We're Late For Class

#32 Trippin' In A Plymouth Belvedere

2008-09-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

#32 in a series. Various tracks from various sessions we've been endlessly mixing and remixing with no actual goal in mind. The title track is a true story about a hitchhiking incident involving a Plymouth Belvedere driven by two, off-work day strippers. Embellishments will likely make future versions of the story more potent. It's an outtake from our Science Sessions (#21). "The Lumbering Rex (Remix)" is from Nov. 2007 and "Sanctified" is a ranting guitar workout from our unfinished War Of The Worlds Sessions. We can already tell this crap won't fit the theme... and it probably won't fit here, either. Another 20 minutes of made-up stuff we'll never do again. CRANK THE MP3 PLAYER VOLUME & listen below.

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#32 Trippin' In A Plymouth Belvedere
(Session outtakes - 09.14-16.07, 11.17.07 & 06.13-14.08)

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Trippin' In A Plymouth Belvedere (10:25)
(w/ College Sweater Breach & The Misplaced Prelude)
The Lumbering Rex (Remix) (5:05)
Sanctified (4:40)

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#31 Transmissions Vol. 2: The LSD Sessions

2008-08-10T00:43:00.000-07:00

More random transmissions from the void, this one with a theme... The LSD Sessions, though, we're not saying why. We will say that we thought each of these improvisational jams were about 30 minutes long. For optimum enjoyment, we're advising drug use, though local authorities may frown on the practice. From April 18, 2008. Remember to turn up the volume on the MP3 player.

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#31 Transmissions Vol. 2: The LSD Sessions
(4.18.08)

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67 (4:23)
Closing Ceremonies (At The Beastie Boys' House) (5:27)
Buttery Hog Mosh (8:49)

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#30 The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes

2008-07-06T23:16:00.000-07:00

We're not sure how the idea hatched but we know the concept doesn't need much of a set up... it's a live space improvisation during a Jim Morrison seance. Why not!? It's cheaper than a living singer (classified ads, lodging, alcohol) and besides... you know how lead singers are to deal with. Since Bono isn't dead yet, we thought, who better than poet/philosopher/comedian Jim Morrison? And so you don't think this is just something we slapped together with old recordings and ProTools, listen for yourself as the engineer asks Jim for the "post-death stuff... the stuff without copyrights." For those that don't buy the premise, we've included a bonus, 14-minute instrumental mix (minus Jim) from when it was called "Message From Fornax" for a few hours. In the end, Jimbo was fun, even if he did sound like he was drunk in Paris. It went smoother than our Screamin' Jay Hawkins seance, anyway. CRANK THE VOLUME of the MP3 player and listen to it all. Recorded March 15-16, 2008.

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#30 The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes
(3.15-16.8)

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The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes (13:57)
Message From Fornax (Pre-JMST Instrumental) (14:02)

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#29 Bob Can Hear Us

2008-06-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, see what you think of this one. A 22:44 live space dirge dedicated to our long-suffering neighbor, Bob. It could be worse. This improv was originally over 40 minutes long. Recorded Mar 15-16, 2008, along with The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes (above). Remember to crank the MP3 player UP!

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#29 Bob Can Hear Us
(3.15-16.8)

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Bob Can Hear Us (22:44)

#28 Transmissions Vol. 1

2008-06-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

The first in a series, probably. "Sequel To The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet" started out as a nod to side four of Frank Zappa's Freak Out, but halfway through the 11 minutes turned into a Hawkwind jam. We didn't expect that. So, we went full bore Hawkwind on "Wind Of The Hawk." The inspiration being us previously being accidentally inspired to sound like Hawkwind. Seemed like a good enough excuse. Speaking of Zappa, that's actually Frank excusing himself to take a piss at the beginning of "Glenn Miller's Luggage Is Missing, Too." It's a never before heard snippet we managed to acquire (don't ask how), making this a "must have" for Frank Zappa collectors out there. Yet another Creative Accountants idea for expanding our fan base. The song itself (with overdubbed vocals) is a spoof of Andy Mackay's similarly named tune from his 70s' rock opera, Rock Follies, with an unlikely musical debt to an old Mothers of Invention tune. Remember to CRANK the MP3 player's volume. Yet another 20 minutes of pointless improvisation from March 8-9, 2008. Except * recorded March 15-16, 2008.

