Bonding Moms & Daughters To Navigate Our Crazy World ..........Oh Yeah AND Crafts!!!

Let the"Girl Effect" Affect You & Your Daughter

2008-07-26T05:25:00.003-04:00

Follow the link (logo) above and watch the video. Next get your daughter and watch it with her. Then enter the site and watch the 4 very short videos of the girls. Very Moving and I wanted to share it! If you feel as I did then follow to the website Global Giving and see how a $10 donation can educate these girls. Amazing Huh? Donate if you can. This made me feel so lucky to live in this country and so grateful for the life and choices my daughter has. It's the old Oprah thing - Very Important to spend a few moments every day just being grateful.

Controlling Granny Attempts To Crush Tweens Creativity

2008-07-23T04:25:00.000-04:00

Today I got to do one of my most favorite things - teach a doll craft party to 15 little girls ages 6 to 9. They were adorable and so eager to dig in to all the supplies, it's hard some times to get through the brief general directions and safety spiel before all the little voices start going "Can I?......How do I?.......Whats that?...........I want to ..........."

I always have lots of Moms on hand to help. Did I say "help"? .................. Most of the Moms are great helpers but today I had a "grandmother from hell" at the party. She was suppose to be assisting her granddaughter , Amanda, but instead she was "dictating" the young girls design of her doll. There she was "those colors don't match" and "that doesn't look right in her hair!" and "you're putting on too many beads!"

Man, do I hate that!! Creativity, is the whole purpose of this activity and it drives me crazy when adults try to direct a kids imagination. So much so, that I simply refuse to let it happen, so with great tact and intervention skills, through clenched teeth and with a big fake smile I told the "control freak" grandma how I heard they desperately needed help in the kitchen. She was gone in a flash! Yeah!!

At the close of the party we had a little fashion show where each kid comes up and shows off her doll. Each doll gets a tiara and a sash with a title on it , "Miss America or Cutest or Beauty Queen, etc." Amanda came up and proudly displayed her doll that rightly earned the title I save in case there is a very unusual work of art " Freaky Funky Teen". She was so proud of herself and the other girls were applauding for her.

I saw grandma in the back of the room shaking her head and I couldn't help myself I just laughed out loud, not even quietly to myself. Nobody noticed me, there was too much ruckus and party noise - just like I like it.

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My First Dress Up Dolls - "Scrappy Girls"

2008-07-22T03:34:00.009-04:00

Here's the new plan. While I'm waiting for other crafters to discover the absolute

joy of designing dress up dolls

with my

Candee Doll Crafts Parties
and

"Design-A-Doll" Kits

I'm going to create dolls of my own quirky unique style and open an Etsy shop. I am the happiest when I am conducting a class or party with my little dress up doll in my lap and my glue gun is going full speed ahead in my right hand and the other hand is in the treasure box rummaging through fabrics & trims . . . my mind is planning the funky outfit, the coordinating shoes, the wild hair,the cutesy or peculiar face and I begin to imagine where would she be going and what would she be thinking and who is. . . . . . . . . . . sorry, I do like the imaginary dream life of dolls . . . . . . . . . . a lot and maybe too much.

I will confess that when I see dolls lying on the floor or falling off kilter to their side -- I can't stand to leave them that way. Ifeel bad for them and I set them upright and straighten their curls and dress. It just bugs me to see them in disarray. They have feelings you know!

"Nobody Can Push Me Around" ..........Scrappy Girl

Excellent Dress Up Dolls For Tweens

2008-07-21T01:42:00.007-04:00

Karito Kids

I remember hearing about these dolls awhile back but they are worth a special blog note. Dolls with normal body proportions, various races and a bit of the profit given to charity. Santa once brought my daughter a black baby doll and she loved it and enjoyed it just like her other ones. At the time we were in a small town in CT. The relatives gave a few weird looks when they were over for Christmas Dinner. I did not care. I grew up in FL. where a mix of color was the norm in my school and I wanted my kid to see variations in color and culture of people. Thankfully, we ended up back in FL. and she went to school and made friends with kids from a variety of cultures. Anyway that's what's great about these dolls (and I am a BIG DOLL LOVER) Of course the website has an interactive component as well. They are priced like the American Girl dolls but it has always bugged me how they all look the same like clones. Ewwwww

A Mom and Teen "Going Away To College" Project

2008-07-19T01:08:00.016-04:00

So I've decided to include an occasional post about a sewing project. Because sewing is my heritage and I'm ashamed :( to not be promoting this fine art. My daughter, Carlynn, who just graduated, had this great idea to preserve her favorite high school T-shirts from the 4 years of activities and events. Too many to wear and I guess not "cool" when you get to college! So she decided to make a blanket out of them. With my input ( 75% ignored & 25% accepted - very good results for a teen and Mom collaboration I might add ) it came out fantastic!

