Shuba's Blog

Guests - loss and anger

2008-09-15T12:51:00.006+01:00

Being an ex-psychologist has some advantages - but, boy, do my old habits put me in some real tricky situations! Ordinarily, I wouldn't write about an issue that is not directly related to this accommodation business but a pattern that I have experienced, observed and been a part of is quite important for fellow B&B providers to be aware of.

All hoteliers and B&B providers have their fair share of rants from guests and all of us acknowledge that some anger is justified in some situations. i.e. dirty rooms, toilets, bad food etc. But some other rants are seriously disproportionate and way out of line. It is this disproportionate anger that interests me. What is it that makes a guest act in vicious and often personally insulting ways in situations that don't really warrant such a reaction? Here are some thoughts.

1. Anger from Grief/Loss:

Guests who are recovering from loss of some kind are those who fly off the handle at the smallest glitch or problem. I have added the link of the Kubler Ross stages for anyone who is interested in this process.

Recently, we had the misfortune of having a young (very immature) lady whose boyfriend had forfeited a seaview room for this smaller and cheaper one. She went to her room but wanted to leave straightaway because the room was too small and without views. ( room 6 on our website photos). She did not like it. She was distressed, crying, was passively aggressive, nasty and crazily personal to us - not to her boyfriend who had knowingly chosen the room. All this drama took place after staying in the room for 5 minutes.

I thought about this a while trying to understand the motive for such an outburst. Sure enough, the couple were back the next day demanding a refund of the deposit. The lady then mentioned a funeral she had attended the previous day and the reason she came to the IOW. Kerching!!! Penny dropped!!

Here was a young woman, who hadn't come to terms with her loss, her pain nor could she express her anger at her boyfriend who had chosen the room. She needed someone else to blame. The anger and the hate that spewed out was disproportionate. Really amazing. My reaction was mixed - torn between empathizing with her loss and retorting back at her nasty and personal ill-placed comments. But there you are. Displaced anger.

2. Expectations:

When we rent villas abroad, we go by the photos and guest comments. On some occasions we have had to modify our expectations on arrival as the pictures have not represented the product. We have taught ourselves to adjust and use realistic markers if we are disappointed. Check -Are all the facilities advertised available? Is the place clean ? Is it safe? Is the food as it is described ? At the end, a holiday is what one makes of it, as long as the basic facilities are in place. The frills and romantic notions created by our own tendency to embellish should be seen for what it is. Our perceptions.

I know that some guests struggle to reconfigure their mindsets. Instead they get angry. Anger perhaps at themselves for having created such a glossy picture of a product. Of course they cannot hold themselves responsible as this would cause way too much internal dissonance. So blame the providers- the natural targets.

Perceptions of people are not in our hands but what we do know is that we have excellent staff, spotless accommodation (someone said it was too clean), artistic decor, great views and good quality food. Yes, it is an old building. We are sure that nothing is false on our website, all pictures are real and nothing is embellished.

Metrics to compare accommodation

2008-05-03T15:09:00.003+01:00

While various accommodation grading bodies make an effort to provide some markers for tourists against which to compare services, I recently experienced a stay which brought home quite a few inaccuracies.

When in London, we often stay at friends homes but on this occasion, all four of us decided to find a good hotel to stay in. We settled on a high end hotel in Central London- a hotel that boasted links all over the world. Not 5 star but 4 star with around 180 rooms and executive suites. Pleased to be looked after for a change, we entered a room which was the size of our standard double room. This was supposed to be a family room. Half the size of our family room !

No problem! We had a TV, i double bed and a sofa-cum bed and bathroom- but hello.... The bath is in a separate room from the lavatory. The lavatory with a commode only, is in a separate room. NO HAND BASIN IN THIS ROOM. How odd and old fashioned I think. Kids giggle at this strange split in the wash room facilities.

Ok, we find 2 cups ( for 4 of us) 1 HOT CHOCOLATE, 1 MILK. Mmm- I try not to make a big thing of this. I check in the shower room and find 1 set of towels. Ok- I call reception and have this rectified.

Later that evening we open the sofa cum bed for the girls. My youngest daughter tucks herself in but sinks to the ground. She giggles saying that she is stuck. I rushed around to pull her out and find that the middle of the bed had collapsed. Mark and I search around the bed to see if a leg had broken- but all seemed fine. On lifting the mattress up we find that most of the slats in the bed frame had split away from the frame and had just been positioned together - not glued- but just laid. It was impossible to put back together or fix it in an immovable lock.

We called Reception again. In walked a matronly woman and spoke with a strong eastern european accent. Extremely rude- not brusque- we can handle brusque- she insisted, without looking, that the bed was fine. After we showed her the offending bed, she placed the slats loosely, put the mattress back again and said " It is Ok, the bed! Dont move too much, it will be fine. No problem, you can sleep there".

Horrified, my tolerance slipped. This was unacceptable. Mark and I found ourselves thinking of our own reaction if this had happened in BM. We would have given up our own bed to make amends. No! the lady seemed to think that the broken bed was a luxury and we had no right to ask her to fix it.

An assertive phone call later, we were moved to another room. And then we went through the same rigmarole of asking for more cups, tea, hot chocolate and milk. We settled with 2 sets of towels - we decided it was easier to share than to call reception again.

In the morning- we found pre-cooked breakfast - all of which were mass-catered food. Not anything like the local farm produce we serve or even the individually cooked poached/ scrambled eggs. No soya milk or yoghurts.

What I am demonstrating is the impossible task of comparing accommodation. Comparing dissimilar accommodation is virtually impossible as the parameters and criteria for comparison are quite different.( unless you a whiz statistician). There are economies of scale involved in larger hotels where margins are made through their mass catering strategies. The smaller GA providers may charge similar tariffs as the larger hotels but the perk is in the personalized, individual service and cooked to order locally sourced food !

