Blineluck

Proven Faithfulness

2009-08-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

I wrote some time back about an experience I had with trusting God. My family was having a really tight time of things financially and I had sat down with a stack of bills and my check book. I looked at the stack of bills and estimated what I needed to pay them all and it equaled almost exactly what I had in my checking account. There was only one problem with that, I had not written my tithe check yet. I wrestled for a few minutes with not writing the tithe check this month, but in the end I decided to trust that God knew what He was doing and figured one or two of my bills would have to ride until the next paycheck. When I finished writing out all the bills there was one envelope left at the bottom of the stack, when I opened the envelope it was a refund check for just over the amount that I was short for all my bills. I realized that God did know what He was doing and He came through one more time.

Since then God has come through multiple times. A little over a year ago now Julie lost her job with the school district she had been working for and we didn’t know how we were going to continue to make our house payment. I was also going to have to stop going to seminary (I was going part time as a commuter student) so we could cut expenses. God provided Julie with a job on campus at the seminary and housing on campus so we could move there and I could go to school full time. He even provided a renter for our house that wanted to move in the same month that we moved on campus. In fact our renter is right now trying to purchase our house which will relieve us from the financial burden of paying the difference between the rent we get and the mortgage payment. God not only came through, but He did so in a way that we only could have dreamed of. Never did I think that I would be able to quit my job and become a full time student again.

Through all of this Julie and I committed to remaining faithful to our tithe and more when we could swing it. Most recently God has really come through with our minivan. We have had an unusual amount of mechanical trouble with the minivan this summer. First the harmonic balancer came off the front of the engine ($400), then we needed brakes ($450), and just a couple of weeks ago the radiator blew up while we were in Citrus Heights ($800). Through all of this mechanical trouble we have not had to finance one cent, we have had just enough cash in our account to cover all the repairs each time. We were even able to pay my tuition and books this semester with cash instead of credit card. Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, the money just didn’t appear out of thin air, I worked full time this summer for the seminary and that allowed us to have just enough funds to provide for all the unusual expenses. The full time work was God’s way of providing for all of the things that would pop up this summer. God has continually proven Himself faithful through this season of our lives and I truly believe it is because Julie and I have been committed to being faithful to Him with our time, our family and our finances, we have been blessed.

Lesson learned

2009-08-09T06:33:00.000-07:00

I have just very recently had the privilege of being the proud recipient of my first F in my academic career. It seems that it is exceedingly important to pay close attention to the syllabus of a course in order to fully understand the requirements for success.

Let me explain further. I took two summer courses this year, these were the first summer courses that I have ever taken at Golden Gate and they are one week intensive courses requiring a lot of reading and reporting before and after the actual course itself. In my naivete, I neglected to pay close attention to the fact that in these courses all of the assignments must be completed in order to earn a passing grade. My first course required two post class assignments and I only completed and turned one of them in thinking that I could take the hit on my grade and still get a solid B or maybe even an A-. Normally in regular semester classes this would be the case and I know a lot of people that leverage their classes in this way. For me this was the first time I actually did not turn in an assignment at all, usually I would try to turn in something even if I did not feel it was my best work. Well as you can guess, because I did not complete all of the requirements for the course my professor, after a couple of email correspondences to make sure he didn't misplace my assignment, he assigned me the grade that I earned...an F.

At first I was really annoyed that I got an F, and even had thoughts of crying foul because this is a seminary and should be able to express some grace in matters where students make errors that would effect them in this way. But then I realized that my professor was just showing integrity to the course syllabus and to those that did all of the work to earn a passing grade.

I have been reading the book Soul Revolution by John Burke. In this book he outlines an experiment called the 60/60 that is designed to bring you closer in your walk with God. It works by having a watch that will beep on every hour and at that point you are to give the next 60 seconds to God in prayer, worship or however you choose to connect to Him. This is to go on for 60 days and at the end you evaluate your experience. I have been doing this as I read the book, and God has been showing me places where I have not been trusting Him.

I tell you all of this because early this morning I was reading and praying and God revealed to me the true reason I received an F in my class. It was because I was not trusting Him. I had allowed myself to become overwhelmed in my circumstances and not gone to the one person who could help me through, God. I had been blinded by the immediate situation and in my effort for a quick and easy solution I had chosen the easy way out and just not done my final assignment. This did relieve the stress I was under, however because I neglected to check the syllabus to see how this would actually affect my grade, I had inadvertently placed myself in the situation where I had failed the class. Had I gone to the Lord, I no doubt would have found the strength to complete the requirements for the course as well as fulfill all of the other obligations that I had converging on me at that time.

Tough way to learn a lesson about trust, but there are worse ways for God to reveal truth to you. I just attended the Willow Creek Leadership Summit this last Thursday and Friday and one of the themes that came out from the many different speakers is that failure is an option. By that I mean that we need to allow for failures so that we can become a better success in the future. Failures are learning opportunities, in our personal lives as well as in our leadership positions. We need to make room for failure and not look at it in such a negative light, most often failure is just the gateway to success and God is preparing us through these opportunities.

So as I continue to proceed through my academic ventures God has revealed to me that He wants me to trust Him and seek Him even in my school work. Not a new realization but a very clear reinforcement of the principle that will guide me for the rest of my career.

As I realized the lesson that God was teaching me very early this morning I decided to email my professor and thank him for the failing grade. I explained the lesson God had taught me through the experience and thanked him for being a part of that lesson. I am looking forward to seeing how he responds to a student thanking him for a failing grade.

As a side note, if you are looking for a way to grow deeper in your relationship with God, I recommend the book Soul Revolution it will challenge you and make you appreciate the relationship that God really wants to have with you.

It's only been three months...OK three and a half

2009-07-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

OK, I know it has been over three months since I have posted anything, and my last post was really kinda lame. So here are my excuses 1) I'm a full time seminary student and it really takes a lot of my time 2) I'm a full time seminary student and I have to write a ton and I have trouble forcing myself to write anything much less a blog post (even my poor cousin suffers because I just don't feel like answering emails that take brain power and typing skills...sorry Teresa) 3) did I mention I'm a full time student and after all the writing and studying is done I really need to spend time with my beautiful wife and three wonderful kids. So there you have it in a nutshell, all the excuses I could think of for not posting to my blog.

