mentoring moments with alicia

the silence

2008-12-15T16:51:00.002-06:00

Note: Perhaps you've noticed the GAP since my most recent mentoring moments post. It is linked to that little phrase in my last entry, "barring another computer crash." Perhaps I should have lowered the bar :-). A virus ate through my computer and initiated its untimely demise...and dear Dell was backlogged...so my new computer arrived one month ago. To date, I've only spent two hours on the phone with a technician servicing my new computer. Not bad: 5 weeks old, 2 hours on repair. It's a promising start!

So let us continue with mentoring principle #2: Life is the offspring of life.

Programs do not birth spiritual growth, life does.

Paper does not parent a soul, life does.

The programs, the paper...they are helpful tools but tools are the servant (not the source) of life.

I am grateful to live in a culture where tools are excellent and easily accessible. When we combine appropriate tools with actual connections--something powerful occurs. Within a church, when we combine "pulpit to pew" with "shoulder to shoulder," we transition from inspiration to integration; from expounding, to equipping.

Very early on--even before Jesus interrupted my atheistic existence--I encountered the power of the "present of presence."

Next week I'll begin to tell the stories of the first of these "presents" I received.

principles of mentoring: 1

2008-09-17T21:32:00.002-05:00

Technically it's still summer where I live but the leaves are falling and the mornings are wonderfully crisp. I want to thank all of you who prayed with me through the summer. Your prayers strengthened us through a full few months.

Now on to the new mentoring moments series. Each week (barring another computer crash) I will share some thoughts on a subject very dear to my heart: mentoring. Please feel free to email me questions throughout the Fall at contact@truthportraits.com.

Principle #1: Don't get hung up on terminology. Focus on following Jesus' example of growing others.

In our day people often snag on whether they are coaching, discipling, mentoring, teaching, guiding...Please know that I will use these words synonymously. Many books have been written distinguishing these phrases as different forms of investment. But as I share over the next few months, I will not expend energy trying to determine where one form begins or where another overlaps.

One of my first personal (as opposed to group) Bible studies was on the life of Jesus as a mentor. I walked through the gospels and considered each interaction he had with others. Regardless of what we call it, Jesus' model is life-changing.

summer of prayer, week eight

2008-08-21T18:56:00.003-05:00

Hello praying friends, I apologize for dropping off of the planet for the last two weeks. Today is my first day back in my office after a dear friend passed away.

Thank you for your prayers for Keona and me on our prayer retreat (WONDERFUL!), for little Louie (we're continuing the search for speech therapy), and for the book (it's been on pause the last few weeks).

For the rest of August, I would treasure your prayers for the following:

1. Please pray for Jayne and her two teen boys, John and Andy. Family and out of town friends will be heading home soon.

2. Please pray for dear Keona. We have had concern about her visual perception abilities and she has been taking a series of tests. On Monday we see a pediatric ophthalmologist to explore this concern further. Initial tests strongly point toward visual dyslexia.

3. The book deadline seems close to impossible at this point. I haven't had the emotional energy to write at all for the last 10 days. Please pray for strength as I begin to turn back toward the book tomorrow and also for grace with my dear publisher.

Much love,
alicia

summer of prayer, week seven

2008-07-31T22:43:00.003-05:00

Wonderful news! We spoke with our friends the Zickafoose's and they were so glad to report that Joe has not been sick as they had anticipated from the chemo! Thank you for your prayers. Please continue to pray that Jayne stays healthy so she can stay with Joe while he's in the hospital the next few weeks.

Thank you also for your prayers for the release of the new resources and for my time speaking with the Chaplains. They were a very receptive group of sincere, substantial souls.

For the next week:

1. Tomorrow, Keona and I leave on a spiritual retreat together for 48 hours in Kansas City. We're going to a kids worship gathering, staying at a hotel, doing her nails together for the first time, and enjoying some special "mommy & me" mentoring time. She's so excited. In fact, it's almost 11pm and she's STILL awake!

2. We've had visits from 4 professionals this past week for little Louie. The doctors feel Louie is 9 months delayed. The First Steps teams feels he is only 4-6 months delayed. Now we begin wading through insurance and therapy options. We would appreciate your continued prayers for a team to grow around our dear baby boy.

