So Won't You Break Free †

now this is the story all about how, tianyi's life turned upside down.

2008-05-31T07:40:00.003+08:00

Yesterday God told me to let go of all my baggage.
and i believe, its true for most of the things/stuff that's been happening rather recently.

For the past 2 weeks i've been rather burdened with like a tremendous load of things, (studies/whos gonna replace me when im on duty/ etc)

and.. yeah honestly i haven't been doing qt.

like after i got back my results i think i just totally deviated from it.
And... yeah im hoping that in these last 2 weeks before i fly off, God will really bring me closer to him... before my life really turns upside down. or something like that.

another cool thing

2008-05-24T22:20:00.002+08:00

i led bs for my cg this week, the 'older' group and i had a lot of fun preparing for it coz it was a good time waiting on God, praying and even carefully thinking through the questions and reflecting upon how God has worked in my life and praising Him for such all over again. what was the greatest milestone in your christian walk? one that changed the way u saw God forever?

mine was when i was like 19? during that period for about a year, i felt very isolated and alone and i tried to fill that gap with shopping. i know, terrible right? haha. but yeah. i remember once when i came back on sunday evening with bags of clothes and what not and they just laid there in their glossy bags and that's when it became so clear to me that things of this world cannot satisfy. from then on, it was a bittersweet experience of looking to God for comfort and strength. i remember not being able to sleep at night, waking up at some weird hour at night and then reading the book of Isaiah. during my season of darkness, God's light shone bright for me and led me out. that was the time when i grew the most in God, when He was so much closer to me than anyone else. i knew from then on that there's no turning back from God. how can i turn back from the one who was there for me when no one else was and no one else could understand what i was feeling and going through? that period, on hindsight, was the best time of my life.

and yeah, can u say that there's no turning back on God for u from this time forth? if no, then why not? but if u want God to bring u to that point of i don't know how to put it, then just ask Him to deepen His relationship with u but hey, be prepared for what that could entail.

anyway, i deviate. the other cool thing i learnt about worship this week is that true worship involves a turning away from the ways and standards of this world. we cannot claim to be worshippers of God if we still have one leg in the ways of this world and what not. we cannot subscribe to the doctrines of this world and say that we are true worshippers of Christ. with God, things are pretty much white and black i think. it's only us who try to find excuses, muddy things up and say they're grey areas. if we really seek God and ask to know His standards, He will reveal, whether through His word or people or whatever.

so, which side are u on?

back from bangkok!

2008-05-16T10:57:00.002+08:00

hey guys,
just touched down last night. spent about 4 days and 3 nights there and it was a lot of shopping and food. we ate tom yum soup and phad thai and sticky rice till we nearly dropped. hee.
anyway, i'm thankful that i went on the trip coz it really made me disciplined about qt and i've been very blessed so i wanna share about that and some lessons i learnt from exodus about worship.

i felt so loved by God during the trip coz He opened my eyes to see Him working and answering my prayers. minor things like praying that we won't get cheated by cab drivers to more significant things like getting to know the other people on the trip better coz i went with my good friend and her church friends and it was a good learning experience too coz i saw how much they love each other and their friends and flock in church and the thing about how others will know that we are disciples of Christ when we love one another popped up for me very strongly. i enjoyed the quiet mornings spent in prayer and word whilst the others were sleeping too. it was very refreshing and not like most holidays where there's a get out by a certain time thing but a lot more free and easy.

so anyway, i've been reading exodus ever since sun coz i was inspired to read it after the mother's day message and i'm excited about the lessons i'm learning from it. from exodus 10:

25 But Moses said, "You must allow us to have sacrifices and burnt offerings to present to the LORD our God. 26 Our livestock too must go with us; not a hoof is to be left behind. We have to use some of them in worshiping the LORD our God, and until we get there we will not know what we are to use to worship the LORD."

this passage spoke to me coz it's about bringing our all to worship and being ready to sacrifice whatever He calls us to lay down. it's about faith too and having such a close walk with God that we hear immediately what He calls us to lay down. it's that readiness and trust that is essential when we approach God and i was just like wow. i wanna do that and be like that too.

ya la. let's keep praying for the ym too. it's a spiritual work and requires spiritual means.

