One Girl Show

new toy

2008-08-24T19:57:00.002-04:00

Looky...new toy!

My aunt Colleen gave it to me. It came from her aunt, who we think used it a lot. I'm really excited to learn how to spin. I don't know how adept at it I'll be, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

In other news...there isn't really any other news. I've been basically laying low most of the weekend because every time I eat anything, the gallbladder kicks my ass. I can't NOT eat...so I have to just kind of suck it up. It's not excruciating, but it's enough to make me feel icky and blah and like not wanting to go out and do any more than I have to. So that's basically what I've been doing.

I didn't sleep very much at all last night...that's not helping, either. I went from anxiety-ridden about not feeling good to finally falling asleep and having awful dreams about fighting with Mark (which never happens in real life so it's all the more disturbing when I dream about it). I woke up to the phone ringing at 6:30...mom waking me up to go grocery shopping. I put the phone back down and proceeded to sit and bawl my eyes out for a good 10 minutes, still overwhelmed by the bad dreams and just generally being over-tired. Tonight is an in-bed-by-9 night, I do believe. Not that I think I'll need it, but I'm going to take a half dose of sleeping pill momentarily, just to ensure that I don't have another night like last night.

rock-a-bye

2008-08-21T22:26:00.003-04:00

I can't sleep lately. I'm tired...for sure. But I can't seem to fall asleep at night. I'm sure it's probably just a side effect of the Wellbutrin...I had trouble sleeping when I was on it before, too. I hate taking sleeping pills, though. They make me feel hung over the next day.

Work has been busy. We're headed into the busy season, and I need to make sure I stay on top of stuff as much as possible because Mark will be here Oct 23rd - 30th, and I want to be able to have that week off to spend with him.

Weight loss has been going well, though I have to admit that there's been a complete lack of exercise lately. I've just been eating a lot less. The gallstones have been acting up the past week or so, which means I can't really eat anything fatty anyway. That means: no cheese, no mayo, no full-fat dairy, no oil-based dressings or sauces, not a whole lot of meat other than skinless baked chicken. Also, I've discovered (the hard way) that pita chips, which I totally love, bother me even though they're baked, which really bummed me out. Basically all I can eat is the aforementioned chicken, vegetables (which I prefer raw anyway), fruit and fat-free yogurt. Sounds boring? That's because it is. Sigh.

finito

2008-08-17T20:44:00.003-04:00

Whew! It took me until just after midnight on Saturday night, but I finished the back-zip hoodie in time for the baby shower, which was this morning! Here is the final product:

Pattern: Fiber Trends Back Zip Hoodie
Yarn: Plymouth Encore in two greens
Needles: I used US 6's on the body because I didn't like the way it was coming out on 8's. Too loose! The pattern calls for going down 2 sizes for the shawl collar, so I used a US 4 circ. I went to do the sleeves and realized that I didn't have / couldn't find size 6 DPNs or a circ, so I had to use 7's. I think it came out fine, though. I just tried to keep the yarn tight so that it wouldn't be too floppy.

I didn't take a picture of the back zipper, but I did get it in there. I ended up just pinning the hell out of it and hand-basting it in, then hand-stitching over the basting. It wasn't so much hard as just a pain in the ass. The rest of the pattern was quiet clever though, and I'll most likely be making it again.

Also, big excitement - I got internet at home again! Woo! I've been having some sporadic problems with connectivity over the weekend - not sure if it's the DSL itself or the wireless. I don't know enough about either one to make a guess. I just know that it kept dropping me all afternoon / evening today and it was SUPER frustrating...but it appears to have resolved itself now. So...yay! And thank you to Alex for the laptop!

yay and stuff

2008-08-13T13:53:00.003-04:00

Things are going better today. I went back to the doctor this morning to have blood drawn. I had to wait a little while, but I found out later on that the LPN that I really like and trust had seen me waiting and told the other LPN on duty to let her take me, which was really nice of her. She's so funny and she keeps me so preoccupied with gossiping that I don't even realize what she's doing till it's over. I didn't even get dizzy this time! She also brought me juice and crackers and sat and chatted with me for a while to make sure I was ok to drive. She spoils me...it's worth waiting a little longer for her.

I had my blood pressure checked again while I was there, as it was running fairly high when I was in on Monday afternoon. It's amazing what using the correct size cuff will do. My BP was 124/82, which is not too shabby at all. When my LPN realized that the other lady had been using the wrong sized cuff right along, she was livid, and she made a point of telling the RN on duty that ALL the LPN's need to be reminded to use the right size cuff. So, that made me feel better, that things were actually well under control BP-wise when Monday I had been told maybe they weren't.

Been working on a Back-zip baby hoodie for my soon-to-be-born nephew, Oliver. Pictures forthcoming, of course. It's coming out really well so far, except I think I might need to rip the shawl collar part out and re-do it on bigger needles. The pattern said to go down 2 needle sizes for it, but it's looking a little constrictive. We'll see.