The next time you compare one accommodation provider with another please do so with care as you have to discipline yourself into understanding the differences and similarities if any>

Newchurch Ladies Choir

2008-04-10T21:14:00.005+01:00

Why am I writing about Newchurch Ladies choir ? Moved- thats what I am. On the island, few interactions I have, can be classified as such. Landscape, sunset the sea perhaps but people- Nah!! Very few and far between.

It so happened that my 13 year old daughter's ( Dhyana) prowess in playing the recorder spread around a bit on the island. So an excited teacher called me to ask if Dhyana would play. Daughter got quite giddy with the knowledge that she was actually scouted and asked to play a solo- she still thinks there were talent scouts present. Poor girl, I won't break her bubble.

So, on Tuesday 8th April we trundled to this small village in the middle of nowhere. The only church in the village, beautiful and old filled with history and with all the pew chairs occupied by benevolent looking folk. An over full church it was- brimming with energy and bonhomie. Average age- 60.

Dhyana's teacher nudged me and whispered, "we are youngest here"! Never mind I thought. The folk there seemed to have more energy than I did.

The evening started with the wonderful Newchurch Ladies Choir. Conducted by the 85 year old amazing woman.... must find her name. The choir members were full of energy and enthusiasm even though some seemed so physically feeble that they sat on chairs. Led by the vibrant conductor the evening was harmony.

So what was so moving? Listening to women in obvious states of physical discomfort come together with such joy and harmony was an experience in fortitude. Smiling, embracing life with all its hiccups and showing such camaraderie in a world so full of hostilities was moving. The history of the church, the general ambience ensconced us in a secure and comforting space. Need I say more. I loved being there!!

Downsizing.

2008-02-26T08:08:00.005Z

Suitably downsized to match our emerging needs, we have closed the restaurant choosing to operate under specific conditions. Our Sous Chef- sought greener pastures and a higher salary that can only be provided by larger hotels. We train new staff and they move on bigger establishments. We should seek training status I think!!! l The Home Office on the other hand will only allow for Chefs to be brought in at salaries of £25,000 or more per annum.

This kind of salary would be justified for a restaurant on the high street. But for a seasonal restaurant, in a slumbering village, with little foot fall is not financially viable.

As for staff - we in UK, take a lot for granted. We have staff from Slovakia who think that serving crusts of toasts is absolutely fine; serving cakes baked for their own personal use when we have no more desserts is perfectly reasonable; being straight and to the point it is a long process to teach them how to speak with frills.

All the above, for me, is just life's streaming experience.

Adaptation

2008-02-10T14:44:00.003Z

Link to Frank Gehry- an adaptive architect.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Gehry

No one can say that we are inflexible. The number of debilitating events, that have presented themselves to us, over the past 5 years could see a person down or even direct them towards to the nearest island Priory. Not us. Our hair turns grayer, more facial lines appear, lots of somatic illnesses beseige us, but we flip over, shake the dismaying tides and bounce right back under a new guise.

If all of this sounds gobbledegook, it is only a precursive introduction to the change we have had to make to our business. The Tiffin Room, my third born, grew out of necessity. It is this very necessity that has prompted me to modify this venture temporarily.

A daughter diagnosed with several medical conditions, to me means one thing. I need to tip the balance towards being a mother. My daughter needs me now. She needs my support in learning the new habits required to manage her condition. Till she can do it on her own.

So out goes The Tiffin Room, for now. A change from a restaurant that was doing extremely well to a pared down version, for this year is what I can manage. All I can do is apologise to everyone with the hope that you will understand.

Changing bodies- morphing business

2008-01-06T16:35:00.000Z

What a year it has been. A year of struggle, pain, joy and strife.

But the dominant feeling for all of us is one of being tired- burnt out. Perhaps it was our physical illnesses that brought us to a standstill. My in- laws, Mark and I - down for weeks with conditions that we now have to be very careful of. My beautiful youngest daughter diagnosed with an endocrinal disorder- that requires constant monitoring. How on earth would we manage this? With 24/7 work that is pretty relentless.

Perhaps it is the acknowledgment of the largeness of the task we have undertaken - just renovating the building alone makes us baulk now.

Then there is recruitment- the old staff want to start a family and move on to bigger things. The last time I applied to the Home Office for a South Indian Cook - I was unsuccessful. Will I find someone suitable now before the season starts to help and take the load off me? I don't know !

This means that the business next year will have to be modified to suit our changing physical and economic situations. If anyone does read this- please do post some suggestions.

My letter to Mr Clive Aslet , The Times

2007-08-16T16:42:00.000+01:00

I sent the response below to The Times, after Mr Aslets review. I am not sure if they published it. But here it is.

"Thank you so much for your kind words. Given that before 2004 I had not owned/managed a restaurant or been a chef, your accolade is warming. I am also humbled by your confidence in making such a public statement about my skills.

As for the room, etc. my blog, linked from our website, discusses this in detail. A bit harsh though, given that you stayed one night and in one room you weren't even sure you wanted a single or double and only confirmed last minute. Hence you got the last room in the house! You could have asked to see some of the other rooms too!

However, if a kindly investor wishes to bank on my potential as a “Michelin Star” Chef ;-) we could spruce the hotel rooms with swanky showers, balconies, etc., we are just an impecunious family trying to eke out a living and have few protagonists in the press - apart from Paddy Burt."

Clive Aslets comments in The Times- 28 July 2007- The room and service

2007-08-03T19:14:00.000+01:00

Now that I have filled in appreciating his positive comments about my food, here is a quick look behind the scenes at his comment on rooms and service.

Mr Aslet "went to bed happy. I woke up thirsty. Where was a bottle of water? Not to be found". Of course not. He didn't buy one, did he? Hey, for £42 pppn (the room he was in) do you honestly expect free bottled water as well ? Just go down to some of the hotels charging as much as we do and you won't even find the "excellent coffee" that you had here. An eg: Our owners who ran this as a 3 star Hotel in 2003 had signs in the kitchen that said "For Breakfast staff" "Turn on the coffee machine. Reheat coffee from previous evening". That would be have been great eh ?

