Asha

New Home

2009-01-26T10:02:00.002+05:30

After years of talking about it, I've moved my blog to a new site.

my new blog is at www.ashaiscool.com.

Cheers!

- A

What's making me happy right now...

2008-12-09T20:52:00.002+05:30

Crazy late night phone calls to far away lands. Crazy late night phone calls to Vashi. Disco rickshaws with snowglobes. Allowing myself to just be a girl sometimes. Brainstorming meetings with clear outcomes and goals. Dress shopping, aka retail therapy. Long lazy breakfasts. Sushi twice in one week. Smiling and knowing the reason. Life, just life.

I believe in a world without AIDS

2008-12-02T12:32:00.000+05:30

With all of the chaos of the past week, an important day past. Yesterday was World Aids Day. The 20th one. Dec 1st. I missed it, so instead today is my day to remember, my day to wear red.

So today I think of Ariel, I hope she is still jumping around the house and not forgetting to do her homework, I hope she doesn’t have to take any more pills. I think of Sandra, I hope she is still healthy and now has a diploma. I think about Lateesha, I pray she still has her mom.

And most of all I remember Ken.

I’m now in a country where AIDS is a true epidemic, where it affects millions of people in all social spheres and I acknowledge that its different here, different stigma, different magnitude. But my experience with HIV/AIDS is from a far away land, where there are resources and support, or at least an attempt at them. The disease that I’ve experienced affects children who miss months of school because their parents are too sick to care for them, who take more pills each day then I do in a month. It affects teenagers who are asymptomatic and who’s biggest issue is how to tell the boy they like that they are positive. It affects mothers, who live with the guilt of the effect of their choices on their children. It serves as a reminder of the past for those who have picked themselves up and changed their lives only to find that something horrible has followed. It affects my father who should be growing old and laughing with his best friend but instead only has memories.

This is one disease we can stop, there may not be a cure, but we know how to prevent it. If you haven’t yet, get tested. Know your status, I do. Be safe, even when you’re drunk. Make your partner get tested. Use condoms. There is no reason for smart, educated people like us to continue spread this disease. If you do nothing else, protect yourself.

What can you do?

1. End HIV prejudice. Know the facts and remove the stigma - http://www.nat.org.uk/HIV-Facts.aspx
2. Get tested, tell your friends & family to get tested.
- In New York the GMHC offers free HIV tests, no co-pay and complete anonymity - http://www.gmhc.org/
- In Bombay Lilavati does HIV/STD testing for cheap - http://www.lilavatihospital.com/
3. Give your time and/or money to a charity that supports AIDS research or provides support to positive people and their families.
- US - http://www.gmhc.org/ or http://www.ejaf.org/
- India - http://www.giveindia.org/c-56-health.aspx
- UK - http://www.worldaidsday.org/
- Canada - http://www.canadahelps.org/

Most importantly, believe in a world without AIDS...

Musings squared

2008-11-18T17:48:00.000+05:30

- Why is it that on any given day I see 10-15 ads for "emergency contraception" and not one for condoms? Since when does prevention start after conception? What kind of message does that send.

- Sometimes I feel as though I'm living in a reality show that no one is watching. However I think my version of "The Hills" would be more interesting.

- Group texting. Don't pretend you don't do it, and also don't pretend I shouldn't be a little offended when I receive the message. If you want to see me, personalise the message a little.

Where are your manners?

2008-11-12T10:53:00.002+05:30

Isn't it completely inappropriate that the annual "World Singles Day" falls on the same day at Remembrance Day/Armistice Day? Who's brilliant idea was that.

November 11th is already taken, thank you very much.

What's making me happy right now...

2008-10-16T20:30:00.007+05:30

Eating solid food. Rooftop rendevous. Making Diwali plans that include the beach. Sleeping before 12. Knowing that the next 4 months is full of visitors from others lives and other lands. Knowing what I want. Not getting it but knowing I'm ok anyway. Ladies who brunch and the men who join them. Behaving like a local. Having "good girl" hair. Behaving like a tourist.