Also - got a laptop for home...w00t! Now I just have to get DSL hooked up so that I have no excuse for not blogging my little brain out from home. Yay!

fear and loathing in Vermont

2008-08-11T15:30:00.000-04:00

I seriously hate myself today. I woke up late. None of my laundry was dry. I put on something that I realized, on the way out of the house, looked horrible...then realized that I'd worn it in two very public places in the past month, probably looking just as horrible. I went back in and changed clothes again to something equally as hideous but at least slightly less offensive. I was about 40 minutes late to work. Once at work, I spent most of the morning antagonizing someone on a message board who, granted, has been a dick to me in the past but who didn't really deserve my lashing out. It made me feel temporarily better but then I realized what an asshole I was being. I then proceeded to sit here and basically sulk and not get much work done for a few hours. I had a doctor's appointment at 2, which I went to. They checked my blood pressure and it was high. Then the doctor told me she wants me to come in and have blood drawn this week. She took my blood pressure again after that, and as you can imagine, it was even HIGHER (I don't do blood draws). So that was fun. Then I came back to work and have been watching the clock, just waiting for five to strike so I can run, not walk, out of here.

And what waits for me at home? A sink full of dishes that I've been avoiding for a lot longer than what's considered safe and sanitary, I'm sure. A dark, damp house full of clutter and shit. Unpaid bills. Possibly messages on the answering machine ABOUT unpaid bills. Vegetables, because apparently I can't eat anything else ever again. Knitting and my dog...those are good things...but they can only do so much for me. At least Mark's phone got fixed, so I can talk to him for more than 5 minutes tonight. That's a good thing.

I just plain hate today. I know, I know...it's a complete waste of energy. I hear you. I keep trying to tell myself that, but even the voice inside my head hates me today. I think the best thing I can do is just go home, get to bed early, and hope to hell tomorrow goes better.

haunted by dreams

2008-08-08T14:53:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning with the strangest sensation: as if something warm had just been lifted from my shoulders, a cool void left by the reluctant break of an embrace.

We were younger. Ten years so, or maybe more. His smile shone brilliantly in the fleeting glimpses of his face. Dark hair. Tall. Laughter in his eyes. I played hard-to-get, but he knew it was a front. He made me smile so wide I thought my face would burst. I followed him when I could, and looked for him everywhere when I couldn't. It was so comfortable there. I belonged to him, absolutely entranced. Bewitched.

He was gone with the buzz of the alarm clock. In those first few moments before the world came into focus, I swore I could still feel him there. Who was he? Where did he come from? While beautiful, he wasn't someone I recognized from my past. Did my brain complete fabricate him, or was he a great love from a past (or future) life?

All I can do is grasp desperately at the smokey whisps of his memory...

...and be haunted by dreams...

what I did on the hottest Saturday ever

2008-06-08T19:20:00.002-04:00

I got the brilliant idea to take this:

Remove all of this:

and, after 3 grueling (for everyone), hot, sweaty hours, end up with this:

He has an appointment to go to the groomer - they'll fix up his feet and his face because he won't let me do much with them - but it's not until July 2nd, and there was no way I could let him go shaggy with it being 90 degrees and jungle-humid here, and me with no A/C! So, I dropped $25 on a new set of clippers, we set up my mom's grooming table on the front porch, and went to town! We had both more than had our fill by the end of things, but he was such a little trooper and it came out way better that I had figured it would. Sharp blades make a world of difference! You can't really tell from the picture, but he's down to a very tight buzz-cut now. We're talking like...Marines style. He's much more comfortable, and it was well worth the time and money to get him there! Also, I'm figuring I lost at least 8 lbs in sweat alone...hah!

a wake up call

2008-06-05T15:03:00.000-04:00

I went for an ultrasound on Monday. The main reason was to peer into my annoying-ass gall bladder and see what was going on. Turns out there's two good-sized stones in there. My PA seemed to think they weren't blocking anything and would probably be fine, but she wants me to meet with a surgeon just to make sure. That's all well and good...I can do that. So long as the threat of surgery is not imminent, I can deal.

What took me aback when talking to the PA this morning was the fact that she said you can see in the ultrasound where there are fatty deposits in my liver. That, as you may or may not know, isn't a great thing. The more fatty your liver gets, the more it gets scarred and messed up until you end up with cirrohsis or cancer or any number of other not so fun things. The GOOD news is, it's reversible. I can still turn this train around. I have to be diligent with my diet and I MUST start being more active. Not half-assed more active...I mean, REALLY more active.

I think this was just the kick in the pants I needed. If you've been following Maggie's and my posts on Two Fat Friends, you know that I've probably not been putting as much dedication into the weight loss thing as I could be...but I'm galvanized, now. No more excuses. No more screwing around. I want to live a long, happy life, and not be sick for it. I can do so much better than I've been doing, and now is the time. If I don't do it now, it's going to be too late, and I refuse to let that happen.

a me-me...for you!

2008-05-30T13:50:00.002-04:00

Jenn the Ready-To-Pop Production Maven tagged me, so I shall oblidge!

The rules: Post these at the beginning. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer. Play nice, children.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago? Ten years ago this month, I was worrying about whether I was going to graduate from high school, believe it or not. I had screwed off for...oh...the last 3 years, basically...and I was several credits short as of mid-year my senior year. I had to make up an English class after school 3 days a week AND pull an independant study out of my ass (I taught poetry-writing to 6th graders. Total stroke of genius on my part...easiest thing ever!) to make up the credits I needed. Even then, it was literally down to the wire as to whether I would pass Spanish (which I loved, but never did the homework in) and be able to march with my class. I made it in the end...but this time 10 years ago, I was NOT a happy bunny...*laughs*

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today? Well, one was a doctor's appointment, which I have already been to. It was basically a big fat waste of time, but that's another rant entirely. Also, I have to do some work at some point, I guess. I need to walk the dog when I get home. What am I up to? Three. Hmm. Ok, I wanted to exercise today, and I did that this morning, so that counts. At some point I also need to wash some dishes. There. That was hard.