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#28 Transmissions Vol. 1
(3.8-9.8)

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Sequel To The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet (11:00)
Wind Of The Hawk (4:20)
Glenn Miller's Luggage Is Missing, Too* (5:31)

#27 Caravan Psoriasis

2008-06-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

We'd never heard of anyone doing a rock opera before (that's, Iraq opera), so here's one. It's a coming-of-age story about a boy named Thommi, who is drawn to experience the big city by a pirate radio broadcast of a Muhammad Ali fight ("Ali Ali"). Thommi sets off (against the wishes of his well-to-do parents) and enters the desert in search of, well... a plot. Pretty much his only source of wisdom and guidance is the ghost of Carlos Santana. But, since Carlos is still alive, we'll need to wait a while to secure the rights. For "The Grim Ride Home," all the young troupe has for diversion is a book of old German folklore. They hope it's porn, but their Deutsch is a little rusty, if you catch our drift. Like any good iRock opera, the concept of Caravan Psoriasis is vague enough to thematically fit any lingering childhood issues of your own - with a timely, Iraqi twist to help reach a few more consumer demographic groups. Thanks to Professor Wole for the poetry and to JZ for the clip. Crank the MP3 player's volume. 24 minutes of action, reaction & interaction. Recorded Feb. 2, 2008. Here's our latest 8x10 promo photo.

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#27 Caravan Psoriasis
(2.2.8)

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Ali Ali (4:57)
Caravan Psoriasis Pt 1 (4:12)
Caravan Psoriasis Pt 2 (7:48)
The Grim Ride Home (6:56)

#26 Candy Stripers

2008-05-11T14:48:00.000-07:00

The accountants are telling us we need to sex up our act if we're going to "move units." They still don't get it. But in the spirit of cooperation, here's the new, jazzed up, ready to sell out, 2008 We're Late For Class. Spit-shined and open for suggestion. Actually, all we did was get a snappy new cover. Just like Warrant did. New cover, same old shit. Another 20 minutes of random noise making that was made up on the spot, then... went away forever. "Candy Stripers & The 10:50 That Followed" seems kind of self-explanatory, but then, we were there. It's subtitled The Voice Box Sessions. While "Heroine Sheik ('08 My Space Remix)" is a rim job we remodeled from our first release, primed for the so-called '00s crowd. Maybe we're the ones that don't get it. Remember to crank the mp3 player's volume. Recorded & Remixed January 19, 2008.

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#26 Candy Stripers
(1.19.8)

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Candy Stripers & The 10:50 That Followed (14:10)
Heroine Sheik ('08 MySpace Remix) (5:44)

#25 Right Back Where We Began

2008-05-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

"So don't you try to equate liquor to marijuana, mister, not with me. You may be able to sell that jazz to another pothead, but not to somebody who holds some kid's head while he vomits and wretches on a curbstone at 4 in the morning. And when his legs get enough starch into them so he can stand up and empty his pockets, you can bet he'll have a stick or two of marijuana. And you can double your money he'll turn up a sugar cube or a cap or two. So don't you con me with your mind expansion slop. I deal with kids every day. I try to clean up the mess that people like you make out of 'em. I'm the expert here, you're not." - Joe Friday

Dragnet 1967 & 1968 are popular DVDs around here. Sure, the show's outdated drug episodes are good for a sure laugh, but Dragnet was also unafraid to voice the opposition's arguments. As in The Prophet, where a Timothy Leary-type drug guru named Brother William gives it back to Friday & Gannon as good as he gets it. His hippie dreamscape made it into our latest live tape, "And We're Right Back Where We Began," recorded January 12, 2008. We couldn't get this one loud enough, so crank that DivShare player volume. The Meat Beetles are thinking along the same lines. They borrowed our "Humbucker (Short Version)," from #12 John Carpenter's King Heroin, and dubbed some "squiggly noises" & similarly themed source material, calling it "Just Say Know." It's at The MB's blog (and zipped below, too).