What's making me happy right now...

2008-09-08T20:41:00.003+05:30

Sunday afternoons that are crazier than Saturday nights. iTunes and the fall line up. Call backs. Making more calls in IST than EST. No more nail biting. Email strings full of jealousy ;). No co-pays. Registering to vote via mail for the October 14 election. Standing up to Cancer. Finding old pics in a secret folder in my documents. Blackberry messenger (add me!). Saying "do you have change for 1000" and thinking its normal. Disco rickshaws (still). Knowing I'm missed, really really missed. Knowing people are coming to visit (finally). Living.

If I ruled the world, the sequel

2008-08-27T14:00:00.003+05:30

Teaching is the highest paid profession. Education is free. Health care is universal. Everyone can read. There is mobility between the classes. There is a cure for HIV. There is no such thing as cancer. People value the arts. We are all different colours. There is always parking. Some people get hurt. Some people are happy. Everybody is safe. There are no tobacco companies. All adults vote. There is no death penalty. Everyone retires at 60.. Children get to experience grandparents. People take chances. People make soft landings. Rape carries a life sentence. Imaginations run rampant. Women can walk home safely at night. Doors are left unlocked.

Forget about practicality, forget about reality, that is my dream world.

If I ruled the world...imagine that ;)

Minus the witch and flying monkeys

2008-08-25T15:47:00.008+05:30

I'm waiting for my "technicolor moment". You know that moment when Dorothy wakes up after the tornado and opens the door and she's in full color munchkin land? And you wonder how you ever watched a movie in fully in grey? That kind of moment.

Lots of things weighing on my mind, I need figure out how to close that deal. I need to buy a couch for my office. I need to hire one more person, I need to buy another computer or two, need to find 10 more hours in each day and then actually use them.

Then there's the rest of it that's weighing on my heart, how long do I stay, do I renew the visa, do I leave it to chance, do I lay down the law, how much time is enough, how much is too much, what if I change my mind, & what if they don't.

And most importantly, why am I doing this?

ahhh, to see in colour, what a luxury that would be.

28: YiR

2008-08-18T18:35:00.002+05:30

Its been ages since I've done this, 44 months to be exact. Not since this post in Dec 04.

When asked about the past year, the first thing I think of is that I feel like nothing has changed, that I'm still the same as is everything around me. Then the truth comes out.

I turned 28 in a magical place. Literally. A work conference in Disney World. I left 28 behind in Bombay (and as I recently told a friend) you can't get much further away from Disney World than Bandra. Word.

There is no contesting that 28 was a big year for me, promotion and move to India, love lost and found and lost again. All the things I thought would happen didn't, I can't help thinking that it could have and should have been a bigger year. But fortunately I don't believe in could haves and should haves.

I met some really great people, some that will continue to play a role in the next few years and others that have almost served their purpose in my life. I reconnected with people from the past, some that I didn't realize I were gone, and decided not to let them go again.

I was truly a nomad this year, I counted 4 separate bedrooms as home and as I write this many of my worldly possessions call a 5x5x5 storage unit in Harlem home.

I went home a record 4 times. For 7 or more days at a time. Who does that? and yet I somehow I still managed to miss my family more than ever before.

I got bangs (or fringe as we say in this country), twice. Maybe three times. But managed to keep my hair all one colour for the first full year in many. Might be my biggest achievement.

So I end this post with my hopes for 29. A copy and paste of my hopes for 2005, because although I'm moving forward, some things should stay the same.
- Stability. Living in one place, having my own stuff and my own space.
- Travelling. Having the means and desire to explore and visit.
- Working. Spending my days on tasks that I enjoy and challenge me.

What's making me happy right now...