3. Snacks I enjoy: I love whole wheat crackers (the new All-Bran ones are my current obsession), plain popcorn, nuts, yogurt, pretzels, Cheetos (although I don't have them often...just say no!), and I love cookies of all makes and models, unfortunately...hah!

4. Places I've lived: Fairlee, VT, Thetford, VT, Johnson, VT, Norwich, VT, andddddd...that's actually it, if you can believe it!

5. Things I would do if I were a billionaire: travel, travel, travel. Pay off all my parents' and Mark's parents' bills and buy them nice houses. Buy my Nana something fabulous, although I'm not sure what. Go back to college. Set up a foundation to fund music education in public schools. Help fundraise for local humane socities. Hire a bunch of people to try and figure out how to save the world. Possibly run for President so that I could clean out all the fucking crooks in there now. Have a farm and facility for wildlife rehabilitation.

6. Peeps I want to know more about:

Vermontgirl
Bapple

I can't think of anyone else with a blog right now. It's Friday afternoon...gimme a break! :)

while you wait...

2008-05-21T10:39:00.003-04:00

Hey! While you wait for me to come up with something semi-interesting to post here (it's coming, I promise...things have been hectic lately), why don't you surf on over to my other blog that I just started with my best friend, Maggie: Two Fat Friends . We're attempting to chronicle our weightloss efforts and help motivate each other. We could also both do with whatever outside motivation we can get, I'm sure...;)

blog fodder

2008-04-29T13:03:00.002-04:00

I lifted this from Chaotic Crafter's blog...:) I'm not really in the frame of mind to write a coherent post lately...so you get blog fodder.

1. How old will you be in 3 years?31

2. Do you think you'll be married by then?Yesh!

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 2 months?Mark visiting in July! It's ALMOST 2 months...cut me some slack.

4. Who was the last person you called?myself...I called home to check my messages. There weren't any.

5. Have you ever played a team sport?Yep...played basketball in middle school, even though I usually satthe bench. Also played baseball all through elementary school andmiddle school. Didn't play sports in high school because I was prettysure I wasn't good enough and I wasn't interested in everyone knowingjust how not good I was. I now wish I'd have played softball...but,meh.

6. Who was the last person to text you?no one texts me. I don't have a cell phone! :)

7. Who was the last person you hugged?My Nana on her birthday.

8. What were you doing at midnight last night?probably sleeping, since I don't remember it.

9. Parents separated/divorced/married?still married, through some miracle of the universe....lol They're notalways happy, but they're together, DAMN IT! ;)

10. Last time you saw your dad?yesterday. I drove by and he was working in the yard...I tossed himthe devil horns.

11. What happened at 9:00 a.m. today?work stuff. I was only semi-concious at that point so I can't give youspecifics.

12. How many states have you visited?VT, NH, ME, MA, NY, KY, PA (airport only, but still counts), FL(airport), TX (airport)...I think that's it. That's...9? Sweet!

13. If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?At home, watching a movie with Mark and Buttons.

14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?bare feet. I get grumpy if I have to wear shoes for too long.

15. Are you a social person?social with people I know and like...anti anti anti with people Idon't know. New people skeer me.

16. What was the last thing you drank?water. Lots of it. I'm about due for some more.

17. Favorite ice cream?never met an ice cream I didn't like, honestly. I'm a huge fan of justplain old-skool ice cream sandwiches. Mmm!

18. What is your favorite dessert?I love love tiramisu. Or any type of chocolate cake. The darker anddenser, the better.

19. Whats your favorite color?I'm drawn to anything bright and saturated...and I also love grey. Nota huge fan of teal, though.

20. What Jelly do you put on your PBJ?raspberry is best.

21. Do you like coffee?I don't like it...I LOVE it! And...I need it.

22. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average? I try to get in 2 liters, minimum. Ideally I should be doing 3...butthat's a lot of trips to the bathroom and I can't always make myselfdo it. Drink, that is...not get to the bathroom.

23. What do you drink in the morning?20 oz coffee with milk, then water water water all day long.

24. Would you rather kiss someone with or without a tongue ring?never kissed anyone with one, but I don't think I'd like it.

25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?left if you're standing at the end of the bed. Always have...not surewhy. And I always wake up curled on my right side, right on the veryedge of the bed.

26. Do you know how to play poker?I know texas hold 'em but I have NO talent for it.

27. Whats so good about Fridays?payday, last day of having to work before 2 days off, that's about it...

28. Any plans to visit the green monkeys on GoofyAuctions.com?none whatsoever...

29. Do you eat out or at home more often?home.

30. How big is your TV?I have no clue...27", maybe? It's not big, but it's not tiny.

31. Ever stolen a street sign?not street signs, technically. campaign signs, yes. lawn ornaments, yes.

32. Do you keep a piggy bank?I did until I busted it a few weeks ago, trying to get the plug out ofit. Stupid pig.

34. Have you ever been in an ambulance?thankfully, no.

35. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?pool for swimming in, ocean for looking at / being at / wading in.

36. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?Window when there's stuff to see. Aisle if it's just going to be oceanthe whole time.

38. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?yarn, good food, alcohol, pretty things, stuff for Mark

39. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?engagement ring on my left hand, silver band on my right hand, my "S"necklace.