Moreover, if you pop by into the many small hotels near us, you will find teeny sausages, one sliver of bacon, a few bits of mushroom - all from a wholesale supplier. Do you think you would even find a breakfast like ours using local farm produce with mushrooms griddled to perfection around here. If you do, please let me know.

Mr Aslet says - "bedrooms that don’t betray the considerable investment that the owners have made in the hotel since buying it four years ago".
Of course not. Have you read my blog? and about the conditionof the hotel? Do you know that the ceiling dropped in our Coach House and had to be rebuilt quickly so we could live "literally" with a roof above our heads? This comment is particularly surprising coming from you as you understand the economies of old buildings. Surely, you would know that even spending a couple of hundred thousand pounds can disappear into the black hole with nothing to show for it in a building like ours. (As it happened to us). Now we are at a stage when we can spruce the hotel up. But we are rung dry - spent.

You know, what is particularly humiliating, is to watch and listen to criticism about rooms with my hands tied back unable to do anything. I know that some of the rooms are not as I want them to be, but I am powerless and penniless to change it. My vision is grand, with furniture made by the craftsmen of Channapatna in Mysore, with silks and cotton bedding in every room and elegant bathrooms with a touch of Southern India, soaps and oils made from sandalwood. Helpless, powerless, penniless, sad - that is my response everytime we get hauled up for the rooms.

On the funnier side - Mr Aslet said "For example, I had to get out of bed to switch on the light". I sent this article to my wonderful creative Parisien artist friend - Nicolas Taffin (http://www.polylogue.com) Here is his response-

"Beautiful (about the Michelin bit) !

But what? he had to get out of bed to switch on the light ???
Poor man.

Anyway, I'm a bit anxious about something.
Will we have to get out of bed to switch the light ? :-)

I hope Mark will give us a password to switch the light from the bed
using a terminal command across Wi-fi."

A bit of perspective in life is invigorating. Don't you think?

My other friend on IOW said " Good God! Did the man wet himself at night? He had to "get out of bed" to use the toilet. Poor man!! "

Then Mr Aslet writes - "Despite a confirmed reservation, I wasn’t expected when I arrived".
Naughty, naughty. You were expected. We had all your emails. The registration book was not handy and my memory gave way. Usually, I remember every one due to arrive. But then, lets jog your memory about your part of the action-

Your booking - you sent an email with confusing information about your arrival to my husband!! - not to the hotel website! How did you manage to do that? Then you were unsure of the room - requested a single then changed to a double room and then to a single occupancy of a double room - all for one night. You requested a standard double room and not a premier or sea view room for “one night only.” If you had you would have seen a room with a view rather than ones that face the cliffs.

Hey, this is not a problem, we are all human and make mistakes, just as you wrote Bonchurch and not Bonchurch Manor in your article!!

As my comments on "The Times" site says, if I had the money, this would look a million times better. Therein lies the challenge.

The Times - Clive Aslet says-Give Star in Michelin Guide for us.

2007-08-02T16:55:00.001+01:00

"If the Michelin Guide cared about proper food, rather than the degree of starch in the napkins, it would give Bonchurch Manor a star", says Mr Aslet in the Saturday Times, July 28th 2007.

What an accolade !! I am stunned. To say this publicly as well ! Wowee! How often is Indian food recognised as being complex and delicate enough to warrant such grades. Usually,this food conjures up slapped on "curry type" cheap gunk. God forbid if you charge "Western Food" prices for dishes that are delicious !! In such a public climate, I am absolutely honored by Mr Aslets comments. For a white person to make this statement is bold and radical.

If you look at some of the food blogs listed on my Tiffin Room blog you can find the most amazing cooks and recipes. They are ordinary people yet their cuisine is heavenly. And any way should'nt the Michelin Grading be more inclusive- taking into its fold the vast spectrum of people and food from around the world?

Mr Aslet says "I got back to a superb breakfast, made from local, free-range produce. The coffee was excellent". True, True. The experimentation - the errors, the fine toning of the ingredients have resulted in a breakfast that we think is the best. Would you find a breakfast cooked only with olive oil and tomatoes sprinkled with fresh basil in a place which provides accommodation in such a splendid location at £42 pppn !!

Do you know that in 2004, when we were experimenting with presentation, taste and variety, we offered a selection of breads- cheese, pumpkin, aniseed, fruit, plain etc. And guess what. Perhaps 2 people asked for this bread. Everyone wanted the synthetic plain white or brown toast. And the coffee- we had a couple who wanted to try every type of coffee we had on our menu. Java, Italian, Blue mountain. Would any other Guest Accomodation provider have allowed this ? We think not.

Hotels, Guest Houses, Guest Accomodation- English Tourist Councils Complicated classifications

2007-04-01T18:05:00.000+01:00

I am tired of the myriad changes blighted on us by the the English Tourist Council (or is it board?)- or Visit England or is it Visit Britain! First ETC breaks into Visit Britain then they add Enjoy England. Futhermore grading of establishments are done by an indepemdent body. Then there are Regional Tourist Boards and National boards. By the time I understood the duties and responsibilities of these various bodies, something else that was new emerged. What a mess.

The ETC has decided that they are going to reclassify all establishments that offer bed and board. We can now no longer call ourselves a hotel, even if we consider ourselves a small hotel, because we don't 1) offer dining facilities seven days a week 2) we don't have 24 hour reception cover 3) the front door is not open 24 hours a day and so on. But we are not a B&B either. We are supposedly "Guest Accommodation".

Do the general public know what this means? When I google places to stay I look for small hotels or B&B- not Guest Accommodation. If we remove "hotel" from our title our Google rank, which is of primary importance in marketing, plummets.