2008-05-13T22:27:00.004+08:00

i think yesterday was one time where i learnt what true worship is.
its not about how you do it, or where, but more of why you do it. and how you respond to the things around you.

2 days ago, i had to run around my house neighbourhood in ...disgustingly disgusting shorts.
when i went out. i felt so crap like i just didn't feel like doing the daily jog.

and thats when God reminded me about true worship; why do you raise your hands in worship? Cuz the congregation does it? or cuz it looks cool? ( ok clearly it doesn't)
but how bout more of cuz we lift it to actually praise God? To have the actual close and personal worship that we share.

another time when i went jogging, God impressed upon me the decision i should actually have taken. and i believe will have to take sooner or later.

As some of you know, i may not be able to make it for worship pracs because i got a cca in the morning, thus the two commitments collide. And as i was asking God for help, to find out which way is the way he wishes for me to continue.
He gave me this sentence
" A true christian walks the narrow path, Many fall out of it into the wide one"
even though God didn't exactly answer my question. but i think he was talking about how easy it is for my to just lie and give a fake excuse just to skip band and go for prac.

which i sometimes have been doing. So... i guess that the direction he is kinda leading me into is to withdraw from the music min for a while.

Maybe. i don't really know yet.

"In Him I will put my trust"

2008-05-10T21:16:00.002+08:00

Really lazy to copy and paste the entire thing... Pls refer to my blog for the fortnight post

http://yqcabizpark.blogspot.com

Thanks,
Yong Quan

exams over

2008-05-01T12:27:00.002+08:00

hey guys,

yes, i'm the bad example that no one should follow coz i have not been blogging at all since err, i don't even dare to go back to check. haha. i'm very sorry. i had a crazy workload this semester and it was a lot of book reading, essay writing, tests, essay(S) re-writing (this was the ultimate horror) and then the rush to exams. i finished my last paper yesterday so yay! rejoice with me. haha.

yeah, because of my own mad school life, i haven't been focusing my energies and mind on youth music. that's my error/sin. tianyi suggested that we have a meeting next sun, 11 may so yeah, i'll send out agenda soon but it's mainly to catch up and pray coz there're so many things we need to commit to God together. the bassist crisis has been a real downer for me. i'll share more when i see everyone and hmm, i'm quite happy that now that the hols are here, i'll be able to focus my energies and time properly. i'll most probably ask u guys out for tea or something so pls don't break my heart and refuse me!!!! haha.

i concur with pastor completely about not being complacent coz for a while, i think i was praying about that too. i say i think coz i have zero memory now :P and yeah, i've been sorta asking God, how come there doesn't seem to be fruit in the ministry, particularly the ymm. like the musicians who serve. i pray for them that even if when they started playing, they didn't have a relationship with God then somehow through service, that relationship will start and somehow, it doesn't seem so. if anyone wants to disagree about this, please do. and then i struggle a lot with what 'kind' of people should be allowed to serve. i'm rambling and my grammar and syntax is all over the place. gahsh. ok la. i'll try to share my heart succinctly when we have the meeting.

but let's really persevere in praying for the ministry.

You hold my future in Your hands

2008-04-22T22:34:00.005+08:00

Honestly speaking... I keep missing the deadline for the posting... Here is my post now!

Anyway, two weeks ago, after youth service... I was listening to this song "I Need You" (posted below) and suddenly one of my schoolmates came into my mind. He is those kind of person which emmits a "go-away-or-regret-it" aura. He is pretty antisocial with his face stuck into a frown... I don't know what was happening but suddenly I had the urge to talk to him... although a big part of me did not want to... The thought just got thrown out of my mind and I continued on with life...