First she made a cardboard pattern to use to cut equal sized squares from the T-shirts. Fronts and backs were used and kept together as one piece

Next we laid them out and played mixy , matchy, movey until all the colors and patterns were just right. Also about 3 inches of the outside edge needed to be plain - You'll see why......

Next we sewed the squares together. The front and back of each shirt was kept together and treated as one piece of fabric. T-shirt material sticks to itself so it was easy to do this. First in long strips. Second all the long strips were sewn together.

The square's edges were overlapped 1/2 inch when sewing them together. Carlynn wanted a quirky look to the finished blanket with many of the unfinished edges visible.

The last step was to finish the edge. This was why we tried to avoid a pattern or wording in the outer 3 inch edge. A No Sew technique was used. The entire edge was cut into 2 inch deep and 1/2 inch wide fringe. Remember there is a double thickness to the blanket . The front and backs of the shirts. Cut through both layers at the same time. The final work was to tie all theses little fringies to each other. The aligning front and back fringe piece to each other. This took longer than sewing the squares together! This was where I butted out. But a teen who is waiting impatiently to go away to college in August has lots of free time to tie knots.(not me)

She'll probably have that blanket for years and the memories as well!

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Non-Conforming Tweens Are NORMAL

2008-07-09T01:52:00.006-04:00

Sugar and spice and all things nice
that's what little girls are made of . . . . .

Boyfriend Dreams

Cell Phone Screams

Low Cut Jeans . . . .

That's What Moody Tweens are Made Of ?

So many issues here. . . . .Let's just talk clothes today. At some point tween girls begin to push the limits of your patience by trying some very weird clothing styles Or. . . they try to get away with wearing clothes too tight and too revealing. As the Mom you have to take a stand on what you will allow and this can result in some serious head butting with the "darling daughter" and this is not pleasant. Here's a few pointers to help.

Don't let her dress like a "hoochie mama" when she's 5 years old! Some people think this is cute. It is NOT and the kids perception of, sleazy = cute = attention, is set in motion at a very young age and continues to the teen years and there's no stopping it because in the tweens mind "it was OK then so why not now". Big Big fights will ensue. Check out this article about the problems caused when tweens dress "too old" and some great ideas to appease their need for finding their own style.

Be flexible you stuffy old fashioned Mom --YOU! You are not suppose to understand a tweens fashion sense nor "like" it. Their clothes are experiments in trying on different personalities. It's the beginning of a life quest to figure out who they are. Did you know that fashion designers often scour the streets to get ideas for designs and these often come from tweens and teens who have mixed together styles to create new ones. Goth, retro, vintage, Japanese, punk and more all inter weaved sometimes. Non-conforming being the goal.

Get your tween involved in creating her own style. Any local craft store has isles with ideas just go and browse. From simple painting on hoodies, jeans or T-shirts - to more advanced cutting and revamping a simple shirt into a funky piece of art. Use existing clothes for starters to keep the cost down and beware there's a store coming to your neighborhood soon where decorating a hoodie by computer could cost you $90.00 !!! Because I'm a DIY girl that seems crazy. I always see expensive things and think "I could do that" but time is always an issue too. That's why my speedy glue gun has taken the place of my sewing machine so often. GOGO GLUE GUN!!!

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New Surfer Sandy Dress Up Doll

2008-07-07T03:34:00.004-04:00

I finally completed development of the newest "Design-A-Doll" Kit. In celebration of summer my new doll kit is

Surfer Sandy

The fabric choices are all very bright pretty tropical prints and the special trims to complete the "Island" style are colorful wood beads and cowry shells. I LOVE shells of all kinds, I use them to decorate my bathrooms. I'm in Florida remember. Also lei flowers to fancy the hair and sandals. I love making these simple dolls. Oh , ..and the dreadlock hair is so cute and very easy to string the beads on. Of course you can find her at Candee Crafts.

Another great piece of news is that I videotaped the instructions for the dolls hair, dress and sandals. This is for all the dolls, as the basic assembly is the same until you get to the individual style of each kit. The trims are the easiest part. I keep thinking they are so easy to make - which they are, but to teach it by "text" is great for a crafty person, but a NEWBIE to crafting can get it much easier from a VIDEO right? So I'll post that ASAP after editing the tape. There's TWO more dolls in development and one has charms to finish the decor..............she's way too cute!