All our signs have to be changed and all our lefalets etc.

But what about guests? How do we change the mindsets of people for who B&B conjures an image quite different from what we are? Or how do we explain to guests that we provide " Guest Accommodation? It is not a Hotel nor is it a B&B? Are you confused? So am I.

children and pets

2007-02-21T12:48:00.001Z

Children: We hear that quite a few small hotels do not take children below 14. How convenient. No mess, no silence breaking shrieks, no damage. It is odd that guests seem to forget or ignore the human hours it requires to tidy up after children and pets. Sofas are jumped on in view of parents benevolent glare, latches rattled and sometimes twisted off, flowers strewn everywhere. Not all kids behave in this manner. Some are truly angelic.

While we do appreciate that older people who visit the island for a break prefer to stay away from screaming kids ( we loose custom every which way), in the same vein the grading body ie Visit Britain http://www.qualityintourism.com/asp/main.asp assess all Guest Accomodation in one category. They grade establishments, irrespective of the fact that some types of Guest Accomodation require more maintenance ( ie family friendlyor pet friendly ones) and therefore need to be assessed within a separate category. There are no allowances made for the extra work involved in cleaning and repair in establishments that take children and pets. We say that this grossly unfair. Is there any way to lobby the government. NO !! I havent found a way yet.

what people dont know- the inside story

2007-02-21T10:48:00.000Z

I have heard of and have had a few guests who are partciular about every crease in the sheets, every rain drop on the glass etc. While reasonable suggestions are always welcome, some seriously take the m....

First of all, the Manor is a South South East facing building, open to the elements of the channel. There are no obstructions to the sometimes 30 mph winds that hit and rattle the southern part of our building. So, not only do we have salty water droplets to contend with on a daily basis but burnt plants that look pretty grim in the garden. Taking just the water droplets, it would take approximately 3-4 hours "daily" for a window cleaner to clean the windows.

Then, the woodwork, every exposed bit requires at least a coat of water proof paint every year- a task made doubly difficult by our previous owners who had not had any maintenance done whatsoever. The fire escape was so rusty we thought it best to replace them.

Speaking of PREVIOUS OWNER- would you believe that they stored not only bits of bath soaps, left over by guests, in a jar ( about 300) and used toilet brushes ( around 20 of them) in a large bin bag. We hear that they thought it may be of some use in the future. Yeuw !

I hope that this blog informs guests of the hours, money it takes to run and maintain a business such as this and hopefully will provide a better understanding of the costs and therefore tariffs.

ETC food grades

2006-11-19T15:36:00.000Z

Usually, the ETC ( English Tourist Council) Quality Assurance guys fill me with boredom. The few I had met in the past spoke of
"adding more cushions, adding pebbles in the fireplace, making our menus more flowery" all of which are anathema to Mark and I ( I believe to our children as well). But last month I met a pair of decent gentlemen.

One of them was a global traveller and I thought quite liberal. One of the Inspectors had sought to invite this fellow inspector who had lived in Singapore and travelled to other South Asian Countries, to assess the food. Of course, I was told this after the inspection. Usually when food critics make comments on South Indian food they are either ill equipped to do so or are just ignorant and just assume that a blanket perspective is perfectly adequate.

This man- he understood the food. That was it. I didnt have to explain. What a great relief. The ETC had got it right this time. I even had a debate about style and about how every place was unique. It was grand.

And what did they have to say. " The food was outstanding - 100% "Exceptional Quality".This accolade I have been told, has been awarded to only five other establishments on the island. Grand. I felt like a puffed up Red Robin.

However, sadly, the assessor was not favourable to our style- our candles and straight talk, our lack of flowery language and effusive mannersims did not bode well for us. The assessor also failed to verify a host of things such as " Environmental Awareness" despite being awarded a Gold Award by the Green Island Scheme. So, instead of acheiving the highest overall grade we lost out on the lack of frills.

But, we are one of the few on the island to receive 100% on the category of "food". That is what I shall celebrate.

what a scam

2006-11-19T15:25:00.000Z

I have just unearthed a strange flimflam that seems to be practised in small hotels, B&B's on the island. I am not sure it is universal around UK, but out here it seems rampant.Quite similar to the sign that often says " No Vacancy". But here is the thing.

If you are closed for the season or for a particular period of time, the general public notice is "Fully Booked". HUH? But we know that the owners and staff are away on a holiday - so how can they be fully booked ? Foxy!! I am not sure that all accomodation providers do this sort of thing. But I have found some wily ones who give the public an impression that they are fully booked, rather than " we are sunning ourselves in Hawaii or shopping in Paris, suckers"!

The inside story. I have also seen many accomodation providers in the local cash and carry loading on the most hideous OJ (unbranded) or some other vile looking products but who also advertise serving fresh juice in their marketing bumpf. A Ha !! And then load on cheap bacon from Booker (you may wonder what we buy from Booker. Mostly toilet rolls, washing up stuff, napkins, candles). All these little secrets.

Which reminds me of the experience of one of our previous guests at another hotel. The owner had a swish Porsche convertible but hey, guests had to use "Single Ply" toilet rolls !

This accomodation business is cut throat and vicious- at least on the island ( or perhaps even on this side of the island) and those that do survive have to either develop a rhino skin or sink fast. Where do I sit in all this ? Jury's out on that one.

Response to a Guardian article about us

2006-10-17T11:12:00.000+01:00

Although this journalist had very positive comments to make about my cuisine, the mechanistic way in which such a young writer broke down a very complex business to fit her own notion of style and chic was disturbing.

I sent the following comment to the Guardian which they have not published. Although people who will read this blog comprise a minuscule proportion of the Guardian readership, my blog is my platform to respond to views that are one sided. My belief is to engage and dialogue about peoples experience here, without which communciation could become skewed.