3. I am writing 'like the wind' these days for the next book. Please pray for a very fruitful August :-) !

summer of prayer, week six

2008-07-24T21:58:00.002-05:00

Thank you all so much for your prayers last week! The trip to Louisiana was FABULOUS. Today we met with the director of services for First Steps for Louie. And it appears that all is well with the insurance medical claim. Whew.

For this week, I would greatly appreciate your prayers for the following:

1. A dear friend, Joe Zickafoose, begins chemo Friday morning in preparation for a bone marrow transplant. The doctors told him that he would be very sick for weeks. Joe and Jayne are incredible people. Please pray for them during this difficult time. Joe was diagnosed with cancer earlier this summer.

2. Friday at 9am and then again at 1pm I will be speaking to a group of chaplains and spouses on the themes of Crossward and Anonymous. Please pray that these messages encourage their weary souls.

3. An hour ago, we sent an email announcing three new resources for Anonymous! Please pray for the bible study and DVD teachings in particular to get in the hands and hearts of those who will benefit from it's message.

summer of prayer, week five

2008-07-16T00:41:00.003-05:00

summer of prayer: week five

Hello friends!

Updates from last week:

1. The publisher had their meeting and decided they do want me to write the devotional! Thank you so much for your prayers. I'm very excited and passionate about the theme.
2. At Louie's evaluation, they concluded that he is a year delayed in his expressive language. Next week a set of specialists come to our home for a full assessment.
3. It was a joy to share with the missionaries and all the DVD edits have been completed. In fact, today I held in my hands the Anonymous DVDs, bible study, and journal!!!

For this week:

1. Please pray for safe travels and effective ministry as Mom, Keona, Amy and I drive to speak in Louisiana.
2. Please pray for wisdom as we begin to customize services for Little Louie.
3. Please pray that I can write "like the wind" when I return from Louisiana.
4. It's been a month since the dear woman ran a red and totaled our car. Next week I finish a round of physical therapy. Please pray for clarity and favor as I try to tie up the loose ends of the medical claims.

Thank you friends.

summer of prayer, week four

2008-07-06T21:39:00.003-05:00

summer of prayer: week four

I am so grateful for your partnership in prayer this summer! For those of you who may be new to this blog, normally we spend several weeks focused on a theme but this summer I am inviting you to join in prayer with our family. In August I'll resume the mentoring moments blog with a 12 week series on mentoring.

This week, two dear friends came into town which was (and still is) a great joy. Precious Keona went to her first summer ballet and tap classes. Bear had a great time interacting with others at his two meetings and is now on a 24 hour prayer retreat. The final edits took place for the bible study and journal. Thank you all for your prayers!

Prayer requests for this week:

1. Well, for those of you who have been faithfully praying for the publisher's meeting, they postponed it until this Wednesday! Keep a-praying :-).

2. On Monday we go in for Louie's developmental evaluation. Please pray for wisdom for the doctors.

3. On Tuesday, our dear Aunt Stefa heads back home (we will MISS her) and I go from the airport to share on Anonymous: Jesus' Hidden Years and Yours with a wonderful group of missionaries. Immediately after that I'll be working with Joel on the final edits for the Anonymous DVD.

Thank you for your prayers!

alicia

summer of prayer, week three

2008-06-29T22:20:00.002-05:00

Thank you for your prayers this week! Here's the update:

(1) I had the date wrong on the publisher's meeting :-) It was Wednesday and we haven't heard back yet. Please keep praying.
(2) The anonymous Bible study and journal go to print Tuesday!! Joel and I completed the first round of edits on the DVDs as well. Thank you for praying.
(3) Jona had an INCREDIBLE day at kid's college. It was amazing.