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The Relaxing ? Tween Years

2008-06-30T01:45:00.003-04:00

Just when you think your child is finally old enough to spend some time playing with friends without your constant supervision, can fix their own snacks and can entertain themselves- it's time to get even more involved in their lives! You thought you could go back to relaxing a little , watching adult TV shows , and having adult only conversation.. Forget it. It's time to coach , attend performances, bus kids to activities and host sleepovers!!

The tween years, 8 to 12, can be smooth sailing for many kids , with 13 being a jump into the rough teenage moody years. For other kids, especially girls, the tween years can be the rocky beginning of the tumultuous teens. Either way a parent must be prepared for the teen years when kids crave independence and control of their lives and yet have displays of behavior that prove their immaturity.

How can a parent best prepare for the bumpy teen years?

The answer is to insure a close relationship in the tween years. If a tween enjoys and respects their parent, setting rules and getting compliance from a teen will be much easier.

Here are a few tips to help bond the parent and child relationship during the tween years

Ensure your tween has an opportunity to find activities besides school work and home leisure that are challenging and fun. The possibilities are numerous; sports, music, art, science , volunteer organizations, civic clubs etc. Make sure they try a variety until they settle on a few favorites. As a parent you must ensure they follow through with the commitment they make and most importantly you must get involved in helping to support the activity. The involvement can be simply attending performances, or keeping records, or running the whole show if you are so inclined. Your tween will be thrilled you are there and you will have lots to discuss at the dinner table.

Schedule daily time to talk to your tween. Ideally this is a meal time but could be bedtime or right after school. Your work schedule may dictate this time, but it needs to be every day. It needs to be a relaxed, non-rushed period when the two of you can just chat about life or problems or anything really. The point is to let the kid know you are available and you care.

Get to know your tweens friends and their parents. Allow the friends to be at your home frequently and include them in activities and fun. Your tween will want to stay at their homes and you want to know that environment is a safe and supervised home. Again, you are showing your kid that you care enough to get involved in their lives.

So, keep your tween busy in healthy activities, be a part of these activities and be available to listen and chat. Build a strong bond before you head into the teens years, the ride will be less "bumpy." ( there's that cute word again to describe the TEEN years LOL)

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Watch Out For Tween Trainers

2008-06-25T03:50:00.003-04:00

Tweens.........my my how they can TRAIN us to jump through hoops for them if we are not careful!
Then when we are sufficiently trained to please them in every possible way, (by now they are 18 and so pleased at our abilities to perform) we go out into the world and do our tricks and embarrass ourselves HORRIBLY!

Not me of course, I knew better.

This past weekend My dh and I went to my dd's college orientation program. Teens and parents in separate lectures and Q&A sessions of course! Kids learning stuff they don't think Mom knows,....... and parents being warned about stuff they should not let the teen know, they know. lol

Anyway, some of the "well trained" parents spoke up and asked questions that were very entertaining to the rest of us (smarter parents), and made complete fools of themselves!

"Do you have a laundry service I can get for my son?" NO

"Do you notify me if my daughters grades start to fall?" NO

"How many classes can they miss before they get in trouble?"

NO one cares if they miss class

"What time do the boys have to be out of the girls dorms?"

No one cares about this.

"What time are -'lights off"?

No time, in fact some students stay up all night

"I think the AC units next to the window are too noisy for my son to be able to sleep?"

He'll get use to it.

We smuggly giggled! along with many others. I'm sorry but did they think college was CAMP SUNSHINE! People...People... you must prepare your teens to face a real world where they set the time for chores and work ...and sleep(maybe) and deal with aggravation and ...and.. and the opposite sex in their dorms ........at night OMG!

Here's one of my mantras TEACH TWEENS TO DO THEIR OWN LAUNDRY !

Read this very funny post about learning when you are being duped at verybusymomwith4

Evaluate tween behavior and attitude at A Parents Guide to The Teens Brain

And beware all you helicopter parents college is a NO Fly Zone ............ LOL

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Pretty Sassy Straw Purse for Tween Fashionistas

2008-06-23T01:22:00.006-04:00

Time for a new fun craft for Tweens and Moms!

I picked up these very cute straw purses at the dollar store. They were lined with fabric and Only One Dollar - how do they make them so cheap? They did have some very tacky sequin decor on them which I easily removed by snipping a few threads. I chose a "Spring" design and a "Tropical" design but feel free to do your own thing as they say. Remember Tweens are crazy for choosing their own style and also LOVE crafts that are FASHION related. Teaching them to create their own style can save LOTS OF MONEY too, because a girl who can design, glue and sew loves the individuality of her wardrobe and often avoids the "cookie cutter" expensive fashions worn by the masses.