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#25 Right Back Where We Began
(1.12.8)

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And We're Right Back Where We Began (6:46)
Just Say Know (2:43) - We're Late For Class/The Meat Beetles

We're Late For Class T-Shirts

2008-04-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

So it's come to this, has it?
Well... we could always use a little extra beer & herb money. But, since we don't sell our music our only option is to whore this spiffy new line of We're Late For Class t-shirts so that (for only a minimal investment) you can tell the world where you stand on the important issue of...
a) herb legalization.
b) free downloading.
c) the evil record industry.
d) stoners in general.

That's right! You pick your beef with the world and we'll be your voice of dissent. Seriously though, you'll be doing us a solid by promoting the band and feeding our vices. We may even give you a shout-out on a future release, just to let you know we put your hard-earned money to good use. We've got a few reasonably priced designs to choose from. PLEASE NOTE: These shirts fit snugly. Size up for a looser fit.

#24 Limited Edition Release

2008-04-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Some accountant guys at school are offering their services to us just to get some real world experience. And, the first thing they advised us to do is get in on the special, limited edition release scam. "A sure money maker," they're telling us, especially when you sit on all the existing copies for backdoor sales and auction sites (just like big record companies do). So, this is Limited Edition Release, our promo single - featuring two self-explanatory, so-called rockers, "Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone" (not to be confused with #15's "Jimmy Miller's Knob Is Missing, Too") and "The Lumbering Rex" - with riffs we hammered repeatedly for an hour just to get 5 consistent minutes. This take was about a half hour in. As you can see... this hard copy promo's spine is stuffed with an atmospheric enhancement stick. By merely igniting it, critics might like what they hear. Of course, if these were actually sent out to media, there'd be trouble. "Free publicity," seems to be the accountants' mantra on the subject of our arrest and prosecution. We're not sure how long it takes for this collectible crap to get valuable, so... until then, you can listen to the contents of Limited Edition Release below and download the digital version for free. Then... watch for the rare, original, collectible discs popping up on Ebay, with a secret code on back to deter rampant counterfeiting. Accountants think of everything (great). Recorded Nov. 17, 2007.

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#24 Limited Edition Release
(11.17.7)

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Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone (6:46)
The Lumbering Rex (4:26)

#23 Musik For Potheads

2008-04-01T19:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you've just got to call it what it is. This is Musik For Potheads. There's no story here. Just our stab at a three minute hit single, "Herd Mentality." We fully expect this to be all over iTunes and Amazon, racking up the ratings and attracting a media "buzz." Of course, once you hear this obnoxious rock stomp w/super fucked guitars, you'll wonder what's in our pipes... and may even be tempted to ask for some. Don't! Instead, check out the hyper-audacity of "Checkers" and the admittedly masturbatory "Transmission #37." It's just like the subheader says, "Live improvisation for your smoking jacketed pleasure." Recorded November 8-9, 2007.

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#23 Musik For Potheads
(11.8-9.7)

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Herd Mentality (3:05)
Checkers (5:42)
Transmission #37 (9:29)

#22 Live In The Theatre of DisBelief

2008-02-24T02:57:00.000-08:00

A couple of us wrote a script for a television show (pretty much on a whim) just to see how hard it would be to knock one out. The title of it was "Live In The Theatre of DisBelief." The premise involved a scientific reconnaissance space vehicle, not unlike Star Trek's (Piccard led) Enterprise, that chanced upon untraceable alien transmissions of music. The music was intoxicatingly magnetic, and would subliminally seduce listeners - despite its sometimes abstract or repulsive sounds. In the story, the crew would listen in their off hours, harmlessly enjoying (or just plain curious about) the unusual sound waves from space. But, was it all harmless? We won't reveal the exciting, climatic, professional, prime-time TV conclusion here. As you might guess... our goal was to attach ourselves to the soundtrack work in any future pitch meetings. So, while waiting for that never to happen, we've taken various stabs at such "space transmissions." This 30 minute plus improvisation is one of them. Recorded July 21, 2007, during sessions that included #12 John Carpenter's King Heroin.

