’t mean to rag on people with accents; I have a heavy one myself. Dining is supposed to be fun, and waiters should contribute not detract from one’s enjoyment. Nevertheless, I will make sacrifices for great food. Unfortunately, the meal at Citronelle was anything but.

Sweetmonger and I ordered the Promenade Gourmande, and it started off promising with three small, delicious starters: an egg dish, an escargot crumble and a truffle-foie gras Napoleon. The next course was a near brilliant gazpacho that only heightened expectations for the rest of the meal. However, the meal took a drastic turn after this. The famous soft shell crab tempura tasted like fried, dried-out tofu. It was inedible, and neither Sweetmonger nor I finished the dish. Our next course was a marinated cod-fish that while at least edible was nothing more than stomach filler.

Then came the Lobster Burger. I do not exaggerate when I say that it was and remains the most glorious thing I have ever put in my mouth. Words cannot describe the transcendent experience crated by the wealth of flavor this little burger has. It is mind-blowing and absolutely wonderful. If this had been the final savory course, I would have left Citronelle satisfied.

As good as the Lobster Burger was, the entrée was a just as bad. It was the single worst thing I have ever tasted. A drastically overcooked (meaning well, well done) veal hanger steak was served with sweetbreads that were drained of all flavor. This mess was topped with a hideous morel mushroom sauce. On paper this all sounds so good, but the kitchen turned it into something of which I only took two bites.

From what I remember, the desserts were good, but I was unable to concentrate after the travesty of the entrée. Citronelle consistently ranks above CityZen, Restaurant Eve, Komi and Minibar as the best restaurant in D.C. The difference is that those restaurants play chess and Citronelle plays checkers. A restaurant charging the prices that Michel Richard does should never put out a meal worthy of less than 3 ½ cutting boards much less serve multiple inedible dishes. Thus, Citronelle tops my Shit List.

Michel Richard Citronelle
http://www.citronelledc.com/
3000 M St NW

Washington, DC 20007

Tackle Box

2008-06-10T15:05:00.005-04:00

Georgetown has a few good things going for it. It has the old brick sidewalks, a great movie theatre, a couple decent bars (debatable I know but Saloon and Chadwicks at least serve as a wash for the Blue Gins of the world) and a fantastic local band (the incomparable Fallen Variant). However, for a college section of town, Georgetown is sorely lacking in the take-out department. Booeymonger and the Philadelphia Cheesesteak Factory are ok but nothing special, and the neighborhood Five Guys has to be the company’s worst run franchise. As a recent college graduate still averse to any form of cooking, the lack of decent take-out in my neighborhood has been a daily struggle.

Tackle Box is the latest contender to fill the take-out vacuum. As the name would suggest, it is primarily a seafood restaurant, and serves environmentally “sustainable” entrees off an a la carte menu. I have been to Tackle Box a few times now and have ordered their lobster roll, the fried clams roll, the crispy Pollack and the wood grilled trout. The dishes have been simple, straight forward and quite good. I have heard a few complaints from friends that the wood grilled options are bland and lacking flavor. However, this has not been my experience and they offer a variety of sauces to spice it up if your poor little palette needs some lace curtains (just kidding, I like the marinara). In addition to the main entrées, Tackle Box also offers a number of sides to complete the meal. Personally, I like the Sweet Potato fries and the mac and cheese. There is nothing unusual about these dishes but you can screw them up if you try to do too much, and Tackle Box smartly avoids this pit fall. All in all, Tackle Box is a welcome addition to local restaurants, and I’ll be stopping in frequently.

Tackle Box

tacklebox-dc.com

3245 M St NW

Washington, DC 20007

Top Chef - How the Hell is Lisa Still There?

2008-06-05T09:44:00.002-04:00

Top Chef has consistently been one of my favorite television shows for the last three years; however, this season has caused me more distress than any of the others. Despite its flaws this year, it has still been really entertaining but last night just about pushed me over the edge. Somehow, the no-talent, super-pessimistic and miserable to be around Lisa made it to the finale over Antonia. Granted, Antonia is not a great chef but she has done herself proud this season with multiple wins. Lisa on the other hand has not.

Lisa has only won 1 out of 26 challenges and has been on the chopping block 6/13 elimination challenges. Yet, through some miracle or back-room deal, she has a chance to win the entire competition. Of course, she will not win because she has absolutely no cooking talent, and Richard and Stephanie are top-notch, creative chefs. The odds of her beating them in any challenge let alone in a challenge featuring a self-created tasting menu is astronomically minuscule. However, just having her in the same finale as those two drastically reduces the show's credibility and makes me question Tom, Padme and Gail's decision making.

If through some freak occurrence Lisa pulls out a victory, I think I can speak for almost all Top Chef fans in saying that next season's audience will drop dramatically.

Napoleon House Bar & Cafe (New Orleans)

2008-06-04T14:38:00.013-04:00

Every trip to New Orleans should include trying the famous local specialty sandwich called the Muffuletta. The Muffuletta is a massive sandwich consisting of capicola, salami, mortadella, emmentaler, and provolone topped with a special marinated olive salad.

The creator of the Muffuletta is the famous Central Grocery in the French Quarter. However, it was closed when we tried to visit it on a Sunday (it is also known to be extremely crowded at all times.) As a result, we took the recommendation of a local to visit Napoleon House Bar & Cafe where locals say the Muffuletta's are superior to Central Grocery's.

We arrived at 11:30am on a Sunday and there was a line. Clearly this was a popular place, although the line moved quickly and we were sitting within 5 minutes. Service was excellent throughout, the server never bothered us except when we definitely needed him, and our drinks were always filled before we needed to ask.

We started off with the cheese board (7.50) which was just an amazing array of cheeses that everyone enjoyed, along with assorted fruit and pepperoni slices. The cheese was fresh and diverse, satisfying everyone's palate.

Our Muffuletta's came next. While most others got either a quarter or half a sandwich, I opted for a full size sandwich, which is recommended for 2. This is because I was massively hung over and starving. The first bite is always the most difficult because this sandwich is so unique. The olive salad combined with the rest of the ingredients is at first very new and strange. However, after you really get into eating this sandwich, it gets more complex and tasty. I can only imagine how much deeper the flavors would have gotten if I took some of my sandwich to go and allowed the olive salad to marinate the bread.

All in all, I was extremely satisfied with my meal, and the Muffuletta lived up to the hype. Napoleon is a great local joint where the natives hang out, and is a must try for the Muffuletta's when visiting New Orleans.

3 Cutting Boards
Napoleon House Bar & Café
http://www.napoleonhouse.com/