Evil Slutopia

We Expect to See This in Next Month's Cosmo

2009-11-29T22:19:00.005-05:00

Allow us to present...the Snuggie Sutra:

Sex is fun. Blankets are a pain in the ass.

You know how it is. You and your lover are in bed, eager to engage in coitus, orgasmic ecstasy easily within reach. But the blankets get tangled. Or tossed aside. She gets cold. He gets shrinkage.

There’s never been a solution to having sex while avoiding a chill. Until the Snuggie.

The Snuggie Sutra is like the Kama Sutra, only with Snuggies. It’s an illustrated guide to sexual positions that are both erotic and warm.

Can't you just imagine this as a Cosmo sex tip? "Snuggle up with him on the couch, and then tell him that you're not wearing anything under your Snuggie. He'll be totally turned on and forget about that yucky football game right away." We're calling it now.

Pre-Cyber Monday Quick Hit: Dot Rebates

2009-11-29T01:24:00.000-05:00

One of our shopaholic friends just sent us a link to this cash back shopping site called Dotrebates.com. She's one of those organized shoppers who clips coupons and compares ads from a dozen different stores to find the best deals on everything, and we're...um, not, so I guess she's trying to get us to shape up.

Basically, you do your online shopping through their site to earn cash back, along with access to coupons and other deals. There's a $5 cash bonus just for signing up, and you can also earn money by referring other people to the site. (Which totally couldn't possibly be our friend's ulterior motive for sending this to us.) They've got a huge variety of stores, with varying amounts that you can earn back from each one - everything from 1-800-Flowers (9% back) to Beauty.com (9%) to Best Deal Magazines (15.4% towards our Cosmo addiction) to Hotels.com (4.5% towards our next ESC travel adventure) to Shopbop.com (4.5%).

We did have to laugh at the fact that the list even includes AshleyMadison.com - get cash back while you have an affair! Cheat on your significant other without going over budget! But if online dating is your thing, minus the infidelity part, they've also got Match.com.

So you might not catch us sitting around clipping coupons anytime soon (more power to those who do, though), but if they're going to make it this easy for us to save money, we just might have to give it a try.

*Thanksgiving weekend bargain-hunting brought to you by Dotrebates.com.

NaBloPoMo

2009-11-28T20:00:00.001-05:00

So in case you hadn't noticed... we're doing it again! NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month... you know, it's like NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, in which participants write a 50,000 word novel between November 1st and 30th) for people with short attention spans!

We committed ourselves to writing at least one blog entry every day for all of November and so far we've been doing pretty well. We only have two days left so hopefully we'll be able to make it all the way through November without missing a day.

And yeah, I guess this blog entry is sort of a cop out... but you know, we didn't say we'd post a quality blog entry every day. We're allowed at least one easy one, right? 29 out of 30 ain't bad, right?

Quick Hit: Sherry & Suzyn Make History

2009-11-27T23:17:00.005-05:00

I had a totally wonderful and perfect Thanksgiving yesterday...except for the fact that I watched three football games, and the team that I was rooting for lost all three. (The Giants/Broncos game especially hurt.) So, to make myself feel better, I thought I'd highlight some cool news from the world of sports broadcasting.

On Wednesday night, New Jersey Devils broadcaster Sherry Ross made history when she became the first female broadcaster to provide play-by-play in English for an entire NHL game.

Ross, who is usually the color commentator on Devils radio broadcasts, took over the play-by-play when fourth-year New Jersey announcer Matt Loughlin took time to be with his family after the passing of his father-in-law. Ross called the game, with former Devils forward Rob Skrlac serving as analyst. [Fanhouse.com]

This comes just a few weeks after Yankees broadcaster Suzyn Waldman made baseball history:

In the beginning, Suzyn Waldman had to endure begrudging players and sexist fans. That's the product of being first.
But Waldman relished the opportunity that Yankees owner George Steinbrenner gave her, hiring her as a television analyst at a time when women simply didn't hold such positions. It was because of Steinbrenner that Waldman was able to climb to the top of a male-dominated field, and because of Steinbrenner that Waldman on Wednesday became the first woman in history to broadcast a World Series game.
"If I live to be 150, I could never thank George Steinbrenner enough," Waldman said.
A fixture in the Yankees' clubhouse for more than two decades, Waldman has worked as a play-by-play woman, an analyst, a host and a reporter, but has never had the privilege of broadcasting a World Series game. In Waldman's fifth year in a position to do so, as an analyst for WCBS radio, the Yankees finally made the World Series again. And so the team's public relations staff took a moment to recognize her during the middle of Wednesday's World Series Game 1.
"It was very important to me, and it meant a lot," Waldman said. "It really meant a lot to me. It's the highest thing you can do in baseball, broadcast a World Series game."[MLB.com]

And all of this history-making is inspiring some young women who are considering careers in broadcasting:

Ross is humbled by the calls and emails in the hours after, declaring that she has paved the way for women to become NHL announcers. "I was told about one young girl who already contacted the NHL and wanted to speak with me. She wants to call play-by-play and now feels she has a chance," said Ross. "That made me feel amazing, like I have made an impact. If this opens some doors, Wednesday night was something the Devils and I and everyone who was involved can be very proud of."

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T06:30:00.000-05:00

We are so grateful for all of our awesome friends, fans, readers and commenters.

Everyone have a very happy Thanksgiving!

PS: Don't forget - it's still Delurking week!! Leave us a comment and let us know you care!

Delurking Week

2009-11-25T21:00:00.001-05:00

So we totally stole this idea from Blue Gal, but we think it's a great idea...

She recently wrote this:

I was on chat with a fellow blogger last night, discussing how it can get really discouraging to be blogging regularly and feel as if you're either (a) shouting into a void or (b) doing this just for vanity's sake. The two are,of course, intricately connected.
It's important that we bloggers and you readers remember on occasion to appreciate EACH OTHER. I can't believe the number of readers I have, people I've NEVER met, you guys are an absolute miracle to me. And I'd like to get to know you BETTER, but I can't if you never comment.
[...] I am just getting to the point where I don't understand why someone would read a blog and either feel afraid of commenting or feel that there is some barrier to doing so. I'm not bitching about it, I truly am grateful and amazed by every hit. But if I'm doing something that stops them from adding their two cents at my own blog, I want to change my behavior and be more welcoming.

She has dubbed this week "Delurking Week". In honor of Thanksgiving tomorrow, we would like to join her in thanking our readers and commenters and encouraging lurkers to come out and say something!

Thank you so much to everyone who reads Evil Slutopia - whether you comment or not, but especially if you do. We are more grateful than words can say. These past three years have been a lot of fun and a lot of hard work, but we wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, maybe for a lucrative book deal with film options... but don't worry we're not selling out just yet.

Please, do consider leaving a comment on one of our blog entries that sparked some sort of opinion or reaction... we would love to hear what you think! Or you can just comment on this blog and say hello! Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Eid al-Adha!

Looking forward to hearing from you!

The War on Thanksgiving?

2009-11-24T23:00:00.001-05:00

We all know how pissy some people get when anyone dares to suggest that there are any holidays in December other than Christmas... but apparently they get even more pissy if you dare to acknowledge that there are holidays in November too!

Apparently Best Buy acknowledged the existence of Muslim people in America by wishing everyone a Happy Eid al-Adha on one of their weekly insert ads. (The date of Eid al-Adha varies every year because the Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar, but this year it happens to fall right around the same time as Thanksgiving.)

We're not sure if this appeared on all of their weekly ads or just those in areas with high Muslim populations, but either way, we think it's great that they're being more inclusive. Unfortunately not everyone feels that way.

The racists and Islamophobes over at Free Republic have suggested that everyone boycott Best Buy, or at least leave a comment on the Best Buy Forums. (Thanks to Wonkette for the scoop.)

One of the recurring themes was the complaint that Best Buy refuses to acknowledge Christmas. This is untrue. It was true a few years ago and their focus is still on "Happy Holidays". But according to a response from a Community Supervisor from Best Buy Corporate:

Best Buy’s customers and employees around the world represent a variety of faiths and denominations. We respect that diversity and choose to greet our customers and employees in ways that reflect their traditions.

We do use the word “holiday” in some of our advertising because it is meant to be inclusive to everyone. However, just as we have in the past, we will also reference specific holidays such as Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa in our weekly ads, store signage and other advertising vehicles.

We encourage our employees to interact with customers naturally and wish them a Merry Christmas or share whatever greeting is appropriate for the holiday they are celebrating.

Since we could never demonstrate the stupidity of the "protestors" any better than they have themselves, here is just a sampling of the ridiculous, ignorant and offensive complaints people have made...

From the Free Republic site:

I will wait and see what stores are celebrating Christmas as Christmas. Hanahka I can understand, anything else and I do not give my store that business. If they are all bowing down and kiss PC’s ass, I’ll just shop online.

Wow! I’m surrounded! There is a Best Buy across one corner of my neighborhood, and a MOSQUE around the other! YIKES!
whoa... Best Buy just lost me as a customer. what’s another $5,000 Christmas customer when you’re pushing a social agenda

After seeing this ad from Best Buy, I’ll be damned if I ever spend another penny there. This is the same store that would NEVER ever in a million trillion years use CHRISTMAS in their advertising.
I would rather stick a very private and important part of my anatomy in a meat grinder than to shop at Best Buy.