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#22 Live In The Theatre of DisBelief (32:43)
(7.21.07)

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#21 Science

2008-01-20T22:47:00.000-08:00

We actually went into a real studio for this one, and came up with The 'Sup?tet. It's a "defined instrumentation offshoot" that uses pure, psychedelic guitar overload, stripped, simulated jazz/funk arrangements, cheap editing and various found sound tapes. 'Sup? 17 minutes of our Faux Jazz/Buckethead/Tape phase of September 14-16, 2007. It only lasted the one weekend. Just as well, since we couldn't have afforded the horn players. It features our usual shenanigans along with another one of our epic, four-parters, "Science." Our apologies to Mr. Rose. Science features a bevy of raw improv, some slight of hand and was "made with the space age in mind" (from our press release). And, no... we're not a part of any underground internet advertising information game clue promotion. So stop calling the house. Volume matters. Recorded September 14-16, 2007.

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#21 Science
(9.14-16.07)

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Under 30 Second Tribute To Kurt Winter (0:29)
Lab Animal (3:15)
Science (12:30)
I Alphonia's Reply, II Live At The Loft, III Weather Authority, IV The Torture King
Hell For Red Skelton (0:45)

#20 We're Late For Class - A Collection

2008-01-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

A greatest hits? Are you guys kidding? Well... sorta. It's just that with 19 posts of original, improvised music (and a Faust cover), who in their right mind is going to weed through it all to hear what we're up to? Certainly not you! So, for those curious about stoned improvisors who give away their music, here are some of our more tolerable jams. If you don't like this well-sequenced set of drug-induced space hymns, then you'll know to ignore the rest or our shit and get back to downloading the new Fall Out Boy. We didn't have room for our 40 minute psych/dirge excursion, "'Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun' As Played By Vanilla Fudge Imitating Iron Butterfly When Fudge Were Forced To Open For Butterfly At The Fillmore West After In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Went Top Ten." So just click on the title for that. Haight-era bong hits not included. We hope you like it, share it, spread the word and come back for more. Listen to any and all tracks in full or download the entire 75 min collection below (including the nifty, I've-seen-the-future-of-online-music-cover-art, animated .gif).

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#20 A Collection
(2008)

It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl (4:56) #13
Burden Bearers (of Aristocracy) (4:54) #15
(Hand Me That) Revolutionary Coat (5:50) #2
(Another) Summer of Heigel (8:22) #9
Theme To John Carpenter's King Heroin (9:07) #12
Blunt Force Trauma (Unit) (9:42) #14
Fukhausen (Excerpt) (2:22) #3
Tommy Reese's DTs (Relapse) (11:42) #4
A Buoy, 40 Yards Out (8:20) #19
Final Moments of Barry Cowsill (Redux 4) (10:08) #14

#19 What Might This Signify?

2007-12-30T21:35:00.000-08:00

We gotta get a new art department. These 20 minutes of improv jams actually came from our first web release - which we eventually shortened... just so that we could put these up again now. "A Buoy, 40 Yards Out" is a druggy, meandering, endless sort of an offshore wave that would go perfectly with a J and a Miller High Life. While "Tortured Greyhounds" is a Faustian ruckus kick started by audio tapes of, what appeared to be, barking thespian lesbians whose skills seemed appropriate to incorporate. We'll post those original tapes, maybe... later. Recorded August 14, 2006.