40. Do you speak any other language?Spanish

41. Can you roll your tongue?yes.

42. Who is the funniest person you know?My mom and dad both can be pretty funny when they want to be.

43. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?no. I used to have a Cookie Monster that played music that I sleptwith from when I was a baby until it literally fell to pieces when Iwas like 12 or 13. That was a sad, sad day...*sniff*

44. What is the main ring tone on your phone?don't have a cell phone. My house phone just rings...like a normalphone. Wouldn't it be cool if they made landline phones you couldprogram with ring tones, though?! ROCK!

45. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?No. I have my blankie, still...that's it.

46. What is the color of your bedroom wall?wood colored. My whole house is barn boards.

47. Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth?Yes...although I never even thought about that until just now!

48. Are you crushing on someone right now?No...I have a fiance...I think I can finally be out of crush mode for good...

49. Do you currently hate someone?Nah. Life's too short.

50. Why do you take surveys?Because sometimes I'm JUST THAT BORED.

drama, drama, everywhere!

2008-04-09T12:45:00.001-04:00

What is it about the last few weeks?! Have you noticed that everything has been like drama-central lately?! Or is it just me and all the people in my general vicinity? It's amazing. There are people in bad relationships having guns waved at them, people going VERY MUCH bonkers in front of little kids, unfortunate examples of the "what goes around comes around" principle catching up to people, people who can't just say NO to other people and end up getting dragged through all kinds of mud because of it, computer systems breaking / not functioning correctly and sending everyone into a tizzy, and of course, the clincher:

I haven't been able to knit hardly at all lately because my shoulder / arm on my left side is all screwed up. Of course, given my issues and my propensity to think that I'm about to drop dead of something (anything?!) at any given moment, I took the left arm pain & weakness to be obvious signs of a heart attack. I mean, of course it would be! Because I'm 28 years old and mostly pretty healthy, aside from being too fat. So I went to the doctor yesterday, she poked me all over, told me it's all muscular, and is sending me to physical therapy. Crisis averted, as usual. The up-side is that while I didn't get any fun prescriptions like Flexaril or anything, she said there's a good chance the physical therapist will prescribe some massage sessions. Woo hoo! Insurance-covered massage! Well, my not being in any danger of croaking is good too, I guess.

Add to all these scenarios the fact that the MDC (Mouse Death Count - for those new to my blog: I live in an old barn and have a seasonal issue of being over-run with mice. I can't figure out where they get in, so the humane traps unfortunately don't do me any good. I have to use snap traps, and it breaks my heart. Seriously.) is up to 7 just this week alone...and yeah. It's been a long week already, and it's only Wednesday!

lies

2008-04-02T13:43:00.001-04:00

I'm supposed to be able to get a free credit report / see my score for free online from the "big 3" - TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax, once a year. It's a law. So how come they all want my credit card information in order to give me this "free" information? And why do I then have to watch my bank account like a hawk for months to make sure I don't keep getting charged for "credit monitoring" services from the site I have to go through to get the "free" reports to begin with? I've got one that charges me $9.99 a month for this service. I have called them, I have emailed them, I have asked the bank to deny the charges...but they just keep hitting my card. It's not like it's a service that doesn't exist...I can get on their website, log in, and see credit alerts and whatever...but my point is that I never asked for it and I don't want it, and they won't let me cancel. It's frigging annoying.

You know what else annoys me? The weather. 60 degrees yesterday. Howling tundra winds of icy pain today. This has been the longest winter ever and I am SO ready for it to be over.

I opened a savings account last week. I'm having $25 per paycheck dumped into it automatically. My hope is that I'll forget about it. It's an online account (INGdirect.com) with a really good interest rate. I'd highly recommend this bank if you're interested in setting up a savings account. It was quick and super-easy in addition to having the great interest rate. If I was more in tune with my finances, I'd have my whole checking account balance transferred into the account to make the interest off it, and just transfer money out for payments as necessary. That's not something I can currently handle, though.

I haven't been knitting much lately, mostly because a friend of mine got me hooked on Lost. She lent me the first 2 seasons on DVD and I can't stop watching it. It's insane. I love it and I can't stand to be without it. I never thought a TV show would do this to me...but it has. Also, on the knitting front, I've basically had to re-learn everything because it was pointed out to me that I was doing everything ass-backwards. That's been fun...not. My way was actually mostly fine...just sometimes my decreases came out looking different than everyone else's. But...since I eventually want to be able to knit lace, I suppose it's best to re-learn things the right way now.

The weather and general goings-on at both jobs have kind of got me grumpy / fed up this week. A lack of proper sleep hasn't been helping, either. I have mice in my house and I've been trying to be humane and catch the mice in little hav-a-heart type traps so I can release them far away from home. Trouble is, the mice get in the traps shortly after I go to bed, and then spend all night scuffing and bumping around in them, trying to get out...and I can hear it because my house isn't very big. It's either a) get up in the middle of the night, get dressed, hike across a field in the snow and cold and release a mouse, or b) wait till morning and do it when I'm walking the dog. I vote for B...hence the noise of the mouse keeping me up all fricking night long. I'm going to enact a new plan this weekend, though. I'm going to get a little plastic box and put some shavings in it. Then, when the mouse gets into the trap at stupid-o-clock at night, I'll just go downstairs, empty the mouse from the trap into the plastic mouse holding-pen, and go back to bed. No noise, no dead mice, and no hiking across the field in the middle of the night. Everybody wins!

funny

2008-03-28T16:58:00.001-04:00

It's funny how our brain compartmentalizes things. Past traumas, even random junk we don't necessarily "need" anymore. That stuff doesn't actually go away...it just sort of gets compressed and stuffed away somewhere...and sometimes an event, a thought, something will trigger the memory of said past stuff and it will all come flooding back.