And from the Best Buy Forums:

BB has the muslims covered with the "happy eid" but what about the rest of us Americans?

Will you be celebrating all obscure ethnic/religious holidays or just this one? You insult all of the heros and innocent who died 911 by celebrating a holiday of the religion that said to destroy them! This PC crap is going waaaayyyy too far!!!

As a Christian, I am sick of being accused of being a racist, or bigot. We all know how this story ends--BB will decide to pull ALL references to religious holidays AFTER the have posted the ad in the current weekly.
I used to spend a lot of money at Best Buy and planned to do so again this Christmas, but I will no longer spend a nickel with them and will encourage others to do the same. They have some real talent in their marketing department.(sarcasm). Nice move angering the majority of your customer base.
Abraham Lincoln established Thanksgiving as an American national holiday....that's why we celebrate, remember?? There is no other reason for this holiday. Your idiotic recognition of some other religions day is insulting and demeaning to Americans in general. I spend money all the time at your stores. You can forget it from now on. I'll shop somewhere else. Oh, and a reminder....December 25th is a celebration of Christmas....not any other day. Thanks for your grossly ignorant insult to Americans.
We will never be at peace as long as the Muslims keep trying to wipe us out. Give us a break, and stop trying to find ways to k*ll us in our own country. In light of the Fort Hood shooter, Best Buy, bad move, we can shop elsewhere. Hope the Muslims are all you need!!

We did notice a few commenters who were grateful and supportive of the inclusion of Eid. We hate to end things on a downer, so here are a few of the better ones:

As a Muslim and one who stand for what is right. I agree with you in the sense that Best buy should be all inclusive and Holiday greetings should include all faith. As a Muslim, this is the first time my Holiday greeting is mentioned and it makes me feel happy and appreciative. I hope you guys don't ruin it for us Muslim. We are attacked by the media on a daily basis. Let's try to celebrate this great country and accept one another. Happy Thanksgiving.

Iagree Happy Holidays would be the best term to cover all holidays. They took a chance on this one and unfortunately are getting backlash from it. I'm a white American Muslim and proud to call myself that. Although I am a Muslim, I understand the controversies this has caused and it is unfortunate that there are so much hatred out there towards a Religion. Muslims are not just Arabic extremeists and that is something some Amerians will never understand. I would not be offended if I saw Merry Christmas or Happy Hanakah. I realized that my religion is not the
supreme religion and people have their choice of whom or how they worship. Hopefully though these ignorant people (those who do not know any different) will be forgiven by their god for judging other people. Happy Holidays to all.

Cheers and God Bless to Best Buy. This great country was founded on the fact that the people of this nation can freely choose to practice the religion of their choice without the fear of persecution. Best Buys choice to wish a happy holiday to one of the many religions that the American people can practice freely, shows their true American spirit.

I am a Christian and I respect the fact that there are other religions besides the one I follow and choose to embrace the diversity that this country has provided. To the people that refuse to shop at Best Buy for demonstrating their true American nature, maybe you should go live in a country that does not allow its citizens to practice religion freely. Maybe then you will learn just how disrespectful, unpatriotic, and narrow minded you are behaving.

We hope that this holiday season that you do support Best Buy, if only because they made the effort to acknowledge any Muslim holiday, something few companies are ever willing to do. Please also feel free to visit the Best Buy Forums and thank them for being inclusive. Don't let the haters scare them away from doing this again.

Happy Thanksgiving and yes, happy Eid al-Adha.

Related Posts:

Debunking the AFA's Christmas Boycott

2009-11-23T23:21:00.004-05:00

When the American Family Association singled out the Gap as a company that 'says no to Christmas' in an action alert a few weeks ago, I knew it was only the beginning. And sure enough, about a month later the AFA announced a two month boycott of Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic due to "the company’s censorship of the word 'Christmas.'"

For years, Gap has refused to use the word Christmas in its television commercials, newspaper ads and in-store promotions, despite tens of thousands of consumer requests to recognize Christmas and in spite of repeated requests from AFA to do the same.

Last year, Gap issued this politically-correct statement to Christmas shoppers: "Gap recognizes that many traditions are celebrated throughout this season and we feel it is important to display holiday signage that is inclusive to everyone."

Christmas is special because of Jesus. It's not just a "winter holiday." For millions of Americans the giving and receiving of gifts is in honor of the One who gave Himself. For the Gap to pretend that isn't the foundation of the Christmas season is political correctness at best and religious bigotry at worst.

The Gap is censoring the word Christmas, pure and simple. Yet the company wants all the people who celebrate Christmas to do their shopping at its stores? Until Gap proves it recognizes Christmas by using it in their newspaper, radio, television advertising or in-store signage, the boycott will be promoted.

Since I obviously totally trust the AFA's judgment when it comes to "culture war" issues like this, you can imagine my surprise when I recently saw a holiday commercial for Gap that did mention Christmas, along with several other winter holidays. Think Progress picked up on this as well, and shared my confusion:

AFA’s first shot in the war is a misfire, as Dan Neil of the LA Times points out today. In one of the first lines of Gap’s new holiday ad, the actors yell, “Go Christmas!” (as well as “Go Hanukkah! Go Kwanzaa! Go Solstice!”) Watch it:

ThinkProgress also checked out the websites of Gap, Banana Republic, and Old Navy and quickly found several items that feature Christmas items including several Christmas books, a pair of boxer shorts that says “Christmas” in several languages and pajama pants that also have “Christmas” written on them.

It took the AFA a few days to respond to this ad that seems to eliminate the foundation for their boycott, but they managed to find a way to spin the situation to their advantage. They're acknowledging the commercial but claiming that it's just not good enough.

Gap responds - Should the boycott end or not? You decide
Gap has responded to AFA's call for a Christmas boycott of their Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic stores with a commercial that takes a cavalier approach towards Christmas.
The video entitled Ready for Holiday Cheer features a group of people dancing and chanting:

Two, Four, Six, Eight, now's the time to liberate
Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, Go Kwanza, Go Solstice.
Go classic tree, go plastic tree, go plant a tree, go add a tree,
You 86 the rules, you do what feels just right.
Happy do whatever you wanukkah, and to all a cheery night.

Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, go whatever holiday you wanukkah.

Did you notice it? Gap compares Christmas to the pagan holiday called "Solstice." Solstice is celebrated by Wiccans who practice witchcraft!

Gap also encourages you to "86" or "dismiss" traditions and "do what feels just right."

First off, I really had to laugh at their attempt to claim that this commercial is in any way a "response" to their fabulous boycotting efforts. Also, I'm glad that they clarified that their issue is with Wiccans who practice witchcraft, as opposed to, say, Wiccans who practice Judaism. Of course, the word solstice isn't always a pagan reference and the term Winter Solstice is often used simply to refer to the start of the season, so the commercial could simply be celebrating the beginning of winter without specifically referencing a pagan holiday, which would mean that the AFA is freaking out over nothing. Although, if you think about it, they're freaking out over nothing either way, since there is nothing wrong or offensive (and plenty that was "borrowed" by early Christians) about the pagan/Wiccan celebration of the solstice, or Yule.

The AFA is currently taking a poll to help them decide whether to end the boycott. The poll is titled "Gap responds with ad disrespecting Christians", clearly to ensure that they don't influence the result in one way or the other. So, if you want to click here and vote yourself, I won't try to stop you.

If this whole Gap boycott does happen to fall through, the AFA will still be able to have a busy boycotting season thanks to their Naughty or Nice Christmas List. They've compiled a list of national retailers and organized them into color-coded categories for easy boycotting.

Criteria - AFA reviewed up to four areas to determine if a company was "Christmas-friendly" in their advertising: print media (newspaper inserts), broadcast media (radio/television), website and/or personal visits to the store. If a company's ad has references to items associated with Christmas (trees, wreaths, lights, etc.), it was considered as an attempt to reach "Christmas" shoppers.

If a company has items associated with Christmas, but did not use the word "Christmas," then the company is considered as censoring "Christmas."

Color Code:

Company uses the term "Christmas" on a regular basis, we consider that company Christmas-friendly.

Company refers to Christmas infrequently, or in a single advertising medium, but not in others.

Company may use "Christmas" sparingly in a single or unique product description, but as a company, does not recognize it.

They also promise that they're going to "continually update the list", and I'm guessing that's because it seems to be about as well-researched as the Gap boycott was. Here's one example - they've listed Victoria's Secret on the red list of anti-Christmas companies. Now, I could understand the AFA not loving Victoria's Secret for other reasons, but they're off base on this one.

Let's start by taking a look at their website:

Check it out, everyone! A whole section of Christmas lingerie. Not Kwanzaa lingerie or Solstice lingerie. And if that's not anti-Christmas enough for you, check out the ridiculous censoring of Christmas happening on this Victoria's Secret publication that I received just a few days ago.

I took a closeup shot too in case anyone couldn't make out that one word right there in the center of the cover.

Or maybe you got this catalogue instead:

So they've got an entire section of Christmas-themed products on their website, which they do use the word Christmas to describe, and they've put out not one but two catalogues with the word Christmas in big letters on the cover of each one, but they're still classified as a company that "may" use the word "sparingly" but "does not recognize" Christmas overall. Based on the fact that this makes no sense at all, I'm forced to ask the burning question...WTF, AFA?