Reference: Article on Bonchurch Manor- September 9th 2006 by Isabel Choat

My comments:
We seldom accept travel journalists to our establishment but made an exception on this occasion, assuming that your journalist would reflect the values of the newspaper - of being liberal, free thinking and socially aware.

You sent an inexperienced journalist who seemed to be a mere puppy in the realm of understanding the underlying components of a global business aimed at families. Her rigid and populist thinking (suited to the formulaic rags such as Hello and Tatler) was apparent in her comment on "Style". She naively presents “style” and “chic” as fixed concepts, having some kind of a recognised formula and as a prescriptive solution precluding individuality or uniqueness. Strange that you should send a journalist with such views to an establishment that is precisely the opposite - quirky and individual.

She also stated that I appeared “shell shocked”, a perceptual judgement she made after conversing with me for 5 minutes. My breadth of life experience, fortunately, renders me unable to be shocked by small life changes, a perspective she would have gained if she was more mature or indeed had the humility to be open-minded. That she could not see beyond the superficial is to be expected from someone so young and with so much ascribed power. She should perhaps stick to commenting on youthful and trendy experiences rather than on family oriented businesses.

Owner and Chef

Eating Out

2006-09-02T12:43:00.000+01:00

Now that the Slovaks are here, I have a little more time for myself and my family.

About eating out on the Island. That is an experience truly not worth having!! This is no gastronomic haven but a gourmands idea of hell. Over the past 3 years we have often ventured out with the possibility of leisurely eating out with family, as we did in London. The last and the most horrific experience we had, compelled me to write. We visited a well known 'Inn' who has many hundreds of covers a day and serves "fresh food". Well, we chose "Gourmet Burger" and "Salmon Pavarotti". We thought that no one could go wrong with simple food like this.The sauce,supposedly white sauce,for the fish which in its simplicty is divine was some glutinous, chemical infused mess. The burger promising to be gourmet with roquette, tomato and cheese had 3 leaves, no tomato and a slice of processed cheese. Prices - £8.95 for the burger and £12.50 for the sliver of Salmon in chemical mess!

All of us felt ill and had the worst migraine of our lives. All of us!! Proof that the food had any number of E's or other mutant chemicals in it.

We have visited many restaurants around the island. Italian, Mediterranean, English, French Cafes, Inns serving food, a chain restaurant (serving Thai food- that tasted and looked like filth and we waited 45 minutes for our main course), a couple of Asian restaurants and more food serving Inns. The best (of the lot) and freshest food we had was at Pizza Express. With all the other places, we had severe food reactions, the food was processed, over priced or just very inconsistent. ( Strange that one local food critic wrote that a place selling Pizzas served freshly cooked Pizza- ie the dough was fresh. We had eaten in this very place on innumerous occasions and we are serious Pizza dough makers- this definitely was Frozen Pizza base.)

When people eat here, they are amazed at the delicacy of the flavours. ( read guest book) Of course, these are the discerning ones. We have had some serious ignoramuses who have asked us why the food is not spicy - like the food they were served in the "Midlands", and claiming that they knew all about South Indian food and what we served was not South Indian, because they came from the " Midlands" and they knew better! Then they asked for Naan or Mango Chutney!!! ( believe me- I was asked out of the kitchen by these people who vehemently argued with me that the food I was cooking was not South Indian )

We are sometimes dismissed as being too expensive. We, who paste our spices everyday, who don't even add soda or vinegar as it is artificial and serve the freshest and most generous portions of salad do not warrant comments like that. Even the Chinese takeaway is as expensive as we are and dont forget the MSG they add! I wonder if our bodies are so acclimatised to chemical infusions through food that palates cannot even recognise fresh quality food when they taste it.

So for all our experimentation with island eateries, sadly, for now we found The Pizza Express and Thorntons - the only places that fulfilled our desire for fairly fresh food and good coffee, with at least some real flavour to it. I certainly hope that the island fosters and encourages restaurants that serve better quality food than what exists at the moment.

village life

2006-06-30T15:17:00.000+01:00

Country living is an experiential genre of its own. It requires a unique mindset and perhaps attitude. I have my own perspective, as an Indian business owner, living and working in a conservative part of UK.

I was born in Bangalore, a southern Indian metropolis, currently booming in every way, in a household that eschewed liberalism, with values that struggled between belonging to a society with a strong Hindu ethic ( both my parents were aethists !! imagine the conflicts!!) and constant questioning scientific debates. As a teenager, I browsed through Ivan Illich, Isaac Asimov, Karl Marx and Ambedkar. Richard Dawkins was a hero when I was in my teens.

When I left Bangalore in 1989, the population was around 4 million and growing. My transition, as far as urban movements go, was a natural progression to a larger urban space - London. The stimulation of senses (apart from the auditory), constant compulsion from extraneous message blasters to attend to their enveloping demands, the need for movement, the drive to compete and excel were all similar. Cultural differences were shocking and initially very distressing and worrying. But, the momentum and the pulse that is the city fired and inspired me.

The countryside I thought would shock me culturally but I guessed that I would be compensated by the natural beauty and the space. And I was. Everytime, in low moments, walking along the seafront and experiencing the visual perspective of life. The never ending motion of the sea somehow, shifted my focus, changed perpective and altered how I perceived life.The vastness of the sea washed my thoughts from my personal sphere and sat them on a global platform. Very therapeutic.

However, what I have found absent, is something far more fundamental. Warmth and humaneness. I envisaged a community that was close, maybe initially hostile but eventually welcoming, down to earth and hospitable. What I have found is a parochial snobbery, an inability to accept difference, a fundamental lack of respect for individuals different and an almost callous remoteness fuelled by some unknown sense of self importance. I found a community built around religious institution, where its membership seemed paramount to inclusion. As my beliefs are agnostic, such an affinity does not sit very well in my world.

On the other end, are the street level bureaucrats, so similar to those in India- cab companies, builders, plumbers, electricians - so needy of power - so willing to alienate the different.

