tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6272246.post-48782865695698771882007-03-03T02:46:00.000-08:002007-04-11T20:09:11.194-07:00I learned this skill the hard way; I came from an abusive family where wrongness was seen as incontrovertible proof of moral failing and absolute worthlessness, so I figured out at an early age how to stop being wrong in self-defense. Don't worry, it's easier than it looks; heck, 95% of wrongness can be eliminated by just following the 1st rule:<br /><br /><br />1) If you don't know anything about a topic, DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.<br /><br />We have such an intense desire to be seen as one of the group that when the conversation switches to something we know nothing about we have the overwhelming urge to keep babbling; this goes x10 if someone asks us directly about it and suddenly we're in the spotlight. If you try to say something that sounds like what the others have said, or that you THINK is somehow related to the topic, you've got a reasonable chance of getting away with it, which is why everyone does it... but every time you do it you take a major risk of being wrong. <br /><br /><br />2) Remember that knowing a little about a topic is NOT the same as knowing ALL about it.<br /><br />It's SO tempting to extrapolate from what you DO know and try to make it seem like your expertise is far greater than it actually is; the payoff is being admired for being so knowledgeable... but the downside is that anyone who knows more than you do can slam you for being wrong.<br /><br /><br />3) Refrain from arguing an issue with someone who knows more about it than you, OR is quoting someone who does.<br /><br />If you disagree with someone who knows more, it's almost certain that you're wrong, no matter how POSITIVE you are of your rightness. If you can't bear leaving their assertions unchallenged, say something like "Ok, I'm confused now-let's look it up"; that way, if the other person's right, you won't be wrong because you never SAID anything to the contrary.<br /><br />And; the wisdom of those who know more than you stays the same when they're being quoted. It shouldn't even be necessary to say that, but all too often someone will argue vehemently against the words of experts because the person they're arguing with is NOT an expert, which they believe in some misty way cancels out the experts' authority.<br /><br /><br />4) Understand that using "I feel" does NOT shield you from being wrong.<br /><br />Some folks think that, since "feelings are never wrong," if they preface their comments with "I feel" they won't be disputed... but it just ain't so. First of all, if you follow "I feel" with anything other than an EMOTION you're automatically wrong; secondly, "I feel" doesn't magically prevent people from seeing and calling you on your wrongness.<br /><br /><br />5) Understand that phrasing something as an opinion doesn't shield you either.<br /><br />As with "I feel," some folks think that stating something as an opinion means they can't be contradicted; in reality, if there are facts about an issue, and you speak contrary to them, it changes nothing if your statement was framed as an opinion... you're still wrong, no matter how long you've held the opinion or how strongly you feel about it.<br /><br /><br />6) If you're not sure you got your info from an expert, quote your source rather than using that info as facts.<br /><br />You hear about something on a blog, in a magazine, from your brother, etc, and later on when someone brings up that topic you repeat whatever you heard as if it were a fact... but if it's NOT, you're now wrong. Instead of passing on such info as if you were relaying facts, say "Some blogger/a magazine/my brother SAID..."; the blogger, magazine or brother may be shown to be wrong, but YOU are NOT wrong... all you did was quote someone.<br /><br /><br />7) Be honest with yourself about the quality of your memory.<br /><br />Do an objective analysis as to how good your memory is, both long and short term, in general and about specific things like names and dates, and use that analysis to judge the likelihood that what you're about to give as factual info might be misremembered; if you're not 100% sure your memory can be trusted for that fact, say that, while you think it MIGHT be X, it also might NOT be X so you need to double-check... and whatever the true answer is, you never made a claim so you're not wrong.<br /><br /><br />8) Remember that some facts change over time.<br /><br />For things like the current scientific dogma or the "news" about if celebrity X is pregnant or just gaining weight (if you read science magazines you know that the former changes even more than the latter), say "The last thing I heard/read about that was..."; that way, if the facts are different now, you're not wrong... you just told what you heard or read.<br /><br /><br />9) Don't label differing opinions as "wrong."<br /><br />A real opinion, in other words on a topic where there's no factually-provable right answer, CAN'T be wrong... and if you say it is, YOU are wrong. No matter how strongly you feel about YOUR opinion, just say you disagree, and that's it.<br /><br /><br />10) Think twice before attempting to prove someone wrong.<br /><br />If you get to this point, you've challenged the other person's assertion and they've held firm, which suggests that they think they've got facts to back it up; assuming they're not an idiot, you likely have a 50% chance of being wrong... why take the risk?<br /><br /><br />Anyone can do this stuff, but virtually no one does, so if YOU adopt these strategies you'll have an edge when trying to impress people... and in marriage, hehehehehe.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6272246-4878286569569877188?l=omniverse.blogspot.com'/></div>Omnihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01535142570254270177noreply@blogger.com