A few days later, another song struck me (also posted below) and I saw him again in my mind... [Request] Pls pray for me about this matter, 'cos it could be that God wants me to talk to him.

I don't know what's with me and songs but YET another one hit me just last Friday... Here are the lyrics

Saving Grace

I'm holding on to you
I'm never letting go
'Cause You have saved my soul
And You have made me whole

You took my brokeness
And filled me with Your joy

All I long to do is worship
All I long to do is bring You praise
For nothing compares to You
My Saving Grace

Jesus Saviour
My life belongs to You forever
'Cause You have set my heart on fire
And You have set me free

I just got struck in the face and got some cool resolution which I (quite stupidly, thinking about it later) shared in class the following day. My resolution? "To save my entire class" It was like one of the many desires in my heart... But after saying that, I felt rather stupid and lame as a thought came into my mind "Why don't you put your actions to where your heart is? Studies are more important! Why care about it?" (Summarised thoughts)

Spiritually dry now... But I believe that God is going to do something mighty in my school... He planted me there for a reason... since I tried getting out of my school last year and I FAILED!!!

Yeah... That is about all I got to share for today... Cheerio!

In God's mercy,
Yong Quan

P.S Songs are in my listening order...

2008-04-20T18:30:00.003+08:00

somehow. beautiful savior started playing on my itunes.
then i felt peaceful. and i sat there at my com just singing and worshipping God through all the music and stuff.

really awesome.
Nothing really to share. but then again... somehow i feel really close to God on Sunday afternoons. when everything seems so dreary.

EDIT/6.50PM

i dont know this is so awesome... as i was listening to the song 'devotion'
i felt this wave of 'thing' just impact on my face... then i just broke down. for like. 3 mins.
For no absolute reason.
once again, God showing his greatness during pre monday blues.
legendary

2008-04-10T15:42:00.002+08:00

was reading shumms post... and i thought may as well write this down before it escapes my mind
this happened last sunday on 5th april

So... as usual i was feeling all gloomy and sad la. pre monday blues.
Then i dunno why but i just picked up the book Joel lent me 'God Chasers' i think the title was.

So.. yeah after i read the book. i started crying for like no apparent reason?
uhh i lazy to write the whole experience again so can go to my blog... its
http://watchthis-space.livejournal.com
yups.
and i believe it was like.... so cool that Pastor A was also talking about like not being complacent a few weeks ago... and not to stop at this 'start of the revival' stage.

cuz like in chapt 3 of the book. they were talking about how it always feels good at the start (At Youth Camp 2007)
And then later on it gets boring (Now)
so like... i mean just strive on lah.. theres no point stopping now since we've worked so hard just to get this thing started.

oh yes and before i forget... it also talks about having the hunger and thirst for God. which somehow also kinda linked to the bible verse i was sharing during devotion...so.. yah la quite cool.
i guess that our Youth's Hunger for God hasn't really reached that stage of impact yet....
so... dunno.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D: D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D (((:

"i have nothing to give"

2008-04-10T00:18:00.002+08:00

hello!! haha so sorry i've not blogged here in a really long time.

been quite busy with school and all, and spiritually okay i guess. i think one thing that is bad about being busy is that all the days seem to blur into one, and right now i'm finding it hard to remember what significant events have happened to me in the last month.

but here's a short sharing from my QT last night :)

“5Then he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, 6because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’

7“Then the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ 8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness[a] he will get up and give him as much as he needs. ” (Luke 11: 5-8)

“I have nothing for him to eat”. As we are aware of our inadequacies, intercession becomes the only hope and refuge. I may have knowledge, a loving heart, and be ready to give myself for those under my charge, but I cannot give them the bread of heaven. With all my love and zeal, still “I have nothing to set before him” (Luke 11:6, KJV).