Now for the good news, I will be posting again soon. I just finished two really great books and I want to wright reviews for you to read. One is fiction and the other is non-fiction. I know what your thinking, I've only been out of classes for two weeks and already I have two books read. Actually I've read four books, but only two were worth writing about.

Well, that is all I had to say for now. I just wanted anyone who cared to know that I am alive and I do still have a couple of brain cells left so I will be posting again soon. I also plan on being better about posting during the next semester of classes. I hope to be posting shorter, but more frequently. I also have plans to post more on small groups in the near future. Now that I've said it you have to hold me to it.

Theology Question

2009-03-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

For anyone that has ever wondered what kind of questions theology professors put on their exams, here's one.

You have been asked to counsel with a family in the church, whose son was one of the victims of the serial killer Charles Bonin. They are perplexed since hearing that Bonin reportedly accepted Christ on death row. They have asked you to explain how God could forgive Bonin, when the nephew murdered by Bonin had yet to accept Christ, though the nephew had participated in some of the youth group events. "How fair is it that Bonin is in heaven and our nephew is in hell?" How could you use atonement metaphors to guide them to comprehend more of God's grace through the cross of Christ in their difficult context?.

This is an actual question that might pop up on my theology mid-term exam on Thursday. Feel free to leave your answers in the comments, I would love to see the different takes on this question. I will post my answer next week after my exam is over.

Theology Reflections

2009-02-28T16:37:00.000-08:00

I have decided to post a copy of an assignment that I did for my theology class. It is a reflection on the doctrinal witness to the person and work of Jesus Christ. The kicker to this assignment was that it could only be 2/3 of a page long. This was alot harder than it seemed.

Please, if you read this paper leave a comment. Treat it as if you were my teacher and you were grading this paper for content within the parameters. I welcome the insight and criticism (constructive please).

Theology Reflection #1:

As in any aspect of our faith, there needs to be a balance in how we understand the person and work of Jesus Christ. Throughout history there always seems to be a draw from one side of the spectrum to the other, either the personhood of Jesus is emphasized at the expense of his deity, or the deity of Christ is emphasized as the expense of His personhood. I don’t see how it is possible to have more of one and less of the other, or how you can separate one from the other. I think that in order to have an effective savior you have to have a person Jesus.
I think that Jesus had to be born from a human mother in order to begin to fulfill all the requirements of being fully human. If at any point He was to have skipped a step He would not qualify as a savior. He would not have experienced every aspect of human life therefore being able to relate to us completely. If at some point our sin had been born out of an experience that Jesus had not been able to encounter because He skipped that step of humanity, He would not be able to save us from that specific sin. However, because He did go through every step of humanity from birth to death, and did not sin, He was uniquely qualified to be the sacrifice necessary to fulfill the debt of sin that mankind owed to God.
I think that the miracle of a virgin birth was necessary because it signified that from the beginning He was deity. Not only did this fulfill prophesy but it necessitated the infusion of God to complete the process of procreation without a human father. If Jesus had been anything less than completely God, He would not have had the authority to forgive sin, and therefore would not have been able to atone for our sins on the cross. He also would not have been able to have authority over death in order to take up His life again allowing Him to ascend back to heaven in bodily form.
Going back to the idea of balance, I think that we often spend too much effort emphasizing the work Jesus did on the cross or explaining what took place in order for Him to be completely human. I think we do this often at the expense of the actual life He lived and ministry He had. Certainly Jesus could have been fully man and fully God and died on the cross for our sins, but without the ministry that led up to that point, we would not have known that it ever took place. Jesus had to be the controversial teacher that He was on earth or else the work on the cross would have been ineffective because no one would know about the free gift of salvation because there would be no witness to it.
We often go from birth narrative to passion with little or no time spent on the life and ministry of Jesus when we witness of Him. We do this at the expense of our ability to relate to Him. His entire life and ministry is an explanation of how we are to relate to His humanity and His deity. It’s the instruction manual on how to have community with the totality of who He is not only as the Son of God, or Jesus of Nazareth, or Christ the Messiah, but all of Him balanced together. Without this balanced knowledge of Jesus Christ there is an imbalance to how we react to Him as believers.

Greek

2009-02-16T21:46:00.000-08:00

Due to the large amount of brain cells that it requires to learn Greek in one semester, I regret that I have not posted in quite some time. I hope to remedy that situation soon, however I am taking another Greek class this semester so my post volume will remain low as long as I don't drop the class. I hope to post soon.

Xa/rij u9mi=n kai\ ei0rh/nh a0po\ qeou= patro\j h9mw=n.

Words Matter!

2008-11-12T11:56:00.000-08:00

The vast majority of communication is through words. Yes, I know we communicate through pictures and music and by using expressive motion, but in today's society we do far more communicating by words than any of those other things. We speak face to face, we speak over the phone, we text message, we blog, we email, we even occasionally use pencil and paper to write letters (archaic I know). The growing majority of our communication is just words.

The importance of words wes brought to my attention this morning when I was doing my devotional reading in Proverbs. Verse 12:18 drew my attention, "Reckless words peirce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Just let that verse sink in for a minute. "Reckless words" how often have do we just say whatever comes to mind without really filtering the consequences of our words? I am truly guilty of that, I often joke about not having a filter I just say whatever I'm thinking at the time. But the fact of the matter is this kind of speaking without thinking can really effect the way others percieve you.

"Reckless words" in text form are even more common. How often does it occur that you find yourself having to explian a text or email, because what you wrote was misunderstood and either cofused someone or offended someone. I have even read emails that seemed like they were almost yelling at me, when in fact they were just instructional in nature.

Lets take this to another level. What does it look like when Christians write blogs or responses to public domain conversations and we don't choose our words well? What kind of damage do "Reckless words" do in an environment like this? Do we communicate "healing" or hatred?

Proverbs 12:13A says, "An evil man is trapped by his sinful talk," and Proverbs 12:14A, "From the fuit of his lips a man is filled with good things." Twice Jesus reminds us in Matthew that the words that come out of our mouths are formed in the heart. Paul urges in Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

The Bible speaks much about how we speak. How do we use our words? Are we reckless with our words or do they bring healing? Our words reflect who we are on the inside, these passages mentioned above all speak to that. As Christians we need to think really hard about how we view our words and how our words are viewed by others.

What does Washington have to do with Jerusalem?