We're going to keep an eye on this Naughty or Nice list as the holiday season continues. If the AFA is going to take the step of calling for some of these companies to be boycotted, we don't think it's too much to ask that they at least get their research right before they do. So, in the spirit of the holidays, we're happy to help them out.

If the New Moon Hype is Making You Want a Vampire Boyfriend...

2009-11-22T22:47:00.005-05:00

...you'll have to make sure that you're prepared to deal with that special time of the month. Good thing there's Vampax!

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

[via re:Cycling, the blog of the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research. And no, we haven't actually seen New Moon, because we haven't figured out how to smuggle all of the booze that we would require into the theater.]

We're Up For Another Blog Award!

2009-11-22T19:55:00.005-05:00

We're especially excited about this one, you guys. Check it out:

Okay, yeah, we're obviously just fucking around this time. Aside from the official blogs of pro-choice organizations like NARAL and Planned Parenthood, Evil Slutopia is probably the last blog that would ever be nominated for this award.

The Pro-Life Blog Awards are a creation of the American Life League, and while we have written about them quite a few times in the past, it wasn't exactly in a way that would inspire them to give us any awards. But one thing I will say for these awards - the prize for the winner is pretty cool (or at least, cool for someone who's actually pro-life):

Most total votes across all categories will receive the Best Overall Pro-Life Blog. The Best Overall winner will receive hotel accommodations for two nights and three days (January 20-22, 2010) in the middle of the action and excitement of the 2010 American Life League Training and Activism Week and Personhood Conference.

At the Washington Court Hotel, located in the heart of Washington, D.C., near the Capitol and Union Station, you'll be a featured guest at American Life League's Personhood Conference only steps away from D.C.'s national treasures and historic sites, you'll be in the very center of the pro-life movement's largest annual demonstration.
The Best Overall winner will be notified by Dec. 21. All Pro-Life Blog Award winners will be officially announced and recognized at the Pro-Life Blog Award Dinner at ALL's Training and Activism Week and Personhood Conference Jan. 20, 2010, amid the nation's top pro-life leaders and pioneers for the personhood of all human beings, from the moment of creation until natural death.

Just for the record, we're not suggesting that anyone nominate us for this award as a joke. We'd be annoyed if any anti-choicers tried that with a pro-choice blog award. But speaking of that, where are the pro-choice and feminist blog awards? We don't really know of any major ones, but maybe we're just out of the loop.

Should we just go ahead and start up our own Evil Slutty Blog Awards? The prize can be...um, you come to New York and we buy you a Corona? Who wouldn't want that, right?

Okay, so this brilliant plan needs a little work. In the meantime, enlighten us in the comments if you know of any feminist/pro-choice/generally awesome blog awards out there. Partly because we want to be able to start calling ourselves an award-winning blog, but also because there's so much great work being done every day by feminist bloggers that really deserves to be recognized whenever possible.

Cosmo's Recycled Sex Tip of the Month

2009-11-21T17:30:00.001-05:00

It's no secret that Cosmo runs the same basic type of sex article every month - it always gets the place of honor in the upper left part of the cover - and they really just change up the numbers. This month it's His #1 Sex Wish, previous months have featured 12 "Bad Girl Sex" moves, 50 Sex Tricks, 125 Sex Moves, and so on. So it's no surprise that they'd eventually have to start repeating themselves a lot, but I was a little surprised to spot one tip in the December issue that looked really familiar.

There's an article in this issue called Sexy Ways to Use a Vibrator With Him. (Of course they don't mention that you could also use one while having sex with a woman, because lesbians don't exist in Cosmo-land.) Here's one of the suggestions:

During oral, hold the side of your vibe against your cheek as you take him in and out. Your wet, quivering mouth will feel unexpected and arousing.

Now where have I heard something like that before? Oh yeah...in the September issue of Cosmo!

Share your girlie toys -- wrap your hands around a vibrator and his shaft as you suck on the head, press a vibe against the base of his penis between his testicles, or place it on the outside of your cheek while you suck on his penis.

Can't they at least space out the recycled tips a little bit more? And we have to admit that we're not entirely convinced about this fabulous tip. It seems like the logistics might be a little tricky - wouldn't maneuvering the vibrator and the penis while your cheek slowly goes numb get a little annoying and uncomfortable after awhile? And how much would it really add to the experience for the guy?

After the whole handjob controversy, we're going to try to be open-minded about this one, even though we have our doubts. But we do think that they should have been more clear about what type of vibrator you should use if you're going to try this one out. There are lots of different types of vibrators out there, and we're thinking that a lot of them would really not work that well in this situation.

For example:

~Some vibrators are really realistic-looking, which could be pretty disorienting for your guy when he looks down and sees it. In the middle of a blowjob, you probably don't want him to get distracted wondering if he somehow grew a second penis or became a really talented contortionist.

~If your vibrator is too powerful, your cheek will stay numb for the next three days.

~Something that's an unusual shape and looks nothing like a "traditional" vibrator might just distract your guy from the job at hand.

~What if all you have to use is one of those discreet vibrators that's disguised as something else, like the lipstick vibe? The ones that are made to look like children's toys would be especially awkward when you're trying to pull off a sexy blowjob trick.

~Just as a general rule, it's probably not a great idea to put something called The Screaming Octopus near your boyfriend's penis. You know, unless he's into that sort of thing.

~And just imagine how sexy it would be for your boyfriend to get an awesome blowjob from you...and Hello Kitty.

Oh Cosmo, what have you done? When you recycle this tip again in a few months, please be more specific.

Good Gay News!

2009-11-20T15:30:00.000-05:00

So the Senate vote on same-sex marriage never happened on November 10th's "special session" like we hoped. But there is some good news for New York State...

Back in May 2008, the office of New York governor David Paterson issued an order stating that same-sex marriages performed in places where gay marriage is legal (like Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, Canada, etc.) must be recognized by state agencies. (Or, as Lil' Lilith once put it: "Even though you can't get married in New York... when you got back to New York, they would have to be okay with it and they would have to believe that you were married.")

Some of you might have known that this order had been challenged by opponents of same-sex marriage. Well, they're shit out of luck for now, because New York State's highest court unanimously rejected their challenge.

Of course, this victory is minor... seeing as it only applies to a small group of people and does not address the greater issue, but a victory is still a victory. Governor Paterson has cited allowing gay couples in New York to be married as one of his top priorities, but so far we still have no idea how (or when!?) that will play out in the State Senate. But hopefully we can consider this one more small step closer to legal same-sex marriage in New York.

Other good gay news: For the first time in our nation's history, same-sex marriage will be debated by the federal courts. High profile lawyers Ted Olson and David Boies are representing two same-sex couples who were denied the right to marry as they challenge Proposition 8's federal constitutionality.

Their suit states:

“This unequal treatment of gays and lesbians denies them the basic liberties and equal protection under the law that are guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment of the United States Constitution...”

Of course, not everyone on the pro-gay marriage side is happy about this. Some believe it is too soon and that the federal issue should be entered more slowly, but at this point it's moot. The case is set to begin trial January 11, 2010 and therefore it needs our support.

Get involved! There is a Facebook event going around that is full of information, as well as a petition to President Obama, asking him to join the federal court challenge by filing a brief in support of the case. For more: UniteTheFight.org

And on a lighter note... another celebrity has come out in support of gay marriage, despite having a relatively large "conservative" fan base. Dolly Parton has joined other country stars Reba McEntire and Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles, and Miley Cyrus (not that she's a country star, but Parton plays her Aunt Dolly on Hannah Montana so I felt it was appropriate to include her here) in publicly supporting gay marriage. Parton joked that gays and lesbians should be able to get married because they "should suffer like the rest of us do".

Slut-Shaming Pop Culture Moment: A 90210 Halloween

2009-11-19T22:00:00.001-05:00

The other day I caught a rerun of an old Halloween episode of Beverly Hills, 90210. I remembered the basic premise - Kelly wears a sexy costume to the big Halloween house party and is almost raped by a creepy guy, but her friends save the day - but I had forgotten just how slut-shamey this episode was. I'm only going to talk about the Kelly storyline, but if you want to really take a walk down cheesy memory lane, the full episode is available on YouTube.

First, there's the scene where the whole gang goes to the costume shop to pick out outfits for the party. Kelly and Donna were supposed to do a group costume with their dates, but the guys blow them off at the last minute, so they need something new. Kelly tries to pressure Donna into a sexy costume, but Donna's not into it so Kelly tries it on herself, and this exchange with Brenda follows:

Brenda: Kelly...don't you think it's a bit much?

Kelly: Brenda, I don't have a date for tonight. If I am going to this party stag, I want to make a splash. [When was the last time you heard someone say they were "going stag"?]

Brenda: Well, you're more likely to start a fire in that thing.

Kelly: Brenda, come on. It's Halloween. It's the one night of the year when we get to dress up and act a little crazy.

Kelly ends up rejecting that first costume for not being Halloweenish enough, but don't worry, she shows up at the party in something even sexier. The reaction when she enters the party is so over the top, it's hilarious. Everyone stares and points and gasps, including her friends. (If you can't watch the video with sound or just don't want to torture yourself that much, just skip ahead to about the 1:30 mark to see Kelly's grand entrance.)

Okay, so is it the most age-appropriate costume I've ever seen on someone who's supposed to be in high school? No, of course not. If a parent or teacher or other adult had flipped out over it, I would have gotten it, but the way her friends and other people her own age at the party reacted, you'd think she had walked in wearing a g-string and pasties.