Wander through a Michaels or A.C. Moore craft store and you can get ideas for the design style you like. Browse through the jewelry and applique isles and something will "Grab Your Fancy" ........................Exactly what is "your fancy"? (Strange cliche )

Anyway Have fun.................. AND GOGO GLUE GUN!........................

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Tween Lolitas - ???

2008-06-15T06:28:00.002-04:00

Our girls are growing up WAY TOO FAST! I don't mean......"it was only yesterday she started first grade and now she's going off to college..........sniff-sniff".(I'll be going through this in 2 months!) What I mean is why are tweens wearing .......well -- sleazy skin bearing outfits, highlighting their hair, loading up on makeup and shopping excessively ...

Hmmm.....where do tweens get their money?

Who allows them to wear pants with "Hottie" or "Juicy" plastered across their butt?

Who forks over the $50 at the salon to dye their hair?

Who thinks this is CUTE? Parents who are very ignorant of what it's like to control a teenager who dresses this way. Parents who don't realize the patterns of dress you allow at 10 will carry into the teen years. Your "cute" little, scantily dressed little girl becomes a partially naked, provocative women being watched all too closely by MEN of all ages.

What tweens want is to dress cool and stylish and this can be done without becoming a Lolita.
Here are some ideas:

Layer tops. Tanks and Camis under low cut T-shirts or shirts with large armholes or stylish cutouts. Stylish without a skin show.

Tights and shorts under mini skirts, dresses or holey jeans. "Funky"- no butt cheeks peeking out.

Leotards or body suits under low riding jeans. Cool and no belly bared.

Let them wear weird combinations of colors, patterns, inside out or upside down. It's an expression of Independence, and not demeaning to themselves. Allow fun and crazy accessories. Belts, hats, jewelry, etc. My dd wore black cotton gloves with the fingers cut out for several weeks to middle school. Why? ......... When I asked I got the eye roll, which we all know means " I cannot possibly explain this to some one old like you" It was a Michael Jackson look which was popular when I was a weird teenager. I should have told her that ............she would have trashed the gloves immediately! HA!

Let them use temporary dye to put streaks or more in their hair. Cheap and fun!

Makeup I say NO but you decide on that one.

Shopping as a hobby! This I will leave for another post because I will take off on a rant If I'm not careful. Tweens should be doing hundreds of other things for entertainment, things that build their self esteem and self image. Browse through a girl scout badge book. The skills girl scouts learn and explore are incredibly fun and teach them Independence and to value themselves and each other. I am a big fan of the G.S.A. program.

You control the shopping and fashion of your tween. Be with her when she shops. If you don't like her outfit - don't allow her to leave the house until she changes. She will fuss and whine and you must ignore this and refuse to debate the issue. Very tough sometimes,.... but you will teach her to respect herself and your rules. In the teen years she will be smarter about her self image and continue to respect your opinion.

COME ON.................KARMA!

2008-06-11T05:12:00.007-04:00

OMG I am so excited - I'll probably jinx myself by blogging about it but..................BlogHer is having it's third annual conference, BlogHer'08, in San Francisco on July 18 and they are having a contest. They are giving away tote bags to the 1000+ attendees. Many of these ladies are the top bloggers in the country or maybe the world. The bag of course has the name of the conference, sponsers, date etc, blah-blah-blah........boring stuff on it.

More importantly, they are having a contest to determine the tag line to go on the bag, and I entered. and my submission was chosen as one of the 6 to be voted on in the next 10 days. The winning tag line will go on the bag as well as the .............are you ready .................The name and URL of the blog of the winner!!! I'm already envisioning it

GoGoGlueGunFun.com

up in lights ............I mean on the bags ...........and everyone ( all 1000) saying

" I have to go check out that blog with the cute name"

How cool would that be .............WAY COOL!!

Here's what I have won so far in my lifetime
1- A free rewiring of an old lamp ( I am not joking- that's why I remember it clearly)
2-A Pumpkin - I do love halloween
3-I was May Day princess in 2nd and 3rd grade - I was a cutie then....
4- A Fondue Set........well sort of, it was missing the skewers (used?)

And that's it for my whole 54 years .................I'm due for a WIN don't you think? Come oooooooooon Karma!........... I've been a dedicated nurse for 25+ years!

Oh,................ and here's my tag line

"Girls Gone World Wide", .................. cuter than me in 2nd grade!

So please go over to BlogHer the fantastic place for women bloggers to learn and chat and share ther wisdom................... and vote for my tag line !