2008-10-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

What is the Christians role in American politics? In eight days Americans go to the poles and vote for many things, as is our right according to our constitution. Besides the act of voting, I wonder what is the responsibility of Christians in this process? How does our involvement reflect on our culture? Does our message translate well through political channels?

I am a very politically conscious person. I have spent a lot of time in the last eighteen months watching the unfolding of the different races and issues. Especially as they apply to cultural ethics and morality. However, I do not spend an excessive amount of time in political activism. Rather, I prefer to spend my time affirming the issues through expression of Biblical concepts as they relate to issues discussed in the political arena. I do not promote politics from my influence as a teacher in the church. But am I doing all I should be?

There has been much criticism in the last few years of the politics of Christians. The term "religious right" has been thrown around in the political arena to the extent now that it is more of a negative reference than a descriptive position. Has so called "Christian activism" in politics jeopardized our witness to our country? Are we (the church) expending so much energy toward influencing the political that we are neglecting our responsibility to the social?

In the book Unchristian David Kinnaman reveals polling information done by the Barna Group that would suggest that maybe there are those who would see the efforts of the "religious right" as counter productive to our call to be culturally counter. The point of revealing the information of these poles is to show Christian leaders that there is a developing generation out there that is actually being repelled from the church due to the seemingly judgmental political stance the church is portraying in the public eye. That is not to say the perception is 100% correct, but where there is smoke there is usually fire.

Phillip Yancey speaks of politics as running on the "rules of ungrace". If the purpose of the church is to express grace as it is expressed to us by God, then is it such a wise thing to align ourselves so closely to a structure that knows nothing of grace? Yancey says, "I see the confusion of politics and religion as one of the greatest barriers to grace." Yancey also references C.S. Lewis, explaining that it is when religion and politics merged throughout history, that is when all of the crimes of the church have taken place.

Jesus left us a much different example on how to influence culture. Jesus preferred more of a "grass roots" effort to being "salt and light". You will never see Jesus going to the ruling class to try and change the culture, instead he was seen spending most of his time with the parts of society that trouble politicians the most. Jesus demonstrated to us that by meeting peoples most immediate needs we then have far more credibility to then influence their spiritual needs.

I don't blame people for wanting to be involved in the political process, after all we have a future beyond ourselves at stake. My concern is for our approach and how it reflects on the church and most of all how it reflects on our Lord. How do we get involved and work towards a positive outcome without becoming corrupted by the process?

I sincerely do not pretend to have the answers to all these questions. I know we are called to pray for our leaders (1 Timothy 2:1-3). And I urge everyone to do so. I also know that we have a responsibility as Americans to take part in the democratic process by voting. And I urge everyone to do so. But to what extent we get involved in the tricky aspect of politics is very sketchy. We must be prayerful and tread carefully in these waters because it is not just our own personal reputation on the line, when Christians step into the political arena they (willingly or not) represent the whole church.

I guess on this issue I'm open to ideas. What convictions guide us in our decisions in political matters? Is it possible to stay involved in the political arena and undo the damage that has been done according to Kinnman and the Barna group? Can we be involved in an arena ruled by "ungrace" according to Yancey and still show grace to a hurting country?

Day Off

2008-10-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while you need to take a day off. Even though mid-terms are rapidly approaching and I really need to work on my Greek, I just couldn't resist taking the family out for a break.

Fleet Week was this week so we decided to hop a ferry and watch the air show from San Francisco. We had a great time. We saw the Snow Birds perform while we were on the ferry, on the way to SF. It was amazing watching the jets fly right over the top of us as we cruised the bay. Then we got to see the Blue Angels perform while we were on the top deck of the Eureka, docked at the Hide street pier. We topped the day off by eating clam chowder and fish n chips from a restaurant overlooking the bay.

It was a great day of rest that I think the whole family needed. Now back to work!

Our arrival at the Port of San Francisco by ferry.

One of the Navy ships in SF for Fleet Week.

Julie and Emily on the ferry ride over to SF.

Me and the kids as we arrived in SF.
Emily being cute on the ferry bench.

William steering the Eureka (while at dock).

William and Emily playing pirate on board the sailing vessel at the Maritime Museum.

Anchors away for Lizzy and Emily.

Emily and Lizzy not sure which way to steer.

Julie got some great pics of the Blue Angels in action.

Shooting Star Theology

2008-10-07T22:29:00.001-07:00

I was just standing on the top of the hill at the seminary looking out over the amazing view we have of the Bay Bridge and San Francisco, when I saw a shooting star. It was incredible, it streaked across the night sky right in front of me. I was thanking God for the beauty of what I was seeing when it dawned on me that I was actually missing the point. Well, at least the whole point because it really was beautiful. But God was revealing to me something more.

You see, the whole reason I was out looking over the bay was because I was praying for a very close friend of mine. He's had a really tough go of things lately, with more stuff piling on to his troubles almost daily. So what does this have to do with a shooting star, well I realized that the shooting star was Gods way of telling me that He will provide for my friend. Just like He was providing for all of us in Northern California at that very moment.

Let me break this down. I realized that the shooting star I was watching is, as most of us know, actually a meteor that was burning up in the atmosphere. If it had not burned up, when it hit the ground it could have caused catastrophic damage for miles. That's why God created the atmosphere, the beautiful night sky I was admiring is actually Gods provision for His creation so that every time a piece of space rock runs into the earth it does not hit the ground and kill thousands of us. The amazing forethought of our creator to provide a shield for us from the meteors that head right toward us almost every minute of the day. And on top of it all the spectacle of His provision is beyond words to describe.

So, as you can see, what was an amazing sight of a shooting star is actually Gods display of His great provision for all of us. It was also His way of telling me that He really does have it all under control. And just like I don't have to worry about all the meteors that run into our atmosphere causing constant disasters, So also I do not have to worry about how He will provide for my friend. He's got it covered.

This also ties in great with what I have been studying in Theology class about natural revelation, or the things that can be learned about God from observing His creation. And to finish off this post here is a verse from His special revelation:

31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:31-33 NIV)

Balance

2008-09-29T08:59:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I've entered the point in my seminary education where the books you read and the topics you discuss don't quite seem to match up with the faith you practice. One of the things about being a seminary student is that you get the opportunity to thoroughly think through your faith. If you are not careful you could easily grab on to aspects of theology that are not necessarily biblical when taken to extremes. Because of this aspect of seminary I would highly recommend that anyone that is contemplating attending should check the foundations of your faith so that your experience will not shake you, but rather solidify your resolve for what you believe.