my QT reading for the last couple of days have been about intercession, and the need to pray fervently, but i’ve been struggling to really understand and apply this truth to my life. and so last night when i read that i could finally identify with the motivation for intercession, especially after my faltering attempts to start caring more for my CG members. and beyond increasing our motivation to pray, i think a sense of inadequacy is also useful because it helps to keep us humble, which i find difficult sometimes. so yeah that was a pretty timely lesson for me :)

i guess all of us are probably going through a busybusy patch now, so i think we really need to pray more that as a music comm, we'll continue to be good spiritual examples for others. and perhaps a fresh touch from God? i dunno for me sometimes serving becomes very routine, just another saturday in church, so yeah that's not good i think.

haha okay enough rambling off to mug goodnight people! TAKE CARE :D

29th March YM Service

2008-03-29T22:58:00.005+08:00

Whoa... that is a long title... Anyway... Today's service really touched me, esp. during the worship...

About my past week... My school lost in the debate competition, my test are totally cashed and my blood pressure during the past week has enough power to drive a car from Singapore to KL... without any fuel, just raw power. My spiritual walk was also rather low, I just could not see God anywhere in my past week... I'm so not myself the past week...

In God's grace,
Yong Quan

2008-03-26T23:24:00.002+08:00

don't we ever wonder what it would be like to just live your life spreading the gospel of God, with no care in the world other than to preach his word?

have you ever felt like just giving up on your studies and just work for the church?

To Live is Christ but to Die is Gain
Philippians 1:21

(no title)

2008-03-16T04:19:00.003+08:00

I just realised that Planetshakers banned most of their videos on Youtube... Anyway...

This song hit me straight in the face, esp. the bridge. I dunno... it triggers me that God really loves us and that God can do everything! He can even change our lives with a drastic turn!

Anyway... the past 2 weeks was rather hectic. In the last week of school my class got a pop quiz for Chinese... a very nice "end-of-term" gift... and I was very discouraged by my debate competition on the 7th where my team lost by half-a-mark to Orchid Park Sec... God was very real to me the past week... I'm not sure how to explain it...

That's mainly it... See ya soon.

In God's grace,
Yong Quan

2008-03-14T20:04:00.002+08:00

k... needed to post again.

And i must say that...well it's been rather ok for the past few weeks i guess
nothing really bad or good has happened.

I guess i still need abit more of God in my life these days, with all the school stress and stuff.
other than that...my studies got a little better i guess
so yup.. not too bad

Doing Fine

2008-03-12T00:42:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Have been rather bogged down with work, worship pracs (put in quite some effort for the Tony Anthony and BB services) and other stuff the past 2 week. When I do get sometime on my hands I'm usually too tired to do much - to the extent that today was the first time I went to the gym in 3 weeks. So when it comes to blogging the inertia is even more superb as you can probably deduce by the un-updated Youth blog.

But yep, despite the tiredness things have been going swell with God. Think the main thing that has encouraged and at the same time discouraged me is inviting the Teban youth for Youth. After some events that happened this year that high-lighted the fragility of life, I opine that I now feel more burdened to evangelize to the people around me than ever before.

Anyway, back to the Teban youths. Don't think I have been so direct and persistent in asking people to come down to church. I felt that I had to be politically correct and there was some unknown fear that hindered me from asking people come down. So when the Tony Anthony service was approaching I was starting to feel a little uneasy about asking the Teban youths. Would they dislike me if I asked them to go down to church? Would they reject me? (Ok, I know that by saying,"No" they aren't rejecting me but God but back then I didn't really like receiving negative replies)

But then I knew that there was Youth CG the coming Saturday and one of the discussion pointers sent in the e-mail was to ask the CG who they would be inviting. I thought to myself,"How can I ask my CG members to invite their friends if I myself don't lead by example?". This compounded with the whole "fragility of life" thing made me want to step out in faith and just ask.