Valuable Shadow Boxes

2008-06-04T00:26:00.005-04:00

Here's a Very Cool Project I found at the Comox Valley Kids Blog and want to share - I usually only post my own crafts, those for tweens that are "keepsake" items - not paper plates, paint and pasta. Simple and fun to do but usually in the circular file in a week. Tweens are capable of making things that are useful and attractive and keepable - Is that a word ? They build huge amounts of self confidence when something they create becomes keepable (If spell check sayes it's not a word then I beg to differ).

My Design-A- Doll kits, Dress A Bunny, Rattlesnake Toy, puppets. etc. are all things to be kept and enjoyed and that tells the tween --

"You made something of value and You are valuable"

The shadow boxes can house lots of treasures such as; nature collections, school year mementos, concert or movie tickets & playbills, childhood mementos, old jewelry & watches, weird junk tweens won't throw away and you think is clutter etc. Think about what souvenirs you have stored in drawers or boxes that would make a nice display. You know tweens think your stuff is boring clutter! (LOL) Drag them out of hiding and turn them into artwork!

Comox Valley Kids Shadow Box Craft Tell them I sent you!

It's So Fine To Dine and Whine

2008-06-02T06:03:00.000-04:00

How important is it to have a "family all together sit at the table with no TV on dinner"............. every day? Well first let's think about what we are gaining. Of course the food - which can be eaten alone or on the go. The "no TV" - that's always a good thing but can be done individually. The camaraderie and conversation................Aha! this is the true value of a family dinner with NO TV, I repeat NO TV. Look at each other, talk to each other - very important stuff. I work (as a nurse) in many different people's homes. I am surprised by how many families never sit at a table together. They eat at the counter - kids alone, TV blasting away. They eat in their bedrooms separately and alone. Parents eat separately or at a different time. Very strange to me. Any way with our busy work and activity schedules it is true that a group meal is hard to orchestrate on a daily basis. Try to aim for 2-3 group meals a week or at least one parent with the kids at the majority of the meals. Whatever works for your family.

It is so important to listen to your tweens. Let them unload the stress or highlight or their day. " How was school?" and "What did you do today?" are too cliche. Try " Rate today on a scale of 1 to 10? follow with " why so low/high?" .......Or " What's the next big project you have due?" Give them something to whine about - they love that and they will start talking. Listen to them now and they will learn to trust you with their worries. Don't judge and don't give advise unless they ask for it , just let them vent and let them draw their own conclusions. Offer encouragement ie; " why do you think that happened?" Or "What would have been better?" If they trust you now with their angst, they will talk to you much more as a teenager and that's the goal here people. We're working hard now to help make the teen years less "Bumpy" remember ? Bumpy is such a cute word to describe the teen years (LOL)

To Vaccinate or Not Vaccinate - That is The Question?

2008-05-28T02:52:00.002-04:00

So much controversy over an injection to prevent certain types of cervical cancer. As a nurse of over 20 years I gave this a lot of thought -- A LOT! I read about it, talked about it, read some more, thought some more , talked some more ( sorry,I'm a wishy washy Pisces) And I finally decided "no" simply because it's just too new and unproven to be safe. Also I became very skeptical when the drug companies began their media blitz and we all know that is just about making $$$$$$$$$$$. My dd is 18 and she has the facts and can get it herself if she wants to. However she is a shot chicken.

Anyway I found this on So Sioux Me and had to post it.

A mother who radiates self-love

and self-acceptance

vaccinates her daughter

against low self-esteem.

Naomi Wolf

Don't you love it?

Tracee Sioux has great ideas on her blog about raising independent girls go read and enjoy it.

Dress Up Doll Clones

2008-05-25T05:24:00.005-04:00

Ok so it's time for a grumpy post and here's whats causing it:

Barbie and Bratz dolls. In all the Barbie videos every character has the same barbie body and face shape. The whole video line should be called the "Barbie Clone Zone " It makes no sense. You can add variety to the female form and still have them all meet the "10" standard our crazy society thinks is ideal . Look at any professional cheerleader squad - there's a variety of women's shapes and faces. Mattel thinks the only difference between women is their clothes and hairstyles! I loved Midge, remember her, Barbies BFF( apparently not forever she is no longer made)- she had freckles and a rounder face, a normal person "look".

I can't comment on the Bratz doll stories or videos because their facial design is so extreme with make-up they look like ugly caricatures of prostitutes. So abnormal looking I can't get past my first impression to learn anything more about them. I did see an ad of a movie coming out about them - all I can say is YUK!
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Is there a line of commercial dolls with variations in face and body shapes? Maybe not but these two just drive me crazy because of the "perfect body" image that makes girls think they are lacking in their appearance. I urge Moms to avoid these dolls and find something better for their dds to enjoy. How about dolls of real people and videos of real women? Think of any?