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#19 What Might This Signify?
(08.14.06)

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A Buoy, 40 Yards Out (8:20)
Tortured Greyhounds (12:35)

#18 4D Man Sessions (Jazz In Absentia)

2007-12-23T15:06:00.000-08:00

This really wasn't a session. During movie night, we watched the 1959 sci-fi classic 4D Man (with Robert Lansing) and we collectively noticed the stiff but spiffy jazz riffs that punctuated the background music. So, Lonnie copied the DVD and - while the rest of us kept bluntin' to the flick - whipped up some samples from the soundtrack's cheap, hi-hat, jazz drum'n'bass. We did the rest. The animated Bob K., whom you'll soon find took vocal charge of the sessions, was a stoned jazz wordsmith friend of Shelly's. The operative word is stoned... and goes directly to the axiom about being careful who you hand a microphone to. His ramblings are included here as a warning to others who might harbor a similar notion. The music itself is our half-baked take on a "get high and go raw junkie jazz" session. Hence the sub-title, Jazz In Absentia. The plan was to fill this out with more characters and sections, but... we never got around to it. We wasted the time instead on this sleek (but ripped-off) promo photo. Time is relative, they say. Since we doubt we'll come back to this, we're unloading... uh, we mean... uploading it here for your enjoyment. Recorded March 24, 2007.

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#18 4D Man Sessions (Jazz In Absentia)
(03.24.07)

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Take 3 Said... (2:13)
Kluzuski (6:37)
The Squeaky Chair 2 (2:51)

#17 Mickey Mantle Stole My Fuckin' Liver

2007-12-16T22:47:00.000-08:00

We'll tell you up front... there's no excuse for this one. It's obnoxious, unjustified and just mean spirited. That said...

Here's the story of Irish rocker Rory Gallagher, whose life saving liver transplant was sabotaged by baseball legend Mickey Mantle, when lucky #7 was granted a liver (the stored liver Gallagher was trying to pay for) only days after appearing on a national donor list. On these tracks - so toxic you may not make it through to the end - you can hear the genuinely dismayed Gallagher (represented here by a computer vox to avoid lawsuits) begging for funds after he learns, via CNN, about Mantle's special treatment. Phone calls from old pals like Ronnie Wood, ringing from the basement bowling alley of his Surrey home (during league play; The Faces vs. The Small Faces) comes a little too late. "Didn’t you need a liver or spleen or something?," Wood asks... but by then Rory is gone. Killed by Mickey Mantle. By the way... The Small Faces won the tournament after Wood was disqualified for throwing himself down the alley into the pins. "The Wake" is the title track's inevitable conclusion. Recorded sorta, kinda, in a way, almost live on 8.18.07.

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#17 Mickey Mantle Stole My Fuckin' Liver
(8.18.07)

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Fuckin' Mickey Fuckin' Mantle Stole My Fuckin' Liver (5:53)
The Wake (4:18)

#16 The Second Party Tapes

2007-12-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

What if Steppenwolf had explored their hidden jam band? What if they had unleashed - instead of subjugated - the undisciplined madness of guys like Mars Bonfire and Nick St. Nicholas? All drugs and fury, no commercial sense. You could tell Goldie was game. That's what's going on here...

We recently attended The Second Party - a gathering of stoners, drinkers and trippers whose sole aim was to get thoroughly inebriated and spend the night deciphering how everyone's costumes and/or actions related to "The Second." (We missed The First Party last year, but heard plenty about it.) So, beforehand, a bunch of us were thinking of different ideas - from Buzz Aldrin to Second Life to World War II. But then Rudy, already blitzed and ready to party three weeks ahead of time, came up with the idea of Steppenwolf's The Second LP. Perfect! So... instead of trying to dress up as an avatar or a bombed out Dusseldorf, all we needed were a few Nehrus, some shades... and music. Lonnie whipped up some samples from Steppenwolf The Second and then a bunch of us just toked up and jammed as we were hearing them, so it's sort of live. The party, by the way, was a righteous blast. Our favorites included the (nearly) naked girl with the Second Law of Thermodynamics written all over her body (everyone was interested in boning up on thermodynamics all of a sudden), the second of time guy (those Physics majors are a hoot to trip with) and even Jesus (The Second Coming). The very popular Shelly (with a bag of joints) made the rounds as second hand smoke. A good time was had by all. Recorded August 14, 2007.

