Tales of Evie-lution in Hong Kong

Mischief galore

2008-10-07T22:07:00.003+08:00

I am still deep in the web of man trouble I have waved for myself, which is a great distraction from my job situation which continues to remain a bit uncertain. The latter does not really worry me deeply because I know that next year is not the stupid year of the Rat anymore and that things will end up working out one way or another..

So in the past couple of weeks I have continued to see George. And I don't mean in a "let's have civilized dinner dates" way, let's say our rapport has been slipping more into the "Friend with Benefits" category.. We don't call or text each other regularly, except to arrange the next meet up. And we both agree on the fact neither of us wants anything more out of it. I would never have imagined I could sustain something like that, but our level of complicity at night matches our incompatibility during the day, so it's just fallen in place naturally. We are two perfectly happy single people with not much in common but who do enjoy the company of each other once in a while for night time play dates.. I know I know, these types of situations are notoriously dangerous as one party might get hurt by starting to get attached, but I have a feeling we are both too detached for it to be a risk at present.

Flashforward to a couple of days ago. I met Eddie (who had totally disappeared off the radar screen in the meantime) on my way home from work. He asked wether I wanted to join him and some mates for drinks later in the evening, so I decided to go along. I recruited my friend Lucy to come with me. When we entered the bar, we discovered that Eddie was sitting there with a couple of other guys, including.. George! Given no one (except Lucy) knows about us we pretended to just greet each other like two people who had vaguely met before, it was quite exciting actually.. The dictionary definition of Ackward should be based on the tension in the air that night.. And so here I was sitting with on my left George who was throwing some very saucy looks my way, while trying to talk to Eddie normally on my right. While Lucy was trying not to choke into her Corona beer from repressed laughter at the whole situation..
I really enjoy talking to Eddie though, we have so much more in common and the same sense of humour. I just wish he would show some level of interest in me too, at least it would clear the whole situation with regards to the triangle with George. If I knew Eddie was interested it would be pointless if not plain cruel to keep seeing George any longer. Incidentally, they are not really friends, more like mates part of the same group of friends.
Anyhow, let's see how the Dramatic Events unfold during the rest of the month, I can foresee more intrigue to come..

Confusions

2008-09-28T14:36:00.002+08:00

So to sum up, there are two men: Eddie, just-a-friend, whom I've met up with a couple of times lately and from I never got seduction vibes until recently (I think). And then there is George, a friend (more like acquaintance) of Eddie's with whom I have already exchanged more than just seduction vibes.. Am a bit confused around what is going on with both of these projects.
So, I had a master plan: Thursday night I was supposed to see Eddie (for casual drinks), and Saturday night George (for a 2nd date). The plan was to work out on Thursday if there was something going on between Eddie and I, so that I could make a decision before Saturday on what to do with George.
Unfortunately, Thursday I did not manage to catch up with Eddie properly for logistics reasons. He did invite me to join his group of friends at a party (positive sign), but I could not make it because I was at another party and I have not heard from since (negative sign).
I did however end up meeting with George last night. I've had a confirmation of my initial instinct that he is not really the long term sort of material, but in the meantime it's quite fun to have a little side project. And I don't have the feeling of leading anyone astray as he seems to have the same view and to be someone looking more for snacks than main courses at the moment..

Will I stay or will I go?

2008-09-24T09:03:00.002+08:00

Something has come up. Not something relating to life and death, or health, but rather something has come up with my job situation. I can't tell more at this stage but it turns out in a few weeks there is a chance I may need to make big decisions: look for a new job here in HK or kick myself in the Ass and get my backpack and travel the world as I have been dreaming for a while. Suspense..

In the meantime, I continue working on my various men projects. And Thursday will be the night! I am going out and plan on meeting up with Eddie, and finding out a bit more about where we stand. Am hoping things will become much more clear: is any interest on his part or not? (Even more Suspense, it's killing me!!).

Boy trouble

2008-09-21T21:28:00.003+08:00

A couple of weeks ago I met up with my friend Eddie from back home. We went to the same school years ago, and were never particularly friends back then, and never kept in touch after, but once I moved to HK a mutual friend told me he was also living here so we started to hang around a bit.
He is a good looking guy with a taste of excentricity and the absurd. He is always a little bit dismissive, as if nothing could really impress him. I suspect he has dozens of "girl" projects on the go simultaneously. With respect to me, I never sensed any seduction vibes from him at all.
Anyhow, when I met up with him last time we ended up in a nightclub (and this was on a school night! my need to let out steam is becoming dangerous). At the club I started dancing with a very cute but also very drunk friend of Eddie's, to whom I ended up surrendering my phone number. Let's call him George.
One week later, George texts me and we agree to go on a date. This is a historical moment people. I have never been on a true date before, ie asked out by a stranger. All my other relationships have started from knowing the person first via a friendship stage.
Let's just say that the date with George went very well. He is not prime material for a serious relationship at all, so at the moment am figuring out that to do with him..
But I sense trouble in this story. Because lately I have been receiving lots of invitations from Eddie to meet up for drinks, clubbing or going hiking, which is very odd given how aloof he usually is. What if he was also interested?? I can feel an odd love triangle situation coming up..