Princess Jewel Dress Up Dolls

2008-05-21T00:41:00.003-04:00

Does your girl love playing with dolls?

(Do you? Tell the truth....)

There are so many free online dress up doll games. Have your daughters discovered them yet? Just google "dress up dolls" and have fun exploring all the sites!
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How would she like to design a doll she can keep and enjoy after the computer is turned off? That's exactly what our Design-A-Doll kits are -a dress up doll craft that you can make at home. The large variety of supplies included in every kit allow every doll to be totally unique. The princess' above are just two examples of what can be made. Check out these and other styles at Candee Crafts.com

Tame That Tween Tongue

2008-05-20T03:07:00.005-04:00

Has your fun loving adorable child turned into an unrecognizable fresh mouthed "Tween"? Do you wonder what went wrong? Did I make some horrible parental mistake to cause my child to morph into this alien nasty being? Her friends don’t act like this…………….or do they?
Rest assured you are not alone. Most all kids change in the tween years, that's 8 to 12, and develop a testy unpredictable attitude towards you - " THE PARENTAL UNIT". They begin to see the freedoms and power of adulthood and they want to grow up as fast as possible. But of course they cannot speed up time and so they are very impatient and frustrated and they speak and act out towards you. You, who makes the rules and they see as the person who won't let them have any fun.
Why can't I stay up all night? Why can't I go shopping every day? Why can't I watch TV all day? Why can't I walk to my friends house at night? And on and on and on…….. Of course you must say "NO" a lot and then the fresh and sometimes nasty tongue gets out of hand.
Try these tips to help curb the tween tongue.
1. During an afternoon, when there is harmony in the household, have a "sit down at the table" talk with the tween and both parents. Let them know you will not tolerate rude language from them and they will be disciplined for it. Be specific about what exactly crosses the line, and what the punishment will be. You will need to allow some behaviors from them that are acceptable expressions of frustration such as eye rolling, deep sighs, refusing to look at you , etc. These behaviors are not horrible, just very annoying.
2. Stick to the plan and don’t argue with them. When they are rude don't get emotional. Wait awhile until the tension has subsided and then tell them they have earned a punishment of_______ (whatever you decide is appropriate). It's very important that you don't get caught up into arguing with them. Once you tell them "No you are not allowed to do that because_____________", walk away from them. If they keep nagging, ignore them and get away from them. Answering them once is enough. They enjoy the arguing, believe it or not, because they feel in control of you, so simply refuse to do it..
3. Give your tween some additional privileges as long as she has been behaving . Allow a little later bedtime. Allow her more of her own choices in clothing and room decor. Extend curfews for special parties and activities. These little freedoms send a message - That mature behavior has it's rewards.
4. Assign your tween some household chores. Chores teach two things. They learn that growing up means assuming some of the work of managing a home and family. They also build self esteem because they are doing something that is important.
5. Together with your tween, plan and do some fun family activities. Even if they act like this is boring or they just "don't want to", make them do it anyway. They may act stubborn at first but they will soon forget to be grumpy and have a good time. Let them bring a friend along if you think this will encourage participation. Your tween needs to know that you enjoy being with them, even if they act like they don’t care. Deep down inside they do care very much.
The tween years bring on new challenges for parents.
The fresh words they use can be shocking and hurtful to parents. A combination of discipline for the rude behavior and allowing some beginning adult responsibilities can curb this problem. Let the tween know the plan, stick to it, refuse to argue, allow some grown up responsibilities, and enjoy fun family time as well. Keep the parent and tween relationship both respectful and loving. The difficult teen years are next and you want to head into age 13 and beyond with a solid foundation.

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A New Dress Up Doll Game That's Fun and Beneficial

2008-05-14T05:25:00.004-04:00

I found something new and interesting for tweens to enjoy and benefit from. It's an online networking game site about fashion and dressing up dolls, where girls can be a designer or a store owner and learn all about the "biz". Designing, planning, purchasing, marketing and managing the finances of a business.- all pretend of course. Parents and teachers are "liking it" not to mention the 58 thousand plus tweens who are signed up and playing.

Google "dress up dolls" and you will find tons of free games that, to me, are just click and point coloring games. This new site FashionFantasyGame.com is truly teaching the girls some skills about running a business. They also must network with other store owners and designers to succeed. This is wonderful for them to learn the benefits of camaraderie and teamwork between women. Women in the real business world need to learn to work together and not undermine each other, and this game supports this concept.