I will say that I have been blessed in that my theology professor is a very strong Christian and holds to a solid biblical understanding of his faith. This makes reading those books that "test" your faith easier because at the end of the day he will bring us back to a strong Christological center.

I have come to realize, however not for the first time, through my reading of all the things that the church has believed and currently believes, that there is a definite balance that keeps our faith in line with what the Bible teaches. It is amazing how many big names in church history who have had so many things right about their faith, but because of a swing too far right or too far left on some seemingly obscure aspect, they tip into the realm of heresy. I am thoroughly convinced that if it had not been for the guidance of the Holy Spirit the church as we know it today would not exist, because we as fallen creatures have sure done a lot to try and make it something it never was intended. But to quote Paul, "thanks be to God," He has kept His hand on things and always brought us back in line, and preserved His church.

I find the challenge of reading and really thinking through ideas that I don't necessarily agree with to be a good work out for my faith. But I would have to reiterate that balance is the word of the day. Maintaining a strong prayer life, daily time spent in God's word both for devotion and study and being plugged into a strong community of Christ followers, are essentials when meeting this type of mental and spiritual challenge.

It can be fun, challenging and even educational to find out what others have said and taught about God, the Bible and the church. But at the end of the day it is crucial to remember that ultimately it is not man who reveals God to us, it is God through His perfect word that reveals Himself to man through the guidance of the Holy Spirit (2Peter 1:20-21).

έκκλησία

2008-09-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

It seems lately I have been bombarded with questions about the church. Questions about where I serve in a church, what denomination of church do I attend, and even why I attend church. I study about how the church developed over the ages in my seminary classes. I read about the latest trends in church worship, leadership, and administration. I talk to people about how they choose a church or why they are looking for a new church. I can’t seem to escape this focus on the church.

It’s not that I don’t want to focus on the church, of course I do, after all I am a seminary student. No, its more like God has been placing an awareness of the way we seem to approach church on my heart. It’s hard to explain, I’ve always known that there is a disconnect between the way He intended church to be and how our western culture has morphed it into something else. But lately I’ve become hyper sensitive to the way the idea of church is approached.

I guess one of the things that has been bothering me is the consumer minded approach that people take when looking for a church. This has been brought into crystal clear focus for me lately as I have counseled several friends and family in their quest to find a new church (as if there is such a thing; more on that in a minute), and my own quest to find a local church to attend near the seminary when we are not back at our home church in Granite Bay. I hear people say thing like, “I just want to go some where to be fed” or “I want good worship.” It’s like they are picking out apples at the grocery store, “I want red ones not green ones.” They toss around fancy names and denominations like they are brand names on a shelf. It’s really quite disturbing.

I guess what disturbs me most about this mentality is the things I don’t hear people saying. I don’t hear people say they are looking for a place to serve. They don’t seem to be looking for a congregation that is serving the community, or being effective in missions. They want all the flash and glitter, but they aren’t looking for a place that will employ their gifts and challenge their faith.

I think that much of this mentality stems from the fact that we actually think that the church is a place that we go, instead of a community that we belong to. We see all the different church buildings and think that they are all inclusive in and of themselves. We have a wrong view of what the church really is.

Somehow we have changed our understanding of what the church really is. Some where between the first century and the twenty-first we lost track of the real intent of what the church was formed as. I guess the first clue would be that when we refer back to the first century church we say “church” singular, now we talk about “churches” plural. The church was never intended to be divided, no where in the Bible does it talk about the Methodist church in Corinth and the Baptist church in Ephesus. It just talks about the church as a singular entity. Chuck Colson puts it this way:

"For biblically the church is an organism not an organization—a movement, not a monument. It is not a part of the community; it is a whole new community. It is not an orderly gathering; it is a new order with new values, often in sharp conflict with the values of the surrounding society. "1

Therein lies the rub, we treat the church, Christ’s church, as if it was a country club in which we choose the best entertainment package to serve us. Instead of the universal spiritual community that was designed to serve others.

Most people don’t even know that the Greek word, έκκλησία (ecclesia) that is translated church in our English Bible, is more literally translated assembly or congregation. It is simply the gathering of Christ followers into a community designed to serve.

I think that when we lost focus of what the church was, we also lost track of what the purpose of the church was as well. We choose congregations based upon what we can get from them, not on how they can best utilize our gifts for service. Most church attendees have little or no intention of doing anything more than sitting in a pew on Sunday morning to be entertained and then go home feeling “sanctified” because they have been “at church”.

This is not how the apostle Paul explains it, “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ” (1 Cor. 12:12 NIV). Within this context of the church, if the feet are sitting idly by in a pew, it makes it exceedingly difficult for the arms to reach out to a lost and dying world because they can’t get past the building walls.

If we don’t have a right understanding of the church and its purpose, then it cannot fulfill its purpose. We need to educate the parts of the “body” that are too busy shopping, so that they can have a more mature view of the church. Paul explains that all parts of the body are crucial and when any part is sidelined for any reason, the whole body suffers. I think that is why the church struggles so much today with its image and effectiveness, it’s because too many parts of the body are sidelined with immature views of what the church is supposed to be, they are focused in on themselves instead of being outwardly focused on serving Christ.

I guess all of this is to say that my developing view, as I have established from scripture, is in stark contrast from what I see in practice. I see the church as a single spiritual community that has at its core the purpose to serve. That community will meet in different geographical locations, but not be bound by those locations. The service will manifest itself according to the needs in the surrounding society. But, it is still one body called to service. An active, living, growing, maturing, entity with Christ at its center; motivated to serve by love.

So if you want to be a part of the church, know your gifts and talents and become a part of the church community where they can best be utilized in service. I you want to be entertained, Go to the Movies!
____________
[1] Charles W. Colson. Knowing God, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1996), 181.

Truth?

2008-09-01T22:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I open up my Theology book for the first time this week. The first thing I see is a huge title for chapter 1 “What is Truth?” Ouch! They don’t start light with these things do they? After I rolled my eyes and breathed a huge sigh, I decided to actually read the chapter and I decided that it’s really not a bad question to ask.