Organizilla

2008-08-30T09:32:00.002+08:00

I am organizing a party tonight. I have invited every single person I know in HK. Now I am worried that each of these persons will also have invited every person they know in HK. And so on.

I hate organising events because I end up getting stressed. I am not a control freak who likes to plan through every detail and then smugly knows everything is under control, but then knowing there is so much stuff left to chance always worries me to bits. But on the other hand I also love organising events, it gives me a buzz and it's coming from the social butterfly in me. Usually I have these waves of Organizilla taking over, I throw events, dinners, gatherings. Then I need a few months to recover from the stress of it and each time swear to myself I will never do anything like that again. Then a few months/weeks later I get bitten by the bug again and get organizing.

Tonight will be the perfect opportunity to celebrate the fact we are coming to the close of August, the month I will always remember as Man Month 2008. Because in September I reckon we are going back to the norm.

Can you get burnt by human warmth?

2008-08-27T23:47:00.003+08:00

I wake up. Look at my alarm. It's 4 am. I take in the view of the Hong Kong skyline through my curtainless window, blurred through my short sighted eyes. I shut my eyes but a restlessness seizes me and I know I will not be falling asleep for a while. The emptiness takes over. I can see myself though an imaginary camera's eye, lying all alone in my bed, in a building full of people; it's strange how you can feel lonely in such a crowded place.

I have no wish right now to have a toothbrush partner in my life, with whom I would wake up each day, and fall asleep with after the usual arguments and mundaine conversations about who needs to remember to buy toothpaste the next day. I just wish I could press a button in those moments, in the middle of the night, and summon a presence to occupy the empty space next to me in my bed, holding me tight in his arms. Just for an hour or so, that is all.

The August Man Effect

2008-08-20T21:46:00.007+08:00

Well, here we are, I was complaining about the lack of testosterone-producing elements in my life, and I think in the last couple of weeks I got a dozeful enough to last the next six months, through a common phenomenon known as the August Man Effect:

- My father: I called him and said ok I was ready to meet him, why not Saturday lunch. He said "Uh Saturday I will need to check if I can take time off at lunch". Hello?? Last time I saw him was zillions of years ago and he does not know if he can take out one hour for lunch? Anyway, then we agreed to meet up on Sunday night for dinner. A couple of hours before he texted me and asked if it was ok to bring a colleague. Hello?? Last time I saw him was zillions of years ago and maybe it would have been nice to catch up just the two of us. Fortunately, my levels of expectations are bottom low withregards to him so nothing could have really disappointed me seriously. So we met, chatted, mostly about the weather, his job, my job, his colleague's job. And then I called it a night. I'll probably see him again in a couple of zillions of years. End of story.

- My step father: he has been sending me silly emails asking me to resolve family stuff I have nothing to do with and will not go near to with a 200 foot pole (is that the proper expression?). I have been ignoring him and his emails and take strength in the knowledge that I am an adult, free, and way too far away for anyone to force me into dealing with anything right now.

- The date-ables:
1) the is-this-a-date-lunch date: So I had this lunch with someone I met at a friend's party. We work in the same building so arranged to meet up. It very actually a friendly and chatty sort of lunch, both of us trying to figure out if the other thought it was a date. I did not think so, and I did not feel he did either. But then one week later he emailed me asking me to have lunch together again, so either it was a date, or he just thinks I am the most entertaining lunch buddy in the world.. Anyhow, he is out of the country at present so we will find out more later..
2) the Facebook date: out of the blue this guy started getting in touch through Facebook. I am not that keen on this cyber space dating thing, but then I decided it was the August Man Effect sending him my way, so I might meet him in person in a few days.
3) the Naked Guy in My Sofa: ok this one is false advertising. There might very possibly be a semi naked in my sofa in a few days, but it's a friend of a friend who needs a place to crash for the next few days, and I am hosting him. He is cute as heck though. Ah yes and totally gay.
4) The Fickle Neighbour: this is the guy who sort of asked me on a date before I went on vacation, then when I returned from vacation I spied he had a new girlfriend (I can see into his living room without particularly trying). Well last week, I bumped into him as he was walking out of his front door, and I glimpsed a guy in underwear in his flat. The mystery around him thickens..
5) the Lover: I think I may have a lover. I know you are supposed to call them that only if you are married and it's not the case, but nevertheless, I am pretty confident that technically that is what he is. I have a Lover.