A few drawbacks.........You have to pay a fee,( $30.00 for 6 months) to get to use jewelry, hats and handbags in the designing phase and become a VIP member. Pretty cheap fun IMO.

The three models you choose from are 3 different skin tones but all the same body shape- "tall and skinny" Not at all realistic which makes our tweens AGAIN feel like the don't measure up unless they are this exact body type. On the other hand if they had a chubby or plus size model choice, no one would pick it anyway. I have a doll design party biz, as you may know, and when I first started out I offered 3 body types. Every single kid chose the tall thin dolls and the other dolls sat sadly alone and ignored. After 6 months I eliminated them from the stock. Those of us who are short or chubby or plus size can live life to the fullest and be ecstatic.(I am) But if we could start from scratch and choose our appearance............tall and thin would be it!

Third concern- the site is a marketing tool for a clothing line for tweens and that's cool except several pieces of the line (skirt, shorts and pants) are displayed worn with the waistline 3 inches below the bellybutton and this is too naked and provocative for ages 6 to 12. They are not swim suits. Not what I like to see on girls or women of any age but over 18 it's their choice. I know I have an 18 year old! Luckily her "nude under belly look" is rare and for the beach, but when she was a tween and up to 17 we had a few fights over how much skin should be displayed for all the world to see. We had one big fight in a store in Key West. At age 12 she wanted a tropical wrap around skirt that just covered the "pubes" ! I refused to allow it and she had a "snit fit" that drug on through dinner...............but she never asked me again for that style. Yeah! One point for the Mom.

Mother's Day Fun Craft - Easy and Homemade

2008-05-10T04:23:00.004-04:00

I just realized how bad people might feel who read my last post and can't "be with" their Mom on Mother's Day because they live to far away, or have to work or some one's sick or a lot of other reasons. The next best thing is to make her something special, so she can feel you are with her. Crafting for Mom is not difficult, especially with a glue gun. Here's the simplest idea in the world.

Mother's Day Closet Sachets

Go to the fabric store and buy a quarter yard of some really pretty fabric, and 2 yards of matching ribbon. Get something you know your Mom would like- her favorite color or flower or animal etc. Next go to the flower store and buy some lavender or any other flower/fragrance you know she loves. Cut the fabric into squares of 4" by 4". Glue 3 sides closed and then stuff them with the lavender and glue the 4th side closed. Cut the ribbon into 6" long pieces and glue each end to one corner of the stuffed squares, making a loop. These can now be hung over the hangers in Moms closet to bring a lovely fragrance to her clothes.

Once the scent fades, she can spray them with her favorite perfume and hang them up again!

I have some sachets my Mom made for me many years ago and I refresh them every time I want a little pick me up surprise in my closet. Kids, tweens and teens can help with this craft and don't forget to wrap them up in pretty package and use the left over flowers to decorate the Mother's Day gift.

The funny thing in my house is that I share a closet with my dh! I wonder if he enjoys the closet as much as I do?

Mother's Day Gift Ideas

2008-05-07T03:22:00.004-04:00

I'm cheap I admit it. It's partly because I'm craft wise and want to make things of better quality than I see in the stores. Also because I can't stand to see people who shop as a pastime when they don't need anything. I hate materialistic people who buy designer purses and clothes, expensive jewelry, fake nails and hair extensions, ............ such a waste of money. Women can be pretty and happy without this over priced crap. I'm a sales shopper and I buy quality things but not designer s_ _ _. Any way I saw this commercial where the women says "What gift should I get my Mom on Mothers' Day? She has everything and says she doesn't want anything?" Then she proceeds to shop anyway. Hmmmmm..........how about doing what she asks. STOP THE SHOPPING LADIES ! If your Mom truly is loaded with all the comforts of style and home then skip the boring Mother's day gift and find another way to celebrate with her. Try just spending time with her, take her to lunch, have her over for a meal and relaxation, go to a chic flick together, a concert, a play ...........you get my point. Mom will remember the fun and laughter you share way more than one more duplicate standard"Mother's day gift" item to put in the closet or jewelry box.

If after all my rambling you still have to buy Mom a gift .....here's one she'll always remember!

