My Brother, The Thief

2010-01-05T09:22:00.000-05:00

Looking Out For Pedestrians

When I was in drivers' ed, I remember how our teacher stressed to us, as new drivers, that when we are beginning to enter an intersection, we aren't to do so until we've looked both ways (twice). The most important part of looking both ways was (obviously) to look for cars, but part of looking both ways was to look for pedestrians.

I've noticed that people don't walk as much these days, and maybe this is what contributes to the following: I've noticed that drivers often don't look for pedestrians. I've noticed this as a runner (where I'm always vigilant when crossing streets or driveways), but I've noticed it even more as a father, walking with my boys. Drivers just aren't on the lookout for pedestrians.

It's important (as a pedestrian) that I look out for drivers who aren't looking out for me. But it's a reminder that it's extremely important as a driver to look out for pedestrians, even when you don't often see people walking around town.

I was thinking about this on my run last night (after a passenger had to alert a driver of my presence).

Sometimes we get to areas in our lives where we haven't been tempted in some area for a long time. Maybe you used to struggle in some area and you knew you had to remain vigilant all the time, but those struggles haven't surfaced in a long time, and you've stopped looking out for them. Like the alcoholic who used to stay away from bars because he knew he'd be tempted, but he hasn't had a drink in such a long time, so why not stop by the bar with his friends - after all, alcohol isn't a problem anymore, is it? Or the married person who knows he or she will never have an affair, so even though they know they shouldn't be spending so much time alone with someone of the opposite sex, they think it could never happen to them, and they lose their vigilance.

The lesson is that we need to remain vigilant. Even (especially) in areas where we think we're in the clear. Take an extra look for pedestrians today.

2010-01-04T15:35:00.000-05:00

Insight From Running

If you've been reading my blog, it shouldn't come as a surprise to you that I am an avid runner. A few years ago I decided to run a marathon. I trained all summer and early fall to run in mid-to-late October. Then a friend asked me to run another one in April. This meant I had to do all those weeks of training through the winter. I religiously trained, though I spent many, many miles going around and around and around the track at the YMCA (hey, it beats the treadmill!).

I logged a lot of Y miles over the past four years, especially in the winter. This year, however, we canceled our Y membership - mostly because of the time it takes us to go to and from the gym. It's a good 25-30 minutes each way, meaning I'd have to block out at least an extra hour for a workout.

So, as long as the roads aren't ice covered, I'm running outside.

One thing I've found is that what I run in is of utmost importance. I have several pairs of running tights (I've been wearing the warmest pair this week), but anything above 35 is shorts weather. Otherwise my legs get too hot. On top, I have several different running shirts (technical fabric - good for wicking away sweat), and when it's extremely cold I'll wear a jacket, too.

Add gloves and a headband or hat to that and I'm fine. Right?

Not really.

This past week my face has been the coldest I can remember. Yesterday I thought my cheeks might crack. I think I'm going to get a running face mask of some kind. Preferably sooner rather than later. The problem has been big enough that I don't end up running nearly as far as I want (nor as fast). In fact, as I write this, I am thinking about going out for a run, but I just don't want to expose my face to the wind.

What does this have to do with anything?

I can get everything else right, but if I'm neglecting one area, my life won't be the life it was meant to be. If I do everything right in public but neglect my personal time with the LORD, I'm leaving my face exposed to the wind and cold. If I'm engaged in sinful behavior or sinful thought patterns, I'm likewise exposing my face to the elements, no matter how well I'm dressed otherwise.

When Jesus told his followers to "be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect" (Matthew 5:48), he was telling them: if you want to follow me, you'll have to be all in. You can't compartmentalize your life and trust me in some and trust in yourself in others. You can't have it both ways. You're going to have to follow me with everything. Dress yourself completely in me. Otherwise your life won't be the life God meant for it to be.

So, how are you dressed for the weather? And how is your life dressed for following Jesus?

2010-01-02T10:25:00.000-05:00

I'm Glad I'm Not Out Here By Myself

I remember starting out in ministry, when Sundays were painful. By painful, I mean they were extremely difficult. They usually included 14 hour work days with a short break in the middle. I had to wear multiple hats and had to change them on the fly.

I was burned out, over stressed, and struggling. One thing I didn't recognize at all was how little I was actually worshiping God. I was doing so much and being pulled in so many different directions that Sundays were anything but a time of celebrating God. Though we had musical excellence, we weren't a singing church, and that was an extremely hard transition from seminary.

When I first started there, I was there for one week, and then the senior pastor left for his three week vacation. Then the church secretary left for a two week vacation. I was left in charge for three weeks with little to no help. That was awful. I got the impression (and was told outright) that if I wanted things done well, I had to do them. Later at that church, I was told that I wasn't doing things well enough, so I needed to do everything and I needed to do it all differently. But that's another story...