Email from the genitor

2008-08-10T21:36:00.004+08:00

My patience is beeing pushed to its limits by the men in my life. Or rather my mother's men. First there is my "so called step father" who suddenly appeared out of the blue not long ago asking me for money. And now an email from my father.
The last time I saw him was probably around 2001. All in all I must have seen him about 5 times in my life. He does not know much about me, I think my aunt and grandmother whom I keep in touch with give him some news about me once in a while.
I did send him an email about 6 months ago giving an update on my life, more details about my new life in Hong Kong and in general a message saying it's not because we have not been in touch that much that we can't reconnect. Did he reply? Of course not. Not because he has anything against me, but probably because each time he started to write back he got lazy, or did not what to say, and then something came up etc etc.
Anyhow, last week I get a message saying:

Hi!

I am coming to HongKong next week, attending trade show. Staying in XYZ Hotel.

Hope you are there and would love to see you.

[Insert genitor name]

So basically he writes to me with 4 day's notice, as if he did not know months ago he was coming to town, and rather remembered as an after thought to drop me a line to tell me. And he drops exactly 2 lines, as if we were some sort of casual friends who saw each other a couple of months ago.

Am really hesitating between playing dead and totally ignoring him on one hand, or meeting him but briefly on the other. I have no anger towards him so the meeting would be very civil and polite and we would have lots to talk about, but the question, what would really be the point?

One last time, I promise

2008-08-08T20:22:00.005+08:00

Letter to Le Poulet - Basically this is the last time we will hear about him (on the blog and in my life) as I am planning to send him this. And it's time to move on.

Le Poulet,

Today we saw each other in order for you to give me the last pieces of stuff that I had left over at yours. Symbolic moment of "Basically this is it".

I never want to hear from you again, nor see you again. No more emails asking how I am and if I like this city. If any friends we have in common come and visit well they can make their own arrangements to contact us respectively without needing us to be in touch. If we bump into each other as is inevitable in a small place like this, we can acknowledge each other's presence, but really there is no need for any further communication, which would only make us both hypocrits.

I've never told you this, and it's taken over a year for me to write you this, but now is a good time, as I have enough distance regarding the situation, it's all water under the bridge now. For me, you will always be a huge disappointment. We could have been something great. What we had most people spend their life time looking for. You can not deny it was special. But you, and only you with your psychological unrest and messed up way of looking at life have destroyed it all. And for that I will forever hate you.

You are like a rotten fruit: you had all the ingredients and elements to be a great person, to make something constructive out of life. But then something bad got into your inner being and made you cynical, unable to connect to people, and overall an arsehole. Unble to give nor receive anything from anyone.

Don't get me wrong, I have no wish to be together again, on the contrary am quite relieved it's all over. Because the rotten you is not someone I (or any other person on this earth) could have had a full blossoming relationship with, one of those where you feel you are strong together to face the world.

For what my advice is worth, I don't see any positive outcome for your personal life. You will probably end up with some woman (or several) only interested in your social status and money (especially in this part of the world) - remember this when you will sit with her in a luxury resort staring at each other's face without having anything to say to each other. Maybe you will break an extra heart or two on the way, as usual without feeling any guilt or putting yourself into question. By all means, enjoy that superficial empty life.

If I had a choice I would probably chose not to have ever met you, though there is one single positive outcome from our relationship: my move to Hong Kong. To answer your question, I love it here, I have found my natural equilibrium and for that I am glad.

Anyhow, that is that, now you know why I don't have any desire to meet you for lunch, and why I don't want to receive any more emails, text messages, or phone calls from you. All that is left to say is "Have a nice life". (I am tempted to add "and eat shit and die" but that might spoil the tone).

Evie

PS - The only reason you will need to get in touch with me again is to return those pictures to me, which I gave to you in a moment of trust, and of love, which I now regret. I should hope you would have had enough of being an arsehole and would return them out of respect for me. I am not one of your whores from your collection.

Sleepless but maybe not dateless

2008-07-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

I tried to go to bed an hour ago. Because I don't have curtains in my bedroom, (only in my living room to prevent the Evil Fickle Neighbour from Next Door form seeing in my flat) I can see the full HK skyline by night. And as I look at it, even all blurry without my glasses on, I think: "DARN I love this city". And then I get all happy and then it makes it impossible to fall asleep.
That and maybe the heat plays a part.

My Friday night turned out quite interesting, as I met some nice new faces at a friend's house do. I may potentially-maybe-sort-of-on-a-coincidence-possibly have lunch with one of them next week, though have not yet worked out if it's a sort of date or not, to be continued..