Parents & Tweens Take Note- Some Nightmares Are Celebrity Realtiy

2008-05-05T05:17:00.008-04:00

Ever remember having a nightmare where you find yourself in a public place, like work or school, and you realize your in your underwear? You wake up and your so relieved it was just a dream. Thank God.... Totally embarrassing!!!!! I personally have horrible dreams where my teeth fall out. No big Freudian enigma here.............I'm scared to death of the dentist. Being a nurse this is really embarrassing too..... Anyway, worse than being at school or work half naked would be say ...........teaching in a classroom or speaking to a large crowd, on a runway, Or MAYBE AT YOUR WEDDING! AND YOUR FAMOUS, AND THE CAMERAS ARE FLASHING IN YOUR FACE! OMG Is she loony bin bound? Mariah Carey is it another nervous breakdown? No she's smiling. GIRL, GIRL, GIRL, What were you thinking ...Oh never mind it's a celebrity and I forgot they do not think rationally, or at all.

Moms I beg you, start a file for your tweens called " stupid things you should never do in public" (note to yourselves - lots of these things are great fun in very private company- smirk) Put in most of Madonnas' costumes (and movies), add Britney's crotch shot, Cher's see thru Oscar dress and Mariah Carey's Wedding Gown .....I mean no gown!

I've got it ....she's really starring in a movie parody called "Please Runaway Bride" or " My Big Fat Half-Naked Wedding".

It's so demeaning when women make sexual tarts of themselves, and a BRIDE! Tell me what you think -any doubt, over the top?

Billy Ray Cyrus Causes Achy Breaky Heartache in Tween Fans

2008-04-30T01:06:00.009-04:00

Poor Miley. Another nice young girl being led through the world by idiot parents in the entertainment biz. Any responsible parent with any honest concern for their daughter would not leave their child unattended at photo shoot, by a famous photographer known for unusual and often provocative photos. One news report said the parents left the shoot before the half naked pic was taken, but her grandmother and a teacher were there. Are they stupid too. If a photographer wants to take an artsy suggestive half nude pic of a 15 year old child star............#1 NO - she's too young ...................AND #2 The Media , Vanity Fair, will exploit her to sell mags $$$$$(and they did), so DOUBLE NO!!

And didn't they see the pics before publication? You bet they did! Who in their right mind would not be able to predict the outrage of her fans - innocent tweens. Again the message to tweens that nudity and sexualizing kids is OK. Calling all parents............explain to your upset kids AGAIN, how this is so wrong for a young girl, and how people make mistakes.

AND what is with the picture of Miley with her Dad - no cozy loving father & daughter pose here. They look estranged, like they have had a fight. Sorry Ms. Leibovitz you get an "F" from me on this project. Actually this picture was foreshadowing of the day after vanity fair hit the stands! She should be at odds with her Dad, He truly let her down by not protecting her from the selfish money grubbing media. I encourage everyone to tell him he screwed up and I hope his "achy breaky heart" feels like S_ _ _ !

Pretty Up the Bunny - Part Two

2008-04-28T23:02:00.003-04:00

"Tomorrow" got away from me,while I was visiting other blogs and chatting away - It's so much fun . Mid-Century Modern Moms is a new favorite. Stay away if you don't want to know how crazy the home gets with teenagers in it. Here's part two of the bunny craft.............

Dress a Bunny ( Plushie of course)

2008-04-21T04:22:00.004-04:00

Time for a new craft video and your tween will love this one. She will get to chose fabric and trims and design an oufit for her favorite stuffed bunny, monkey or doll. Be sure to let her make all the color choices and do the mixing and matching HERSELF. The fun and playing here is the joy and sharing of time together .......... NOT producing a perfect looking finished project. Mom, you can design one yourself if you want a "pretty perfect bunny" to add to next years Easter decor. Due to the 10 min. limit on youtube this project required a Part One- making the dress and Part Two-decorating the dress, headband and shoes. Part Two will be up tomorrow.

Be sure to give your tween lots of compliments on her project, even if it's not exactly how you would do it. Compliments on a project like this build self confidence and self esteem.

Just relaxing and playing with your kids is so much fun and so important. They need to have unstructured unrushed free time with you. AND, YOU NEED unrushed play time too - it's a great stress buster for busy Moms. As kids turn into tweens and teens their play time can develop into mutually shared activities with parents that are more sophisticated both mentally and physically such as art projects, games and sports. Crafts that are keepsakes and not just paper and glue items for the frig door are a perfect example.

My daughter loved crafts as a tween and I must admit sometimes turned out a project that was cuter and jazzier than mine! My son I took to the raquetball court to "teach" him thebasics of the game and he whooped my butt the first time!!

Supplies:
Critter
fabric (jersey,knit,fleece etc. non fraying)
measuring tape,
sissors,
pencil or chalk marker
trims (flowers, ribbon, buttons,etc.
fun foam

And of Course Your GOGO GLUE GUN ..............HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!