And a few new requests for this week:

(1) Please pray for Bear and two speaking commitments this week regarding re-entry training and networking for third-culture college students.
(2) Jona did great at kid's college but overall he is struggling in a new way with impulsivity. He even says, "Mom, I don't want to make bad choices. Why do I keep making them? Is it my brain? I feel so badly afterwards." Please pray for our precious son.
(3) Please pray over a few decisions being made by publishers and churches this week--that Father would grant favor in accordance with his will.
(4) Dear Cherri (my events manager) heads out to Colorado this week for her daughter's wedding!!! Please pray for safe travels, smooth details, and great joy.
(5) In case I don't get to blogging in time, on Monday July 7th, we take Louie in for a speech evaluation. Little buddy only has 1-2 words at 18 months. We would appreciate your prayers.

new series, summer of prayer--week two

2008-06-23T09:21:00.002-05:00

Thank you so much for your prayers last week! The process of walking through the car accident has been very smooth. The bible study is nearing completion. And the weekend of ministry at UPBC was an absolute delight!

For this week I would appreciate your prayers for the following:

1. Today a publishing house meets to consider a proposal from one of their departments that would like for me to write a devotional for an organization. Please pray for favor in accordance with God's will.

2. This week the anonymous: Jesus' hidden years and yours bible study text and design will be finalized. Please pray for eagle eyes for editing Also, I will begin working with JoelT Media on editing for the anonymous dvd accompaniment! We were blessed to have an excellent team (The Broadcast Group) video-taping the ministry time at UPBC so I came home with all their tapes.

3. Please pray for our dear Jonathan this Thursday. He is enrolled in a "kid's college" class on animation. He's so thrilled but he has really been struggling in group contexts recently. Please pray for peace to rest on him and that he would be able to hear and learn. Listening in a group is truly a challenge for him.

new series, summer of prayer

2008-06-16T00:40:00.004-05:00

Though I had intended to begin a mentoring series on, well, mentoring, I'd like to pause on that subject for a few months and instead take the next 8 weeks to invite you to partner in prayer with me over a few very specific issues.

Each week through mid-August, I'll update this blog with new requests. The summer is more full than usual for the Chole tribe and we REALLY could use your prayer support.

Specifically for this week, I would treasure your prayers for the following:

1. A dear woman ran a red Thursday and we "T-boned" her in the intersection. The kids are--thank God--fine. The car is toast. My back is somewhere in between. Bless her (I mean that sincerely), she confessed freely to the policeman so we don't have to wade through all the mess that sometimes accompanies accidents. Please ask God to encourage her and bless her 100-fold for telling the truth. Please pray for wisdom as we decide on a vehicle. Our car was 10 years old but ran great and was our primary vehicle.

2. THIS WEEK I need to finish writing the Anonymous: Jesus' hidden years and yours bible study. Pray that I think and write like the wind. Please pray for Kate as she designs like the wind as well.

3. On Friday Christie and I fly to Charlotte, NC to speak at a wonderful church on Anonymous. They are taping and are willing to give us permission to use the video to edit into a DVD accompaniment for Anonymous! Please pray for all the details from sound to taping to powerpoint. And please pray for me to be able to focus on the dear people and truly minister to them.

Thank you friends.

rest, part eight

2008-06-04T22:38:00.002-05:00

8. when there is no rest

We have just returned from a 15 day family vacation road trip. My entries about rest ended the day we started packing :-). For the last two weeks, we have enjoyed long van rides, sardine-like sleeping conditions in hotels in between my snoring hubby and mom, the constant monitoring of baby Louie in not-so-kid friendly environments, the noise of big cities, the crowds of theme parks...you get the picture.

Rest? Not so much. Even my normal "sanctuary" of the bathroom was rarely uninterrupted! But in these crowded spaces of life, I attempt to rest internally by "doing every little thing for the love of God" as Brother Lawrence would say. Most of the time I'm simply strategizing how I'm going to clean Louie's last pacifier, but every now and then I remember that God is still profoundly WITH me and I exert energy to think with Him.

Sometimes I Scripture pray in those spaces. Sometimes I simply sigh and say thank-you. But I attempt to quiet my distracted mind and remember His nearness, His love, His attention. Those moments are like thick raindrops on my soul--refreshing and, yes, even restful.

rest, part seven

2008-05-19T22:59:00.006-05:00

7. rest: planning ahead

I have just returned from participating in a retreat in California and had the joy of spending a few hours with my dear Aunt Sylvia. After a wonderful meal of Indian food, we stopped by her house and the first thing I noticed was a string of gorgeous, strong, many flowered, tall, sunflowers lining her driveway. She said, "Oh those? They are volunteers! They'll last the whole summer."