Listening to my colleague the chances are on my side:
- Colleague: "Hey, Evie, are you married yet?"
- Evie, choking on her dim sum: "HHKR What? No way mate, I am not even close to scoring anything resembling a boyfriend at this stage".
- Colleague: "No WAY, that is impossible, I can not even believe it!!"
- Evie, manifestly fishing for compliments: "Why is that, dear colleague?"
- Colleague: "Because you smile a lot!".

Huh?

In the Fifth dimension

2008-07-23T23:14:00.002+08:00

Hold on a minute, was it the "4th dimension" or the "5th dimension" again? Anyhow, I don't recall what the technical expression is, but I am defintiely what feels like in the zillionth dimension. I've come back to a very different Hong Kong than the one I left from. Things have changed a lot, and I am left with an amused smile observing it all from a bit of a distance:

- Work: In the space of a few short weeks, a few people have resigned, some already left, others have taken other people's jobs, some people who used to be each other's enemies are now allies, old allies are now enemies, and I need to fit all these pieces of the puzzle together. As a policy I don't do office politics so am not affected, but neverthess it's important to understand the dynamics!
- Friends: One of my best HK friends left the country over my absence. It was planned, I was prepared, but MAN, I miss her. Those lazy brunches, analysing men (unsuccessfully), those nights trying to get her drunk (semi successfully), those discussions where I was trying to help her make a sense out of her life choices (75% successfully). Another of my top 3 friends may have a new job offer back in Europe, which makes me happy for her but sad to think of this place without her. And lastly, my two best single friends are on dates now. Which is great given we have been clearly unsuccessful in establishing any form of communication contact with any members of the opposite sex in the past few months (years?). On the other hand it makes me freak out, what if I am the last single standing in a few weeks? (Selfish I know, but nevertheless scary)
- Dating: The simultaneous advantage and disadvantage of being potentially dating your next door neighbour is that if he has a found a new girlfriend in the space of 4 weeks while you were away you can immediately see it (thanks to the direct view into his living room from your flat). The downside is that it can be disappointing but the upside is that you know where you stand! It amuses me more than anything given we had spoken about twice and it's not like I had time to get any expectations up..

Thank god the social life is still on at full speed, going to a house party on Friday, to see a show on Saturday and sleeping off the shock of all these new changes on Sunday.

Back to square one

2008-07-20T01:31:00.014+08:00

Am back to square one. Or rather, make it "back to Terminal 3 of Heathrow". I am sitting in the exact same spot where I was one year ago (give or take 5 days), in July 2007 when I logged into this blog from the Cathay Pacific Lounge to share my excitement and apprehension (yes, I am a lounge lady, thank you all the business travel airmiles).
One year ago I was leaving my London life behind, with no idea whatsoever in terms of what to expect next. Knowing I would not see my friends for a long time made me a little bit sad that day one year ago (like now), but I was also very excited about the new life that was about to start at the time.
Today am feeling something similar, but today my destination is not unknown, as a matter of fact it's even very familiar. This time I already know who I will hang out with for nights out in town, gossiping, and shooting the breeze in general. I know who I will have long coffee breaks with in the office after even longer and intense days of work. I know what exactly I will spend my days doing in the office. I know what the place I live in looks like (am now itching to take in that view again) rather than being a vague idea in my imagination. That day I did not have anyone waiting for me, whereas now I even had several "When are you back in town? We miss you" messages .
I am much more self confident as well. Overall, I have found a new level of happiness and zen which I was clearly lacking at the time.
Most importantly, that day last year I was very preoccupied with asking myself whether moving to Hong Kong was a mistake or not. Today I definitely know the answer to that (given the little tear-in-the-corner-of-my-eye tone of this post clearly the answer is "of course is not").

I've been away from Hong Kong travelling for a month now, I never imagined I would miss that crazy little place that much. I am looking forward to picking up my life from where I left it in June and continuing the Evie-ness. Starting with a date with my next door neighbour who asked me out a few days before I left. Pretty good start no?

Week End Debrief

2008-06-02T22:22:00.003+08:00

Last night, in the middle of the night, I was lying in my bed feeling happy. For several reasons:

- A storm was raging outside, and it was the reason I had woken up at 5 am. It was impressive, with thunder and lightening (and I even counted the seconds between them and most of the time they were simultaneous, ie the storm was in DA HOUSE). As I have no curtains I could just see it lying from my bed, I even put on my glasses to watch it better.

- I had a feeling of happy exhaustion in my body from a hyper active week end. On the Saturday I had spent the day on a boat where I did a bit of wakeboarding (hence happy muscle exhaustion feeling). And on the Sunday I had woken up super early to go training in the gym. That and the pre-storm heat of the day had totally drained me.

- I had socialised quite a lot over the week end and thoroughly enjoyed it: Friday night drinks with some fellow expats, the boat on Saturday where I met some new faces and reconnected with old ones, the karaoke where I sang like my life depended on it, coffee with my friend J on Sunday with some fun and silly girl talk that could be out of Sex In The City.