Ok, it's getting late and I need to be at Teban at 7.30am so I shall summarize:

- I wanted to invite the Teban Youths personally
- I had a fever and was dying so I wrote notes to them
- They did not respond but I used that note as a talking pointing
- Other youths who did not get the note were curious why they didn't get it
- My courage began to grow and I asked them boldly
- I was surprised that they were very receptive
- A number said they would come but remained uncontactable
- 3 came (encouraged) the rest pang-seh (slightly discouraged)
- I don't find asking people down to church or talking about God as intimidating once I've tried
- I thank God that He placed me in TG and I believe He has used these Youths to teach me that inviting people to church and sharing your faith isn't that tough
- I'm now more burdened for my own personal friends
- I need to find time to pray, rebuild bridges, share God with these people

Cya @ Teban Kids Games tomorrow blokes...

passion and purity

2008-02-29T10:38:00.002+08:00

i have to say that i'm quite impressed that people remembered to post without me having to send a fierce email or whatever. definitely a refreshing change. haha.

but anyway, i'll just share something from my qt 2 days. i'm reading from that lent booklet thing we were given. i'm quite a few days behind the actual schedule but i don't think it really matters but anyway, the one i'll be sharing from is dated 22 feb. it's from exodus 16:9-21 (ESV).

9Then Moses said to Aaron, "Say to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, 'Come near before the LORD, for he has heard your grumbling.'" 10And as soon as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, they looked toward the wilderness, and behold, the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud.
the thing that really touched my heart is that God is not slow to answer and it's incredible how even when we grumble, when others would draw away from us coz we're being so bad mood or whatever, God calls us to draw near to Him. even when we're grumbling against God, He calls us to draw near to Him.

11And the LORD said to Moses, 12"Ihave heard the grumbling of the people of Israel. Say to them, 'At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall be filled with bread. Then you shall know that I am the LORD your God.'"

13In the evening quail came up and covered the camp, and in the morning dew lay around the camp.
and then He provides in abundance.

14And when the dew had gone up, there was on the face of the wilderness a fine, flake-like thing, fine as frost on the ground.
His provision is obvious. there's no need to search high or low for it. it's right in front of us. it's whether we recognise the provision or if we need, like the Israelites, Moses to point out God's provision for their physical hunger.

15When the people of Israel saw it, they said to one another, "What is it?" For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, "It is the bread that the LORD has given you to eat.
we need to be spiritually sensitive to His provision and blessings, to recognise them as God-given.

16This is what the LORD has commanded: 'Gather of it, each one of you, as much as he can eat. You shall each take an omer, according to the number of the persons that each of you has in his tent.'" 17And the people of Israel did so. They gathered, some more, some less. 18But when they measured it with an omer,whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack. Each of them gathered as much as he could eat.
i think this bit is about how God is one of justice and fairness. maybe it links also to how He does not give us more than we can bear in terms of trials and such.

19And Moses said to them, "Let no one leave any of it over till the morning." 20But they did not listen to Moses. Some left part of it till the morning, and it bred worms and stank. And Moses was angry with them. 21Morning by morning they gathered it, each as much as he could eat; but when the sun grew hot, it melted.
i think this is the warning bit in the passage for me because it essentially speaks of disobedience, that regarding God's commands and a refusal to heed the words of a God-appointed leader. the manna bred worms and stank speaks about how when we disobey, it will be evident. maybe not immediately coz we can lead double lives or whatever but ultimately, it will show. why? because no fruits will be borne *(John 15:5-6, NIV).