So I moved on to another church, and I was the solo pastor. Something I guess I'd learned by osmosis was that the only time someone other than the pastor preached was when the pastor was on vacation. Only then would he relinquish "his" pulpit. I lived that out in New Knoxville, only giving opportunities when I was gone. That was a mistake, and I am sorry for doing that, because we had a very able retired pastor as well as a just-as-capable (and homegrown) certified lay speaker who could preach whenever I called on them.

One value I've been trying to live out since is something I learned by not seeing it practiced is that it demonstrates to other on my team that I support them if I show up. Yes, that means listening to the sermons of those who work with me, even though I am the lead pastor. Quite honestly, I enjoy sitting and listening to Chad or Rudy preach. They bring the Word of God through the power of the Holy Spirit, and I get to support them and listen to the words God has given them.

But that isn't even the most important part of not being on my own. I think about a crisis in the church and having to come back early from vacation (after thanksgiving) but honestly Rudy was doing so much work behind the scenes that it made my work a lot easier (not that it was easy, but it was better having someone working with me). And then there is the factor of bouncing ideas off one another and leading in different areas of gifting and handing off other responsibilities (this "handing off" doesn't just go "down" the chain - if there's something that Chad or Rudy can't or shouldn't be doing, I'll pick it up, too). Like when one of them preaches, if I'm there, I will do other aspects of the service to allow them to "just" preach (I'll do the greeting and announcements and prayer, so they don't have to worry about what comes next, which is incidentally why I've always got the bulletin/program in my hand, because I don't remember what's next even though our services look pretty similar every week).

Above that, though, the most important reason I'm not out here by myself is prayer. We try to pray together weekly as an office staff, not a "staff meeting" where we are discussing what's going on in the church and office and so forth, but prayer for each other and for the world. We have established an openness and honesty on staff where we can (and do!) support each other prayerfully and that carries over into the ministry. When the church staff is praying for one another, it does great things for the church. I think it's probably the most important thing that can go on behind the scenes in a church.

2009-12-26T21:50:00.000-05:00

Christmas Morning in the Vinson House

If a picture is worth a thousand words, you've just been given a six thousand word essay.

2009-12-25T15:30:00.000-05:00

Christmas Eve Services

This was the scene at our Christmas Eve services last night. Our kids were the "acolytes" who lit the candles before the (second) service at 7:30 They were so proud of themselves. Andrew really wanted to pass the offering plates, too, as you can probably see from the photo.

They were very serious in their trip down the aisle with the light of Christ.

Right up onto the stage they marched, ready to light the candles.

They only needed a little help from dad.

Here is Andrew, hoping that he will get to collect the offering. He had already been practicing lighting the candles over and over again and was super excited to get to do it!

Merry Christmas, from our family to yours! We hope the joy of Christ's birth is renewed in you this holiday season and throughout the new year!

2009-12-22T08:54:00.000-05:00

Wondering What to Say?

I had one of those nights last night. One where I woke up in the middle of the night, stressed about getting everything that's on my plate done. I won't bore you with all of the details of things I need to do, because I'm sure most of you are or have been in the same boat. But one detail is pertinent: I'd been struggling with what to preach on Christmas Eve.

I'm sure I'm not the only one; many (if not most?) pastors struggle to say something unique and relevant on Christmas Eve and Easter. We want to figure out new and fresh ways at Christmas to tell of the birth of Jesus Christ and at Easter to tell of His resurrection.

Yesterday I was puzzling over a sermon that just would not write itself. I had come up with what I thought was a really good idea (which I'm still going to stick into my "idea bank" to preach another time) but it just wasn't coming along at all.

This morning in my prayers, I asked God to help me know what I should preach. As I prayed, the sermon idea immediately came into my head. Of course, about 180 degrees away from what I'd already been struggling to write.

Then when I opened my igoogle homepage this morning (that's a page that has all of my Google applications all in one place; my Google Reader (blog reader), my gmail, weather, news, etc), the first item on my reader was a blog post by Perry Noble.

In it, he was talking about how his little daughter repeats everything he says. Then he wrote this:

Hey pastor…are you stressing out about what you are going to say for your upcoming Christmas service?

Why not just do what my little girl does…just listen to your Father and then repeat what He says!

What a great reminder.

2009-12-21T08:12:00.000-05:00

Jonathan Lost a Tooth!

2009-12-19T15:43:00.001-05:00

Restaurant Review: Fabian's

Our family purchased the entertainment book as part of a fundraiser for Jonathan and Andrew's preschool, and when we have a day off together and are going out to eat, we try to go somewhere new (with special offers from said entertainment book).

Friday this was our plan: we headed for the Columbus public library in the morning, had pizza for lunch at Fabian's (50% off a pizza), and then went ice skating.

This post is about Fabian's. We got there shortly after 11:30, and we found an empty restaurant. Only the bartender was there. We had the run of the place (literally,after we put in our order). The boys thoroughly enjoyed the SouthPark pinball machine while we waited.

The decor was Chicago (think Al Capone pictures with a few reminders of the Bears, the Cubs, and the White Sox - you could tell that we weren't actually in Chicago because there were both Cubs and Sox memorabilia together in the same place). One wall was Christmas ornamented - a little out of place, I thought.