I also thought it was funny that from the waist up, Donna's costume is plenty revealing too, but since her ridiculous mermaid outfit is being played for laughs (and she's acting awkward and uncomfortable instead of "slutty"), it's apparently not a big deal to anyone.

If you didn't watch the whole thing, Kelly's entrance immediately earns her another lecture from Brenda. The highlights include: "Did your mom see you like this?", "Do you want guys staring at you like that all night long?", and "I'm warning you, you're looking for trouble." Kelly calls Brenda a "goody-goody", says that she thinks she looks great, she just wants to meet guys, and she can wear whatever she wants. She ends by saying that she knows how to take care of herself, which we all know on shows like this is foreshadowing for 'this character is about to be thrown into a situation where she can't take care of herself'.

In case we haven't gotten the message yet, along comes Steve with his opinion:

Steve: Wow. Kelly, you look...

Kelly: Don't I?

Steve: What is this supposed to be? Some kind of gownless evening strap? [Oh Steve, you're so witty.]

Kelly: It's a witch's costume.

Steve: Yeah, well I thought those witches wore those big things, like a cloak.

Kelly: I'm sorry if you have a problem with it.

Steve: I have no problem with it, it just leaves nothing up to the imagination.

Kelly: Steve, with you and me it's all imagination.

Kelly finally gets a break for about five seconds when Brenda overhears her blowing off a sleazy guy and tells her "I guess you do know what you're doing". (Remember that foreshadowing thing? Guess they wanted to make sure we didn't miss it.) Then they review all of the cute guy options at the party and Kelly settles on Cowboy Guy, soon to become Creepy Cowboy Guy. She's determined to get to know him. They do some cringeworthy flirting that I can't bring myself to transcribe and like, OMG, he's totally a college guy! She calls him an obnoxious frat boy and he calls her feisty, so you know it's not love. He wants to throw her over his saddle and ride off into the sunset, but she doesn't "ride on the first date". (Yes, this is the actual dialogue.) They continue to banter; I continue to cringe.

They dance. He can't believe she's into David Letterman because she doesn't "seem like the type". (I have no idea what this means.) She likes to stay up late. He asks if they've met in another life and she says yes, they were ancient Egyptians. (Yes, this is the actual dialogue.) They decide to get something to eat and have a pointless debate about whether she should eat a chicken wing or a quesadilla. (Apparently his insistence on the quesadilla is supposed to be a red flag that he's a potential rapist.) Someone bumps into her and she says, "I wish there was someplace we could go that wasn't so crowded", because it's more than halfway through the episode so they have to get the storyline moving somehow.

Of course he takes her up to a bedroom, and then immediately shuts down her small talk about the house by sitting on the bed and saying that he's not into architecture and wants to know about her history instead. (Smooth.) She starts off with where she was born and raised, as if that's what he's getting at. And that's the problem with this whole thing - in about ten minutes they've taken Kelly from street smart to totally naive just to make the story work. She saw right through the first sleazy guy's attempt to hit on her, and suddenly she's clueless about what Creepy Cowboy's intentions are? I don't really buy it.

So he immediately goes into supercreepy mode, advancing on her while asking if she has a boyfriend or if she's looking for one, and blocking the door when she tries to get him to go back to the party.

Kelly: Look, I don't want to be up here anymore, I want to go back to the party.

Creepy Cowboy: Well I don't think you do.

Kelly: How do you know what I want?

Creepy Cowboy: By your actions. I mean, if you didn't want to be up here, why'd you come?

Kelly: I wanted to be up here, and now I don't, okay?

Creepy Cowboy: I thought we were gonna play make-believe.

Kelly: This isn't the kind of make-believe that I had in mind.

Creepy Cowboy: I'm looking and what you're wearing, and I'm thinking this is exactly the kind of make-believe you have in mind.

Kelly: The answer is no, okay?

But of course it's not okay. Because even though she hasn't so much as kissed this guy and says no to him right away, she was wearing a slutty costume so clearly she was asking for it. For a second he pretends to back off and apologizes, says he respects her, and asks her to forgive him...and then he pins her down on the bed and won't let her up. Have we gotten the message yet, audience? Luckily Brenda and Donna show up and interrupt, and Creepy Cowboy explains that he was "kidding". Yeah, attempted rape is hilarious.

Brenda summons Dylan and Steve, and the Cowboy digs a little deeper by saying, "Hey, we were both into it, and then suddenly she started lying. You guys know what I mean, right?" Steve's response to this is, "How dare you lay a hand on her, I love that girl!" Oh, okay Steve, so would it be cool with you if he just went back to the party and found a girl that you don't love to force himself on?

The guys kick Creepy Cowboy out of the party, and he tries to take one more shot at defending himself. "Guys, you got this all wrong. I mean, when a girl dresses like a slut..." Steve shuts him up by punching him, and I'm okay with that. And now it's back to the bedroom to put the slut-shaming cherry on top of this cautionary tale.

Kelly: I'm such an idiot. I thought I was being all sexy dressing like this, you know? Look where it got me.

Brenda: Kelly, I tried to tell you that the dress was a little too much.

Wow. Really, Brenda? Your best friend is trying to deal with the fact that she was just almost raped, and you can't save the "I told you so" for later?

She does redeem herself a little bit after that horrible start:

Kelly: It wasn't the dress though, it was me, and what I did.

Brenda: Kelly, you said no. He should have listened, period.

Kelly: I should have listened to you. You tried to warn me, you tried to tell me what I was walking into. [Again we see that without Kelly magical sudden onset of cluelessness, this storyline wouldn't have worked.]

Brenda: Kelly, you said no.

Kelly: I said no too late. Might as well have been saying yes, you know? [Um, no actually, I don't know. And it wasn't "too late".] I was trying to act all cool and everything, talking sexy. I was leading him on.

Donna: Well then he should go take a cold shower, or whatever they do. [Oh Donna, we love you. And since Donna's character was actually portrayed as kinda clueless and less experienced with guys, I think a storyline like this centered on her would have been more believable.]

Dylan asks if he can say something, and since he's Dylan McKay and everyone loves him, of course it's okay: "I know the last thing you need right now is another guy telling you what to do or what to think...You're blaming yourself for leading that guy on, but I want you to know, as a guy, it doesn't matter how much of a magnet a girl turns on. A guy always has a choice, of not making her do something she doesn't want to do." At this point Brenda looks over at him, kinda like 'crap, maybe that's what I should have said instead of my weird mixed message about how it wasn't her fault cause she said no but she still shouldn't have worn that slutty dress'. So now she's firmly on board Team No Means No.

Kelly: I didn't make that choice very easy, now did I?

Dylan: Yeah, you did. You said now.

Brenda. And after that, what happened isn't your fault. [That should have been your opener, Brenda.]

I'm not sure how to feel about the end of this conversation.

Kelly: The weird part is that before we came up here he seemed like such a nice guy, you know?

Brenda: Kelly, it doesn't matter if he's cute, or smart, or Prince Charming.

Donna: He was a rapist!

Kelly: Donna, I don't think...

Donna: What the hell else can you call it? Kelly, what would have happened if we hadn't come in here?

I get that they want to make it clear that the Creepy Cowboy wasn't just being creepy, or pushy, or aggressive, or whatever, he was committing a sexual assault. But it's kinda weird that the conversation ends on that note, with Kelly looking more freaked out than ever, instead of on the 'it wasn't your fault' note. It almost seems to bring it back around to 'look what you got yourself into with your slutty behavior, young lady'.

So what's the lesson? That the Creepy Cowboy was a jerk and a rapist...but you wouldn't attract jerky rapists if you didn't wear slutty costumes? Overall, the episode is a mixed bag, because there are good messages mixed in with the bad ones. I think the problem is how many people might watch it and end up summarizing it the way a blogger at examiner.com did:

Things got really scary, though, for Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth), when she was nearly raped by a guy dressed as a cowboy due to her provocative, bewitching costume. Luckily, her friends Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty) and Donna Martin (Tori Spelling) came into the room and called for help.

No. Kelly was nearly raped due to the fact that a sleazy douchebag chose to try to rape her. She was the victim and she wasn't to blame for what happened. And that's a message that we need to hear a lot more often, on TV and in real life.

Have you noticed a slut-shaming pop culture moment recently? Let us know!

Great American Smoke Out!

2009-11-19T16:30:00.000-05:00

Every year, on the third Thursday of November, smokers across the nation take part in the American Cancer Society’s Great American Smokeout® by smoking less or quitting for the day. The event challenges people to stop using tobacco and helps make people aware of the many tools they can use to quit for good.

If you're thinking of quitting today, check out some tips from the ACS website:

Research shows that smokers are most successful in kicking the habit when they have some means of support, such as:

nicotine replacement products
counseling
stop-smoking groups
telephone smoking cessation hotlines
prescription medicine to lessen cravings
guide books
encouragement and support from friends and family members
Using 2 or more of these measures to help you quit works better than using any one of them alone. For example, some people use a prescription medicine along with nicotine replacement. Other people may use as many as 3 or 4 of the other measures listed above.

Telephone stop smoking hotlines are an easy-to-use resource. And as of 2008, they are available in all 50 states. Call 1-800-ACS-2345 (1-800-227-2345) to find telephone counseling or other support in your area.