I don't consider myself a very good writer, at least in a blogging sense. I can write well when I'm telling stories from my imagination, but not so much with putting actual events down in a compelling, interesting, or even entertaining way. I was reading through some old posts this afternoon, mostly for lack of anything better to do, and I came upon the post I wrote the afternoon that my mom had a stroke. Except...at the time, I didn't know that's what was going on. I only knew that no one was telling me anything. The post I wrote that day, to anyone else, is probably just another pile of rambling rubbish and grammatical atrocities...but to me, it was a snapshot. It instantly ripped me back to that afternoon almost 2 years ago.

I didn't even actual realize as I read it that it was nearly 2 years to the day since it had happened. It seems like it was eons ago, now...and yet, to read that post, it was all I could do not to freak right out again. I was back there at my old job, waiting for a phone call. I was in the hospital room, watching the specialist do an ultrasound on the arteries in the back of mom's neck. I was standing in the hallway next to the bed where my mom was getting sick in a spare bedpan, waiting to have the nurse wheel her in to the MRI. I was crouched next to a payphone in the waiting room in the ED, trying to keep it together when I heard Mark's voice answering the phone, and not entirely succeeding. I was going home with my dad that first night and seeing him just sit, dazed and exhausted on the couch with a dog on each knee, for once not able to tell me that everything was going to be alright.

These are things I hadn't thought about in months. Even when my mom was in the hospital this past summer (which, honestly, was actually more traumatic...for everyone), none of the past experiences of those terrible few days ever really bubbled up at the time. I think I just had it all so nicely and neatly folded and put away somewhere safe that it never even registered with me until I read that post this afternoon.

Sorry to have been away so long, and I also apologize for starting the weekend with what could well be a "downer" for some. I hope to be back soon with something a little lighter.

finish line

2008-01-31T12:41:00.000-05:00

Well...I finished my monsterous Clapotis last night. Pictures of the final product are coming...but let me just say...it's enormous. The pattern calls for worsted weight yarn, and that's what I knit it in. I kept thinking as I was knitting along that it was going to be quite a head-swallowing scarf, but I was too far in and had gone through too much trouble securing more of the yarn I picked to back out at that point. When I finished it, I shook it out and wrapped it around my neck. No way. I have what I think are average-to-wide shoulders and a normal-length neck, and the thing seriously wanted to swallow my whole head. It looks absolutely lovely worn as a shawl / stole, though...so all is definitely not lost. I definitely enjoyed the pattern, even though it was starting to seem really endless about 3/4 of the way through. I want to try another one eventually in a fingering-weight yarn...I think it would make the width and weight of the finished product much more scarf-like. I think even sport-weight would really make it too huge for scarfiness...but that's just me. Anyway...the Gedifra Fashion Trend Stripe yarn (wool / acrylic blend) is very soft and cuddly, and the self-striping looks fantastic. There were no knots in any of the balls I had, and it's pretty easy on the hands to knit with. The only thing that I didn't like is that it didn't have a whole lot of twist to it, so when I went to unravel a ladder from a purposely-dropped stitch, it tended to get kind of tangled up in itself and was fussy to un-do. The softness of the finished product is worth the extra work though, I think.

Also - I now feel it's safe to post pictures of the SSP (Super Secret Project). As you will recall, this is a scarf that Mark asked me to make for his friend Neil to commemorate the last match of a card game that they play (Raw Deal - it's a CCG, if that means anything to you).

I went through a big process with designing the One Last Match logo. I tried it 4-5 different ways before I hit on the final product, which I really like a lot.

The other logo, I did free-hand from a T-shirt that Mark had with the logo printed on it. It's Neil's logo from his website, so don't worry...I shouldn't get sued.

I charted both logos out by hand on graph paper because I couldn't find a free version of charting software that I could be arsed to figure out...*laughs* Plus, I like scribbling and sketching things out...it shows the evolution of how something comes to be. The scarf is knit out of black Lion Brand Wool-Ease and white Vanna's Choice. I HATE VANNA'S CHOICE!! It's the most plasticy-feeling excuse for a yarn I've ever used and I'll never use it again. Sorry, Vanna. Maybe it works better for you than it did for me.

Also, is this technically intarsia? I didn't break the yarn...I just followed the chart forward on the knit rows and backwards on the purl ones (that wasn't exactly what I'd call fun...but what can ya do, right?), and when each logo was done I weaved in the ends. The back of the piece was a little messy. I neatened it up as best I could, but if I had it to do over again I'd design it so that the ends doubled back and covered up the back sides of the color work parts.

tundra rage

2008-01-23T12:03:00.001-05:00

Look, I know everyone else is probably as sick of the cold as I am...I get that. But I'm going to bitch about it anyway, because I can. I am SO over this not-getting-above-20-degrees shit. Honestly. I think it wouldn't be so bad if we hadn't had that really warm period back a couple weeks ago. It was downright spring-ish there for a few days, and man I was LOVING it. Now we're back to howling wind, leaving the faucets running at night so the pipes don't freeze, and living bag-of-pellets to bag-of-pellets. And the end is nowhere in SIGHT! Ugh! Stick a fork in me.