I've planted sunflowers.
Most died. A few grew. None flowered all summer.
And I've NEVER had volunteers.

Rest is more like my sunflowers than those of my dear Aunt Sylvia. Rest rarely volunteers itself. It almost never appears and grows strong on its own accord. It requires careful planning, repeated planting, constant protection.

So for an exercise, let's look at the summer before us:

What would we like to say about our relationship with God around August 1st?
How can we create a quiet space each day to simply whisper "I love you" to God, take a few deep breaths, wind down, and refocus on the eternal? Early mornings? Late nights? On the porch? In the bathroom?
What could we do this summer that would help us tap into how God has uniquely designed us to worship and experience him? Painting? Hikes? Ballet? Piano?
What would it take to carve out a 24-48 hour prayer retreat? Asking relatives to come help with the children? Taking a few days vacation for ourselves? Cooperating with a friend to help each other cover responsibilities for a day?

rest, part six

2008-05-13T17:05:00.002-05:00

6. rest: a mental journey

Personally, setting boundaries relationally and physically has been MUCH easier for me than setting boundaries mentally. Being intentional about relational investment, choosing to carve out monthly prayer retreats, saying "no, thank you" to opportunities...though challenging, these choices have seemed easy compared to the continual struggle I have to rest in my mind.

By nature, my brain is always humming, processing, creating, trouble-shooting, in short--working! For years, I considered my multi-tasking auto-pilot a gift. Perhaps not :-). Mental multi-tasking has several shadows including not being fully present for others, not being able to pause between responsibilities, and increasing my vulnerability to stress.

So Jesus and I are working on this one. Actually, He's patiently encouraging my very slow progress. For those who share my struggle, here are a few principles I keep before me:

Years ago I read a sign that said, "when you walk, just walk. when you eat, just eat." What a concept! It hints of truths from Brother Lawrence's writings about savoring God's presence in this very moment.
I have a limited amount of daily emotional and mental energy. Long-term it is much more valuable for me to use that energy being thankful for today instead of trouble-shooting tomorrow.
When I'm stuck on a thought/problem, I ask God to mentor my mind. Often I'm just thinking instead of thinking WITH Him. What a difference that small word "WITH" makes!
At night, I fast problem solving--otherwise I would have trouble sleeping.
I use my daytimer to write challenges down and carve out time to process them. Today, for example, I want to think through everything to pack for the upcoming family road trip. But the best use of time is to postpone that processing until the flight home from California instead of eating up precious family time today.
I screen phone calls and try to answer business calls only during my scheduled office time to both protect family time AND to not turn on my brain about decisions that can wait until tomorrow or the next time I'm in my office (which is above our garage).
When I'm tempted to over-work things in my brain, I take a few deep breathes, turn my thoughts toward Jesus, and talk with Him, remembering that He is with me and that--since He hasn't had a hysterectomy :-)-- His memory is impeccable. He remembers even what I forget. If it's that important, He is perfectly capable of bringing it back to my mind.

rest, part five

2008-05-06T20:56:00.003-05:00

5. rest: my personal journey

Often people ask me if rest is just part of my natural personality--in other words, have rest and margin always been a part of my life. In a word, NO! If you were to ask any of the dear students we served at the University of Texas this question, they might actually laugh. Bear and I as single ministers and then for our first 7 years of marriage, burned the candle at both ends. We each put in 70-80 hours a week, slept little, always had people in our home, and absolutely loved life.

Then God surprised me with a discovery from my journals. Every year I carve out time to read the past year's journals and try to paint a bigger picture of what God has been weaving into my life. In 1994, the past year's journals were filled with words like sad, discouraged, discontent, low, blue, down.

Through the wisdom of a mentor, God showed me that my internal treasure cave was down to its last few pearls. I could keep going at the same pace if I wanted, but I'd wake up soon and find myself totally empty. God then invited me into a sabbatical season.

I thought it was a year of rest, but in fact, God was calling me to rewire my whole life. It didn't happen overnight, in fact I'm still working on these disciplines. But by God's grace and infinite patience, Barry and I now celebrate margin and intentionally work to not live past the edge of our emotional and physical reserves.