5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

and it's not just that the disobedience is manifest but it can also contaminate others around us. which is why it's so important for us, particularly those who serve in the ymm that we keep allowing God to search us and purify us and when we disobey , to quickly repent and return to God because it will affect our service. refer to Joshua 7 for Achan's sin and how that of 1 man's could affect the entire army of Israel and God's favour.

so the most important thing is that we must keep ourselves holy and humble, quick to respond to God's commands and to have soft hearts.

the time has come

2008-02-26T00:04:00.003+08:00

The time has come
To stand for all we believe in
So I for one am gonna give my praise to You
Jesus!

this post isn't going to be very lucid because this is all off-the-cuff, but here goes.

last couple of weeks were quite dry for me spiritually, but i thank God for speaking to me more clearly on saturday :) was really ministered to during the worship, and God showed me the "state of my heart". 1) that i've become too proud to WORK at my spiritual life, i.e. being satisfied with mediocre QT and sloppy prayers. 2) that i've been content with living on past mercies, or thoughts of how God was real to me in the past. so i was greatly challenged to seek God for a new revelation every single day, and not just be satisfied with the past. as it goes in lamentations 3, "His mercies are new every morning." i won't say that i'm completely out of the woods yet, but i thank God for refreshing me last saturday :)

i've been pretty stressed recently because had a lot of deadlines and stuff, so i've been having weird stomach aches (can pray for that). quite nervous about the 1march worship because prep has been so intense, and i'm just afraid that we'll end up too focussed on the technical details and not enough on God. so yeah i'm reminding myself that this is not cast in stone, God can still rearrange my set/do something else, so praying for spiritual sensitivity.

just like tian yi, i've also been having problems inviting friends for this saturday. was reminded during the message last saturday not to treat my non-Christian friends as simply a pool of people from which i pick a few to come for evangelistic events to make myself feel good, but really, i need to start making an effort to build a friendship with them. so far those i've invited have been quite non-commital about it, so i'm a little disappointed, but yeah still praying hard for them.

other than that, it is my holidays this week! hahaha so i'm pretty happy about that :D okay that's all ciao! :)

2008-02-25T20:12:00.001+08:00

sigh ok. i think i'll just share whatever i have on my mind la.

first off, was saturday...
i don't know why. but then halfway through the worship i was like. shucks la i dont really feel like i have the heart to drum anymore.

NOT that i'm indecisive in the place where i am serving now. but i just felt this feeling like i just needed to be alone and just not do anything at all.....

so yeah , i was actually hoping that the speaker wont ask the musicians to go up and play response song...cuz i really felt very displaced and frayed.

Like the passion for God inside of me was just extinguished.
And like whatever was going on inside of me was like. xian.....
But yeah im ok now i guess,after talking to some people, getting encouraged and all that.

another thing im really having trouble with is asking people to go for the tony anthony thing
I mean, its like in acs people don't really give a damn about what real christianity is lah.
To say the truth. acsI is just a neighbourhood school with lots of money.

so yeah...need a little help on that part. prayer will help alot.

and one more thing i just learnt today during my quiet time. is not to judge people.
quite cliche lah but i was actually feeling damn pissed like 1 hour ago.

so yeah im ok now lah.oh gosh my itunes is like playing all the fast songs now.... sigh
ok yeah thats all i have no lah i guess and i got 3 exams(hopefully 2) tomorrow. so yeah pray for me please if you read this by today or something(:

A Pure Heart

2008-02-24T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hi guys!

I finally remembered to post this time... Anyway...

Quite recently, my dad bought a magazine from the "Rock" Bookstore (@Suntec) and I was flipping through it the last week. This magazine is actually the NC (new century) version of the New Testament! What makes it even better is that it has slips of notes here and there for verse applications! This note struck me (kind of)... Here it goes.

Mark 7:20-22

In a nutshell, the notes reads that during Jesus' time, the spiritual leaders were concerned about outward stuff, such as sitting away from the unclean people while eating, do not eat with unclean hands etc. and they (spiritual leaders... I suppose its the Pharisees) get very jumpy when people does something wrong outwardly. Jesus mentioned the verse from Isaiah 29:13 to tell the Pharisees off. Actually, come to think about it, the only time when Jesus gets "rude" is when he talks to the Pharisees. (Cannot remember where but Jesus called them "a brood of vipers" once.)