My first reaction to the question is pretty obvious, it’s Jesus. Jesus tells us that, “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). And actually that is the right answer, but there is more to it than just the “Sunday school” answer. We need to ask some questions. Why is Jesus the truth? How did He become the truth? What does it mean that He is the truth? These are some pretty heavy questions, especially if you’re an outsider looking in to the realm of Christianity. There are some Christian scholars that have trouble with some of these questions.

I think that each Christian needs to wrestle with these and other related questions for him or herself. I do believe that there are concrete answers to those types of questions but I also believe that it is important to be able to communicate the reasons why we believe that Jesus is the “truth”.

There is a whole world out there that doesn’t believe like we do as Christians and many of them even think that they have a better answer to the question of truth. There are those that also think that definitive truth doesn’t even exist. And then there are those that think truth is what you make of it yourself. I think that our job as Christ followers is to be able to articulate why we believe the way we do about truth and also be able to introduce those who don’t think like we do to the living evidence of the truth in our lives.

I suppose I’m going to disappoint anyone that might actually read this, because I’m not going to give the answer, other than to say that I believe the John 14:6 answer. Not that I can’t give the answer, it’s just that I don’t think that is what this blog entry is about. No, I think it’s more about the challenge to look at questions like this as Christ followers and understanding the importance of why we should be able to answer them.

After all, how can we expect to be able to, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have,” (1 Peter 3:15) if you don’t know the Truth.

Seminary Life Update

2008-08-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, my family and I have been living on campus at GGBTS for about two weeks now. The move was exhausting and we still have way too much stuff for our smaller living quarters, but all in all things went very well. We didn't even break anything.

The kids have been adjusting well and have even made new friends on campus. The weather is rarely above 74 degrees and the fog/overcast is usually gone by 10am.

God has continued to bless our family in this season of our lives by providing me with a part time job at the campus with the facilities maintenance department. The hours are going to be extremely flexible and I will be able to get around 10-15 hours a week, which is perfect for what we need. It's really a great match with my work background I will be able to assist in the larger projects around campus requiring equipment operation and the smaller tasks will be a lot less stressful than my old job.

There a few downsides, like we are having to get used to doing laundry at the laundromat. And the kids are having to learn how to wash dishes in the sink because we don't have a dishwasher.
Julie seems to be enjoying her new job as assistant director of the Golden Gate Academy (on campus pre-school), and Emily really enjoys going to work with mommy everyday. School hasn't started for the older two yet, and they are happy for that. William and Lizzy will start school on August 28th and I start classes on the 25th.

I've really enjoyed having the last few weeks off with the kids. I've had lots of time to read (three books so far) and lots of time to cook (I really enjoy cooking), I even had time to can salsa. But as much as I have enjoyed the time off, I am really looking forward to classes this semester.

I guess that is enough update info for now. I would ask that those of you who have been praying for my family continue to pray that we can adjust financially to living on a substantially lesser income that we did before the move. I also want to thank all of those who have been praying for us during this very big life change, God has truly blessed us with all the opportunity and has provided for everything necessary to make this happen.

I have one more prayer request. The campus has a lot of wildlife and especially deer. Emily loves the deer. This leads me to my request, pray for the deer. Emily chases them all over campus. Pray that she doesn't actually catch one!

it

2008-08-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

Last week I attended the Willow Creek Leadership Summit and heard Craig Groeschel speak. He’s the pastor of LifeChurch.TV. I had heard of the church before but did not know much about Craig but I really liked his speaking style and especially what he had to say, so like every good conference goer I picked up Craig’s latest book “it: How Churches and Leaders Can Get it and Keep it”.

Now I’m not much for writing book reviews, but I had to say something about Craig’s book. I could hardly put the thing down until I had finished it. Craig explains that it is that thing that makes ministries and leaders special and effective. He goes on to explain that you definitely know it when you see it, and you surely know when it is not present. Craig honestly explains that he doesn’t know exactly what it is, but he’s sure it comes from the Holy Spirit. He is able to explain what leaders and churches that have it look like and that is what most of the book is about.

Craig is a very witty and intriguing writer and truly knows it when he sees it. Craig explains seven distinct characteristics that churches and leaders display when they have it, and the bulk of his book follow each of these characteristics with a chapter dedicated to each one.

My favorite two chapters in this book are about vision and a willingness to fall short. In his chapter on vision Craig explains that churches that have it are laser focused. He explains that very rarely can one church do many things excellently, they may do them good, but not excellent. Churches and leaders that have it narrow down their focus on only those things that they can do excellent.

In his chapter on a willingness to fall short Craig talks about having a culture of “failure is essential”. He talks about failing forward, or being willing to fail and learn from your mistakes. Craig talks about how churches that stop taking risks begin to loose it, and those who are willing to risk big tend to have it even if everything they try doesn’t succeed.

I think this book goes a long way to explaining why so many churches and leaders seem to stagnate and even decline. It challenges us to take a close look at ourselves and our ministries and see if we are truly focused on the things that Christ is focused on, or are we getting bogged down with the trappings of success or of just doing church.

God's work displyed

2008-08-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

John 9:1-3
1 As He was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples questioned Him: " Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," Jesus answered. "[This came about] so that God's works might be displayed in him.

Did you ever think that maybe sometimes the events, episodes, or circumstances in our life happen for no other reason than for God to show His hand in our lives? I'm not saying that we don't have alot to do with the stuff that happens in our lives, after all we have free will, but I'm just saying that maybe we should take a closer look sometimes and see that God truly orchestrated an event just so that His mighty power could be displayed and used as a powerful example that He truly is alive and active in our personal lives.

Just a simple thought.

Exhausted

2008-07-28T00:36:00.000-07:00

Merriam-Webster defines the word exhausted as: 1 a: to consume entirely : use up.
In the process of packing up our home of the last 9 years, I have found myself feeling completely used up. In the last week I have preached my first sermon, held a huge garage sale, cleaned the church, packed up a 2700 sq. ft. house, and served communion. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted!

Just thought you would like to know.

I Survived!

2008-07-20T13:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I survived my first preaching experience. I'm not sure how it went because it seemed like so much of a blur. I'm not sure I even breathed during the whole thing. I do know one thing, I am totally exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for hours, in fact I might just do that.