There are certainly seasons when we choose to spend that margin on the unexpected (we're in one of those seasons now :-) but that's a conscious choice. And it feels so good (after fourteen years!) to know that when we need to call on a reserve, its going to be there.

Margin is like an emergency savings account--you have to invest in it before an emergency.

rest, part four

2008-04-27T20:39:00.003-05:00

4. rest: distinguishing between need, ability, season, and calling

After the last post I received an email asking an excellent question about how to distinguish between need, ability, season, and calling. Here are some of the principles I call upon to navigate through those challenging waters:

A wise missiologist, Steve Hawthorne, once said to me, "Alicia, you have a lot of dreams and ideas. That's okay, because you have a whole lifetime to live them." His words challenged me to realize that all of the things I feel called to do don't need to be done TODAY. The longings and interests and giftings in my heart are going to be realized throughout my entire lifetime.
There's a great deal of difference between saying, "I volunteer because there's a need" and "I volunteer because there's a God."
The greatest gift I can give people I need to say "no" to is to be faithful to those God calls me to say "yes" to.
Personally, God leads me through peace, not stress. If I feel stressed about saying "no" I give myself more time. It is much easier to ask for more time to pray than to reverse a hastily uttered "yes" later on.
God's primary prerequisite for calling people to a task is not gifting. Because I am able to do something well, that does not mean that God is calling me to do it.

rest, part three

2008-04-16T21:43:00.004-05:00

3. rest: the discipline of selective disappointment

In the beginning...of ministry, I said "yes" to other's requests for a variety of reasons:

I felt I was supposed to say "yes"
I wanted to honor the people who asked me to say "yes"
I thought something would go undone [gasp] if I didn't say "yes"
I wanted people to consider me a team player or to simply value me for helping out
I reasoned that if I'm able to meet a need, I must therefore be called to meet that need

But when all these reasons layered over one another, I soon found myself running on empty.

Once God graciously began helping me to distinguish between need, ability, season, and calling...the next big challenge for me personally was paying the price of others' disappointment when I started to respectfully say "no, thank you" to opportunities and requests.

The discipline of selective disappointment goes something like this:

people are always going to have an opinion about how you should be using your time and talents
if you are here, some will think you should be there; if you're doing this, some will think you should be doing that...
so since people are going to be disappointed ANYWAY, I vote we take authority in how that disappointment is distributed

When I'm faced with someone's disappointment, I remind myself of the following:

need is a voice that never says "enough"
the greatest gift I can give anyone will come from the overflow of a healthy, well-nurtured relationship with Jesus and my family
every time I say "no" I give someone else the opportunity to say "yes" and that's a good thing

rest, part two

2008-04-07T10:25:00.002-05:00

2. rest: a framework

I would like to strongly suggest that you consider purchasing a great book that will provide a spiritual, physical, and interpersonal framework for our redefining of rest: Margin, by Dr. Swenson.

Barry and I read this book years ago. Picture a straight line that represents our daily reserve of personal energy. Swenson is a medical doctor whose premise is that God designed us (physically, emotionally, relationally) to live between points A and B and that the space between B to C is on reserve for the unexpected, for crisis. BUT on a daily basis we live from A to C. So when a crisis does arise, it pushes us over into overload.

In other words, God didn't design us to live to the end of our abilities every day. We're supposed to have a buffer. If we live each day to the end of our rope, there's nothing left to hold onto when an unanticipated problem calls for something "more."

rest, part one

2008-03-28T10:58:00.002-05:00

Rest.

Those of you familiar with my writings will know that this is a dear theme to me :-).

In our culture we view rest as a reward for faithfulness. We plan on resting after the project is complete, after we get that promotion, after that busy season, after we retire, or after...we die?!

However, as I study rest in the bible, it seems that more than a reward for faithfulness, rest is a prerequisite for fruitfulness.

Now some may challenge that and say, "But, in the Creation account, God worked for six days and then rested on the seventh."

True.

But what was God doing before Day One?

Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing several thoughts on resting in the midst of real life. I hope you enjoy them!

taking a 24-hour prayer retreat, part seven

2008-03-22T15:22:00.003-05:00

7. retreat flow continued: variations and closure

This flow of worship, repentance, rest, listening, and intercession normally takes me to the end of my 24 hours. Occasionally, there is space for another nap, a long bath, or a few chapters of a favorite book.