There is no anonymity here. "Chinese whispers" are rampant. The more threatening one is to the immediate state of the society (just by being who you are), the more vicious are the whispers. This experience is shared by quite a few radical thinkers here, witchhunted because 'you dare to tell us what to do", "because you challenge status quo and dare to be honest".

Amidst natural beauty is a bubbling angst filled society. There are some wonderful people - the reason we are still here. The property market is exploding and there is a proliferation of new apartments everywhere. Will the island remain an old fashioned fabric of soicety or will the influx of modern thinker push it forward to a global platform. My guess is that it will take a good couple of decades by which time the whole world will have moved on. But it makes for interesting social dynamics to observe.

slovaks are here

2006-05-15T19:44:00.000+01:00

Tired of battling with indeginous staff who dont seem to have the remotest idea of work, discpline, professionalism- we decided last year to look at the Central Europeans. First there was the Polish entourage- hardworking, disciplined- but so full of dogma and such internalised paternalism that our liberal attitudes faced a whacking challenge.They were too Black & White whereas we had several distinct shades of grey. They required very clear formal and tight structure for anything they did and we had a free flowing, organic form for in-house staff. Whatever it was, it was difficult for us to gell.

So for now have a team of Slovaks. Professional, work as hard as we do, are caring and seem to carry a lot less baggage.

I hear, through the local grapevine, that several Hotels, Inns and Pubs have international staff. How wonderful, I think, to have small gobal communities everywhere. The big cities have this already but the English Countryside is now experiencing this wonderful "melting pot". About time., I think.

I wonder about the impact of this on English culture and society, as surely most of those who migrate from Europe may stay here. I wonder about their understanding of blackness within society and ponder about the work done for decades by the people of Britain to understand discrimination and black issues. I wonder how this influx of peoples who have never been exposed to the struggles of black culture or colonialism would impact on British people. The issues are so complex, experiences so diverse. A few of the Slovaks who are here have never spoken to black or Asian people before!!!

But for now, we are comfortable with the staff we have. They have integrity, humour and work like F.... So it is Slovakians, for now.

renovating burnout

2006-05-15T18:44:00.000+01:00

Step by step, we said. Unhurriedly, we thought. But the gallop of demands from guests spurred us into speed renovation. Without a breath - we moved on from plumbing, painting, wood work, boxing, ceilings, roof, interior to rooms.

The chaos, the choosing of colours, fabric, uphoslstery was a long process. The odd quip from my family "she is not working, just looking at websites". Yes, but which ones ? I poured through websites of Riba, Fired earth, Dulux Heritage, Interior design books, historical books - hoping to glean some idea of colours. I was not content with a colour scheme from the past so I chose a new look- that was a fusion of Indian and English. The paints are RIBA and all the heritage colours highlight the beauty of the architecture. It is elegant and colourful. We took some surprised guests who had stayed in some of the rooms before the renovation. Hah. Their gasps of awe were satisfying.

Then the Cottage - we broke down walls - built a self sufficient house for us - away from the frenetic pace of the hotel.
The geographical separation matters- oh, yes. If not the public would become private and vice versa. A nightmare in hell!!
We often wonder how people who manage B&B's survive. The lack of privacy - no "usness''. To us this is a principle part of our unity - what makes us one family, it is the space that enables us to relax, fight, argue, love, teach and to be.

The chaos from disrupting living accomodation is hell. I feel fragmented, all the bits of myself in boxes.Dust everywhere, fine and thin- covering the silks, towels, sliding inside the cracks of the wardrobes- all soft toys clammy with dust and moisture. And it is the beginning of the tourist season, at the same time.

In the midst of the chaos are guests who enrgise us. Their insight, their appreciation, their understanding of our values, the reasons for doing what we do, their constant motivation- keeps us afloat. If it were not for these wonderful people who stay with us, full of appreciation for the standards we set, we would have seen a burn out.

varied visitors, strange staff

2006-03-12T16:30:00.000Z

Let me put it this way. An Indian woman running an English B&B/small hotel. Forget John Cleese and Manuel - it is more like "Goodness Gracious Me" crossed with Peter Sellers's-"The Party" on the Isle of Wight.

In between supporting the children emotionally and virtually running the hotel and restaurant single handedly, life as an Indian Hotelier certainly is not a piece of Barfi. More so, being Indian,(and being a woman who can write- a double whammy) somehow seems to give license to people to be offensive.

Take the example of one guest who walked through the door- as usual I beamed and welcomed them. The gentleman looked me up and down, a sneer on his face, very sceptical, glanced around, his face seemed to imply that somehow i could not be associated with such an elegant environment. I am used to this by now, so my beam stays fixed on my face.
He then asked me,
" What kind of breakfast do you serve"? I am flummoxed. No one has ever asked me this before. Would he ask the same question in every hotel, I wonder? What does he think we served ? Idlis and Dosas for breakfasts or Englands most popular Indian dish " Chicken Tikka Masala". I smiled, gaining composure and reeled our classic English breakfast, Continental, Organic Vegetarian. Somehow he did not seem to believe this and left. What a loss for him- not us. As the breakfast here is to die for as repeatedly commented on by the thousands of guests who have stayed here.

There are innumerous instances of shocked faces of people when I walk to greet them- I dont wear Saris which would be quite a shock walking into a very Western looking hotel, I wear fairly elegant Western clothes, I smile - so I dont understand people's shock or even nervousness. I say, to myself, let it be - as those who greet me with an equally warm smile are those who tend to stay here. Warm, liberal, politically savvy guests.