On to the food: we ordered garlic bread as an appetizer. The garlic bread itself was the usual - we all liked it - but the unusual thing was that they served it with some delicious pizza sauce (on the side). When I tasted the dipping sauce, I knew that the pizza would be good.

Fabian's bills itself as a "Chicago Style" pizza place, and, well, Tara and I have lived in Chicago, and we know Chicago style pizza. We (honestly) weren't expecting much. We checked the menu and ordered the Italian specialty pizza (pepperoni, capicola, sausage, Italian beef) - Chicago style.

When it came out, it looked Chicago style. Deep dish, full of cheese, sauce, and toppings. I mean really full. Packed. And the taste... I was suddenly transported back almost 20 years and I was back in college, enjoying the taste of authentic Chicago pizza. The crust was delicious, flaky, and buttery. The sauce was loaded with garlic - not overdone, mind you, but enough that you knew you'd had garlic. The meats: delicious. My mouth is watering as I write this. One piece was enough to fill me up. And I ate left-overs for dinner as well.

I was surprised that such a good restaurant wasn't jam-packed by noon on a weekday. The food was fantastic. One of the best pizzas I have had in years. Maybe Columbus just doesn't "get" Chicago style pizza. Or maybe they're just haven't heard of Fabian's yet.

(tip: if you go on a weekday between 3 and 7 pm, they have some great happy hour deals)

2009-12-14T11:59:00.000-05:00

Leading Through Tough Times

These past couple of weeks have been difficult, to say the least. To have to address an affair between two friends and church leaders is never a fun or easy thing, and to even imagine moving on as a church was extremely painful.

Then in the midst of dealing with that, we had to return our foster baby (a baby who we had been loving and caring for since his birth), to his birth parents.

It made for a tough week, to say the least.

Here are some things that helped me out when dealing with all of the stress and pain in the past weeks:

Read the Bible. The Bible gives us a clear path for leading the church through public sin. As much as I wished I could ignore or avoid it all, it had to be confronted (1 Timothy 5:20). That said, it had to be confronted with as much grace as Jesus would offer.

Recognize that you don't live in a vacuum. I was greatly buoyed by my friends who were all around me to help and support me. I had prayer support everywhere, even from many who didn't know anything of the situation. They just knew (mostly by my facebook status updates) that something was going on and that they needed to pray. Sometimes it feels like you're the only one to go through anything like you're enduring, but recognition that you're not in a vacuum is also a recognition that others have walked these steps before. Like at the Youth Specialties National Youthworkers Conference a few years back when a speaker asked us if who was living in a "desert" place. I stood... and watched as nearly half of my fellow youthworkers stood with me (including my close friend who I was rooming with). It was comforting to know that I wasn't alone!

This also is a recognition that as others have walked these steps, they have resources available to help. I was glad to be able to call several fellow pastors (close friends as well as others I don't know well but were told that they had walked this path before).

Furthermore, due to the prevalence of podcasting, I was able to listen/watch sermons that other pastors had preached on the subject. These were extremely helpful to me as I worked to craft a Spirit-filled message to bring to the church on Sunday.

Lean on other leaders. Remember that you aren't alone, and because you aren't alone, you don't have to do it by yourself. I was overwhelmed when the call came from DJFS that Baby J was going - so I called Rudy (my fellow pastor here), who came over immediately. Likewise, through the whole affair affair, if it weren't for Rudy's tireless work and his constant care for the families involved, I'm not sure how I would have gotten through it.

Get rest. This probably includes setting and sticking to some boundaries. True, for a time, you'll probably be more consumed with what's going on, and it will probably take more time and energy than you're used to giving, but that's no excuse to run yourself ragged or to ignore your family. If you ignore yourself, you might get through this crisis but not the next one or the one after that. And you'll do long-term damage to the church. There is a reason that God told us to take a Sabbath.

For me, part of getting rest was emotional/mental rest. Meaning I had to get out and run, which is therapeutic for me. That meant blocking out time when I would be unavailable on the phone and I couldn't "do" more. It was vitally important.

Don't just move from one crisis to another. Remember to take joy in the life God gave you. Take joy in your family. Slow down. Evaluate everything you're doing; are these important things, or are they just time/energy consuming?

Most importantly, remember that God never left us. As godforsaken as some of the situations we deal with can seem, we aren't alone. Even if nobody else understands, we have a Holy Spirit who does. Even if we don't even know how to pray, the Spirit intercedes on our behalf. This is the most important thing to remember when dealing with crises and painful events.

2009-12-09T18:11:00.000-05:00

Baby J Update

It's been a while since I blogged; this was intentional. First of all, I was on vacation and dial-up isn't all that conducive to blogging (in fact, I didn't even check facebook or e-mail while I was gone). Secondly, some important things were going on in my life and the life of my church that weren't appropriate to blog about. And third was that part of life was completely different and I had to make sure that my family and closest friends didn't read it before they heard it.

This post deals with intentionality #3.