2008-08-11T19:51:00.003+05:30

Feeling the love. Finally having my name show up in a google news search (try it). The best tasting birthday cake ever. My new no pants rule. Being reminded of Vancouver everytime it rains. Disco rickshaws. Vonage. Late night gossip sessions with Amy. Electronic voicemails from my mom. Did I mentioned disco rickshaws ;). Daydreaming. The sound of contracts arriving. Knowing that the confusion will pass. Sleeping properly. Over the counter prescription medications. Not converting into dollars anymore. Real friends that are new. Real friends that are not so new.

Not so deep thoughts...

2008-03-31T00:33:00.000+05:30

Is it strange that my secret ambition is to get my own entry on Wikipedia?

I miss walking on the sidewalk. I hate the honking, looking over my shoulder walking I do here.

Why is my ethnicity so novel? I'm tired of answering question about where I'm 'really' from. Apparently I'm not really from anywhere. I thought being around brown people all the time would validate me, but I'm not from here either.

Yes, I'm 28 and unmarried. Its really none of your business.

Since when does me being merely polite at a group function equal me wanting to hang out with you alone. No I don't want to be your friend and no you can't have my number.

I really miss having a blackberry, more than anyone can know.

My new hair has changed my life, literally :)

The times they are....

2008-03-21T13:10:00.004+05:30

changing. I'm changing and I can actually sense it.
One more excellent weekend gone by. This weekend marks the my 6th week in Bombay. I've now been here longer than my summer trip. I feel it too. I already can't imagine leaving.

Its hot but gets dark early

2008-03-12T08:22:00.001+05:30

My brain still hasn't registered that yet. I've been programed to associate warm weather with long drawn out evenings and sunsets. I think its confusing my soul.

These past few weeks have been productive. I've moved into a new flat that I love. Its clean and newish and in a great central location. More importantly I'm really loving living on my own again, its been 2.5 years since I've had my own place and like the anonymity and that I'm only accountable to myself. I'm starting to crawl back into my introverted shell and love it. I get to be either totally on or totally off, which is totally more me.

More updates will come, more observations, pictures. I'm concentrating on living and working, so my life feels pretty plain right now.

What's making me happy right now...

2008-02-22T04:01:00.000+05:30

Giving a shortcut route to the driver. 30 degrees everyday! Sitting at Flora Fountain on the phone with Amy and it feeling completely normal. Knowing that THIS is where I'm meant to be. iTunes TV show library. Skype (with video). Having two favorite flats to choose from. Realizing that Bombay boys are pretty cute. Making a plan. Finally sleeping through the night. Magnet Hypermarket. Notes from friends from home. Refering to NY as home.

Settling in

2008-02-18T07:05:00.002+05:30

Sundays in Bandra are perfect. Half the shops are closed, the street aren't full, less honking, no screaming, just being. Except for Linking Road, it's still chaos, but that is to be expected.

I moved to Bandra yesterday afternoon. Went for lunch, went and bought sheets and towels, milk and toilet paper. The latter two all by myself. I still feel a sense of pride each time I do something on my own here, get in an auto and get out at the right place, buy something from a small shop, order take away, just about anything.

I'm alot less uptight in Bombay. I don't know why or how. Maybe its because I accept that I have little control over my environment and allow myself to just live. Maybe because its all still new and the uptightness will grow over time. I hope not, I like this version of Asha

Final Countdown

2008-02-14T00:48:00.000+05:30

Last night on the skype webcam with Mom and Dad.

Mom: "So I'm going to be 59 this year and I think that it would be great if you can get married before I turn 60"
Me: "Mom" (said strongly)
Mom: "But I'm getting old, I should be a grandmother by now"
Me: "Talk to your son about that" (said jokingly)
Mom: "Why not! It takes time for these things to happen and you insist on finding someone on your own, so it'll take longer. If you were doing arranged it would be quicker"
Me: "Mo-om" (said even more strongly)
Me: "Daddy! Mom is saying she wants me to get married before she turns 60, talk to her" (said loudly so that dad will hear me from the other room)
Dad: "You're a grown up now, you can make your own decisions"
Me: "I love you Daddy!" (said lovingly)
Mom: "I just want to be able to dance at your wedding, I should be able to be happy at your wedding and not be too old"
Me: "I promise you'll be happy whenever it happens, but before you are 60 means this summer, its not going to happen" (said honestly)
Dad: "Just try and get married before I turn 70, ok beta?"
Me: "Ok Daddy, I'll try" (said resignedly)

The countdown has started, I have 4 years.