It was a very big step for me out of my comfort zone, but a very important step if I ever expect to do full time ministry. I'm just very grateful to have such a great church family that will allow me to have the opportunity to take this step in their presence. I'm also very grateful for my friends who encouraged me and couched me through this whole thing, even when I wanted to just drop the whole thing because I was frustrated with myself.

I'm not sure that I am ready to go out and start preaching every Sunday, but I do believe that I could probably do it again with a little less anxiety. But ultimately the credit goes to God, without Him holding me up and covering me with His grace, I would never have even taken the step to get on stage.

I just pray that somehow the message that God wanted to convey this morning was able to get out in spite of me, not because of me.

Moving on Up

2008-06-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

For those of you that still check my blog from time to time, waiting to see if I will some day post again, I'm Back. My life has been turned upside down and inside out. I'm not sure my mind has stopped spinning from all the changes since I last posted. I must have sat down a dozen times to post an entry and every time I've been interrupted or pulled away by all the craziness going on.

I will start back in March when I last posted. I was in the middle of the semester at seminary and was in full business mode when I found out that my wife, Julie who is a school teacher, was being laid off as part of the massive budget cuts that the state was making in the education area. Needless to say we were thrown for a bit of a loop because Julie had always had good reviews and was well liked by the parents at her school (it seems she was too expensive).

So with the looming lack of income we were frantically trying to figure out how we were going to pay our mortgage in August, because her last pay check would be in July. In the process of that, things were getting really crazy at my work with the down turn in the economy. We were facing layoffs for the third time this year. My job was secure but the amount of hours I was being expected to work due to the lack of employees left was getting to be ridiculous. I was spending approximately 14 hours away from home between work and my commute. I was also beginning to really have issues with the direction my company was going with their business policies. And to top it all off I was starting to really see the lack of leadership in my own boss, something that didn't really materialize until things got tough with the market down turn. Needless to say I wasn't a happy camper but I was really stuck with my wife loosing her job and the market being so crappy.

I was able to finish the semester at seminary but my work at the church really suffered. I was really stressed between work, school, church and the looming lack of income. I wish I could say that I was able to just give it all to Jesus and not worry about what would happen, but that is just not my nature. I was a stress ball and my family life really suffered for a while. I did finally find the ability to give the worry about the future over the Christ through my prayer time, but it took a couple of stress filled months before I gave it all up. I like to hold on to things, I was raised to take full responsibility for my life and work as hard and as long as possible until you figure it all out. Not exactly the scriptural view found in Matthew 6.

In the middle of June after finding out that the seminary was hiring for an assistant director for their on campus pre-school program, my wife applied for the position. Even though it seemed like so much of a pipe dream to get a job at the seminary and move to Mill Valley, that is exactly what happened. My wife and I never really thought that there was even a remote possibility that we could swing the life change that would make a move to the seminary possible. We were right, but God could. As soon as we prayed and admitted that this was really what we wanted, God began to open door after door.

At first there seemed to be an enormous amount of obstacles in the way, one of the biggest was housing. We own our home, or more accurately the bank owns our home, and we are about 100 grand upside down due to the market situation. There was also no three bedroom housing available on campus, which was the smallest space we could fit our three kids into. But God came through and had the seminary take two of their two bedroom units and make them into one four bedroom unit. We will be occupying the largest space they have on campus.

With this huge obstacle out of the way, we decided that we could rent out our house so that the bank would not take it back. Then we crunched the numbers and with a little larger than expected salary for my wife, we decided we could actually make this happen and the best part is that I will not have to work while I go to school full time.

On June 27th I worked my last day for United Rentals, leaving after 15 years with the company. It was an amazing experience to be able to quite my job, and with 5 weeks of vacation paid out to me I will be able to not work all summer while we prepare to move.

On top of all of this the seminary gives Julie free tuition to finish her masters, and give me a 50% discount on my tuition as long as she is employed with the seminary.

Our final move takes place on July 25th and Julie starts work on the 30th. Never in my wildest dreams would I have figured that I would be going back to school full time at 36 years old and quitting a job I had held for 15 years. God does some amazing things. I went from a stressed out part time seminary student working 13+ hours a day to being an unemployed full time seminary student that will now be able reacquaint himself with his three kids and wife. God is amazing!

It's not all been perfect sailing, there is the minor part of leaving a church that I truly feel God still has a place for me in. My pastor keeps telling me to, "just hurry up and don't drink the punch". I do believe that God has called me and my family to go to seminary, but I also feel that He wants me to go back to Shadowridge church. Leaving my new church family and best friend has been the hardest part of all the changes that God has orchestrated. But I also believe that He will provide for those things as well. It's only about 2 hours from Mill Valley to Granite Bay so I hope to make the trip at least one weekend a month, just so we can stay connected.

It's been an incredible ride, and I have learned to trust God more through this whole experience. And on top of it all I am preaching my first ever bona fide sermon Sunday morning. Did I already say that God is amazing? He truly is.

If it wasn't for God's amazing grace, I would still be a stress ball, over worked, and probably going to marriage counseling by now. But God has seen fit to call myself and my family to things far greater than I even dared pray for. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next.

I will also be keeping this blog updated more often. Especially now that I have the time to do it, by the grace of God.

It's Not About YOU

2008-03-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

You know Rick Warren really got it right when he wrote in the first line of the first chapter of The Purpose Driven Life, "It's not about YOU" (emphasis mine). There seems to be an arrogance in me that I don't even realize is there. Let me explain; we tend to think that it is what we do or how we do it that enables God to work through us. Even those of us that have a low self esteem like to give ourselves credit for being able to prevent God from doing things through us. How arrogant is it to think that we as created beings have the ability to stop the creator of the universe from accomplishing His will!

I tend to spend too much time worrying about how little talent I have or how much I have to learn in order to get into ministry. By worrying I then take my focus off of God and get bogged down by focusing on me and what I have to do in order to be used by God. When all God wants is my attention and He will do the rest. Why is it that we allow ourselves to become paralyzed by our circumstances? Jesus told us in the Sermon on the Mount:

Matthew 6:25-34 (The Message)

25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Christ makes it clear that it's not our focus on ourselves that makes us what we are to be, rather, it's our focus on Him. He didn't create me to spend my life worrying about making money, increasing my status or becoming influential. As a Christ follower I already have the most valuable prize there is, and as for status and influence I carry around in me the fullness of the Son of God, there is no greater influence and no higher status that can be gained in this universe.