As for the staff- my experiences are innumerous. Here is one example of rather strange staff behavior:

A young girl we used occasionally, on and off, as a waitress earned 1 1/2 times the minimum wage of a young person her age, plus all tips. One day, we had to replace her with a more experienced and older waiter to step in while the Head Waiter was away. As a woman under 18 she could not serve alcohol and I had to have one staff senior enough to serve alcohol. So, for the day she was replaced. When I told her this, I heard a stream of abuse from this girl over the phone - yelling- hysterical-offensive and personal. This very girl whose attitude of arrogance made us cringe, who used to sit with her foot on the table when she was not waiting, and brushed off mistakes with "it does not matter because they ( guests) dont mind", who was absolutely unable to hear any criticism from me, unable to accept mistakes as her own.

She desperately needed money but when offered work as an occasional morning waitress said " I cant, I am not a morning person". Hey, if you are desperate for money, any work is fine - of course within limits. Can't work in the morning because she was too lazy to come to work. Her telephone was perpetually engaged ( so I could tell her when work was available) and when this was pointed out, said "you can't do me out of work because you can't call me. It is not my fault the phone is engaged." Laughable - in our case despairing.

As a psychologist, I have met a range of people with a whole range of distresses, but some of the workers I have encountered here on the island remind me so much of my previous work place.

The work ethic and values on the island seem sooo laidback and anti establishment, that they remind me of warped hippies who run riot with the sort of "mission to kill" bullying tactics against the establishment. You have to either be hard nosed, a thug, very wealthy or a blonde to survive here.

thanked for restoring the building

2005-06-13T19:52:00.000+01:00

12th May 2005

After a hideous and back breaking 4 months of renovation, we found peace in the spaces that now occupy a bit of our souls and identities. We had partially exorcised the old spirit ( recent old, not the very old as we are sure they would be mortified to see the damage done to this glorious building) .

The building is so large and has been severely hacked up that we are finally aware of the garguntan task ahead of us. Despondency has set in. We replumbed the top floor of the building so that the water in the shower did not trickle but had full blast of power. But externally there is little to show. Shovelling in vast amounts of money into an old building like this should surely contribute to the history of the building.

The awful part of all this is to unearth work that must surely have been done by cowboys. The governmnet ought to pass legislation against owners who hack the architecture of a building for private gains without any thought of the beauty of the original constructions.

The Swimming Pool:

Our beautiful building has faced such a denigration. Like all emotionally compelled buyers we did not examine the building too closely. For eg- the swimming pool was 'functioning' according to our vendors. When we opened it for use we discovered a pump that was leaking ( for as long as it was installed, we subsequently learnt). It was formerly operated and filtered not by recycling the water but by throwing chemicals into the pool!! Shocked and dismayed we drained the pool of all water and now allow the our children and guest's children to use it as a den.

The Orangery:

A classic part of the building which we were quite shocked to see the state of disprepair. Simple acts such as repainting the wood had been forgotten. Then we climbed on to the false ceiling to discover that the original glass ceiling was still there, at least some of it, but slate tiles were placed on top of the glass panes!! They had not bothered to remove the glass before slating the roof.

Carpets:

When we decided to recarpet the rooms, we lifted one up to see the state it was in. The carpet was dated 1983. We bought the building in 2003.This implies that the previous owners who had run ( or run down) the hotel had not even changed the carpets they had inherited and this was formerly graded a 3 star hotel !!!

Dishwasher :

This was the most amazing machine. If we had sold it at an auction surely we would have earned a good amount. The machine was a huge aluminium contraption that looked like a Dalek and shook the building when one started it. Yes, we had to invest in a new machine.

Guests:

As always there are guests who are delightful and some who are a nightmare. When I was a practising Psychologist, I could choose not to see someone if they behaved obnoxiously, as an accomodation provider, I dont have a choice.( Maybe this should change as well) Some guests dont understand the costs incurred in maintaining a large building such as ours.The gardens require a full time gardener and the building a full time DIY person.

Occasionally, we have some well travelled and mature guests who understand the machinations of running such a venture and empathise. Some express gratitude for restoring such a beautiful building and I am grateful for these commenst.

We are however, running out of steam and finances. Only a miracle and some sound business strategies will help us survive.

moving on- the pain

2005-01-24T09:41:00.000Z

And so we struggle through our life in the rural coastal countryside. There are such stark differences and such dramatically opposing values among the people and the community, that we are not prepared emotionally. This is, despite 6 months of planning and anticipating all the possible problems we could encounter and working out strategies to encounter them. Now I find that these were pure intellectual excercises. Nothing prepared me for the emotional impact of this change, some of which are quite traumatic. All of us as a family are reeling.

The heart breaking experiences of my youngest daughter who has never in her life had to question her identity. In London she was comfortable, confident in the person she was. Here, as the only 'black'child in her class, she is subject to some debilitating discrimination and rejection. A chance comment- " I am not part of their tribe- I am alone in my tribe. Why do they treat me so differently? After all I am only a child" pointed me in the direction of her distress. The exclusion is not only by children but by parents and sometimes teachers. In North London ( among the people we knew), if a child wanted to play with another of her schoolmates, we made it possible. It did not matter who they were, the house they lived in or the money they had. We accommodated for our children- if they had friends and were happy- we were too.

At school, during a public harvest festival, the staff allowed children to stand up in front of all the school children and parents and refer to Asian/Indian food as " vomit like, sick looking, horrible, smelly" Shocking? And the theme of the festival was to understand and celebrate cultural differences!! In London, if this had taken place there would have been a parents strike!!

Of course, this does not stop here. Racial abuse in the buses (now we know why the island is known to be several decades behind), boycotting working at our hotel because we were against the war in Iraq!! Astonishing ? There is more.

As adults, we are stronger and better established in our mind sets than our children. My youngest daughter has dumbed herself down stataing clearly that she does not wish to be the only " boffin". Social adjustment - a lesson for us.

Rocking- Bestival

2004-09-13T13:05:00.000+01:00

The hotel crew had a rocking weekend. Two bands in one weekend was a lot to take in. The Mad Professor and Basement Jaxx. What a variety.