In verse 20, Jesus mentioned that what comes out from within determines if a person is clean or unclean. Going on to verse 21-22, Jesus gives some examples about unclean things from within (Greed, murder, adultery etc.)

Personally, I think that these verses talks about how we need to have a pure heart. God forgives sins... almost every sin except denying that Jesus is our personal Lord and Saviour. A pure heart (to my opinion) is that you do not fill it with sinful thoughts, instead fill it with God's word.

I admit I don't have a pure heart... Most of the time the devil plants thoughts into my head and I entertain them. You know sometimes when you sin, you want to hide from God? I know I do. Sometimes when I know that I am sinning, but yet I let the devil coax me into doing it. After that, I am usually filled with guilt and I always run from God, thinking that He will be pissed with me and yell the crap out of me. But that is not what God is like. When we sin, we should RUN TO HIM INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM!!! When we run to God and tell him about it, He will help us out. Still, sometimes it is difficult, esp. when the devil planted the seed of that particular sin in your head and it grew into a sucking tree already.

I think the best way to conquer the devil is to pray and keep seeking God whenever the devil tries to plant the seed of sin in your head.

That is all I gotta say so far...

In God's grace,
Yong Quan

pressing in

2008-02-23T22:30:00.002+08:00

hey guys,

today's worship was quite a reminder for me in that like what pastor said, the call of God these few weeks have been to enter into His presence and ya, let's rem to pray for our ministry regarding this. pray by name if possible and yeah, for yourself too.

hmm. i think i had more to say but i can't rem now. haha. shumay is leading worship for the tony anthony service so let's pray for her too.

encourage

2008-02-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

hey guys,

hmmm. it sounds like we're all mainly going through a dry spot right now and well, sometimes i feel very burdened as a leader that i must encourage those who serve with me and build them up and stuff and i'm really thankful that today, i actually have something to say that's constructive and not meandering and all.

as those who went to church last sun should know, we all got this devotional book for lent and usually, i don't keep to these things coz i have my own way of doing devotion but coz the book looks so nice, i decided i will try to use it. it's think enough to leave in your bag and read on the bus and stuff. so anyway, i accidentally read the devotion for the second day yesterday but it really encouraged me and gave me hope coz it was mainly about God's compassion and somehow, i sensed that i should read lamentations and so i did and here's the part that i pray will lift your spirits too:

21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

31 For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

40 Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the LORD.

41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
to God in heaven, and say:

42 "We have sinned and rebelled
and you have not forgiven.

43 "You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
you have slain without pity.

44 You have covered yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can get through.

55 I called on your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit.

56 You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears
to my cry for relief."

57 You came near when I called you,
and you said, "Do not fear."

just take some time to ponder this passage and ya, claim His promise that His compassion NEVER fails and His mercies are new every morning. that's what i wanna cling to.

ok. i can't rem the other thing i wanted to say. haha :P

clean

2008-02-10T21:44:00.000+08:00

hello everyone! sigh i've really been tardy about updating here. no excuses, but spiritually i've been quite sian so haven't really had any Great Insights to share.

anyway, i guess yesterday's youth worship was quite good for me. during prac i was quite annoyed at myself because i was so pitchy (being distracted and all), and so when worship started proper i just prayed that i'd be able to worship, and not just to sing. because sometimes i find myself thinking, okay i need to remember how to harmonise here etcetc till i forget that i'm not performing, i'm supposed to be worshipping God. and yesterday what we learnt at band meeting, to worship "in spirit and in truth" was running through my head too, so that was a good reminder to constantly check whether i was truly worshipping God.

i also learnt a lot from sharon's message yesterday. the thing that stuck with me is the question, "If you didn't have your voice, would you still be able to worship God?" i really identified with her situation then, because my voice is really important to me, and singing is one of my main ways of connecting with God. even now when i'm having a slight sore throat and can't really sing properly i feel sad. so i can't imagine losing my voice and being unable to "worship" God. i'm still thinking about that question, and praying that God will one day teach me how to worship Him despite everything, and even through my "least preferred" way.