Support is out there, but the most recent information suggests that fewer than 1 in 4 smokers reports having tried any of the recommended therapies during his or her last quit attempt.

November is also Lung Cancer Awareness Month (as if you needed another reminder why you should quit smoking). If you don't think you're up for it today - don't worry about it! Today is a symbolic day, but you can quit any day. You just need to make the commitment to do so. Take the Great American Health Challenge and plan your "quit day"... Improve your health and increase your life span... and those of the people around you.

Good luck!

I'm writing it!

2009-11-18T17:58:00.002-05:00

So I'm sure some of you saw my 9-year-old daughter's guest blog about those stupid sexist Swiffer commercials. It has been getting a pretty good response on other sites, as well as in our own comments section, so I was sure to let her read all the positive feedback she received. She is very proud, as am I obviously.

(There is, of course, the occasional idiot who just doesn't get it, but I didn't show her that one. I wouldn't want her to catch on that I'm secretly brainwashing her to be afraid of stalkers and cleaning supplies. Hm.)

Well now I'm afraid it may have all gone to her head!

We were listening to music together and that annoying Avril Lavigne song Girlfriend came on. So we started joking around, making fun of it, and singing our own fake lyrics (like we usually do, because we are quite silly). At one point I sang "Hey hey, you you, I really like your girlfriend... I think she needs to dump you... I could make her my girlfriend" or something close to that. She started laughing and said that Avril should rewrite the song to that.

The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Lil' Lilith: But a boy would probably have to sing it.
Mama Lilith: Oh yeah?
Lil' Lilith: Well, no... it wouldn't have to be a boy, it could be a boy or a girl. But some people probably wouldn't like it if it was a girl.
Mama Lilith: Why not?
Lil' Lilith: The stupid people would get all upset and say it's bad and it's wrong and they would complain and you would have to put something about it on the blog...
Mama Lilith: You're right, that probably would happen. Something like that happened to Katy Perry because of her song "I Kissed a Girl".
Lil' Lilith: Yeah, and if that happens, I call it! I'm writing it!
Mama Lilith: Oh you're writing it, huh?
Lil' Lilith: Well, unless Jezebel beats me to it. But I call it. I'm so writing that one.

Yep. One guest blog and she has already called dibs on the hypothetical blog entry about the imaginary protest of a fictional song. I have created a monster! An adorable little feminist monster. (That is the best kind.)

Adoption Events Tomorrow!

2009-11-17T19:28:00.001-05:00

Since November is National Adoption Month, we thought we'd quickly highlight a couple of adoption-related events that are happening this week.

Tomorrow, NARAL Pro-Choice New York is partnering with Spence-Chapin and The LGBT Center’s Center Kids program to host Choices: Adoption.

“Choices: Adoption” will highlight the work being done to ensure that all people have access to and are supported in the process of adoption.
Presenters will share the work they do to ensure that birth mothers are heard, that professionals are trained to include adoption when options counseling, that the socioeconomic factors underlying transracial adoption are uncovered and discussed and that all individuals and families, regardless of race, sexual orientation and class are recruited as adoptive parents.
Presenters include:
Antoinette Williams, Assistant Director of Domestic Adoption at Spence-Chapin
Marci Lieber, MSW, Healthcare Advocate at Spence-Chapin
Molly HyoJung Bidol, LMSW, Counselor, Coach, Consultant on Transracial Adoption
Birth Mother who placed for adoption through Spence-Chapin
Event is free and open to all with RSVP to Lalena Howard at lhoward@prochoiceny.org or 646-520-3506.
Event space is wheel-chair accessible. Please bring a photo ID to enter the building.

NARAL Pro-Choice New York
470 Park Avenue South, 7th Floor, NYC
(Between 31st and 32nd st.)

And on Thursday, Human Rights Campaign is hosting a national web chat on LGBT adoption.

Over 100,000 children in the U.S. are waiting to be adopted. Each one deserves to be part of a loving, accepting family. We can be those families.

November is National Adoption Month, an opportunity to celebrate and raise awareness of adoption. As part of this celebration, join the Human Rights Campaign for a national web chat on adoption on Thursday, Nov. 19, from 3 to 4:30 p.m. EST. Tune in to learn about adopting children and youth from foster care and what specific information the LGBT community needs to know.

Prior to the discussion, HRC will accept questions that will be answered live by a panel of adoption experts and posted in our chat room at www.hrc.org/chat. Questions may be submitted in advance by e-mailing: webchat@hrc.org.

OMG! Muslims!

2009-11-16T19:29:00.003-05:00

Okay, this is going to short and quick, because it's basically OLD NEWS... but I was sent an email forward yesterday with the subject line "More quiet appointments by Obama". Of course, with a title like that I knew it had to be good. (And by "good" I mean "annoying, misinformed and probably racist").

Fw: More quiet appointments by Obama:

I bet you never saw this in any newspaper in the USA? Another very quiet appointment?
Obama Appoints 2 Devout Muslims to Homeland Security Posts

(NOTE: Has anyone ever heard a new government official being identified as a devout Catholic, Jew or Protestant...? Just wondering)
Doesn't this make you feel safer already??

Obama and Janet Napolitano Appoint Devout Muslim to Homeland Security Post, Arif Alikhan as Assistant Secretary for Policy Development. Source for Announcement: Homeland Security Press Room and atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com
Kareem Shora, who was born in Damascus, Syria was appointed by DHS Secretary Napolitano on Homeland Security Advisory Council (HSAC) Washington, DC June 5, 2009
The American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee (ADC) is proud to announce that earlier today at a ceremony held in Albuquerque, New Mexico, DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano swore-in ADC National Executive Director Kareem Shora as a member of the Homeland Security Advisory Council (HSAC).
Devout Muslims being appointed to critical Homeland Security positions? That should make our homeland much safer, huh!!
Was it not men of the "Devout Muslim Faith" that flew planes into U.S. buildings not too long ago. Once again, what is this president thinking?

Yeah, it was that good. Now I don't know who originated this particular version of the email, but I have to roll my eyes at the person who felt it was worthy of forwarding. Even though most of the information is technically "correct" (Alikhan and Shora were both appointed to DHS positions and they are both Muslim-Americans), the sentiments definitely are not "right". And here's why:

1. Just because the appointments were "quiet" doesn't mean they were secret. They weren't highly publicized because... (surprise!) not every tiny little appointment merits a huge press conference. These positions aren't unimportant, but they're not exactly Secretary of Homeland Security either. You may not have read it in the newspapers recently because the appointments took place way back in April and June 2009 respectively. But it wasn't kept "quiet". (If you don't believe me here are the original press releases.)

2. Just because someone is a Muslim doesn't mean they are necessarily a"devout" Muslim. There's one 2007 article from a German magazine that refers to Alikhan as a "devout Sunni" but there are no direct quotes from him about the extent of his alleged devoutness. Shora just refers to himself as a Muslim-American.

3. Just because someone is Muslim (devout or otherwise) or of Middle Eastern descent doesn't mean that they're a terrorist or otherwise dangerous. I don't think this one needs any further explanation. (If you do require further explanation, well, then just go away.)

4. "Has anyone ever heard a new government official being identified as a devout Catholic, Jew or Protestant...?" Um, yeah. In fact, a candidate's devoutness is often a selling point... (well, as long as they're from a Christ-based faith.) Barack Obama wasn't devout enough. The devoutness of Mike Huckabee (Baptist) and Mitt Romney (Mormon) were all anyone talked about. Not only did Elizabeth Dole's campaign refer to her religion (including her "devout Methodist" upbringing), but she also tried to bash her opponent Kay Hagan for being an atheist (she wasn't, she actually was a devout Christian.)

5. Using Atlas Shrugs as a reference only weakens one's argument. (In case you're not already familiar with them, one of their "missions" is to "say no to an islamized America". Not exactly the most unbiased source out there.) We were unable to find any blogs upset or worried about these appointments, other than the usual right wing, conservative, Islamophobic, xenophobic, racist ones. (Our "favorite", by the way, is ExposeObama.com. Doesn't it sound like they're about to release an Obama sex tape?)

6. Before his appointment, Arif Alikhan was the deputy mayor of Los Angeles, in charge of Public Safety. Don't you think that if he was some sort of secret terrorist, he would have used that position to facilitate an attack on L.A.?

7. Kareem Shora was National Executive Director of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee. Not exactly a terrorist organization. He had dedicated his life to the civil rights of others and won numerous human rights awards.

8, Devout Muslims being appointed to critical Homeland Security positions probably will make our homeland much safer. Diversity in our government is a good thing, not a bad thing. According to a recent poll by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, more than half of those surveyed thought that American Muslims face widespread discrimination. It's no doubt that Arab Americans and American Muslims feel this discrimination (often in the form of racial profiling and Islamophobia) especially from government agencies like the Department of Homeland Security. Showing that the United States government isn't as racist and Islamophobic as some people in the country is a very good thing.

9. It wasn't "men of the Devout Muslim Faith" that flew planes into U.S. buildings. It was Islamic Extremist Terrorists. They're not the same thing!!!! Although there does exist a very small subgroup of radical Fundamentalist terrorists, by far the majority of Muslims are peaceful and moderate. Of course, groups like this exist in various religions and cultures. How would it feel if all Christians were treated like white supremacists, just because of a few small Christian Identity groups?