Now, I am serious rock festival virgin. Yes, I have been to several classical concerts all over the world - Bun Rakhu in Japan, Belly Dancing in Dubai and a host of performances in India, UK and Europe. But Rock Festivals - nah. Osi Bisa in 1978, in India is as far I go!!

So, in a state of euphoria at being given Family VIP passes to watch Basement Jaxx at the Bestival on the island. Equipped with a great bottle of red wine, 2 wide eyed kids and a husband in tow - we set off.

Robin Hill - the venue of the rock festival is one of the most eco-friendly theme parks I have been to. We walked in to the passionate rendition of The Cuban Brothers. Mesmerising.

The children were most awed by the scenes around them. Men, women, chidlren dancing in the sort of clothes that they not seen before- even as ex-London kids. When Fatboy Slim emerged to DJ - the crowd metamorphosed into a teeming mass of writhing, moving men, women on foot and in wheelchairs , moving in total harmony to the various rythms he seemd to throw at the audience. It was a wondrous vision- half naked men and women, dancing in a total meditative abandon to the wild music and moods. We joined in -- kept our clothes on though.

The festival was clean - yes smokers and drinkers and spliffers - no doubt - but there was a sense of peace and a sense of humaneness. No violent episodes while we were there. We thought that it was a perfect introduction to a rock festival for the children.

And of course, Basement Jaxx stayed at our hotel. 9 of them- all here. Their AC coach couldnt cope with the hairpin bends on the island roads - so a short brisk walk to the hotel, for the band.

They were delightful and respectful as were the other bands that have stayed at our hotel. Somehow, it was important to demystify the myths about rock bands - temperamental, wild, arrogant. Perhaps they will all be, one day, when they are true international celebrities, or not. For now, all these bands have been friendly, warm and particularly respectful of the privacy of other guests in the building.

As for the 2 delightful Jaxxes- Vula and Cassandra- wonderful warm personalities that match their talent. Fabulous singing and dancing skills. Delightful young women. As were the others but we only had a brief chat with Felix and Simon. We managed to take some photgraphs of the band:

Me and the band :-)

Me, Mark, Justina and Aleksandra and the band

All the bands we watched were talented - no pop music which was huge relief. The Bollywood Bar on the site was resplendant with colourful umbrellas and Bollywood filmes screened against the backdrop of the tent. Surreal.

Marketing:

For now it is back to the drawing board to come up with plans for winter revenues. Any ideas from readers or even contacts for workshops, residential weekend, Tai Chi - Yoga days, staff away days - email us please.

A beginning- what is this blog ?

2004-08-30T12:31:00.000+01:00

Prelude:

I have had several queries about my blank blog pages. Today I am motivated to write - of course fueled by guest comments.

I am writing a blog on the understanding that-

a) I am taking an enormous risk in making my views public,
b) that people who read my blog believe in free speech and understand that the views on my blog are personal and based on my expreiences, perceptions and observations ( and of course knowledge),
c) that I am a human being, as are the staff who work in my hotel capable of a whole range of emotions.That we are unwilling to follow a prescriptive formula ( excludes standards and legal issues) or be placed in a box of expected behavior.

This blog is my platform and space to explain and make public to visitors and readers, the values and philosophies that underlie the machinations of this hoteland restaurant. To all guests and readers of this blog, do remember that we are human and therefore capable of excellence and mistakes.

My beginnings:
We arrived just over a year, from London to the Isle of Wight. Cultural changes were so dramatic that I spent a great deal of my spare time supporting the children in adjusting to the people, their values and the limitations of living in the country. I struggle too, everyday. There are a handful of Indians on the island and my name and those of my childrens are percieved as wierd!!! Take that as one to contrast in London, where Nagoye is as common as Kate.

I learnt the hard way that the island was notoriously lacking in people who had the skills to work in the hospitality sector. Of course, my problem, as a new business owner was to find the most cost effective ways of running the hotel. Skilled staff are snapped up by older hotels, who obviously don't have the enormous start up costs of a new business, like us. As a newcomer, I have a limited pool to choose from. Our business rates and just running costs make the hotel seem like a white elephant. I have to reassure myself, everyday, that one day we will break even.

Yet given all these shortcomings, we have gained a reputation for being warm, effecient and hospitable hotel. The quality of the food is rigourously monitored that The Tiffin Room, my brainchild is quite successful. Last week I had an Italian family from Florence who came here just to eat and we only opened last October!!!.

As a family we have stayed in a variety of hotels all over the world, and the shape of this hotel is based on the foundation of our own experiences. So far, the people who have stayed with us have been extraordinary, vibrant and a fantastic mix. Our guests seem to range from families, single women(who find my pro-women views re- assuring I guess), TV actors, Rock bands, business folk, builders and a fascinating range of people from all over the world.

Some negative comments:
Out of all the people who have stayed over a year - we have had a few negative comments. These comments have come from people who seem not to make an effort to interact beyond 5 minutes. Instant judgements or those who expect to squeeeze every little they can get for their money. But then on an average, these kind of comments are 2 in 1000.

What I am proud of:
We are known for our courteousness and hospitable environment. I am Indian, it is in my blood. Everytime, we have guests requesting a table in an overflowing restaurant, I have to stop myself from sending up steaming bowls of food to eat in the rooms. 2 of the older staff who are from the North of England spend hours chatting to guests. We work incredibly hard and make an enormous effort to make guests comfortable.

We have Central European people who work in the restaurant . They are fluent in English, professional, educated to degree level, and are sometimes direct, not flowery or effusive. That is their culture. I believe that within a multicultural society we ought to be able to understand these differences and embrace them.

Who I am:
Working as a hotelier is a new experience for me. Working with people is not. I have been a Psychologist for over 20 years - worked as a Therapist, Manager, Officer, Director. I have been an Academic Researcher, Director of Theatrical productions, co- produced documentary films, was a stage actress and a model in India - people keep me going. I believe all these experiences shape the ethos of our small hotel.