I'm here

2008-02-11T02:34:00.000+05:30

Everytime I arrive in India it feels less chaotic. This time I there was no whiff of Bombay air when I exited the airport. I don't stare out the window from the taxi anymore. I'm just here. I wish I could share this with the people back home just for a day, just so they can really understand how similar my life here is (will be) to my other lives.

I'm looking forward to being part of a community here, making friends and living life. I'm even now looking forward to starting again, once again reinventing myself into whoever I want to be. Even if its all just temporary.

One thing I know is that I love Bombay, its magic still entrances me. Now I just need to stop being so scared everytime I get in an auto.

I move into my temporary flat on Thursday, then I'll really be here.

Tally = 7

2008-02-08T06:01:00.000+05:30

Q: What country Ma'am?
A: USA (or Canada, depending on my mood)

Q: But your face, it looks Indian (gestures to the face)
A: (smiles) My grandparents were from India

Q: Oh okay very nice (smiles and nods head)
A: (smiles some more)

I have repeated this same conversation with drivers, housekeeping, room service, waiters, the mobile phone store employees, front desk staff and more.

So far its happened 7 times. My money is on having this conversation 300 times this year. I'll keep y'all posted.

Thank you Candice

2008-02-02T14:53:00.000+05:30

Found a card with these words written inside. Its 5 years later but the message is what I needed to hear today.

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
(repeat)

2008-01-31T21:27:00.001+05:30

I’m a bit awed. My British friend in Norway just sent his Canadian friend (me) in the US(for now) an invite to a gallery exhibit in Mumbai. When did this become normal?

Things still left to do...

2008-01-28T10:02:00.000+05:30

- Get my Blackberry unlocked
- Actually pack and store my winter and household stuff
- Fit everything I want to take into three suitcases
- Arrange Salvation Army pick up (3rd time this year..I'm such a pack rat)
- Realize that I'm actually leaving
- Buy a new iPod
- Pick a place for a farewell party
- Buy a mosquito net
- Get reading material for the journey
- Dinners, lunches, coffees, phone calls, drinks
- Buy more vitamins
- Stop thinking about it so much
- Pack Hippo
- Laundry, lots of it
- Get more body butter, lots of it
- Buy socks

What's making me happy right now...

2008-01-23T06:42:00.000+05:30

Two perfect weekends in a row. The return of the gong show and being all caught up with Ames. Friends who have known me longer than Ames. Wine at 4pm. Being the old Asha again. Practically living in dresses. My favorite rule: Don't buy it unless you can wear it in India. Not having any other rules. Sharing in the successes of friends. No more guilt. Being the favorite masi, just for a moment. ,,Dirty,, quotations. Pomp, pomp, pomp, pomp...POMP up de jame!

The best weekend ever

2008-01-14T07:45:00.000+05:30

Its Sunday and I'm exhausted. This has been the best weekend ever. At least that I can remember. Dinner with friends, football & beer with roommates, a night out that ends at 4am with pizza. Book club movie and coffee that turns into a full blown meal. It was perfect. Not for any special reason, just because it reinforced the premise that I'm okay, I didn't think I'd get here so fast.

It was first time that a small part of me wishes I wasn't moving. Which is oddly the best feeling ever. I want to take a snapshot of right now and pause NY so that everyone is the same when I get back, in the same places in their lives. Instead I know that its all going to be different, especially me.

2008-01-07T02:18:00.000+05:30

तद्दुष्करं नास्ति

तत्कर्तुं शक्यते

विश्वसिहि