Last Friday I went out for a much-needed run. I got back from an 8 miler and the phone rang. It was our social worker who had news. Baby J's hearing, for DJFS' temporary custody extension, had happened. And the judge granted his birth parents custody.

For us that meant that we had about 1/2 hour to gather his things together and to give him back. It was a really emotional time for me (and for Jonathan as well). We were tired already and emotionally spent, and it seemed like this was one more thing on top of all that. But the reality was, it was an answer to prayer. We had prayed all along that if we weren't to keep (adopt) him, that we wanted him returned soon. We developed a good rapport with his birth parents and liked them and were pulling for them to get their stuff done so they could get him back. They did it, and they deserve their baby.

We had always said that we were holding him with open hands; that he is/was God's child, not ours, as are Jonathan and Andrew. We have them for a short time and we'll do our best with them while we have them.

Now we've experienced this part of foster parenting. We poured our love on Baby J, and I know that was rewarded. We gave him a great start and showed him the love of Jesus. And he will always be a part of our family and in our hearts.

2009-11-29T10:59:00.000-05:00

Singing God's Praises

This morning I woke up early enough to feed the baby and to go for a run before I needed to be at the church to prepare for worship. It was a fantastic morning for a run - 43 degrees (cold enough to wear tights & gloves, warm enough to not feel frozen) - and the sun was just beginning to rise. As it hovered just below the horizon, the sky began to change color, first subtly, then dramatically.

I was listening to praise music on my iPod: Robby Seay Band, to be specific, and the song Beautiful Scandalous Night.

I have to admit that I'm already very much in the swing of Christmas preparation - my prayer has been that Christmas will be a fantastic time of worship, of celebrating Jesus' birthday, both for me and for my church.

But the very thought of Jesus willingly giving his life on the cross, in the context of His birth in the manger, when in the beautiful colors of the morning, the rising sun in the background...

...it was almost overwhelming.

I am continuing to worship God and to sing His praises - O for 1000 tongues to sing my great redeemer's praise! Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!!

2009-11-26T18:27:00.000-05:00

Turkey Trot

This morning we rose bright and early to participate in the Columbus Turkey Trot . This was a great family event - not only did they have the five mile race, but they had a 2 mile "walk and talk" and a (free) kids' 100 yard dash (complete with t-shirts and medals and goodie bag).

Jonathan was so excited that he hardly could get to sleep last night - but he told Andrew, "try to go to sleep as fast as you can, because you'll need your energy for our race tomorrow!"

The kids' run was really well-done by the organizers, and our boys really had fun. I ran with Andrew, and I gave Jonathan the option that he could run with us or run faster. He chose to run faster. Lickety split fast. He was so proud of himself!

As for me, this meant a five mile race. I'd never run a 5 miler before; I've run plenty of mile races, 2 mile races, 5K races, even a 4 miler once, a 20K, a half marathon, a 40K, and 2 marathons, but never a 5 miler. There were tons of people there, so I made sure to get up front for the start. I've made the mistake of starting in the middle or back before, and that isn't any good.

I went out a little fast (5:53 mile - 2nd fastest mile I've run in about 10 years) - it was downhill with the wind. I was on track that if it had been a 5K, I probably would have run my P.R. The last two miles were a little rough, but I was pretty darn pleased with my 33:39 finishing time. I was expecting about 35-37 minutes.

Not only was it a lot of fun, but it was for a good cause. The run raised money for Easter Seals and they were also taking food donations for the United Methodist food pantry and used shoe donations for redistribution. I was glad to have somewhere to give my used running shoes.

This was a great way to start my Thanksgiving!

2009-11-23T11:14:00.000-05:00

Christmas is not your birthday: Monday Morning Reflections

I work pretty hard to write and deliver messages on Sunday mornings, and the two services we have are different enough that sometimes things don't translate well. Sometimes I come out of first service saying, "Wow, that message was really jumbled." In fact, two weeks ago, I felt like I had mostly just read a series of unrelated scriptures and talked a little between them. In those cases, I go back and look at the message and wonder, "Should I change things? What can I change between services?" Then I go on to the second service and the message flows smoothly and naturally and people respond.

To the exact same words.

Other times, there are lyrics in the hymns or special music in the first service that really set the tone for the message, and usually when that happens I talk about that and tie it in and it works really nicely. Often little things work well in the early service, so I try to duplicate it in the later service, and it usually doesn't work. Or something "funny" will get a good laugh in first service, so in second service I'll pause to let the laughter subside before I go on, only to hear the dreaded crickets.

Yesterday I felt like the message went well in both services. Though probably Baby Jason stole the thunder: I talked about being a foster parent and how we just thank God for every moment we get with him. I used the really-super-happy picture of him for that illustration, but during the first service, I went and got him and held him while I talked about him.

Yes, he almost made me choke up. But he was so good and quiet and cute that I fear that some missed out on the thrust of the message, or the challenge that I issued.