- A long week end to look forward to in a few days, heading out to the beach with two friends with whom we are planning to do sod all and bask in the sun.

Yeah, could be worse.

Escape

2008-05-31T00:02:00.003+08:00

I need to come clean about this.

A few days ago I may have downloaded a couple of songs by Enrique Iglesias on my Ipod.

But let me explain. Those songs, especially "Escape", make me smile wherever I am, whatever I am doing, even in the darkest of moods.

(Sometimes I even listen to "Escape" about 9 times before falling asleep). But it will be our little secret, ok?

Time to get wild again

2008-05-30T23:55:00.002+08:00

My NSE fiasco of last week end is not going to stop me, I am getting ready for a new fun and hyperactive week end.
A gilr I met at a friend's party when I arrived in HK 7 months has invited me on a big junk boat trip tomorrow. I will be going with my best buddy C, totally determined to have a fun day out rain-bathing, wake boarding and daring to show the Ass in a swim suit. (tomorrow will be the acid test to see if I am able to strip into swimming gear). There should be a few people I met at that girl's party at the time and should be fun. The concept of junk boat is to rent a huge boat for 10 to 40 people, sail around Hong Kong, swim in the sea, chat, dance, etc etc. Only in HK..
In the evening I shall hit the famous HK karaoke scene. The concept is to rent a room with a bunch of friends and sing and dance like there is no tomorrow. At least I hope there is no tomorrow after that because my singing migh cause the most dreadful thunderstorms (proven effect).
Sunday is Ass shaping day with 2 hours of gym at 10 am, then a short stop in the Torture Room (also known as Bikini Waxing for most people) followed by 1.5 hours of swimming pooling with a group of fun girls.
By Sunday evening I should be ready to pass out on my couch, happy, muscle toned (but not as much as Madonna) and full of excitement thanks to the various encounters of the week end.

Payback time

2008-05-28T21:33:00.010+08:00

Just when I thought my life could not get any more embarassing..

Last night I was peacefully walking down the street to meet my friend C, when I realised the guy walking towards me in my direct path looked familiar. He was firmly staring at the floor. Either because he was studying the colour scheme of concrete floors in the Central area, or because he was trying to avoid me recognising him as it was too late to deviate his path discreetly. Looking closer, it dawned on me: it was Bar Guy! The very guy I had met this Saturday in a bar and who had mysteriously disappeared in the course of the evening after a particularly bad kiss (see Pulling Experiment Number 1 below).

My mind started to go blank and panic as it always does in situations like these where I am counting on it. The issue is, I have recently developed a policy to never avoid people I know, even vaguely, and force myself to say hi. This self inforced policy allows me to automatically develop my sociability skills, I've regretted too many times before my shyness. So my preprogrammed brain sent a message to my mouth, to shout out:
- Hey! Bar Guy!
At that point my eyes widened in horror, what on earth was I doing??
Bar Guy practically slapped his forehead in frustration, after all this effort of staring at the ground and making himself totally invisible, I had noticed him! (The schmuck!)

The conversation went along the lines of:
Bar Guy: Oh hiiiiiiiiiii
Evie: Hiiiiiiiiii
Silence
BG: How are you?
E: Great, thanks. And you?
BG: Fine.
Silence
E: Hope the hangover was not too harsh... I think I may still be a little bit drunk from Saturday.
BG: Har har (forced laugh). Me too.
Silence
E: Hm okay, see ya!
BG: Er yeah, see you later.

Why can't I live in an anonymous city where this sort of thing does NOT keep happening to me?

Pulling experiment number 1: NSE

2008-05-25T19:55:00.012+08:00

Last night I had an NSE: Near Sex Experience. (Not to be confused with NDE, Near Death Experience).

Let us go back in time to the series of events that lead to it.

Having recently decided to open my horizons I had accepted an invitation to a high profile expat dinner that night, where I only knew one person. Scary experience but good for getting-out-of-the-shell motivation. There I met a couple of girls who invited me to join them to go to someone's birthday do in a bar. The bar had a really good vibe, it was heaving with good music and people, the atmosphere was very joyous. Even the barstaff were joining in the fun, drinking and handing out free shots left, right, and centre. And to be honest by that point, after a lovely meal and lots of fine wine we were also in a party mood..

Out of nowhere, I struck up a conversation with one of the dashing young men of the birthday group (a friend of my friends') who was hovering near me staring at my handbag for some reason. And the conversation lasted and lasted and lasted. He was not a great conversationalist but I was*, and given my recent project of understanding men I thought I might as well take advantage of the opportunity to observe this specimen in detail. Besides, given my recent despair of ever meeting men again, I was quite suprised he was talking to me so long. Plus of course he was super hot.