Aside from hunching next to the stove and complaining bitterly, I've been knitting a lot. I finished the Special Secret Project that is going into the mail today. I can't post any pictures up until after Feb 2nd, as that's when it will be given to the recipient (lucky, lucky chap that he is). I tried something new on it, though. I had been reading on Wendy's blog about blocking knitted pieces with a steam iron. Specifically, she had been saying she did it on color work and it worked really well to get out all the lumps and bumps. My SSP was sort of lumpy and bumpy, so I gave it a whirl. I filled up the iron with water, put it on the lowest-temperature steaming setting it had, and I went to town. At first, I was just hovering the iron over the piece and hitting the steam button repeatedly. That worked ok...but then I decided to try just lightly running the iron on the actual piece...and WHA-BAM! Perfectly perfect perfection! I was really happy with the result. The piece had been curling in on itself a lot and would have required some pretty aggressive wet-blocking to correct that...but the iron was way quicker, easier, and actually fun! Where as crawling around on hands and knees pinning stuff down on the floor is not so fun to me, personally. So...yes. I will be trying the steam / iron blocking again the next time it's applicable.

With the SSP being done, I've gone back to plugging away at Clapotis. I don't think I mentioned it on here, but I found a lovely chick on Ravelry who had a bunch of the exact color of Gedifra stripe that I needed. I have way too much now, actually...but that's just fine. I'll figure out something to do with the rest. Possibly a baby sweater and hat set...for new babies that are on the way to various sets of new parents that I'm friends with...:)

That brings me to the other secret I was talking about last time. My dear bestest one in the whole world, Becky, is preggers. I'm completely overjoyed, myself...but then again I'm not the one feeling like tossing my cookies every morning, either. Hah! She and her husband are actually really excited, too. They had been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for a while. Once they stopped trying with that in mind...well...there you go! Funny how that works, sometimes. Anyway, I'm super excited to have someone so close to me be pregnant, because pregnant women fascinate me. A lot more than actual babies interest me, to be honest. I don't know what that's about...but oh well. I'm super excited to be an auntie!

hey, remember me?!

2008-01-18T15:51:00.000-05:00

Sorry for my extended absence. I've been super busy at work and the whole dark-cold-tundra-all-the-time thing hasn't been doing wonders for my disposition, either. I'm back now, though! With extra added...ummm...knitting! Because that's what I do.

I have the Clapotis still going, and a lacy scarf in a pretty sock yarn I found...but I've been preoccupied the last couple weeks with the SUPER SECRET PROJECT (heretofore known as the SSP) that I'm working on for one of Mark's and my mates. I'm 99% sure he wouldn't come visit my blog anyway, but just to cover that niggling 1% doubt, I'm not going to post details or pictures of the SSP until it's been given to him. Suffice it to say that it has gone through several iterations and I've finally found a design I'm happy with. It is a custom-designed-by-me thing...and trust me, that's not nearly as awe-inspiring as it sounds. I'm happy with it, though...and I hope he will be, too.

Also...happy news on the Stash Enhancement front: I won some yarn from Wendy! I am the eager recipient of a skein of Wollmeise laceweight in "Pfefferminz Prinz", which, if you click through to Wendy's blog and scroll down a bit, you'll see is a gorgeous peacocky greeny-bluey bit of lovliness that I can't wait to do something with. Any suggestions as to what I should try?

Finally, I have one other bit of secrety goodness...but I won't say any more about it until it has been confirmed. Right now, it's just happy being a secret.

you remind me who I am

2007-11-20T16:24:00.000-05:00

Six years ago today, I got an email. I didn't realize it at the time, but that email would change my life. It was an email from a man that has since made me laugh, made me cry, soothed the hurts that life inevitably inflicts, made me look at things from different perspectives, and taught me more about living than I ever imagined possible. He has been patient with me when The Crazy has taken over, and also The Knitting and The Acquisition of Yarn. He's encouraged me when I've felt completely out of my league, he has calmed me down when I've been ready to act rashly (hi, pretty much all the time!), and he has gently brought me down a peg or three when I've needed it. I feel a deep peace when I'm with him. When he's by my side, all is right with the world...or, if not right, then at least surmountable. We can talk for hours about nothing, or say nothing for hours. He doesn't mind that I get lost all the time when driving, and I don't mind that he constantly switches the radio stations when he's the passenger. Well, as long as he stops when I say that I like the song that's on...*grins*

There are a thousand and one ways that he and I complete and complement each other. He is not my opposite but very truly my other half, whether he's 3000 miles away or right here giving me one of his big bear hugs. I thank the stars and all the spirits in the heavens for him every single day. I have adored this man and stood by him through better and through worse, and I will happily continue to do so for as long as he'll have me.

Happy Anniversary, Mark. I love you...plain and simple.