The challenge isn't something that started with me; I got it from Ginghamsburg Church near Dayton, Ohio, who are doing phenomenal things in Sudan. Their call is this:

Christmas is not your birthday. Celebrate your birthday on your birthday, but on Christmas, celebrate Jesus' birthday.

We are using the same challenge, but our mission is Gracehaven House. Gracehaven seeks through Christian love, to provide shelter and rehabilitation to girls under the age of 18 who have been victims of commercial sexual exploitation, and to raise awareness among young women about the issue of domestic minor sex trafficking in order to educate them and equip them so that they can avoid becoming victims themselves.

We are asking the church to match whatever they spend on themselves and their family and friends this Christmas and to give that money to Gracehaven House, as a birthday present for Jesus.

This is an important time in the life of our church. We have been doing a lot of disciple making, and disciples of Jesus Christ naturally transform the world. So right now, we are where the rubber meets the road. It all sounds great in a sermon and looks great on paper. Let's see how it works in practice!

2009-11-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

Life In My House

Is a lot of fun.

2009-11-10T10:17:00.000-05:00

What Would I Want From My Pastor?

I have written several posts about pastor expectations - what people expect from (me) as their pastor - sometimes positive, often unrealistic expectations. As I was thinking about this, it got me to thinking, "what would I want from my pastor?"

To be fair, I haven't "had" a pastor since 2001, when I left Kentucky. I worked for two pastors, but they did not pastor me (and there is a big difference). I was in several churches before I was a full-time pastor, some with fantastic pastors, and all with positive aspects I'd like to emulate.

I grew up at Macedonia Christian Church, and I don't really remember much about anything that went on from the pulpit - most likely reflecting more on me than on our pastor. I do remember that he had a good sense of humor, though. And that's important. It's important to me that my pastor not take himself too seriously. True, the pastor's work is serious work, not merely life and death work, but eternity work. But when a pastor takes himself too seriously, well, it's tough to relate to him.

Which brings me to the next church I was in: Chapel Hill Christian Church. I wasn't there long (and was usually gone off to college), but I witnessed a change in John, the pastor who was there then. His wife went through an illness and death, and John transformed. Some people get bitter and angry; John became much more focused. I remember (as a high schooler) when he would rant at/about those of us who were sitting in the back. But I also remember (as a college student) when he led our college group on Wednesday evening. Part of what happened was he became someone who we could relate to. But more than that, he could relate to God, and the way he related to us was God relating to us through him.

In college, one church I attended was my friend David's home church, and the pastor there (also named John) had passion for the lost. Real passion to see people saved. Passion to worship God in spirit and Truth. I want my pastor to have this passion. It's not about doing a job, it's not even about growing the church, but about seeing lives/eternities changed.

Post-college, I joined First Presbyterian Church in Evanston, where I was impressed by Rev. Dave Handley's commitment to cross-cultural mission and ministry and his care for the marginalized and oppressed.

While in seminary, I found Southland Christian Church, where Mike Breaux was the Senior Minister. I loved how I saw him treating his family and that he had boundaries and included self-care and regular play and exercise in his routine, all the while working really hard. He was a fantastic teacher and preacher who brought a relevant word, no matter how far along on your spiritual journey you were. He also shared glory - if something went well, he was the first to give praise to someone else, including his fellow ministry staffers as well as lay people. I attribute this all to the power of the Holy Spirit - he was allowing the Spirit to inform him and to shape his messages. This is the most important thing I want from my pastor: to be Holy Spirit led. All of the other stuff isn't important if this isn't true.

So, what would you want from your pastor?

2009-11-02T10:20:00.000-05:00

Alone

Isn't this one of our biggest fears? To be alone? It's one of the things I have heard people talk about as they prepare for the inevitable; I just don't want to be alone. Maybe you know someone whose one wish is to not get "stuck" in a nursing home - alone. I know that our church has several elderly people who are shut-in, and one of their sorrows is that they often feel like the church has forgotten them. We are working to reverse this trend, but it's a real issue. This is a struggle for me as the pastor as well. Pastors are already stretched to wear many hats; we wear some of them well and struggle with others. I received word (second-hand) that I didn't care about someone in a congregation I've served (because I didn't visit them enough). The truth is that due to the size of the congregation, I myself cannot personally care for everyone like God does (and to be fair, I had visited them multiple times). I've chewed on that word for a while, however, and this is one of the reasons why I am hoping our visitation team succeeds; that they remake (or build new) connections with those who are shut-in.

I wrote an article for our newsletter about loneliness and focused on these elderly (and mentioned our visitation team) and I got an e-mail from someone who isn't elderly but who is still lonely. She is an active participant in our church, but she's had a hard time - in spite of being active, she is still all alone.

We did implement (bring back?) a "meet and greet" time in our morning worship services, and one complaint I heard was "we already greet each other; why do we have to have this greeting time?" But the unfortunate thing is that lonely people often aren't greeted in "informal" before-and-after service greeting times. And then they are the worst kind of lonely: lonely in a crowd.