Anyhow, at some point we realised that all the other people in our respective groups had left, and I suggested we change bars. In the new place, while sharing a bottle of wine, we conversed some more, with me doing most of the talking again from I recall.
The very confusing thing about the experiment, is that clearly I generated some kind of interest in him. But on the other side, I could not understand what he was after: it didn't feel like he was trying to find out more about my mesmerising personality. And it was not either that he was trying to get in my pants, as he was not particularly enterprising. In any case I thought I would just wait and see how things would develop, all in the name of scientific experimantation of course (I can be selfless like that sometimes).

After litterally hours, he ended up kissing me. But very briefly, carefully, as if nearly against his will?? It's the first time this has happened to me, because in my limited kissing experience (kissing CV available on request), usually when a situation like this has been working up towards a kiss, the air is static with sexual tension and when the kiss finally happens it is a moment of small sparks. But not in this case, this felt like a half assed kiss.
Anyhow, I was curious to push the experiment further, and suggested we finish the bottle of wine at home (a little forward you may argue but here again I was only investigating in the name of science). So we walked up to my building, and just at the point of going into the lift, he gave me a peck on the cheek, handed me the bottle of wine, and walked out.

WTF? The evening had been so weird until that point that I was not even very shocked, or disappointed. I was more amused, but at the same time puzzled. The only rational explanation is that he was gay. Or more realistically, that he had a girlfriend. And the scary thing is, the last three men I've kissed turned out to have girlfriends. Is that coincidence, or am I a magnet for unavailable men?

In any case it has proven that I need to investigate a lot more because at the moment am still totally cluless in my "Understanding Men" Project.

* Given that I was trying to keep the conversation flowing but stuggling a bit, and given by the end I had consumed quite a large amount of wine, I may have uttered phrases along the lines of:
- "What is your favorite place in HK?" followed by
- "What is your favorite restaurant in HK?" followed by
- "What is your favorite bar in HK?"
- "Do you feel threatened by strong independant women"?
- "Do you want to bring that bottle of wine upstairs so I can show off my incredibly trendy new wine glasses?".
Note to self: avoid all of the above at the next conversational experiment.

Am I on the path of becoming a nun?

2008-05-24T00:30:00.002+08:00

Lately I have been trying to picture myself in a new relationship. But I simply can't. I love being able to have all my time for me, planning my evenings, weeks, months independantly. Sure, when I see couples buying toothbrushes together in supermarkets I sometimes wish I too had someone who would come with me to do that mundane sort of shopping. But then on the other side if I was with someone I would not do half of the stuff I am doing and I would not meet all the people I am meeting now.

Plus it's kind of weird to imagine myself with someone I don't know; I don't have a "type" so if I ever meet someone again, they could be anything: a blond airplane pilot, a red headed struggling artist, a Chinese fashion designer, a French chef?

Hong Kong is a bit of a strange place in terms of opportunities to meet men. The atmosphere is very hedonistic. But I think with some effort nothing is impossible. With some of my single friends we have decided to try to experiment a bit to understand better how it all works because to be honest we are clueless. We are not the types to put on super big cleavage and pull men in bars. So we have decided to try out different ranges of places, test how being more extraverted and talking to people makes any difference, well basically have a bit of men and opening up some horizons. I shall report on how that goes.

In the meantime, back into the palace of singledom for me..

Today is the first day of the rest of your life

2008-05-21T23:37:00.002+08:00

Sentences such as the above are cheesy as heck but there are days, like today, when they are meaningful.
After nearly a week of singing to the tune of internal Blues I've decided to give a kick up the Ass and suck it up. (I am not saying I want to suck up my own derriere, uuugggggg, I mean get on with life).
I have thus recovered my motivation at work, resumed driving my colleagues mad with my jokes, and started going to the gym again. In about 1.5 month's time I will be enjoying the famed London Summer and am planning on looking stunning, absolutely freakin' stunning! And that is not going to happen while sitting on the aforementioned-Ass feeling sorry for myself.

No more muscles

2008-05-20T22:38:00.004+08:00

Some days I feel like I have no more muscles left in my body. I feel very close to just collapsing on the floor, in one small little heap. (Little heap but with a big ass, harhar).
This morning was one of those days. I went to the gym to work out with my personal trainer-terror. Except this morning I did not have any strength whatsoever. Even the presence of Muscle Guy, my cute colleague who often has the misfortune of working out at the same time as me and witnessing my monkeying on the muscle machines, did not give me any extra woooompf. Every exercise I attempted, I would stuggle, unable to lift even the smaller sized weights.