"tenacious" is a nice way of saying "stubborn"

2007-11-19T13:26:00.000-05:00

I had a teacher tell me that once in high school. Coming from her, it was a gentle reminder to ease up because I was being a little too hard-headed about something...but often I think she knew me a lot better than I ever caught on at the time. I am voraciously stubborn when I really want to be. Often to the point of utter ridiculousness...or, as some more perceptive and possibly not as nice people have pointed out, insanity. It is said that the simple definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

That meditation brings us to my weekend's knitting. Unfortunately, I don't yet have pictures because the batteries in the camera finally quit completely on me last night. However, here's the set-up:

A couple weeks ago I went to Webs. I found this yarn...it's Gedifra Fashion Trend Stripe. It's lovely and soft and has a really nice Noro-esque striping pattern to it. I bought 4 balls in a pretty medium blue / light blue / dark grey kind of colorway. There was scads of it on the shelf when I was there. Seriously - at least 4 bags, and there's 10 balls to a bag. I didn't have any clue what I was going to do with it...I just really liked it (you'll find that many of my purchases of yarn start this way). I got the yarn home, and I remembered a mitre-square blanket I'd seen at the LYS several weeks before. I knew full well that I didn't have enough of this yarn for that, but I started fiddling around making squares for it anyway. The mechanics of the squares kept me amused enough that I used 90% of the yarn up doing this before something else inevitably caught my attenion.

The "something else" that caught my attention was Clapotis (damn you, Ravelry! I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship). Why hadn't I ever made a Clapotis? It looked so EASY...and yet, interesting enough knitting that I wouldn't get bored. I printed the pattern off and trundled home from my parents' house, all sound and fury. I considered the stash on the way home. Nothing really suitable...but I was broke and couldn't really make a trip to the LYS. I burst into the house and was on my way over to the stash pile, when the pretty but ill-fated mitre-square blanket caught my eye. Self-striping...soft...worsted-weight...and 4 balls should be more than enough! SOLD!

I spent about an hour frogging and re-winding all the Gedifra. I very enthusiastically cast on for Clapotis, and worked like a dog on it all weekend long. It's a really nice pattern...simple, but just when you're starting to maybe get slightly bored, there's another column of stitches to unzip, like magic! Pretty! Fun! I was highly entertained right up until 11pm Saturday night, when "it" happened.

What is "it", you dare ask?

"It" is the first sneaking and then stunning realization that...you stupid git...there's not enough of this yarn to finish THIS project, either!

Insert defeated wimper here.

The problem is not so much that I have this thing halfway done and I'm almost out of yarn, but that I really, REALLY like it in the yarn that it's in. I don't want to rip it out. I actually want to finish it with the yarn I started it with. Webs doesn't have the blue / grey colorway on their website anymore, though. I could call them...but in a stunning lack of foresight early on, I threw away the ball bands as I was using the yarn, so I don't know what the actual colorway name / number is, either.

Insert long line of swearing and obscenities, ending with another defeated wimper.

I really love...

2007-11-09T15:47:00.000-05:00

...this sweater: http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEfall07/PATToblique.html

But dare I? That's a hell of a lot of yarn to buy, only to then possibly give up and/or just not finish.

It's so cute, though...and it's exactly what I want in a sweater for work. Cozy and comfy, but not sloppy (like most of the rest of my clothes...lol).

What do you think? In a nice soft light heathery grey?

bad juju

2007-11-08T11:40:00.001-05:00

Wow, remember when I used to post here more than once every 3 weeks? Sheesh.

Let's see...what have you missed?

I finished a sock and promptly went on to another project entirely...but it's OK! Because you see, I did this once before, so I have another mateless sock...and I am the type of gal who doesn't mind wearing mis-matched socks...so voila! Finished pair of socks. Kind of. *grins*

I started a mitre-square blanket with only a rough approximation of a pattern in my head, with yarn that I have nowhere near enough of (because, you know, I don't know better), and so far it looks really good. That means I'll promptly be setting it aside in favor of something shiny and new soon. Because that's what I do. And lest you think me inconsistent, the lack of attention span I display whilst knitting does indeed carry over to many other areas of my life.

Mark's Nanna got quite ill the day after I put a package in the mail for her. I'm hoping that A) it gets to her in time, and b) that my mailing packages to people is not bad juju for them, as I mailed some other things that same day.

It sleeted here yesterday for about 25 minutes. I thought that was terrible until a customer came in the store last night and talked about how he was working on a roof in Vershire while it snowed over an inch in an hour and a half. Lady Winter, she draws nigh.

I attempted to trim the scruff around Buttons' eyes the other night and ended up giving him an all-over scissors-trim, much to his chargrin. He now looks like Swiss cheese, because I can't seem to control the depth at which I snip with the scissors. I tried to even him out with the clippers after that, but they're so dull that it's not worth the electricity it costs to turn them on. Then I decided that since Buttons and I were both covered in stray dog hair, he should have a bath. I made it up to him by re-authorizing his sleeping on the bed with me. I should have maybe stipulated that he's only allowed half the blankets, pillows, and space, though. It never ceases to amaze me how a 30 lb dog can take up more room and make it harder to sleep than a full-grown Welshman. It boggles the mind.

And now...since it's lunch time and it's not raining out, I'm going outside for a walk.

any time now

2007-10-31T16:23:00.001-04:00

Only 6000 more people to go until I get a Ravelry account!!!

*squeeeeeeee!!*

It was over 15,000 people ahead of me when I first signed up...thus you can somewhat better understand my joy...:)

the book that took over my life

2007-10-18T15:44:00.000-04:00

I'm reading The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch.

I am here to fully admit to one and all that it has taken over my life.