Being alone isn't by itself a bad thing - we should always take the time to be alone. Even Jesus did this regularly. But all of us (even introverts) were made for relationship (as an aside, this is partially why Trinitarian theology is important - God is always a relational God, Father, Son, and Spirit, sacrificially loving one another).

There is a balance, because each of us can only be fully engaged in relationship with so many people. I read a blog post last week and an article today that say that we can only be friends with 150 people (Dunbar's Number - popularized by Malcolm Gladwell, who we saw at Catalyst, in his book, The Tipping Point). When we try to stretch this, it just doesn't work.

This has a big effect on church - there will be people who are on the fringes (for various reasons) - and part of the challenge is to integrate them into the regular life of the church. So they won't stay alone. Certainly there are some who come in and want to remain on the fringes; they want to come in and check things out with no commitment (you see this a lot in large churches - you can't "hide" in a small church), but for most, it's difficult to be noticed and accepted.

And then, in the community in which they should be most loved and accepted, they end up alone.

My sister once lamented the reality of having to "break into" a church. No, she's not a criminal (though her brother's nom de plume is "the Thief). Her point was that it's often difficult for someone who is new to a church to establish themselves as gifted and available. Her experience came in the drama group in a church she joined shortly after college; though she's always been an excellent thespian (I was going to say "drama queen" but I didn't want her to take it the wrong way), but she couldn't get a part in their church plays.

Involvement is one of the cures for being alone in a church setting, but what happens when involvement is eschewed?

And what happens when groups reach their threshold? Though Dunbar's Number is 150, there are groups in which the maximum is 10 or 12. We believe that cell groups are this kind of group, and when they grow beyond the threshold, they need to birth a new group. But other groups can reach their threshold: I was in a praise band and when we got new members, we had a hard time accommodating them. You can only have so many guitars playing on stage at once. The church where I was accommodated the larger numbers (a couple years later) by forming multiple bands, each of which would play perhaps every third week. I don't know how this works for practice - would all groups practice together? Would they practice separately? What about space and time issues? Etc. There are definite growing pains.

And churches, by our nature, are supposed to grow. And when we grow, we reach thresholds. Some have addressed this issue by coming up with satellite, video, and internet campuses. Others have added services to their existing locations. Others have planted new congregations. But all of these require sacrifice and change, which are difficult, especially because we often develop close bonds with people with whom we have been praying and praising, whom we have been supporting and encouraging.

The truth is that Jesus promised that he would never leave us alone; the Holy Spirit is always with us. But sometimes this world can seem empty and lonely.

2009-10-27T20:02:00.000-05:00

Overheard

This past Sunday afternoon I needed to bring some information to some church members who were having a planning meeting at a cafe down the street from the house. I walked over and joked with them a little and then told them what I'd come to tell them.

The cafe isn't all that large, and there were only two parties present. One was the planning meeting, and the other was a couple I'd never seen before. No, wait, I'd seen them as they were parking their car in front of the cafe. Anyway, I couldn't help but overhear part of the conversation they were having with the waitress. By "they" I mean the husband. The wife didn't offer anything. The waitress must have been talking about churches, because this is what I heard from him:

Well, the Methodist Church preaches a watered-down the message...

My first reaction was to defend us and to invite him to our church, which doesn't seem to preach a watered-down message (at least not to my knowledge - you can read my sermons and make your own judgment). Then I thought, "And then we'll have this guy who'll just as soon attack us..." And furthermore, I needed to get home to take care of the kids.

This got me to thinking, however. What is a watered-down message?

I was going to define watered-down message, but I found a good definition out there.Dan defines watered-down gospel this way:

"Watered-down gospel" is often an accusation that is more feeling than logic. In other words, it sounds powerful and inflammatory, but the people using it really don't have any true definition of the phrase. For one, what do they mean by "gospel"? Do they mean doctrine? Do they mean "message of salvation?" Do they mean practice? In my experience, it usually means "your doctrine doesn't line up with ours, or doesn't go as deep as ours, so you are lesser Christians than we are." It tends to be tossed from those who love doctrine at those who love people. In the end, I think it's a meaningless phrase, so I try not to use it or answer to it.

I'm glad I didn't try to get into it with the guy. I know what the outcome would have been: I would have gotten frustrated in trying to demonstrate to him that our message isn't watered-down. And I wouldn't have made any difference in his life.

Besides, it wasn't my conversation!

If you were his waitress, how might you have responded to this gentleman?

2009-10-27T09:44:00.002-05:00

Truth-telling

Yesterday I read this blog entry about lying pastors and I have been chewing on it overnight. To sum up the article, the author was in a conversation with other United Methodist pastors and the question was posed, "When is it necessary for pastors to lie to people?" He answered that it was never necessary, at which point the entire table disagreed with him with comments like this:

You can’t tell people in the church the truth. They can’t handle it. We are there to protect them.
Yeah, the church I serve has some really dark skeletons in its closet. There is nothing good that would come of letting people know what really happened.
And you know for a fact that we can’t tell people in our churches a lot of what we learn at seminary. They don’t want to hear it, so we tell the same old stories the same old ways to keep everyone happy.
Mostly it isn’t lying; it’s just not telling the truth.