Life can be complicated and tends to get really messy at times. I would challenge each person to take a close look at what our focus is in those instances and see if it is not the same times when we focus most on self and least on God, I know this is true in my life. It's my wake up call when things go haywire. It's God's way of telling me to change my focus and return to a right way of thinking of things. Now I'm not saying that there will not be challenges in life, but I am saying that we should, "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal," (2 Cor. 4:18 NIV). I have come to realize that our temporary struggles pale in comparison with what God has in mind.

The enemy wants us to become bogged down in the struggles of life. We take our eyes off of Jesus, just like Peter did while walking on the Sea of Galilee, and we begin to sink. We suddenly become self consumed with our well being and forget that it's the well being of others that Jesus challenged us to look out for. We forget that Jesus is all too willing to hold out His hand and pull us up out of the sea and walk with us back into the boat. He will not let us fall as long as we keep looking toward Him, and in those instances when we look away, He calls out our name and brings our attention back to Him.

Christ called us to go out into all the world, sharing what He so graciously has given us. Not to go out and collect stuff and worry about how we are going to keep all this stuff when things go bad. A car, a boat, a house... these are things that Jesus did not have, yet He possessed a relationship with God that He would not withhold from us and that He promised would sustain us forever. So don't worry, its not about you, or me.

Work in Progress

2008-03-07T19:20:00.001-08:00

Have you ever felt like the granite block that the sculptor was chiseling on? Have you felt like ore in the smelter being melted down for refinement? Have you ever felt like the lump of clay that the potter pounds and stretches on the wheel? Well that is exactly how I have been feeling lately. I feel like I'm being pounded on, stretched and burned. I'm not sure I can take any more beating.

I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions at one time. The problem is that each direction is a crucially important one. I have seminary that requires my time for study. I have my job that requires my time so I can make a living. I have my commitment to ministry at church that requires my time availability and willingness to stretch myself. And I have my family that requires my time for well... everything. I'm out of directions and I'm out of time.

Besides the obvious desire to spend more time with my family, it seems that my time constraints for seminary and ministry (which are intertwined) are the ones that I struggle for more time with. I want so much to be able to spend more time studying and writing for both seminary and for church. I feel like I truly am growing and stretching in the area of writing and critical thinking and this comes from my time at seminary. I also feel like I'm growing in application and presentation and this is attributed to my time in ministry.

These both are areas that I enjoy greatly, but it also seem like the area in my life that I take the most hits for. I'm constantly questioned about my decision to spend time in school, even my mentor has questioned the wisdom in going to seminary. I'm also struggling with my time spent in ministry, time I seemingly could spend with my family or at work helping support my family. It seems like the most important areas of my life are in direct competition with each other.

I am convinced, however, that because of the value of all these things that take up my time that I am doing the right thing. After all if I wasn't effecting my growth and the growth of the kingdom, my time would seem plentiful and I wouldn't be challenged as much about my decisions.

Paul talks about the challenges in ministry in 2 Corinthians chapter 4:

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

He goes on to say:

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I'm encouraged by this, because it tells me that even though its tuff right now and I seem to have alot of opposition, my end result is not what I see here and now but how God uses me through the struggle. I know that the more I turn in His direction, the more opposition I will face. It would be very easy to drop out of seminary and regain my life, but what would I be missing out on by not following God's call. And I'm sure that the reason I'm in seminary to begin with is because God called me there, so I will carry on.

I'm comforted to know that its God's hands that are chiseling, refining and molding me into what He wants me to become. I just hope he takes a break soon.

Weakness

2008-02-10T20:32:00.000-08:00

From time to time I find myself getting down because of what I have read in scripture. I compare myself to those who I read about and think how weak I am. I look at the life that Paul lived or the way that Peter lead the early church and realize that I am not even a fraction of the person that they were and I really don't see myself ever holding a candle to them. It can be quite depressing, especially when I look at all of my imperfections.

I'm hyper aware of my shortcomings. I deal with some pretty deeply embedded issues like insecurity, which leads to my huge fear of public speaking. Then you pile on all the bad decisions that I've made that have caused some long term consequences to deal with and you get a pretty shabby looking excuse for a servant of God.

But I was reminded today that God actually prefers to use imperfect people for some pretty big ministries. Take for example Moses, as you look back at him he accomplished one of the hardest tasks that God laid on anyone by moving some fairly stubborn Hebrews across a lot of desert for along time. But Moses started off much like me with a healthy dose of insecurity that lead him to beg God to reconsider using him for His spokesman (Ex 4:10-13).

Look at king David as another example. He started out as the most unlikely candidate for being king, he was just a scrawny shepherd boy(1Sam 16:1-13). He wasn't even the first born he came way down the line, even his father couldn't believe that he was chosen. Then he proved himself by his bravery and his strength of character.

There are times when I look at the mistakes I've made and say to myself, "How can God ever use someone so stained with sin?" I can be pretty hard on myself, in fact there are times when my low self esteem keeps me from taking the most positive of compliments to heart. I struggle to keep it from making me ineffective in my ministry.

I take another look at king David for encouragement. He is one of my spiritual hero's but it's funny how his flaws are what bring me the most encouragement. David made some huge mistakes in his life. One example is the whole adultery thing with Bathsheba (2 Sam 11:1-5). Not only did David sleep with her but then in order to cover up the fact that Bathsheba was pregnant he had her husband killed on the battle field (2 Sam 11:14-17). Yet David is the one that God chose to make His covenant with establishing Davids kingdom forever (2 Sam 7:4-17).

The greatest men that the Bible reports on were compromised in some fashion. Yet God chose to restore them and was willing to do great things through them. This brings me a lot of hope that even though I'm not perfect, God doesn't need me to be in order to use me. Even Paul who God used to spread the Gospel to the Gentiles records his struggle with weakness, but God told him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness," (2Cor 12:9). I have to remind myself of that fact more often than I like to but the fact of the matter is Jesus doesn't care what we think we can do, what He wants is for us to be available to do what He can do through us. It's when we stop looking at the weakness of our flesh that we will then be able to realize the fullness of the power that resides within us as Christians (Gal 2:20).