Several times a year I take longer retreats:

One 48-hour retreat is devoted to reviewing my previous year's personal inventory (a collection of prayerful goals spiritually, physically, relationally...for that year) and preparing the new year's inventory.
Another 48-hour retreat is devoted to reviewing the year's journals and daytimer and gathering together words of wisdom, correction, stories for the kid's journals, and ideas for writing.
Once a year I head out to a desert in Arizona for a 5-6 day retreat that's simply devoted to loving Jesus.

The final hour of a retreat is very precious to me. I try to savor it with quietness and a posture of love toward Jesus. I may take a walk with him or kneel at a favorite place of prayer.

Even as I pack and transition, I try to keep the retreat-mindset. I am not leaving the retreat, the retreat is coming with me! The quietness, the trust, the forgiveness, the re-centered peace...it does not stay behind in the B&B.

Like a good perfume, the retreat lingers. Barry always notices increased patience and joy in me when I return. I see the fruit in clarity of thought and a decrease in worry. Not too long ago, my dear 4 year old Keona asked me when she can begin taking prayer retreats!

14 years ago when I first started taking regular prayer retreats, I thought of them as a luxury. Now I know they are a necessity for me. My hope is that these thoughts on taking a retreat have been helpful for you.

Next week we'll start a new series! Feel free to email me with any ideas you have for topics: contact@truthportraits.com.

taking a 24-hour prayer retreat, part six

2008-03-13T21:11:00.002-05:00

6. retreat flow continued: listening and intercession

Worship, repentance, rest...next for me comes a time of listening, of waiting. Spiritually, waiting on God is more than resigning ourselves to the reality that we're not in control. It's a posture of attentiveness. We wait upon God because he's worthy of waiting for--whether or not he ever speaks.

In the silence, I often sense God drawing my attention toward needs and inviting me to partner with him in prayer. Please note that this is a different starting point than me laying my list before God; than me initiating the prayer direction. God knows my needs. But to be honest, there are many times when THE issue I thought was most pressing never makes it onto my intercession list or is way down the list in priority. There's something perspective-inducing in asking God to establish my prayer priorities.

Responding to his lead, I begin to pray over an area or issue. I may write things to remember in my journal or sense specific points of action to implement when I return home. Sometimes the prayer emphasis is simple and only takes a few minutes. Other times I've fasted a meal to focus in intercession.

taking a 24-hour prayer retreat, part five

2008-03-07T21:35:00.002-06:00

5. retreat flow continued: repentance and rest

Focusing on God alone almost always leads me gently into repentance. I think that worship is one of the healthiest and safest preparations for repentance. The revelation of sin is clean because it's overshadowed by God's goodness and greatness and opposed to initiated by self-perfectionism or some fear-inspired "witch" hunt for error.

When I become aware of something, I normally offer it to God quietly. Sometimes I'll change posture, perhaps kneel, and ask his forgiveness. I'll wait for a few minutes to pause and listen or journal. And then continue with worship.

Basilea Schlink said that, "Jesus and the repentant sinner belong together." She believed that we're never closer to God than when we are asking his forgiveness because reconciliation and forgiveness is what Jesus died for. So I see these times of repentance and integral to--not opposed to--the focus on worship.

Often I'll come to a peace-filled pause after investing in scripture praise. And then I'll often nap. Yep, I'll put in my ear plugs and snuggle under a blanket and nap as long as I can. It's fabulous! As I fall asleep I often think of Father God's eyes watching over me. These times of rest are holy too. They refresh my spirit as well as my body. Sometimes I'll spend an entire retreat simply cycling from worship through repentance to rest.

Depending on wiring, some may feel they need to emerge from a retreat with something tangible like an answer to a burning prayer or a new teaching...But personally, answers and productivity are not what I hope/look for in a prayer retreat. Resting with him is.

taking a 24-hour prayer retreat, part four

2008-02-29T23:10:00.004-06:00

4. retreat flow: mindset, walk, worship

You've checked into your B&B or monastery, unpacked your bag, and are now minutes into an expanse of 24 hours alone with God. Glorious!