Really, to get the whole picture, you should go and read his post. And while you're at it, read his follow up posts here and here.

I was frankly shocked that the pastors would suggest that lying is not only somehow "OK" but even necessary or required for ministry.

Two of the reasons they posed that lying was necessary were to protect the congregation and to keep the peace. I remember an incident in college when my fraternity brother David Schaff came to me and said, "You first introduced me to Jesus, but I don't see you living that kind of lifestyle right now."

He didn't protect my feelings. He risked our friendship and his standing in the fraternity. But it was absolutely worth it, for him as well as for me.

They posed that lying is necessary to maintain confidentiality; that if you tell someone that this isn't their business, that they will assume the worst. Which is worse, breaking confidence, lying about the confidential material, or having someone assume the worst? I pose that "this is none of your business" or "this is confidential" is a whole lot better than giving false information, no matter what sinful gossips are going to make of it. Just because someone is going to react sinfully does not justify us sinning in the first place. Jesus told his followers that if someone strikes you on the cheek [sinful behavior], turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you [sinful behavior] and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. What he is saying is that our behavior should not be contingent upon the behavior of those around us.

The real danger here is this: the very notion that pastors must lie, even if there are gray areas where truth-telling seems dangerous - this belief forces the creation of two classes, one that is somehow "above the rules" (those would be the lying clergy people) while the others (laity) must obey God's rules. There are already enough divisions between clergy and laity, and we members of the clergy are too often put on pedestals (and we often contribute to that) and/or held at arms length (as "acceptable outsiders"). These only lead to a lack of trust, a distrust that our profession has earned over many years of lying to our parishioners.

I have been told that the reason so many people appreciate a pastor's visit so much (especially in the hospital or in times of deep distress) is that for those moments, we represent God to them. I personally believe that this isn't just the job of the "pastor" but is also the job of anyone who carries the Holy Spirit within him or her. God blesses us to be a blessing; to represent Him in the world. What kind of representation do we offer when we feel like we need to break one of His Commandments? And how can we expect people to trust fully in God if we're representing Him through deceit?

2009-10-26T13:12:00.000-05:00

Here's Hoping

I updated the publishing portion of my blog today. This shouldn't have any impact on you, but I was hoping it would have some impact for me; I was hoping that it would allow me to title my blog posts.

My sermon blog has a little blank above where I type my posts. I have it on my (limited) igoogle homepage. But not on my blogger page.

It didn't work.
Drat.

2009-10-26T09:16:00.004-05:00

Priscilla Shirer: Catalyst Speaker recap

Honestly I don't remember all of what Priscilla Shirer said - my notes were few. I do remember that she was awesome in saying it. She is an extremely gifted speaker. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree (her father is a gifted speaker as well).

Her theme was from Joshua 3, where Joshua acted immediately in response to God, crossing the Jordan at flood stage. She focused on "God is the leader; follow Him."

She told some stores about her family - one was about Christmas morning when she and her husband attempted to remind their 5 and 3 year old children about the real reason for Christmas:

Dad: "Whose birthday are we celebrating?"
5 year old: "Jesus"
3 year old (looking at his pile of presents): "am I Jesus?"

She didn't just leave a funny story to stand on its own, however; she immediately showed its relevance: Don't we often act like that? Like we think we're Jesus?

As I write about this, I can't help but think about Christmas - how we say we're celebrating Jesus' birthday, but we do all but that. Our parties and our gift-giving center around us - ourselves, our families, and our friends. We must be Jesus then. Can you sitting on the floor on Christmas morning, surrounded by piles of gifts, then looking over and seeing Jesus alone on the other side of the room...

As a church leader, I am convinced that our church can change this trend. Or at least we can start to do a better job of celebrating Jesus' birthday.

2009-10-25T09:44:00.003-05:00

Catalyst Conference Recap: The Compassion Moment

If you were at Catalyst, you witnessed a powerful moment. If not, you can watch it below. (If you don't have enough time to watch the whole video, start at 3:45 for Jimmy Wambua's interview).

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Here's the summary: through Compassion International Mark (a Canadian) sponsored Jimmy in Africa. To Jimmy, this meant life. Now Jimmy himself sponsors a child in Haiti - what an awesome example of compassion at work.

There wasn't a dry eye in the stadium when Jimmy was asked if he'd ever met his sponsor and Mark walked on stage.

2009-10-19T12:26:00.005-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Rob Bell

I've seen Rob Bell speak several times before, I've read his books, and I've seen several of his videos, and I've always been challenged and encouraged by what he has to say. Last Winter at the NPC he rocked the house with an amazing message: he started out talking about the wrongs that "church people" have done to us (as pastors), but he moved on to talk about forgiveness - giving us a concrete way to forgive.

At Catalyst, he told us he was going to go in a different direction, that the Holy Spirit was leading him to go in another direction than the one he had planned ("the importance of beginning with the beginning"). Instead, he talked about "Is Bigger Better?"