10. Do I have to make a list of all the horrible things that so-called devout Christians have done? Because I totally can. "Men of the Devout Christian Faith" have committed heinous crimes, often in the name of Christianity... but no one would ever suggest that having Christians in the Department of Homeland Security was a safety risk.

11. How long do you have to be an American citizen before people stop treating you like a "foreigner". The son of Indian and Pakistani parents, Alikhan was born in Canada and raised in California. Shora was born in Damascus, Syria but has lived in the United States for many years. There may be some legitimacy to the argument that Homeland Security posts should be held by natural-born Americans, but it shouldn't matter if they are from the Middle East or elsewhere. I'm not necessarily agreeing with that point, but I would at least understand that argument, as opposed to the "OMG! Muslims!" fear mongering.

It is the same kind of fearful racism that motivates groups like the AFA to suggest that Muslims should not be allowed to serve in the military (because, you know, we just have an overabundance of people wanting to risk their lives for the U.S... we don't need Muslims or homosexuals or even women, right?)

Barack Obama suffered the same xenophobia and Islamophobia (even though he is neither an immigrant nor a Muslim). Come on America, we're better than that! Hey, remember when I said this blog was going to be short and quick? Oh well. And a general request to my friends and family: Please don't send me email forwards that are racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic, [insert your own here], inaccurate or outdated. Thanks!

Related Posts:

Online Blackberry Picking

2009-11-16T04:37:00.005-05:00

I've been thinking about getting a new phone. Of course, I don't actually need a new phone right now, but that's not stopping my online window shopping. Obviously I thought about an iPhone, but I'm paranoid about switching from Verizon, which has been okay for me, after my experience with Sprint, which really really really sucked. So I'm thinking about a Blackberry, but I'm not sure. I know they're cool and they have a mess of features and a lot of people like them and some people prefer them to the iPhone, but they still kinda have that "professional" vibe to me. Not that that's a bad thing. After all, the ESC is building an empire.

So I'm undecided. Anyone have a Blackberry and want to sell me on it, or hate them and want to turn me against them forever?

*Fantasy shopping spree brought to you by CheaperPharmacy.com.

Cosmo Thinks Slut-Shaming is Hot

2009-11-15T22:40:00.001-05:00

The Hot Sheet page is one of the most reliable sources of nonsense in an issue of Cosmo. In the December issue, their list of "trends on the rise right now" includes aliens and gossiping. Groundbreaking reporting, as always. But it's the "What's Not So Hot" item on the list that never fails to piss me off. This month, the target is former Danity Kane member and current Peepshow star Aubrey O'Day.

What's Not So Hot: Self-Love

Dear Aubrey O'Day,

We think it's just terrific that you have a positive self-image, but we're not sure you need to announce it on a tee shirt (or dis the opposite sex). Oh, hell, what are we complaining about? We should be thrilled you're even wearing clothes!

Love,
Cosmo

[Note: This isn't the exact same photo of Aubrey that Cosmo used, but it's an almost identical one from the same event.]

Okay, so first off I have to say that I like Aubrey O'Day. I know that she sometimes says and does and wears some ridiculous things, but whatever, I just dig her. But I'd be pissed off by this little love letter no matter who it was written about, because it's just so catty and obnoxious and stupid.

The shirt that Aubrey is holding is from a new line of shirts that's part of her Heart On My Sleeve collection. And I'm sorry, but I just can't buy the idea that this shirt is so horribly offensive and disrespectful to men. You might not like it or want to wear it yourself, but it's just a fun silly slogan. I guess it's just hard for guy-obsessed Cosmo to imagine why any woman would ever want to even hint at the idea that she doesn't spend every minute of every day loving men.

Saying 'I don't love men' (which isn't even really technically what this shirt actually says) isn't the same as saying 'men suck' or 'I hate men'. And of course, this is just another subtle reminder that lesbians, who could easily say that they don't love men without it being considered 'dissing the opposite sex', don't exist in Cosmo-land. Aubrey's line of shirts actually has one up on Cosmo in this department - she has a rainbow "Pride" shirt in the line, and slogans like "I Love Men", "Womanizer", and "Boy Scouting" are available in men's and women's shirts.

Also, I just have to laugh at the fact that the editors of Cosmo are actually trashing someone for having self-esteem. They don't describe what's "not so hot" about this picture as 'overconfidence' or 'shameless self-promotion' or something like that. No, it's "What's not so hot: self-love". Really, Cosmo? So being a "Fun Fearless Female" isn't supposed to involve feeling good about yourself, or being confident enough to say that you love yourself? If you wanted to, you could even interpret the shirt as having a 'love yourself before you can love someone else' message, which is really harmless and not a "dis" to Cosmo's precious men.

Of course, the letter really gets down to business at the end with the 'at least she's wearing clothes' dig right out of the Slut-Shaming 101 Handbook. (They pulled pretty much the same thing on Pam Anderson a few months ago.) This same issue has an article about how to turn a one night stand into a relationship, a plug for the new edition of the Cosmo Kama Sutra, an article about ways to use a vibrator with your guy (but not with another girl, because of course lesbians and bisexual women don't exist), and the obligatory feature article full of sex tips. I guess someone or something only qualifies as slutty when the Cosmo editors decide to draw their arbitrary line in the sand.

And then, the kicker - the caption on the photo of Aubrey says, "Well, somebody has to." As in, 'good thing you love yourself because there's no way anyone else could love your skanky self'. Well, I know I sure feel more fun and fearless after reading that! Nothing like cutting down another woman for absolutely no reason to create a false sense of superiority and empowerment. Suck it, Cosmo.

Carrie Prejean was Palin-ized

2009-11-14T11:00:00.001-05:00

I saw the clip of Carrie Prejean on Larry King Live the other day and wow, let's just say I have some very strong opinions about what she said. But first let me get a few things out of the way...

The musical monologue that Taylor Swift sang on Saturday Night Live last weekend is still stuck in my head, so forgive me if I take inspiration from her right now and start this blog with all the things about Carrie Prejean that I'm not going to talk about:

I'm not going to talk about Perez Hilton or the Miss USA Pageant or gay marriage, because it's already all been said (although we must admit that Jay Smooth had the best theory).

I'm not going to talk about the "racy" photos or the sex tape, because I don't think there's anything wrong with that sort of stuff. (While I do think it makes her a little bit of a liar and a hypocrite, if there's one thing we don't condone over here, it's slut-shaming.)

I'm not going to talk about her breast implants or the new book she "wrote".

I'm not going to talk about her getting fired as "Miss California", the multiple lawsuits or the abrupt settlement.

And I'm not even going to talk about her awkward "departure" (even though she didn't actually depart) from the Larry King interview or her apparent inability to understand and answer questions.

What I do want to talk about was really only a small moment in the interview but I have a big opinion about it...

KING: You've characterized yourself as being "Palin-ized". What do you mean?
PREJEAN: Well you look at, uh, Sarah Palin and Congresswoman, you know, Michelle Bachmann. They are relentlessly, um, you know, torn down by the liberal media. I mean, they're wonderful women... they're intelligent... they're great mothers.... um, they're brilliant. And yet there is this double standard that conservative women are fair game to be attacked and it's not right and it needs to stop.
KING: Doesn't the conservative media tear down liberal politicians?
PREJEAN: Not to the extent that liberals do to conservative, uh, women. I think that they get away with it. Um, if you look at Keith Olbermann for instance... I talk about it in my book... some of the things that he, uh, says on his show about conservatives... if Sean Hannity or if Bill O'Reilly said anything like that about a liberal woman like Sonia Sotomayor or Michelle Obama he would be off the air. And there is this double standard and Americans are now exposed to it.

Um... what!?

Can we all take a minute to giggle over the fact that she has the nerve to compare herself to a former-Governor/Vice Presidential candidate? No matter how unqualified you may feel Sarah Palin was to have those positions, it did happen. So far Prejean's greatest accomplishment has been winning "Miss California"... temporarily.

Although wait, now that I think about it... If you think about it, maybe there are some similarities: They were both beauty pageant contestants and models. They both lost their respective "competitions" (Miss North Carolina took home the crown for Miss USA and well, we all know what Joe Biden is doing now). They both are against same-sex marriage. And they both apparently suck at interviews. Hm, maybe this comparison isn't as far off as we thought. But I digress.

Now, there is no doubt that the media - not just the "liberal media" - has at times harshly criticized Sarah Palin, but it's not always about the fact that she's a conservative woman. Sometimes it's about the fact that she just really kind of sucks. It's not sexist to question someone's qualifications or criticize someone's policies. Yes, a lot of the things said about Palin were completely sexist - and that's not okay - but it wasn't entirely from the liberals.

We agree that you shouldn't fight anti-gay bigotry with misogny, so we do have sympathy for the way that Prejean, like Palin, was treated badly by the media. But if she's really going to pretend that liberal women don't get the same fucked up treatment (if not way worse) then she's seriously deluded.