In time, we all establish a rhythm for these sacred spaces of prayer. Here's how retreats flow for me:

I begin by taking deep breathes and a slow walk in the garden, woods, field (depending on where I am) or even just around the room. During the walk, I establish a mindset that I'm taking a prayer retreat WITH God. I'm not alone and He's not a silent spectator. This is a date--a protected time for the nurturing of OUR relationship.

Then I always dedicate the first block of time to worship which isn't a natural starting point for me. I'd rather write in my journal or read Tozer. But over the years I've found it immeasurably more healthy for me to begin thinking about who He is rather than thinking about who I am or what my challenges/hurts/questions are. Occasionally I sing, but more often I scripture praise by reading truths about God straight from the Word. This isn't pre-planned. I simply open the Psalms and speak aloud the truths about God that I find.

Much more to come, but I need to get to bed :-). I'll post more soon.

taking a 24-hour prayer retreat, part three

2008-02-25T20:22:00.002-06:00

3. Packing to go

You've chosen the date and made your reservation. Now I'd like to offer some thoughts for packing light, physically and emotionally:

Pack your favorite bible, plenty of pens, pencils, and markers, perhaps a concordance, and a journal.
Carefully select a few books that you feel would nourish your spirit. My favorites are Practicing the Presence by Brother Lawrence and In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen.
Please, please, consider making this retreat a no-media, low-tech zone. In other words, if it powers up, leave it home.

Exceptions could include a laptop if it's (really) your journal and your cell phone for emergencies.
Set up an auto-respond for email, commit to not use your phone except for emergencies, and alert your closest circle of friends that you need their help guarding this space.

Give some thought to your retreat surroundings. What would be relaxing for you?

Consider bringing a guitar or hiking boots, some painting supplies or bubble bath, good teas or specialty coffees...
Some may ask, "Why not bring a good movie?" Primarily because there seems to be a difference between resting and escaping. I really enjoy a good movie. But for a prayer retreat I ask myself, "Can I truly talk with God and listen for His voice while doing ______?" If the answer is no, I leave it at home.

What about music? You may want to consider a recorded-music fast for your first few retreats. Music is often a filler for us and part of a prayer retreat is rediscovering the power of silence. But obviously this is up to you. 14 years into the discipline of monthly prayer retreats, I occasionally bring my ipod loaded with worship music but my guess is I've only actually used it once in the last year.
You also may want to bring ear plugs or your pillow if you're a light sleeper and of course all the stuff your mom always reminded you about (sunscreen, bug off, medicines...)

taking a 24-hour prayer retreat, part two

2008-02-18T09:54:00.005-06:00

2. Reserve a place

Now that you have carved out the time, make a reservation somewhere for your retreat. Here are some options:

A. Monasteries and Catholic Solitudes

Ask your local Catholic church if there are any monasteries or solitudes in your area.
Monasteries often have simple guest rooms with a bed, chair, and desk. Many provide meals and the opportunity to experience prayer time or vespers in a common chapel.
Solitudes are more private--often you won't see a soul--but they will be quieter than monasteries which may have other guests.
Most often, these options only request a free-will offering for your stay. Barry & I try to leave around $30/night to help cover their expenses.

B. A Bed & Breakfast

Personally, this is the option I choose most months! Search your area for B&Bs with THICK walls to ensure quietness.
B&Bs provide an opportunity to rest in comfortable surroundings. Take a bubble bath. Enjoy hot tea by a fireplace. You get the picture.

C. A hotel or a friend's house

The challenge with hotels or houses is often noise levels and atmosphere.
But if you choose wisely (and commit to unplugging the TV and the phone) hotels and houses can also provide an environment conducive for prayer and reflection.

taking a 24 hour prayer retreat, part one

2008-02-06T11:10:00.000-06:00

1. Set a date

Yes, even before you know why you're going or what you're going to do, please sit down with your daytimer and carve out space. 24 hours is wonderful, but don't give-up if all you can find is a morning or an afternoon.

These spaces are "made" not "born." Something else will have to be paused or cancelled, especially in the beginning. That's just fine though. You will emerge from your 24 hours much more focused, creative, and kind :-).