In John 6, the evangelist talks about many in the crowd turned back and no longer followed Jesus. Sometimes the crowd thins.

In Luke 21, the widow's mite was somehow more than the gifts of the rich.

From this platform, he talked about how sometimes we pastors and church leaders chase after the next great thing, sometimes at the risk of ourselves and/or our families. We ask "what if the next thing we do isn't popular?" when this isn't Jesus' question at all.

He brought up one Jewish view of the Ten Words (Commandments) that says that the first 9 are eternally visible, but the last (envy) isn't, perhaps because if one keeps the first 9, the final is given as a reward. We won't want anyone else's life; ours is just fine.

He then shifted to talk about loving neighbor as self - and if we don't care for ourselves, we aren't loving self. (Example: Are we taking a REAL Sabbath?) Until we take care of ourselves, we can't take care of others.

Then he asked about our spouses & kids: are they getting our very best or what's left over?

Rob Bell's message was a timely message for many there; it's a message we all need to hear and hear and hear again. We cannot sacrifice our families at the altar of the church, and we cannot be constantly committing adultery with Christ's Bride. We are called to have the following priorities (in this order):

God
Our families
Our church/job

It can be easy to "accidentally" exchange #3 for #1 - thinking we're focusing on God, but really we're focusing on the church. Then our families suffer. Then we suffer. I'm not sure why Rob Bell said that what he was going to say was controversial; he seemed genuinely scared/nervous when he told us that he was going to switch streams and all. It didn't seem controversial whatsoever. Maybe he is really hard-charging and he was preaching primarily to himself. With as high-profile he is as a pastor, author, and public speaker, I can imagine this being the case. I know from a conversation I had at the NPC with an employee of his that he expects hard work and long hours from his employees, but that he expects the BEST from himself.

It's a good reminder, no matter if he was simply preaching to himself.

What do you do to ensure that God gets your best and that your family doesn't end up getting left-overs?

2009-10-19T08:54:00.003-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Shane Hipps

Shane Hipps had a career in advertising as a strategic planner in communications for Porsche, where, as he tells it in his book Flickering Pixels, his task was:

to hijack your imagination, brand your brain with our logo, and then feed you opinions you thought were your own.

With this background, he became extremely media-savvy, and in this he figured out that the medium is the message. This is why someone might say something to you like, "It wasn't what you said; it was the way you said it." Because you might have said something nice or kind, but your body language and your tone of voice communicated something else.

How you say something is as important as what you say.

This is true with regard to the medium through which you choose to communicate as well. The medium, remember, is the message. And according to Hipps, Christianity is fundamentally a communication event.

I love the fact that guys like Shane Hipps are critically engaging communication culture, and it was quite ironic to be watching him on the 8 giant screens at Catalyst. But I was agreeing with him as we sang worship songs and not only were the lyrics on those screens, but they also included extreme close-ups of the worship leaders, and this was distracting (and a little bit embarrassing) to me. It elevated them from worship leaders (or lead worshipers) to big screen icons. I know that wasn't their intention, but it affirms Hipps' message.

I believe Shane Hipps is spot-on, and we need to evaluate our every use of technology as we communicate (irony #2 - that I write this on a blog, which I will share on Facebook and I really haven't evaluated how the message might change from me thinking it to typing it to it being read...)

The only thing that I think needs re-evaluated from the Hippsian point-of-view is the assertion that Christianity is fundamentally a communication event. I believe that Christianity is fundamentally a relationship; it's not just about communication, it's about a Person. To be fair, media (GREATLY) affects our communication about the Person (whether that communication be about God the Father, God the Son, or God the Spirit), but the heart of Christianity is not simply communication, it is a Person.

And that somehow changes the entire equation.

2009-10-18T09:51:00.003-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Malcolm Gladwell

First of all, let me just go ahead and say it. Malcolm Gladwell is a genius. You should immediately go out and buy all his books and start reading them now.

Or you could just read his blog.

At Catalyst, he talked about leadership, mostly from the standpoint of the Civil War, and the main point he brought out was this:

What we need from our leaders in times of crises is not bold and daring leadership. It is humility.

Overconfidence is marked by not listening to others, while humility does.

The rub here is who the "others" are to whom a good leader should listen. Discernment certainly has a top priority in this; spiritual discernment of who those "others" are can make or break a leader.

Who do you listen to?

2009-10-12T09:41:00.002-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Chuck Swindoll, part 3.

Five Statements Worth Remembering Over the Next 50 Years:

1. Whatever you do, do more with others and less alone. Relationship is key.

2. Whenever you do it, emphasize quality over quantity.

3. Wherever you go, do it the same as if you were among those who know you the best. This keeps us humble - especially when people who could refute our outrageous claims might be present!

4. Whoever may respond, keep a level head. Don't let the flatterers swell your head, and don't let the complainers crush your spirit.

5. However long you lead, keep on dripping with gratitude and grace.