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#16 The Second Party Tapes
(8.14.07)

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The Second Part 1 (Faster) (3:25)
The Second Part 2 (Hodge Podge) (2:52)
The Second Part 3 (Resurrection) (2:37)
The Second Part 4 (Lost & Found) (3:02)

#15 You're Sitting On The Altimeter

2007-12-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

These tapes come from our May 19th, 2007 session, which also produced #5 Le Garrotte. There's not a lot to say about these particular tapes, produced under the influence of a paralyzing strain of Thailand's finest. For the most part though, this session was a slow groove fest, featuring a number of jams that lingered into the 15-20 minute area. We decided to spare you the excess. We dubbed the beginning of "Burden Bearers (of Aristocracy)," but the rest is all live and all improvised. At one point we conjured up the ghost of producer Jimmy Miller and rode that wave. For listening purposes, if you don't have any paralyzing Thai around the house... Amsterdam Red will suffice. Recorded 5.19.07.

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#15 You're Sitting On The Altimeter
(5.19.07)

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Burden Bearers (of Aristocracy) (4:54)
Jimmy Miller's Knob Is Missing, Too (Trimmed) (5:07)

#14 The Final Moments of Barry Cowsill

2007-11-18T12:32:00.000-08:00

These jams came about during an April, 2007 session from a story we caught regarding Barry Cowsill, the guy from the 60's bubblegum band that was found dead after Hurricane Katrina. We don't want to repeat some of the ideas it spawned, though... one of 'em is here - "Final Moments of Barry Cowsill (Redux 4)." Toke it up & turn it up and the imagery should come pretty easy, what with the helicopters, ticking of precious seconds, crying top shelf cats, hallucinatory ramblings, sad lasts gasps and a big, "almost Chinese" fanfare finale. Whether Barry was actually trapped beneath his fallen piano while the water rose to only an inch above his nose is pure speculation, of course. Our apologies to all offended. Technically it's a "parody," so we can't really be sued over depicting the fictional final moments of a washed-up (no pun intended) celebrity. Before you ask, the digital glitch in the beginning of "Blunt Force Trauma (Unit)" is part of the track. We're claiming that the tune - a mournful eulogy for New Orleans that Barry may have been composing and playing when disaster struck - displays a darker side of BC, the sensitive, forgotten and often dismissed artist (... who just happened to play in a band with his mom). As usual, both tracks are live improv and both we're recorded (along with #4 & #8) July 21-22, 2007.

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#14 The Final Moments of Barry Cowsill
(4.21-22.07)

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Blunt Force Trauma (Unit) (9:42)
Final Moments of Barry Cowsill (Redux 4) (10:08)

#13 Rainy Day Schattenwoelfe

2007-10-14T13:33:00.000-07:00

We're Late For Class
VS. Stolle & Member
So these strange German guys, Stolle & Member, took one of our tracks and overdubbed it (it's called "In The Gallery"). Then they sent us one of their basic tracks (from their 2003 Reuschberg album sessions) and suggested we do the same. So... here it is.

Since the first half of S&M's 20 minute basic track was heavy on atmosphere, we kinda took over the proceedings. During the second half, S&M reigned supreme. Because it was a rainy day outside, we almost turned this into a cover of Faust's "It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl" but wisely decided against that. Although... we then unwisely went ahead and recorded an improvisational cover of the classic Faust song anyway. Since we're sort of hangin' around with Germans now we apparently think it's OK to do that sort of thing. Shelly predicts we won't sell a single copy. We're all inclined to agree. You can hear Stolle & Member's usual madness over at emptyblaukraut, and both of us below. Our parts were recorded last week, October 7, 2007.

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#13 Rainy Day Schattenwoelfe
(10.07.07)

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We're Late For Class VS. Stolle & Member
Schattenwoelfe (in der Kleidung des Schafs) (15:58)
We're Late For Class
It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl (4:56)