Provision

2008-02-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

God's provision is one act of faith away. God wants very much to bless us. The problem is that we tend to place things in the way of that blessing. It defies conventional wisdom, but often the very thing that we need the most is what blocks our blessing. God will require that thing of us in order for us to receive His blessing.

Abraham experienced this in Genesis 22. God wanted to bless Abraham and make Him the father of a great nation. The problem is that Abraham didn't have any children, making it impossible for his blood line to proceed. So God gave Abraham a son at the age of 100. If you read chapters 15 & 16 you will see just how important it was to Abraham to have a son, he placed a great value on having an heir. In chapter 22 God tested Abraham to see just how much value he placed on his heir by requiring Abraham to offer his son Isaac as a burnt offering.

You see God wanted to make sure that the thing that would provide the greatest blessing to Abraham wouldn't be the very thing that blocked him from gaining that blessing. God wanted to see if Isaac was more important to Abraham than being obedient to God. Even though it didn't make a lick of sense to sacrifice the only heir he had, making it seemingly impossible to fulfill the promise of making Abraham's descendants a great nation, he trusted that God knew what He was doing and obeyed Him. When God saw that Abraham had faith in Him, God provided what Abraham needed and was able to bless him.

We often fail to see that the very thing we hold on to the tightest could be the very thing that is blocking our blessing. When God asks us to put some area of our life on the alter do we respond in faith and place it there? Or do we hold on to that thing for fear that God will not bless us and miss out for a lack of faith?

God's provision is only one act of faith away. Are you willing to make the sacrifice?

New Small Group

2008-01-31T20:43:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be starting a small group on Sunday mornings at 8:30am. It's not going to be your typical small group because other than attending the same church (mostly) the only other thing those attending will have in common is that 8:30am on Sunday morning is the only time we have in our week to be a part of a small group. I know its probably not the best thing to build a group around but it fills a need. It will no doubt be more difficult to establish community with little more than a meeting time in common, but its a challenge I'm willing to take.

I plan on starting off our study with the curriculum we are writing to go along with our Tri-God sermon series. It's actually a good basis to start with because it establishes the existence of God and the truth of the Bible. After that it goes through the eight covenant names of God revealed in the old testament. Each name coincides with a specific nature of God revealed in scripture. We start off with Jehovah Jireh or the Lord our God as provider.

I also plan on having a group focus on prayer. I know every group should focus on prayer, however most people don't actually track their prayer life. I'm going to challenge each member to keep a two part prayer journal. The first part will be their "share prayers" or the specific things that they want the group to know about, that way we can be specific in our prayers for each other. The second part is going to be their private journal and it will be up the individual to maintain that, but I will highly encourage them to keep it up dated so we can share our progress and blessings along the way.

At some point I would like to do a study in this group on the "Lord's Prayer". I want to study as a group the importance and value that Jesus placed on prayer. The study will go through each individual property of the model prayer and how we can utilize the format and still be authentic in our prayers. I will also spend some time explaining the role that the Holy Spirit plays as interceder in our prayer life.

I only have about 5 people starting on Sunday with me so we will have some room to grow. Even though the personalities are vastly different, I think this is going to be a very fun group. Challenging but fun.

We will be meeting at Pete's coffee across the street from the church. I figure we will gather between 8 and 8:30 with our official starting time at 8:30am with a hard ending time at 9:30am, giving everyone time to get over to the church in time for service to start at 10. Feel free to drop by, I would love to see you.

Cool new challenges

2008-01-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

We are doing a new series at ShadowRidge Church that will take us through the next 10 weeks. It's called Tri-God and starting with last weeks message the first two messages will establish the existence of God and this week the Bible as His inspired word. These first two messages are very apologetic in nature and are presented as a basis for the remainder of the series which will reveal to us God's nature by exploring the covenant names of God from the Old Testament. This is going to be a very exciting series, and has already started out that way. Check out our podcast at www.shadowridgechurch.com.

I tell you all of this only to say that my job is to, in conjunction with Pastor Mike, write small group material that will follow the series. We are having our entire small group community follow along with the Sunday series. I'm very excited to tackle this project, but I'm terrified at the same time. I have never actually written study material before. Sure I've taken existing material and tweaked it to fit my needs but never from scratch. This is going to be a real challenge and I'm already facing my old friend "low self esteem". I sent off my first weeks lesson to Pastor Mike and he said that he liked it but I have yet to see how the final product will look, and how much Mike had to tweak what I gave him to make it usable.

On top of this challenge I have been serving as MC for this series, which is a huge stretch for me as well, due to my incredible stage fright. I've always been a behind the scenes person. Put me in charge of anything that doesn't have to do with speaking in front of a room full of people and I'm fine, but put in the spot light and I'm terrified. I'm not sure why this is such a big deal for me since I have no problem leading small groups. I love leading group discussion and interacting on a more personal level with people. In fact it's the relationship building and support that I love about small group life. But standing in front of an auditorium full of people will leave me sleepless for nights before. I guess it might have to do with the lack of interaction, or maybe because I will look like a fool when I freeze up under the spot light.

I guess you might ask why I do these things if they freak me out so much? Fair question. The reason is actually very simple. It's what God is calling me to do. My hearts desire is to serve the body of Christ full time some day. In fact I cannot wait until I can quite renting construction equipment for a living and do what God has truly called me to. But in the mean time I have to develop skills that I lack and grow in areas that I am weak in, and that is what I'm doing. I have no doubt that at some point in time I will be called upon to actually preach the Word of God to His people and I need to be able to stand up in front of them and actually speak intelligibly. So I start small and make announcements and pray for the service, and hone my skills as a writer and exegete by writing small group material.

Don't get me wrong, I by no means think that I'm called to be a preaching pastor, but as an associate pastor I will still be called upon to preach from time to time and I need to be ready. Who knows maybe I will get good at this small group thing and even lead seminars or speak at conferences. It could happen, so I need to be ready.

Pray for me in all of this, because on top of all these exciting things going on in my life Seminary starts next Monday and my 50-60 hour a week work schedule doesn't go away. Not to mention that my three beautiful kids still like to see their dad once in a while and so does my extremely understanding wife.

Oh, by the way I forgot to mention that I'm starting a new small group on Sunday mornings from 8:30am to 9:30am at Pete's coffee across the street from the church. Stop by, I would love to see you there.