Three quarters of the way through the session I made up an excuse and told the trainer-terror I needed to leave early, and ended up sobbing in the bathroom. The worst of it is that I have no idea why. Well ok there are like a million reasons (Le Poulet, dysfunctional family, job worries) but these reasons have always been there so why the dark clouds today? No idea. Maybe it's the weather, which is as beautiful as my mood today.

Enough of that rubbish

2008-05-19T21:47:00.001+08:00

So in the past two months I've been trying to re-bring to life the impressions of a week end long gone by, which have been harder and harder to capture as time has passed To cut the long drawn out process of trying to tell the tale: I ended up not going to the boat trip, but instead to the bbq - it was lovely, nothing super exciting to report but nevertheless just a simple fun day. The whole week end was a simple fun one, the type that leaves a big smile on your face for a little bit after it's over.
So yes, it was a complicated process to tell that tale. To be fair, I've not been at home a lot lately - been travelling a lot, and not just in plain "boring" places (boring by HK standards) like Thailand. No, I've been to the land of cheeseburgers, Levi's Jeans and Obama Clinton. Other things I have been up to:

- cancelling my Match Dot Com subscription after receiving offers for "3000 dollars for a night of sex". What freaked me out was not so much the offer as the fact that for about one tenth of a second I thought about it (hmm, me, in dire need of a man?). More seriously I could not be bothered with the whole online chatting, at least not having a subscription avoids potential disappointment

- going, coming back and recovering from jet lag to the States. It was an amazing trip, I saw Lil' Sis and my mother, went to a few comedy shows, ate like a gigantic whale..

- sitting on a beach and not daring to get up for the fear of the Ass making an ass out of me (get the pun, get it, get it? hahaha, I may have been away but my sense of humour is intact)

- avoiding getting fired, in an environment of dire global market slowdown. So far so good but I keep remembering "never say never".

- having two friends staying over, the first one came back from a 4 month back packing trip and considering breaking up with her boyfriend. The second one was sleeping on my couch because she had just broken up with her boyfriend. (See a pattern here? Heartbreak High is NOT in Australia contrary to what TV leds you to believe, it's actually in HK, in a high rise apartment building overlooking the city's skyline).

- avoiding Le Poulet like the plague. And I must admit, am not very proud of it, but I never wished him happy birthday last month, which made me a little bit happy. I am saddo drawing pleasure from it.

- listening obsessively to songs. Not a whole bunch of songs one after another, like normal people do, but finding one that I really like at a time and listening to it obessively. One day I'll figure out how to insert them in these pages.

How to have the best week end of your life - Part 2

2008-04-29T12:08:00.004+08:00

Clearly he was totally drunk/stoned/mad as a hatter. I mean, why else would he come and speak to me outright? I am so unused to beautiful strangers talking to me, it sort of freaked me out and when he said "Would you like to join me and my friends?" I chickened out and said "erm yes sure, why don't you find them first and then we find you guys". This was in a crowd of thousands of people - needless to say we never managed to bump into them again - there went my chance to hone my skills at seducing beautiful (drunk) strangers. Note to self: next time a guy asks me to join his friends, say "Yes that would be lovely", not "wooooow I am freaked out by such an appealing proposal but am too shy to say yes".

This said the rest of the party was quite fun, well in not too large doses because there is only so much hard core techno music three rock chicks can take, so we decided to leave relatively early. I was still determined to make the night a success, and instead of going home we decided to head to town, and it turned into one of those nights that has a good vibe: we met some people, got into trendy nightclubs (given our techno-party-in-a-field attire that in itself was a miracle). The highlight of the night was discovering a cool little bar full of Spanish people.. Ever since my encounter with Fernando the Hot Beach Buddy last summer I have been somewhat partial to Spanish men :).

What's even better, the Spanish guys invited us on a boat trip the following day. How much better could the week end get? And then suddenly, it dawned on me: the next day I had already accepted an invitation to a barbeque party of a friend of a friend. The guy is very nice but I know it would not quite be the same, so I was facing a dilemna: either spending the day on a boat with half clothed hot Spanish guys, but having to cope with the guilt of turning down a previously agreed to engagement with someone I appreciate, or going to this bbq which was going to be full of married couples with their kids but at least it would be with a clean conscience. Mind you, I have nothing against married couples with kids but when it comes to making a choice between them and a boat full of half naked Spaniards, you can't blame me for hesitating!

What is a girl to do?

I leave this mini cliff hanger of unbearable suspence but promise I'll be back soon to tell the rest of the tale :-)

How to have the best week end of your life - Part 1

2008-04-04T12:43:00.006+08:00

I think I have somewhat psychic powers. Sounds mad but there are a few instances where I had strong gut feelings which turned out to be proved right. For example, when celebrating the new year 2007 I spent the whole night repeating to people "2007 is the year of change, 2007 is the year of change". Little did I know at the time that my prediction would prove increbibly true, as that year I ended up changing jobs, moving to Asia, breaking up with Le Poulet, and basically there was little that did not change.