It's interesting that she used Sonia Sotomayor as an example, because we have no shortage of evidence to prove her wrong. We compiled a top 10 list of fucked up things conservatives have said about her this past June. Some of the "highlights":

"I know lots of stupid people who went to Ivy League schools." -- Karl Rove

"Hey, Hispanic chick lady! You're empathetic...you're in! That's the way it really works." -- Glenn Beck

"Let's hope that the key conferences aren't when she's menstruating or something, or just before she's going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then." -- G. Gordon Liddy

Michelle Obama was the other example she used. Hm... What about the Republican activist who compared her to a gorilla? Or the columnist who gave her the title "First Bitch"? And who can forget Bill O'Reilly saying she looks like an angry woman? (Check out Michelle Obama Watch and Feministing's and Shakeville's ongoing "Michelle Obama Racism/Sexism Watch" series for more.)

And how about Nancy Pelosi? Glenn Beck joked about poisoning her and Michael Savage referred to her as "Mussolini in a skirt with bad rouge [...] and too much Botox". For more offenses, check out Media Matter's compilation of attacks on Pelosi's looks or New York Magazine's recent article "Why is Nancy Pelosi Always Smiling?"

And then there's the obvious... Hillary Clinton. We could fill pages and pages with all the bad things people have said about her over the years. Lars Larson compared her to Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction... Don Imus called her "that buck-tooth witch, Satan"... Novelty stores sold Hillary nutcrackers and everyone obsessed over the fact that she wears a lot of pantsuits.

Even Sarah Palin complained about her whining. Hm. A teenaged Chelsea Clinton wasn't spared either: Rush Limbaugh called her a dog and who can forget John McCain's hilarious joke "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."

Yeah, the right wing media never gets away with any sexist attacks on liberal women. Thank God Carrie Prejean was able to expose Americans to this terrible double standard!

Look we won't pretend that the left wing is always super awesome (some of Keith Olbermann's comments have pissed us off, although he does spread it around both parties) but c'mon, let's be realistic here. The "liberal media" doesn't get away with anything that the other side isn't also guilty of. (According to Prejean, shouldn't they all have been kicked off the air by now?) Ever since Sarah Palin was picked as John McCain's running mate the conservatives "discovered" sexism. That is, they pretended that they actually care about sexism, but of course, they constantly contradict themselves. The way that women - throughout the entire political spectrum - are treated in the media is a big problem. But blaming the left wing for it is neither fair nor productive.

The press (and the blogs) really did give Carrie Prejean a hard time, but blaming them for all of her problems isn't fair. She made some mistakes and hiding behind religious discrimination or sexism or "Palin-izing" isn't going to make those mistakes go away. (And if she is really so concerned about sexism and double standards... what was she doing in beauty pageant in the first place? But that's a whole other issue.)

Etiquette Tip: Keep Your Condoms Off My Lawn

2009-11-13T16:40:00.003-05:00

Since Republican sex scandals are a dime a dozen these days, it seems that the men of the GOP are getting creative in an attempt to get noticed. Take one Mr. Blake Hall of Idaho:

Blake Hall, a leading figure in Idaho and national politics for 25 years, was fired Monday as a deputy prosecuting attorney in eastern Idaho and has resigned from the Republican National Committee.
Hall, a former member of the state Board of Education, pleaded guilty Friday to stalking a former girlfriend and is serving a 15-day jail sentence. He also was sentenced to a year of supervised probation. A six-month jail sentence was suspended. [Idaho Statesman via AlterNet]

Boy, I sure hope he can survive that incredibly harsh sentence of two whole weeks in jail for stalking. And what makes this case of stalking so "special"? Well, it's the ever-so-slightly unusual method that Hall chose to try to get his ex-girlfriend's attention.

Idaho Falls police reported that witnesses said Hall disposed of used condoms on the lawn of the woman's house. Nineteen condoms were turned over to police, collected on 10 different dates, according to a police report. Both Hall and his lawyer acknowledged the condoms belonged to him, according to a police report.
Also, between March and August, Hall repeatedly followed the woman to restaurants, the movies and her home, and he ignored her repeated requests that he leave her alone, according to police and court records.
The victim testified Friday that Hall once followed her to a Walmart and took her car keys and would not return them until she agreed to "hear him out" concerning her marriage, the Idaho Falls Post Register reported.
"I was so tired of being victimized," the woman said. "It is unimaginable that a 56-year-old would be so deviant." [Emphasis mine]

I admit that that last quote made me laugh - would this guy's deviant behavior be more understandable if he was, say, 37 or 52? I do get her point though - the brilliant 'condoms on the lawn ploy' does seem much more likely to spring from the mind of a 19 year old frat boy than a 56 year old attorney and fine upstanding Republican.

Seriously, who does that? And not just one used condom on the lawn, but nineteen condoms on ten different occasions. I just really don't understand how you come to a point in your life where that seems like a good idea. Do you think he ever stopped himself, like maybe around condom eleven or so, to reassess his strategy...or his mental health?

And what exactly were all of those condoms supposed to accomplish? From the rest of the story, it seems like Hall was trying to get his ex to take him back. Or, more accurately, that's what it seems like he thought he was doing, although what he was actually doing was stalking and harassing her. So how does the condom throwing figure into the 'if she would just hear me out she'd realize that we're meant to be together' strategy? Was the message supposed to be "remember all of the great sex we used to have"? Or "I just had some great sex...with myself, and I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you during it"? Or, "I'm bringing you physical proof that I just had sex with someone else, are you overcome with jealousy and ready to leave your husband for me yet?" Or maybe just, "I'm a creepy douchebag."

At this point I'm sure that you're all deeply concerned about how our boy Blake is going to support himself after he completes his extremely long and stressful 15 day prison sentence, since he lost his job and had to resign from the RNC. (Although if he hadn't resigned they probably would have kicked him out of the party anyway - having premarital sex and using birth control? Clearly a RINO.) But don't worry, because in addition to having a successful private practice to go back to, it turns out that he was only fired by one of the counties that he works for:

But Hall, 56, will keep his $31,000-a-year job as the civil attorney in nearby Fremont County, according to Prosecutor Joette Lookabaugh, a Republican who hired Hall in January.
Lookabaugh said she told Hall he would keep his job "unless or until his ability to do an outstanding job for Fremont County citizens is compromised."
In a news release, Lookabaugh suggested Hall was singled out because of his notoriety.
"I understand that political figures are held to a higher standard," she said. "What is disturbing is the fact that often people who have devoted their lives to public service are not given the same benefits, or are treated more harshly, than the public at large. There seems to be a certain amount of political glee in striking down the well-known for any real or perceived foible."

This guy is a stalker who threw used condoms on his victim's lawn not once, but nineteen times. I think we're well past "foible" territory here. And as far as the claim that Hall is being "held to a higher standard" because he's a political figure...how fucking low would your standards have to be for you to consider Hall's behavior acceptable? This isn't one of those cases where some Republican makes an offensive comment and is 'struck down' by the wacky liberal PC police, or has to hold a tearful press conference because he got caught cheating on his wife. He's going to jail for a crime that he admitted to committing.

Also on Hall's side was his lawyer, David Leroy, who said, "In my opinion, he accepted this severe penalty with extreme grace. He was calm and strong." His definition of the word severe must be much different than mine. Leroy also complained about the fact that the judge in the case denied his work release request, which would have allowed Hall to continue to go to work each day and only spend his nights in jail.

"Blake Hall has absolutely no prior criminal record," Leroy said. "Yet he was denied a privilege commonly given in that jurisdiction of work release to attend to business during a relatively brief period of incarceration."
Special Prosecutor Jay Rosenthal said Monday that the sentence was appropriate.
"I believe the judge recognized how invasive this defendant was in the life of this young lady," Rosenthal said. "He held her effectively prisoner in her own community, and he needed to know what it was like to not be free."
...Said [Judge] Harding: "I've never seen (a stalking case) this extensive where it lasted so long and (was) such an invasion of privacy."

So because he has no prior criminal record, he deserves an even lighter sentence than 15 days? He can't spend two damn weeks in jail to pay for what was apparently many weeks or months of invading a woman's privacy, following her around, harassing her, and have we mentioned yet that he had a habit of throwing his used condoms on her lawn? It certainly seems like Leroy is one of the many people who just don't get how serious stalking is. And, you know, going beyond that...call me crazy, but I'm almost starting to get the feeling that, as a general rule, Republicans just don't respect women all that much. But maybe that's just me.

Weblog Awards Nominations!!

2009-11-12T10:20:00.000-05:00

Evil Slutopia has been nominated for two 2009 Weblog Awards:

Best Liberal Blog

Best Hidden Gem

Okay, so technically it's still the first round, where any blog can be nominated. But as our many adoring fans know, we're not just anyone. We think that this is good timing because we do feel that the next logical step for our ESC Empire is to start winning awards, so that we can increase our global fame and prestige... and so that we can obnoxiously start referring to our "award-winning blog" every chance we get. (We may just start doing that anyway even if we don't win.)

Please vote for us so we can become finalists and then eventually, hopefully win!

Go here and then here and click on the little green plus sign to raise our score. Make sure you click on the one right below the comment about Evil Slutopia - directly under the name of the commenter, Mary - and not the one above it. (We're sure those blogs are great too, but fuck them, we want you to vote for us!) If you want to leave some comments in there about how awesome we are, we'd be okay with that too. Come on, you know we should totally make the finals for Best Liberal Blog based on our name alone.

Nominations and voting take place until November 2o, 2009. The finalists will be announced in December.

Thank you for voting!

Evil Slutopia Turns 3!

2009-11-11T11:11:00.009-05:00

Another successful year at Evil Slutopia! Way back in 2006 when we started this blog we didn't know if anyone else would ever read it...