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

next week will be really busy for me, with many deadlines and appointments to keep, so you all could just pray for strength, and for discipline to study. on a side note, as part of my involvement with Campus Crusade for Christ, i'll be going around school distributing an evangelistic newsletter so that's going to be exciting! really praying that i can reach out more in NUS, because so far i've not been doing much i think. also hoping that i can invite some of my friends to various evangelistic events that are coming up, so yeah pray for boldness too (because i usually don't ask due to my fear of rejection.)

yup i guess that's all. have a good week peoplezz :)

Desperate

2008-02-08T16:15:00.000+08:00

Believe it not I've been busy too. Teban stuff and mostly preparing for this week's worship set; took real long to do the chords and practicing quite a bit cause there's no other e guitarist. Was also a bit disheartened by my first CG outing and class though and things were picking up after the Elder Shing's message.

However, with the worship prepartions, work and other worries somehow I don't feel that constant closeness with God which really isn't cool at all. One moment I feel close to Him whilst listening to songs and worshipping in my heart but then I don't feel the desire spend time looking into His word and praying. Don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling but yah, it's rather unsettling as I wonder whether I like worshipping cause of the music and the emo words instead of truely worshipping Him etc. Doesn't help that I'm worship leading and I don't like being a hypocrite urging others to worship passionately whilst I'm like bleh.

Think I really need to discipline myself to do QT and stuff (somehow Vincent's words of getting our fundementals right with God keep coming back to me). Strangely, when I read a christian book or set time aside to pray I do feel that closeness to God but it's always the starting that is hard for me. Would rather let my mind wonder to do other things and by then I would forget bout Him. Been trying to get up early to do QT but have failed miserably cause I usally wake up at around 11a.m despite my handphone alarms.

Not cool man =(, but yah, guess I should stop sulking and better get working on it! Hence when I saw Minwei's poem I felt inspired to sing it cause I think it's what I feel too...

In Your Freedom

2008-02-08T13:49:00.000+08:00

Ok... I admit... I keep forgetting to post... Anyway...

About my spiritual walk, it is pretty low for quite a while... I guess it is my part... I'm not consistant about my QT... You know those days where you just finished knockout tuition and you lie down on your bed, exhausted. The next thing you know, the following morning has arrived. My exams are coming next week.. Pls pray for me... mainly for time management.

I put the video there because this song kinda spoke to me, esp. the chorus "I love you Lord, You rescued me"

That line really touched me and it reminded me about Jesus and His sacrifice for us...

See you all tommorow!

Yong Quan

tardiness

2008-02-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

hey guys,
firstly, i think i need to commend tianyi on being the most consistent person so far. the rest, shame on us :P sigh. but i've been so tired with school, completely bogged down with work. presentations every week till mid term then all the mid term tests then all the big essays then exam. woohoo. nothing to look forward to. this sem is really the maddest so far. i just wanna rant and complain and change modules and whatever but obviously i can't. but k. my spiritual walk, honestly, not great. actually, quite bad. i haven't had such a crappy walk since maybe j1? i don't know. hard to keep time when i'm already so advanced in years. haha. but anyway, i don't have much to share except this song/poem/prose that i wrote that pretty much sums up how i feel. i asked minjia to put a tune to it. she played a lot of stuff but i don't know if she managed it in the end. but well, if anyone comes up with something nice, let me know :P

desperate

lord i'm asking once again
i long to be in Your presence
in Your throne room, at Your feet
won't You open heaven's doors
and let me in

i'm dry from being far from You
i need Your touch again
Your power to fill me through and through
set me aflame by Your might

i'm desperate for You lord
to guide me out of this desert place
lead me to the Rock that is higher
i want to see Your face

look upon Your righteousness
touch Your nail pierced hands
see the Love who died for me
that i may understand