A couple of years ago I went out for beers with some colleagues of mine that I did not know very well. It was mid-January. For some reason I told one of them "I don't know why but I think you will have a really good February love-life wise". He looked at me quite flabbergasted and said "I am getting married on St Valentine's". Freaky, heih? (And why am I not ditching my job to start doing this full time and earning millions?).

Anyhow, I had one of those predictions again yesterday. I went to see a gig with DJ Tiesto (world-famous-most-known-DJ-in-the-world). It was a bit of rave actually, as he was mixing in the middle of a field somewhere out of town, playing a mix of techno-trance music. Not my usual scene and the night was going to be a bit of a long shot, given my friends and I like to dance but to techno music only in small doses.

Before the party I had my revelation: "Tonight is going to be either a totally rubbish night, or an absolutely fabulous one. But not an average so-so one". The start of the night seemed to point toward the former option. We took a shuttle bus for what seemed forever and were soon standing in the middle of the field. The music was quite hard core techno, and we stood there in the rain watching the crowd heaving to the music. There was an incredible energy in that crowd, it made me want to smile - and I was not pill popping! Many people looked like they were though, we spotted quite a few who looked a bit like zombies. Anyhow we decided to hit the bar for a drink, maybe that would help to get into the atmosphere, but the bar only sold soft drinks and water! We started laughing, seeing the funny side of being stuck in a field, in pouring rain, listening to techno music we could not get into, watching people who were either born with techno in their blood and dancing naturally, or totally wasted on alcohol and drugs, when we could not even buy ourselves a beer!

However, standing there, suddenly I flet my feet tapping to the music. I let myself dance a bit, and looked around at my friends who looked a bit more enthusiastic about the music as well. We were getting into it! At that point I thought maybe the night was not going to be such a failure after all. And then I felt someone coming danse closer to me on my right, turned around, and was greeted by a beautiful smile from a handsome stranger. I smiled back.

To be continued.

Wrinkles

2008-03-24T20:46:00.002+08:00

The other day I found a grey hair. Like any normal human being it made me freak out a bit, as it was throwing into my face, I mean hair, the fact that I was not going to be a young thing forever. Unlike many girls nearing their thirties it does not make me really worry. Perhaps because my mother and grandmother have both aged very well. Perhaps because I was never obsessed by my looks (except the size of The Ass but that is independant from me as it has an identity of its own).
All these past years I have been in Serious Relationships and never worried about by Hook Up potential. I was always confident that the guys I was with liked me for me, not only my youthful looks.
Now that I am free and single again, of course I do feel looks will play a certain part in my future if I want to meet someone again, but then these days meeting someone is not so much of a priority. At the end of the day, if I end up living alone and Eaten By Alsacians (as Bridget Jones would put it), so be it. I have seen many women worry about ageing because:
Good Looks = Attracting Men = Happiness
Hence, once they age they become paranoid they lose their men and then they give into desperate measures like surgery. I would not want to fall into that trap. The other day one of my colleagues, who is a stunning Hong Kong beauty told me that she caught her image in the elevator mirror one day when she was laughing and realised laughing made her face wrinkled. So she was scared of laughing (!).

But there is one thing that is starting to bother me about time taking its toll on my body - it is not the face wrinkles (don't really have any except my worry wrinkle accross the forehead but I've had it since I was 12), not sagging boobs (they are too small to be subject to much law of gravity), or grey hairs (I pulled out the one I had). That one thing is: Under-arm Wrinkles! They appear just at the top of my arm pits where the skin folds when I have my arms by my side and I am pretty sure they were not here a few years ago.
Damn you Cruel Mother Nature!!

In Love

2008-03-03T23:55:00.004+08:00

Ok ok ok. Ok. The title of the post is totally misleading. I am not in love at all (unless you have seen some pigs flying around the IFC2 tower lately?). But last week I went for drinks with my friend C, and she took me to one of those little bars in Wo On Lane, in the LKF area. The drinks were much needed after a very tough week for me, and a very stressful reunion with ex boyfriend for her. The moment the bartender guy spoke to us asking the wonderful words "what would you like to drink?" (I have heard those words before but they never sounded so beautiful) I was smitten.
Then I looked up and started to drown in the mysterious dark blue pool of his eyes. And then he smiled. At that point I think I peed a bit in my pants from the joy.

Er where was I? Ah yes, so I recommend this cosy little bar with rather, hum, nice staff. Initially I was surprised by the fact a male person is so mesmerising to me. But then I realised the explanation: the bar is listed in the Gay-Friendly Bars of HK. That was the only possible explanation: the first guy who actually touches me within my soul for the first time in centuries is most probably surely gay. Great. Stuff.