Now three years later we are still going strong and Evil Slutopia is greater than we even imagined! We are so grateful for each and every one of our readers and fans and commenters, even the annoying/argumentative ones (you know who you are). These past few years have been a lot of fun and a lot of hard work, but we wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, maybe for a lucrative book deal with film options... but don't worry we're not selling out just yet.

Although, we're not too proud to accept a little help. If you would like to keep Evil Slutopia going, click here! Thank you so much for spending the past 3 years with us! We hope you will stick around for the next 3... and many more.
[Corona cake courtesy of CakeCentral.com]

Veterans Day Roundup

2009-11-11T03:33:00.001-05:00

Today is Veterans Day here in the U.S., so we thought we'd do a roundup of veteran-related links and recent news:

~Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA) has a map of Veterans Day events across the country, so you can find the event near you. From their event organizing guide:

“We’ve Got Your Back” is the IAVA theme for Veterans Day 2009. From getting the New GI Bill passed, to advance funding the VA, to hosting A Night for Vets with MTV, to the event you are at right now, IAVA always has your back. Our upcoming series of Public Service Advertisements (PSA), which is launching on November 11th, 2009, reflect this theme. You have probably seen our first PSA, the one with two vets shaking hands. You can view it at http://www.iava.org/adcouncil. The new one is even better. It demonstrates the power of the new veterans community. And let’s OIF and OEF vets know that they are never alone. Veterans can come together every day, and find new ways to serve together. That is why we say, We’ve Got Your Back. Don’t forget to check out our new PSA launching on Veterans Day this year at www.IAVA.org!

~Senator Tom Coburn has placed a hold on a major veterans benefits bill because he has issues with how it's going to be paid for. VoteVets is collecting signatures on a petition asking Senator Coburn to lift the hold.

Democratic Senators Daniel Akaka, Jon Tester and Mark Begich held a press conference today calling on Republican Senator Tom Coburn to release his hold on a veterans' health bill. The bill offers assistance and improves benefits to wounded veterans and their caregivers. In addition, the legislation will provide assistance to caregivers who, at times, have to give up their jobs to stay at home and care for injured soldiers. On the eve of Veteran's Day, Senator Akaka said, "Let us allow our deeds to speak for us." He continued, referencing Tom Coburn, "the senator who has been blocking parts of this bill since the summer argues that this bill is too expensive. I believe that when we vote to send troops to war, we have an obligation to take care of them." [Democratic Caucus's Senate Journal]

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid called Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) “illogical" for holding up a veterans care bill Tuesday, criticizing the Oklahoma Republican for supporting war funding while blocking health care funding for veterans. Coburn, a fiscally conservative Republican, has a hold on the bill, a legislative tactic to prevent its passage. He sent a letter to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), saying that the Caregiver and Veterans Services Act of 2009 needs to be fully debated because it will cost taxpayers more than $3 billion over the next five years. The bill provides funding for families who care for wounded soldiers.

Reid, flanked by a severely injured Iraq war veteran on Tuesday, hinted that Coburn’s tough stance on the cost of legislation was flawed — he supported the war in Iraq, which wasn’t paid for, but opposes the veterans care bill for the same reason. “Where was he when we were spending a trillion dollars on the war in Iraq?” Reid asked. “That wasn’t paid for. I didn’t hear him stopping the bill from going forward at that time. I think he should become more logical and understand we have people who are suffering." [Politico]

~It seems like everyone's talking about nothing but health care reform lately, and of course it's an issue that touches the lives of many veterans too:

On the eve of Veterans Day, a team of researchers from Harvard Medical School has released a study finding that an estimated 2,266 veterans under the age of 65 died last year because they did not have health insurance. That “translates to six preventable deaths per day” and more than twice the number killed in Afghanistan since the war began in 2001.

Being uninsured raises a person’s odds of dying prematurely by 40 percent. The researchers found that 1.46 million veterans between the ages of 18 and 64 lacked insurance in 2008. While most veterans are eligible to receive excellent care from the Veterans Administration, those who were not injured in combat and whose income is above a certain threshold are often ineligible. Others are assigned low priorities, providing them with less consistent and more expensive access to care: [Think Progress]

~Young Women Misbehavin', a research project of the Business and Professional Women's Foundation, recently highlighted the foundation's research on women veterans:

Millions of America’s bravest and most exceptional women serve our country in the Armed Forces. Women comprise 15 percent of the active military, 8 percent of the total US veteran population, and 18 percent of the Iraq and Afghanistan veteran population. That is over 1.8 million women veterans! As women veterans enter the civilian workforce, they say they desire the same things from the workplace as other working women and experience many of the same challenges. However, as this unique group of working women returns home to their civilian lives and families, their needs are not receiving adequate attention and support. Issues impacting all working women–including pay equity, career advancement, and access to benefits such as health care–are magnified by challenges such as injury, sexual trauma, homelessness and PTSD.

For more, check out the reports from the foundations Women Veterans in Transition research project, as well as their Dear Jane campaign, which is a letter writing campaign that connects women veterans with deployed women who are getting ready to transition back to civilian life.

~Speaking of women veterans, IAVA recently held a Week of Women Warriors, launching a new Women Warriors Center on their website and releasing a new issue report, "Women Warriors: Supporting She 'Who Has Borne the Battle.'"

"Women make up 11% of the force in Iraq and Afghanistan. Yet, their challenges have largely been overlooked and underreported. IAVA's new report pulls together the most up to date information on a broad range of issues confronting female servicemembers and veterans," said IAVA Executive Director Paul Rieckhoff. "Countless women have served bravely and honorably for their country. It's time for the Department of Defense, the VA, lawmakers and the public to take bold action on behalf of these women warriors and give them the support they have earned."

IAVA's newly released report explores a wide range of issues, including:

Sexual Assault, Harassment and Military Sexual Trauma (MST): Women in the military have been coping with significant and underreported sexual assault and harassment for decades. The report examines the statistics behind this prevalent issue, the measures that are currently in place and steps that must be taken to aggressively address this systematic problem.
Higher Divorce Rates for Female Servicemembers: Marriages of female troops are failing at almost three times the rate of male servicemembers. The report examines the data behind this troubling trend.
Barriers to VA Health Care: In recent years the VA has been challenged to care for female veterans, who now make up 12% of all Iraq and Afghanistan veterans seeking VA health care. The report examines the fragmentation of women's VA services, privacy and safety concerns and problems communicating eligibility and benefits to female veterans.
Homelessness among Female Veterans: Of homeless Iraq and Afghanistan veterans, almost 10% are women, and many of them have families. The report examines this growing trend and the urgent economic challenges facing female veterans.

Read the report, then sign IAVA's open letter to Congress and spread the word, because our women warriors deserve more respect and better care.

Happy Veterans Day!

National Young Reader's Week

2009-11-10T11:00:00.002-05:00

Yesterday marked the start of National Young Reader's Week (November 9-13). Hundreds of schools across the country celebrate reading by participating in this annual event each year. The event that was co-founded in 1989 by Pizza Hut® and the Center for the Book in the Library of Congress. Set aside as a special day to recognize the joys and benefits of reading, schools recruited local “celebrities” to read aloud a favorite children’s book to their classrooms. Local reading role model “celebrities” included local officials, sports figures, public safety officers, parents, and other guests from the public and private sector.

[Attention teachers: Enrollment for the BOOK IT! 2009 is already completed - Program Enrollment will begin on March 1, 2010. You can set a reminder for next year's program by clicking here.]

So we decided to compile a list of some of our favorite children's books. (Yes, we know about children's books! Don't forget, there are mini-ESC members too, like our favorite little feminist guest blogger.)

We've already written about how much we love And Tango Makes Three... The more people protest it and try to get it banned, the more we love it. What's not to love about the TRUE STORY of two male penguins who fell in love and raised a baby together in the NYC Central Park Zoo.

The Princess Knight is a sweet little book about a princess named Violetta who rides and jousts and fights with swords... But then one day her father, the king, plans a jousting tournament for the "bravest knights in the land" in which the winner will win her hand in marriage. Obviously Violetta isn't down with that, so she finds a way to come to her own rescue.

T he Tough Princess tells the story of a king and queen who kept losing wars and kingdoms and hope that their new baby will help restore their fortunes. When the baby turns out to be a girl, they get a little worried and so they team up with a bad fairy who casts a spell on the princess so she will be rescued by a handsome and rich prince. Of course, the princess won't stand for that, so she defeats the fairy and goes on to rescue several rich princes.

Who's in a Family? is a great book for any child, but especially those not living in a typical "nuclear family" (which means it's a great book for lots and lots of children). The families in the book range from the traditional nuclear family to single parents, same-sex parents, grandparents, an array of multicultural families and mixed-race couples and even some animal examples.

Amazing Grace is the story of a girl named Grace who wants to play the part of Peter Pan in her school play. Her classmates tell her that the role has to be played by a white boy, but with the help of her mother and grandmother (who takes her to see a famous black ballerina from Trinidad to inspire her) Grace learns that if you believe in yourself and work hard, you can achieve greatness and win the role of your dreams.

For more great children's book recommendations with a non-sexist or feminist slant, you can also check out the Amelia Bloomer Project list or the book Gender Positive! Leave the names of your recommendations for great children's books in the comments...