The book came to me via Mark, as most of the good and great books that I've read in the past 6-odd years have. He ranted and raved about it when he was reading it himself, so I was expecting to get my hands on it at some point. He brought it with him when he was here and left it for me. We also bought some other books at Borders while he was here (because no visit of his is complete without a Borders shopping spree. Part of his endless charm.) and I had started on those as soon as I got them, so I was trying to finish them up before I started Lies. Finally, I was faced with a night at work with no knitting, so I took Lies along, figuring I'd give it a try and then go back to my other book-in-progress in a day or two.

I have not knit since I started this book. That should tell you something right there. I haven't gotten back to my other book. I haven't washed the dishes. I haven't watched any television at all. I've eaten, slept and drank The Lies of Locke Lamora. I have picked it up as soon as the dog is walked, fed and content every night, and I have had to FORCE myself to put it down at 11:30 or midnight every night because I know that if I don't sleep, I'll be in big trouble. Last night I got to a part that was so intense that I couldn't sleep once I had put it down, anyway. This morning, I seriously considered calling in sick so that I could stay home and read more.

I'm about 3/5 of the way through the book at this point. I want to read and read and read and yet, I REALLY don't want it to be over. Thankfully, there's a second book. Mark says it's just as good. There's also a third book coming out next year, as well as a movie, apparently. I think I might be one of those rabid fans of a book that has nothing good to say about the subsequent movie...but we'll see.

Must...go home...and read...before second job...*twitches*

Oct 24th, 2009

2007-10-08T13:05:00.000-04:00

Mark is gone again. Two weeks sounds like such a long time but feels so increadibly short, especially when I know that I'm not going to see him again until January. It was a long ride home from Boston on Friday night without him...and I have to admit that I killed the better part of a bottle of wine before I could get to sleep once I was home. He left things behind this time...which is nice in a way, because parts of him (not bodily parts, don't worry) are here all the time now...but it's harder in a way, too. It reminds me even more of exactly who I'm missing. Ah, well...the sad-sack mood will wear off eventually. January's not really as far away as it sounds. Neither is Christmas...which is frightening, because I have no money...but that's usually the case anyway.

We finally picked a date - Oct 24th, 2009. Please mark your calendars. We would love to get married sooner, but money-wise it just isn't feasible right now. I had a hard time coming to grips with that but now that we've talked about it, I can see how it will be a lot less stress to work on the immigration paperwork this winter and then start actually planning / paying for wedding stuff next summer/fall, rather than trying to do it all at once. It's going to cost upwards of $1000 just to file the paperwork Mark needs for the K-1 visa. Blergh.

Also...I picked out (and Mark bought) an engagement ring last weekend. It's a silver band with an opal in a kind of swirly setting...it's hard to explain, but it's pretty. It was inexpensive...it cost more to send it out to get sized than the ring itself did. We got it at Cloverleaf in White River Jct. I was not overly impressed with their customer service to begin with...and then when the ring came back from getting sized and I noticed the band was all discolored (presumably from them heating it up to size it), I was even less impressed. I'm not going to take it back and complain because a) it's the ring we picked out and I don't want a different one, and b) I know that the lady who runs Cloverleaf is notoriously not nice. Instead, I'm going to take it to a local jeweler and see if he can polish the silver back up to its normal shine or refinish the messed up parts or something.

Oh, I almost forgot: Mark is trying to get picked to be on Deal or No Deal (in the UK)! We figure if he can get on there and win even just a couple grand, we could pay off some stuff and get married sooner. Then again, if he won a lot, we could have a really swish wedding at somewhere ridiculous like Fenway or something. Anyway, if you feel like nominating him, here is the link.

http://www.channel4.com/money/ontv/deal_or_no_deal/christmas.html

All nominations have to be in by midnight on the 12th to count.

stuff I learned on my trip to Logan Airport

2007-09-25T16:57:00.000-04:00

- if you're headed for the tunnel and the sign above the lane you're in is PURPLE...and you don't have an EZ-Pass...you're fucked. You will have to back up in the middle of Boston traffic and switch to a cash-only lane. You will look very foolish, and you might also possibly get killed.

- it costs $6.00 AN HOUR to park in the main Terminal E parking lot.

- DO NOT lose the ticket that the little machine at the entrance to the parking lot gives you, or you will get charged an additional $5.00 for a "lost ticket surcharge" ON TOP of the completely insane $6.00 AN HOUR parking rate. $6.00 an hour!! Inconceivable.

- If you miss the turn into the parking lot multiple times and you keep circling around and around the terminal, tense-looking men with badges will start to take notice about the 3rd pass by.

- In Massachusetts, what we in NH / VT know as the "break-down lane" is actually fair game for driving. People will pass you on the right, in the breakdown lane, going 75 mph, and glare at you for doing 70 in the "slow" lane. I'm sorry...here I was thinking I was OBSERVING THE SPEED LIMIT!! Silly silly me.

- Most people hanging out in the waiting area of Terminal E do not want to be friends with you. Even if they have something in common, like knitting...or a foreign fiance.

- Similarly, people in airports don't take kindly to you smiling at / talking to / entertaining their children. It doesn't matter that THEY don't want to pay one iota of attention to the kid and therefore the kid is running around screaming / singing / asking about what you're knitting. Do not pay the child any attention or you will be the subject of cold glares and the eventual picking up and moving of said child / children.

- When in line at Hudson News with a soda and a pack of crackers, you must yield to any and all airport employees that come through. They go first, regardless of how many of them there are and how long you may have been waiting in line beforehand.